# Enjoy every moment



## pinksalamander (May 30, 2008)

I think by writing this i am probably making things worse for myself. Its just i need to write down all my thoughts so i can remember them and hopefully make something better of them in the future.

We just lost William.

I have no idea why.

It all started yesterday, he seemed really relaxed as he sat in the kitchen. I thought he must have been really happy because he was so chilled out. My Mum said to me 'are you sure he's alright?' I said, 'thats what i was thinking'. I brushed it aside. I thought he must have just been so happy he could relax so much.

This morning i got him out of his hutch, to try and see if he was getting along with Lottie anymore, doing a small bonding session. He seemed quiet again. He hopped to a corner and sat down, his eyes quite closed. I noticed a little later he was shaking a bit. He didn't seem majorly bad, i told my Mum on the phone he had been a little off but i had to go and babysit my cousins so she said she would bring him in for some cuddle time.

It seems so weird now that i was so unaware, playing card games with my cousins and watching TV. My Mum rang my Aunties house and said he had taken a turn for the worst. He'd gone really cold and was shivering/shaking badly. She had tried to ring around to find a vet but none were open, (this was about 9.30).

I asked if she would come pick me up, take me and my two cousins back to our house. I was just so worried that if something happened to him i wouldn't be there.

When we got home he was very cold. We put a hot water bottle under him and blankets over him. He was shaking badly and found it difficult to hold up his head. I thought maybe making him eat something would give him some energy. We couldn't get him to eat anything so my Mum dug around in the drawer. She also found a packet of recovery food we had been given after his neuter that he hadn't needed. I thought it couldn't hurt so we fed him some.

After about 20 minutes he seemed a little more awake. He started to retaliate when we tried to syringe feed him. I thought that at least he was puting up a fight so he was a little stronger.

It carried on for ages. I kept stroking him, he seemed so exhausted, his front legs were splayed because he couldn't keep them in the middle of the cushion. Everynow and again he tried to hop out. At one point he tried to hop out and onto the floor. We thought maybe he was gaining strength so i picked him up and placed him on the top of the blankets. Immediatley he fell over, he started having seizures. At that point i was pretty sure he wasn't going to survive more than an hour, let alone until tomorrow morning when i could take him to the vets. 

After his seizures he laid on his side, breathing slowly but twitching every now and again. I just kept stroking him. I knew he was going to die sometime soon.

After about half an hour he stopped breathing.




I just don't know what to do. I've had animals die before but its so difficult everytime. I don't think i can stand getting anymore animals because i just don't know if i can handle having more deaths. When my cat dies i know the pain will be even worse. 

I am also worried that it was something to do with Lottie. It seems that i introduced them in the morning, and started noticing signs of him being ill that evening. I do resent her, even though i know it wasn't her intentional fault, it may not have been anything to do with her but i can't help thinking it and i hate myself for it.

I did even feel like crying that much until my Mum did. She picked him up and she said she just couldn't do it anymore. She said she never wants me to get another animal because they all die soemtime and she can't stand going through it anymore.

Everyone has gone now. I'm just going to go to bed and home i can sleep. I'm sure in a while i will be over it but i just don't know what to do. I feel so horrible that i have this other rabbit, who i'm not even that friendly with. Of course i still like her, but i don't love her yet and all i want is him back. I keep wondering if i'd never got her in the first place would this have never happened?! I now know she won't be as happy, and she will too have to be a solitary bunny like Will was, and that makes me even sadder.

So i just wanted to say, don't take your animals for granted. And that maybe we should all think about this when we buy other animals. Animals are fantastic to keep, but at some point they will die. I don't think, now i've gone through this (which for some reason, seemed exceptionally hard) i can bear getting another animal because i know at some point they will die and the less animals i have the less pain i have to go through. 

Just remember that you never know what is going to happen, and you may think that it will never turn out bad, or that you can go to the vet and everything will be fine.

Sorry for this post being so long and boring. I just needed to write down what was going through my mind.

The last picture i took of him:


----------



## naturestee (May 30, 2008)

Oh god I'm so sorry. Binky free little William.

Would you like this thread moved to the Rainbow Bridge?

Is there any possibility he could have gotten into something poisonous? I don't know why but I just thought of that. 

:hug:


----------



## trailsend (May 30, 2008)

Oh sweetie, I am so very, very sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I've been in rescue for many years and I have loved and lost so many animals, it would be hard to count them all.... it never gets any easier. But sadly it's a fact of life that everything and everyone comes to it's end on this world.... But it never feels fair, and it always hurts. I know it's easy for me to say right now, but try and remember all the joy William brought you, and how lucky you were to have had him in your life. Remember the positives, I feel so strongly that that is what our loved ones, animals, and humans, would want from us above all... and I also believe that they are never truly gone as long as they are in our hearts.

Many hugs to you.... I'm so sorry. 

~D


----------



## trailsend (May 30, 2008)

I meant to add.. it really doesn't seem like Lottie had anything to do with it. It must have just been his time. If they didn't fight or anything, it doesn't seem like there is any reason for her to have caused it. Wish I had some help to offer.... sometimes we just don't know.


----------



## Alexah (May 30, 2008)

Oh my...

I'm so, so unbelievably sorry. It seems that there has been so much pain lately for so many of us. While I was just beginning to know you, William, and Lottie, I felt a kindred spirit among us. And since I had a William...well, I'm just so sorry.

What can I personally take away from my own experiences as well as those that have recently touched us all - your William, Shiloh's Tallulah, and even my own babies that have been rehomed? I need to take each moment and cherish it as a treasured memory for I never know when it will be taken away.

I'm just heartbroken for you.

Rest in pease, sweet boy. You were loved and will always be with us all in our hearts and minds.


----------



## Elf Mommy (May 30, 2008)

[align=center]I'm so sorry for your loss  [/align]
[align=center]









[/align]


----------



## Bo B Bunny (May 30, 2008)

OMG! I can't believe this! 



RIP little guy.


----------



## TinysMom (May 30, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. I had just walked in here to do a post (which I'm still going to do) reminding folks to take pictures and videos of their bunnies - because they bring so much comfort to us (or at least to me) later on...after losing them.

I wish I knew what to say- but words are just too inadequate. I am just sorry.


----------



## pumpkinandwhiskersmom (May 30, 2008)

:bigtears:ray::rip::sosad


----------



## LuvaBun (May 30, 2008)

This is so awful. I can't believe it's happened so quickly. Poor William, and poor you. I can't imagine how much your hurting at the minute.

I am so very sorry. Like Trailsend says, I don't think Lottie could have been the cause - sometimes these things just happen. Has it been very hot there lately? (Just thinking heat stroke or something :?)

Thinking of you

Jan


----------



## FallingStar (May 30, 2008)

ink iris:My my god! I'm so sorry for the loss of William. I bet seeing him like that was heartbraking. 

Binky Free. :rainbow:


----------



## LadyBug (May 30, 2008)

:rainbow:ink iris::rip:ink iris::rainbow:

 *~*~*~*~William~*~*~*~*

 :angelandbunny:



Tonyshuman posted this somewhere else andI thought I'd post it here too~


[align=center][font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than*[/font][font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*our own live within a fragile circle easily and often breached. Unable to *[/font][font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory *[/font][font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary *[/font][font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*plan." *[/font][/align]

[align=center]

[font="Times New Roman,adobe-times,Times"]*Irving Townsend*[/font][/align]
I'm so sorry for your loss:bigtears::hug1


----------



## juliew19673 (May 30, 2008)

Ahhh Sweetie I am so very sorry for you - I know how much you loved William.. Lottie didn't have anything to do with Williams death I am sure and she will most likely go through her own mourning for him - as she will realize he is no longer around - so try to keep that in mind; she needs comforting just as you do.

It is hard to watch you dear beloved pet pass on but I also keep in mind that it is the sweetest thing to be able to be with them so that they do so knowing up until the last minute that you loved them. Think of all the wonderful things William brought into your life - I only knew him for such a short time and he made me giggle.

I hope your heart heals quickly - and sometime it helps just to get it out to write it all down here and we will listen and console as much as we can.

RIP William - binky free buddy!


----------



## trailsend (May 30, 2008)

*LadyBug wrote: *


> :rainbow:ink iris::rip:ink iris::rainbow:
> 
> *~*~*~*~William~*~*~*~*
> 
> ...


This is beautiful - I am going to frame this.


----------



## lilangelhotots (May 30, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how deeply you are hurting right now. Please know that I'm praying for you and your mom. William was well loved and I know he knew it! Binky free sweetWilliam:rainbow:


----------



## Jenson (May 31, 2008)

I'm so sorry. William was a gorgeous boy, he knew he was loved.


----------



## tort (May 31, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss and understand what you are feeling and going through at the moment. I too lost someone that was very dear to me just last monday. Your loss is our loss. Our prayers and thought are with you.


[align=center]If I Had Known 
(Charrlotte' s Poem) 
By Shayna Smith 

If I had know this would be the last time I felt your warm tongue 
If I had known this would be the last time you slept in mycoat 
If I had known this would be the last time I heard you [/align]

[align=center]If I had know this was the last time I played with you 
If I known this would be the last time I felt your heart beat 
I would had made it last a little longer 
If I had known 

If I had known you would never cuddle with me again 
If I had known you would leave this life so soon 
If I had known I would never see your ears perk up again 
If I had known you would never know that other people could be kind 
If I had known you would never be full grown 
If I had known this would be your last breath 
If I had known you were about to leave this life 
I would have made your life a little better 
If I had known 

Now I know that you are at the rainbow bridge 
Now I know you are playing with others 
Now I know that I will see you again 
Now I know you will always be a part of me 
Now I know that you and I loved each other dearly 
Now I know that you will be healthy and whole 
Now I know I did the best I could to make your life luxury and love you 
Now you are in god's hands in a throne waiting for me to join you again 
Now I know 
My heart can rest 

In memory ofWilliam [/align]


----------



## AngelnSnuffy (May 31, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss...

RIP little sweet boy:sad:! We'll miss you William!


----------



## pinksalamander (May 31, 2008)

Thanks for all your concern guys. I just woke up and i feel alot better although still sad.

The worst thing is i've just looked at that picture and i can see that was the beginning of the end. I can see the way he is sorta slipping, he would never usually sit like that. I wish i'd noticed a problem sooner so i could've done something, but then everything always makes sense in hindsight.

At least i don't have anything to do today. I'm planning to eat alot of chocolate and watch films in bed all day. I really should get Lottie in!


----------



## Michaela (May 31, 2008)

Oh my goodness, Fran I just saw this, I am so so sorry . :tears2:

I felt exactly the same as you when I lost Berri, Pebble, Topsy and Mitten, it's the most difficult thing to lose them. For a while I was sure I didn't want anymore animals ever, but eventually I changed my mind, I think the happiness they bring us when they are here is worth the pain of losing them. :hug:

Crying helps, well it helped me, I cried for 2 days straight when Pebble died, cried until I was sick and couldn't cry anymore, but it was how I dealt with it, much better than what I did when Berri died - bottled it up for ages - you really should try to not do that. 

Will had a *wonderful* life with you, you loved him so much. Binky free William. :rainbow:


----------



## pinksalamander (May 31, 2008)

Thanks. We are going to B&Q today, my Mum has always wanted a fruit tree in our garden so we are planting one just above where he was buried, so he can contribute to growing us lovely fruit that Lottie and us can enjoy  :hearts :brownbunny


----------



## Michaela (May 31, 2008)

Aww that'll be a really nice memorial for him. :big kiss:


----------



## Bassetluv (May 31, 2008)

Oh no...I just went to your blog a few moments ago and when I saw your last post, was in shock. I'm so sorry that you lost William. It hurts so terribly to lose them, especially when it wasn't expected; and many times I expressed the same thing as you...that putting one's heart into loving an animal, only to lose them all too soon, is just too painful, and I would vow to never have another. But time does help with the pain, and you will find that throughout your life there will be those who are drawn to you, either because they are in need, or perhaps you are in need and they come to help you...or both. 

As I sit here typing this I had the oddest sense that William knew he had to leave, and he guided you to Lottie, as he knew you would need her, just as she needed a loving home. I believe she was his gift to you for loving him so deeply.

Binkie free, William...you'll have some pretty neat friends over there at the Bridge, all waiting to play and laze in the sun and munch on the tall, cool grass... 

(((Hugs))) to you, pinksalamander...:hug2:


----------



## Dublinperky (May 31, 2008)

I am so sorry! I cried reading his story even though I didn't really know him. Rest in peace William.:bunny5


----------



## tonyshuman (May 31, 2008)

I'm so sorry. It must be even more difficult to lose him so suddenly. I think your idea of burying him under the fruit tree is very sweet. Hugs to you, your family, and Lottie.
:rainbow:ink iris:

PS it might not be bad to take her to the vet--she may be carrying something from the shelter that made William sick. Also, like Haley said, there might be some poisonous plants around. :hug:


----------



## pla725 (May 31, 2008)

It is easy to cast blame. I went through this recently withthe loss of Peter. I was so focused on my own human problems and Smitten's illness that I failed to see Pete was sick. I'm starting to reconcile myself to the fact that it wasn't my fault or Smitten's. I didn't really even blame her. Time does heal.

Sorry for your loss. William could have had something going on and just could no longer hide his illness. Rabbits do that.


----------



## mouse_chalk (May 31, 2008)

Oh my gosh, I just saw this... I was reading through Peg's thread and had to do a double take when I saw what she mentioned about Will...

I read your blog a few days ago and thought what a lovely cute bunny he was. I don't think I got round to commenting, but it's true, he was gorgeous.:hug:

I'm so sorry, what a terrible and sudden loss. It must be so painful, I can't imagine... Binky free William, you were very much loved and cared for, and will be very much missed...

:rainbow:

Jen xxink iris:


----------



## JimD (Jun 1, 2008)

i'm so sorry 

ray::rainbow:


----------



## juliew19673 (Jun 1, 2008)

I LOVE The tree idea!!! Thats brilliant and very sweet (chocked me up when reading that)..


----------



## Mikoli (Jun 2, 2008)

The same thing happened to my bunny. It's absolutely horrible when they just slip away. I cried, I screamed, I beat my head against the wall. And then I accepted it. All within a day or two. Because he was happy when he died. He died straight after I let him run around in the backyard for the last time. I thought he was getting better. But he wasn't. But there was nothing more I could have done, and I guess it was just his time.

I read this last week. Pat posted it, on the second page. It made me cry all over again.

_ No tears of sorrow did he shed,
There were not sins to be forgiven,
He closed his eyes,and went to sleep,
And opened them in heaven._


----------



## BSAR (Jun 2, 2008)

That is horrible. it must have been awful to hold him when he was cold. 

Rest in Peace William. 

ink iris::rip:


----------



## pinksalamander (Jun 2, 2008)

I've now learnt the importance of keeping a hot water bottle in our house - i've never had one so we had to borrow it to keep him warm!

A few days have passed now. I'm still horribly upset but i do feel loads better. I feel quite good actually. When i wrote that it was about 20 minutes after he had died. 

Today me and my Mum were discussing maybe getting another rabbit. I know it is soon but it wouldn't be for quite a while. I was saying that i didn't want Lottie to be alone all her life like William was. We will probably be looking into another rescue rabbit in the next few months.

Thanks everyone :group:

Fran  :hearts :brownbunny


----------



## Haley (Jun 5, 2008)

Oh Fran, I am so sorry to hear this awful news. I was just thinking I wanted to check William's blog to see how he was doing...I had no clue 

He was a beautiful boy and Im sure he knew how much you loved him every day. You treated him like a little prince- he was so lucky to know you.

Youre in my thoughts and prayers. 

*hugs*

Haley


----------



## bunbunbinkie (Jun 5, 2008)

I am so very sorry to hear this, Fran. I didn't really know You or William, but I can tell he was a much loved bunny. Your story touched my heart, and the little poems and quotes that everyone wrote made me cry. I lost my dear Ollie a few months ago, so quickly...like the way you lost William. It was a helpless, gut wrenching, broken hearted feeling and I hope that you find yourself healing soon.

Binkie Free, William bun bun... you may wait at the rainbow bridge, but your life here on earth lives on inside the hearts of those who loved you most.:rainbow::bunnyangel2:


----------



## cheryl (Jun 6, 2008)

I'm so very sorry to hear this sad news...William was just such an adorable little boy

Rest in peace little one

Cheryl


----------

