# life with winnie and pantoulfe



## katt (Jan 27, 2008)

well, everyone knows my winnie. . .







only the cutest black lop you will find anywere! but i JUST added pantoulfe, a black tort fuzzy holland. so i decided i would make a brand new blog for 2008. . .

anyway, here is my boy:
















and last, a video of him! watch all the way to the end for winnie and pantoulfe introduction!


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## swanlake (Jan 27, 2008)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

cuteness OVERLOAD!!!!!!!

i want him!!:biggrin2:


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## TinysMom (Jan 27, 2008)

They're both so cute -but I LOVE his name.....how did you come up with it? I couldn't figure out how to pronounce it till I saw the video...

Peg


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## katt (Jan 27, 2008)

there is a movie called chocolat with jonny depp.. . in the movie there is a little girl who has an imaginary kangaroo named pantoulfe, the movie is based on a book. i read the book and in the book anouk(the young girl) has an imaginary rabbit, not a kangaroo. . . i love his role in the book, and i fell in love with the name. . .


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## tundrakatiebean (Jan 27, 2008)

yay Pantoulfe! Great name Katt!

He's absolutely adorable :biggrin2:


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## SnowyShiloh (Jan 27, 2008)

Oh my gosh he's so cute! Congrats! I'm sorry to hear the other litter died, but I'm glad you found a good bunny. 

Tallulah wants to know if maybe she and Pantoulfe are related?


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## katt (Jan 27, 2008)

thanks guys! how about a little bit more of Pantoulfe cuteness!











and last, a little cuddle bug!


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## katt (Jan 27, 2008)

*SnowyShiloh wrote: *


> Oh my gosh he's so cute! Congrats! I'm sorry to hear the other litter died, but I'm glad you found a good bunny.
> 
> Tallulah wants to know if maybe she and Pantoulfe are related?



pantoulfe says he sure hopes not, as he is in LOVE!!!

pantoulfe also says "hey tallulah, will you go steady with me?"


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## LuvaBun (Jan 28, 2008)

Pantoulfe is just precious. I hope he and Winnie can become friends

BTW - I love that pic of Winnie, such a wonderful facial expression 

Jan


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## jordiwes (Jan 28, 2008)

Soooooooo cute!

What's the storybehind Pantoulfe? How did you come by sucha bundle of cuteness?


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## Bo B Bunny (Jan 28, 2008)

pantoulfe says "Mama dis not how widdle bunnies sposed to sit".....


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## Bassetluv (Jan 28, 2008)

:inlove:

What a sweetheart!!!!


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## tundrakatiebean (Jan 28, 2008)

*Bo B Bunny wrote: *


> pantoulfe says "Mama dis not how widdle bunnies sposed to sit".....



I would so kill you if I wasn't stuck!

hardyharhar


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## Bo B Bunny (Jan 28, 2008)

That too! 

He either looks like a tiny, cute, confused little bunny or

a tiny, cute, stuck and ready to hurt someone little bunny! LOL!


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## katt (Jan 29, 2008)

how about some more pantoulfe photos?
















being the romantic little french bunny that he is, he totally loves nora roberts books with me

btw- what a little cuddle bun, he layed sprawled on my chest for about an hour just chillin. . .


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## swanlake (Jan 29, 2008)

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

*sigh* i wish my buns would snuggle and read with me, instead they like to EAT my books.


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## katt (Feb 2, 2008)

i know! i have never had such a cuddly bunny before!

i had him out tonight, and he was exploring the couch a little, or so i though! really he was just working his way to me, up my arm, and onto my sholder where he cuddled right into my neck, rested his head on me, and began to fall straight to sleep.

anyway, i have 3 more pantoulfe photos tonight! i am sadden to say it will be a while before winnie photos will make an appearnce, as she is yet to forgive me for bringing home another rabbit (although she walks near his cage, and binkies around it, which i have to take as a good sign)


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## Bo B Bunny (Feb 2, 2008)

Love that little guy! 

Bo reads with me - then eats my book!


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## katt (Feb 6, 2008)

tonights adventure in winnie's apartment. . . because we all know that this apartment and everything in it, including the 2 human inhabitants, belong to her. . .anyway, jessica takes a shower and we put a movie in, all the sudden we hear a crush, bang, shuffle-shuffle. camera in hand (because anything my rabbit does that makes that much noise is bound to be photo worthy) i head to the source, the bathroom.

there i find winnie licking the water off the bathtub floor. because obviously the 3 water bowls in the house for winnie, including the one SITTING IN THE BATHROOM just isn't enough for her











and one after she jumped out giving me a "what are you looking at?" look







oh, and here is some pantoulfe!
















size comparision:

the day i got him






today






and today pantoulfe got more toys! i am trying very hard to wait till we move to make him his NIC cage. . . so he is currently living in a cage


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## SnowyShiloh (Feb 6, 2008)

Awww I love your bunnies! Winnie is such a riot and so pretty! And Pantoulfe, my goodness. He is so sweet. I love baby lops! I feel so lucky to have Tallulah in my life and I'm very glad you have Pantoulfe. I don't think he could be any more adorable! I love his coloring too. How old is he now? How is his litter training going? Tallulah's one day short of 12 weeks and still poops and pees wherever. I think she's old enough to start being trained now, I'm just wondering how a bunny of a similar age is doing. She usually pees on me when we snuggle so I have to put down a trash bag with a towel on top! Oh and Tallulah is a little young to have a boyfriend, let's see in a couple months though :biggrin2: I think it's funny how Pantoulfe definitely looks like a little boy and Tallulah definitely looks like a little girl. I compare our two a lot simply because they're the same breed, similar ages and are both ADORABLE!


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## tundrakatiebean (Feb 6, 2008)

The on the back bunny pose changed from "mama what are you doing?" to "I will murder you in your sleep...if your lucky" 

He is growing really fast!


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## katt (Feb 6, 2008)

thanks shiloh! i feel so blessed to have both winnie and pantoulfe in my life right now! Pantoulfe is about 8 weeks old now, so he is still about a month younger then tallulah. pantoulfe isn't even thinking about littertraining. but i only want to train him to his cage, and that is what winnie uses as a litter box (since she is free range). and he is yet to even be allowed off the couches to run around. untill i can trust him more he will be givin freedom in short quantities. i won't push litter training untill he is fixed really!


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## LuvaBun (Feb 6, 2008)

LOL!! Winnie! Don't you know young ladies don't drink bath water. Whatever next - drinking out the toilet pan :shock:

Jan


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## AngelnSnuffy (Feb 7, 2008)

So cute! I love Pantoulfe! Looks like Snuff. Great pics, I'm so glad he's a cuddler, aw.


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## katt (Feb 11, 2008)

Memories of Breeding



I sit here tonight, drugged up on night-quill as I am sicker then 2 dogs right now, and thinking about my rabbits. Not just my fluffy buns that are spoiled in the house today, but also the buns from my breeding days. They are a constant reminder to me of my past, and what has built my character. Every time I walk out to my car during the winter with snow blowing in my face like a bitter-cold punch, every time I bundle myself up, scrap my car off, and fight with the mountains of snow on the ground I am drawn instantly back to my weekends growing up, cleaning the rabbit barn, hours, apron hours hauling wheel-borrows of rabbit poo, of cleaning, breeding, feeding, watering. I missed many parties, lost many friends, and was considered an âoutcasteâ many times because of the bunnies, but I was okay with it.


Recently I have seen troubling things when it comes to rabbits. Bad breeding and management choices, people trying to be wiser then they are. I have seen adults drawn to the level of name calling because out of the frustration of attempts of helping they are left with nothing else they can try to do to get the attention of a bunny-person in hopes that maybe they will rethink their unwise ways.


This makes me wonder just how well of a rabbit-breeder I was. Did I do enough? Did I give them enough? Did I take to much on? is that why I sold out? Was I to compassionate? Or was I to harsh?


It is amazing how much a single person, well a single rabbitry can make me consider all these things.


Breeding taught me many, many things about life and about myself. I dealt with my fair share of rude breeders, nasty lines, and disappointing shows. I made mistakes, and know I did, but I never once made a risk so great that it could have caused the life of one of my girls.


The scary thing about breeding rabbits, well, any animal for that matter, it that it gives a human the chance to âplay godâ. In their own little enclosure, a breeder chooses who stays and who goes, what rabbits are breed, what rabbits are pets. Often times a breeder chooses life or death of a rabbit. They are the feeder, groomer, caretaker, show handler, and vet. All in one. No training necessary. They just pick up some rabbits and a couple of cages and go for it. If they want to breed rabbit âaâ with rabbit âbâ even though they know they shouldnât who cares they are the almighty ârabbit breederâ.


I was reminded all this today by a topic I read, a scary topic that almost brought me to tears. I never thought I would see the day where an RO member truly treated their rabbit like âjust a rabbitâ. And they did. Part of me is shammed, not for myself, and not for RO, but for the fact that there are people so ignorant to the happenings of life that they can do something so utterly careless.


I try to keep my nose out of the breeder/rabbitry part of RO, just because talking about breeding still hurts. It honestly hurts. I loved the rabbits I produced and owned; I loved every single one of them. But I would give up those years of breeding and showing just to have trixie back, or more importantly to not have her death be looming over my head. Because I was careless enough to breeder her over and over again, to give up those years longer I could have had with her. You want to talk about guilt? About shame? I took years of my best friend simply to produce some show quality babies. Did I over breeder her? No. but I still put her at risk, and chipped away years of her life ever time I took her to a bucks cage.


The rabbits were sold; my ribbons are in a box, my standard tucked away. The cages sold, barn gone. What caused me to stop? Why did I give up a passion? Because one day I was looking at a litter of babies, but I didnât see rabbits, I saw ear numbers. Because one day I choose to end a rabbits life, not because it was already dieing, but because its past was so carelessly bred it was vicious and unhandleable. Because I couldnât stand to stay up in the long night hours with a baby rabbit that was failing to live. I couldnât handle those hours of death thrashes, the final gasp of air, the pain you can see in their eyes. I couldnât take the numerous unwanted rabbits that were dumped on me at my door, at the shows. The sight of breeders caring so little for their stock. Rabbits underfed, in dirty conditions, so bored they pulled on their wire cages till their teeth were out of alignment. I got out of the rabbitry world because I saw too much of the worst of it. There are good, no great, people in the breeding world. But seeing 1 bad breeder can ruin me for every 100 good I see.


My rabbits today are who they are because I bred. I spoil my rabbits because of the times I walked into rabbitries and saw nothing in the cage but food and water. I spoil my rabbits because of rabbit after rabbit I would attempt to socialize that came from breeder who besides sexing, breeding, showing and tattooing, didnât handle their rabbits.


So why am I saying all this, ranting on and on about rabbits? Because I was reminded tonight that it was past time I remembered all those hard memories of breeding. Because I read about a breeder that I have no respect for, and I had to relive my memories of breeding to remind myself that I wasnât that person. That I didnât put my rabbits through that kind of h*ll.


I just had to remember


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## TinysMom (Feb 11, 2008)

This has got to be one of the saddest - and most heartwarming and honest posts I've read .... and I'm sitting here weeping.

Like you, I lost a beloved doe (GingerSpice) and I often wonder if perhaps I had not bred her...if I would still have her now. She started getting ill when she started weaning her litter...and she went downhill. I blame myself for her early death....I did all I could for her after she got ill...but I should never have bred her (to top things off - we still have her son - he has maloclussion and we have to trim his teeth regularly).

I rarely go to shows anymore (I didn't go much before)...and I honestly don't care for 95% of the breeders I've dealt with in the past because they look at their rabbits as "livestock" and not individuals. My last few breedings have been so that I can use does IF I continue breeding and I needed them bred by a certain age. Others that I think would give me beautiful babies - are past their prime - so I'm retiring them unbred....even if they are from excellent lines and I paid good money for them.

What you saw and what you experienced have done one good thing for you - they've made you a better bunny mom now....

Anyway - I say all this to say, "Thank you for your awesome post. It touched my heart and I needed something to help me cry and release some stress. Your post really helped me."

Peg


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## katt (Feb 11, 2008)

thank you peg.

i just sat there reading a bad post (i won't say which one) and i just couldn't contain myself.

i wrote it all out, and looked at it for about 10 minutes debating on posting it.

in the end, i am happy i did. hopefully others will read it and get a better understanding of how choices with their rabbits can affect their lives.

if i would have known what i know now, back then when i breed trixie, i would have never done it. not once. if i would have known back then how hard it was to sit with her those hours while she died, i never would have considered it.

you don't know what the bottom feels like, untill you have your best friend laying in your arms slowly dying while you just sit there singing phil collin's "you'll be in my heart" over and over again because that was her favorite song. hours of singing, and all you want to do is scream "i am so sorry"

regret is a bitter 6-letter word

trixie died 2 1/2 years ago. she was 4 1/2 when she died, far to young in my mind

let this be my anti-breeding warning. . .


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## Bo B Bunny (Feb 11, 2008)

It's very much important, insightful and from the heart! I am happy you decided to post it. Too bad all people thinking of breeding don't read it.


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## katt (Feb 14, 2008)

lazy dayz, winnie style

there is a calmness in the air of the apartment, as i sit cuddled on the couch, my daily herbal tea in hand, my morning book in hand (yes, i am such an avide reader i have a morning book, bed book, bath book, car book, work book, at any givin time i am reading between 5 and 10 books). the only noise to be hear is a slight movement from pantoulfe's cage while he slides his backfeet across the floor of the cage in an attempt to streach out just a little more. i feel a presence across the room, and look over to see winnie hopping in with the usual look of sophitication. oh the rabbit i have raised. outside a storm is more then brewing, it is tearing our world apart. snow thrashing around in the bitter wind. but inside with the heat turned up just a little to make cozy more then a word, we are content.

winnie feeling happy and playfull does a quick lap around the room, binking every few seconds to show that she is happy, then quietly settles down for a rest. noticing this i of coarse grab my camera, always at hand, mimic a crocadile hunter voice and proceed to creep closer "well, there's a beaut! let's take a closer gander, shall we?", winnie totally unimpressed just sits with a now smug disapproving bunny look on her face. i decide no more games, before somebody get hurt, and the somebody would for sure be me, and settle in from some bunny cuddlin'. deciding i am ready to get up off the floor, i leave winniein herrestfull bunny nap, only to sit back and watch in my own personal splendor at the joy of owning a house rabbit, then realizeas pantoulfe wakes to drink some water, i am even more lucky to own 2.


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## SOOOSKA (Feb 14, 2008)

Winnie has to be one of the Prettiest Bunnies out there. :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

Michigan is not that far away, note to self Bunnynap ASAP.

Susan


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## katt (Feb 23, 2008)

how about some pantoulfe cuteness???











the hassels and hardships of being a housebunny











this photo says it all, my quirky little boy!











"look at the land, and to think it is all mine!"






"oh, hi, didn't see you there, i mean the land is all OURS! yeah, that's right, ours"

best of the night:






"you've got to be joking me lady, you want another kiss?"






"well, okay, i suppose i can handle a cuddle. . ."

my cuddly little boy. pantoulfe newest crazy: to dead bunny flop right on me, then begin a series of loud bunny teeth purrs, he is also in love with the computer, no joke. how do i find these rabbits? herman was in love with the toilet, and pantoulfe loves the computer. . . i guess i have taken a step up??? at least the computer isn't a breeding ground of nastiness. i open my computer and he zooms straight to it and likes to watch the screen as i surf the internet. . . right this moment i am laying on the couch and he is laying across my chest (in a semi-DBF) purring away and watching me type.

i honestly think that he is helping to heal my broken heart from herman. i look at him and his playfull quirky ways and i just swell with joy, i haven't really felt that way since herman's death.

once this guy is free range, and bonded with winnie, i can tell he is going to fight winnie for her spot on the bed. he is all about the cuddles. . . i love it!


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## tundrakatiebean (Feb 23, 2008)

:weee:yay! Pantoulfe! He's too cute


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## XxMontanaxX (Feb 23, 2008)

Pantoulfe...another bunnyI love and can't have.  But I'm glad you found him, so I can at least see pictures. And I'm glad he makes you happy. 

He really does have such a cute face. And Winnie is still as pretty as ever. You have two great buns. 

Make sure you update this blog a whole whole lot!


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## Kamaor (Feb 23, 2008)

:runningrabbit:Katt I'm going to have to get in to see that little cutie he reminds me of Mocha. And from your place I think we need to go down to GR and get a cute little Lionhead from Hailey! You know how bad I want one LOL:sofa:

Gin and Gi are settling in pretty good here, they are starting to wonder around more but still aren't as snoopy as mocha was. They really want to venture across the living room but chicken out and go all the way around along the walls to scoot over to the buffet and patio door. It's like watching the guinea pigs wonder because they travel one behind the other I can pet them now when they are in their condo and they come to the door when I open it but still haven't settled in to cuddle much :tears2: I'm probably going to screw it all up when we load up to go downstate for a week. Meg is on spring break and wants to meet up Grandmas for a few days.


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## katt (Feb 27, 2008)

a day with house rabbits

Often times when I tell people that I have house rabbits, they look at me like I am a total nut job. What many of them donât realize (until meeting Winnie or Pantoufle) is that rabbits are much more of a companion that anyone could have thought.

Let me start by going though a typical day with my rabbits. First Winnie is a free-range girl; no cage to keep her locked away, Pantoufle is yet to reach that level of freedom as he is still young, unfixed, and full of chews, and Mammit (my newest foster boy) is yet to gain freedom as we are still working on trust.

I normally wake up around 9 am, depending on what time I have to be at work. I awake to my alarm in my ear, and Winnie stretching at my side, she also avoiding waking up and moving on with our day. Yes, my rabbit sleeps in my bed with me, often time we power struggle for room, or the best pillow, even fight over who gets the extra foot of blanket to cuddle up into. The sad truth is that Winnie often wins; I have found my match in the 7-pound princess that runs my life.

But back on track, our day, right? So finally I get up, Winnie trailing behind me. I stubble to the bathroom while Winnie makes fast time to her litter box and we both relieve ourselves.

Breakfast is one of our special times together. While my water is heating up for my morning tea, Winnieâs food and water bowl are getting cleaned and refilled. I also say good morning to Pantoufle, and Mammit, proceeding to wash and refill their bowls as well.

Sitting down with my normal breakfast of tea, oatmeal, and fresh fruit, I am joined next to me by Winnie, eyeing hopefully at whatever seasonal fruit I have cut up for my breakfast today. My morning routine is to enjoy my food with my rabbit, slipping her a slice or 2 of apple, maybe a section of orange, a coin of banana, a chunk of fresh melon, a sliver of pineapple. During this time we get lots of cuddles and bunny-whispers. We gossip about people we know, share secrets and current loves, and plan our day out together. She trails behind me as I clean up my breakfast mess, and fallows me ever so lovingly into the bathroom. While I shower she lays on our scale, when I do my hair and make-up she gives herself a bath.

Before I leave the house I create a commotion of bunny 500âs and binkis galore by giving everyone their daily hay. The best for my bunnies each one has their own recipe for how much of what type of hay they all get (1/2 timothy, Â¼ Meadow grass, and Â¼ alfalfa for Winnie; Â½ alfalfa, Â¼ timothy, and Â¼ Meadow grass for Pantoufle; Â½ timothy, 1/3 meadow grass, and a âpinchâ of alfalfa for Mammit). I say goodbye to my babies.

During the day I can only imagine what the rabbits do while I am gone, if my roommate is home, they fallow her around, soaking up all the attention they can manage by my bunny-loving convert of a roommate I have created!

Upon returning home later that night after work, and am greeted almost instantly by Winnie, and can hear Pantoufle jump around his cage. Winnie is given a treat of Â½ a water cracker, an apple chip, yogurt drop, or some other naughty-but-okay-in-small-portions treat and I make up nightly salads for the buns (a couple leaves of whatever for pantoufle, 2 cups of greens for Winnie, and 1 cup for Mammit).

Later on the night, after veggies have been consumed, Winnie is tucked away in my bedroom with the door closed so the 2 boys can get some run around time. Mammit getting about 2 hours and pantoufle getting 1 hour with lots of trips back to the cage so he can relieve his young bladder.

Bedtime for us is normally the same thing every night. I recheck the buns water bottles and bowls, say goodnight to each of them, and head to bed, muttering ânighttime Winnieâ to my girl as I walk towards my bedroom. She fallows, every night, ready to tuck herself into my room. I lay down with a book for a little while and Winnie runs around the bedroom, making visits to me in my bed, chinning my shoes, nibbling on the corner of my book, digging at her blanket that is kept in a pile behind a chair tucked in the corner by my bed. Once the lights are turned off, right before I slip into sleep she jumps on my bed, carefully walks up to my face, gives it a sniff or 2, I mutter âthereâs my girlâ and she settles down into a lay by my side, we both drift off to sleep together.

The funny thing about my rabbits is that they give me the exact same, if not more, companionship as I got from my cat and golden retriever who love at my parents house.

So yeah, I have a house rabbit, and I support rabbit education and rescues, my rabbits are my best friends.


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## Bo B Bunny (Feb 27, 2008)

That baby is adorable! He seems so snuggly!


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## LuvaBun (Feb 27, 2008)

Oh, I just love your story. To me, it just sums up what rabbits are all about - providing love, companionship, humour etc, and being able to share our day with them. Great stuff!!



Jan


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## XxMontanaxX (Feb 27, 2008)

I love love love what you wrote Katt. I can picture it all in my head too. And you know what? It makes me want Winnie even more. Haha, she sounds like such a sweetheart.

I can't wait until I move out and can have house rabbits. And we'll be as happy as you sound. 

And I love how she sleeps with you. That's the cutest thing ever.


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## katt (Mar 31, 2008)

how about some pantoufle cuteness!!!!
















pantoufle getting some cuddles while katie RO's






katie on easter (with my bunny ears!)







no photos of winnie today, she really hates the camera (and i hate photographing a black bunny!) but how bout a story?

so last night i am dead tired, so i crash in bed, i feel winnie jump on the bed, crawl over me, and settle in. but she decided that sleep wasn't in the game plan. so i feel her creep closer to my hand and start licking me. mumble-mumble give her a few pets and fall back asleep. she then begins to persistantly nudge my hand whenever i stop petting her. finally i just fall asleep and ignore her. shuffle shuffle, next thing i know she is right next to my face and begins to nudge my cheek, i attempt to push her away when she begins to shower my face with kisses thinking that i am waking up to give her attention.

she got so annoying that i finally woke up, gave her about 15 minutes worth of cuddles then plopped back to sleep completely UNDER my covers, just so i could sleep without getting kissed and nudged to death!

my little cuddle-bug, gotta love her!


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## Bo B Bunny (Apr 2, 2008)

Awww look at Pantoulfe! He's so cute!

Good luck to the babies for their speuters!


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## LuvaBun (Apr 7, 2008)

Such total cuteness in two bundles . 

I love how Winnie shares your bed - and demands your attention . Such a special little girl.

Jan


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## cheryl (Apr 7, 2008)

Pantoulfe is just irresistibily GORGEOUS!!....i love his cute little face....how adorable!

I also loved your story about Winnie..what a special little girl you have



Cheryl


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## katt (Apr 14, 2008)

winnie + pumpkin = good times












tongue shots!
















she found the can!!! i swear i only looked away for like 5 seconds, and i come back to this!


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## SOOOSKA (Apr 15, 2008)

Katt, those pictures are so cute. Winnie is a real doll. 

Did she have pumpkin all over her face when she decided to take her head out of the can? 

Susan


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## juliew19673 (Apr 15, 2008)

THAT is the cutest bun I think I've ever seen!!! Seriously, how do you ever leave them?! So small and cute I just want to kiss it forever..


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## juliew19673 (Apr 15, 2008)

You truly brought tears to my eyes reading the post of "breeding and why did I do it and if I did the right thing". You even thinking about it and knowing when you "crossed" a certaiin point tells me that you are the responsible breeder/owner and that specific string should be put out as a "Declaration" to all other breeders to sign. 

Good for you for being honest in your thoughts and endeavors. Really heart warming and insightful, hopefully others that are in the breeding game, will read that and give them pause. Keep your Blog coming and I'll keep reading.


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## LuvaBun (Apr 15, 2008)

LOL! Little devil, Winnie. I bet she took some cleaning up after that . She is such a sweetheart.

jan


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## katt (Apr 15, 2008)

"tell me it will be okay" and she nudges me in the cold darkness.

my rabbit, is my therapy, she is my center and my reason for being.

many people on this board, like myself, suffer from some form of a mental illness. from eating disorders to mood disorders and everything inbetween.

i myself have felt myself falling these days. i am hardly able to make it thru a days worth of work. at the end of my 8 hour shifts i have to congradulate myself for doing so well, then feeling all worked up from a days worthof stored up anxiety and personal issues, i go home and medicate, as so far that seems to be the only answer to my problems that work.

winnie knowing that something is wrong is by my side, day and night. she cuddles in close in the late night hours when i am either so drugged up i cannot function and pass out; or is there on those bitter nights were sleep will not come and i lay there crying. silent tears streaming down my face she nudges my side, scoots up to my face and licks away my tears. during the daytime, when i am not working or sleeping (which lately has been almost always) she is there to brighten my mood "hey mom, look at this" and binkies around the room. or does innocent acts of trouble that bring a smile to my face instead of a stern frown.

to this i thank her. how often i forget to thank her. today i feel like i have been taking to much, and giving so little. i woke up today and showered her with love and pets. she got all her favorite greens today and even a whole water cracker (which she snatched from my hand and took off running with such joy that my heart was filled to the brim).

but i realized something amazing. i have been feeling like i take to much from our relationship. but winnie doesn't see this. it is what makes me love her so deeply. she constantly gives, without even knowing it. she doesn't care that i am a mental mess. that my life is currently turned upsidedown. that i am taking drugs that make me a zombie. she doesn't care. to her i am simply herkatie. i wish i could have her unwavering love, her stead charature.

so even though it matter nothing to her for the extra praise, i thank her


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## katt (May 17, 2008)

a long awaited update.

when you stumble and fall the only thing to do is to get back up. this rule can be applied to anything you may face. it has the same meaning as "if you fall off a horse, get up, and get back on".

i remind myself daily of these things. that sometimes in life we stumble, and fall, and it hurts both our pride and our being. getting up is the only option that makes sense, because staying down will never be the answer.

many of you know that i myself suffer from mental problems. recently i was placed on a medical leave for 4 weeks in hopes of being able to return to my job feeling better. at 20 years of age (almost 21) i was daily (multiple times a day) taking enough medications that would cause most people to zombie out, fall alseep, and keep them from driving heavy machinery. i was sleeping at least 14 hours a day, and not making it thru my normal 40 hour week (i would go home at LEAST 1 day a week sick, or end up in the emergency room).

i am in my 2nd week off, and am proud at how much better i feel. i am down to 1 medication (instead of the 4 i was one) and am spending much time learning to work thru the panic attacks and depression instead of medicating to cover them up.

i can't say that winnie has been to upset with having me home full time these past 2 weeks. i can't seem to go anywere without turning around to find her only a step behind me. pantoufle also seems to be enjoying the extra katie time. last night he showed me his love by jumping on the sofa, climbing into my lap, dead bunny flopping right on me, and began a series of loud teeth purrs, he decided to stay like that for the entire movie.

i do happen to have 2 photos to share tonight. my camera is full, i just haven't had time to download any of them, but alas! here is my winnie girl:






and to show you what my entire carpet looks like, thanks to all 3 of the buns shedding at the same time, here is winnie dead bunny flopped in her own thrown of bunny hair


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## Alexah (May 17, 2008)

Katt, I'm ashamed to say that I never really looked and read through your blog...until today. And I'm infinitely grateful that I took the time to do so. Thank you for being so open, honest, and willing - you've helped me tremendously.

First off, let me begin by telling you how absolutely adorable Winnie and Pantoulfe are. And I know Mammit's (I can't remember his new name, but know it starts with a "T") adorable as well. You have too much cuteness for one house...how's about sending one of those loppy-cuties over to my house? Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but you can't blame a girl for trying.

Thank you so much for everything that you've shared. I'm one person on this site who suffers from mental illness in some form (eating disorder, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD) and it's a point of contention for me as I'm constantly feeling "less than" due to my illness. But we're not really less than or better than anyone else. And I appreciate you sharing your struggles because they've helped me remember that I'm not alone. Together we can all get through the bleak days and then laugh about the good days...

And rabbits are incredibly special. I adore my dogs and my Madeline is my baby (she's a toy fox terrier) and my best friend. But my rabbits are just as important to me. They give me reason to keep going sometimes and they're always there to cheer me up or sit with me while I'm down. Animals are the more unconditionally loving and forgiving creatures and I'm blessed to have them in my life as I'm sure you are to have them in yours.

Thanks again for posting everything you've shared. You and your bunnies are quite the inspiration.


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## pinksalamander (May 19, 2008)

Pantoulfe is my favourite forum bunny, i have to say!


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## katt (May 19, 2008)

*Alexah wrote: *


> Katt, I'm ashamed to say that I never really looked and read through your blog...until today. And I'm infinitely grateful that I took the time to do so. Thank you for being so open, honest, and willing - you've helped me tremendously.
> 
> First off, let me begin by telling you how absolutely adorable Winnie and Pantoulfe are. And I know Mammit's (I can't remember his new name, but know it starts with a "T") adorable as well. You have too much cuteness for one house...how's about sending one of those loppy-cuties over to my house? Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but you can't blame a girl for trying.
> 
> ...




alexah-

i am happy that in sharing some of my personal problems i have reached someone. it is never easy to suffer the way many do. i have learned that talking about my problems is part of the solution for getting my life back on track. the rabbits have been a huge part of that as well. there are times when i am so low, so down that i do nothing more then lay in bed, and having winnie jump on the bed and creep up like "is everything okay mom?" and nuzzle close is honestly what gets me thru some days.

i have learned that on those bad days i have to do at least one constructive thing to get me going, and normally it has been getting up and feeding and watering the buns.

they are my center.

i am glade you enjoy them, and if you EVER need to talk, i am just a PM away!


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## LuvaBun (May 22, 2008)

Just to say I admire your strength, and I think Winnie is the perfect 'healer' 

jan


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## katt (May 23, 2008)

it has been far to long since i posted any photos!

first let me show you naughty winnie's latest 











that would be corn meal. . . i grabbed something out of the cupboard late the other night, and forgot to close it when i went to bed, in the morning, this was what we woke up to :foreheadsmack:i couldn't get a good photo of it, but back in the pile of it, is actually her big bunny butt impression. . . i couldn't help but laugh. . .

okay, on to my pantoufle boy. . . i have a really cute video of him, but my connection is sooo slow right now, i will have to wait till i am out at my parents house to upload it. . . but i do have photos!!!!

"you do this to me EVERY time. . . enough already!"





















just to show how small my boy is, here he is next to a frebeze bottle






and some cute close ups with heavy background light
















well, there you have it! winnie photos later! as it takes so long to upload photos right now!


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## katt (May 24, 2008)

pantoufle video!!!!


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## MsBinky (May 24, 2008)

LMAO @ Winnie and her corn meal escapades I admit, I can't get mad at them either when they do bad things. Lol. Pantoufle is just too adorable I love the close ups.


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## juliew19673 (May 24, 2008)

Loved - loved - loved the video! So cute - looks like a little puppy-bun!! And that was hysterical that you found winnies butt impression in the cornmeal!!!!

One christmas years back I came home from work to find my cats had found their christmas present early (a big container of some really great catnip) between the 3 I had at the time they managed to get the container open and had it spread all over the kitchen floor with 3 kitties happily dozing in their mess!! 

Its always so funny when you find this type of destruction - its hard to reprimand the critters!

Cute blog katt! Always love to come back to it - so keep it up!


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## LuvaBun (May 24, 2008)

Lol! Trust Winnie to create a mess . Was she covered in the cornstarch?

Cute Pantoulfe video - he is actually smaller than I thought he was!

Jan


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## Spring (May 25, 2008)

Oh my goodness, Winnie! LOL! That silly girl, must have been proud of herself!

Pantoulfe reminds me so much of Bruno hehe, he does the same thing with belly rubs! What a sweetie.


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## SnowyShiloh (Jun 30, 2008)

Katt, the cornmeal thing is hilarious! Winnie sure is an expert mess maker. Rory got into a bag of corn tortillas once, but at least that was easy to clean up! And Pantoulfe is so, so sweet... He's little just like my Tallulah. He just about breaks my heart because he's that cute. What's his personality like these days? And do you have any new pictures of Toulouse?


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## katt (Jun 30, 2008)

athanks! winnie does know how to make a mess she has gotten into all kinds of things, bags of hay, powder suger, and cornmeal (along with many others).

patoufle is a cutie, and his personality is exactly as he looks, a complete teddy bear. he is all snuggly and just a ball of fluff.

i will have photos soon of all 3 bunnies, my camera is currently broken, so i am going to have to break down and get it fixed, or buy a new one.

the one good thing about living at my parents house is they have a huge back yard, the buns love to jump in the grass and binki around, i must get photos. they are simply loving it out here on nice days (that aren't too hot) they all have outdoor hutches (that i used when i bred) that they go out and spend the day in. they all love it, pantoufle binkies like crazy when outside, and winnie sprawls out in the bed of hay they all have in the hutch and dead bunny flops and toulouse runs around playing with a few tinkle toys i gave him for outdoor time. and they like the indoor days and the nights (the buns NEVER spend the night outside, just a few hours on good days). i thought they would have problems adjusting to the change, but they all are doing just great and are happy as can be.

anyway, when my camera is fixed, photos will be on there way!


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## Bo B Bunny (Jul 1, 2008)

I can just SEE Winnie digging and playing in that corn meal! :laughsmiley:She probably thought you'd intentionally left that open for her to play in!


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## katt (Aug 9, 2008)

well, i have been missing most of the summer. can safely say that once summer hits for me, i am busy all the way thru. buns are for the most part good. winnie has developed a lump on her lip that i have to wait till next week to get her in (the vet had no openings). we are hoping that it is nothing major. the thought of winnie having a serious problem scares me, so i am trying not to think of it.

i still have no camera, as mine is broken. so no photos to update ya'll with. i hope that by next month i will have the money to either get mine fixed, or if need be buy another camera.

but i thought i would drop a line. i am good, the buns are good. they love being taken out into the grass and let run around. i love living 2 minutes from lake michigan, and going swimming whenever i please.

anyway, there is an update. hopefully i can take photos again, soon.


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## Pipp (Aug 9, 2008)

Yay Katt!! inkbouce:

You've been missed! :hugsquish:

Here's hopingWinnie's lump is nothing to be concerned about. I think most lip ones seem to work out that way, even abscesses seem easy enough to treat when they're on the lip. I just took one of Bunny George's rabbits in for a lip abscessand one shot of some type of penicillin -- Pen G or bicillin -- was all it took.  

Hugs and nose pats all around! Don't be such a stranger! 



sas :wiggle


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## LuvaBun (Aug 10, 2008)

Wondered where you were hiding 

Hope Winnie lip is nothing serious - I love that girl!

Hurry back (with pics )

Jan


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## katt (Nov 25, 2008)

well, how long has it been? months, and months. so much has changed, so much is still the same.

i wish i had photos to post, i don't. my camera was broken for a very long time, and now, i just never seem to have the time. life is busy, busy, busy!

i guess i will start with the sad news. my little pantoufle boy passed away a little while ago. i kept on putting off comming on here, posting it. i wasn't there for his death. my family was watching the bunnies for 3 days while i went camping in the UP with some friends. pantoufle was always rather lathargic looking (he was always very lazy loppy, "why move when i can sit here, better yet, why sit here when i can lay down" kinda bunny) so when he got sick my parents didn't realize it in time, he went into stastis and didn't make it thru the weekend, he was gone by the time i got home.

it seems to be my pattern, at times i wonder if animals simply find me in time to die. that sounds uber depressing, but that was the first thing i thought when i found out about his death.

anyway, we are recovered. it has had time to heal.

so we are down to just the 2 rabbits, winnie and toulouse. we are happily set with just the 2 of them. winnie is still free range, mostly just in my room. we had a rather large scare with her the other day when she consumed a new plant that i thought i had put out of reach (it is a LONG story, i am going to post in a better section after this post) anyway, she is fine. toulouse is a funny little boy. one word: shoes! he LOVES shoes, high heels to be exact. he has one high heel he really adores, he cleans it, sleep curled around it, and will pull it over to his food dish so it can "share" his food with it. it is so funny to watch.

anyway, i just wanted to stop in, say hey, and let everyone know that i miss ya'll and hope that in the next few upcomming weeks, i will have more time for playing online!


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## LuvaBun (Nov 25, 2008)

Oh No! i am so sorry about Pantoulfe. He was a real favourite on the forum . He was such a cute little guy.

Glad that Winnie is doing OK - I love her. And Toulouse sounds like a real character, loving his shoes 

Glad to see you back here - hope you're here to stay for a while.

Jan


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