# Coping with a loss...



## Katmais_mommy (Jul 16, 2011)

I didn't know where else to put this. 

My bunny, Dutch, passed away on the 14th. I'm still beside myself. I keep blaming myself constantly. I have trouble sleeping now. 

Now, I have only 3 bunnies left. It feels so wrong when I fill only 3 water bottles or when I make only 3 plates of veggies/fruits. 

I miss him so much. Luckily, I have plenty of pictures and videos of him to remember him by. 

Tomorrow, my brother and future brother-in-law are going to throw away Dutch's hutch. I don't know how i'll survive tomorrow. I compare it to cleaning out your dead child's bedroom. For the past two days when I went to feed the bunnies and let them out into their runs, I feel so sick when I pass Dutch's empty hutch. 

Tomorrow, we are also burying Dutch's stuffed turtle next to him. I know this sounds insane, but I was most upset when I found out that my dad forgot to bury the turtle with him. Whenever Dutch was scared, he would groom his turtle. I just... dont want him to be alone out there. Plus, our deceased guinea pig was buried with his stuffed animal. 

How do I cope with this grief? I tried busying myself but it's only temporary. The day after Dutch died, my mom and I went to the premiere of Harry Potter. So, that's the only thing that's getting me through the day. I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. 

I've never had a pet die before. I don't like this feeling at all.


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## SnowyShiloh (Jul 16, 2011)

Aww, I'm so sorry  Dutch only died 2 days ago so do not feel like there's something wrong with you for still being overcome with grief. When my bunny Tallulah died 3 years ago, I was extremely sad for a long time. Missed her like crazy and blamed myself for her death. I dreamed about her all the time (not happy dreams) and thought of what I could have done differently. One of the worst things was how often I would glance over at where her cage had been, even though I KNEW she was gone. It was like getting punched in the stomach every time. I still looked over there for her sometimes a month or two after she died. 

Let yourself be sad. Try not to blame yourself. Maybe try writing down how you feel. You could busy yourself by making a photo collage of Dutch and get it framed, make a scrap book, or go down to the craft store and get a little wooden box and some paints then paint a box to keep his belongings in. 

One thing I do want to say is you may want to reconsider burying his stuffed turtle. It may seem like the thing to do now but later on it might be really, really nice to have his favorite toy to cuddle with. Only one of my bunnies likes stuffed animals and he's still alive thank goodness, but I had a bunch of baby birds that all loved a Beanie Baby bunny. After they died I washed the bunny and it's on my night stand. Makes me think of the babies whenever I look at it and it's nice to be able to hold it. Just something to consider!

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.


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## Nancy McClelland (Jul 16, 2011)

Loss is a hard pill to have to swallow, but it's our lot as rabbit slaves--we will lose them. When my first little man went, Commodore Stockton, there were songs that would upset me and it was 4 years before I put anything on the Rainbow Bridge. You just have to hang onto the happy memories and know that you gave your little guy lots of love--something that not all bunnies get. Time is the only thing that can take the edge off and giving all the others more attention helps too. I agree with Shiloh and don't think you should bury the stuffed animal but should keep it in a special place as a reminder of the Happy Times instead.


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## plasticbunny (Jul 16, 2011)

This is by far the worst part of owning a pet. You would be crazy not to be upset, and are perfectly normal for mourning your loss.

I've only lost two bunnies. One I lost to a long and ongoing battle with GI stasis, which was the hardest death I ever had to deal with. I became extremely paranoid with the health of my animals for months afterwards, and had terrible nightmares all the time. Because she died in my arms, I couldn't help but relive that traumatic experience over and over in my mind... And almost a year later, I still do. Even now, I feel myself tearing up just thinking about it.

I lost my second bunny in March of this year. She had a terrible accident and broke her leg. Instead of having her leg amputated (the break was bad enough that amputation was the only option), I chose to have her euthanized. The guilt that goes along with choosing to end an animal's suffering is so powerful, even when you believe in your heart that it's the right decision. There is no doubt about it - that rabbit is dead because of a choice that I made. There is always that lurking feeling of "what if?".

Unfortunately, there's no quick fix to end your grief. Give it time, spend time with your surviving buns... Eat greasy food and drink wine. Cry, watch videos, look at pictures, make a scrapbook. Post endlessly about your loss. We won't mind


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## TinysMom (Jul 16, 2011)

First of all - I'm going to go ahead and move this to the Rainbow bridge....there are others who read that section who have also lost rabbits and they might be able to help.

Grief and loss are something we all deal with differently. Some people need to go out and get another animal to give their love to - others need a chance to back away and heal. Some find that their other rabbits still bring them joy while others find that tending to their other rabbits becomes harder.

Of course there is no one right way to grieve or no one set amount of time that one will grieve. I lost Tiny over 3 years ago and I still grieve for him - not so much with tears anymore but with wistful smiles as I remember things he would do and wish he was still here.

Please know that you are not alone in your grief though - that we're all here to help you. There are places online to get help too - with grief counseling after losing a pet.

Feel free to keep posting - we're here to help.

Peg


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## Ashleighh (Jul 16, 2011)

Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about Dutch. :c I lost my dog this year who Ihad for 14 years~ It's the worst feeling losing something you're extremely close too!

I promise you though that with time the hurt you are feeling will eventually ease. It won't go away but time does heal.


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## irishbunny (Jul 16, 2011)

I'm sorry for your loss 
Unfortunately I've been there a few times and know how hard it is to lose a pet. Just remember that what your feeling now will pass. Althought you'll never forget Dutch, it will get easier over time. Try and seek comfort in the fact that you gave Dutch lots of love and care and Dutch passed knowing they were loved.


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## Katmais_mommy (Jul 19, 2011)

I still have 3 rabbits.... Is paranoia regarding their health and well-being normal??? After Dutch's passing, I am SO paranoid, it is unbelievable. They've become "bubble bunnies". I just worry about them so much. It's like I'm trying to compensate or make up for what ever I haven't done for Dutch. 

On hot days, I give them fresh fruits, veggies, a frozen waterbottle, and frequent ear wipe-downs with a cold cloth. When I let them out to play on the hot days, I "set up camp" outside with my ipod, speakers, and hang out in the pool. It's actually cute to see the "children" (that's what i call them) play together. 

Besides Dutch's passing, it has been a convenient summer since I recently quit my job and now I have more time for the bunnies. Most days, I let them out into their divided areas and I just swim in the pool where I can keep an eye on them. 

so, back to the paranoia. Is this a normal stage of grieving? Please say yes because I still have trouble sleeping at night and concentrating during the day without thinking of my babies.


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## plasticbunny (Jul 19, 2011)

Yes Yes Yes.

When my first rabbit passed, I was so worried for their health that I would throw away an entire bowl of food because there was one poo in it. I was worried that they wouldn't eat around the poo, and then would get sick and die and it would be all my fault because I was the most negligent pet owner ever.

Good news is, it goes away slowly. I think It took me a month before I started getting less paranoid, so it takes some time but not as much as the sadness.


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