# Stressing Out. Help?



## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

[align=left]Alright well where to start. I went down to my dads last Monday and stayed until the past Friday. But while I was downI ran into this guy that I have went to school with for 3 years. We totally used to hate each other. Like a ready to kill each other kind of thing lol. We just started liking each other like 6 months ago. Anyways he is totally hot, I'm not going to lie. Anyways I won't get into details lol But after a long convo he came into town the next day and my best friend and her boyfriend invited us to hang out so we agreed.[/align]
[align=left]Well it turns out we are now dating. I totally like him. Like it is amazing how I can go from hating him to like being in love with him over a couple months. [/align]
[align=left]Well here is my problem: He drinks (which alot of teenagers do), he smokes pot (NOT OFTEN) & well he gets cocky & sarcastic with other guys when they talk to me. I have no problems with any of that. It is my mom who does. She wants me to break up with him because she thinks I can do better. But I cannot do it. I really like him.[/align]
[align=left]So what should I do? He is like the most popular guy in school (yes, it makes a difference) & well he is pretty responsible for his age. [/align]
[align=left]Help :twitch:[/align]


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## irishlops (Aug 17, 2009)

ok, first- i have never had a boy friend or anything.
but, this girl when i started 2end school. we hated each other. in a ready to kill each other way. so we ended joining forces and were best buddies now, so i understand taht bit in another situation.

you like the guy yes?
you think he is responsable yes?
not often he smokes pot yes? (the fact its addicting. AND its not offten that you know of, you could get him or ask him to go and stop the habit, is there places in your area that help???)
and he is protective of you which is a good sign i think. but how is this body laungue when another boy talks to you? unease, devensive e.tc and how is the other boys??? if the one talking to you is showning subbmissive body laungue its fine, but the fact he does drink and sometimes takes pot, well he might misinterpt it and start a fight or just tension.
so try and sort it out, but it depends on the situtaion.

over all i think he is a nice guy and if he is sorted out it would be an even better guy.
tell your mom that he is going to get help that you are helping him.
sorry your in this pidicament

hope it helps.
(i never really give advice so this might not help)
Elena

edit- i forgot to add. who gives a h34r2 about how popular he is and how does it make a diffence. im the lowest bit of my class, but once or twice i was popular and hated it. personally i would not care of his status


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## Becca (Aug 17, 2009)

*irishlops wrote: *


> edit- i forgot to add. who gives a h34r2 about how popular he is and how does it make a diffence. im the lowest bit of my class, but once or twice i was popular and hated it. personally i would not care of his status


Yeh... :?

I've never been popular lol. I want people to like me for who I am inside not the way I look or the 'stereotype' I've been given..


Anyway.
If he doesn't smoke pot often whats the point in doing it all? It will be affecting him inside somehow maybe in the long run... it can't be good?! 

Why did you used to hate him? 

I'm not good at giving advice lol but I think if you trust him and your happy with him your mum should be happy hes making you happy!


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## SweetSassy (Aug 17, 2009)

I've learned with my 18 yr. old daughter if you like someone no onecan keep you apart. I hated one of her boyfriends and just had to wait it out. LOl. 

If you like him, and you think it will work, go with your gut feeling. As long as he treats you good. :coolness:


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## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

Well thank you everyone!

April yes he treats me awesome  He doesn't force me into doing anything & well we get along really well.

Also Becca, I dunno we just, he seemed like one of those people you just don't like. We argued. ALOT. Over absolutly nothing lol


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## Becca (Aug 17, 2009)

*SilverBirchRabbitry wrote: *


> Well thank you everyone!
> 
> April yes he treats me awesome  He doesn't force me into doing anything & well we get along really well.
> 
> Also Becca, I dunno we just, he seemed like one of those people you just don't like. We argued. ALOT. Over absolutly nothing lol


LOL!!

And it looks like he makes you incredibly happy 

So just.. don't listen to your parents


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## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

Thanks Becca!
Yes he makes me happy for the most part, right now I'm kinda ticked off at him  
He won't answer me texts, we have been dating for like a week and I'm already clingy, that is bad 
And my dad doesn't know, he would kill me xD


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## Becknutt (Aug 17, 2009)

I remember my highschool days well, and the best thing I can add is parents always think their "little girl" can do better. I don't know that you should be defending his drinking and drug use but you are the only one who knows if it's the right situation for you. I recently marrieda guy that my parents thought wasn'tgood enough for me and my mom loves him now.


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## Kel4mum (Aug 17, 2009)

I don't want to put a damper on things, but smoking pot will make him paranoid, no matter how small the amount he does. That's why he gets cocky to other boys that talk to you, which is not a good thing. He should be able to trust you when it come to the opposite sex, not get defensive.

Another thing I have learnt is that if you are arguing constantly then it will never work. 

As for the being popular thing.....come off it, it's not important, how you are treated IS important.

Your mum is protecting you cos she loves you, and on most occasions, your mother will be right!

However you are a teenager, you need to learn from your own mistakes, but remember your mum is there if you need to talk to her.

Have fun but be sensible


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## slavetoabunny (Aug 17, 2009)

One warning.....if you are with him and he gets stopped and the cops find pot in the car.....you are busted too because you are there. If he cares and respects you, he will not put you at this risk. Talk to him about this. Don't get into a car with him if he has been drinking either. Sorry, mom lecture (and I don't even have children, lol!!!).


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## Kel4mum (Aug 17, 2009)

I am a mother of four, I have done stupid things in my life and am talking from experience.

My mother lecture is now over...lol


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## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

We USED to argue & I have come to a descision. I'm going to talk to him, ask him to stop with smoking pot, he doesn't then it's over. If he does then well it's all good, I hope


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## slavetoabunny (Aug 17, 2009)

*Kel4mum wrote: *


> I am a mother of four, I have done stupid things in my life and am talking from experience.
> 
> My mother lecture is now over...lol


I honestly think that it takes doing stupid things in your lifeto become a responsible person. It's one thing to hear a lecture from an adult about how you're messing up and another to get a "life lesson". Oh, SBR....I am NOT commenting here about your specific situation. Just a comment on life as I know it.


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## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

Thanks Patti  I commented about what you said on the "too many animals thread" lol


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## kirsterz09 (Aug 17, 2009)

Well all I can say is that when I was 16 I dated a guy that was known by everyone to be bad news but, I saw in him something else a nice side and therefore dated him,even though everyone was against it. Unfortunatley it didn't end well for me and I went through a lot of trauma because of him and I learnt from it. If this guy does love and respect you and meets your needs then there is no reason why you shouldn't be with him, however if anything should happen though it's all part of the learning game called life, you have to experience things to learn from it and then you will be able to recognise the signs in someone else in the future and then be able to decide on your past experience whether to be with them or not.


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## Kel4mum (Aug 17, 2009)

*slavetoabunny wrote: *


> *Kel4mum wrote: *
> 
> 
> > I am a mother of four, I have done stupid things in my life and am talking from experience.
> ...



I totally agree with you Patti, you learn from your own mistakes, and thats what I previously told SBR, I just want her to stay safe cos I've seen what drugs can do to people.

I'm sure you will make the right decision SRB, and I wasn't trying to be rude in any way. 



Good Luck with your situation


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## SilverBirchRabbitry (Aug 17, 2009)

Thanks Kelly I texted him and told him I want him to stop doing pot or if not then he can find a new girlfriend.


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## Becca (Aug 17, 2009)

^ Good for you!!! 



x


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## Aina (Aug 17, 2009)

Ok, so I'm not a mom, so I have no excuse to do the whole mom routine, but I shall anyways. (Well... I am a big sister)
With the whole drinking and smoking pot thing I think I would say we could be friends, but no more. I know they don't seem like big things, but they do show a lack of respect for authority and a tendency to be peer pressured, which would worry me. Just being friends would allow you to see how he really is without the obligation of being his girlfriend and all the drama that entails. It would also give you a chance to see if he really does stop smoking pot, or just does so for your benefit. I don't really trust people who say they will change something for a relationship because generally change has to come from the inside, not just to get the girl.


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## Katiedarling (Nov 30, 2014)

I think many women make really great points. Whether they are moms or not. We learn best from our own mistakes. I always hated the mom lectures, but drugs being involved and underage drinking (both are illegal), kind of ups the ante a bit. Please play it safe and protect yourself. I agree about the testing the waters as friends. A guy may seem to treat you great at first, but there will always be subtle clues as to just how much he really respects you. Respect and trust are very important. You can't have one without the other. 
As far as the riding in the car or being with him if he gets stopped by authorities, it is true. You are at risk for being an accessory or of equal responsibility depending on the context. At which point, a major mom lecture will occur! LOL If he willingly puts you at risk for this, that is absolutely a sign of a lack of respect for your safety and your reputation. I think it is great that you asked him to quit the pot. That is how you establish boundaries. They are very important in any relationship. And I agree also about the statement that change has to come from the inside. Say for instance, he lies about quitting. You are with him out and about and he gets pulled over and he is found in possession of pot. What then? Just be careful, have fun, and remember there are lots of awesome guys out there who will treat you as you deserve who don't smoke pot. I hope all works in your favor! :bunny22:


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## Katiedarling (Nov 30, 2014)

slavetoabunny said:


> *Kel4mum wrote: *
> I honestly think that it takes doing stupid things in your lifeto become a responsible person. It's one thing to hear a lecture from an adult about how you're messing up and another to get a "life lesson". Oh, SBR....I am NOT commenting here about your specific situation. Just a comment on life as I know it.


 
Ain't that the truth!


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