# RIP New Hope



## TinysMom (Jul 10, 2008)

I originally posted this in the infirmary just minutes ago.....now I'm retitling it and moving it...

New Hope hasn't been doing as well for a week or so....and last night when I went for my sleep study - I knew that he was definitely not well. Robin slept with him in her arms most of the night and I came home to find him extremely listless and lethargic. Sub-q fluids aren't doing the trick.

He's going to pass today....I can feel it and sense it. And when I looked in his eyes today - I could see that he wants to pass - he doesn't want to fight anymore. So I'm going to go nap with him until he goes....he's so weak that it won't be a long struggle...

I need prayers and thoughts for me - this is breaking my heart right now. Part of me wants to fight to save him - but I've seen him become less affectionate and have less appetite and zeal for life the last few days.....and I know he wants to cross the bridge.

As crazy as it sounds - please pray that he passes quickly and easily and that it is a smooth crossing for him. I've seen really bad deaths and some that were really peaceful....well...somewhat peaceful. 

If I'm not online for a few days (other than to announce his crossing) - please understand. 

I really had thought he had another month or so and that he'd rally again - but this time - his poor little body is just too tired. Even worse...so his is spirit...

New Hope passed away about 10 minutes ago. I will have to write more later - when I can see through the tears. For those who don't know - he literally lived on my bed and spent many nights sleeping in my arms....Art has agreed to bury him in Tiny's hole.

His passing was hard to watch - but it was ok. I constantly rubbed his cheek and told him that it was actually a new birth - that his spirit would no longer be contained in his old, weak body. I told him to "go with the black bunny".

I did take pictures of him after he passed - in his towel....and I did pretty good till I picked him up off the bed and cuddled him in my arms before putting him in his box he slept in....and then I held him and held him and didn't want to let him go. I'm still pretty upset - yesterday I was gonna watch some more West Wing with him - we called it our "booby snuggles" time because I'd hold him up on my chest and pet him and rub his ears and stuff and he just loved it. But I didn't get to do that and I was like, "I will watch West Wing with him tomorrow..." and now I can't. As I told him with his last breath - West Wing will never ever be the same without him.....

I better close this - I'm crying too hard and rambling too much and New Hope deserves so much more.


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## Luvmyzoocrew (Jul 10, 2008)

oh poor baby , i hope it is quick for him to go to the rainbow bridge


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## Jenk (Jul 10, 2008)

Oh, sweetheart...I'm _very_ sorry to learn this news. But it seems that you're definitely in touch with New Hope and respectful of his wishes. I can't think of a more touching way to express your love for a dear bun: allowing him guilt-free permission to escape physical suffering. 

I'm thinking good thoughts about and saying prayers for the both of you--especially for an easy passing for New Hope. ray:


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## TinysMom (Jul 10, 2008)

This is probably the first of several messages about New Hope - the thoughts that I'm wrestling with and just have to get down now. I'm sure more is going to come later - I think I'm still stunned.

New Hope was born in.....I think Sept. or Oct of 2006 - I would have to go and look it up. At that point - I was fairly discouraged with my breeding program and Art & I were talking about getting out of breeding lionheads because I was having a hard time getting the smaller ears/heads and the beautiful manes.

Then one day I noticed this bunny in the litter (I was weaning them at the time) - and about a week later - after he got a cage of his own....Art was walking by and noticed him and went, "Where did you get this show rabbit?" He was stunned - as was I really.

We decided to continue breeding a bit longer if I could "produce rabbits like that" - and because we now had hope about our breeding program - he was named "New Hope". That's right - he gave us a new hope...

Here is how he looked then:






















And here is the ad:







When he was about 4 or 5 months old - I realized he had maloclussion. We weren't sure if it was genetic (it later looked like it was) or if he had been pulling on the bars of his cage and done something (I had seen him chewing on his cage bars and pulling on the door). 

This meant he would live out the rest of his life here....as one of our pets....getting his teeth trimmed on a regular basis.

And so he did.....and he was such a cutie. He hated his "dentist visits" with dad...but he was such a sweetie otherwise.

Then last year he came down with head tilt - and a number of things happened during that time. He'd get better....then worse...then better...then worse.

At one point he lived in a big pen type thing with four other intact bucks who were also all ill. I was able to keep them in my office and give them attention when needed - and this was part of what drew Tiny and I closer 'cause I'd sit on the floor to give the boys banana baby food w/ pumpkin....and Tiny had to have some also. This was part of why he started crawling in my lap and crawling all over me....

I remember looking at New Hope in November and telling Robin, "He won't make it till Thanksgiving" and indeed he almost didn't. But I slept with him in my arms a few nights and I spent a lot of time with him (to Tiny's dismay) and he pulled through. Then it was "He won't make it till Christmas". Then it became, "Come on New Hope...you can make it through till New Year's"....which then became..."Its Valentine's" and "It's Easter" and "It's Mother's Day" and "Come on New Hope...you can make it till Father's Day". 

When I went home to visit my mom in May - I told Zin that I wasn't too worried about New Hope because the only way he'd pass away was if my family strangled him. (I'd spoiled him totally rotten).

On the 4th of July...I held him close and said, "Woo hoo....you made it this far - I'm gonna stop counting holidays..."

I shouldn't have said that. But somehow - I think I knew the end was coming sooner than I wanted - sooner than it should come. When I came home from my mom's - I'd noticed changes in him...things I hadn't seen before because I was so darn close to him all the time.

I have a few regrets....me....the "take a picture/take a video" lady.

I didn't take enough pictures - but I didn't take pictures because he was so ill often. However, his fur had come back in and it was soooo soft and he was so proud of it and he groomed himself so much over the last few weeks.

I do have some pictures and photos and may try to share them later...I need to get them together.

Secondly - I regret that yesterday when I wanted to sit and hold him and watch tv - I didn't do so. I told him, 'Mama will hold you tomorrow..".

We had this term of "Booby snuggles" (I hope its ok to put that here) - and I'd hold him close to my chest and just pet him and love on him. I'd tell him it was time for snuggles and he'd get all happy and excited. He knew that during that time he would be held close to me and get his ears rubbed and I knew how he liked me to rub his head, etc. He loved it- and so did I. Sometimes I'd sit there snuggling him and we'd have "story time" and I'd tell him stories from the tv or about different rabbits.

When Tiny passed away - two things got me through - well - three really.

One was a friend who called me at all the worst times. Whenever I wanted to give up....the phone would ring and it would be this person. 

Another thing was the forum. There were times I needed to be here - needed to know how much Tiny was loved. 

But New Hope pulled me through. I could hold him and cry into his fur and the more I held him - the happier he was. He needed care - he needed ME....and so I had to focus on him.

So much more to be said....but I feel spent. I just can't share any more right now. Perhaps later today I can come in here and share about his care....because I need to get it down somewhere...

New Hope - I miss you so much. When I held you right after you passed - I didn't want to put you down ..... I wanted you back in my arms. I know you were ill and it was hard on your body - but your illness is what caused us to share our lives so closely...to become so intertwined. Now that you have a "healed" body - binky free my friend. 

I will see you again. I know I will.


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## Haley (Jul 10, 2008)

Im so sorry, Peg. He was such a beautiful boy.:bigtears:

Im sure he knew how loved he was. 

Rest in peace little one. :bunnyangel:


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## NZminilops (Jul 10, 2008)

Oh boy, he was cute . I bet you're missing him terribly, RIP little fella.


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## SOOOSKA (Jul 10, 2008)

I'm so sorry Peg.

Binky Free at the Rainbow Bridge New Hope.:rainbow:

Susan:bunnyangel2:


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## mouse_chalk (Jul 10, 2008)

Oh no, I felt so sad to see this thread...

I'm so sorry about New Hope... I know how much and how well you looked after, loved and cared for him....

Binky free little guy, now that your illness affects you no longer....

I'm thinking of you, Peg

:rainbow:ink iris::rainbow:

Jen xxx


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## Luvmyzoocrew (Jul 10, 2008)

oh gosh i am so sorry, he was beautiful.


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## tonyshuman (Jul 10, 2008)

I'm so sorry. You form such close bonds with your rabbits, which makes you enjoy their company so much, but it makes it hurt so much more when they go. New Hope was very handsome and unique in his personality. Please know you gave him the very best in life, and he had what every rabbit wants--to be treated with love and care all of their life. RIP sweet little New Hope. :rainbow:


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## FallingStar (Jul 10, 2008)

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. He was such a cute little guy. I love all of the pictures of him. :cry4:

Binky Free LittleOne. ink iris::rainbow:


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## GoinBackToCali (Jul 10, 2008)

There are no appropriate words..

You know my number..

Binky free beautiful boy...



Z


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## seniorcats (Jul 10, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss Peg. My heart aches for you.


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## BlueCamasRabbitry (Jul 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry Peg. He was an adorable boy. So cute and his eyes had that perfect sparkle. 

:rip:New Hope 

Binky free at Rainbow Bridge :rainbow:

ink iris:Emily:hearts


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## AngelnSnuffy (Jul 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry, Peg. Take the time you need, you know we understand:hug:.

RIP New Hope:rainbow:


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## polly (Jul 11, 2008)

I am so sorry Peg 

Binky free New Hope, you had a great strength of will and character:rose:


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## slavetoabunny (Jul 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry Peg. It's so hard to lose any of our little ones. RIP New Hope.:rainbow:


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## ellissian (Jul 11, 2008)

Oh i'm so sorry peg  I know what you mean about him giving you something to focus on after you lost Tiny. My Hope has done the same since losing Milly. Binky free New Hope


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## LuvaBun (Jul 11, 2008)

Oh Peg, i am so very sorry. I know he was such a special boy, and goodness, wasn't he a little fighter, coming back time after time.

I am thinking of you

Jan


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## TinysMom (Jul 11, 2008)

I found this video and have to share it. I sat and cried and cried and cried as I watched it...

At one point last year - I had five guys all living together. Is this normally recommended? Of course not - but they all had health issues and I felt like they needed each other (they did). They did SOOOO well and this is part of what bonded Tiny and I together - because I would sit on the floor to give my guys baby food and pumpkin and Tiny would start crawling all over me to get to it also. Eventually - he just crawled all over me cause he loved the attention he got from me - baby food or not. So in a way - New Hope helped Tiny and I to bond as much as he helped me to heal from Tiny's passing in February.





An update on the guys in the video...

Brudder - was the first to pass away - I don't believe I shared about him on the forum because I never really talked to him

Cassanova passed away a couple of months ago (after Zeus came here). That was heartbreaking - but it was at a time when I had issues with my feed and I think it affected him first. He had become pretty darn healthy and was back in a pen by himself.....which he LOVED.

Of course New Hope just passed away...

Hefty has put on weight and is about to move into a pen in the bedroom (I think - unless I wind up putting Miss Bea in there) - and Hepburn (who is Theresa's brother for those who remember her) - is in the bedroom next to what might be Hefty's pen. Both Hefty and Hepburn have recovered and live healthy lives now....

I miss New Hope like I can't explain to y'all. I love Pipp's comments on Dill - about how she's bonded to Pipp like a little married couple - but Dill was her torrid affair. It was that way with New Hope and I. Tiny was my partner - but New Hope was my "guy on the side". I slept with him in my arms many many times .... for naps and all night long. 

He slept on my bed the last few months of his life - and one of my first actions in the morning was to get our morning banana and share it with him - along with his handful of cheerios. In fact, Art nicknamed him "Cheerio".

I hope y'all enjoy the video - I hope to add more pictures later...

By the way - before I left for my sleep study test on Wednesday night - I told New Hope if he passed away while I was gone - I'd never speak to him again. Robin was like, "not even if I come back from RB for a visit like Tiny does??" (pretending to be him) and I sternly said..."no. If you love me - you'll make it through the night..".

I thought we were pretending....I didn't think he'd go THAT soon. But he held on through the night and was in my arms for about an hour before he passed....

I think he wanted me to be here with him - and I'm glad I was...


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## JadeIcing (Jul 11, 2008)

RIP Little Man You Were Special.

Peg if you need to talk I am off this weekend. So I am here for you.


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## cheryl (Jul 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry Peg 

Rest in peace little one

Cheryl


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## JimD (Jul 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry I missed this.

Good thoughts and prayers sent your way.

....binky free little one
ray::rainbow:


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## TinysMom (Jul 12, 2008)

Its my first night to sleep here at home since you've passed....and I find myself unable to go to bed.

You're not here for our nightly "bed of lettuce" joke as I settle you for the night with lettuce to keep you hydrated. I rattle the cheerio box - only to remember - my "Cheerio Guy" is gone. It was so hard this morning to split a banana - and remember you weren't here to have a piece.

Miss Bea isn't taking this well at all. She even let DAD reach out and pet her today - for several minutes. Can you believe it? She let me pet her too - but she did thump me off later...

I always saw myself as "Tiny's Mom".....but sometimes I forgot that I was your mom too. I mean....I thought nothing would be harder than losing Tiny - after all the hours we spent together in the office.

I forgot about how hard it would be to lose you.....how you wouldn't be here to take a nap with....how I wouldn't have you to share a morning banana with. So many times I'd walk out of the office to the kitchen to go check on you. You were the first bunny I looked at in the morning and the last one at night (and that was if you didn't sleep in my arms).

I sat and watched this video tonight about 5 times.....crying the whole time. I want you back so badly....I think of the times I resented you taking so long to eat or drink....maybe it wasn't often. But I'd do anything now to have you back again to take up my time. Your illness turned out to be a gift to me - a gift to us. 

I miss you so much....I can't even begin to express it. As angry as I was at Tiny for leaving - I think I'm angrier at you. You weren't supposed to leave yet....I'd just told you that we were beyond the point of counting holidays...that you'd pretty much made it through. In fact - your fur was so soft and awesome....and you'd put on weight.

For the last week or two - Robin kept remarking to me about how you didn't look so good. Why didn't I heed her and spend more time with you? It isn't as if I didn't spend time with you - I did. But I didn't spend enough time....but is there ever enough time?

Here are your pictures and video. I so wish I had more of you - maybe I do somewhere...

I love you New Hope. Binky free - as angry as I am at you - I'm so happy that you're free of your earthly sick body..


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## Pipp (Jul 12, 2008)

We always fall the hardest for the 'underbuns', especially those who are ailing. And the constant contact through the nursing process promotesan evenstronger bond -- the heart holds them close, even though the brain warns us to hold them at arms length. Those can bethe saddest of the losses.

My heart goes outto you. :hearts



sasink iris:


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## Jenk (Jul 12, 2008)

I am certain that New Hope understands and forgives your anger (fromhis spiritual,pain-freeperspective:rainbow. He knows that, with time, your anger will give way to smiles overthe fond memories made with him. :hug: 

Pain dies (thankfully); love goes on and on and... :hearts:


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## Wabbitdad12 (Jul 12, 2008)

I am so sorry Peg, he's a cute little guy.ink iris:


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## Pet_Bunny (Jul 16, 2008)




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## TinysMom (Jul 16, 2008)

Thank you so much for that picture Stan. I will probably have it printed on a mug or a picture to hang above my desk....


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## TinysMom (Jul 18, 2008)

This actually applied to three of my losses.....so I'm posting it in all three...thanks Zin for posting it...


So this is where we part, My Friend,

And you'll run on around the bend, Gone from sight but not from mind,

New pleasures there you'll surely find.

I will go on, I'll find the strength,

Life measures quality, not its length.

One long embrace before you leave,

Share one last look, before I grieve.

There are others, that much is true,

But they be they and they aren't you.

And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought

Will remember well all you've taught.

Your place I'll hold, you will be missed,

The fur I stroked, the nose I kissed.

And as you go to your final rest,

Take with you this -- I loved you best.


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## TinysMom (Jul 24, 2008)

Oh New Hope - I miss you so bad right now - I can't believe you're been gone two weeks already - it feels like forever. 

I don't know how many times I've grabbed a banana or lettuce to take into the bedroom and give you - only to remember once more - you've left. 

I watched a movie last night and held Hefty in my arms. He may become my tv/movie buddy for a bit - but it wasn't the same as you. Oh - he was ok - he sat there and let me pet him and he loved it. But it was YOU that I wanted - you were such a snuggler.

I think I'm missing you so bad right now 'cause I'm scared - I go to the doctor in a little over an hour and I may have fractured a bone in my arm and I'm so scared of what they're gonna do. If you were here - I'd hold you and talk to you and you'd snuggle with me and I'd be less scared 'cause I'd know you'd be here for me when I got home. 

You left me far too soon - but I guess at least I know you're not suffering anymore...I'm the one suffering.

I better close this - I need to cry some more and I can't see through the tears....


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## Jenk (Jul 24, 2008)

*TinysMom wrote: *


> I think I'm missing you so bad right now 'cause I'm scared - I go to the doctor in a little over an hour and I may have fractured a bone in my arm and I'm so scared of what they're gonna do. If you were here - I'd hold you and talk to you and you'd snuggle with me and I'd be less scared 'cause I'd know you'd be here for me when I got home.
> 
> You left me far too soon - but I guess at least I know you're not suffering anymore...I'm the one suffering.
> 
> I better close this - I need to cry some more and I can't see through the tears....


For what it's worth, I'd like to offer you my support regarding your doctor's visit. :hug2: I hope that it goes as well as can be expectedand that you receive whatever proper medical care you may require. 

And, of course, I also offer you support (more :hug2 regarding New Hope's passing. As you've said yourself, you are now the one suffering. But try to find at least some peace knowing that your little guy is doing the Binky 500 with a countless number of other loving bunnies. He is free of earthly limitations, and I, in a sense, celebrate that fact--while crying tears for you, your sense of loss....:tears2:


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## Becky_Muller (Jul 24, 2008)

Oh, Peg, your post brought tears to my eyes. RIP New Hope. You know he's in a much better place, already making another little bunny lover happy. I feel your pain...



*hugs*


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## TinysMom (Jul 24, 2008)

As an update - no fractures.....just a lot of soreness (and some good pain meds I guess - I have yet to take them).

But I'm still missing New Hope so bad it hurts. I should've asked the doctor if he could give me pain meds for a broken heart....


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## TinysMom (Aug 15, 2008)

Oh Cheerio - today was so hard for me. I was in the grocery store getting things and I was getting the oatmeal I mix into the food and thought, "I'm almost out of cheerios for the bunnies..." and I walked over to grab it - and reached out for the box - and burst into tears. I wasn't sobbing - but tears started running down my face. I couldn't even grab the box....all I could think of was dad calling you "Cheerio" and how I'd often hold you close and call you "Mama's cheerio" and stuff like that.

I couldn't do it....I just couldn't get the box right then. When another person entered the aisle, I turned and wiped my eyes ... and grabbed some fruit loops to bring home for treats. (Miss Bea will be ever so grateful).

You had me buying Cheerios all the time - and I still have your last box here - almost empty - but still here. 

I miss you - I'd buy you all the cheerios in the store if only you were here to eat them.

I love you my Cheerio boy. I miss you.

And its funny how the nickname dad gave you - still makes me cry...


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## MyLOVEABLES!! (Aug 22, 2008)

RIP NewHope.
Binky free lil one. Watch over your mom.

Im so sorry, you had me in tears while i was reading this thread i didnt know New Hope, or you very well but i can tell he loves you and you loved him so much. If he's watching over you i dnt think he wants to see his mommy sad but take all the time you need.

Love Prisca, Toula, and Lou

P.s you need a big hug =] :hug::hug::hug::hearts:


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