# BUBBA



## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

And its partially my fault. I should have done more. 

I had a french lop suffering from terrible eye problems for a long time. I tried treating him and took him to the vet and nothing helped. It just got worse and worse until his eyes sealed shut, and he was blinded, and his fur would fall out in large clumps and he would hop all funny. I thought it was time to let him go. 

I had him in an outside hutch that held three rabbits. I kept a frenchie on each end. The sick one on the left, and one who was perfectly fine on the right. 

You'll have to forgive me, for being raised a country girl. And not having the money to go to the vet for a proper euthanization. But I figure this way....they don't even feel the pinch of a needle. And then they sleep. I've had to shoot some bunnies in the past, and I just can't do it anymore. I counted on my friend Matt, a fell rabbit lover and farm boy. He was stopping over later that day to drop off some stuff for his own rabbit I was caring for, who was ill. I asked if he would help me, and he agreed.

He asked which one, I told him in that hutch there, on the left side, with the pink bottle. 

It was dark, and when he walked past I didn't really look, but in that lighting you couldn't tell a chestnut from an opal anyways I supposed. I didn't want to look. Matt carried him away into a quiet placei nthe pasture. And my heart sank. I heard a shot, and I knew Opie's suffering was over. I had done all I could for him.

The next morning I go outside to feed the horses....and Bubba's cage door is wide open. Oh no I thought....he escaped. But he has in the past and usually he doesn't move more than 10 feet. I couldn't find him. Then it hit me. I checked both hutches.... Opie, the suffering lop, was still int here suffering. And Bubba was gone. 

I wanted to throw up. the shot I had heard had taken away the frenchie love of my life. The very first French lop I'd ever had . The one I rescued for $12 from a meat market, and came home to win RIS at the PA Convention 2 years later. People offered my money for him, and wanted babies from him, but I would never sell. And I had sold all his babies.

I hate Matt. I hate that he's 23 years old and never learned left from right. Though I blame myself because I knew this....I KNEW THIS!! I knew MATT DOESNT KNOW LEFT FROM RIGHT AND I EXPECTED HIM TO! And I am being SOOOO serious that he honestly does not know!!! He has to stop and think which side of the car he drives on. So I always say ''Driver's side'' or ''Passenger side'' instead of left and right. I should have, I should have, If I'd only....

Or If I'd just gotten the rabbit for him. Which I didn't want to do because it would make me feel so much worse..... but if I'd only ...

Bubba would still be here. I feel so so sick and awful. This rabbit wasn't supposed to die! He was old but nothing more! He was fine!

He was fine...

And Matt took him from me because he's a dumbtard! 

I immediately called him and I only got his voicemail. The things I said.... would have made a sailor cringe. The things I said.... Or didn't say..... He would still be alive if only I had spoken up. 

I don't even have very many pictures of him..... But he's gone and buried and I never even said goodbye because it wasn't supposed to be him! 

I'm starting to think it should have been me. I feel like being shot. 

The death of a bunny has not hit me this hard in a long long time. I was very attached to Bubba. I'd had him for so long....I just can't imagine bunnyness without him now.


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## Pipp (Oct 3, 2007)

Jesse, I am so sorry. That's so tragic. 

It's a gutwrencher, but it's not your fault.Read all the posts about the accidents that could havebeen prevented -- a loose carrier latch,anexposed wire... Almost everything is preventable,but it's just not humanly possible to cover all the bases. 

I'm just sorry for your loss and the pain you're feeling.:tears2: Bubba's loss is awful, but take solace that his death wasn't ahorrible one.He went painlessly in peace.And he lived a good life.

sas :hug1


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

Who....is Bruno?


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

If I could just hold him again one last time, and tell him i'm so sorry I made a mistake, that we both did, and its not his fault, and he did nothing wrong. And that I loved him so so much. 

But the image of him keeps popping into my mind, of him being carried to his death. And staring down that barrel confused, like ''why me? What did I do? Am I sick? Jesse wouldn't let anything bad happen to me..."


But I did. I'm so haunted. I'm going to go insane! 

If Bubba had simply passed on his own, I wouldn't be so upset. Its this image that bothers me most. That he counted on me to keep him safe, and I didn't. 

Thanks Sas, some of the poitns you made helped. But I still have this burned into my eyes to deal with.


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## undergunfire (Oct 3, 2007)

I am so sorry, Jesse. I understand you 100%. I was born and raised in the country in New York. I was around horses, ducks, chickens, some rabbits, cows, ect for years. My uncle owned a dairy farm and euthanized his own cows. Sometimes you just need to do what you need to do for an animal.

I am very sorry for the loss of Bubba. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now :hug:.



Rest in Peace and Binky Free, Bubba :rainbow::rabbithop.


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## Pipp (Oct 3, 2007)

So sorry, half-typo, half lapse. :caffeine (I know a Bruno and Bubba pair), but honestly, my attention wasmoreon you than Bubba. Thatwasemotional, it still has me in tears, butI'm feelingyour pain more than poor Bubba's loss.He didn't suffer like you're suffering. It was a tragic accident. 
s :tears2:


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

No, Bubberz will never suffer again. He'll never feel pain again. He'll never have a good head scratch again or get TO'd when I feel the urge to play with his fat rolls. 

Its not so bad that he's gone. I do miss him and always will. But I let this happen. 

Matt even said something to me he said '' I remember this oen not being able to walk right...and he seems ok now.." But obviously, Matt isn't too bright ok? I love him but he's one of the dumbest men I know. Left and right...

I told him ''Matt.... he's sick. And he's not goign to get better." And he said ''alright''. 

And that was it. Is igned his death warrant. I said its ok to shoot this animal. I did. Me. Jesse...

This wasn't a latch I left open, IT wasn't an exposed wire. It was so so much more simple. It was me not takign to time to make sure. It was me putting too much faith ina friend who needs the L's from both sets of pointers and thumbs to know which was to turn.


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## Bo B Bunny (Oct 3, 2007)

Oh no. I hate to hear these things happening. Unfortunately we are not all perfect and mistakes happen at home as well as in a vet's office or hospital or anywhere with animals and people! 

Maybe, just maybe, he was going to go through a rough time since he was old, or something horrible like when dogs attack hutches. Maybe someone/something prevented this good old rabbit from a bad death.

I don't know what you believe but I believe things happen for a reason. 

It was Bubba's time for some reason which we might never know. You did not kill this rabbit. Matt made a terrible mistake which I am sure he's going to feel awful about.

I am very sorry for your loss. It hurts so much to lose a friend. :hug:


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## clarzoo (Oct 3, 2007)

I'm very sorry Jesse. urplepansy:


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## Haley (Oct 3, 2007)

Im so sorry, Jesse. I can tell this is really killing you. But you cant blame yourself or Matt for that matter. Yes it was a terrible horrible mistake, but you both were trying to do what was best. 

Im so sorry, we're here for you hun.


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## Michaela (Oct 3, 2007)

I'm so sorry Jesse :hug:, losing them unexpectedly is so much worse than when illness gets them. 

Binky free Bubba...:rainbow:


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

But.... I hate myself. 

Thanks for being here for me. Is nice to have some company. 
And a bottle of Bailey's + Irish tea.


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 3, 2007)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih61MJ72v1Y[/ame]

Playground school bell rings again 
Rain clouds come to play again 
Has no one told you she's not breathing? 
Hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to 
Hello 

if i smile and don't believe 
soon i know i'll wake from this dream 
don't try to fix me i'm not broken 
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide 
don't cry 

suddenly i know i'm not sleeping 
hello i'm still here 
all that's left of yesterday 


It was fitting. Beautiful song.


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## polly (Oct 3, 2007)

jesse i am so sorry hon. i really feel for what you are going through, i wish i could make it all go away for you  :rose:


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## maherwoman (Oct 3, 2007)

Oh Jesse.... I can't believe this happened to you.

I know you're kicking yourself...and I know to you this just doesn't compare to exposed wires and the likes...(no offense, sas)...

I wish I could give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder for as long as you needed...this is so horrible...

I know you feel responsible...and I wish there were something I could say to help you feel better...but, ultimately, I know there just isn't. I wish there were some little mixture of words to help take your pain away...but I know such a mixture just doesn't exist...not for this.

Know that I'm here for you...and always will be. I'm going to forward to you Danny's cell phone number (I thought I had, but you'd mentioned not having it, so I'll send it to you), and you call me if you need to, ok? He might be out when you call...but if you call, I will call you back.

I will always wuff the Jesse, and all of the Jesse's furkids. :hearts

And even though in your mind there are things that would've prevented it from happening...for whatever reason they didn't enter your mind. 

I wish I could help ease your mind about them and take away at least a _little _of your pain.

I am here for you...call me if you need me, ok?

Love always,

Rosie*


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## m.e. (Oct 3, 2007)

Oh, Jess. I'm so sorry :hug: :tears2:


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## AngelnSnuffy (Oct 3, 2007)

I'm very sorry Jesse:hug:.


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## TreasuredFriend (Oct 3, 2007)

I am feeling your pain, as I do for everyone who loses a beloved friend. Take comfort and strength as best you can... be there for all those who need you yet to show them Love. They are sentient creatures and will pick up on your body language. I am so sorry this happened.


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## Maureen Las (Oct 3, 2007)

OMG what a tragedy ..but it wasn't your fault!!
I'm so sorry that you lost Bubba..what a shame!
It is getting hard to read these deaths day after day..seems like there is a curse on all of us 
Most important thing is that Bubba had LOVE andthat"s more than some bunnies have even in a long life. My heart goes out to you


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## Mikoli (Oct 4, 2007)

[align=center]*Once upon a midnight shadow,*
*A loving soul was lost.*
*A bang,*
*A shot,*
*One last mistake,*
*My bunny rabbit's cost.

*
What a tragic loss of a rabbit. I really have no words that I can say that would comfort you. Even though, at now, it seems like the world is crashing down, and even though it seems like you can't live on without Bubba, remember this. Goodbye is never forever. Ever. Goodbyes are only temporary. And though Bubba himself is not there to guide you anymore, his legacy lives on through his offspring. His own heart has touched you, and his unique lines have now spread to touch others in the same way he has touched you.

Just a word of advice - don't do anything that you will regret later. Grief can blind us all, but remember that, one day, you may regret something that you say to Matt. No one is making you forgive him, but you don't want to have lost two friends in the end of this. I, myself, would be absolutely furious, but though these are pointless, empty words, please think before you speak.

R.I.P. Bubba.
[/align]


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 4, 2007)

Indeed thinking before I speak is something I try to do. It hought long and hard about just hat before I called Matt. But Matt's the kind of person where, if he honeslty messes up, simply saying so isn't goign to fix anything. If I caleld him and said '' you shot Bubba by mistake i'm upset." He's just be like '' oh sorry,'' because he wouldn't understnad the situation and he wouldn't think it was that bad. So I flipped out because I was angry and upset and he deserved it and needed to hear it that way. 

He hasn't said a word to me yet. I am willign to forgive him, if he can show me he honestly wants to be forgiven and is very sorry. A simple phone call and a ''Jessseeeeee, i'm sorryyyyy'' In a jesting tone is not goign to cut it, under the circumstances. If he broke one of my dishes that would work. 

But i'm not ready to forgive him yet. 

-JAK


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## pamnock (Oct 4, 2007)

Jesse - I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine your horror at the realization that the wrong rabbit was taken.

Please give Matt a call. He's human - he made a terrible mistake, but it was not intentional.



Pam


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## JAK Rabbitry (Oct 4, 2007)

I really don' have anything to say to Matt. He can call me.


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## Munchkin (Oct 4, 2007)

I don't know what to say other than I feel horrible for your loss.


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