# Oma rapiti, oma rapiti...



## Anaira (Apr 13, 2013)

So, I have decided to start a blog. Just 'cos. It will either have hardly any updates, or I will treat it like twitter. Speaking of which, here* is Reuben's twitter. I made him a new one, due to people I know following him that I would rather not. I haven't gotten round to following all my old follows, or hunting down people, and so on. Still don't get on it much these days. :/ Also, his facebook*.


Right then. Should do some kind of an introduction. Firstly, I should probably translate the title. It's Run rabbit, run rabbit...also explains Reuben's second name. Rabbit, and Rabbitson just seemed too mainstream.  The title is appropriate, because both rabbits like to run. Reuben likes to go awol, and sneak out. Nermal likes to run. And climb. Seriously. I think she's part cat.

ANYWAY. Most people know Reuben, and Nermal. Reuben is fat, used to be cranky, but these days is pretty laid back. I think it is laziness. Still capable of beating up the cats and dog though, if they get too close. Nermal is shy, but fast. I think the other half is ninja. Ok, maybe I've just been too used to my cuddle slug, but she gets into some weird places. 

So, their surroundings. There is me. I am an engineering student. Ze furry things are the reason why. I would have preferred pathology, or medicine of some kind, or joining the air force, but all involved abandoning them, due to medicine not being available in this city. *sigh*
Apart from that, I am a sad, pathetic loser who for awhile was too afraid to even go out by herself. No real reason why, just 'cos. I devote my life to being a slave to rats, rabbits, cats, and dog. I also live with guinea pigs, and other cats, and dogs. 

I might possibly get around to posting pictures. Maybe. 

Ooook, I have a feeling this might have been a bad idea. I should turn of the light and allow myself to sleep. But first I will post this, and hope I don't wake up tomorrow and really regret this.
Here. Here is a box full o' guineas.


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## kmaben (Apr 13, 2013)

Yes, Yes I could see how this might be trouble.


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## PaGal (Apr 13, 2013)

I can say for now that I have thoroughly enjoyed the start to your blog!


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## qtipthebun (Apr 13, 2013)

They sleepy rat did me in. That was so freakin' cute. Nermal better get some pictures up fast if she wants to have anything on that.


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Apr 13, 2013)

I think your blog is great! And I think its funny that you made Reuben a twitter account. Too cute, I'll definitely follow it! Maybe I'll make Ash a twitter account too.


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## Anaira (Apr 13, 2013)

Naww, thank you people! I say and do some weird things when I stay up too late...good to see I did nothing overly weird. I was inspired to make Reuben's after another forum member made her rabbit one. Speaking of which, haven't seen her around lately...
Definitely make Ash one!

The rat is Ashley. He is trouble. Cute trouble, but trouble. He's not actually sleepy, he's just pulling the paper through; eye's shut 'cos of the bar. Who anyone who doesn't know, the paper is a Smashing Pumpkin song reference; Bullet with Butteryfly Wings. 


I don't have any pictures of the rabbits that I haven't already posted here, so that's why I decided I'd better post something cute. Box o' guineas ticked the box! But, I dunno if I've ever posted this one here, so you get it now. ehehe.


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## Anaira (Apr 13, 2013)

Oh, I am sick, and wrapped up in my blanky, and trying to decide if I should go to a rat meet or not. I feel more or less fine, but it is at a pregnant ladies house. I don't wanna give her any bugs, so I think I will stay home. *sigh*

However, I decided I might as well take a picture of my tile. It is a bad picture, but you get the idea.


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## kmaben (Apr 13, 2013)

Watch out! He's Angry!! Imma poke him with a stick!


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Apr 13, 2013)

Yes, I'll make Ash a account for sure!

I loved the pictures especially the one of your sign. Hahaha! That one set me off laughing! :laugh::roflmao:


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## Nancy McClelland (Apr 13, 2013)

:yeahthat::roflmao::laugh:


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## Chrisdoc (Apr 13, 2013)

Great start and love all the pics...a twitter account for your rabbit...rabbits tweeting...interesting thought...although I´m sure they´d make more sense than some people. Love the rat, cutie pie.


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## sweet_buns (Apr 13, 2013)

Loved reading your blog! Can we has moar pics pls? ^.^


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## Anaira (Apr 13, 2013)

Well, I'll start off by linking all the threads I've posted my rabbits in, for easy reference for me, too. I don't really have any new pictures, but I have a grooming/cuddle session planned for later, so I will see what my phone can do in the way of pictures! 

Here. Here is a little motivational thingy. I *know* the cutting and pasting is terrible. I was on a horrible computer that wouldn't play nice.






Aw man. I wanted to post the original picture that I took that angry print of Rubey, so I'm trawling through my photobucket. It seems I didn't tag that one, so I'm sifting through. So many past furfriends pictures, I'm getting all sad.  It's like..man, you're all dead. And I'm still here. You're more than dead, you're in the past. 
Anyway. Here, a baby Willoughby, and Galahad. They were supposed to be friends, and no it didn't work out. We now know they don't really mix the way cats and dogs do. 





Hmm. Can't find the picture. Now it is bugging me. I don't have any of my old pictures on my laptop, so I'm stuck. Here is a demanding kitten, instead.





Anyway; my First Thread*. Second thread*. And my Christmas Thread!*

Sorry chaps, that's all I got. Well. That's a lie. I actually have a lot, but I had better stop. Unless you'd like a post introducing all furry members of this house, with multiple pictures? Too bad, I'm too lazy to do it.


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## sweet_buns (Apr 13, 2013)

Thanks a bunch for the links! I <3 your bunnies! ^.^


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## Anaira (Apr 14, 2013)

*bleedy picture further down. Nothing major, just a small cut that bleed heaps. Also a Reuben picture*

Sweet buns! I only just realized you're Annette.  I was actually wondering awhile back what happened to you; turns out you were actually already back. lol. 

Well, I got busy yesterday, rearranging my room. I moved the rabbit's cage, and Reuben instantly went and pee'd where it used to be. Except it didn't go on the lino, it went on the concrete where Nermal has torn up the lino, and it seeped underneath the lino. Poobum. Then this morning, I swept up all the hay, poo, and spilt litter, and sat down to er, rest. He went up to it, and then foot flicked through it. Kicking it every where. Fat ball of lard. I got a picture of him relaxing after that strenuous effort at making my life harder.

Turbo thought it would be clever to climb up onto the older boys cage. It wasn't. They nipped his tail, which bled heaps, as tails do. I wasn't in the room at the time, so I come back later, to see...well, you'll see it. I promise it is just a small cut, the lumpy looking stuff is just clotted blood. Toads. It's fine this morning, should heal well.


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## Anaira (Apr 14, 2013)

There's nothing wrong with that!  I keep planning on turning that into a t-shirt, lol. But I just haven't been able to get a picture of a rat I'm happy with. tbh, whenever I see this blog, I just start singing the run rabbit song, hehe.


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## HolyHandGrenade (Apr 15, 2013)

Consider yourself followed.

That's not supposed to sound creepy.


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## sweet_buns (Apr 15, 2013)

Anaira said:


> Sweet buns! I only just realized you're Annette.  I was actually wondering awhile back what happened to you; turns out you were actually already back. lol.



Hehe, yeah i went on hiatus for a bit. We actually were without the internet for a few weeks after we moved into our new place, then there was just so much to do i was hardly sitting down at my computer at all for a while. I have a new bunny since the last time i visited the forums (actually i don't remember if i had him already and introduced him or not), he's a big fuzzy english angora. ^.^


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## kmaben (Apr 15, 2013)

Ariana I've been dying to ask. Were you in Lord of the Rings?'


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## Anaira (Apr 15, 2013)

No.  I was just little when they came out. I *cough* have only watched the third one...Planning to watch the other two now though! I couldn't apply for the Hobbit, because of study. My tutor was an extra though!

No, I haven't watched that yet, either. 


Don't worry, you will have to do much to outcreep me. h34r2:lurker


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## Anaira (Apr 15, 2013)

One day I will get round to it!

So here's a picture I took of McFattyrolls this morning. It was still dark, Nermal come up well on my phone even in normal light. But I will get one at some point!


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## Chrisdoc (Apr 18, 2013)

Haha, he´s so handsome and doesn´t look as though he´s bothered. Just another day at the office lol.


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## sweet_buns (Apr 18, 2013)

Anaira said:


> One day I will get round to it!
> 
> So here's a picture I took of McFattyrolls this morning. It was still dark, Nermal come up well on my phone even in normal light. But I will get one at some point!



*giggles at the roll of fat spilling out of the cage* inkelepht:


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## Anaira (Apr 19, 2013)

I have been surprisingly consistent with this blog so far! I amaze myself. And Reuben.

I have some pictures. 
Well, ok, only one rabbit one made the quality cut. But I thought I'd show this cool little thing off as well. It's being displayed where I study. Isn't it awesome? Making plans to smash the glass and grab it.  Shhh, don't tell anyone.


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## I_heart_Fraggles (Apr 19, 2013)

No cage can contain The great jigglebun! :bow:bow:bow


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Apr 19, 2013)

Haha, that picture with Reuben's fat squeezing out of the cage bars was too funny!


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## Anaira (Apr 20, 2013)

Reuben and Nermal are slightly displeased. This morning they got chased by the halfies, and just now I've moved my old dog Cody's bedding inside my room. I've booked in his final appointment, but certain people find him annoying, so I've moved him in here for his last two weeks. Reuben and Nermal are NOT happy. 

Ah well, they'll live! Hopefully I'll be able to sleep through the thumping...


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## Anaira (May 1, 2013)

13 years came to an end today. I am 20. I can't really remember life without him being there. I'm used to dead bodies. I've seen plenty of dead animals. But I've never seen him dead. 












I am a mess.


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## kmaben (May 1, 2013)

Oh honey I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what your going through. You'd probably have to put me in the crazy house when my old dog finally goes.
:in tears:Thinking about you


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## PaGal (May 1, 2013)

:angel:I am so very, very sorry for your loss.


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## HolyHandGrenade (May 1, 2013)

Oh that's so tough  Sorry for your loss.


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## Ilovemyrabbit (May 1, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Its never easy.


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## sweet_buns (May 3, 2013)

Ugh, it's so heart breaking even when they're not your own. Very sorry for your loss.


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## Anaira (May 10, 2013)

Dammit, I typed out a reply, then something weird happened and I lost it all. Oh well. I'm ok now, I guess you just have to move on. Too much going on to waste emotions on grief atm. It's my sisters wedding tomorrow, so that will be interesting.

Last night Reuben binky'd around a lot. From what I can see, he's spent most of today sitting like a flat rugby ball, snuggled with Nermal. In his defence, it is cold! Either that, or he's exhausted himself.


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## JBun (May 10, 2013)

If Reuben is anything like my big bun, it takes A LOT of energy to get that big butt off the ground for a binky. It's almost like a slow motion thing. He'll do one, maybe two, then just explore the rest of the time with regular hopping around. My little buns zip around popcorning and binkying like crazy fools, and it doesn't seem to wear them out a bit.


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## Anaira (May 10, 2013)

Hmm well that was while I was in here, on my laptop. When I went out to the lounge, I saw them both tiptoe past the hall, into other bedrooms. When I came back to my room, they were both back exactly where they were before; same position, same place. There is a reason no one trusts them, but my darling innocents are innocent! They were just playing a game. No way they could ever have nefarious plans.

Right?


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## Anaira (May 18, 2013)

Nothing in the world touches that soft spot on my heart quite like Reuben and Nermal licking each other. nawww. Unfortunately they are a private couple, and I haven't managed a video, but I have collected several bunfia death threats.


So at some point during my sister's wedding plans I mentioned that Reuben wanted to be a ring bearer, and that he didn't think he should be left out. Since she is the one who feeds him behind my back(and sometimes blatantly in front of my back, too), he thought they had something special. Never mind that he'd bite her if he felt like it, he thinks everyone should adore him, even if he doesn't return the favour. 
I got poo-hoo'd. 

Mum's best friend is Reuben's old owner's mother, and she loves seeing him when she comes around, and hearing the stories, etc. The first thing she said to me(apart from Hullo, etc) after the wedding ceremony was asking why Reuben wasn't here. :biggrin: She had the exact same thought about him being a ring bearer. See, I'm not a crazy person! Sane people thought of it too!


I dunno about the droppings down the church aisle though. Hmmm.


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## Anaira (Jun 13, 2013)

Hullo peoples. I am insanely busy with all the assignments that are due soon that I haven't started, and tests, exams, and whatnot. Basically a tana umaga amount of work. So here are some pictures of me hitting the books like the diligent student I am.

They were having relationship issues, so I had to do marriage counselling. Didn't really work, since Reuben got jealous every time I patted her, but they're friends again now.


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## Anaira (Jun 17, 2013)

(to clarify, Turbo, Dragon, Ira, and Levi are some of my rats)

So, been doing a few half nighters lately, and last night was an all nighter to try and finish off this last assignment, due today, before exams. I get Turbo and Dragon out, and put them on my bed so they can play and muck about. Turbo decides early morning he is going to climb off my bed, on top of the big boys cage. The big boys, Ira and Levi, hate the little boys guts. 
At some point, not sure when, Turbo's tail got nipped. Tails normally bleed excessively. This is a particularly deep cut, and it bled a LOT. I noticed him no longer bouncing around, but flopped down. I pick him up. He's more red than champagne(his colour). I quickly become more red than white(my colour). 

First, I figure out where the wound actually is. Wasn't actually that easy. Cornflour stops bleeding, but we're out, so I used custard powder; it's mostly cornflour! It still keeps bleeding, with chunks of caked up blood-custard powder all over the place. Trying to clean him up with a wet paper towel, get more blood running over me. He's still really lethargic, I start to panic about too much blood-loss. Offer him nommy food, which he attempts to eat, but flops over. I try chocolate chips, same result. I leave them on the chair, and go to get something else. 

Meet mum, who nearly has hysterics at the blood and cornflour mix smeared all over me(ok, hysterics is hyperbole. Smeared all over me is NOT.) Couple of hours with him, debating if he needs sub-cut fluids or not. He starts to pick up, eat soup, and sit up on his own. YAY! Never would have forgiven myself if he hadn't made it, because he has climbed up on the others cage before, and had his tail nipped. Should not have given him the opportunity to climb up there again. And he won't get it either. 

At that point, I realize I am sitting on the chocolate chips. Still am. I look so dodgy. I *should* shower before going into tec, but....I haven't showed since last Monday. I'm really not all that bothered. Highly likely I won't actually. 

Brings to mind the domestic psychopath who butchered her neighbours with an axe, boiled their blood to a solid, mixed it with flour, sugar, eggs, and chocolate, and made tea cakes. Very crunchy and sweet, apparently. I swear I'm not a psychopath, but the similarities just keep coming...
I realize this isn't very coherent, but I never am at the best of times. Add no sleep, and recovering panic attacks, and I don't even make sense to me. No wait, I never make sense to me. Rabbits are staying well away. Heeeeeelp.
Oh, and last night was apparently make yanna counsellor night. Three people I ended up listening to/advising on emotional/mental health issues. So yeah, didn't get too much work done, all in all.





At this point, I realize I still have a thousand words to do. Well bunny-hump that.


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## Pipsqueak (Jun 17, 2013)

I just read through your blog.  Eek I'm glad Turbo's okay. So tails are like ears with bleeding huh? Didn't know that lol.


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## Anaira (Jun 23, 2013)

Yeah, it's crazy how much they bleed. Not that I've had to deal with a bleeding rabbit ear. Take ages to heal, too. 

Assignments are all in, who knows how well I did. Hopefully I pass them, lol. Now exams to get through. Lovely.


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## Pipsqueak (Jun 23, 2013)

Good luck on your assignments!


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jun 23, 2013)

Yes good luck!


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## Anaira (Jun 24, 2013)

Thanks guys! Got my first exam tomorrow; I'm sorta studying hard. 
Rabbits are hanging out in mum's room a lot lately, which annoys her because she's allergic to them. She woke me up last night by coming into my room, asking if I had them. There was something under her bed, and she said it wasn't a cat. Turns out it was a cat, she'd kicked him out but he'd sneaked back in. Blaming my precious babies! They would totally never do anything like burrowing inside bed bases. *stares at Nermal*

Took my sister's dog Ruby for a walk today, and bawled the entire time because it wasn't Cody.


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## Anaira (Jun 25, 2013)

Walking to my exam this morning, I saw a white NZ rabbit in someone's driveway. No gate. Was worried he'd hop out in the road or something; so knocked on their door to check. Wasn't hers, he was from two doors up; his owner was away, he'd figured out how to escape from his place, and he was spending his time hopping between three houses, being fed, eating the lady's garden,(she didn't mind), and basically living a hobo's life. 
The guy's daughter knew about it, but didn't seem to be doing anything. Apparently he's smart enough to stay off the road, and the cats around aren't interested. So....yeah. 
My brother, who was with me, spent the rest of the walk trying to convince me that's how Reuben and Nermal should live. Sure. 

White rabbits are good luck, right?


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jun 25, 2013)

Aww, poor bunny. I hope he gets back to his home soon.

LOL, you would think that white rabbits are good luck.


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## Pipsqueak (Jun 27, 2013)

Poor bunny I hope he doesn't get hurt. White rabbits probably make you late for things...


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## Anaira (Jun 30, 2013)

haha I was ages early anyway, so no chance of being late. Used up a bit of time that would have been spent in nerves, anyway. :S He seems to just hop between the three houses, sounds like he goes back to his hutch at night.


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## Anaira (Jul 19, 2013)

Ohai! I'm alive! I passed all my papers! Life's still an uphill battle, but I'm slowly getting better at figuring out how to stop the downward slide. Did a big clean out and rearrangement of my room last night, and shuffled cages around. Turbo and Dragon are now in the old boys cage, because it was bigger, and the old boys just have a little one they can climb into to eat, poop, wee, and drink. 
They've been free-ranging 24/7 for a few weeks now, and it's going pretty well. They mostly sleep in my bed, and climb up on my bookshelf(sigh) to muck about, etc. I have a sort of loft bed, so the rabbits don't need to worry about them, they're too old to climb down. The rabbits are also pretty good at keeping cats out, although Pearly's started coming in. She doesn't realize the rats free-range, but I still have to keep my door shut, which the rabbits aren't happy about.
Ira had an abscess come up right by his penis. He had to have surgery to remove it, but it's come back. Also his aunt Harper has an open abscess thing right by her vulva, and Ira's sister Leila has a suspicious bulge/lump in about the same place. Harper's sister(the sibling's mum) died of weird internal bleeding in the perineal area, which we weren't able to solve before she died. It seems to be genetic in this horribly inbreed family. *sigh* 


Anyway. Reuben had his nails clipped this morning, and my sister took pictures of his marshmallowness. What would I do without this guy? <3 He deserves better than me.


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## Anaira (Jul 19, 2013)

I swear Nermal knows exactly what a camera is, and what I do with the pictures. I ended up using my dog's large plastic bed for litter, and hay. She was in a large pile of hay, eating, and I picked the camera up casually, casually pointing it in her direction and...she looked at me, and jumped out. BAH! I got one of her anyway. I swear she does and stands by poop deliberately.

Oh, and here's one of Ira, all snuggled up in my bed, and Elsa, curled up on my laptop. She wouldn't give it up, either; every time I moved her, she'd be back. Even as I was typing.


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## Anaira (Jul 19, 2013)

So long time no posty on the forum. Well, now it's yanna spam time! I had a camera, there were rabbits. So, I took photos. Unfortunately, it's been so long since I've touched a camera, I seem to have lost my skills. Oh well. Pixelated pictures it is. Also a video, which sadly gets pretty shaky when I zoom in on his mouth. That's him munching loudly, btw. ;D I have no idea why the camera makes such clunking sounds.

Excuse the room, I'm still rearranging things. As for the poop...they poop where they want. *sigh* 
[ame="http://youtu.be/zem2PgHKsTQ"]Reuben eating[/ame]


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## Azerane (Jul 19, 2013)

Aww, how cute. They sure do poop where they want. Bandit, bless him, is very good at using his litter tray. But one day when I went into his room there was just poop everywhere! I'm not sure what happened, but thank goodness it was a one off.

Your buns are very cute


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## Anaira (Jul 19, 2013)

Thank you!

Reuben used to be pretty good, but once Nermal came, she never really caught on, and Reuben just followed suit. They use the litter trays, but they also just go where they want, if they feel like it. Luckily I have lino, even if it is hideous, but once I bought a rug, and they ruined that. Gah.


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jul 20, 2013)

Oh your buns are so cute!  Ash is pretty good with his litter box but like Bec said one day I came and looked in his tray and I saw poop al over the place. He usually poops in his litter box though. Thank god for that!


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## Anaira (Jul 20, 2013)

Thank you! Of course, all rabbits are cute, but I can't help but feel Reuben takes the cake. Er, I didn't mean that literally. Even though he has done, before. And Nermal provides me with great fun, I love watching her. At the moment, I think she's practising the new olympic sport: mouth tossing. She seems to be trying to see how far she can throw a piece of wire. 

It occurred to me as I logged on, that I had no idea what my profile picture was. I remembered once I saw it, lol, but now I'm wondering if I should change it or not. Hmm. Decisions, decisions.


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## kmaben (Jul 21, 2013)

I was perusing petfinder and came across this bun that looked exactly like Reuben. Except she's a she! Same ears and eyeliner same....roundness and dewlap. I was a bit blown away and told Omar he had to go down and visit with her. He knows who Reuben is so I'm waiting for him to be super impressed!


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## Anaira (Jul 21, 2013)

Tell Omar he has to come back with her. I'm sure your dad would love her!

Linky?


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## Anaira (Jul 21, 2013)

We've been having a few quakes lately. Just had the biggest one yet. Nermal's looking a little worried, Reuben is placidly settled on his built-in cushions. Nothing could ever touch the great jigglebun, surely??

Quakes haven't affected us at all, just the last one nearly made some vases go over, and the house creaked. We're used to 'em here.  They do seem to be building up though. 

Power's flicking. We were lucky we didn't lose power during the huge storms recently, or in the quakes yet, but we might eventually.


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jul 21, 2013)

I luce Reubens built in cushions! Glad you guys aren't being affected by quakes. I don't think I would like to have any quakes around here. Would be a bit creepy to feel the whole house shaking.


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## Anaira (Aug 25, 2013)

We've had another big one,(and aftershocks) which caused a bit of damage in the town closest to it. Bit of speculation as to if that was 'the big one' or just more lead up. We've been expecting a big one for years in my city, but actually we've not had any activity in our local faults for a while. 

Anyway!!! I've adopted a 13 year old husky.  He's just moved in. I would give you pictures, but Nermal broke into my rabbit-free cords area, and nibbled my usb cord. So I can't. Everything's going ok so far, Beaudine is a little sulky, but he's behaving; Ruby is not, but she's little so we don't need to worry about her eating him lol. Mixed reaction from the cats, some are definitely not happy...Set(husky) is highly interested in the guinea pigs, so he will not be allowed in my room where the rats and rabbits are at all. Reuben has seen him though....he ain't happy either. 

So that's my news.


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## Anaira (Mar 21, 2014)

Hi. It's been awhile. I've been pretty **** at this life thing the past few months. Ended up finding out on my yearly check up that I had hyperthyroidism, which among other things, basically sent me crazy. I wasn't remembering things, sometimes I'd forget even what word was supposed to come next, or how to say words, while talking. But I also wasn't really aware of how bad I was - it wasn't until my levels started to drop back to normal that I looked back, and went 'good god, I was sick'. Now, I can't actually really remember those few months very well. I do remember that my rat became sick, respiratory infection, and he was started on a round of antibiotics. Despite setting myself reminders left, right, and centre, I would forget to give him his meds. Sometimes just one dose, sometimes I think it was nearly a week. I can't even remember how long that went on for, but obviously, you can't get better if you don't take your antibiotics regularly. 

And he didn't. One day, I managed to just pull my head back, look around, and realize I had lost it. I gave up on everything. Mum insisted the rabbits go outside, my sister agreed to take Turbo and Dragon on (they were supposed to be hers, anyway), and I just sat around and cried for about a whole week. I usually never cry. 

It was too late, Dragon died anyway. I basically rejected everyone I love, and trashed my room. Before hyperthyroidism started messing me up, I had been trying to pull myself out of depression, and look after myself - which I haven't been doing for years. After Dragon died, I didn't feel worthy of having anyone inside my heart. It's kinda weird to explain, but I stopped caring about anyone - even Reuben. They had a ****ty time of it for a couple of week - just food, water, and hay. I don't really have a hold on what life was like, especially since, no matter what, to almost everyone my automatic front is 'everything is fine', so if I look back to conversations I had with people at the time, online, everything does seem normal.

I can't remember why, but I knew my rabbits couldn't be neglected, so I took them into my car for some attention. Dammit, the love they gave me broke me again. I don't deserve to be their mum. I don't deserve the love my girls' give me. I don't deserve the affection Seth gives me. I don't deserve to have them, to love. I definitely don't deserve to have people think of me as a good caretaker. But, dammit, they DO love me, so the best I can do now, is make sure I don't ever eff them up, like Dragon. 

They're now living inside again, which we are all happy about. Seth sleeps in my room, so they do need to stay in a pen, but they don't really care that much. For now.

I'm not looking for sympathy. It's just...confession, I suppose. I don't want to be looked on as a great owner, because I'm not. My levels have been normal for the past two months, which is good, and I think I'm on the up and up. It took awhile, but I got my room cleaned - I was sleeping on the floor for a while, because I couldn't be bothered putting my mattress back on my bed, but I've managed to clear out a lot of useless stuff, and I now live in organised chaos. Instead of just chaos. 

Somehow, with help from a couple of great guys, I managed to pass two of my papers from that trimester. I feel I deserved to fail them all, since I couldn't managed to look after Dragon, but I guess it's good that I didn't. 


My memory's still pretty useless. So, yeah. Here's a picture of the two of them, from last night.


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## HolyHandGrenade (Mar 31, 2014)

Sorry to hear you're having troubles. The memory thing really struck me, because when I could still afford to get bloodwork done, my doc said my thyroid was borderline hyper. I haven't had it checked in four or five years. And holy crap my short term memory keeps getting worse. I make reminders on my phone to do stuff, and then I'll go to do it but get distracted by the tiniest thing and never do it. I get so angry at myself and the clutter I live in. I think I better try to get my regular bloodwork done during my physical this year.

~ Holy Hand Grenade, that's a huge bunny!


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