# In Memory and in Honor . . .



## pamnock (Dec 10, 2006)

I'm starting this thread to remember and honor special people that we have lost and also those serving our country during this holiday season so we can all keep these beloved people in ourthoughts and prayers. . .

My avatar is kept in honor of Carl Lewis aka "Buck Jones", one of the original and much loved members of our forum. Carl passed away on Father's Day 2005. We keep Carl, his wife Helen and their children in our thoughts during this holiday season . . .


----------



## pamnock (Dec 10, 2006)

I'd also like to remember one of our original members Angela aka BunnyMommy and her bunny Sherman. Angela lost her husband Danny on August 9, 2004. I've been searching for the thread that had some beautiful photos of Angela and her husband, but I can't find them. If anyone can track them down, I'd love to have one posted on this thread.





Inmemory of a special young lady - my friend's daughter "Itty" who died March 6, 2005 at the age of 17.



In memory of my mother, who died at the age of 50 in 1993 . . .



And in special memory of my mother-in-law, Helga, who died in a terrible car accident earlier this year . . .



Pam


----------



## nangobi (Dec 10, 2006)

I'd like to mention my friend Debra who died aged 37in October last year after a 7 year battle with cancer. Christmas just isn't the same without her. 

I knew Debra since the age of 4 and always looked up to her even when we were children.She was the bravest, kindest, sweetest person you could wish to meet. The morning after she died I met someone from our school who hadn't seen her in 20 years.This rough, giant of a man remembered her as a sweet, gentle girl with a lovely smile - a perfect description.

Christmas just isn't the same without her and I know her parents, husband and young daughter are missing her terribly. 

There were 6 of us girls who have been friends since childhood. Knowing we could lose Deb made us all make the extra special effort to keep our friendship going and we used to go out for fabulous evenings of great food, loads of laughter and singing. Westill go outon our girly evenings and we laugh and sing but there's always an empty space at the table.

Sleep peacefully Deb.


----------



## SweetPeasMommie (Dec 12, 2006)

In loving memory of my Aunt/cousin Pat whom I call Mame Dennis. She suffered from MS fro 20 yrs. She passed away on March 14th 1989 from lung cancer. She and I were extreamly close. She always called me Queenie Angel and I was in charge of everything in her home. I was only 11 yrs old when I lost her. Miss her terribly.

My grandfather passed away on November 19th 1997 just months after my graduation day. I was at my job meeting my sister and her daughter on October 30th for the Halloween parade. My grandparents happened to be shopping that night. I was talking with my grandfather, I asked him are you coming back home for Thanksgiving since they were going back to Fla like they always do. He looks at me and says no we are coming back for Christmas maybe. Tell everyone to have a Happy Thanksgiving and he loves them all. He did not look good that day either. So tired and pale.

On November 18th I recieved a post card from them. Normally my grandmother writes the post cards. Well my grandfather did. He said Angel, the weather is nice here, I miss you and love you. Tell everyone happy thankgiving. Love Grandpa and Grandma.

The very next day he died from a heart attack a massive one. He has survived with many heart attacks, tripple, quadruple, double and single by pass. This time it took him away from me. I always looked up to him always. He helps me pull through school, how to live my life. Me growing up I never was happy with my life. He knew what my dream was growing up. He told me that when he comes back for Christmas he was going to sit down with me and get me enrolled to Penn State University to become a Vet Tech. He also told me to follow my dreams. I never followed my dreams to become a vet tech. I truly miss my grandfather and I will always remember your silly antics you always did with your grandchildren. There are 10 grandchildren that never got to meet you but I know that you have.



Next is for my mother in law Shirley whom I call mom. she passed away with a battle of cancer. She was diagnosed with bladder cancer on Jan of 04. They removed the bladder and few other things along with chemo. She was cancer free. April of 05 she got very ill with urinary and bowel infection. A bad one, then she got blood clots and c dif infection on top of that. So they did a full body scan and found nothing in her. More blood clots. Then in June they found a tumor in her nyphnodes I think. Then they started chemo and radiation for it. More blood clots so they had to stop the chemo. So they kept up with cat scans and it showed nothing. Even the tumor disapeard. Early september they did another scan and it was all over her from her brain to the bones. They gave her a week to two weeks to live. She passed away on September 27th 2005.

Shirley is a woman with a heart of gold. She loved everyone, she would pray for everyone, also she makes sure that everyone is loved by her. She helped me pull though the rough times that I was going through with my family. I miss her dearly and I wish I knew her more.



My husbands grandmother Dorothy Passed away 2 wks after her daughter Shirley on October 14th 2005 from a heart attack.


----------



## Pipp (Dec 13, 2006)

Pam, this is so thoughtful of you.:tears2:My condolences to all for these losses. I hope BunnyMommy and Sherman are well, and I'm thinking of the Missus, too. 


I guess I should take the opportunity to pay a little tribute to Dilland Darry's namesakes, my dear friend Bill and his brother Barry. 

I first met Billy in a music store years ago. He asked me for directions to an addresson the west side oftown.He was the best looking guy I'd ever seen.

When I left the store afew minutes later, he wasstanding at a bus stop -- heading east! I pulled my car up, told him he was going the wrong way but that I was heading in that direction (I was), although I had to stop at hometo pick up theitem I needed to deliver (I really did!)

Well, we stopped at my house, he came inside, looked around and made himself at home -- and stayed10 years. 

He pulled out a guitar that first dayand started to sing -- hewas quite possiblythe best singer I had ever heard, and that I've heard since.As it turned out, he had been something of a teen idol in his youth, fronting a family bandwith his face plastered on teen magazines. I guess the pressure must have been too much for him, it gave way to just being plastered. 

I knew he was trouble -- make that Trouble -- an hour afterwe met. He said, "I'll be right back," and returned with a bottle of hard liquor and a case of beer and proceeded to throw back the works in about two hours. By himself.

Our romance didn't last all that long --Ididn'tsuffer fools gladly, and I had even lesstolerance for alcoholics -- butwe retained a very deep friendshipfor years.Whenever I moved-- a new apartment, a new city-- Billy would eventually show up on my doorstop, suitcase in hand, even after Imarried.

The last number ofyears we fell out of touch. The episodes fueled by pills and booze had worn thin, and then he moved to another city. He was in failing health, thanks to the abuses. I kept meaning to call him, but I never did-- something I deeply regret. 

Late last year I read that his younger (and favourite) brother Barry, who had visited on occasion (and who was even more messed upthan Billy, if that was possible -- at least Billy didn't jump offbridges when drunk), had disappeared in the aftermath of Katrina. I don't think anyone who knew him was all that worried. He disappeared all the time, for months, sometimes years. But this time, he didn't resurface until many months later, when theyfound his body undera New Orleans pier. He had drowned in the flooding. 

Billy was too ill to travel to Barry's memorial. He died athome that same day. For some reason, I was surprised. Shocked. And devastated.Taking a look back over the years, I realized how much he influenced every facet of my life. 

I'm glad I namedDill after Billy -- Dill and Darry came intomy life the week after Billy died--becauseas it turned out,just like Bill, the little guy is Trouble.And I love him very much, too.

Rest in Peace,guys.ink iris: Your demons have left the building.Billy, I owe you so much. I'm sorry I didn'ttell you that when I still had the chance.


----------



## Bassetluv (Dec 13, 2006)

Thank you for starting this thread, Pam; what a wonderful idea. So many of us will be missing loved ones, a small tribute is comforting in so many ways.

In memory of my mother, who passed away from cancer when I was 10. She was just 42, and had 4 children at home. Unfortunately most of my childhood memories are faint at best...subconsciously blocked from trauma...but here's what I do remember about my mom: She loved flower gardening, and had beautiful lilacs and peonies around the house. She loved her cat, Peter...he followed her everywhere, a dark shadow with four paws. Despite having four children at home, she still found time to work part time, selling Avon and other products to the other women in the neighborhood. She used to sketch and paint - though I don't recall ever seeing her do so - I remember a few of the pictures she'd done...unfortunately long since gone. She was quiet, gentle, loved to read mystery and romance novels, and she loved life. And 39 years later, I still miss her, and find myself wishing so many times I could talk to her, ask her for her advice...

In memory of my step-mother, who passed away in 2005 of cancer. She was a lively, life-of-the-party woman who would do just about anything on a dare. She was a champion bowler, and their basement was filled with trophies she'd won over the years at tournaments. Always had a smile on her face, loved a good joke...you couldn't be in a room with her and not laugh, no matter your mood. When Marion came into my dad's life she brought him back to life, and she was a breath of fresh air for the entire family.

In memory of my ex-husband, who passed away last September of cancer. Bob and I weren't married for very long...we were together for roughly 5 years in total, but I learned so much from him. He was someone who never refused to help another when they needed assistance. He encouraged me with my art. He encouraged me to visit my grandmother more often, something I would never have done on my own. Bob and I grew up together in our relationship...we both had come from abusive backgrounds, and we both needed one another in order to learn and grow. He was the little boy who had never been shown love - both his parents abandoned him when he was four years old - and for the rest of his life he was seeking approval, wanting everyone to love him, not seeing the genuineness of his own self. Even though he never really saw it, he had a beautiful soul.

:rose:


----------



## SOOOSKA (Dec 13, 2006)

What a lovely thread. I had tears in my eyes reading these lovely tributes.

I will add mine, my father passed away little over 8 years ago. He was a pilot in WW2 RAF. He very seldom talked about his days he was overseas. He did win one of the highest medals here in Canada /Britain, for saving his fellow soldiers when he crash landed his plane. He was very kind man, liked his beer and a man of few words. He was older when I was born but I can honestly say he was the best father.

I also miss my mother, she is still alive but has had Alzheimer's for the past8 years, this has to be one of the worst illnesses out there. I guess for the person who has the illness they really don't know but for the family who has to see their loved one fade away it's very difficult. I guess what upsets me so much is she gave up having so much when we were growing up and then when she could afford to enjoy life she gets this disease. Life isn't fair. 

Susan:angelandbunny:


----------



## Dwarf_Angel04 (Dec 14, 2006)

*Awww this is so sweet but yet so sad. There sure were alot of people in this world have since passed on that were greatly loved. *

As a sibling of a young cancer patient I know of numerous families that are celebrating yet another Christmas without their child. Many heartaches but yet so many fond memories.I've had _many _relatives die from cancer along with friends. So keeping all those in mind. 

However, there are some deaths that have impacted me more then others because of the situations. 

In memory of 2nd cousin Brian who decided his life wasn't worth living anymore in 1998. 

Yet another year in which I won't be celebrating Christmas with a very special little boy to me. My cousin Aaron had a heart of gold and helped anyone and everyone around him. His parents were no longer together and he knew what should be said and either house. Never would he allow one parent to 'down' another parent in front of him which they tried their best not to do. Aaron's father had/has MS in which he's had for at least 13 years. On June 19th 2002, Aaron was struck by a car operated by a driverunder the influence of illegal materials. The family all gathered in the hospital chapel while Aaron was on life support sharing stories of the bright little boy. Aaron lost his life yet helped 3 other people regain strength of their life on June 20th, 2002. 

One family gathering my cousin Brett introduced his 'friend' Tish tous. Tish had been through a lot in her life due to her mother's behavior during pregnancy. Needless to say Tish went through 34 surgeries in her 24 years of life, 2 beingopen heart and a total of3 being fora double lung transplant. Tish spent her whole lifefighting for her lifeand knew her life was going to be short. However, that didn't stop her at all! She was going to collegemajoring in Early Childhood Education. On August 22, 2004Tish recieved her double lungtransplant.Of course that came with complications but also much enthusasim as shecould do things like run for the first time in her life! However,onAugust 22, 2005 Tish's life was cut short due to pneumonia. 

Just this year I've lost 4 relatives with the first happening in March when my great aunt lost her battle to cancer. 

On April 4, 2006 a beautiful baby was born but problems were quickly located. Come to find out "Cousin Baby Calvin" was born with a genetic condition similar to Trisomy 18& amp; 13. The family was informed that Calvin could die tomorrow, next week, next month, a year or even to 19 years of age. Majority of Calvin's life was spent in the hospital however, he was home for 19 days of his life. Due to his condition Calvin died from respitory problems on May 9th, 2006. Although, we most likely have more pictures of him in 5 weeks then most people have for their first 18 years of life. In his 5 weeks of life, his three siblings were able to gain many memories of him and still talk about him as if he was alive. 

In September a 2nd cousin's 'husband' suffered from a massive heart attack at the age of 43 leaving behind two young children, 4 yrs and 18 months. 

During the middle of October, a 2nd cousin's ex husband decided that his life was no longer worth living. He left behind two children age 7and 4. 

However, with all the heartache and agony throughout this year we are greatful! Calvin's big brother, Amos age 3 just had his 3rd open heart surgery last Monday. All is going great! He's home from the hospital and contiuning to thrive in his recovery! 

*My heart goes out to all those remembering loved ones this holiday season whether they be 2 legged friends or 4 legged furry friends.ray:*

~Amanda~


----------



## TinysMom (Dec 14, 2006)

Wow - this is a tough thread to read.

There are four people I am thinking of a lot lately.

Two are my grandma and grandpa. Grampy died when I was in the 6th grade. That was tough for me because we were going up to visit them for Christmas and I wanted to stay home - so I'd silently wished they were dead so we didn't have to go. Of course I know now I didn't cause his death....but it hurt anyway and I felt guilty for years. One year they'd come to visit us for Christmas and on the way to Ct. from Northern Maine, they'd stopped by the road and cut me a small tree ..and then my grandmother went ito a Kmart and picked up some cheap decorations. Funny thing how much I remember that tree.

My grandma died about 20 years ago....and I had dreamed she was going to die. Talk about scary. I miss her sometimes. Art & amp; I went through a lot of rough years in our marriage and mom has told me about how one time Grammy came out of her bedroom and said, "You stop worrying about those two. God has told me they'll be just fine." We've been married 27 years now and I think much of it is due to my grandmother's prayers. At least she got to see our twins before she died..

My friend Nancy lost her husband Jim two years October 7, 2004. We called Jim "baldy" 'cause he was going bald and we'd give him Armor-all for his head. We hadn't seen them in years but I could always pick up the phone and things were just as if we'd seen each other that day. Jim was diagnosed with cancer Jan. 10, 2004 and died that October. Man, I miss him. I think I've been thinking of him 'cause I just got Nancy's Christmas card today.

Finally, a woman who was like a second mother to both Art & amp; I is Gail. When Art & amp; I got married, she was the first woman to treat me like an equal...and considering I was 18...that meant a lot. She's still with us...but not really. She is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. I saw her when I went home to visit my mom this summer....talk about hard. She remembered me..but she wasn't all there. I miss her. She encouraged me when we decided to home school (and she was a school teacher even) and she loved me for many years. I miss our chats.

Peg


----------



## maherwoman (Dec 14, 2006)

Though mine isn't about someone that actually died, I have mourned her quite a lot.

My mother has never gotten past the fact that I was born from her affair on my dad. I went through most of my life living with my dad and my stepmother, who was very abusive to me and my sisters, and wishing every day that I could live with my mother.

When I was 10, we moved in with her, and things were wonderful at first. She was caring, and loving, way beyond the dreams I'd had of living with her while I was a child. Then, about two years after moving in with her, things started to go downhill. She was married at the time (her third or fourth marriage then), and started to have an affair on the poor guy (he was, to date, my favorite stepfather...and the only one that actually gained that title). It seems when I look back on it now, that she started to go a little crazy at about this time.

We moved back and forth between the house my mother and stepfather bought together and the house she bought with the man she was having an affair with...totalling 13 times in my seventh grade year. 

Over the years, things got worse...culminating into extreme verbal abuse from my mother. Things got to the point of her calling me names, tellling me I wouldn't ever amount to anything, telling me no one would ever want to marry me because I was lazy and rude, etc. Things just got worse everyday. 

When I was 19, I got pregnant with my beautiful little girl, and had to move back home (after moving out a couple months after my 18th birthday because my mother and her new husband, the crack addict, were moving over an hour away from our current location, which would have changed my daily commute to work from two hours to three one-way).The abuse then took a whole new turn, then changing it's focus to my daughter, and my mothering skills (to the point where she would laugh when I tried to assert my title as "mother", and tell me I didn't deserve the title, though I have always above and beyond taken care of my sweet girl). She would offer to watch my daughter while I went to work, and then I would come home everyday to my daughter crying while my mother was yelling at her...for things as simple as not standing still enough while my mother tried to bathe her.

Three years ago, I met my husband, and my daughter and I moved in with him. It was at that time that my mother turned my sisters against me as well. I have pain stakingly maintained contact with one of my sisters, but the other I haven't heard from in years (despite many attempts at contact with her).

Over the years, by my mother's own admission, I have learned the truth behind the abuse my mother has put me through. She cannot look at me and not be reminded of her sin against the wonderful man I call my father, and thus has always reacted badly to me and given me the grief she feels she should have herself. At least, this is what I've put together of what happened with her.

I tried for years to resolve things with her, asking her why she had to hate me, why she couldn't just love me like she so obviously loved my sisters. Nothing I ever tried worked, and two years ago, I decided I just had to let her go. Things had gotten so horrible, it was damaging my family as a whole (being my husband, my daughter, and me), and I just couldn't continue to let it happen. I tried keeping her at a distance, and then would get some word from her out-of-the-blue that would be so damaging, it wasn't worth it.

Since stopping contact with my mother, and getting a PO Box and keeping our information from my sisters, and only giving it to people I absolutely trust won't give it to her, we have experienced a few things that serve as reminders as to why we stopped contact with her (such as her calling Child Services after getting a hold of our address with a report of abuse by me, and us keeping food from our daughter, violence in the house, mental illness that doesn't exist, etc.), but otherwise have lived nice, peaceful, happy lives. For once, I have peace and love and happiness.

But I do miss my mother, and mourn for her. I feel like the woman I called my mother died many years ago, and though I know it was the right thing to do, I still find myself missing the woman in those happy, wonderful two years. But I then have to remind myself that woman will never return. 

I only got two years with my mother...and then she changed into someone completely different. I miss that sweet, caring, loving woman who would go so far beyond in doing something for someone that they felt their dreams had come true. She would cook all your favorite foods on your birthday, no matter how complicated.One time, she woke me up and said, "Let's go to Disneyland!", and we went, spent about $200 total that day, and it was by far one of the best memories I have with her. 

It's funny that someone can have two polar opposites like that. I miss my mommy so much, and continue to mourn for her, especially during this time of year, with those few sweet Christmas memories. I miss the person she used to be so much.

In that way, I feel like I've lost my mother, much like someone would lose someone in death...so I felt I should post something in memory of her; sweet, beautiful her.

I miss you, Mommy...and will always hold you dear to my heart. You were such a beautiful person, who gave everything to everyone around you. I will miss you always, and love you more than words could express.

I'm sorry to post something about someone who isn't gone in body, but in my mind, she left in spirit a long time ago.

Anyway, all my love to you guys, and my special love and hugs in your rememberances of your loved ones that you have lost. You are such a special, wonderful family, and I love each and every one of you.

All my love,

Rosie*


----------



## Michaela (Dec 14, 2006)

Oh Rosie, thank you so much for sharing that with us, it must have been sohard for you.

And everyone on this thread that has posted these beautiful, sad messages.ray:

I think it just goes top show what a great, friendly caring forum this is.:group:

I am lucky enough to not have experienced an awful lot of grief in my life, I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's when I was seven, he had been suffering for years from it, I was too young to really understand what was happening, but I know how hard it was for my mother.:cry1: 

We lost him in the September, then just a few months later, my grandmother was diagnosed with Cancer, but her heart was too weak to cope with Chemo, and we lost her the following March, which made things much worse for my mum, losing both parents in a matter of months. :cry1:

I can still remember them a bit, we went to their home every Sunday and my granny always had something nice for us, it was great being able to explore the fields and forests around there, and I miss them more than I realised.

Also my other Granda, who died young before I was born.ray:

Michaela andthegirls:brownbunny:brownbunny:brownbunny


----------



## SweetPeasMommie (Dec 14, 2006)

Oh Rosie, brought tears in my eyes. Very touching. There is nothing wrong with that. All you can do is pray everyday.

I have few more.

My great Grandmother, sweet loving gentlewoman whom we call Granma Tillie. She was very out going, bubbly woman who loves all her grandchildren. She passed away Jun of 97. It was hard on my grandmother that year cause 6 months later her husband (my grandfather I spoke about earlier thread) passed away with a heart attack.

My father, he left us before I was born. He changed when he became a firefighter, smoking weed and drinking all the time with all of his guy friends. That took a toll in his life and left my mom with my 7 yr old sister and pregnant with me. He and my mom was still married but separated. My mom told him that she was going in to the hospital to have me and my father was not there to witness my birthday.

My father is a fun loving man to be with but he never showed a father figure like he should. He would buy us gifts all the time cause he knows that it makes us happy but money don't buy love. I learned growing up that I can get my daddy to love me more by buying me gifts or what I wanted, or get money. It was an excuse to go and see him to try and get him to see us more. I stopped talking to him for 3 yrs, no phone call or nothing. He would never recieve a card from me. But he would send me cards saying Angel please call me. How can I if he could not pick the phone up to talk to me. See how I was. Finally after 3 yrs he called me, we talked things were ok. We started back where we left off. Going up camp, fishing, having fun all over again. I thought he had come back. He proved me wrong. It took me years to let him go, forgive him for who he is.

I have not seen my father since his mothers funeral which was December 24th 2004. I had not heard from him since this jan of 06. I could not send him cards for his birthday, fathers day or Christmas. I know that it is cruel but I just couldn't. Every card I read does not describe my father at all. It all describes to a man I call my father whom my mother remarried to. I feel that my father has long gone left me before I was even born but he is still physicly here real live just an hour away from me.

Dad I still lov you and I will always love you.



This once is my hardest. My sister Christie, I lost my sister in 2001 over stupid fights between my husband to be at the time and her. She just simply hated my husband, made him look bad. she refused to forgive, accept him and invite him as a family. Then we slowly talked again for 2 yrs off and on. Just past june we had a big argument over this again. She would invite me to every parties her kids have but not my husband. I finally threw my hands up and sent her an email. I simply told her that she either accpts my husband and if she don't then she don't accept me. she goes on saying that I am better off without him, etc. Finally I told her that I wash my hands and letting you go. 

It was so hard to do that cause she is my one and only sister, sibling. But I cannot continue to go on. When this all happend I have developed severe IBS from it. I just hope one day we can be reunited again. 

I still pray for you every day Christie, you will always be my sister and I always have loved you. I just hope one day we can be a family again laughing on Christmas like we always did along with your Children Samantha and Justin. Of course your silly hubby Stevie.

Sorry so long.


----------



## maherwoman (Dec 14, 2006)

SweetPeasMommie...That's something I remind myself of everyday...I pray for her often. 

Thank you for your kind words, guys. It means a lot...


----------



## SweetPeasMommie (Dec 14, 2006)

*maherwoman wrote:*


> SweetPeasMommie...That's something I remind myself of everyday...I pray for her often.
> 
> Thank you for your kind words, guys. It means a lot...


Your welcome. It is hard but sometimes you have to wash your hands. I went through it too with my dad and my one and only sister.


----------



## maherwoman (Dec 14, 2006)

Yes, sometimes you have to, for your own health and the health of your family. There are a lot of people (including much of my family) that disagreed (and still do, that haven't talked to me since) with my situation...but I didn't do it for their approval. In fact, I knew I wouldn't have it.My family was more important than their agreement.

I'm so sorry to hear you've been through having to do that as well. It's been incredibly painful, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else! 

But we're happy and healthy now...which is always wonderful. 
*
SweetPeasMommie wrote:*


> *maherwoman wrote:*
> 
> 
> > SweetPeasMommie...That's something I remind myself of everyday...I pray for her often.
> ...


----------



## SweetPeasMommie (Dec 14, 2006)

*You are right, I am much better than I was before. I still ask my mom how she is so I know what is up. She has many medical problems. She is a cancer survivor. She had cancer when she was 18 yrs old and she beat it when she turned 21 I think.*



*maherwoman wrote: *


> Yes, sometimes you have to, for your own health and the health of your family. There are a lot of people (including much of my family) that disagreed (and still do, that haven't talked to me since) with my situation...but I didn't do it for their approval. In fact, I knew I wouldn't have it. My family was more important than their agreement.
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear you've been through having to do that as well. It's been incredibly painful, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else!
> 
> ...


----------



## maherwoman (Dec 14, 2006)

Oh wow...that's incredible! Your mom must be a very strong woman...

A huge HOORAY! for strong women!!


----------



## SweetPeasMommie (Dec 14, 2006)

*maherwoman wrote:*


> Oh wow...that's incredible! Your mom must be avery strong woman...
> 
> A huge HOORAY! for strong women!!


My mom did take this the hardest cause she only has me and my sister outside of my step dad. But she did what I did. Washed her hands. she gets together with my sister her time and gets with me at my time as well.


----------



## gentle giants (Dec 14, 2006)

I have a couple to add.

First, my Grandma Carter. She and I were very close when I was little, I always loved going to Grandma's house. She was a very old-fashioned lady, and she loved to cook. She always made a peach cobbler when we would come to visit, and we would have pancakes for breakfast, the real fluffy ones with the bisquick, or whatever it is. She would always tell me and my brother that she "loved us a hundred million bushels". I really, really wish that she could have lived to see my twins born, she would have loved them so much.

My Grandma Kuhlig. You couldn't have found someone more different from Grandma Carter, LOL. She was a math teacher, and never had any trouble keeping control in the classroom! She was so physically fit, it was incredible. When we would go to visit her, my dad would be helping my uncle farm, and Mom, Grandma, and my brother and I would all go for long bike rides or walks on the country roads. When I was about twelve, she was diagnosed with Alzeimers, and went downhill quickly from there. She spent her last 8-10 years in a nursing home, not knowing any of us. My Mom would go visit her every weekend, and feed her lunch. She never got to know my kids either.

This one is not about my family, but is something that really touches my heart. ONe of my husband's best friends from high school, *Susan, lost her three year old son last year. They had a backyard pool, and even though they had a locked gate around it, he some how managed to get through or around it, and fell in and drowned. They found his little clothes laying by the side of the pool, he had undressed himself before getting in. 
His older sister found him there, as she walked through the yard coming home from school. Less than a month before this, he had been in my living room palying with my twins at their birthday party. God Bless`this family, I can't imagine what Christmas must be like now.

God Bless and keep all those who are grieving.


----------



## AnnaS (Dec 15, 2006)

I would like to remember my grandfather who died from Alzheimer's 2 years ago. At the end he did not really know anybody or where he was. I really miss him and so does my grandma.
My other grandfather died the same year, although I was not very close to him, I still remember and miss him.
Also I want to remember my great grandmother, who died 17 years ago, I still remember and miss her.


----------



## Snuggys Mom (Dec 15, 2006)

Gone but never forgotten....

Thinking of my sister in law, Sharon, who died twelve years ago at the very young age of 30.She wassimply the besthuman being I have ever known. I was much closer to her than any of my own sisters. 

Also my Dad who has been gone nearly twenty-three years now.I was sixteen when he died. His birthday was Sunday. He would have been 79. 

*Do Not Grieve For Me

*


[align=left]*Do not stand at my grave andweep;** 
I am not there, I do not sleep;** 
I am a thousand winds that blow;** 
I am the diamond glints on the snow;** 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;** 
I am the gentle autumn's rain.** 
When you awaken in the morning's hush,** 
I am the swift uplifting rush,** 
of quiet birds in circled flight.** 
I am the soft star that shines at night.** 
Do not stand at my grave and cry.** 
I am not there; I did not die. 
*[/align]


----------



## maherwoman (Dec 15, 2006)

I also wanted to put something on here for my husband's mother. She died of cancer in September of 2000, about seven months after my daughter was born. I never got to know her, as my husband and I hadn't yet met at the time, but everything I hear of her was nothing but the fact that she was a truly amazing woman.

My husband took care of her until the very moment she passed.He was her main caretaker, as her husband was on leave at the time. He and his mother were extremely close...he always has a hard time around the holidays, though he doesn't say anything. He's a very strong man, my husband, but he really misses his mother. 

He has many, many beautiful memories of her, which we share every now and then. And I love to hear each and every one of them...it reminds me that not all mothers are cruel and heartless like mine...that there are true gems of women still out there, raising their children in the most beautiful way possible.

I grieve for his mother right along with him, if only for not having the opportunity to meet her and get to know her, even a little. Just meeting her family and seeing what an amazing man her son is shows me how wonderful she was. They can hardly talk about her without breaking down from missing her.

So, to you, Beautiful Beth...we love you, and miss you so much. I came along just three years too late, and sorely regret it...but I know you look down on us, and come by now and then to check up on your beautiful boy. You are our personal angel.

We love you and think of you daily.


----------



## pamnock (Dec 21, 2006)

Here is an article about those sufferingthrough a "blue Christmas" . . .




*By KRISTEN GELINEAU, Associated Press Writer Wed Dec 20, 2:25 PM ET* 


RICHMOND, Va. - There were no jolly Christmas carols at the Cannon Memorial Chapel. No brilliant poinsettias or festive branches of holly. No smiling faces or hearty wishes of happiness. 

Instead, melancholy piano music echoed through the hushed church. Dead branches were lain on a table covered in blue cloth, representing the "winter of our souls." Men and women held each other and cried.
"This is not a traditional Christmas service," chaplain Kate O'Dwyer Randall said Tuesday, opening the University of Richmond's nondenominational "Blue Christmas" service, which drew around 60 people.

Somber Blue Christmas services are being held at many churches around the country this year, in recognition of what psychologists have long known: that the contrived good cheer of the holiday season can actually make some people who are dealing with heartbreak feel worse. The Blue Christmas services confront feelings of grief and loss head-on.

"Holidays in our culture are often about families, and families are not always happy institutions," said O'Dwyer Randall, who once worked as a grief counselor. "I think that particularly if you're facing a death or a divorce, the 'empty chair syndrome' becomes very real at this time of year."

This is the first Christmas in a long time that 77-year-old Charles Minter Jr. will have to celebrate without Barbara, whom he married 19 days after they met and stayed with for "57 years, four months and three days." In May, she succumbed to cancer.

"I hate the holidays. I see the lights and Christmas I just get the chills," he said. "I hope this is going to help."

Sharon Van de Walle's husband of 40 years died suddenly earlier this month.

"This just is a preparation for Christmas, which is going to be rather difficult," she said tearfully.

"And it's a good place to have a cry and no one will mind," her friend, Anita McCabe, said as she embraced her.

The "Blue Christmas" concept serves an important function for those who have lost loved ones, O'Dwyer Randall said. "The biggest sigh of relief for people who are grieving comes when you name it. When you say, `Hey, you're probably having a hard year.' When you say the person's name, "she said.

Christine Moll, a mental health counselor in Buffalo, N.Y., who has helped two churches develop holiday programs for depressed parishioners, said that all the holiday cheer can make people dealing with death, divorce or family dysfunction feel more out of place, and more miserable.

"All the glitz, the tinsel, and what have you, the decorations, conjure up that we all need to be having some sort of Norman Rockwell experience," she said.

The Rev. Emily Richards, pastor of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Ridgefield, Conn., said there has been a huge response to her church's first Blue Christmas service.

"We have to have the perfect Christmas and we have to be happy this time of yearwhen the reality is that we're not," she said. "This is an opportunity for people to come and be in the presence of God and acknowledge their grief and despair and loneliness and give it to God."

Some churches refer to such programs as "Longest Night" services and hold them on the shortest day and therefore, the longest night of the year. This year, that falls on Thursday.

"I find in my ministry that there's quite a bit of pastoral work to be done in December. It just seems that whatever griefs or pain people have increase in this time," said Rev. Cynthia Maybeck, pastor of the Trinity Church of Northborough, Mass., which has been offering such services for more than a decade. "Everything on the commercials is `Ho,ho, ho, Merry Christmas, such a season of tidings and great joy' and there's a lot of people whose hearts are breaking."



Source:http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061220/ap_on_re_us/blue_christmas


----------

