# Family on Facebook



## slavetoabunny (Mar 19, 2011)

I was just wondering how many people friend their family members on Facebook? My mother just got on Facebook and wanted to friend me. I really couldn't refuse. It's not that I post anything I wouldn't want her to read. It's just that anytime she sees me online she wants to chat. I don't always have time for this. Most times during the day I take mini-breaks and just check out my websites quickly and go back to work. I love my mom dearly, but I can see this getting out of hand.


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## Korr_and_Sophie (Mar 19, 2011)

You can turn FB chat off. Click on the chat tab at the bottom then on the Options button. There is a spot to click to go offline. You can also create lists and set it so you don't show up to those people. If you want to talk later, you can switch back to online. 

I do have some family on Facebook, but they are mostly aunts and uncles. My mom isn't on Facebook and my brother doesn't chat with me.


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## mistyjr (Mar 19, 2011)

I have a lot of family on my facebook...

Do you know where's a bottom on the chat that you can click on for offline chat, You are still on but its shows you are offline.


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## slavetoabunny (Mar 19, 2011)

Thanks! I will have to check this out. Do you know that if I have chat turned off, if I can still be seen as being online? I don't want mom to think I am ignoring her.


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## Korr_and_Sophie (Mar 19, 2011)

I don't think you appear as online if you have chat turned off. I know I have some friends that turn chat off and they don't appear as online even though I know they are.


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## Jynxie (Mar 19, 2011)

I have family on facebook...
They all think I'm crazy due to my animals. :3


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## Michaela (Mar 20, 2011)

My mum doesn't have Facebook, thankfully. I wouldn't accept her if she did haha.
I have my sisters and brother as friends, but actually have it set so that they can't see my pictures or my wall. My uncle sent me a request, I haven't accepted it though, I just think it's a bit weird.


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## degrassi (Mar 20, 2011)

My mom has facebook and I added her but its super annoying. She got mad at my brother who refused to add her and then shen he finally did he had her on restrictions(can't see basically anything on his profile) which made her even more offended. I added her because i didn't want to have a problem but I find it super annoying that she comments on pretty much everything I put on facebook. When I tried restricting her view she asked me why she wasn't seeing any of my stuff on her newsfeed anymore. So irritating. Its not like I have bad stuff on my facebook that I don't want my mom seeing. I just really dont' want my mom commenting on EVERYTHING i have on my wall. 

I do have other family on my facebook. Most are cousins and my brother and sister. I did feel kind of bad once because I defriended my Aunt who I dont' really like and then about 6 months later I get a new friend request. I guess she figured out I deleted her, lol. 

But for parents I think its best to accept them and have them on restrictions. I love my mom to pieces but she doesn't understand that I dont' want to chat every time I'm on or have her be the first to comment on everything.


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## irishbunny (Mar 20, 2011)

I have some cousins, an aunt, and an uncle and a brother and sister. It depends on who in my family wants to add me whether I will accept them or not. My Aunt's weird Husband tried to add me but I didn't accept, because I know when I get tagged in pictures or someone posted stuff on my wall he'd be quizzing me about it and asking my parent's about it. Me and my friend's can be kind of crazy so I don't want him to see the stuff on my FB. The family I add are young and crazy themselves so I don't mind them being my friend on it.


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## MiniLopHop (Mar 20, 2011)

I do add family, but my mom is not on. I think she would cause issues because she can be a bit controlling. 

My issue is with a coworker that basically pestered me into adding him. After a while I defriended him because I just think it's an invasion of privacy. He asked where I went. I just shrugged and said it must be a FB glitch, I didn't do anything. I was sure I would show up again. The subject has dropped.


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## jcottonl02 (Mar 20, 2011)

Lol I have a huge family and we are all incredibly close. I have lots of them on fb, but don't really use it as a means of chat because I normally chat on the phone to my sister every day or so, and I chat to my mum all day by texts, and the occasional text chat/ring when my dad is free.
I also have ebuddy on my phone so I am usually constantly logged into FB and MSN so I can easily talk to people all day on my phone.
I did warn my Mum that my language is not the best and she know this, and so on fb if theres something she doesn't want to see then she just shouldn't look at it, and we kind of have a mutual understanding that she just ignores anything she doesn't want to see, but she is pretty cool about most things. She's more my mate, so it doesn't really matter what I post.
I couldn't go a day without talking to my mum or my sister!! And I really do miss my dad when he is working lots but we do manage to catch up every week or so.

Patti- if you are 'offline' noone can see you are online. However if you post on a wall or something, your mum may be able to see this and realise you are appearing offline, because you are posting.
HOWEVER
what you can do, is make a separate chat list. I never knew this. What you do is go to chat and friend list (I believe) and you can put your mother in her own little group and always appear offline to her, until you choose to appear online to her.



Jen


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## itsazoo (Mar 20, 2011)

I am friends with both my parents and my brother, my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, my cousins etc.. even my step-moms family and many of my custamers from work lol I dont think its weird at all. as for chat, I keep mine turned off, and no more problem


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## itsazoo (Mar 20, 2011)

should mention I have no family issues, the only ones who really comment on anything are my dad, and my one aunt and uncle lol


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## JadeIcing (Mar 20, 2011)

I am friends with most of my family. One or two I avoid because they are drama queens.


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## Pet_Bunny (Mar 20, 2011)

I've been on FB for a couple of weeks now but I don't chat. There are lots of friends and family that I accepted, but I am selective on who I accept. I do restrict some info and pictures for family only.


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## TinysMom (Mar 20, 2011)

*Pet_Bunny wrote: *


> I've been on FB for a couple of weeks now but I don't chat. There are lots of friends and family that I accepted, *but I am selective on who I accept.* I do restrict some info and pictures for family only.


I am that way also. I tend to only accept people I know personally or have gotten close to from various places. That's why I don't give out my facebook information....plus I do a lot of games on facebook and I know the notifications can bug people.

I do have some of Art's family on Facebook - but only a couple.


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## slavetoabunny (Mar 20, 2011)

*TinysMom wrote: *


> *Pet_Bunny wrote: *
> 
> 
> > I've been on FB for a couple of weeks now but I don't chat. There are lots of friends and family that I accepted, *but I am selective on who I accept.* I do restrict some info and pictures for family only.
> ...



Same here Peg. I don't play any games and do hide them, so I'm not bugged by notifications. My mother is a very needy person and I'm dreading her bugging me. I rarely ever chat, but hate to turn it off.


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## Maureen Las (Mar 21, 2011)

*Jynxie wrote: *


> I have family on facebook...
> They all think I'm crazy due to my animals. :3


Join the club :biggrin:


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## Maureen Las (Mar 21, 2011)

I didn't know that you could turn off chat ..nowI will 
Chatting that way seems incomplete and disjointed to me.


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## Katmais_mommy (Mar 21, 2011)

I have a ton of family on Facebook. But I would NEVER friend them. It's mostly the snobby, wealthy side of my family that's on FB, so i dont want to add them. The ony family I Friended are my sister, her fiance, and 5 of my close cousins. 

I also have my own rule of not Friending co-workers.


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## Jynxie (Mar 21, 2011)

My mom and dad have me on facebook, as do some of the aunts/cousins.

My mom is not the type to comment everything, or use the facebook chat. She likes a lot of my posts but a lot of my posts are like "woo 95% on this test" etc, so I can see why she'd like them haha. My dad doesn't use facebook, but he has one. 

I really dislike the chat anyways so I'm always offline.

I wouldn't want my grandparents on there though, they think the word 'fart' is a curse word, so they wouldn't be happy with my facebook at times.


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## nermal71 (Mar 21, 2011)

You can turn off the chat and it will not show you online to anyone so she won't think you're ignoring her  I often have to turn my chat off because I have one woman who while she is sooo nice she is soooo annoying and she tends to start chatting 2 min before she knows I leave for work.


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## Jynxie (Mar 21, 2011)

Also all my old co-workers are great so I don't mind having them on my facebook. I'm always pretty friendly/close with people I work with, I'm friends with a lot of them.


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## slavetoabunny (Mar 21, 2011)

*Katmais_mommy wrote: *


> I also have my own rule of not Friending co-workers.


I would never friend a co-worker!


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## JadeIcing (Mar 21, 2011)

*slavetoabunny wrote: *


> *Katmais_mommy wrote: *
> 
> 
> > I also have my own rule of not Friending co-workers.
> ...


I have that rule... Almost all my coworkers are friends with each other. I think they find it rude that I don't add them...


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## Sweetie (Mar 21, 2011)

*Jynxie wrote: *


> My mom and dad have me on facebook, as do some of the aunts/cousins.
> 
> My mom is not the type to comment everything, or use the facebook chat. She likes a lot of my posts but a lot of my posts are like "woo 95% on this test" etc, so I can see why she'd like them haha. My dad doesn't use facebook, but he has one.
> 
> ...


About the word "fart": you can always use the word "fluff" in place of the word "fart". Or put that someone "bunny fluffed".


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## Jynxie (Mar 21, 2011)

haha, you're making farting sound cute.


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## PickleJuice (Mar 22, 2011)

I dont mind atall friending family or co-workers. You can place all your friends into "lists" and then go into your privacy settings and set who will see your posts and who will not. Also, with the chat, you can also set lists so you will only appear "online" to certain people (which is an alternative to going "offline" on chat to everyone). I dont sweat adding people I know, especially family... I love my family. I would never hurt ther feelings by ignoring their friend requests, but I also need my privacy and I dont want them to see or read everything on my FB either. Just explore all your privacy settings, set them where you feel comfortable and then there wont be a problem friending someone who you dont want to see the posts and activity on your page. Easy-Peasy! Also, when you go to put up a status message there is a little "lock" icon on the left off the message box where you can edit who sees that particular post and who doesnt. Dont sweat it... everyones on FB now, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, cousins, grams & gramps, etc... its all good and not wierd atall (atleast to me anyways).

:biggrin:


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## Nela (Mar 22, 2011)

I don't have the best relationship with my family and I have them on my Facebook after they kept pestering. Often, someone will complain that they see me about but I'm not contacting them or anything. I make sure to catch up every once in a while so they understand that I am not exactly wanting to cut all contact but I have made it clear that I have my own things and will do what I want when I want so if it means playing a game instead of sitting to chat with one of them, so be it. My facebook chat caused me so many problems because people thought I was ignoring them when really the chat was glitching and either showing me offline or online when I wasn't so I have kept it offline permanently. I tried it a while back to chat with a friend but it caused more problems so I do not bother with it anymore. 

For a while, I did have two separate Facebook accounts - one for friends, and one for family and people I wanted to keep a certain distance with. It became hard to juggle though so I only have one but if someone complains, I tell them that if it bothers them, they'd best take me off Facebook and call/e-mailwhen they really need to talk.

(I am quite selective of my friends and I don't add people just because I 'know' them. I normally have to have known the person for a long time before I add them on it.)

It's probably best you tell your mother that you use Facebook as a quick posting media rather than something you actually want to sit at and chat. Maybe you could encourage her to email you more so that you can reply back when you have the time and desire to chit chat?

Hugs!


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## Bluesmaven (Mar 22, 2011)

All of my family is on facebook and they are all my friends I kinda like it because I'm not one for making phone calls. Facebook is just easy.


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## naturestee (Mar 22, 2011)

I started on Facebook because my family essentially forced me. It is the primary way my siblings communicate and share pictures, and they used the lure of pictures of new puppies and such to force me to join. It is the main way I talk to my brother, sister, and their spouses.


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## PepnFluff (Mar 23, 2011)

I'm friends with some of my cousins, and Uncles and Aunts except aunts and uncles are heavily, heavily restricted on what they can see of mine, pictures etc are no go's! I don't get up to any dodge things but the thought of sitting over family dinner and my Aunt bringing up the fact she saw me drunk somewhere I can't imagine it going down well haha. I also have all my chats etc sorted into groups, lets just say I'm anal about my FB!


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## slavetoabunny (Mar 24, 2011)

I finally had to do it. I hid my online status. I love my mother, but since she has retired and does nothing but sit at home and do nothing I can't entertain her. The family has been very supportive in attempting to get her involved in activities, etc., but she always has an excuse not to. I hate to say this, but I'm done. If she refuses to do anything for herself in spite of family support, then tough love has to be the answer.


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## kuniklos (Mar 24, 2011)

Thankfully my family are technophobes. I am the only one who owns a computer. One family has it for their business and keeping records, but no internet.

However, I am friends with most of my fiance's family. They message me about once a week, but tend to spend more energy on sending me a text or calling me than with Facebook.


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## BethM (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm "friends" with quite a few of my family members on facebook. I also have a few co-workers on there. But I am a big fan of using lists and privacy controls. Co-workers are extremely limited as to what they can see. I also lock out certain lists of people from seeing some updates, pictures, etc. (Mostly, co-workers!) 

I also keep my chat offline, most of the time.


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## SOOOSKA (Mar 29, 2011)

I have my nieces, nephews and sisters on FB, they have no problem with me reading what they write as they really don't write anything that they are embarrassed about and neither do I. 

I'm just shocked at what some people put on Facebook. Do they not realize that alot of people can see how ridiculous they are and some of the pictures I've seen on FB. I really wonder why so many people have to put their Drunken pictures on their of them making complete fools of themselves.

Honestly I was at my last job and theywent onto FB to check out prospective employees, quite a few didn't even get a call let alone a interview because of what they had on their FB. Believe meat some point those pictures and comments will come back to haunt them.

Patti how old is your Mom? I just wish my Mom and Dadwere still alive so I could have them on FB, mind you they probably wouldn't have a clue about computers.:shock:


Susan


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## slavetoabunny (Mar 29, 2011)

*SOOOSKA wrote: *


> Patti how old is your Mom? I just wish my Mom and Dadwere still alive so I could have them on FB, mind you they probably wouldn't have a clue about computers.:shock:
> 
> 
> Susan


My mom will be 68 in September. I don't write anything that I wouldn't want her or any other family member to read, it's just that I really don't have time to chat every day.


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## hartleybun (Apr 9, 2011)

playing catch up here! im 'friends' with my kids, which i know some parents have issues with. it's also a great way to keep in touch with my cousin and ex sister in law.


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## Ponyta (Apr 11, 2011)

I have some distant family on facebook, but I don't speak to my immediate family, except my brother. I have almost all my co-wokers, though. We're very close to each other. I don't censor myself at all. There's the understanding that this is my home/private life, I can say what I want. Two of my managers are my friends, in RL and on FB, and they post all the time about how they hate their jobs, so it's cool. There's no drama, really. 

My mom used to be on my facebook before our falling out, and we would talk through comments, chat, message, then text each other, call, and e-mail. People thought it was hilarious, because we were constantly bantering with each other.


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## Horsey_Gal (Apr 13, 2011)

I'm friends with my family and I don't have trouble with them. Of course, they never post on any of my things, and I have chat turned off. There are certain people who constantly want to chat, and that gets annoying =P The only family member I'm not friends with is my dad. That probably wouldn't go to well, but, thankfully he never goes on facebook


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