# I had to let Musti go...



## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

Some of you bunniers know that my lop boy Musti was battling with a knee disease bulge and sadly, we had to let him go. We didn't want to put him trough the torment of having either an amputated leg or a chance of the disease returning/him passing away on the table. The vet was really nice and talked us through all of the options. Sadly she said that Musti would never heal to normal even with treatment as his joints had been destroyed by the illness. So we thought about it real hard, i wailed and sobbed a ton, gave him my final hugs and kisses, he directly licked away my tears, and with a broken heart, let him peacefully enter forevermost sleep. I feel like that was the best thing for him. 



We got to take him home for burial and dad will give him a gravestone with his very own picture engraved in it.

May he forever rest in peace. I'll never forget him. Ever.


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## TheBuns (Jun 6, 2020)

I’m sorry for your loss  he’s in a better place know. I’m sure he had the best life he could ever ask for.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

Thank you!


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## Nancy McClelland (Jun 6, 2020)

We're so sorry for your loss--even when it's the right thing to do it hurts and leaves a hole in your heart. Rest in peace little man and binky free.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

Thank you!


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

Nature doesn't stand an empty spot and neither do i, so my dad allowed me to pick myself a new buddy from the person we had gotten Musti from. The new boy is such a sweet little fellow. Still afraid of the new home but i'm sure i'll learn to love him as much as i love Musti.

A picture of the little booger for those who are wondering.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)




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## Apollo’s Slave (Jun 6, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss!


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## Cottontail1978 (Jun 6, 2020)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

Thank you!


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## BunBun71 (Jun 6, 2020)

I'm so sorry. 
I will be praying for you.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2020)

I will also be sincerely hoping that Musti will forgive me for putting him to rest but i just felt like, as he sat in my lap when came the time to tell our decisions, he ground his teeth real hard to me. He licked my tears and kept grinding his teeth to me. My dad, the vet and i could all hear it very loudly. That, i felt like, was his sign to me not to worry, not to cry, and to let him go his way, free of the pain. I felt like he was showing me how much he hurt, how much he couldn't bear it and how much he'd be missing us. But he was telling us to let him go. After that moment, i had abandoned all thougjts of the risky treatments, and given him a pass to live his life healthy across the rainbow bridge


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## elliem (Jun 6, 2020)

So so sorry for your loss - binky free Musti


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## Mac189 (Jun 6, 2020)

I'm so sorry for your loss, you gave him so much love!


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## koalasoom (Jun 7, 2020)

i am so sorry. This is really upsetting but I’m so glad that you got to be with him and rest him peacefully. 

Wishing you all the best xx


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

Thank you all!


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## Mehidk (Jun 8, 2020)

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

Thank you!


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## Out of this world bunnies (Jun 8, 2020)

Catlyn said:


> View attachment 48414


is he a french lop? i loooove frenchies!


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

Out of this world bunnies said:


> is he a french lop? i loooove frenchies!


Yeah, both Musti and Väike Poiss are pure-breed french lops!


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

We went to another breeder before going back to the same one Musti came from. The other breeder had no lops. I saw those really cute black rabbits but they lacked the "charm" of loppity eared rabbits so we still decided to go for a lop.


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## Remy The Rabbit (Jun 8, 2020)

I'm very sorry for your loss. Musti sounded like a happy, affectionate, and overall wonderful rabbit. Musti looked adorable in all those pictures!


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## Out of this world bunnies (Jun 8, 2020)

Catlyn said:


> Yeah, both Musti and Väike Poiss are pure-breed french lops!


aww! i have a french lop too! I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your new baby is a sweet comfort.


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

He's not sweet just yet-he hates everything from carrots and beets to his pellets. He needs more time and love i suppose.
Musti really was all that you mentioned, @Remy The Rabbit and he was even more than that! Looking back in hindsight, his life could've been saved if we'd done more research on the vets we were taking him to.
So he got limps in the very end of march. We went to our local vet for an antibiotic and painkiller cure ( about two weeks) then they said they couldn't help us so we contacted a vet in Tartu, our second biggest city. We sent the xray pics on 13-14th april and on those pics his knee and joints were all healthy. We waited for a week in line and went. Musti had a shot and was sent back home. We were told that the knee would heal by itself and phisyotherapying it at home was a big no-no. That was a grave errorthatwe trusted that doc without questioning it. Perhaps we were blinded by the thought that all vets in a more proffessional city were professional. That was when we made the mistake of going back to the same vet. They did him another shot a week later. We waited for another week and as nothing changed we called around other reputable vets in the area. The university clinic said that the pro of their rabbit care was full and directed us to a clinic where the vet also worked. We wrote there and had to wait in line for three weeks and after we went there, we came home with a corpse and a new rabbit. In hindsight, it could've all been prevented and Musti could've lived if we hadn't trusted that one vet.....


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

So in short, he got hurt in the end of march, he was saveable up until maybe a month after that and the next two months that we stumbled across vets he was already beyond saving...


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## Catlyn (Jun 8, 2020)

And because of that, i can't help but think why we didn't know or do better when we had the chance??? Why didn't we question the vets more? Why didn't we? And i cannot help but cry as i wonder how happy i would be if Musti would still be with me, only if he were alive.....


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## Catlyn (Jun 11, 2020)

Yey, the young boy is slowly accepting me! He came to nudge me once and now allows gentle body pets when he eats, he no longer backs away! He's also got a name, Storm! Thanks to @Remy The Rabbit for the suggestion!


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## Remy The Rabbit (Jun 11, 2020)

Yay! You named him Storm! I'm glad you like it!


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## Catlyn (Dec 9, 2020)

Yesterday was the half-year mark. I was scrolling through all the posts i could find about him, and had a crying marathon. I miss him so much...


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## HalaBuns (Dec 9, 2020)




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## AVIE (Dec 9, 2020)

Hugs


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## BunBun71 (Dec 10, 2020)

I am so sorry. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2021)

So, today is the sixth. One year has passed, and i miss uou to death. I still cry when i talk to you, of you, to anyone. i feel a mixture of sad and joy looking at pictures of you, remembering the kissy cuddly personality, all the tattered bedsheets and the massive amount of hay that you consumed. All the times when you were secretly asking for help but too rabbit-esque to openly show it, when i was too inexperienced to notice it, and the crippling feeling that you should still be here with us, but won't, the gnawing feeling that i could've done more, tried a bit better, caught onto the red flags just a bit earlier. But i didn't. 
Oh well, it was the past, i regret it, i feel bad for it, but i know that despite all the hics, errors and the missed signs, i loved you to bits and you loved me back as much, if not even more. I couldn't imagie a better rabbit than Musti-big and floofy, friendly, social, pretty and cuddly, huggable and super handleable, curious and active, funny and caring- to show me the ropes of rabbitry, it was all because of you that Storm lives with us, indoors at that, and had a companion, even if it was for a short time, and i appreciate it, i thank you for it so much. In the end, i did my best, and that's all that matters.
I broke my promise, saying that i'd tell you every day how much i love you. But i know that you understand even without me telling you all the time, like a parent knows they're loved without the kid reminding them.
My dear Musti... There will be none like you.


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## Madelyn L. (Jun 6, 2021)

Catlyn said:


> So, today is the sixth. One year has passed, and i miss uou to death. I still cry when i talk to you, of you, to anyone. i feel a mixture of sad and joy looking at pictures of you, remembering the kissy cuddly personality, all the tattered bedsheets and the massive amount of hay that you consumed. All the times when you were secretly asking for help but too rabbit-esque to openly show it, when i was too inexperienced to notice it, and the crippling feeling that you should still be here with us, but won't, the gnawing feeling that i could've done more, tried a bit better, caught onto the red flags just a bit earlier. But i didn't.
> Oh well, it was the past, i regret it, i feel bad for it, but i know that despite all the hics, errors and the missed signs, i loved you to bits and you loved me back as much, if not even more. I couldn't imagie a better rabbit than Musti-big and floofy, friendly, social, pretty and cuddly, huggable and super handleable, curious and active, funny and caring- to show me the ropes of rabbitry, it was all because of you that Storm lives with us, indoors at that, and had a companion, even if it was for a short time, and i appreciate it, i thank you for it so much. In the end, i did my best, and that's all that matters.
> I broke my promise, saying that i'd tell you every day how much i love you. But i know that you understand even without me telling you all the time, like a parent knows they're loved without the kid reminding them.
> My dear Musti... There will be none like you.



We will always remember his time with us


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## BunBun71 (Jun 6, 2021)

I hope he will have a good hopi'n life in bunny heaven


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## Nancy McClelland (Jun 6, 2021)

I come here and celebrate each of our Rainbow bunnies on the anniversary of their passing--as long as I can remember them, they aren't completely gone.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2021)

Nancy McClelland said:


> I come here and celebrate each of our Rainbow bunnies on the anniversary of their passing--as long as I can remember them, they aren't completely gone.


Apparently, so do I. To the best of my ability, at least.


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## BunLover (Jun 6, 2022)

How are you doing @Catlyn?


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2022)

Today is once more the sixth of june.
My dear boy, i have so much i could've shown you. I could've given you so much more than what you had.
But what you had and had not, these pushed me to further improve the other bunners' lives.

We're still struggling with some things, like amounts of snacks and fresh greens.. 
I still remember your iron body that could take a crazy load of crap mum fed you. Like half the watermelon peels in one serving. I remember you having digestive issues only once, when you were already ill and weak. You had what in hindsight was probably very close to true runny stool, but that's not what got you.
I've fully come to terms about your departure, though i'm still crying as i write. At least i'm able to talk about you without opening the tear taps, every other time or so.
That still doesn't reduce the love that i felt, and still feel for you.
My other sweet boy is also right by your side. I'm still fantasizing how you would've made the perfectest pair for one another and me as well.
I never told you that your stonefront popped me some wild lemongrass, did i?
See you next year, my boy.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2022)

BunLover said:


> How are you doing @Catlyn?


Doing in what terms? Regarding him, much better. Regarding other things, not so much.


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## BunLover (Jun 6, 2022)

Catlyn said:


> Doing in what terms? Regarding him, much better. Regarding other things, not so much.


Now that Musti has been gone for almost 3 yrs, Sorry if this made you sadder.


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## Catlyn (Jun 6, 2022)

BunLover said:


> Now that Musti has been gone for almost 3 yrs, Sorry if this made you sadder.


No need to say sorry, it doesn't sadden me any more than i already was, it's just a fact that he's been gone for two years now. I've come to terms with it. Though i still miserably failed at not crying when writing today's entry, but i think it just goes to show how much he still means to me.


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## JBun (Jun 7, 2022)

You never forget, but the pain of missing them does become less acute over time. I still miss my little Dash, and hope I get to see her again one day.


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## Nancy McClelland (Jun 7, 2022)

I visit each one on the anniversary of their departure--I still tear up, but I also feel joy when remembering all the good times we shared and all the antics--our avatar Nikki loved to lay on the tile floor behind the toilet--it was cool and gave her the illusion of privacy--one of my many happy memories and I even have pics on my screen saver.


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