# Carmel & Charlie



## lagadvocate (Jun 27, 2007)

Here is my sweet girl Carmel - Mix breedof pure bunny love









And nowthe cutie pie Charlie bun - Holland Lop

This pic is the one I found on the Humane Society's website and he immediately tugged at my heart strings:


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## myLoki (Jun 27, 2007)

OOOO beautiful babies!!!! Carmel is such a beautiful color! And I loooooove Charlie. I have a soft spot for torts. Wonder why?


t.


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## Haley (Jun 27, 2007)

aww they are adorable! Are they bonded?


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## buck rogers (Jun 28, 2007)

Your Carmel looks just like my Murphy!!! Really exquisite buns!


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## lagadvocate (Jun 28, 2007)

Thank you! Of course I can't take credit for their cuteness .

They're not bonded yet, we'll be starting that in a couple of weeks (it will be 3 weeks from when Charlie was neutered). So hopefully they will be a match...Carmel really loved her former bondmate, Buddy ATB, and mourned pretty hard after he passed. Buddy and Carmel were bonded while they were bothyoung. Carmel's 5 now andCharlie is estimated at 4. But if the bonding doesn't eventually take that's ok, we have enough room for them to live and romp separately. 

I do hope they bond though! I don't think Charlie has experienced another bunny before, the Humane Society didn't know--the info they had was that he is friendly (very true) and does ok with cats and dogs. Well we have no cats and dogs, just Carmel and I fear she may be a tough nut to crack. She bonded very strongly with me after Buddy passed which was a surprise because she didn't have much to do with me while Buddy was alive. 

Now she follows me around and hops onto the couch with me for snuggles. She is well aware of Charlie's presence here though, and has shown some agression when she is allowed near the outside of his pen. But she seems torn, because sometimes she'll pace and box and other times she'll bunny flop beside the bars. But we have it so Charlie can have privacy from her. Charlie doesn't mind when Carmel is allowed to approach his pen for a bit, he's curious and then goes about eating some hay!


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## ~Bracon~ (Jun 28, 2007)

There both sooooo cute


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## LuvaBun (Jun 28, 2007)

Adorable babies! I hope the bonding works out - they will make such a cute couple 

Jan


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## lagadvocate (Jul 9, 2007)

Charlie's New Steps

Oh my goodness, what a few weeks it's been! Charlie has settled quite comfortably into life with us. I still can't believe what a social and cuddly bun he is. My other buns alwaysloved their snuggle petting time, but this little guy always stakes a claim next to us on the couch and tucks himself against us for some good ear massages! I definitely had a light bulb moment the other day though. 

I noticed that when Charlie was let out for his run time, he would binky all over the place and then pace back and forth in front of the couch before he finally hurled himself up there. Then he would remain on the couch for the rest of the time. I thought he might be a couch potato. But then, when it was time for his salad, he wouldn't come down. I could tell he wanted to, but would just notjump down--I always had to lift him down.

Enter the "light bulb". Carmel is a large bunny with long, strong legs and her hops and jumps are always graceful and done with ease. My atb bun, Buddy, was a Holland Lop like Charlie but he never had trouble with the couch. But, Charlie is smaller and stubbier than Buddy. So I realized that it took great effort for Charlie to jump onto the couch and he couldn't muster the courage to get down. So I went out and bought a set of those "Deluxe Doggy Steps". They are made so that small or older dogs can access couches, beds, etc... We put them together and placed it against the couch. YUP! That was the problem. Now Charlie is constantly using the steps to get on and off the couch. Poor little guy, sometimes his Momma can be a bit slow to catch on.:dunno:


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## Leslie102 (Jul 9, 2007)

Awww. That was so sweet of u to buy those steps for Charlie! He looks just like my Oscar!! Your buns sound as though they love you so much!! The're really lucky to have you! Congrats on the new stairs and good luck with the bonding when u begin


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## JadeIcing (Jul 9, 2007)

Nice blog. 



Could you please break up your paragraphs its hard to read like that.


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## Bunnicula (Jul 9, 2007)

Awesome idea with the steps.

It's funny how bunnies differ. All of our bunnies are Holland Lops, but their agility and courage all differ.

Emmaline has NO FEAR and has been known to scale some amazing heights. Gingivere can jump onto anything but refuses to walk on the linoleum in the kitchen/dining area while the other buns race across it. Pipkin will hop on and off anything...except our bed. Once he is up there he will not jump down. Go figure!

I wish they all could talk and explain themselves. I may have to go out an get a set of those steps for our guys...actually the older cats would appreciate them, too.

Looking forward to hearing how the bonding sessions go!


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## LuvaBun (Jul 9, 2007)

Great idea on the steps - nice to see that Charlie has got you trained into knowing what he wants 

Jan


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## lagadvocate (Jul 17, 2007)

Bonding Blues

Well, bonding has been going badly. Carmel is being very aggressive to Charlie . In each past session she will get near him and as quick as lightening she will bite his nose and growl. My husband and I are right there so most times she is unable to land the bite. Charlie is not aggressive AT ALL. He doesn't seem to know much about rabbit protocol, but he does seem to be developing a fear of Carmel which is bad. He doesn't get mad when Carmel is mean, he just sits there and takes it and hides next to me.

I cannot in good conscience continue putting him through this. We've stopped the bonding for now. We built Charlie a huge pen in the living room with a long cardboard tube (which he loves) and many toys, boxes, pet bed, etc... He likes it alot better. He doesn't come out right away for his run time, but instead prefers to stay in his mansion . We had to take a lot of precautionary measures to keep Carmel from biting through the bars or jumping over the pen. In the end, it kind of looks like Fort Knox! Funny how his pen was really created not to keep him in, but to keep her out.

So, right now we are at a stand still. We think that the territory that we have for bonding sessions is just not neutral enough, so we will wait for the cool weather of Fall to start using the car to transport them to a family member's house. But in all honesty, I don't know if this will work. They may just have to remain separate. I'm definitely frustrated with Carmel's obnoxious behavior, but still try to show her a ton of love so that she knows she's not being ousted here.

She spends most of her time standing guard outside of Charlie's pen. First I thought "Awww, she wants to be close to him". Now I know that she's just there to make sure he doesn't get out, and if he does she'll be waiting to pounce. What a meanie! But now that she can't get to him through his bars, I find Charlie standing inside his pen facing her as if to say "HA HA you big freak, you can't get me!"

Now I know why Carmel's former bondmate, Buddy, always mounted her at least once a day. They were very bonded and loving but Buddy knew that he had to keep Miss Attitude in line! Sure wish Buddy could've given old Charlie some pointers.:?

Anyway, tommorrow is picture day since I got new batteries for my camera! We'll see if I get any good shots.


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## lagadvocate (Jul 17, 2007)

Handsome boy!!








He is hard to get a good picture of...










He looks like he's ready to charge me, better stop bothering him with the "photo shoot"


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## lagadvocate (Jul 25, 2007)

Wacky Wabbits

Carmel has launched an all out territorial poo war. She had been beautifully litter trained and still is for her potty, but she has strategically dropped her poo bombs in an attempt to firmly claim the living room. She drops them in the exact same spots everyday. I pick them up, and she provides fresh ones. 

Funny, because this is a one sided battle. Charlie could not care less (all he cares about right now is his litterbox excavation). And of course he is the onefor whom she is doing this. 

Sheknows when I'mabout to put her in thehallway forCharlie's run time. Shefrantically but methodically moves through the living room to make sure all of her warnings are in place.

Since bonding isonhold for right now, there isn'tmuch I can do except stay on poo patrol. I sure amthankful that bun poo is not like dog poo!:bunnybutt:


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## binkies (Jul 26, 2007)

Hahahaha! I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. The way you worded it made it funny. And you are sooooo right, dog poo isn't fun at all! My pom marks with poo when new animals come in (dog rescue foster mom here). She's so funny, she forces every last bit she can get out.


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## Raspberry82 (Jul 27, 2007)

Aww.. hahah. That is pretty funny, the extent Carmel goes to to tell Charlie whats what. Sorry to chuckle, but yeah, thank goodness they're little hard balls that are pretty odorless, huh?! She sounds like quite an opinionated little miss!  Charlie sounds like a super sweeeetie!


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## Raspberry82 (Jul 27, 2007)

I forgot to mention I really like your blog!


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## kathy5 (Jul 30, 2007)

hello

your bun bun are very sweet

is the bunny in your avtar yours as well

it is so very cute


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## ellissian (Jul 30, 2007)

I've got to say your avatar has to be the cutest I've seen.


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## lagadvocate (Aug 2, 2007)

Oh for the love of pete!!!

Well, the poo wars continue onwithout fail.:banghead

And as it turns out, there was a breach in Charlie's security that I was unaware of. I mean, his pen is built like Fort Knox but leave it to the Poo Lord to figure out an access point. She didn't get inside, but she found a spot where thepanels that cover the bottom of the pen were too close to the actual pen. So little "be my friend" Charlie had apparently approched that spot and presented his poor little head to Carmel. 

I found a small pile of his fur and he's got some bald spots on his forehead. THANK God she didn't get his eye (too close). Poor Charlie, and for cryin' out loud, Carmel is a tyrant! She is constantly ready for any opportunity to wreak havoc. See pic below:









So anyway, Ifixed the breach and all is well in the kingdom.....for now rivateeyes


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## lagadvocate (Aug 6, 2007)

Power Outage (GRRRRR!)

Friday evening we had some pretty severe storms. And of course the power went out :grumpy:. It happened at about 9pm so at least it wasn't during the heat of the day. Still, I watched Carmel and Charlie closely for heat prostration. We (of course) didn't have any bottles of water frozen, so we bought some ice and I filled my stainless steel mixing bowls with it. The bowls have lids so I could flip them over creatinga nice cold dome for the buns to use. I also filled up some freezer zip lock bags with ice too.

Carmel doesn't like to use the cold stuff so I kept a close eye on her. Charlie, on the other hand, was sprawled out across the zip lock bag with his head resting on the "dome o' ice". We were prepared to go to a family member's house if the temp rose too high.

Thepower came back on after about 5 hours. Since it was the middle of the night, the temp never got too bad. Of course, today the power went out AGAIN! The electric company said it was a device malfunction, whatever that means. It was late afternoonand the tempwas risingquickly. We were preparing to leave when the power came on. Only about two hours this time. Our car doesn't have a/c so the transport could have been bad too.

Irealized that I really wasn't prepared for this. So I've decided to get a couple of "Pack and Play" collapsable playpens. Then if we have to pack up and go, it will be easy to set the buns up in someone else's house.

Summer makes me nuts! :banghead


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## JadeIcing (Aug 6, 2007)

I still love this blog. Poo wars suck!


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## lagadvocate (Aug 19, 2007)

Well now that the harness disaster is behind us, Carmel has been coming around more and more each day. I am definitely anti-harness now. Charlie remains un-fazed by the whole ordeal. 

Carmel is somehow managing to chew/pull out Charlie's butt fur. I cannot for the life of me figure out how she's doing it. ullhair: But every morning Charlie's butt looks like a ruffled skirt and there's a little pile of fur lying near the bars of his pen. I've adjusted his pen so many times to keep Carmel from getting to him, but I think I may just have to tear the whole thing down and re build it!

On a side note....I've never met a bunny who wasn't scared or at least leery of a vacuum cleaner. Today I had to really deep clean Charlie's pen. He is always right underfoot when I clean his space, but today I took everything out and went in with the vacuum. Charlie got sobotched upabout where his stuff went that he actually charged the vacuum! I was surprised to say the least...the vacuum suffered no serious injuries. 






Mr. Ruffley Butt


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## lagadvocate (Aug 27, 2007)

I think that Charlie is amazing. Last night, while I was lying on the couch, little man made his usual trek up his stairs, over my belly, and into the crook of my arm. He nuzzled down against me (he always likes to be firmly pressed against me for pets) and I went about giving him a 45 minute ear/head massage.

As I felt his little purrs of contentment and his periodic thank you licks, I wondered again where this little guy came from. The shelter did not have much information about him, other than they thought he was 4 years old and that he likes to play with balls (no he doesn't BTW).

He is just so sweet and loving. He had to have come from someone who was good to him I think. Yes, he does love being in his pen for privacy, but he also loves spending time on the couch with me. This guy was socialized before he came here...he had to be. And then I wonder, why did his former owner give him up? He is just so wonderful...yes he is a carpet puller but other than that he is a genuine snuggle bunny.

My other buns were with me since they were babies, so I know how they were raised and how they came to be such awesome rabbits. I am just a ponderer (is that a word?) and just wonder about Charlie's past, what his life was like, what his human was like, etc. But I'll probably never know...and he's not talkin'. I am so glad that this little bun came into our lives. 


[align=center]:hearts :hearts:hearts:hearts:hearts:hearts:hearts:hearts[/align]


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## lagadvocate (Sep 25, 2007)

x-treme close-ups!






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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## Leslie102 (Sep 25, 2007)

This is one of my favourite blogs! Charlie is such a cutie, he sounds just like my Oscar. I have a soft spot for Caramel too, she looks just like my nephew Murphy!(buck rogers bun) I like Charlie's set up it looks really nice! I also really like the name Charlie! Did he come with that name or did u chose it?


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## HoneyPot (Sep 25, 2007)

Your Caramel and Charlie sound just like my Misty and Charlie when I first brought Charlie home. Misty guraded his pen and tried to get him through the bars every chance she got. It took my 5 months to get them to like each other, so there is still hope!!

My breakthroughs came with car rides - a car ride, then time together. Eventually she would just flop out near his cage (like Caramel is doing in that one picture). Thay's actually a really good sign that she doesn't feel threatened by him. Is she still trying to get him through the bars?

I'd say give it some time and they might bond without you even realizing it. 



Great blog!

opcorn2

________________
Nadia


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## lagadvocate (Sep 26, 2007)

Aww, thanks Leslie and Nadia for the compliments on my blog! :bunny24

Leslie102 wrote:


> I also really like the name Charlie! Did he come with that name or did u chose it?


Thanks! Actually, his name was Benjamin at the humane society but he just didn't seem like a Benjamin....while I was waiting for them to neuter him, the name Charlie popped into my head and I knew that was it!

Nadia, I'll definitely be trying the car rides once we start up bonding again (we'rewaiting until Charlie is over his syphilis infection), I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Carmel has been leaving his fur alone (for now) but I have hispen pretty well guarded against herattacks!  She can definitely be 9 pounds of fury when she wants to be!

Carmel hasgotten back to her old lovey self toward me. I actually got that close-up pic of her while I was sitting on the floor and she was licking my leg andnosing for some pets! :hearts:


couple more pics....

"Uh oh, she's got that camera again"








Pretty girl pose








"Geez, can't a bun get a little privacy?!"


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## lagadvocate (Sep 28, 2007)

*My Girl*

Carmel is so special. I cannot believe that this is the same rabbitwho spent 4 years so closely bonded with Buddy that sheutterly ignored me.

My medical problems seem to be piling up even more. So many tests, so much medication...it takes a toll. How amazing that Carmel seems to know that I'm not doing so good.

In the middle of the night, when the house is quiet, hubby is sound asleep. I am awake and in pain in the bathroom. Again. But I am not alone. Carmel comes; every night. She plays in my bathrobe for a bit then settles on the floor by my feet. She gives me kisses and just stays with me.

I pet her for as long as my arms will bear, but she expects nothing of these visits. She is not there to receive but rather to give. I love my sweet girl.


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## lagadvocate (Oct 6, 2007)

Dear Buddy, 

It's been almost 10 months since you had to leave us. I miss you so much and know that no bun will ever be able to fill the hole you left in my heart. I was thinking today about the evening that we bought you. I knew nothing about rabbits and you made me nervous! But we were so excited because you were so cute. And you were so tolerant of our ignorance of bunny care.

We put you in a big ole' tub with the food you came with and some water. Then we flew to petsmart to buy supplies. Thank goodness I bought that rabbit care book there! I stayed up all night reading that book with you in that silly tub by my feet. We bought you a "rabbit cage", and you quickly told us how unacceptable that was. Then we gave you your giant pen complete with the hidey box that you hopped on top of to thump onwhen a thunderstorm was rolling in. 

I remember you used to jump into the popcorn bowl between me and daddy when we were watching a movie on tv. You didn't want to eat it, you just wanted to see what it was. Then you would always hop onto my belly and chew the buttons on my shirt with your butt in my face the whole time.

I remember when we brought Carmel home and she was just too young. She saw you and thought you were her mama so she tried to nurse. I remember the look on your face as you hopped away flicking your feet at such nonsense!

Oh and that one time when we moved to that strangely built apartment and you immediately started running around the whole place so methodically to get the layout memorized. Over and over you ran the same path but then your silly mama put a barrier up to keep you out of the bedroom while I unpacked the electronics. You ran smack into that screen running full tilt! Again you gave me that trademarked Buddy look of "What the heck did you do?"

The time that you ended up riding on Carmel's back facing backward as she raced across the room always brings a smile to my face. 

You even took me back after you and Carmel were boarded for that one awful month. I'm still so sorry about that.

When you started to get sick you were still so much my wonderful boy. All of those nasty medicines and treatments were an awful lot for a little bun to handle. But you did. You always did. I didn't think I was really going to lose you. You were only 4 years old. 

I miss you so much my little Buddy boy. My belly hurts when I think about you not ever being here again. Carmel was so lost without you too. It broke my heart to watch her searching for you all of those days. She won't accept Charlie. She hated the foster too. You were one of a kind and in her eyes you will never be replaced. Nor will you ever be forgotten.

I will see you at the bridge my sweet boy.

love, 

mama


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## Leaf (Oct 7, 2007)

:angelandbunny:

Hugs to you all!


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## m.e. (Oct 7, 2007)

:hug: :bunnyangel:


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## lagadvocate (Nov 8, 2007)

Gosh I haven't written anything here for a while but I do like to add entries cuz I like to _try_ to have memories.:tongue

So Charlie can't hear. We kinda figured as much since he never spooked at anything no matter how loud or crazy. We never really knew for sure though. We've had him for five months now! Wowza, seems like longer...probably cuz he's such a sweetie. Anyway, he was sitting like two feet from us and we started to call his name and make wierd noises without moving our bodies. We got louder and louder and got no response whatsoever. Well, from Charlie we got no response....Carmel began thumping from the hallway to tell us to shut up.

So when we took him back to the vet to try to figure out his syphilis issue, the vet said that he does believe Charlie to be deaf as a doornail...his words not mine. But, on the good side Charlie was FINALLY tested for syphilis instead of just being treated for the assumption. He tested negative. Go fig.

He's such a good boy though, and without being able to hear he seems to respond to vibrations...like approaching footsteps and such. Plus he appears to havegreat vision cuz he picks up on the slightest movement. Even better than "super sonic vision" Carmel! Guess he had to adapt. Not good to approach too fast though...like a certain young niece I know.

Bonding is STILL on hold. My husband, Roger, has been working 14 hours a day 6 days a week since this is his busy season so I have no bonding helper. And with Carmel I need to have a helper for sure. I tried to do it alone the other night. She literally knocked him onto his back with one quick blowand tried to bite him. For ONCE Charlie tried to fight back by kicking at her. But it was all very brief before I separated them and ended the "session". Good grief she is obnoxious. She'slike the terminator when it comes to Charlie, but she's all cream puffy and lovey to me.

Sooooo, who knows, they may just be separate for life. Which I think kind of sucks for Charlie cuz he acts like he wants to be her friend (at least from the safety of his pen).

And that's all I can typesince my keyboard is acting up and one by one the keys are failing to function!


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## lagadvocate (Nov 21, 2007)

*My own "bully breed"*

I am really getting tired of Carmel's 'tude. I get it, she wants to kill Charlie. She wants to kill anything and everything lagomorph. Enough already!

Carmel has always been a bit of a pain in the butt. I got her when she was barely 8 weeks old, and my sweet Buddy was about 6 months old. I was stupid and didn't know bonding too well back then. But lucky me, they bonded. Until Carmel hit sexual maturity--literally overnight. Then she was out for blood. They were separated until after her spay. Luckily Buddy was forgiving of her past assaults. At first he stayed on the defensive, but she was no longer aggressive to him so the re-bond went great. They were lovers til he went to the bridge. She ignored me until after he died, then she suddenly became my shadow.

_And Then..._

I brought a foster here in April. That was 4 months after Buddy died. Carmel smelled her instantly and went nuts! Shooting poo out of her rear like rapid machine gun fire. She wanted to get at that rabbit something fierce. Thankfully, the rabbit went to it's forever home pretty quickly. (Insert warning here--> THIS GIRL NEEDS TO BE A SINGLE!)

(Ignore warning here--> maybe another MALE will be ok, Buddy was male.) Charlie came here inJune.Neutered adult male. No machine gun poothis time,but there were plenty of one sidedpoo wars courtesy of Carmel.Alas, she hates him. 

Now I'mgetting really annoyed at her morning"ritual". When Charlie sees me come into the living room he gets really excited because he knows he's going to get pellets. Carmel, whois always laying outside of his pen in themorning, immediately tries to attack him through the pen bars. She gets so "caught up in the moment" that when I step near her to reach over the pen and give him pellets, she attacks my feet!So there I am, dancing around likesomeone's shooting bullets at my feet, trying to give Charlie his breakfast. Half the time it gets dumped on his head because she trips me up so much. Today I sprained my ankle!

So I constantly ponder...should I take away her free roam lifestyle and make her live in a pen again? My bun pens are huge and doing that will make my living room look a wee bit like a jail. Or should I bring in a bigger, meaner bun toknock her around a little bit and put her in her place--JUST KIDDING . But hey, a girl can ponder can't she?

So here it is folks, the latest in bunny bully breeds. It weighs 9pounds and is a mix of unknown heritage. It is fast, cunning, anddominant. Habits include: ripping holes in carpeting and digging on sofas. It will attack all other rabbits but always brakes for craisins.This is"The Carmel Rabbit"






But hey, don't take me too seriously...I do love the littlewitch (see previous mushy posts) :biggrin2:


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## Phinnsmommy (Nov 21, 2007)

:roflmao:


Carmel is adorable, and she sounds like quiet the little diva!


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## lagadvocate (Dec 31, 2007)

So Charlie's been here for 6 months and we stopped the bonding sessions several months ago because Carmel just always trys to kill him. Charlie is not aggressive at all and usually just got knocked onto his back by the brute.

But yesterday I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to try a car ride with them. Hubby(Roger)rode in the back with the buns and I drove. Carmel is not fond of the car so she tried to hunker down between the seat back and Charlie. Charlie is so oblivious to rabbit etiquette and car rides. He stood ON her. 

So Carmel's underneath him probably seething with resentment and thinking about revenge plans once she gets out of the car. I told Roger to scoot Charlie off of her because I doubt that was helping her opinion of him. So around we drove until Roger got carsick from sitting in the backseat staring at rabbits. Then we had to get home quick before there was a big mess.

Sheesh. :tongue

I do think I'll try it again though cuz maybe it will be the trick that ends up working. But I'll sit in the back with the buns for sure!


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## lagadvocate (Jan 3, 2008)

Now that's some high quality DBF'n right there!


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## Bo B Bunny (Jan 3, 2008)

How sweet!! It seems like Lops really love to sleep and do DBF's - none of mine do that!


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## AngelnSnuffy (Jan 4, 2008)

I have to say that that is a great shot of a dbf, I finally got one of Snuff, almost exactly like that! Good job, I love it!


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## lagadvocate (Jan 23, 2008)

Carmel's Journal


1/23/08
I'm going to keep a journal here within my blog, I hope that's ok. I wish I'd kept something like this when Buddy was diagnosed. But since I got Carmel's bad news today, despite my frazzled mind right now, I want to start a journal. So that I can have it and that maybe someone else might find it useful down the road.

Today Carmel was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. The same diagnosis that took her beloved Buddy from her 1 year ago. It hasn't fully set into my brain yet I don't think. She's not well. This I know. But I cannot register nor handle the possibility that I may very well be spending my last days with her now. 

I've had this girl since she was barely 8 weeks old. She's been through all the ups and downs with me during some of my most tumultuous years of my life. She was also there with me when Buddy passed. My husband was on the road, so Carmel and I had each other. I love my girl. I'm not going to write much about her medical status today. That will be tomorrow hopefully. I made this little slide show for my girl.

http://s196.photobucket.com/albums/aa64/bunlove_photo/carmel/?action=view&current=f9d8b301.pbr


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## AngelnSnuffy (Jan 23, 2008)

I'm holding on to Carmel with you. I know and I'm here for you.:hug:


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## lagadvocate (Jan 23, 2008)

Carmel's Journal

1/23/08

Today has been bad for my precious baby girl. She is getting progressively worse. She has not eaten anything since she came home from the vet yesterday. In fact,she's been sicker than ever since she camehome from the vet after starting these meds. She's been lying around the house in unusual places. I gave her both of her medications (lasix and enalapril) but it was a struggle and I'm not sure if I'm helping her by giving them. I hate that it is stressing her out even more. Vet called today and I told them that she is not doing well. They said to start force feeding. I'm using pumpkin, Nutri-Cal, and pedialyte. She does not like this either. Most of it dribbles out of her mouth, but I don't want her to aspirate.

She is tired and scared. I can't seem to comfort her. There is no cure for congestive heart failure. I know this. And this is the worst part. Watching, waiting, praying. Trying to give her supportive care, but being watchful and able to know if and when she'll need to be let go.

My wish would be that if she must leave this earth, that God will take her softly intoHis arms and out of her pain. I don't want it to be as it was with Buddy.On a steel exam table. Idon't want that for her. I don't want her to be in pain and afraid. I never thought that something like this would happen to Carmel.

She's always been my healthy bun. Never sick, gut of steel, played hard... I mean, Buddy had health problems his whole life (poor guy), but I've always jokingly called Carmel my 15 year bunny. Thinking that she'd have a long healthy life. I guess that was stupid of me. I of all people shouldknow by now that life is expert at derailing one's plans and hopes.

I suppose that my plan (at this point) is to do what I did with Buddy. Giveher supportive care and try to keep her as comfortable as possible until I see that she is struggling to breathe. I will not let her suffer that way. Soit is oneheart breaking day at a time.


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## lagadvocate (Jan 24, 2008)

Carmel's Journal

1/24/08

Carmel has shown no improvement nor decline today. I'm still having to force feed, but she is starting to eat a small amount on her own. The worst part is giving her the meds. She fights so hard. I've never had this much trouble giving meds to any bun. Still debating on the stress factor and if it's even worth putting her through this. 

I remember after Buddy died from heart failure, I told myself that if I ever had another bun with heart failure that I would not put them through these futile attempts at controlling it. That, in the end, the disease wins and it just prolongs their pain. When Buddy was getting sicker, I kept telling myself that I would give him just one more day, and then one more day. Why? It was for me I think, and that was selfish. On the other hand, I'd not dealt with it before, so I was learning as I went.

Knowing what I know now, and knowing how cardiac medicine is still in somewhat ofit's infancy in rabbits, I should know what to do. But I can't bring myself to do it. Why must I insist on waiting until she is at the worst possible point. I suppose that's the human in me. Hoping that a miracle may happen at any moment and wanting to give her the time for it to happen. 

In any case, I'll stop updating this journal on a daily basis unless something important happens that I want to write down. Otherwise I think I'll just keep it to every few days.


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## cheryl (Jan 25, 2008)

I'm really so sorry about what's happening to Carmel,sometimes life just aint fair and it sucks...i do know how you must be feeling though,because i went through a very rough time with my Pippi who had EC....i understand how stressful things can seem,and honestly my heart is with you.

Carmel is such a pretty little girl...and so lucky to have a mum like you to take such good care of her.

Thinking of you and Carmel

Cheryl


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## lagadvocate (Jan 31, 2008)

Carmel's Journal

1/30/08

Well, we are just taking it one day at a time still. Carmel has her ups and downs. There's not good days and bad days...there's good moments and rough ones for her. She still fights like a cat in a bag when it comes to her meds. I'm thinking of taking video of it and posting it to see if I can get any suggestions to do it better.

Her appetite has gotten somewhat better but not by much. She tires easily and is still laying down in spots that she's never laid in before. That is so strange, I wonder if there's something to that.

I've been having a hard time dealing with guilt over Charlie as well. With Carmel being so sick and with these very wellpossibly being her last days, I don't let him out for run time for as long as normal. Because when I let him out, Carmel has to go in the hallway. It's not a bad setup, but I just like for her to be able to choose where she wants to be right now. So Charlie's been getting about 5 hours a day out of his pen. Then he looks all bummed when I put him back in. :sigh:

Tonight has been a little rough for her. She was doing pretty good this afternoon, followed me outside onto the deck a few times and such. But now she's having some trouble breathing and her heart's beating pretty hard. 

I talked to the vet yesterday when he called for an update. He said he'd like to re-check her in a week and see about adjusting her meds. I dunno about him, but what can I do right now. When I go seehim though, I'll be asking for written scripts for her medsso that I can order them from the pet pharmacy that I used for Buddy. Much more reasonably priced.

Anyway, here's acouple of pics from a few nights ago when she was feelingsomewhat spry. Chewing up the papers in my hubby's "reading room" hehe.


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## AngelnSnuffy (Jan 31, 2008)

Hey Beth,

Glad to know it's going okay:?. I'm thinking the reason the vet wants to see her again is to possibly lower the dosage, of Enilapril anyway (which is used to try to open up the blood vessels to allow more oxygen through), maybe Lasix too. Once it starts working, dosage should be lowered.

I noticed upset stomach with Bun Bun, he had mushy poos, and there wasn't much I could do about that. Plus, when we let him out, he'd lay down, get up and move, and lay down again, but the Lasix makes them pee and they can't help it. It happens to humans too, it 's thefluid being taken off the heart:?.

Keep us posted, Beth. 

Remember, pm me anytime.:hug:

Crystal


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## lagadvocate (Feb 5, 2008)

So it's only been a few days since I lost Carmel. I miss her terribly and hate it when I wake up and think "oh I need to get Carmel her meds." I hate the grieving process, but I suppose that I'm doing ok. I've been thinking alot about Congestive Heart Failure lately. Wondering how common it really is. It just seems so strange that both Buddy and Carmel died of it. They weren't from the same litter. But they were bought from the same pet store about six months apart (before I became an adoption only person).

I'm driving myself crazy wondering what causedit. Was it environmental? We've moved several times over the course of their lives. Was it the time that they spent at that horrible boarder? Was it due to cigarette smoke? (before I realized that, duh, I should NEVER smoke around buns and I do not anymore). It'sjust maddening. Plus I keep staring at Charlie now, wondering ifhis heart beat looks strange, or if he's breathing too fast. Or if I should not try this new litter because it may betoo strong.ullhair:

But I need to just settle down and breathe. I think it's all part of grieving. Trying to make sense of it all. In the meantime, my Charlie boy is as charming as ever. Such a love bun. Seems I'm getting extra cuddles from him lately. He's a little confused by all of this, but he's ok. So I've got some good pics of him for the next post.


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## lagadvocate (Feb 5, 2008)

_Celebrating Charlie_

what's this? mama left the food jar open? :






well I'm sure it's ok if i help myself to a little taste! :










hey daddy, no sleeping! 






Yay, I woke him up! Ok now pet me :






Note to mama: You have photo editor that get's rid of red eye. USE IT will ya???


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## AngelnSnuffy (Feb 5, 2008)

Hee Hee, thoseare so cool! I have one withmy hubby (since Snuff is _*His*_ bun).

(Oh, and Charlie and Snuff look just alike.)

We have more in common than you think, haha.:shock:


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## LuvaBun (Feb 5, 2008)

LOL! It looks like Charlie can't believe his luck, finding the jar open. And seeing him with his Daddy - so cute!

It's only natural to wonder why things happen when we lose somebun, but sometimes things just happen and there are no answers. Like you say, it's all part of grieveing :hug:

Jan


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## NZminilops (Feb 7, 2008)

That last pictures is so cool! I am always trying to snap pics of people with my buns but they always move or I can't find the camera :X.

I loved 'hubbies reading room' pics too, hehe .


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## lagadvocate (Feb 11, 2008)

Thanks for the comments guys. 

So, Charlie has been livin' the free life since Carmel passed. I took his pen down a little bit at a time so I wouldn't freak him out to much.He didn't care at all though, he's just happy to be able to go where he wants when he wants. 

Even though they weren't bonded, I do think Charlie enjoyed Carmel's company (through the safety of the pen bars). She layed next to his pen every night and he layed on his side. So even though he feared her when they were face to face and she usually tried to pound on him, I think they liked having rabbit companionship, no matter how limited.

I don't think I'll be getting another bun any time soon. I know that I will want to have more bunniesin my life, but I need time. Plus, Charlie seems to be enjoying being the center of attention. Although he's been remarkably clingy to me (not that I'm complaining, I love all the attention from him too!):biggrin2:

Anyway, here are a couple of pics of my lil man chilling on his "bed". Funny, I bought this cushion for Carmel a long time ago but she never liked it. Now, Charlie is like "Where has this thing been all my life?!?!"


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## AngelnSnuffy (Feb 11, 2008)

Oh, isn't he precious!? Aw!

I know he just looks chubby cuz the way he's laying, but heee. Cute!


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## lagadvocate (Feb 11, 2008)

Yeah, hehe, he does look chubby with his belly all smooshed out 

In fact his nickname is Chubs because of that


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## LuvaBun (Feb 11, 2008)

Charlie looks sooo cute laying on that pillow - like he's claimed it as his own.

It sounds as if Charlie and you are getting a stronger bond . You'll know when it's the right time to let another bun in your life. Until then, you and Charlie just enjoy each other

Jan


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## TinysMom (Feb 11, 2008)

I know you've had a lot of losses - but I think it is so neat you're choosing to celebrate Charlie and his life.....

I know for me - it is so easy to get bogged down in the grief of what I've lost - and forget to appreciate what is still left to me. I'm so glad you have Charlie to love....he's adorable.

Peg


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## lagadvocate (Mar 19, 2008)

This is the last post that I will be writing in this blog. This is the hardest post I've written as well. About 4 hours ago, Charlie, my beloved Holland Lop died. To say that I was completely blindsided by this is a gross understatement. My heart is absolutely shattered. I'm sitting here writing this because I cannot sleep. I cannot stop thinking about the very violent way he passed. I cannot stop thinking about how much I love him and need him.

I only lost Carmel a month ago from heart failure and now I've lost my last little baby. For the past few weeks he'd been having these "episodes" where he would sort of choke up/wretch, and some mucus and food particles would come out of his mouth and nose. It panicked him, obviously, and I didn't know why it was happening. I had gotten lots of advice via forums and EB, but nobody really knew for sure...how could they, it's just the internet. I actually called the new vet today and made an appointment for him for Thursday. I was stupid. I waited too long. This is completely my fault. My husband and I were both down with the flu a few weeks ago and since, like many, we live paycheck to paycheck...we just hadn't recovered financially from the loss of workand Charlie paid the ultimate price.

But I thought, stupidly, that since the episodes were sporadic and not everyday, that maybe he'd be ok til I got the money up. He'd be completely normal after the episode was over. I am so furious with myself. I should have pawned something. Anything to get him the help he needed. If I had, he wouldn't have choked to death tonight. 

Money is the root of all evil. I firmly believe that. I don't care about money, I'm still several thousand in debt from Buddy and Carmel's heart failures. But poor Charlie got sick when the credit cards were maxed out. And I just didn't fight hard enough for him. If I had taken him in when this first started happening, he'd be here with me now.

I had Charlie for under a year, but I loved that bunny fiercely. His heart was full of nothing more than sweetness and innocence. Such a loving bunny, just wanting to be near us as much as he could. Not demanding, just a gentle soul grateful for any affection he received.

So now all of my bunnies are gone. I cannot tell you how empty my home feels, let alone my heart. The pain I'm feeling now is causing me to physically ache. The tears just won't stop. I can't get a grip. I just want my baby back. This shouldn't have happened to him. 

Right now I feel completely unfit as a bunny mom. I feel that I failed Charlie miserably and I still cannot comprehend what caused my other two to both die of heart failure. Sure, I give them lots of love, good food, and a house to run as they wish. But what is happening here? Is there something in my house causing all of these sweet creatures to become so ill? What is it? Or is it just me? 

So I don't know when or even if I'll ever get another bunny. I am devoted to them for sure. I love bunnies. I think they are the ultimate companions and there is no pet that can compare to them. I feel like the bunny version of the grim reaper. And it seems so morbid and wrong. Because I love them so very much. And I do every thing in my power to give them all they need. But I have failed.

So since this blog was created for my sweetie pies, Carmel and Charlie, it will end here.

Binky free my sweet buns, mama loves you more than you'll ever know.

:bunnyangel:


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## naturestee (Mar 19, 2008)

:bigtears:

I'm so sorry. Charlie was such a gorgeous bun. Those pictures of him on the bed are priceless- a house rabbit living the high life.

I don't know exactly what happened, but I do know that you shouldn't blame yourself. Yes, it's rotten that bad stuff happened and you couldn't afford a vet to check his problem out. But what would they have found? And how would it be treated? Unless it was an abscess that could be treated with antibiotics, I'm not sure what they would do. I'm guessing there was some sort of problem with his throat, and I do remember Irishmist's dutch boy that had somewhat similar issues and ended up having, if I remember right, a huge cancerous mass in his throat.

Sometimes rabbits can be very delicate, and you've had a run of very bad luck. If it makes you feel better, you are not the only person to have a run of bad luck with rabbit health. It happens, and it does _not_ mean that you are a bad bunny parent!

I know how much this hurts, I've been there. But please don't stop being a bunny parent, because I think you're a great one. When you feel it's right, get another bun. Maybe a rescue bun in the memory of the babies you lost. Or volunteer at a shelter- that's what helped me when Sprite died. I needed to go help other rabbits and feel like I was doing some good somewhere. Even if you still have doubts about how good of a bunny parent you are (I have no doubts about you!), remember that a rescue bun is much better off with someone who loves him than in a kill shelter or overcrowded rescue.

Binky free, Charlie. We'll never forget you.

:hug:


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## AngelnSnuffy (Mar 19, 2008)

:bigtears:

I am so sorry, honey. What a terrible shock. I know you blame yourself totally, but please try not to.

We're here for you, I hope you stick around.


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## lagadvocate (Mar 19, 2008)

Thanks guys, I so appreciate your kind words. I'm not leaving the forum, just this blog since it was for them. I couldn't leave the forum, I need bunny friends like you guys. I'll be around. 

-Beth


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