# Please Hope For A Miracle...



## irishbunny (Mar 6, 2009)

My nana has only a few weeks to live, she had a stroke a couple of weeks ago that was caused by a brain bleed, it looked like she was getting better but since Tuesday she had been having bleeds and losing blood, she's having them a couple times a day now and they have only given her a couple of weeks to live, but she could pass any minute, I'm devasted I don't know how I'm going to live with it, I'm going to see her tomorrow, it will probably be the last time so I have to say goodbye....
Please hope for a miracle I can't deal with this.


----------



## irishlops (Mar 6, 2009)

omg! grace, im sorry.
i will light a candle each day for her.
and pray for a miricle. but god might want her, as she must be a very nice gran, so if gods wants her, in the painfree heaven let him.
but i dont want god to take her as much as you do.
ray:


----------



## Flashy (Mar 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry. It so hard to lose someone you love. Make sure you keep talking. Don't keep anything inside, because it will make things harder for you.

Please know I'm thinking of you despite having no useful words to say.

x


----------



## irishlops (Mar 6, 2009)

flashy/tracey.
i have felt like i did not talk and did not sya things aswell.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 6, 2009)

Thanks all, I kind off don't want to don't see her because she's all sick, she's still awake and can talk but I'm kind of scared to see her but I'll regret not going to see her if she passes, I hate this.


----------



## Sabine (Mar 6, 2009)

Sorry to hear about your gran. Nothing really prepares us for loosing someone close to us. Wish i had better words of comfort.... xx


----------



## Saffy (Mar 6, 2009)

Please .. dont be scared to see her ..


----------



## Lover_Of_Lopz (Mar 6, 2009)

I lost my grate gran 3 years ago I did not know her that well and it still hurt me I feel so sorry for you and I will pray 
God be with you and her.:hug:So...:hug2:sorry...:cry4::bigtears:


----------



## Numbat (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm so sorry! *hugs* 

Go and see her, she'll appreciate it. It's so hard to lose someone you love but she'll always be with you in your memories. Thinking of you. :hug2:


----------



## Bunnys_rule63 (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear about your Gran.If it's any consolation I'm in a similar boat. My Grandpa is fading fast and I really want to go see him before it's too late...but...it's tough.

Sending many hugs to you my dear.:hug:


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 7, 2009)

I am sorry to hear that she is not doing well. I know how hard it is (I lost my grandma a few years back). :hug:

Honestly, go see her. Even if you are terrified to, do it anyway. You may be super-depressed about it now, but you will cherish those memories later on. Try to go see her as much as you can. You will feel better about it later on.

I work in a nursing home, and the people on hospice (end-of-life) care are so lonely. They just want someone to talk to. It makes me so mad when someone's loved one is going and they won't come to visit them. It is comforting to know that someone is there for them, you know? I think it makes some people's passing easier and more peaceful for them. That's just my two cents.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 8, 2009)

Thanks I went to see her yesterday, she has gotten alot thinner, she used to be the cheery plump old lady type. I didn't really know what to talk about with her so I just kind of went along with what my dad was saying to her, plus her speech is mumbly and I couldn't hear her from where I was standing. It was really sad to see her like that.


----------



## Saffy (Mar 8, 2009)

I'm really really glad you went to see her you know. You wont regret it, I promise you. 

It's horrible seeing someone who has been so much a part of your life, start to show frailty .. frightening for you, because you know that your nan isn't invincible .. (we always seem to think Nannie and Gramp's are when we are young). 

I'm sure she will have been so glad to have had you visit - and I've said before, I can promise you will have been glad too. 

(hugs from me)


----------



## paul2641 (Mar 8, 2009)

Irishbunny I'm sorry to hear this, This happened to my grandmother but she didn't tell any of the family she only had a few weeks to live so we just lost her.I am ray: She lives a good last few weeks.


----------



## Elf Mommy (Mar 8, 2009)

*irishbunny wrote: *


> Thanks I went to see her yesterday, she has gotten alot thinner, she used to be the cheery plump old lady type. I didn't really know what to talk about with her so I just kind of went along with what my dad was saying to her, plus her speech is mumbly and I couldn't hear her from where I was standing. It was really sad to see her like that.


Do you have a book of photographs that you could sit next to her and look at together?

Do you know what her favorite type of book was to read, that you can sit and read to her? 

Does she like to have her hair brushed/combed?

I'm just making suggestions. I'm really really bad about older people. My sister is awesome. My daughter is great, too. She would crawl right up in bed with my grandmother when she was in the nursing home. I had a difficult time just being in the room. 

I hope you're able to spend some time with her.


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 8, 2009)

Another thing that I thought of. When my grandmother was dying, I asked her to help me fill-in blanks on the family tree. She was able to give me two generations before her mother/father. It was very interesting and she seemed to enjoy thinking about her loved ones. It kind of seemed therapeutic. 

Even when people are sick or slowly fading, they are still people. Even if they cannot talk, they can most likely understand you and comprehend what you say. Even people in a coma have been known to be aware of their surroundings. It does them a world of good to just have company, even if you have nothing interesting to say. Bring up pets, school, anything. Talk to them like you would a friend. You'll find that you don't run out of things to say. 

:hug:


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 8, 2009)

Thanks all, I don't know when I will be able to go see her again but hopefully soon, I'm not too sure if she would be able to do much with me like look at stuff and things because she's always really tired and most of the time she has her eyes closed and falls asleep alot. I think mostly people just sit and talk to her, we have to be careful what we say around her because she doesn't know she's so sick and still talks about going home which is sad.


----------



## JadeIcing (Mar 8, 2009)

*hugs* Not easy. My family knows I will see you at home but not in the hospital. If you are awake I will go once and that is all. They also know I won't go to a burial or funeral. I don't deal well with hospitals. 

I have worked with the elderly and love it but it is not an easy job. It was like having a ton of grandparents and losing them again and again.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 12, 2009)

Thought I would update on my nana, well she had a doctor come around to check on her today and they are going to get her physio (sp), even thought they don't know if it will do much good, since her whole left side is paralysed. But that must be good right? I mean they wouldn't send someone for physio if they didn't think they had a chance of life? 
They also said they don't know now how long she has, if she continues to have no more bleeds then she shouldn't die but she has had two strokes now and a couple of bleeds so they could just start up again at anytime. 
I guess now it's just a waiting game.


----------



## irishlops (Mar 12, 2009)

my granny was in a coma, so i guess i dont know about the phisyo (sp?) but i think its good.
if i was off 2morrow i would get the bus up to your house.
to give you a hug.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 12, 2009)

Thank you  That's sweet


----------



## bat42072 (Mar 12, 2009)

make sure u see her... I didn't get to see my maw maw before she died because my aunt moved her out of the state. we were not that close since my father was in the air force and we moved all over the place... but it hurt really bad when i didn't get to see her... I will always regret not finding away to see her


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 12, 2009)

Ya I saw her last Saturday and I'm going again this Saturday


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 12, 2009)

I am glad to hear that you are still going to see her. It is hard, but you will not regret it in the future.  I bet that she loves having you there.

When you say Physio, do you mean like physical therapy? I am not familiar with the term "Physio"...


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 12, 2009)

Ya physical therapy, to try and get some movement back in her left arm and leg, she must be doing good if they are sending her for that, I mean, why would they if she didn't have long left?


----------



## Sabine (Mar 12, 2009)

I would certainly see it as a good sign. If they had given up on her they sure wouldn't bother. She may still have some quality time of life left


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 12, 2009)

That is definitely a good sign. For people in the nursing home where I work, they abandon any restorative care if the person is on hospice/end-of-life care. If they have awhile to live, they will continue with therapy. That is good that they are working to get her mobility back!


----------



## DeniseJP (Mar 12, 2009)

*irishbunny wrote: *


> Ya I saw her last Saturday and I'm going again this Saturday



Oh, I am glad to hear that. You never know - your presence may be enough to help her be strong.

My Grammy fought lung cancer for 8 years and many surgeries and the cancer finally took her down but I went to see her in the hospital as tough as it was. I am glad that I did. She fought hard for a month once the cancer spread to her brain - it was sad to see her shaking uncontrollably, but my Grammy was behind the green eyes. She died November 21, 1986 and I still miss her. Her grandfather was from County Cork and she enjoyed visiting there - she always said when she got well she would take me there but unfortunately she passed.

When my Gig (I couldn't say Grandpa) was dying from heart failure a few years later, I made sure I played gin rummy (cards) with him - he loved the game and would always beat me but I have no regrets... except we did not have more time together and that he could have seen my sons - he would have enjoyed playing golf with my oldest and would have laughed at the antics of my youngest.

Mercy (my miniature horse) and I visit nursing homes on a volunteer basis and even when the elderly do not speak or respond during our visits, I get the sense that they appreciate the effort. One gentleman I remembervery well- he had a stroke and was mentally challenged and did not speak but when he got to pet Mercy, he began to make noises and his gnarled hands buried in her mane. His aides almost cried as they said he was very happy and they had not heard him make the noise he was making in quite some time. We have been told by folks recovering from hip replacements who are in nursing homes that we have no idea how much they appreciate the visits.

Another lady was having a birthday on the day we visited - she also had had several strokes and was bedridden and could not speak. Her children asked that I bring Mercy up to her bedside and her nurse helped her pet Mercy's nose. She managed to smile and her son explained that she was a horsewoman back in her day and that the visit could not have been better timed.

So, in my long, rambling way, I am saying please visit your nana...if she likes rabbits and you have one that will tolerate a visit, see if the medical staff will allow a visit...I am a firm believer in the healing powers of animals...the crew of critters I have here gives me a reason to greet the day happily, even post surgery, when I am ill or depressed.

Hugs to you:hug1

Denise


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 12, 2009)

*DeniseJP wrote: *


> I am a firm believer in the healing powers of animals...the crew of critters I have here gives me a reason to greet the day happily, even post surgery, when I am ill or depressed.


There are a lot of things backing up animal-healing. The nursing home where I work has the "Eden" mindset, where they allow children to frequently visit (like field trips from their school) as well as allow plants and animals into the resident's lives. On the memory care floor where I work, there is an African Gray Parrot named Moses and a Cockatiel named Bean. On the long-term care floor, there are two cats and more birds. One of the residents on the floor where I work has a neighbor that brings her two Great Danes in to visit. The dogs are taller than the lady in the wheelchair!

I also am a firm believer in animal therapy/healing!


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 13, 2009)

She died this morning, she was just talking to the nurses and closed her eyes and she was gone.


----------



## Flashy (Mar 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry Grace.

Please know if you need to talk you can poke me on msn or PM me.

Thinking of you and your family.

x


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 13, 2009)

Thanks, they say she had another massive stroke, she looks awful. I'm just sitting here trying to keep busy, if I keep busy then I won't have to think about it too much, just have to keep going.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 13, 2009)

We are having her wake tonight, plenty of laughter and tears tonight, God I wish I had seen her again before she went, I miss her so much.


----------



## Sabine (Mar 13, 2009)

Just saw the letter you posted on your blog. Still bawling crying over it. I am sure your gran died knowing she was loved.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 13, 2009)

I really hope so


----------



## bat42072 (Mar 14, 2009)

I am so sorry about your grandma... you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...
sending you hugs...
Becky


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 14, 2009)

Thanks xx


----------



## coolbunnybun (Mar 14, 2009)

I cried when i read your posts irishbunny. I will pray for you. Sorry for your loss.


----------



## Becca (Mar 14, 2009)

So sorry Gracie 

I read through this thread, super sad at the beginning for you, then I really thought things were looking up when you said about the physio, it was such a shock 

My PM Box is open, and MSN - anytime you want to chat 

[BIG HUG]


----------



## Saffy (Mar 14, 2009)

Am so sorry to hear about your Nan. xxx I'm thinking of you.


----------



## irishlops (Mar 14, 2009)

grace, what is your address????
im off school on monday sunday and st. pats day.
i might be able to come if you want me to. if not, its ook.
PM me


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 14, 2009)

Thanks guys, don't worry about it Irishlops, I'll be fine. Doctors say she had a huge brain bleed, like another stroke and they were very surprised that that happened and that she died. She is probably better off, as if she was alive she could be facing another 5 or 10 years just in a bed in a nursing home, and that's not what she wanted, everyday while she was ill she talked about going home. Plus she missed my grandad, terribly, and was never the same again. We brought her home for the last time last night and had a wake. Tonight though, was the hardest night because we had to say good bye one last time before they put the top on her coffin forever. I just touched her hands and said goodbye.

We decided to pass her house on the way to the church, just for one last time for her. Tomorrow is going to be a long and hard day because we have the main funeral mass and then we really have to say goodbye forever when she's buried. It's a nightmare.


----------



## Sabine (Mar 14, 2009)

I think a wake is a great way of saying good bye to a loved one. All family of mine that died just were gone and that was that. You get no time to start the grieving process properly, in fact i remember often not being able to believe they had gone. i think it's important for the living to see death as a part of life.


----------



## kherrmann3 (Mar 14, 2009)

I am sorry to hear that she passed. It sounds like it was very peaceful. That can be a godsend in itself. It is hard to lose a loved one. :hug: I am sorry.


----------



## irishlops (Mar 15, 2009)

*irishbunny wrote: *


> Thanks guys, don't worry about it Irishlops, I'll be fine. Doctors say she had a huge brain bleed, like another stroke and they were very surprised that that happened and that she died. She is probably better off, as if she was alive she could be facing another 5 or 10 years just in a bed in a nursing home, and that's not what she wanted, everyday while she was ill she talked about going home. Plus she missed my grandad, terribly, and was never the same again. We brought her home for the last time last night and had a wake. Tonight though, was the hardest night because we had to say good bye one last time before they put the top on her coffin forever. I just touched her hands and said goodbye.
> 
> We decided to pass her house on the way to the church, just for one last time for her. Tomorrow is going to be a long and hard day because we have the main funeral mass and then we really have to say goodbye forever when she's buried. It's a nightmare.


i guess its better she went. like you said. quick peaceful.
i know when you say she missed your grandad.
my grandad si here. he goes to the grave oof my gran every day. rain, sun or snow.
its ok about the me coming up. i dont think i would be wanted. i was really a stranger! lol.
ray: for you


----------



## anneq (Mar 15, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss - it is so hard to lose someone you love so dearly, but as time goes on, and you remember all the wonderful things you shared...each time,the pain will ease just a bit more, and the laughter will mix with tears..you will never be the same for loving her, and that is how it's supposed to be - and who knows..one day in the future, because of what you experienced now, you will be a source of comfort for someone else who needs a strong shoulder to lean on in the pain and sadness.
God bless you and your family
Your gram is at peace, in God's love


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 15, 2009)

This is me, my Grandad and Nana during some of the best years of my life.


----------



## Sabine (Mar 15, 2009)

They look like such kind loving people. i am sure you treasure the time you had with them.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 16, 2009)

Thanks they were


----------



## JadeIcing (Mar 16, 2009)

I am so sorry.


----------



## pumpkinandwhiskersmom (Mar 16, 2009)

Grace,
I'm so sorry about your nana. I'm so glad that you got to see her, and that she didn't suffer at the very end. I'm sure it was hard enough on everyone for the weeks before her death. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come....btw, you have an awesome name...
Sincerely,
Grace(!)


----------



## tonyshuman (Mar 16, 2009)

I'm so sorry. I lost my grandpa to something similar when I was around your age too. It sounds like she had a wonderful, full life, surrounded by people who loved her dearly. Please talk to us or anyone about it if you want to talk. It's so good that you got to see her while she was in the hospital so that you know just how much suffering she was released from when she died. I never visited my grandpa while he was dying in the hospital, so I didn't realize how ill he was when he died, and how it was a relief for him to finally pass on. Huge hugs to you and your family.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 16, 2009)

Thanks all, I'm feeling a little better once all the funeral stuff was over, it's always the hardest. We went to visit her and Grandad's grave today and we drove past their house on the way home, it felt weird to see the house, it looked so dark and lonely for a house that was once so vibrant and always had people coming and going.

By the way you have an awesome name too Grace


----------



## anneq (Mar 16, 2009)

Aww Grace, your gran has such a sweet looking face - you do know how blessed you are to have had her in your life?

My oldest daughter (now 18yrs old) was very, very close to her grammie - it was so hard for her when she died - we were able to go to the memorial and funeral and even though it was tearful at the funeral, at the memorial when people came to visit her at - was beautiful how many of her friends and all of her family (5 sons, 1 daughter and scores of grandchildren) came to pay their last respects...it was awe-inspiring for me..she lived a good life, always tried to help people who were in need, loved most to have all her children visit and to be able to fix a meal for them...I can see that the love she gave her children, and her grandchildren, lives on in their hearts...she will always be remembered with tenderness.

I think the same will be true for you and your nan - love never dies..it lives on in our hearts and in our spirit - and it touches so many people beyond what we could ever imagine.


----------



## irishbunny (Mar 16, 2009)

Thanks for that , both my grand parents were great, my Grandad wasn't the typical Irish man in that he helped my Nana around the house and did alot for her, usually in the old days the women cooked and cleaned the house but my Grandad always helped my Nana out. I can remember when I was small him washing dishes and he used to always make us breakfast in bed .

The priest who did the mass knew my Nana and described her as a woman with a deep, quiet faith who lived for her family, and that is exactly what she was like. She lived for my Grandad though, and after he died she wasn't quite the same, I think she could have been a bit depressed, but she still was cheery and loveable, my Grandad died in 2004.


----------



## anneq (Mar 16, 2009)

Ah well, it's wonderful to know they're together again now..and for all time


----------

