# Diary of a MAD housewife



##  (Jul 6, 2005)

This Morning started out as fairly normal ( well for this house anyways ) .

It all went south right aboutthe time I am getting my first cupof coffee ! Hubby yells from the bedroom," what the H888 Is this , I go lookand ewwwwwwwww some kittyhad thrown up everything it ate lastnight , turning green i walkout and leaveit there till I can getenough coffee going to be able to handleit .
I wander back into the diningromm and holy crap CAT FIGHT!My Kitten was backed into a corner and Mydaughters cat was beating thetar out of him , Off comes theslipper and the biggercat gets the BOOT! , ok 2 crisises downcoffee time , go into the kitchen tomake that desperately needed first cup . and thelitter box is allover the floor :shock:,argggggggggggggg , stop a minute sweep itup dump hte pan refill , grapcup , pour the coffee run likethe wind for the dinning room before Ispot something else , Plop down on thechair I get the cup almost tomy mouth Hubby yellsWHere are my Pants?"""" mumbling under my breath" How the heck do I know Iwasnt wearing them last night " he yells back WHAT??" ( sigh ) Never Mind , go into thebedroom get him a clean pair , sneak backout to get that coffee! dothe slinky eyed look ahhhhh no onelooking Slurp up that firstneeded mouth full and WHAM!!!! Big catchases Kitten acrossed my foot ! coffeegoes everywhere including up my nose andout onto the table , , Grab up Kitten andolder Cat by the scruff of the neck, one goes into a carrier theother gets locked into the cupboard.There dang it , .

Or So I thought .....

BY this time all 4 kids are upand fighting .. I calmly walk over to theSterio and click on hte CD player , pusha few buttons and start her up . Volume maxxedout: first few cords of Rob Zombie starts to play .up jumps the hubby the daughter herboyfriend and all 4 kids , My daughterLooks at everyone and says UH OH ! who Peeved heroff this time , She quicly satthe 4 kids down and made thembe quiet , Hubby got hisown coffee and He and the Boyfriendvery quickly left for work ahalf hour early &gt; . My daughter calmly walksover shuts down the sterio andsays were up now , I looked at her andsaid Good take care ofyour brats . 

Now by this time the coffeescolder than Iced ,I walkover put itintothe micro wave start it up andPOP , ( sigh ) Blew a breaker , Put on Lifeline go into kids roomand fix hte breaker , come backout , turn onthe microwave Nothing !!!! dang thingquit , died commited suicide ,whaaaaaaaaaaa I still dont havecoffee , Back to the sterio , oh theheck with it not worth the aggravation ofa headache. go sit down , 

I hear swish swish scufflescuffle , what the heck ! I lookover and Heres Ford ( kitten )doing laps around the litter box, cat litter is flying everywhere , I goover remove him from the box ,no more than come back in and sitdown and again swish swish ,scuffle scuffle , grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr , go backout and say HA! I'llfix you , go outside and getthe litter pan cover , comeback in cover it , there alldone , ( oh who hte heck am Ikidding here ) , Kitten decided he didntlike the cover , so he very carefullyreaches in and scoopsout pawsfull of litter onto htefloor then Pees on it ! All thiswell before 9 am ,

I think I am going to go fishing, just my luck I will hook a big one andit will drag me in today .


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

I'm sorry but that was hilarious. I so hate those kinds ofdays. I'm having one of myown today.Thank God thisjob is only for another 2 days or I might lose my mind.

Let me explain, the companymy landlord works for shutdown for the week.I am the temporary answering service. Ithought hey no biggie, I have my cordless phone and the mesage padright. Yea the cordless died yesterday. So know I am chained to thehouse and the phone from 6 am-6pm.

People get mad when they find out an asphat company is closedin the summer. I know this because I've lost count of how many peoplehave told me so and not alwaysnicelyeither:X:X:X

I got no sleep because I kept waking up and checking onPenny.Go to fix mycoffe and wow there's no creamer.Dale's sleeping and I can't leave.grrrr

I finally sneak off to the store and get creamer and wow thereis only enough coffee left for half a cup, wonderful. Feed and waterthe bunns and Hopi is kicking litter out at me.:X

Apollo starts thumping for attention. He gets the Punkins in onit so now I have all three and these aren't tiny bunns. Sounds likethey are bringing the house down.:shock::shock::shock:

The phone has been ringing off the hook and not one person hasleft a message. Mitzy and Tinsel run from me because there scared I'mgoing to clip their nails again. The Nibblets are kicking littereverywhere after seeing how much fun Hopi was having.

I still have the house to clean, cages to clean and play time still and it's only noon.

Calgon take me away.

Tina


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##  (Jul 6, 2005)

Im Thinkingits going to take moreCalgon then they can manufacture in a lifetimeto fix this day , :laugh::fishing:


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

I don't even have the time if Calgon didshow up, it would be quickly ushered out the door by a bedraggled womanwith a phone attached to her ear.

I am so ready for Friday night. I am so NOT cooking. It's pizza and pop and paper plates. 

Can we go to bed and try this again.

Tina


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## irishmist (Jul 6, 2005)

OMG you two!... I thought my days werebad. Well now I have to clean my computer screen cuz nowthere is pepsi all over it when I choked reading yourp posts!

Here's hoping your day goes better than mine LOL

Susan


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

I tell ya if I don't laugh I'll screamand I can't do that. Then I'd have all seven thumping me. I for one amgoing to bed early.

I've had to clean the computer screen for that same exact reason many many times lmbo.

Tina


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## Zee (Jul 6, 2005)

Gypsy &amp; Tina,

Sorry guys, but that's made be really laugh.


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## CMiska (Jul 6, 2005)

Ohhh I do so hate those days when the firstthing you can think of when chit hits the fan is where is my bed andwake me up tomorrow. Sorry you guys got a chuckle out of thatand I havent yet had my first cup of coffee. Think I willwait till I finish reading this and then grab my coffee. Hopeyour week goes by better.


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## TinysMom (Jul 6, 2005)

Some mornings it just doesn't pay to get out of bed...

Peg


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

Oh this day just keeps getting better and better.

I went to get the chickens dinner ready and the bag had a holein it. Christa was the only one back there. So I just had 100 pounds ofcracked corn and chick starter all over the kitchen floor. So as I'mcleaning it up and grumbling to my self the phone rings. Drop what I'mdoing run and answer the phone. It's a telemarketer grrrrr. Politelytell her I'm not interested and she "Fine then" and hangs up onme.:shock::X:X

Go back and continue sweeping and the phone ringsagain

.Drop everything and answer the phone, sorry the offices are closed. Iwould be more than happy to take down your name and number( yearight)and they will get back to you on Monday or Tuesday. Iget

.Ok sir yes sir sorry for any inconvience sir ok bye have a nice day.ugh

I finally get the mess cleaned up and go to top of everyone'shay. Guess what, yup, Jer gave ot the last of it last night and forgotto mentionit.

Call Dale's cell and tell him to pick up more hay. Oh and don't forgetthe vanilla and the oats coffee and eggs.

When it comes time for bed I am soooo going to pretend this day never happened.

Tina


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## onnie (Jul 6, 2005)

Way to funny lol'my mornings and evenings are abit like that to with 3 girl's arguing all the time'thank god i have myanimals or i'd crack up:laugh:


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## bunsforlife (Jul 6, 2005)

My day wasnt nearly as frustrating as that =p

But I did have to drive an hour for a drug screening... missed the exitdue to bumper to bumper traffic. So sitting in traffic foranother 30 minutes trying to get to the next exit. Turnaround, get off the correct exit, turn the wrong way at theramp. Sigh.

Do a U-ey 5 miles down the road at the first chance, turnaroundmake it back. By now that 2 cups of coffeeand the bottle of gatorade are catching up with me. (wantedto be prepared)

Make it to the clinic, wait for the receptionist. Oh joy,everyone is out to lunch. Sitting and squirming, waiting for thereceptionist or the nurse or SOMEBODY.

Finally get in to the test, do it, sign the forms in triplicate, thenhead out. Decide that since the Merrit was backed up thanksto DOT SWEEPING THE MEDIAN I would take 95 home. BIGmistake. Accident. More traffic. Sigh.

Made it home, went to buy a swimsuit since I just found out my hubbythrew my nice underwire one away. Depressed over the waythese department store suits fit me and my big bust I managed to findone that supports me at least a little. 

COme home... and my husband fell asleep and didnt take the laundry outof the dryer. Sigh. And now I have to get ready togo out tonight for a RPG which I DONT want to go to tonight but Shawnwont let me weasel out.


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##  (Jul 6, 2005)

awwwwwwww Bunswelcome to the WOW days (wiped out on wednesday ). And someone says MOndays arehard , Ya right ! sure they are !!!.


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## bunsforlife (Jul 6, 2005)

::Laughs:: Mondays are my Thursdays... 

I guess I am just more upset because my one day off this week wassucked into this trip for a drug screen. Gotta go into worktomorrow for training, joy.



At least the Party is Saturday =D


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

*gypsy wrote:*


> awwwwwwww Buns welcometo the WOW days (wiped out on wednesday ). And someone says MOndays arehard , Ya right ! sure they are !!!.


Hey Girl. how's your day going? Did it get any better?

Tina


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##  (Jul 6, 2005)

answer your YIMsilly butt . but nope itsure didnt it justcontinues on and on and on and on , 

Went to the feed store toget grain and hay ,thats fine THE ONLY bale that was decentwas way up near the top ,kid didnt want to climb to get itsooooooooo up I gothrow down the bale go in topay for the hay and grain, hmmmforgot my purse , went back out to the truck , lookin Huh ! well must be on thefloor then . look on the floor Oh Heck Noit cant be there either ,arggggggg its home on the Dining room table ,Went back in told My Ex managerI will be back to pay for it, got home broughtthe Hay in and set iton the round pen , sofar so good , goback attempt to bring inthe grain , got the first oneinfine , went to set downthe second one and SNAP ! ooops 100pounds of grain , woodchair Huh imagine that splinters , anda split open back . Great juust what I need, thankfully it was the cheaper of the2 grains , Get it all swept up , run upto the house get my purse , jump in the car ( yescar ) run back to thefeed store , Tell the woman I needanother bag of grain , she looks at meblankly and says ButYou just bought one , I gave he r the "No DUH!' look , mumbled something about 2bagsof grain a wooden chair never mind just giveme the reciept so Ican get back. finallyI get back home with the second bag ofgrain get it in before it rain s, THEN I get the brilliant brainstormIam going to get thehand truck and bring up the new cat treemy brother in law decided I just had tohave ,( he he One of thesedays I am going to hurt that boy ) . So i wheeley it all the way uphere straining and mutteringabout , just had to make it out of realtress didnt ya , Get to thedoor whistle in for my oldestto come help , she comesout with 3 kids in tow ,ya ok this is goig to be fun fun . 

Get the kids back into the houeand tells her ok I am going to tip itback and you grab it and wewill slide it thru the door . *sounds simple HUH * ya right , 

She gets ahold of it and starts draggingaway HEY! numb Butt wanna letme walk on my own here !!!! ,what do you mean , Kids grrrr ,we get it in and low and beholdthe ONLY spot it will fitbecause of height is just inside the door, OK I can fix that ( evilgrin here ) go back down the garageand gets the small chain saw , come backup and took a foot off thetop slick as quick , 5 cats scatterto the 4 winds , 2 of them arenow sitting in the door wayglaring at it just waiting for it to makenoise again . Just to see them jumpand scatter again I take aplaying card a dn just barely stick itinto hte fan blade so itmake noise , :dancing:


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## JimD (Jul 6, 2005)

*gypsy wrote:*


> Just to see them jumpand scatter again I take aplaying card a dn just barely stick itinto hte fan blade so itmake noise , :dancing:


What some people will do to entertain themselves :disgust:


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## Stephanie (Jul 6, 2005)

Talk about Murphy's Law! 

Hope everything is going better everyone.


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## Jenniblu (Jul 6, 2005)

:laugh:i'm sorry, but you 2(three now with Bunsforlife) are cracking me up with yourstories! Makes stepping into regurgitated cat food or chickenpoop seem like nothing now.


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## Stephanie (Jul 6, 2005)

Yes, I admit, I did get a chuckle out of this too.... 

Sorry!


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## dajeti2 (Jul 6, 2005)

Well Gypsy, that's one way to keep the cats from fighting.:shock:

I sneak outside for a quick smoke break I should have knownthis was a mistake. No sooner I step outside and close the door, oh yeathe phone. It's someone's mom and boy is she mad at somebody. Well Ican't give her somebody's number because I really don't have it so Igot to take somebody's place. She gave me a piece of her mind anddessert.:shock::shock::shock:

Sneak bask out and the rabbits all start thumping, Now What. Amouse!!! EWWW!!I bait and set a trap and guess what I caughtas I was pushing it back behind the stove... my finger. That mouse justgot granted a slight reprieve because that trap will wait until Dalegets home.

Finally I get outside and that long awaited smoke. ApparentlyYapper decided he just loves Penny. He was trying to consummate theunion with poor Penny hobbling away on one leg I open the coop door toget the poor girl and have 3 chickens pecking that same finger the trapgot. Can you say McNuggets y'all. grr

So I now have a chicken camping out in the bath tub. Phoneringing off the hook, kitchen sink is backed up, chicken squawking,flash flood alert...

I want a vacation.

Tina


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## JimD (Jul 6, 2005)

I happened to notice that any and/or all of thisaggravation was caused by animals in some way....kitty throwup....CAT FIGHT....litter box all over thefloor....Big cat chases Kitten acrossed myfoot....Ford ( kitten ) doing lapsaround the litter box....scoops out pawsfull oflitter onto the floor then Pees on it ....Went tothe feed store to get grain andhay....SNAP ! ooops 100 pounds of grain ,wood chair....bring up the new cattree.... low and behold theONLY spot it will fit becauseof height is just inside thedoor....CHAINSAW TIME !!!

Like the Wizard of OZ in 30 seconds..."what a world, what a world!!"



and yes...'tis very funny 

Did you ever get to go fishing??:fishing:


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## Snuggys Mom (Jul 6, 2005)

I really hated coming in to work today, but after reading this, I'm sure glad I'm here and not at home with five animals!

Laura


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## TinysMom (Jul 6, 2005)

*JimD wrote: *


> Ihappened to notice that any and/or all of this aggravation was causedby animals in some way....




Well - actually - I think it is the coffee that started the whole thing(or lack of coffee). Perhaps there is a curse that if youdon't get your coffee within the first 5 minutes of being up....thewhole day is shot?

Just a theory......

Peg


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##  (Jul 6, 2005)

Did you ever get to go fishing??:fishing:
************ 

nope never got there spent the betterhalf of an hour chasingPalaminos around the yard , some dingybroad forgot to lock the door after feeding time ,.Rose Jinxed me one lol .


Well - actually - I think it is the coffee that started the whole thing(or lack of coffee). Perhaps there is a curse that if youdon't get your coffee within the first 5 minutes of being up....thewhole day is shot?

Just a theory......
*********** 

Hmmmmmmm this theory works for me too, but ususally its because ihavent had the second cup yet lol, this time Mrphy decidedto mess withme and got me good . 

this is what I am going to doto Murphy if i ever catch upto the Bugger .. 

:gun:


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## TinysMom (Jul 6, 2005)

*gypsy wrote:*


> nope never got there spent thebetter half of an hour chasingPalaminos around the yard , some dingybroad forgot to lock the door after feeding time ,.Rose Jinxed me one lol .




Oh Gypsy! I can soooo picture this. Back when I hadum....lots less rabbits - we used to let them out here in themornings. I loved watching them binky and play and know thatthey enjoyed it.

Then we tried to catch them. We called it "RabbitAerobics". It would take us up to an hour some days to catchthe rabbits - and that was with FOUR people working at it.

So....Art said "no more" till we make pens/runs for them to play inoutside. I remember one day when it took me over 20 minutesto catch SugarBear (with others helping even) and I was yelling at him,'Ok...NOW it's getting PERSONAL!". He thumped at me and tookoff again.

Actually, I did let Puck out this morning and Tiny gets to go out somemornings if it is cool enough. I was thrilled - when I openedthe door and called for Puck to come in....he came running in.

However, I won't talk about how he acted once he was inside and why hegot locked up shortly afterwards. I'm just glad he can't matewith the young 'uns through the cage.

It must be something in either the air or the water.....

Anyway - bunny aerobics can be VERY beneficial in weight loss...and I bet the bunny can use the run for exercise too!

Peg


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## mygrl2k3 (Jul 7, 2005)

My days have been going a little crazy thesedays between kids and pets. My cat Tigger got out and Williamwho is ten got worried she went to far and she wasnt really that farbut i know she will come back so i wasnt going to chase her, and afteri told him not to he chased her, and she sqeexed herself in a drainageditch.. He then goes and tells the office and they remove the gratething and everytime we went to go find her she would go andhide. Finally I said if we leave her alone she will comeout.. I go to the store and when i come back i can hear meow meow, so igo looking for her and she is sitting under a tree, but when i wentnear her she acted like she didnt know me and ran. So i wentafter her trying to get her and she went right back to the spot andstopped and if she could talk she said take one more step lady and ijump back in..So i backed off and called her and she came to me and ibrought her back in.

Then theres the kids are just driving me crazy. William is supose to domath homework. We got him a mathbok to do a page a day but iseem to forget and he isnt reminding me. Tyler seems to begoing crazy at times. He flips over not having theblue plate and the black fork and is so picky these days he hardlyeats. I am trying to get rid of the sippy cup and he even gets pickyover the juice. I swear he will scream for days if i dont get what hewants. Changes are hard on. But today it was socute. He knew i was going to the store and the whole way there he saysbuy more juice, buy more juice. Then i after buying the juicehe says got more juice over and over. As much as a pain hecan be at times. He is just now starting to say the cutethings. This is going to be a very long summer butI know the day i send him off to kindergarten i am not going to knowwhat to do with myself with both kids being in school all day.

Cristy


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