# I wish that I was single again!



## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I am usually a private person but I am pretty down. When I met my husband I was totally into animals (pet-sitter in Chicago) and actually told him that I liked animals better than people. He promised me that when we moved to Wi. that I could have even more animals (which I have). We have had some significant financial problems here and now he sees the amount of money I spend on the pets. Yesterday my cat peed on the bed ( I think this is disgusting although I could handle a bunny doing it) so I went out and bought a waterproof mattress-pad (like for babies or incontinent adults.) ..he is constantly on me for the amount of water I use to wash the rabbit towels. All my animals eat quality food and I just could not do otherwise. I have practically worn out the washing machine from washing pet blankets and towels. I realize that I am probably an animal eccentric but why did he pursue me if he saw it right from day one? I wish I was single so my pets and I would not be harassed. He doesn't really care about what I do at the shelter...most likely thinks that they take advantage of me (not true). Just had to get this off my chest


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

Aww...I'm sorry! That must be so frustrating, especially since he knew it about you from the start.  I hope things get better!!

Love and hugs!!!

Rosanna


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

Thanks maherwoman....he knew it from the start and exaggerated his interest in animals. He likes animals but nothing like me. One time he set a mouse trap in our house ( after I tried the catch- release boxes which didn't work). I got up in the AM and found a mouse dragging itself around the kitchen with the trap attached and bleeding. I got hysterical as it was so cruel to see that. In stead of being nice he got very angry at me. He makes my love for animals into a negative and I know deepin my heartthat it is the best thing about me.....the ability to feel empathy for even the most insignifant little mouse. I don't believe that humans are superior to animals.....only different.


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## Snuggys Mom (Jul 6, 2006)

*angieluv wrote: *


> I don't believe that humans are superior to animals.....only different.


 I completely understand how you feel. Last week, I freed a beetle I found stuck in a spider's web. I know it's just a bug, but I couldn't watch him struggle. 

I hope things get better for you. My husband gives me a hard time, too, but understands how much my animals mean to me.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I think that my husband understands how much animals mean tome, however, he is extremely concerned with finances. It is really true that I spend almost nothing on myself (clothes, and all that) and almost everything on the animals. How can I not buy them wholesome food and get proper vet care? They are mychildren and it is right to take care of them.. Maybe he is just taking his frustrations out on me. I also have difficulty watchinginsects struggling in webs etc. It is almost as if I can become the insect or animal and feel its struggle. Everything has a right to its life....(except a bot fly larvae..read my thread in the infirmary)


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

Maybe there's something we can do to help with ways to cut down on cost?

What kinds of animals do you have, exactly?

Where do you get your bunnies' food? Where do you get their hay?

What kind of food do they eat?

I wonder if you posted something in the main rabbit forum asking for help on cutting down the cost of your pets, you would get some really good advice. How's about giving it a shot?

We love ya, and we're here for ya!! I'd love to help any way I can!!


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I can tell you right now that this is most hopeless. My rabbit Jacques has cancer and his first surgery cost about $500.00. He is doing absolutely wonderful as far as behaviour, food, and has no symptoms of cancer.The vet said that if the tumor recurs we could most likely take it out again. He has a bonded companion and I have to do this for both of them . When it is time to have surgery again I will actually sneak him to the vet as I know that Jim will say no. I don't want to post this on the general thread but I'll give you an idea of the costs. 6 rabbits,they eat a mix of Kaytee timothy based, Rainbow Exact, and regular alfalfa pellets...in addition to Oxbow hay (bought in 25 lbs bales) and a variety of veggies bought at Walmart. Problem is I have started to bring veggies and sometimes hay and bedding to the shelter as those rabbits deserve a proper diet too. and no one else cares. I have an old greyhound that is on thyroid medication, a middle-aged cattle-dog that is allergic to beef and has to eat lamb and rice products and a young cattle-dog who has no significant costs. I have a 16 yr old cat who needs prescription k/d and thyroid meds and a 9 yr.old cat who has to be on a quality weight loss diet. The African grey food is pretty expensive and the guinea pigs need hay Vitamin C veggies and pellets.Everyone goes to the vet if they need to. After reading this I guess I understand how he feels..however I pay for most of the animal stuff andhe thinks that I should be contributing .to the other bills like...water, heat, gas, groceries (Ido pay part of our mortgage), car insurance etc. I feel that we havetoo many pets however we have them and are responsible for them. He brought 1 dog , and 1 cat into the relationship.


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

Ah, I see what you mean...sounds like most of them have special needs that cannot be cost-cut. I just wish I could help somehow. It actually sounds to me like you've done everything you can to cut costs. 

Hopefully he'll chill out about finances soon. I don't want to offer marriage advice, or anything, so I won't. My husband and I have just barely celebrated our first anniversary, so I don't think I have enough experience to offer advice. Lol. :? Would if I could, though!

Bottom line...we love ya and we're here for ya!  

I'm sure most of us can at least relate to what you're going through...my husband had to put his foot down on rescuing, and then keeping, Flower. But he was happy that we could then go to the feed and tack place that's near us to start saving on bunny costs.

HUGS!! :rose::sunshine::hearts::hug::grouphug:group:heartbeat:group


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I appreciate your understanding. It is really not the rabbits (except jacques) but the older cat and dog and special food and medication. We won't replace the cats when they are gone or the guinea pigs (rescues from Petco) but I always want rabbits and dogs and the bird will outlive me!. Thanks for listening...he was irritable today which prompted this post.


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

You're so welcome, Hun. We are always here for you. That's the thing I love most about this site. When you're feeling badly, there's always someone who will stop and send you love to help you feel better. Hopefully I've at least done that a little for you. 

P.S. I think you're wonderful for having rescued the animals you did, and for loving your animals so much. It's obvious to anyone who reads what you do for them that you've got to be an amazing person. It takes a special kind of person to love animals like that.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

You've helped alot, maherwoman...I almost never talk about things like this with anyone but I do feel comfortable on this site:hug:


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## jordiwes (Jul 6, 2006)

:hug:

I can tell you that I've gone through similar things myself. Where my partner doesn't appreciate what I consider my best qualities (always going out of my way to help others).He looks at it as me taking time and energy away from him. It's tough.

I really admire what you do and if it's a part of you, don't let it go!


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

Thanks jordiwes...when I was single I was never lonely. I really can go into myself with animals and nature. I guess that I appreciate simplicity. I Love taking care of the shelter rabbits..they are as much in my heart as my own rabbits. My husband had a horrible up-bringing and i sometimes Idon't think that he understands. I think that he has a lot of "baggage" and I think that I used to but worked it through.I'll beOK


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

*Aww, great. I'm glad to hear I helped a little. 

I know what you mean...I don't feel like I'll be judged or talked harshly to on this site, and I know that the members here love me, and it's a nice feeling. 

angieluv wrote: *


> You've helped alot, maherwoman...I almost never talk about things like this with anyone but I do feel comfortable on this site:hug:


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## Pipp (Jul 6, 2006)

*maherwoman wrote: *


> You're so welcome, Hun. We are always here for you. That's the thing I love most about this site. When you're feeling badly, there's always someone who will stop and send you love to help you feel better. Hopefully I've at least done that a little for you.
> 
> P.S. I think you're wonderful for having rescued the animals you did, and for loving your animals so much. It's obvious to anyone who reads what you do for them that you've got to be an amazing person. It takes a special kind of person to love animals like that.


 :yeahthat

I'm going through the same thing re: the ridiculously priced cat food that only barely seems to help. (Mine also have weight and food allergy issues). I'm thinking about checking out the costs of putting the problem kitties on thewhole chicken diet that M.E.'s cats are on. (There's a thread about it somewhere). I've always hated the idea of contributing to the gruesome demise of innocentbirds, but the canned stuff they're getting now is probablyless humane.

I've always loved your love of life, Angieluv, you're one of the people I can most relate to on this board, sorry things aren't as easy as they should be for you. 

I've been happily living alone with just my furriesfor a long time, now, by choice, but guys do come in handy -- they canlift things. :wink:



sas and the gang of fur :bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance:


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I think that almost everyone on this site is someone I would like to be friends with (off-computer too.) and it seems to me that everyone on this site really really loves their pets Pipp are you talking about the quality protein diet for kidney disease instead of the low protein k/d diet.? I heard about that but don't know too much about it other than the kidneys have less difficulty processing high quality protein. I actually tried a homemake diet that my vet gave me. It had liver rice, eggs,calcium carbonate ,bone meal and (Ican't remember). It looked really good and my kitty wouldn't touch it. She is very finicky...Pipp are you a vegetarian??? I am thinking seriously about becoming one and recently have been eating things like boca burgers. Maybe if I become a vegetarian Jim will leave mebut then who will carry 4 bags of wood pellets from my car??Now I am getting nasty


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## Pipp (Jul 6, 2006)

Duh, sorry, wrong terminology... raw food diet. Ground up whole, rawchicken. Sounds gruesome and I'm sure the vets are appalled (it will cut drastically into their prescription diet income), but it's a quality natural protein, it's got calcium, good dental benefits, the works. Question I guess is the cost.. 

Here's a thread on it... 

http://rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=12286&forum_id

(I have to go rescue another fruit fly now)  



sas et al


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## maherwoman (Jul 6, 2006)

*You are too adorable...

Pipp wrote: *


> (I have to go rescue another fruit fly now)
> 
> 
> 
> sas et al


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## Maureen Las (Jul 6, 2006)

I really think that the raw food diet sounds healthy but it will take me awhile to read more about it When I was a kid I used to eat Milk Bone dog biscuits to be smart. My dad told me that at those factories they sweep the floors and throw the dirt in with the biscuits ( the point was to get me to stop eating them). It was probably true


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## Lissa (Jul 7, 2006)

I think you're a blessing to those animals. I hope your husband sees this too. I think maybe he does but is just caught up with the cost of caring for these animals? I don't know. We all know how expensive it can get to have pets. Like someone else suggested, try to go out of your way to prove to your husband that you are trying to save on these expenses. Are you still getting that horse bedding from Farm Fleet? That stuff is very good and quite inexpensive.


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## Runestonez (Jul 7, 2006)

Angieluv does your vet already give you a discount? I'm in Ontario, but our vet gives us a multi-pet discount(more than 5 pets)...it's not much...about 5% off services and things like that. But it helps take a bit of the pinch out of med bills! We have 4 bunns and 5 cats right now( I have been warned I will be sleeping outside if anymore show up!! ) and after spending about $100 dollars a month just on hay, I tracked down a farm just outside of town that trains/boards horses. The woman gave us a great deal on baled hay...she picks out the nice grassy ones for us...it is around a 50lb bale I think...I have to get hubby to lift it...for $3!!! Much nicer than driving 45 minutes to the closest store that carried good quality hay! It is super fresh and smells much nicer than the stuff we were buying! The bunns love it too! Our one cat has a problem with protien build up in her bladder and was really prone to bladder stones(she had 2 seperate surgeries for them!) The prescription food from the vet was killing us so we started looking around for brand name catfood with lower protien...which we eventually found for about $10 less a bag. So far 5 years later no more surgeries and she is fit and healthy! Our dog was taking thyroid meds (Hypothyroidism) and then vet told us if we brought back the bottle instead of them having to give us a new one each time, that that would help cut a bit of the cost as well. Do they have generic meds for pets?? We also stash $10 dollars a paycheck away in a seperate account for emergencies(it is sorely depleted now!) but even that little helps offset vet bills! 

Sorry I can't suggest more! Hope some of this helps! He might want to keep in mind you are helping to pay for his cat and dogs care as well as the care for the kids you brought in! He knew you were an animal lover when he married you, I hope it is just the stress of finances that has made him a grouch! Once an animal lover always an animal lover...some things never change! Hugs!


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

Lissa..I Only go to Farm and Fleet and use that bedding. i love that bedding.I also discovered that Woodmans sells Kaytee hay and rabbit pellets forabout 1/2 the price of Petsmart and.Petco.(same brands). I also can get some of my dog food at Woodmans. Petco is the most expensive. I could bring down the costs if I fed everyone cheaper food but I know that it's not good for them. The cats food is expensive but I can't do much about it unless maybe do the raw diet. I am starting to try not to eat meat, myself, and also to buy cruelty free products. but that puts me in a bind too because a lot of those products cost more. Do you eat boca burgers and that soy "meat". I like it better than regular meat because it doesn't make me feel stuffed. What else do you eat?


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

Runestonz..you sound like me. I get Oxbow hay and i know I could get good hay somewhere here because we are surrounded by country.Maybe I could put an ad in the paper saying that I wanted quality timothy hay? Great idea! No, the vets here do not give any discounts(they do rotate free care to the shelter). The vets in this town( inaddition to Physicians,dentists, lawyers) are probably the only people that have money. I came from Chicago where people got paid high salaries and here people barely make anything. The vets herecould be a lot more generous than they are and I don't understand why they are not. Anyway I appreciate your suggestions.


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## Runestonez (Jul 7, 2006)

We had an awful time trying to find plain Timothy hay here...the best I could find was 40% alfalfa blend. Finally I broke down and called a couple of stables to find out where they were getting their hay from. The lady I talked to at the one place grows her own. It isn't timothy it is a blend of 3-4 types of hay and the bunns go wild for it! They actually eat a lot more and I can change their litter more often because I don't have to worry about paying thru the roof for hay anymore! It is too bad your vet won't give you a discount...it's not like you have 1 pet and go to the vet every 2 years or something. I know with our kids we end up at the vet every 3 months at least for something small! Baled hay is a life saver though if you can find any!!! I love it!!


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## Jenni (Jul 7, 2006)

Runestonez offered some great suggestions! Try to find a small feed store and buy hay by the pallette. It is much cheaper that way. Also you can usually find better deals on food at these places, because they sell to ranchers and farmers who buy their feed in bulk.

When I say a feed store, I don't mean Tractor Supply or some chain like that. Find a small, local feed store that sells to ranchersor farmers in your area. Even if you live in a big city, there are still feed stores around, escpecially on the outskirts. It may be cheaper to drivea little more. 

Also, I am not sure why your hubbie is so worried about the water from washing your bunny's towels. It seems that the dryer would burn more cash? If you dry them in the dryer you could start using a clothesline, maybe.

My hubby is a penny pincher and he nags me about money some. We have a budget that we spend on certain things ($100 for clothes or something like that). Could ya'll set a monthy budget for your animals that both of you agree on? If so, save all the receipts from your animal purchases or write them down in a little book. When your hubbie complains, you will be able to show him that you have not gone over budget. He may be worried about money and may just figure you are spending it all, without really knowing if it is really the fact or not. It could be going to other things and just assumes it's the animals.


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## TinysMom (Jul 7, 2006)

First of all - I'm an animal lover too and while I don't have as large a variety of animals as you do - I have enough rabbits that their food bill is almost half as much as the food bill for the two of us (although I am conservative grocery shopper and folks say I don't spend too much). Still yet...it is expensive.

I don't know how long you've been married - it will be 27 years for us in August....and we've been through some financial situations so I sort of feel a bit "qualified" to speak about this stuff...

One thing I've noticed about my husband and some other men...is that they are more "practical" than we are. If they deal with the issues of marriage like money, etc. ~ then they may notice before us if there are problems and show their concern. This can cause a man (or woman) to worry. 

I don't know who does the finances in your family - but let's say (since it is summertime - although you may not have the high electric bills like we do here in Texas right now) - that your husband knew that maybe your electric was in danger of being turned off due to high bills and no money for them. Wouldn't that make him or you anxious?

Or lets say there were things going on at his job and he was worried about either getting a pay cut or maybe losing his job in the future? Do you have a financial cushion you could live off of?

My point is this - finances are often the cause of fights in a marriage (and statistically often a cause for divorce). I really think it is important for both people to work together to set goals and then work towards those goals.

With all that said - is there something you can do to help with the finances so that maybe your husband can start enjoying your animals with you without being so stressed? Can you....

babysit out of your home one or two days per week?

pet sit for others and get paid?

walk dogs and get some extra money?

type up papers for local college students?

edit papers (if you're good at English)?

merchandise in stores (go to www.narms.com to register - PM me and I can talk you through things which you could probably do easily - and sometimes you can pick up jobs that take you just a few minutes but pay $10 - $15 each).

have a yard sale and sell some unnecessary things to help you set aside money for the pets?



These are just a few ideas - perhaps folks can add a few more. 

My point in this post isn't to take sides or to say that your husband is right. But I happen to think that while marriages can have rocky times - if we will take the time to listen to the other person's real concerns behind the words they're saying....that it can make a marriage better as then both partners can come together and work towards the same goal.

I don't think the issue is so much that your husband doesn't enjoy the pets or dislikes them as much as it is that there is something going on that has him concerned. I don't know his age - but I know that when we hit 40 and realized we hadn't even started saving for retirement - it hit us hard and we had a few rocky times as we tried to sort out our priorities. Right now our money is VERY tight as our electric bill last month was almost as much as our mortgage bill (gee - I love Texas summers)...and Art had made a couple of foolish purchases and I was really upset. 

But then I remembered - this is the man I love - and he's forgiven me so many times when I've bought extra rabbits or spent money and put us in a tough spot. So I forgave him and then we sat down and came up with a game plan for making it through this month.

I'm sorry for the very rambly and wordy post. I'm not trying to say that you're wrong for caring for your animals - you give them excellent care. But perhaps if you can try to listen to your husband's concern and see things for a few moments from his side....you can work together to come up with ways to work through this.

BTW - I have a woman coming tomorrow to get some pet quality rabbits from me. What she's paying will ALMOST pay the rabbit's food bill for the whole month of July....so I'm so psyched. (To give you an idea - we go through a 50 pound bag every two days lately).

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers - feel free to pm me if you'd like help in coming up with ideas of jobs you might be able to do - even short term! One year our family worked together to deliver phone books (1997 - in Anchorage, Alaska) - I think we made something like $1000 in 2 1/2 weeks. We were paid per phone book and we had three runners and one driver (me).... It made for long days as we worked when Art would get off work - so basically he was working about 14 hour days those two weeks.....but boy was it worth it! 

Peg


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## Lissa (Jul 7, 2006)

*angieluv wrote: *


> Lissa..I Only go to Farm and Fleet and use that bedding. i love that bedding.I also discovered that Woodmans sells Kaytee hay and rabbit pellets forabout 1/2 the price of Petsmart and.Petco. (same brands). I also can get some of my dog food at Woodmans. Petco is the most expensive. I could bring down the costs if I fed everyone cheaper food but I know that it's not good for them. The cats food is expensive but I can't do much about it unless maybe do the raw diet. I am starting to try not to eat meat, myself, and also to buy cruelty free products. but that puts me in a bind too because a lot of those products cost more. Do you eat boca burgers and that soy "meat". I like it better than regular meat because it doesn't make me feel stuffed. What else do you eat?


 Farm and Fleet has the best prices for pet supplies. In fact, I don't even go to Petco or Petsmart anymore. Both places are way over priced. 

When I gave up meat a year ago, I had already been semi-veg for about 7 years. I had not eaten red meat in 7 years. It was very difficult to finally give up chicken and fish because almost everything you eat it seems like has some sort of animal base (even "vegetarian" soup broths have chicken fat base). I eat a lot of Morningstar Farms because I don't really care for the Boca brand even though they are cheaper. Woodmans has a really good selection. I get the mock chicken burgers. Those are the best. 

I also found a very good recipe for walnut burgers. You can buy walnut burgers at the Peoples Food Coop but they are very pricey. I made homemade ones and they were pretty good too. Let me know if you want the recipe. I can try and find it. I hope I kept it!!

I eat a lot of dark leafy vegetables, fruitsand peanut butter too.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

The problem here is that I am spending it all for the animals..and he would freak out if i showed him the receipts. I buy my jeans from the salvation army for $5.00, never entertain, never take vacations ...and yes my husband is angry about the dryer but all the rabbit towels broke the washer. and I can't have dirty rabbit towels just building up. The problem is that I really have too many pets but I really believe that once i have them they are my responsibility for life. The grey hound is 15yrs old and one cat is 16 yrs. old and recently they have been peeing in the house (old age stuff) and driving me crazy too...but they are not sick enough to be put down as they still have quality of life and I can't put down a pet that has quality of life even it is making more work for me (which it is) When the older animals are gone it will reduce a lot of the spending as they have meds and special food but I am not going to speed up the process. I am not going to replace the older dog and cat....but I always have room and desire for one more bunny:inlove:


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## maherwoman (Jul 7, 2006)

angieluv, I found a site that might be of help to ya! (hopefully) It's a hay exchange site, that has some Canadian places as well (I can never remember where members are located...lol)...

http://www.hayexchange.com/

Let me know if this helps any. It's a site that finds hay near you that's for sale, as well as allows you to post that you need hay. I found it by accident while searching around one time.


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## maherwoman (Jul 7, 2006)

*I agree completely. That's always been my view, too. I don't see how they're different, really, except that they don't have the voice that we do...thus, I see that we have the responsibility to protect them and give them that voice.

I hope someday soon you will be able to communicate to your husband your love for animals in such a way that he fully understands and just lets his issue about finances with animal costs go (while realizing that you do everything you can to cut costs, while still giving them the quality of life they need). Not to mention just understands and stops having an issue with your love for animals. My husband wasn't much of an animal person when I met him, and over time I've gotten him to understand my love for them a bit more. There are times that I have to remind him that he's not being quite nice enough about it, but otherwise, he's pretty good about it. I hope you and your husband reach that place soon, too. 

I think one of the key things is him accepting you for who you are, and realizing that this part of you isn't going to change. He doesn't have to have the same love for animals, just needs to be sensitive to yours. 

angieluv wrote: *


> I don't believe that humans are superior to animals.....only different.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

Thanks maherwoman....I will check that out ..I should be able to find hay around here as we are surrounded by country. JenniThere is a feed store not far from here (I have never been there) but I know that they onlyhave alfalfa pellets. but I should check it out anyway. Thanks


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## maherwoman (Jul 7, 2006)

YAY...I may have finally found something that helped!  Let me know if it finds something near ya! 

Until then, try to relax and be calm about things. I'm sure your husband will come around. He loves you and you love him, and anything can be communicated out. There might just be some basic lack of understanding in this that needs to be communicated, and would resolve things. The key is to communicate without allowing emotions to get the better of the two of you...to communicate about it in a new unit of time, and not allow emotions that past arguments contained to overcome your communication. Does that make sense?

Just thought I would lend a little idea there, and send my love to you both (as well as your animals)! We love you and are here for you!


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## Jenni (Jul 7, 2006)

See if you can buy hay at the feed store too.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

Tinysmom you really hit the nail on the head. When I was single I had fewer pets and worried about my own finances. Now that I am married Jim worries about the money, pays the bills, takes care of the cars, etc. and I sort of mentally float into my world of animals. We lost a lot of money here when we hired a man to restore this old house. He did a small amount of work, took most of the money and took off. Jim has been a wreck since then because we lost thousands of dollars and will never see it again. The state tookthis crookto court for this but after some jail time he was released on huber and took off. We had to hire AND PAY a new person to do the work. I am really not a practical person and if someone else is I am happy to let them take care of business matters. I think that I have lacked understanding of Jim's worry and it shows. Maybe if I talked to him more about that it would help. I can't work full time because of a medical condition that occurred while I was a registered nurse. Nursing is too hard for me now. I started pet sitting part time because I was my own boss and could refuse work that I couldn't handle. I am starting some pet-sitting this summer but still have some concerns about driving on country road at night. Thanks Tinys Mom I think that I have been sort of selfish and not realized it :hug:


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## hummer (Jul 7, 2006)

This may be a little late in the discussion and I am not sure if this was mentioned before but I did see that drying the rabbits towels adds up on your bills. This would take a little time but what about line drying the towels? Not sure about where you are on the map but I am sure that it would help some right? If the weather is not cooporative, is there room in the house, like on the rabbit cages, in the bathroom or the garage? You would just need to make sure you have enough towels to where when some are drying you have others for them to use. 

Unfortunatly that is the only suggestion I can think of, I hope it might help you some. I hope it gets better for you soon!


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## TinysMom (Jul 7, 2006)

First of all, I hope you don't think I was trying to criticize you - as I think your animals are getting great care and I'm happy for you and them. I honestly suspect your husband loves your animals and is just worried about bills.

But there are two ways to make finances better - cut back on spending - and bring in more money.

So here are a couple of ideas that might or might not work for you...

I've always enjoyed your posts - so could you consider writing for some RN magazinse (are there such things)? Maybe even just pieces like "Top 10 Mistakes New RNs should avoid" and "5 Ways to Balance Working and Family Life". 

Or maybe you don't want to write about things to do w/ being an RN....can you take photos of your animals and submit them to a magazine? Perhaps write a short article on them or caring for older animals? 

I am about to get back into freelance writing and I am waiting to receive my Writer's Market guide. I will be glad to look up information for you once I get it and PM you with editor's names for RN magazines or pet magazines or something. Or maybe you can do a search on the web.

You mention the fact that you and your husband lost thousands of dollars from this person who took the money and left. Have you heard suggestions from folks on how you could've avoided it? Well - take those suggestions and write about it - maybe "Three Things You Need to Know Before Hiring a Contractor". 

There is always your local newspaper - could they use an article on something?

I know - I'm stressing writing here - but writing is something you can do from home.

Also, I know that you say you can't work (sorry about that) - does that mean you couldn't work as one of those nurses who goes to patient's homes and takes their blood pressure and stuff and charts it once a week? I forget what that is called. 

Anyway - those are some ideas. Maybe if you can bring in a bit of extra money - it will show your honey that you're listening and do care about his concerns..

Peg


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## Lissa (Jul 7, 2006)

As far as vet bills, maybe it's time to look into pet insurance?


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## Jenni (Jul 7, 2006)

You could also try making a little money selling things on Ebay.


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## Spring (Jul 7, 2006)

I'm sorry that you're having problems. I have a few things that I do that cut the cost for the rabbits for me (It's not much, but every penny saved helps!)

For the hay, I would really try looking around to buy in bales. This is a life saver if you have ltos of rabbits. It is very cheap and will last you awhile (You can also maybe but a bale for the shelter as well?). There has to be some good quality timothy somewhere!

For the towels, I know you've mentioned about washing them ect. For me, If my girls mess up the towels, I just clip the dirty part out with scissors and give them it. Once the towel is all cut up and I can't use it anymore, I buy some new ones. You could also maybe try buying some from value village and just washing them to save the cost on towels? I've started using some of the old clothes I've grown out of for blankies for my girls.

You could also try growing your vegetables in pots or if you have a garden? I've started growing my own greens, and my girls LOVE the freshness of them. Even if I don't have enough growing, the vegetables I get from a farm market are fairly cheap.

I hope you can work things out!


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

I used to be really interested in writing but at this point I think that I will concentrate on pet-sitting as it really agrees with me.


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## Bramble Briar86 (Jul 7, 2006)

*TinysMom wrote: *


> Also, I know that you say you can't work (sorry about that) - does that mean you couldn't work as one of those nurses who goes to patient's homes and takes their blood pressure and stuff and charts it once a week? I forget what that is called.


 Are you thinking of a Visiting Nurse? 

-Ellie


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

:hug:Thanks for so many suggestions everyone:wave:I thought of something funny yesterday when I was at the laundromat with the blankets the cat peed on and all my rabbit towels. First of all I would love to hang my clothes outside and that would be easy to do,however, my rabbit towels look like swiss cheese and the neighbor would think we REALLY are destitute if I hung those rags in the yard. I was thinking that I could buy a bunch of bath towels, wash cloths and hand towels and give them to the rabbits. Then I would start a business....it would be trendyshabby chic towel sets (Like the clothes out now all ripped and without hems) and my rabbit s could do the work for me.


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## Spring (Jul 7, 2006)

Hehe! Cute! Ughh. I hate that style. I go to buy new jeans, and they look like my old jeans! I could wear my tor up old jeans and look like i've paid $70 for some style.. so silly .


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## Maureen Las (Jul 7, 2006)

I have an Ill/ Nursing License and when I got the papers to apply for a Wi. liscense they asked specifically about any health conditions that could affect your ability to work. Since I have a health condition that affects my ability to sustain activity I felt that if I was honest that I couldn't get the liscense anyway. Nursing pays well but I'd much prefer to do something else.


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## BACI (Jul 7, 2006)

Have you checked into working for insurance companies, vet office, or any type of job that you could use the knowlege you have from nursing but not the back breaking labor. I injured myself at work and have to find something else to do as well so I have been looking for something that I can do without having to go back to school. My point is that maybe you can find something that makes you as happy as nursing used to. It takes a special caring person to do that type of job. Have you checked into Dr offices part time. I know you mentioned that you will be petsitting over the summer, you may want to post index cards at the shelter where you work as well as local vets to drum up business. I used to work with someone that did that as a side business and it made so much money she quit working at the hospital. She loved it. I know when we have had family emergencies we have hired people to come to our house to care for our pets and it was so much better than a kennel. 

On the other hand we looked thru the RO reference section on hay and found links to some farmers where we could get grass hay. I have started buying grass hay from a farmer and mixing it with the oxbow to save on costs. Interestingly enough they prefer the grasshay. Check the classifieds in local papers as well. I was totally against plain grass hay and used to have oxbow shipped. I shop around for less expensive veggies sometimes aldi(not sure if you guys have those), small local stores and Meijer have good deals. I buy horse pellets at a local feed store for $6/50lbs.

As far as the dogs/cats petco has cheaper vaccinations on Sundays. Our local animal control does the same thing -cuts down on vet bills for the regular stuff. 

good luck, hope this was helpful not overwhelming. I admit a bit unorganized as my 5 yr old won't stop asking me questions as I type.


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## heavenlyshelties (Jul 7, 2006)

((HUGS)) Don't let him get you down. He's just worried about financial problems. I know how both sides feel. Due to financial reasons I had to sell and find homes for half my sheltie breeding stock. It was so hard because even though I was a breeder they were are pets, they stayed in doors with us and never slept outside of the house. I would sit down with him and explain to him how you feel and hear him out to. I hope things get better ((HUGS))!!


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## Maureen Las (Jul 8, 2006)

heavenly shelties...I think that it's very sad that you had to sell your dogs..much worse than my complaints ...........


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## Maureen Las (Jul 8, 2006)

Baci.. I was a psychiatric nurse for many years. I worked in a locked impatient hospitalunit with chronically severely mentally ill people. I worked very hard at my job but it wasn't until after I had to quit that I realized how stressful it was. I felt that I really had the ability to help people but that it was extremely draining for me.I really want to stick with anything to do with animals. mainly because it makes me feel good. I was a pet-sitter in Chicago for a few years and I absolutely loved it. I didn't take care of large dogs but only smaller pets so it wasn't so physicallydemanding. At that time I was getting disability so I had some income besides the pets. Its best for me to do something where I have control of my own schedule...Thanks for theideas about the hay..if i try i should be able to find some and mix it with oxbow..thats a good idea. The things thats I've talked about on this thread are not new problems ..I just never talked about them on RO. I am basically a happy person but sometimes my husband knows exactly the wrong thing to say to me and that was yesterday. I am just amazed that so many people responded to this. I love RO!..bunny lovers are kind and I value that trait over all others.


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## heavenlyshelties (Jul 8, 2006)

Angieluv - It's sad but it was what was best for the dogs. They are in good loving pet homes now and are being spoiled rotten even more than I spoiled them. Sometimes we just have to do things we don't want to do, but I know someday I will start over.  ((HUGS)) to all that have had to overcome problems in their life. Every day I say to myself that things can only get better. I may not have all that I started out with and I have hit rock bottom compared to where I was three years ago. I know thought that with my kids, my husband and my loving pets that we will only see better things to come in the future. It will just take time to recupirate and rebuild. 

((HUGS)) I do hope things get better between your husband and you. Sometimes men just don't think before they speak ( not to bash on men because I know some wemon who have the same problem trust me ). ((HUGS)) I am here if you want to talk.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 8, 2006)

Are you breeding and selling you remaining dogs or did you need to give it up?


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## heavenlyshelties (Jul 8, 2006)

I have my best breeding female and our very first sheltie that is not a breeding dog, she's pet quality. They are the only two I have left and I am not breeding them at the time. I probably wont breed dogs again for many many years. It takes time to get a good kennel set up and to find the right stud. I am living in a mobile home right now (lost my house due to my husbands illness - brain tumor - and him unable to work yet unable to get disability oddlly enough) and until we live in a house again with acerage and are financially secure I wont even consider looking for a stud. I am hoping that in three years we'll be more set financially and we can start looking for a new house. 

I can recommend some good breeders though if anyone is interested in shelties. I have spoken with many over the past years. I don't know anything about breeding rabbits ( miffy is just a pet ) but breeding dogs was not something to easily jump in to. So many people think it's sticking to dogs togather and waiting for babies but there is so much more involved and it's a long, costly procedure that can leave you heart broken and broke if things don't go right.



Spring and Summer are the names of my two remaining dogs and we will be keeping them.  (both females) 

((HUGS))


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## Maureen Las (Jul 8, 2006)

Life sounds difficult for you right now. I just wanted to ask you something about your husbands inability to get disability. If he applied for Social Security disability by filling out forms and mailing them in and received a denial.. that does not mean anything. Social security denies almost everyone on the form. What you need to do is get advice from a good lawyer that specializes in assisting people in getting disability. He will most like to tell you to appeal the denial and then they will probably deny him again. At that point the lawyer will get involved and their may be a hearing after your husband sees a social security physician. It is a long process. Your husband should be paid back pay for the lenght of time that he was unable to work and the lawyer will take a fairly small amount of this. I was very ill in the early90's, bedridden, unable to work and even unable to fill out the forms (my mom had to do it. I had been warned about Social Security and expected a denial but appealed, got a great lawyer, had a court hearing and was granted the disability. Your husband will get it if he persists.


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## BACI (Jul 8, 2006)

heavenlyshelties- Angie is so right. My mom used to be a social worker and said always apply more than once. I have talked to people who applied several times before actually getting it. Persistance pays off. I half wonder if they figure people will give up after they say no once and my other guess is that it all depends on how many people they happen to have on the list at the time that they are paying. I have heard that from govt employees but am not sure if it is true. 

Either way the SS office has their own physician so even if his physician does not think he cannot work tell him to go there to apply or you can do it online or by phone. Atleast to get started. Good luck


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## muchloveforbunny (Jul 8, 2006)

im sorry your husband is giving you a hard time. i saw that a lot with my parents. they were so different and winded up getting divorced. 

but i can tell you, i think allmarriages have a bit of that, esp when it comes to money. like actually, right now i should be in california, where we are moving, but instead i insist on staying three weeks alone with the cats and rabbit to be sure that they are safe, until the movers are out of here and all the detasils are wrapped up. i might even end up driving which is a significant risk to myself, just so i know they are safe.

they cant be brought toCA yet, because there are so many details we are tying up and no one to take care of them consistently there, like i can here. its frustrating for us both. but you know what? theyre my babies. not my real babies, but i think of them as my little babies. so we wait three weeks. i guess thats the way life goes. its hard sometimes.

i hope things are better. you sound like a very sweet, caringperson. money strain can bring out the worst in marriage. i hope your ship comes in real soon.


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## gentle giants (Jul 9, 2006)

Hey, something you can do to make money from home is sell Avon. I am a rep myself, and I was sceptical when my DM told me how easy it was. It's true though. 
I am in much the same position that you are with your hubby. He doesn't understand about me spending money on my animals either. I can kinda understand about his side on the finances, though, and we are trying to compromise on the spending. He takes care of the bills and the like the same as your hubby, and I tend to sometimes forget about those things. Thankfully, we don't have any really special needs animals. 
I can only say, I hope that you and your Hubby can get past this. It is very stressful to have to watch every penny, and write out the bills hoping you will have enough to cover them. I see you side very easily also, though, I am an animal nut too. I hope that you feel better after hearinf from all of us, sometimes all you need is a shoulder, even if it is a virtual one! LOL


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## Maureen Las (Jul 10, 2006)

gentle giants ..........undesrtanding me helps me a lot. I would give up every thing for thepets which I guess puzzles him. I would do more right now if I could


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## Greta (Jul 10, 2006)

*angieluv wrote: *


> I used to be really interested in writing but at this point I think that I will concentrate on pet-sitting as it really agrees with me.


 I'm a pet sitter, and I think it's a great thing to do. You basically enjoy spending time with animals and get paid for it. It can really cheer you up. The pay can be pretty good, too. During a busy time, I can have 3-6 jobs and earn $300-500 per week.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 10, 2006)

When I was pet-sitting in Chicago (just part-time) I just loved to wake up every morning. I just loved being outside all the time and everything about it.


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## BACI (Jul 11, 2006)

Angie - I know you did not expect such a huge response but I was thinking about you while I was cutting my dogs nails and of course he leaked on the wood floor - alas his mom forgot his meds. I give him "leaks no more" a natural homeopathic remedy I purchased online but you can get it at an organic food store cheaper. PM me if you want and I will give you the ingredients that help incontinence. Yes even if it is an older dog. Maybe this would help relieve some stress too.

good luck,

:hug2


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## Maureen Las (Jul 11, 2006)

My older dog and cat don't "leak" urine..they just pee in the house. Every night I place a huge plastic dropcloth over the furniture and every morning I find a puddle of urine on the plastic from our 15 yr. old greyhound. I'm not sure that homeopathic meds would work ...its really not incontinence(which I would define as having no bladder control) Today we took our 16 yr old cat to the vet as she develloped a severe eye problem over the weekend. Because of her multiple illnesses and now the eye she most likely will not be with is too much longer. I think that the older animals with their meds and special food and wetting in the house sometimes "gets" to me.I'm basically doing better..Jim has been nicer and I will do my first rabbit-sitting job starting this week. Thanks for thinking of me.


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## BACI (Jul 16, 2006)

GREAT!!! Let us know how it turns out. I was just doing reading a rabbit magazine I have that had article on kennels vs inhouse pet sitting vs person living w/rabbit while you are out of town. What works best for rabbits is petsitter in house. The least disruptive and stressful for bunny. I am invisioning business cards for you already. Hey if you decide this works for you PM me I would be glad to help. There are programs where you can do business cards on you computer for cheap. Don't tell me you can't do them........... If I can anyone can. :goodluck


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## BACI (Jul 16, 2006)

OK, so you got me thinking again - cut that out, kidding. I am not sure if you told me this already and I hate to go on again about the older pets. but........

Have you had the greyhound since he was a pup? Some people paper train them when they are pups and you could leave newspaper on the floor at night and eliminate the problem or my mom picks up her dog water around 7 or 8pm so her dog won't go in the house at night. She gets up at 6am to let him out again. Just a thought.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 16, 2006)

Hi Baci...the greyhound ZIP was actually a racing dog that was adopted by my husband when he was about 4 yrs. They adopt them out if they are not good runners (or do other horrible things to them like sell them to research companies or euthan ize them). Greyhounds make excellent pets as they are gentle, how ever because they have such long legs they need some special features in the home..like a big very soft bed (as they are very lean) and rugs to prevent them fro slipping on slick floors. Our grey hound can not ride in a sedan but must ride in an Suv or covered truck as he stands up when we ride. Because of his age he can not do stairs anymore. My husband has to carry him upstairs at night to sleep as the first floor is new and the 2nd floor (where Ikeep the buns) is not redone. We are afraid he will wet downstairs so when we leave the house we carry him up so he will be in the room where I have the plastic laid out. I can't carry him as he is too heavy and long and I am small so to take him out frequently at nite is not easy. I feel that because of his age 15yrs. it is easier to do what we are doing . He is more like a colt (long legs) than a dog when it comes to handling him. Thanks for thinking about it Baci


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## BACI (Jul 17, 2006)

You are awesome!! I always wanted to adopt one when I saw the rescues at Petsmart but I have never had a fenced in yard. I will soon but I have a dog that has made it clear he is the one. He loves his boy, bunnies and harrasses the cat but wants to be the only dog. 

Hang in there Angieluv, there is a special place for people like you. I used to get teased by my family because of all the rescues I had but you take the cake. LOL

I once rescued a old dog whose owner was taken away by ambulance and the dog left in her trailer for days before the neighbors checked on her. This poor old lady's daughter did not even go to check on the dog in the middle of winter. She mentioned to me that she wondered what ever happened to the dog so we went over there and the neighbor finally had found it under the owners bed cowering. It had not eaten in a week, the neighbor had checked the day after the owner was taken to the hospital but the dog was so scared it did not come out. 

when the owner was home she fed the dog meals on wheels because she did not like them so the dog had rotten teeth, matted hair and was skin and bones. She would growl for the longest time if anyone went near her. Poor thing. I spent so much on vet bills, nebulizer treatments etc when I first got her. But after that she was soooo loyal. Rescues pets are the best.


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## Maureen Las (Jul 17, 2006)

Thanks Baci..the most bizarre things I have done (when I was in Chicago) . I once took a crow home on rollerblades. It couldn't fly. It died be fore we could get it to the wild life center. Once I found a dead opposum. Since they are marsupials (carry babies in pouches) she had three very tiny babies in her pouch that were alive. I took them out of her carcass and took them home . They were so tiny they looked like little lima beans. I just couldn't stand the idea of that these babies were suckling on a dead mother..........death sentence. I called a wild-life expert who told me to put them next to a hot water bottle ina towel and took them to a wild life center. I don't know if they lived or not. If you think that I am extreme ..my best friend in Berwyn Ill. is way more extreme than me..she is constantly rescuing everything. In terms of pets I think that any animal from a rescue most times is a better pet than from other places. I like mixed breed dogs better than pure bred as they often don't carry the health problems of one breed alone. and to be honest I like the variety of appearances in mixed breeds....except maybe collies and german shepherds which I think are awesome looking purebred (although most german sheherds get hip dysplasia)


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## Maureen Las (Jul 17, 2006)

Oh I forgot my rabbit sitting job went really well. it was THurs until today. The woman works at the shelter. I am going to have her tell her friends about me for pet-sitting and also use the shelter as a reference.


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