# A Rabbit's Guide to HUMANS



## The President (May 5, 2007)

Hello all. I have decided to write a book called '*A Rabbit's Guide to HUMANS*' 
It is what it says. A complete guide to dealing with yourhuman. It is sorta like theTips for dealing withhumans thread, but with different topicss too. So Ineed information from all of you on the different topics included in mybook. It doesn't have to be very good, as this is a roughdraft. 
*
Introduction*
Put stuff in here about how supposedlyhumans came to be bunny slaves and pets. Why they do or dont make goodpets.

*Choosing you human*
How can you tell at once that this humanwill be a good bunny slave? How to get the attention of thehuman to pick you? How NOT to get the attention of humans whomay use you as snake food or neglect you.

*Housing*
I don't know what would be in here.

*Nutrition*
The art of begging.

*Health and hygine*
Is your human sick? What do you do to make them better? 
Giving your human a bath.

*Breeding*
What do you do when your human brings home another pet/human?

If you can think of any other topics please include them. Thanks 

~ Ronnie, The President


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## Flashy (May 5, 2007)

Hi everybody. This is Sky here. Tracyis in the bath so I have done a Houdini move to get out of my run tosee what it is that she spends all her time doing.

I like the idea of a guide to humans because they are so strange. Sohard to understand and they are not that great at communication.



*Introduction
* Put stuff in here about howsupposedly humans came to be bunny slaves and pets. Why they do or dontmake good pets.

*Choosing you human*
How can you tell at once that this humanwill be a good bunny slave? I think it's obviousthey will be a good slave if they do things that you like. My dad toldme about how he met Tracy. The first time that Tracy went to meet him,Richard (who ahd previously looked after him) put him on the sideboard,and my dad thought 'let's test this person', so he walked into thesink. Tracy was very good and caught him before he fell, so my dad knewthat she would look after him and not let bad things happen to him. Sotesting your human is a good thing to do too.

How to get the attention of the human to pick you? How NOT toget the attention of humans who may use you as snake food or neglectyou.

*Housing*
I don't know what would be inhere. Maybe in here you could put about the thingsyou like in a human house and things you don't? I don't like fleas.Kitkat brings them in and the humans do their best to get rid of them,but there is always one left.

I LOVE carpet to chew and wall paper to strip. I also loveit when Tracy lets me come in and lets me run around wherever I want.That's so much fun.

*Nutrition*
The art of begging. 

*Health and hygine*
Is your human sick? What doyou do to make them better? When Tracy is sicksome other rabbits sit with her and snuggle her to make her feelbetter, but I try and amke her laugh. Once I pretended to have my headstuck in a box, that made her laugh a lot becauseshe thoughtI had actually got it stuck (humans aren't so bright). Tracy gets sicka lot, and if often really tired, so sometimes I just sit with her andlet her stroke me, or I will lick her face and groom her. But if shestaysstill for too long I get scared that she is not ok, so Ispray her. That makes her move very fast.
 Giving your human a bath.

*Breeding*
What do you do when your human brings home another pet/human?

I've got to go new, because I heard Tracy get out the bath.I better get back into my run or else she will scream and panic again,because she's silly.

Laters


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## TinkleBunny (May 7, 2007)

*My name is TinkleBunny, and I have 1 human.Well there is this male human that hangs around her all the time, buthe isn't mine.*

*Introduction
*My human is pretty good to me, I getaway with alot. I finally got her trained to give me lots of treats.Sometimes she goes away for HOURS and I get mad at her when she comeshome.


*Choosing you human*
This human was the only one who waslarge, and didn't tap on the glass of my cage in the petstore. Idecided to investigate her and she picked me to come home with her. Iwas lucky, my cagemate was black like everything she owns. 

*Housing*
I live in a wire dog crate, now that shegot me one of those corner litterboxes, I don't feel so cramped. Whenthe male human isn't home, she lets me run around and we have snugglingtime. She also gave me this stuffy named Magazine, since I like togroom it while using the litterbox. She also gives me lots ofphonebooks, since I like to shred papers. I don't really like toys, Iam Very picky.

*Nutrition*
I love stealing french fries, chickennuggets, anything my human eats is fair game. She also gives me a saladof yummy parsley and romaine lettuce. I had to set her straight aboutcucumber though, blah.

*Health and hygine*
My human has a messed up hind paw. Sheapperently broke it a little while before I was born. I have beenaround for 2 surgeries, but am told that she had a total of 4. She hadto get one right after she got me, and so we spent alot of timetogether. She can get around pretty good, which means that she catchesme more when I am doing naughty things.


*Breeding*
My human has a male that lives with bothof us. The other day in fact, she was kissing on him and stuff, andforgot to lock my cage. Well I decided I needed to see what exactlythey were up to, so I jumped up on the bed and scared both of them!

~TinkleBunny~


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