# My Pippin 5/04/07 - 7/05/11



## jcottonl02 (May 8, 2011)

As I posted yesterday, my gorgeous, beautiful, sweet Pippin passed away at around 4pm. He had been absolutely fine the last few weeks, maybe a slightly reduced appetite but nothing that would have made me worry. 2 days ago he had been running round his run, licking Benji on the nose and wholfing down the carrot peelings I brought out to him from my lunch.
Yesterday he also seemed fine. He was in his top box where he often is, snoozing or sleeping. I came out to feed him some strawberry tops at about 4pm and he was lying in the middle, looking just like he was sleeping. They often lie in the middle having a snooze, on one side, so I just said 'Pippin'. He didn't jerk up. And then I realised he was dead. I scooped him up in my arms, screaming. My Dad came rushing to me and took him and felt for a heartbeat. He was gone. I clutched Pippin to me for about an hour. Couldn't believe he was gone. My little baby. I was crying, my mum was crying, and my sister was crying. Maybe them partly for seeing my heart break.
My Dad went outside and cleaned the hutch, keeping aside some hay from his bed. He went and dug a grave in the flowerbed in our garden.
I've never cried so much or for so long. Every 10 minutes I just get tears running down my face. 
After about an hour I still didn't want to let Pippin go but I knew I had to. Took him outside. Said my last goodbyes and buried him. My Dad was so thoughtful and had kept some hay, and his two favourite toys to bury him with. And then my sister said 'wait' and took some of my hair and put that with him too. That was just so wonderful they could have done such lovely things for me. A part of me with Pippin forever.

He was totally healthy, I thought. His pooes and wees were perfectly normal. His body was still pristine white and clean. His teeth had always been perfect. The only thing I saw was a little mark on his bottom lip where maybe he had bitten his lip. I hope it was something quick. He was in his 'nap' position so I beg he laid down and just fell asleep. Please god don't let him have suffered.

The last thing you did was lick me. You kissed my fingers through the bars when I said goodnight to you.

I love you so much Pippin. You have enriched my life. I will never ever forget you. My heart is breaking. This is goodbye for now, but not for good. You were too young to go. 4 years, 1 month and 2 days. Too soon but I will never ever forget you and will love you forever.

When I got you as a baby you were irresistable.















You were SO tiny. And you grew so quickly.












It took you a while to trust me. You were so shy and nervous when you were young. BUt the first time you licked me and came for a cuddle you made my heart sing. It took a while to develop the trust, but when we did, it was so, so worth it.

By the time you were fully grown, we had such a special bond.







You were my gorgeous big squishy bunny







You used to sit on my lap for hours, licking my hands and my clothes until I would have big, wet slobber patches!!! But I loved it.















And you adored your wonderful shed my Dad built for you. You were the first one who could jump up to the top levels!!! And you and Benji would sit and lick eachother for hours.

















You enriched my life, Pippin. You were the kindest, most loving, wonderful bunny anyone could ever wish for. You were my baby, my family and I will miss you every day but never forget all the wonderful times and all the joy you gave me.

I love you forever.






The beautful flower on your grave that will be the only flower in bloom in our garden when it does. As beautiful as you. You were such a happy bunny. And I thank god I could give you such a happy, wonderful life.




Goodbye for now Pippin. I will always love you.


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## SOOOSKA (May 8, 2011)

Oh Jen I'm so sorry.

What a Beautiful Bunny Pippin was.

Binky Free at the Rainbow Bridge :rainbow:sweet Pippin.

Hugs:hug1

Susan:bunnyangel2:


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## Nancy McClelland (May 8, 2011)

We're so sorry you lost your beautiful little girl.


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## Nancy McClelland (May 8, 2011)

We're so sorry you lost your beautiful little boy. Bonnie was just a little over 3 when she passed. We were out and our son came over to feed our brood and thought she was just asleep too. Never had any indication of anything, it just happened. Goodbye little Pippin.


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## jcottonl02 (May 8, 2011)

Thankyou Sooska and Nancy. So sorry to hear of your Bonnie. Sounds like it might have been the same thing. Pippin could have easily just have been asleep in my arms.

I just can't believe he's gone. It feels like such a short time. I can still remember the day I got him and fell in love with him.

I am going to have a picture frame of my favourite picture of him done as soon as I can, and hang it in my room. The one we have of our dog, Bruno, is stunning, and hangs over our fireplace. I am hoping to get something similar to that. It needs to be special.

I stood by his flower this morning and me and Benji both said goodbye again.

Love you my Pippin

Jen


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## jcottonl02 (May 8, 2011)

I'm really tearing myself up about this.

He ate all his pellets and his veggies for his dinner the night before. 12 hours later he was gone. The last thing he did was run around his run for hours, and then lick my hands all over before I went to bed. I looked back to the hutch before I went inside and he was sitting there washing his face. 
His poops and wees were regular, well formed and as much as normal. He didn't seem to be in any discomfort or pain.
He was fully up to date with his vaccinations.
There was no sign on him at all that anything had happened...just a slight pinky mark on his lower lip like he bit it.

If anyone could shed some light on this...stop me beating myself up, I'd really appreciate it. Could it have been something preventable? It seemed SO quick with no signs. Could it have been a stroke or a heart attack? 

He just seemed so young for something like that. Only just gone 4 years old.

Thank you

Jen


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## plasticbunny (May 8, 2011)

What I have learned from my own losses is, if a bunny is suffering or in pain, they will show it. You can rest assured that Pippin did not feel pain, and did not suffer. The life that he did have with you was obviously very special. You may never know what ended his life, but you can be proud of yourself for giving him the best life possible.


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## JimD (May 8, 2011)

*I'm so sorry Jen ......*

*:hug2:


Binky free Pippin.
We'll see you on the other side.

Tiny will show you the way...
Buck will look after you....
...And there will be lots of bunnies to stay by your side.

*ray::rainbow:


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## Yield (May 8, 2011)

[align=center]I cried so hard reading this.. I am so sorry... I can only imagine the pain you feel.. :tears2:

Binky free, Pippin, as Jim said, there will be lot's of bunnies with you. 
I know a few who would look after you very well



ink iris:


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## SnowyShiloh (May 9, 2011)

I'm so sorry! It's incredibly hard to lose a bunny  RIP sweet Pippin.


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## hln917 (May 9, 2011)

I'm so sorry Jen. That is such a beautiful tribute to Pippin. Binky free little one.


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## Pet_Bunny (May 9, 2011)

I am so sorry Jen.

It must be this time of the year when favorite bunnies leave us. On Friday, my friends Cocoa pasted away. Cocoa was one of the first bunnies I encountered, and started me wanting to have a bunny for myself.

Then Pebbles my bunny which most people know pasted away at this time 1 year ago (May 12).

So now Pippin can finally meet Pebbles with her friend Cocoa at Rainbow Bridge.

Binky Free Pippin. ink iris:


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## Yurusumaji (May 9, 2011)

Oh my goodness. 

I am so sorry you lost your little baby.

Binky free, Pippin. :rainbow:


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## jcottonl02 (May 9, 2011)

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and kind words.

It's so hard to deal with; I still can't quite believe it. 

All my family and friends have been so wonderful. Even if some of them don't understand the amazing relationship you can have with a bunny (ie. would probably think 'it's just a bunny') they have still completely understood how I feel and have been there for me, to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, comfort etc.

I have slept with my sister the past few nights which has been really comforting. Every time I wake up crying I just feel her arm come around me and hug me until I sleep again. And I woke up the night of the 7th and had bitten my tongue for some reason in my sleep until it bled which was horrible.


But them being there for me has really helped me. My family, we all sat down and looked at pictures of Pippin together and talked about his life, and stories etc.

It's been a few days now, Pippin, but I still can't stop crying. But I am thinking of all the wonderful times we had together and the joy you gave me. You were such a happy bunny and I am so glad I was able to give you the best life. I'll remember you in your kisses, your binkies, leaping on me for cuddles and always running to me when you saw me, for cuddles. I love you so much

Jen


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## Must_Love_Pets (May 9, 2011)

I can't stop crying, so sad. I feel so bad for you. Pippin will be in your heart forever and mine now too. I wish you the best sweetie.

Binky Free Pippin :big kiss::big kiss:


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## NorthernAutumn (May 10, 2011)

I am so sorry Jen... 
I love the photos of the two of you together. 
He had a wonderful life with you :hug:


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## missyscove (May 11, 2011)

I'm so sorry Jen. Losing a bun is so hard. 
Without a necropsy, it would be hard to tell. It is true that buns often hide their illnesses until it is too late and it could also have easily been something with Pippin's heart.


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## LuvaBun (May 12, 2011)

I'm so sorry that you lost your little Pippin. You can tell by the photos how close you two were. 

I'm glad that your family are so supportive. How is Benji doing?

Jan


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## jcottonl02 (May 13, 2011)

Thanks again everyone. 
I thought the pain would be easing by now but if anything it is even worse. I am having even more trouble sleeping than I did the first few nights, which has given me a total of about 15 hours sleep in the past 4 or 5 days. I know the day before my Wednesday exam I had 3 hours sleep. I just keep thinking about him. Wondering if I could have changed it. Terrified that something will happen to Benji. If he had only lasted another year then he would have been permanently inside...would that have changed it? Will Benji be here until then?
When I think about it rationally, I know he was the happiest bunny he could be. But my only regret is not being able to have him inside permanently. He came inside...lots. They both did. But it's differnet to living permanently inside. Waking up to eachother and spending all day every day together. It's my parents house and I totally respect they don't want the fluff everwhere. I just assumed Pippin would live another few years when I know I will have my own place and can have him inside .

I just keep seeing Pippin in my arms, seemingly asleep, but it's so hard.

Thankfully my brain must be saying 'keep on track' because my exams haven't suffered. I haven't let them. 

I just can't believe I'm having to write here  . 

On a positive note, Benji's teeth seem to be getting better. My vet has tried a different tactic learned from an experienced rabbit dentist and she seems very positive about it.

Thanks for asking Luvabun. Benji seems to be doing just fine. He seems bright, very happy, enjoying all the attention and particularly enjoying the whole run to himself. I'm sure he will be even happier when he has the whole shed to himself as well. At least that's something...but just seeing the whole run not partitioned, or the shed with one empty side I just can't help but break down .

I am glad they never fully bonded, now, because I would hate for Benji to be extremely sad. I really think they enjoyed eachother's company. Pippin especially, I think, appreciated having Benji there. But I think Benji is just as happy either way.
I'm giving him as much attention as I can, just in case, and he seems to know how I feel, as he is just attacking me with kisses as I speak.

Please God just don't let me lose Benji too.

I'll be very glad when exams are over. My heart thumps all night long because I think of Pippin and what I could have done, and how good his life was and if ever I did anything that might have led to this, and just imagining him back with me, and it's so hard to sleep. It will be easier when I don't have to get up early every day and work till 10pm and still not be able to sleep.

I am having to really prevent myself from becoming obsessive, too. 'If I hold my arms out now, Pippin will appear in them'... 'If I make it to the lamppost in less than a minute I'll get Pippin back'. It's horrible. My mind really can be evil sometimes 

I've already chosen which picture I am going to frame.










I am going to cut it at the sides, and have it about 2 foot by 1 foot. I need to print it off first so in 2 weeks when I am back I will take it on disk to the printers where I live and that will cost about 50pounds. Then get it framed for about another 50. Hoping it will be less than that but I want it big and beautiful and stunning, just like he was, so I'll do anything to get that. 

The tears have reduced since that day....I now only cry about once a day....but for some reason the pain has increased. In my stomach. And my heart . Like guilt. Guilt that I couldn't protect him and guilt that I as his mother and his protecter couldn't have prevented it. Guilt of failing. And terror for Benji 

I hate living like this 

Jen


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## Tasha93x (May 14, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss Jen  He sounded like a truly wonderful bunny and it was clear to see he had a lovely life with you, RIP Pippin :rainbow:


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## jcottonl02 (May 15, 2011)

Thanks so much Tasha. He was honestly the kindest, sweetest most gentle rabbit anyone could wish for. And he really enriched my life.

I just wish he could have been with me longer. 

It's not fair. 

Jen


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