# What should I do .. ?



## Brandy456 (Sep 6, 2009)

Everyone has that one particular person they really like, no matter what stupid thing they've done, or said. Right?
Well I found mine... 
Just a few obstacles in the way and I want to know you guys' oppinions. 

Ok so we met around 3 years ago. I actually used to be his younger sisters best friend but we had a falling out when in a comprimising situation she told me she was gay, and loved me..and a few other things (we got in a fist fight about something else)

So she had this cute older brother, and he asked me for my ful name to look me up on facebook and I gave it to him.

Just last ( 2008 ) October we dated but we broke up because I wasn't ready for *that *kind of relationship. I was the one who broke up with him becauseI didnt think it was fair to him. 

Then this march we decided to go back out and here's where all the drama comes in. 

He again wanted *that* kind of relationship and I asked him to wait, just a few weeks because we had just started going out again and hadn't talked in a while, just wanted to get to know him again, first. 

Then he admitted he cheated on me , the first time. 

And said some pretty hurtfull words


So I started talking to him again a few weeks ago and he said yesterday that he 'wanted to be more in my life' and I asked what he ment and he said 'Well, if you want just friends, but i'd like for you to be my girlfriend, again'
Well I was thinking about it... 
Actually went MIA because of it lol. 

I really like him, and he's appologized many times, and plans to appologize to my mom for how he treated me. -tomorrow, actually-

He admitted, out loud he was immature before. 

He seems totally genuine. 

So.. what should I do ? 
=/ 
Third times the charm ?


----------



## missyscove (Sep 6, 2009)

Question before I can give you any advice, how old are you again?


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 6, 2009)

15 and a little bit. 
XD
Tehee


----------



## mardigraskisses (Sep 7, 2009)

NO NO NO NO NO.

Once a cheater always a cheater, no exceptions. Also, he sounds like a real jerk. :grumpy:

Get him to apologize to everyone, and then tell him to beat it. You'll find someone better.

And by _that _kind of relationship I assume you mean sex? Trust me, you don't want to do that with someone like that.


----------



## missyscove (Sep 7, 2009)

First, I'd like to say that I'm 19, in my 2nd year of college and I'm on my first boyfriend. 
I'm also Catholic and I believe in abstinence until marriage. My bf isn't and doesn't necessarily, but because he respects me as a person, he respects my choice.

So if sex is what you mean by "that kind of relationship" I, personally, think that 15 is way too young to make that kind of a commitment to someone else. I definitely have friends who were sexually active at your age and while I realize that everyone is different, I think you owe it to yourself to wait. I think at the very least it's important to really get to know someone before you give that much of yourself to someone.

Again, you were 14 or 15 when you started dating this guy and he "cheated" on you. I don't really know what was involved in this context, but it sounds to me like he isn't worth the trouble and I'd steer clear of him. 

How much older than you is he?


----------



## Blaze_Amita (Sep 7, 2009)

mardigraskisses had it right "Once a cheater always a cheater" I had a boyfriend that I dated back in junior high(7h, 8th grade) that wanted 'all that' kind of relationship. I told him we weren't old enough but we stayed boyfriend/girlfriend. Just to find out after three years of dating that he'd been sleeping with my best friend! Needless to say I stopped talking to both. It's hardened me from men and I haven't had a 'real' boyfriend, just interested men, since then and all the interested men haven't met my qualifications yet because now I'm picky. My ex, I've asked around, cheated on her and his third girlfriend. Once a cheater always a cheater. 
Don't do that to yourself, you deserve better. Don't set yourself back up for that kind of pain. While he may seem genuine, he probably isn't. And not to poke fingers are our males here, but 95% of the men that I've ever met weren't very mature. 
Again, sorry guys, I'm just more anti-men than most women but I am not gay.


----------



## TinysMom (Sep 7, 2009)

My personal opinion as a parent - is that 15 is to young for "that type" of relationship. True - I know many are "active" at that age - but honestly - you have so many other wonderful things to enjoy - save "that type" of relationship for when you're older and have found the right person. When Art & I were married - he was the first one I'd been with and I was haunted by the thoughts of other girls he might compare me too - especially since they were more experienced than him (there were only two others) and it really hurt our relationship a lot.

Also - if he's cheated on you once at this age - chances are - he'll do it again.

Be friends...yes. But not anything more unless you want your heart broken.

In addition - if you do want "that kind" of a relationship - make sure to protect yourself and get birth control and make sure to use other protection in addition - largely because of diseases you can get once you become active (especially if he's been with other girls).

Just my .02 - as a mom.


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

Thanks guys. 

=) 
He'll be 17 in january.


----------



## Luvmyzoocrew (Sep 7, 2009)

i would say be friends, you have already been in a relationship before, a few times, and it just hasn't worked. I dont believe the once a cheater , always a cheater, more times then not that proves to be true but it isn't always true. I too have to concur that 15 is too young to have "that kind of relationship", because "that kind of relationship" comes with so many consequences , and at 15 most boys/girls are not ready for those kind of consequences. I have to say BRAVO to you for knowing that you were not ready for that kind of relationship , twice, to him and sticking to it. Now someitmes you can truly like/love someone but them just not be the right person for you. Believe me my sister is married to a guy to whom she loves dearly, and in his own strange way loves her, they have four beautiful children but these are two people that should not be together, just because they love each other doesnt mean that they are right for each other. So with what you were saying about you and him , just because you like him doesnt mean that you too are good for each other, you have been there done that with him already maybe you too just arent meant to be together


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

Thanks alot, Fran =D


----------



## NorthernAutumn (Sep 7, 2009)

First off, a guy looking to be sexually active with you within the first few weeks of dating has a screw loose. If you choose to have sex (oral, penetrative whatever) with him after 3 weeks of dating, he will have gotten what he wanted. You might fool around together a few times, and then he will drop you like yesterday's used underwear.

Sad, eh? That's a 17 year old guy. He's already demonstrated that he's untrustworthy and a cheat. He'll obviously apologize to get back in your good graces, then start the cycle over again.

He's a loser. Sounds a lot like the first guy I went out with when I was 15/16. 
I'll be very clear about this: your first sexual experience can either be an incredibly fond memory, or a really sad, pathetic, heartbreaking one. 
I've got the latter... It wouldn't have been so bad if we were good friends to start, had a great supportive relationship, then broke up after.

But my first was the exact same as this guy who's after you. I'm still disappointed, and regret it.

(Remember, unless you are ready to support a baby full time, don't bother with sex... even with a condom and the pill, you can still get pregnant. Odds are low, but it has happened.)

If this guy can be your boyfriend and stick with you for an entire year (without demanding sex in any format, zero cheating), you might consider it then. I doubt he'll even make 3 months, though.

PS: I'm 22, 5th boyfriend.


----------



## mardigraskisses (Sep 7, 2009)

OH! And if you get into "that" kind of relationship, you need to get to the doctor, get an exam and some birth control. I would say ask him to get an exam as well, but he sounds like a skeeze bag who probably wouldn't want to put forth the effort.

Better safe than sorry, if you're gonna go down that road. I think you are old enough to make that decision for yourself. 

Once again though, the guy sounds like a jerk! :grumpy:

Also, I know a lot of people say losing it is this big emotional experience; 99% of the time, it's horrible. You'll never wanna have sex again for a few months. I haven't met anyone who had an enjoyable first time.


----------



## fuzz16 (Sep 7, 2009)

once a cheater always a cheater is my biggest advice.

i am 19 and have been cheated on, abused, and played by guys. i have learned at this point that if they do something wrong the first time then they get no second chances. 
you're young, if he cant wait and doesnt want to understand your reasons then you dont need him because he doesnt have enough respect for you to respect your decisions and your body and mind. 

id say either just be friends or get rid of him. i have been through this choice like many other females have...its hard. but its one of those things that you know you have to do it.


----------



## lloorren (Sep 7, 2009)

A friend of a friend was telling me about how he just got together with his girlfriend who had been dating on and off with him for years, and then that day cheated on her with another girl. If the person has done it multiple times and got away with it, they will continue, and it sounds to me like the guy wasn't caught in some kind of huge dilemma when he cheated on you, because he went for your best friend and he knew **** well that he was doing something wrong.


----------



## anneq (Sep 7, 2009)

I vote "NO" for all the reasons the above posters gave.

Have you discussed any of this with your mom or dad?

If he cannot remain faithful to you then, what makes you think he would now?

And if you cannot be 100% sure, then why would you want to give yourself to a guy who doesn't treasure and respect you like a man should?

If you're dead-set on sexually involving yourself with this guy, then nothing anyone here says is going to make a difference

I'm with a lot of the other women here whose had to learn some very painful lessons about trust & betrayal, self-respect and the loss of that.

You've got a lot more to lose if this all goes wrong than he does.

Please, think about this long and hard.
It's not just your virginity you'd be losing.


As I tell my daughter...self-respect is something only you can give to yourself...and it's the only thing you can choose to give away - and getting that back can be a long and painful journey.


----------



## Aina (Sep 7, 2009)

Ok, so I'm 20 and on my 0th relationship. 
However, I understand how there are some people you are just really attracted to, as there is a certain guy, so totally not what I imagined... but that is a different story. 
Anyways, I just wanted to say that you should wait. You are 15. Really, I'm 20 and it hasn't killed me to not be in a relationship. In fact, I've kinda liked it. I enjoy my freedom. So I'd give up my freedom in a second for this one guy, but I would never give up *that* without a strong commitment, even if I love the guy. (I'm like missycove on that one)
If he is a guy that you should be with then he will understand. If not, flush him. You deserve better. Plus what if you are dating him and miss the guy you really should be with because you are with him?


----------



## JadeIcing (Sep 7, 2009)

I would say no.


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

*mardigraskisses wrote: *


> OH! And if you get into "that" kind of relationship, you need to get to the doctor, get an exam and some birth control. I would say ask him to get an exam as well, but he sounds like a skeeze bag who probably wouldn't want to put forth the effort.



I've been on it since I was 11 (ladddddyyy problem..  ) haha. =D


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

*lloorren wrote: *


> A friend of a friend was telling me about how he just got together with his girlfriend who had been dating on and off with him for years, and then that day cheated on her with another girl. If the person has done it multiple times and got away with it, they will continue, and it sounds to me like the guy wasn't caught in some kind of huge dilemma when he cheated on you, because he went for your best friend and he knew darn well that he was doing something wrong.



..it wasn't my best friend.

I think you may need to re-read my 'story' again


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

Thanks guyss
I went to see him earlier and we talked. 
.. =/


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 7, 2009)

^Wont let me edit


anways
needless to say, I turned to mush


----------



## lloorren (Sep 8, 2009)

Whoops, I'm sorry I read yours and then a reply and by the time I got to replying my head mixed them together


----------



## kirbyultra (Sep 8, 2009)

It's hard being 15 with a 17 year old guy who wants your favor... so I understand the mush thing, BUT I would say, *really* think about it and think of the worst possible scenario - if you invested in the relationship and foudn out he cheated on you again. How hurt would you feel and is it worth it? I think the chances are pretty high that he would cheat again, I'm in agreement with the other ladies here.

-Coming from a 26 and married woman


----------



## NorthernAutumn (Sep 8, 2009)

I know exactly what you're talking about, re. mush. It got me into more than a few sad horrible scenarios. Yeah he's hot, and I'm sure he says all the right things. He already knows what he's going to say... he's done all this before. It's rehearsed.

My mom came to visit today, and reminded me of one disgusting fact...
Every time you have sex with someone, you are having sex with every person they have had sex with, and all of that other person's partners.
(Blaaauuughh!)

Meaning, any disease at any point in time that one of his partners may have had becomes your problem. And apparently this guy cheats... I wonder what he does when he cheats?
Not looking good, m'dear...

I have always made sure my current partner and I were tested simultaneously (and the results were in) before we had any sexual contact.

I was thinking about what you wrote...
"Everyone has that one particular person they really like, no matter what stupid thing they've done, or said. Right?"

Yup, I sure do know about that... it got me a boyfriend at the age of 17, who was a liar, a cheat, and best of all, a closet crack addict. Not joking in the slightest. 
I thought, oh well, he's got a few faults... I'm sure he'll change.
Maybe I'll settle.... I was with him almost a year, till I smartened up and left. I finally went to university, made a real life for myself.

I have never settled for someone with glaring, obvious faults. You are too young to settle. Find someone at least as good as yourself.

Find someone who your Daddy would want to have with his girl, some guy he would be proud to know...:hug:


----------



## kirsterz09 (Sep 8, 2009)

ok I know what your going through and I don't want to say this to scare you but I am saying this because it has some simularities to what I experianced at 15.
I met my first boyf about 3 weeks before I turned 16, he was known around the village I lived in to be bad news but, one day I saw this side to him that, I really liked and from that moment started dating him, against the warnings that everyone told me at the time. I was with him for 6 months of my life and heres how it went! 
As soon as I turned 16 he started pestering me 24/7 for sex even though, I wasn't ready for it. Now he was older than me by 3 years and a big guy, he knew this was my first relationship and from living in the same village and going to the same school, knew about my personality and that I had low self esteem. He used these things against me using mental mind games to get me to do things I didn't want to do, firstly you'd get the but I love you and want to show you it, and then if I didn't back down he'd get angry and insult me, often reducing me to tears to get what he wanted.
Regarding cheating he was terrible he'd chat to girls online right infront of me and he even called up my best friend and tried to get her to do stuff down the phone right in front of me, I once caught him coming out of a local pub with anouther girl! He'd tell me he wasn't doing anything and my low self confidence would make me believe it! It got to the point when he knew he had total control over me, he went with me and his friend into town and left me in the car on my own while he went into a adult store to meet a adult film star with whom, he had his pic taken and proudly showed me afterwards! It even got to the point where he'd go out on his own for nights on end and come back and show me pics of him with anouther girl! 
Now your prob thinking why I stayed there with him, but I thought I could change him, I thought maybe he'll change for me, maybe he'll stop cheating but the truth is he never did or would! When I realised this I tried to get away but then he'd use my lack of confidence against me, he could be semi violent to me, he was into wrestling and would do the high flying moves onto me (16stone guy landing on 10stone girl) and I was scared of him. He'd even stalk me when I wasn't with him cause he thought i was cheating on him!!
In the end I plucked up the courage to leave him when I found some one else who treated me a lot differently, but the damage had been done, I went within myself, stopped eating, couldn't hold a realtionship because I was still terrified of him and scared of the same situation arising again. It's been 6 years since then and I still suffering from the affects of that relationship, I am now recieving counselling which, is helping a lot!
Now this is a extreame case of what rushing into a relationship can do but, it does happern. Again I just wanted to show anouther side to the story of what can occur in these situations. 
I agree with what you said about liking someone even though they have done stupid things or do stupid things, cuz I wouldn't of gone into that realationship if I didn't.
The thing is you have to be realistic, there's a saying called your wearing rose tinted glasses, this means that because you have feelings for someone you'll try to mask out and forget about the bad points in that person. This is easily done with first relationships, your at an age where suddenly the opposite sex is more appealing, all your friends are in relationships and sometimes you can rush into it because you think the first guy that comes along is going to be the one and you forget to think it through. 
It does seem like he is only after one thing otherwise, he wouldn't of cheated on you with someone else. If you entered a realtionship with him it could go two ways, you could give him sex and then once he's got what he wants, he'll break up with you or, he could try to force you into doing what you don't want to do and end up trying to control you buy either saying things that he thinks you want to hear or by attacking and insulting you both of which, he seems to of already done.
Trust me hun if your not ready don't do it! If he loved and respected you, he would wait until your ready (there is anouther way he can relieve his sexual tension without cheating on you!) If you go into a sexual relationship when you are not ready, you can end up regretting it for a long time and the hurt that you feel if he dumps you right after is painful. They always say that sex is more important to a women than a man don't let him take it away from you just, so he can add anouther number to his list!
I will be thinking of you, remember in the end the choice is yours to make do what you feel happy with! My PM box is always open if you wanted to talk  :hug1


----------



## GoinBackToCali (Sep 8, 2009)

I read your question.. but did not read through all the replys..so ya'll can berate me if I answer wrongly.

I am gonna answer you, coming from the heart, and mind of a 36 year old who has made some suck man choices. Both my heart and my mind have been toyed with and changed and broken by said man choices.

Your a teenager..you have a whole life ahead of you to mess with men made entirely of suck. I assure you, there will be many. That is an inescapable fact. While I realize hormones are playing a major part in your attraction to this boy, he lacks the experience, the tact and the couth and the cajones to show the quality, you as a beautiful young woman, deserve. He has already proven this to you.

Why you would want to set yourself up for failure, and tears and heartache, when he inevitably pulls his crap again, is beyond me.

Men.. very rarely change their spots. They may camouflage them very well..but they very rarely change them completely.

Like I said.. you have your whole life....that boy..is not worth adding to the trials and tribulations being a teenager already brings.

Think 4 months from now, when he's done it again, and you'll be sitting here going.. "why did I ever think he would change?"..


----------



## wabbitmom12 (Sep 8, 2009)

Brandy456:

*RUN*, don't walk, from this guy.

Consider this quote: 

_Girls will have sex so they can stay in a relationship._

_Guys will stay in a relationship, so they can have sex._

You want a relationship...he wants sex. It's pretty clear that your goals are different. He might appear (pretend) to want a relationship, but think about how he acted when you saidyou wanted to wait. He admits he cheated on you the first time, and said some hurtful things. So, basically...*if you won't sleep with me, I'm not going to treat you right. I will find someone else to sleep with. I will pressure you by hurting your feelings.*

You say you turned to mush when you talked to him? He knows this! I am pretty sure that he knows all the right things to say to you.

Apologies really don't make up for words that he has alreadyspoken to you. Though we all make mistakes, and needa fresh start, there is usually some truth to what was said. Think about the last argument you had. This probably how he feels, deep inside - it just didn't come out in a very nice way. He can say he is sorry, but I'm pretty sure he is sorry because hehurt you...notbecause ofwhat he actually did.

There are many times in life that you will need to make a decision with your HEAD, not your HEART. I'm not saying it's easy, but it _*will*_ keep you pointed in the right direction.


----------



## JadeIcing (Sep 8, 2009)

A guy who ask for sex more than once when you say you are not ready isn't worth it. I waited till I was married slept in the same bed with my soon to be husband and not once did he ask. He knew how I felt. My waiting had nothing to do with religion. It was because it was something I could only give once. I wanted to know that it was with someone I would spend the rest of my life with.


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 8, 2009)

*NorthernAutumn wrote: *


> Find someone who your Daddy would want to have with his girl, some guy he would be proud to know...:hug:


That made me tear up a bit, thanks =) *non-sarcasm*


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 8, 2009)

I rememberd how he used to make me feel, like crap to say nicely. 
but earlier, I was the happied girl ever, he took off some work time with me, and we walked to the park, and him usually being mucho sirious made me laugh and we laughed together

ehhhh crap. 
haha =D
AND AND, idk if this counts for anything but he kissed my FORHEAD. S'all
... =) 
Win!?
^(lol jk)


----------



## SnowyShiloh (Sep 8, 2009)

Brandy! Don't do it! He does sound like a jerk. A jerk who's pretending to be nice. I agree with others who say that if he cheated on you once, he'll do it again. Also, you said that you were so happy when you were with him... I firmly believe that you need to be completely happy with yourself before you start dating someone. You can't look for happiness from someone else, it has to come from within. Also, I can't stress this enough, but if you do have sex with him, USE CONDOMS. Do not listen to what he says. It doesn't matter if you're already taking birth control pills because birth control pills don't protect against STDs. Plus, a lot of people aren't super religious about taking their pills at the same time every day (especially young people) and one mistake could get you pregnant.


----------



## GoinBackToCali (Sep 8, 2009)

Awww.. he kissed your forehead.."sarcasm"

And my ex husband knows to kiss the inside of my wrist... and my neck...

And my husband knows to kiss the back of my neck..and the small of my back

All guys have a hook.. just depends on if you decide to roll with it..


----------



## anneq (Sep 9, 2009)

", and plans to appologize to my mom for how he treated me. -tomorrow, actually-"


so, how did that go? What is your moms take on this guy? How does you dad feel about him?

Listen Brandy...I don't see ANY of the women who've posted here giving a thumbs-up to this guy...and granted, some of us may be off-base...but TEN+ of us? Sweety, you asked for our opinions on this and you got 'em...if you decide to throw caution to the wind, and follow your 'feelings', then just know you went ahead with this even though you had plenty of imput from women who've 'been there, done that' -.....and you may want to consider that you felt the necessity of having to consult with other women on this dilemma, that should tell you something - like deep down, you know there's something dangerous to your health (physical, emotional & mental) going on here.


Now I know why one of my mommas favorite saying was: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 9, 2009)

He was about to, but then my moms friend cut him off and was being really rude so we just left.


----------



## missyscove (Sep 9, 2009)

I personally think that if you feel the need to ask for advice from people on the internet, deep down you probably already know what you should do.


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 9, 2009)

..yea.


but i'm going to hell anyways. 
-.-


----------



## anneq (Sep 9, 2009)

Hell? Who mentioned that?

I think people here wanted to help you steer clear of what could or will end-up as a regrettable decision.

I'm not making any judgment (and I don't believe others are either) as to your eternal state - that's certainly something only God has the right to do.

People don't want you to get seriously hurt - I don't think anyone here was passing judgment on you, other than that you're young and susceptible to some guy who does not really appear to respect you but wants to appear otherwise.

Are there any other men whose judgment you trust that you could ask their opinion from? Someone you could trust to give you the truth regardless of what you'd want to hear? If you know someone like that, I'd run it by him - that or another woman whose opinions you'd respect?


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 10, 2009)

Oh no, I wasn't saying someone here was saying it. I only said it because my friend made me promise to never even hang out with him, and I ended up hanging out with him two nights ago,


----------



## Brandy456 (Sep 10, 2009)

*anneq wrote: *


> Are there any other men whose judgment you trust that you could ask their opinion from? Someone you could trust to give you the truth regardless of what you'd want to hear? If you know someone like that, I'd run it by him - that or another woman whose opinions you'd respect?



My brothers, but i'd never ask my brothers on dating advice for as long as i'd like him to live, 

My mom, I simply can't talk to about that. She doesn't know which side she's on and in either instance she just puts me down. 

So... nope =/


----------



## Brandy456 (Oct 6, 2009)

:tears2:

you guys were soo right


----------



## kirsterz09 (Oct 6, 2009)

why what happerend?:hug2:


----------



## Brandy456 (Oct 6, 2009)

I woke up to a text ;
Goodmorning B****

then I texted back 'huh' 
and he wrote
*i has to go look for it... one sec *
haha you're funny B**** in your dreams your not worth my time and waste of my lfe when I can be finding some hot fine girl worth my time

Random
But it hurt
I cried all morning.


----------



## irishbunny (Oct 6, 2009)

My friend was going out with an idiot like that before, it was only the other day he said something weird to her like that, can't remember exactly what it was though.

Least you know not to waste your time on guys like him anymore


----------



## Brandy456 (Oct 6, 2009)

:tears2:

The worst part is,

I knew better then to keep talking to him..

but I did it anyways.


----------



## kirsterz09 (Oct 6, 2009)

*Brandy456 wrote: *


> :tears2:
> 
> The worst part is,
> 
> ...


so did I, but it's one of those things where you do it anyway, all you can do is move on and learn from it, he'll get what he deserves for his actions someday.
Here's a big hug for you:hug: as, what he said wasn't very nice!


----------



## Brandy456 (Oct 6, 2009)

Thanks


----------



## Blaze_Amita (Oct 6, 2009)

:hug::hug::hug:

My PM box is open, or yahoo messaging (shalkanssedonia) or AIM (BlazesGirl01) if you want to talk. 
I will do what ever I can to help. I do know what you are going through physically(the dealing with men). I've had 8 loser boyfriends, each one ended up worse than the one before. I also help my BFF with all of her problems. I've got a good ear and I'll listen and try to help. 

Hang in there.


----------



## DeniseJP (Oct 7, 2009)

*TinysMom wrote: *


> My personal opinion as a parent - is that 15 is to young for "that type" of relationship. True - I know many are "active" at that age - but honestly - you have so many other wonderful things to enjoy - save "that type" of relationship for when you're older and have found the right person. When Art & I were married - he was the first one I'd been with and I was haunted by the thoughts of other girls he might compare me too - especially since they were more experienced than him (there were only two others) and it really hurt our relationship a lot.
> 
> Also - if he's cheated on you once at this age - chances are - he'll do it again.
> 
> ...


Excellent advice and I second it as a mom. I also walked the walk and talked the talk back in my day- did not "sample the wares out there" as a serious relationship just seemed too intense with too much drama. Had one serious BF when I was 20 and he became my hubby... 21 years now.

There are many nice young men out there... don't settle for one that cheats just to "have a boyfriend." As the old saying goes, tigers don't change their stripes.

Denise


----------



## anneq (Oct 7, 2009)

I am sorry this had to happen Brandy...as you now know, there are some real losers out there - the upside is there ARE some great young men out there that know how to treat a girl right - it's just a matter of being patient and focusing on other important aspects of your life until that special one comes along. I don't mean to sound cavalier about your situation, but this kind of experience is a 'live and learn' kind of deal - as long as you learned what you needed to, you'll be doing good. He was just the guy that had to teach you that hard piece of truth. 

Again, sorry he was such a SoB

/hugs

p.s. What comes around, goes around


----------



## bunniekrissy (Oct 7, 2009)

Any guy who pressures you to have sex before you are ready is not worth your time. Maybe he is a good guy and he'll be more mature and respectful in a few years, but how he's acting now is unacceptable, and I urge you to be very cautious. 15 is much too young to have sex anyway, in my opinion.


----------



## bunniekrissy (Oct 7, 2009)

Oops, I didn't realize this was an old post. Sorry.


----------



## DeniseJP (Oct 7, 2009)

*SnowyShiloh wrote: *


> Brandy! Don't do it! He does sound like a jerk. A jerk who's pretending to be nice. I agree with others who say that if he cheated on you once, he'll do it again. Also, you said that you were so happy when you were with him... I firmly believe that you need to be completely happy with yourself before you start dating someone. You can't look for happiness from someone else, it has to come from within. Also, I can't stress this enough, but if you do have sex with him, USE CONDOMS. Do not listen to what he says. It doesn't matter if you're already taking birth control pills because birth control pills don't protect against STDs. Plus, a lot of people aren't super religious about taking their pills at the same time every day (especially young people) and one mistake could get you pregnant.



And, sadly, the Pill is not 100% foolproof. I found out the hard way - got pregnant at 23 and lost the baby prior to being married. Talk about hard drama... Found out after the fact I could not take the Pill at the dose prescribed and at the higher dose, ended up with high blood pressure and with other complications (fibrocystic breast disease, diabetes, family history of heart disease and cancer), cannot take any pill at all due to the cancer risk.

No guy is worth it. You are worth so much more, please, pleaserethink this. This character may be talking sweet to get you to where he wants you but he's a 17 year old, a kid himself looking to satisfy his own agenda. You have a whole life ahead of you... and there are nice guys out there... 15 is a tough age but you will get through it. My nieces are coming up on this age and my sons went through it and it was Hell for them and me.

Hugs - 

Denise


----------

