# So annoyed



## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 18, 2012)

Ok, so we have decided to name our son William Elijah and call him Liam for short. My mother in law flat out told me that she would not be calling him Liam, she would be calling him Eli. I have told her that is not his name. She just laughs it off. I said something the other day about Liam and her words were "His name is not Liam it's Eli". I am to the point that I just want to slap her. I dont understand why she thinks that she can pick my sons name. She isn't birthing him so who does she think she is?? How do I address this situation?? Ive reached my boiling point and I'm going to explode!


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## Nancy McClelland (Sep 18, 2012)

She's a jackass just like my mother-in-law. Don't get all up in a bind as it sounds like she's doing it to get to you. You could also give her a good jerk by telling her we decided his middle name will be Robert instead of Elijah--put the shoe right back on her foot or just ignore the braying fluffybunnybottom. I used the last three letters of the third word in this paragraph, but this program can't differentiate a proper term from profanity which has no place in this forum. Wonder if I can call a female dog a badword. Won't let me do that either--third edit by the way.


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## Anaira (Sep 18, 2012)

Good idea about pretending to change his middle name! Why not ask what her problem with Liam is? Or if she can at least call him William instead...Just tell her flat out, it isn't appropriate for her to interfere with what you two choose to call your son. If she persists, disinvite her from the shower. 

Or at least tell her that she can have her own pet name for him if he wishes, but that she cannot tamper with his real name, or nickname; i.e., no buying or making things with 'Eli' on them, or telling people that's her grandson's name.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

I just don't understand why she wants to mess with a pregnant woman. It takes me like 1 second to go crazy on someone right now. I have no filter for my mouth anymore since becoming pregnant. Things just come out of my mouth. Larry, I have a few choice words to say to her, but I also can't put them here lol. I think it's funny that jackass is allowed but not "female dog". Hmmm...weird haha


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## CosmosMomma (Sep 19, 2012)

You sound like me and I'm not even pregnant  

But honestly this situation is similar to what my mom went through when she was pregnant with me. My name is Megan Noelle, and I go by Megz or Elle/Ellie with really close family and friends. Well, when my mom announced my name and the spelling, my uncle went on about how it was spelled wrong and that it would be pronounced "me-gan" and not "meg-an" or "may-gan" because "meg-an" is spelled meghan and "may-gan" is spelled Magen. Lawd, momma was PISSED lol, but eventually she said "It's my child I'll call her what I wish, don't like it? too bad". Totally what you should say to the monster in law  

"You're not pushing him out, I am. You didn't carry him for 9 months, I did. ELI is not his name, nor his nickname, it is LIAM, and If you can't accept that then you can be on your merry way because he is my child not yours"  Don't be afraid to be cranky or rude.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

I guess the reason I dont want to confront the situation is because I dont speak, nor intend to speak to my father or mother. So I have no family. And i hate people being mad at me. But its to the point that I cant take it anymore. I really need to address this before I get so mad that I say things I shouldnt/dont want to. So the next time she says it to me, that will be when I take care of this. I guess the reason she thinks its okay is because she called my husband "Miah" because his middle name is Jeremiah. And that is something only she calls him. But that is her child. She can call him what she wants. Liam is not hers. Hes mine, and I get the say so of who calls him what.


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## whitelop (Sep 19, 2012)

My mom really wanted me to name my son Harrison. I don't like the name Harrison (no offense to anyone named Harrison)
I named him Anderson Jacob and we call him AJ. But she was dead set on Harrison, and told me she was still going to call him Harrison when he was born. It pissed me off. I told her that if she called him Harrison I would freak out because thats not his name, thats no where near what his name is! She never did call him that, because he looks like an Anderson/AJ. But sometimes they can be really pains in the butt! I think you just need to put your foot down, tell her if she can't call him by his given name and/or nickname you have picked out then she can't call him any name. She can refer to him as small boy! 
By the way, I LOVE the name you've picked out! Its very strong and great!


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

Thanks Morgan  I am just waiting for the next "Eli" to come out of her mouth and then I will address it. I'm putting my foot down. Better to get it done now than later before she gets to used to calling him that


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## Blue eyes (Sep 19, 2012)

And where is hubby in all this? He should be the one telling his mother to leave you alone and that you two have decided the name together. It is not her choice.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

He wants to confront her in person, and he has been working every weekend (which is when we normally go over there) so he hasnt had a chance to say anything to her. Otherwise, this wouldve ended when it started. I have kept him up to date with what is going on so when he can talk to her he knows everything, but I dont know how much more i can take before i explode


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## I_heart_Fraggles (Sep 19, 2012)

Wow....You and I are in the same boat when it comes to mother in laws...I love my in laws and like you I do not have any other family as a disowned my mother 3 years ago and I do not know my father. So my in laws are it.....and I do love them.
But my MIL thinks its the funniest game to drive me up a tree sometime to the point where my husband has had to correct her more then once and we have gone a week or more without speaking (my MIL and I)...But we always get over it and you need to just put her in her place also. She will get over it, she sounds a lot like Jason's mom. Jason's mom also said she would be in charge of all baby names with "HER GRANDCHILD'.....We fixed that real quick....No grandchildren for you miss attitude! :nasty:


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## gmas rabbit (Sep 19, 2012)

You should tell her if she really doesn't like his name, she may call him honey, sweetie or darling. If she insisted on calling him Eli, ask her to leave, hang up on her and return anything addressed to the wrong name. She will eventually get the idea. As for putting your foot down, I suggest put it up -- but that is not allowed on here either.


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## irishbunny (Sep 19, 2012)

That would drive me up the wall, I was bad enough when my sister did that to me with a cat we had as children! I can only imagine how annoyed I'd be if it were my child.


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## LakeCondo (Sep 19, 2012)

*audrinasmommy88 wrote: *


> He wants to confront her in person, and he has been working every weekend (which is when we normally go over there) so he hasnt had a chance to say anything to her. Otherwise, this wouldve ended when it started. I have kept him up to date with what is going on so when he can talk to her he knows everything, but I dont know how much more i can take before i explode


If he can't do it in person SOON, he really should raise the issue by phone or text message, smoke-signals or whatever. If his name is William, she could call him that. Of course if you actually named him Liam ... I guess she could call him Lee.

One of my older cousins was named Winifred Evelyn & one parent called her Winifred & the other called her Evelyn. I don't know if this started before their divorce or not. There was never any disagreement about the other 2 kids' names.

And in grade school there was a boy whose name was Thomas Michael but we always called him Mike, perhaps because there was another Tom but no Mike. Anyway a couple times his mother was looking for him after school & we didn't know who she meant when she asked about Tom.

In thinking about it, I think it's a good idea to call & name a child the same thing. If that's the m-i-l's point, she's making it the wrong way.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

Katie, I havent spoke to my mother in 3 years either....my dad in almost 6...my mom decided to drive her car through our front yard and throw stuff and glass at our front porch because I wouldnt allow her to see my daughter...who would when she acts like that...my dad is a whole other story, very abusive to me. So definitely not people i want to be around or let my children around. But my MIL is alot like yours too...she will eventually get over it. We have had issues before, nothing like this, and she cant go more than a day without talking to me...especially because of Audrina. When me and the hubby were planning our wedding, we were trying to pick out what color tableclothes we wanted. They didnt have the exact color in our wedding so we were going to have to get it a shade lighter or a shade darker. Being that our reception was going to be dimly lit, we knew that the lighter color would be better because it would look darker in the reception. Well the MIL put her 2 cents in and wanted us to go with the darker color. If we had done that, the tableclothes wouldve looked almost black at the reception. This woman actually CRIED when we ordered the lighter color just because it wasnt what she had picked. She wouldnt speak to us until the next night!

Alma, I would love to put my foot up her ...  But I dont like being dirty hahahaha


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

Orlena, thats how I feel about it. Besides, its going to really confuse my 3 year old when one person is calling her brother Liam and the other is calling him Eli. We just finally got her calling him by his name. The less confusion the better.


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## Blue eyes (Sep 19, 2012)

I know this may not be the norm, but we never told anyone what names we chose for our kids while I was still pregnant. I figured they could find out after baby is born. That way, I figured, their only response can be "that's nice," and they can't try to influence us to change it 'cause it's a done deal. :wink


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

Im thinking thats what Im going to do if we have another baby. I havent had any problems except with her. But she always has to be complicated and manipulative to get what she wants...well let me tell you, she has another thing coming


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## LakeCondo (Sep 19, 2012)

She obviously has control issues. Is your husband an only child? My sister & I used to wish we had a 'bad' brother, so we'd get less attention. Of course as adults we're glad we don;t have to deal with this imaginary him.

Why don't you name him Liam if you're going to call him that? Your m-i-l might be happy she helped solidify the name choice & avoid confusion in what to call him. [Maybe she doesn't like Liam Neeson.]


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## bethepoet (Sep 19, 2012)

Personally, I don't think you should be the one to confront her. I *totally* understand your frustration. I'm highly strung as it is, and I can imagine I'm going to resemble a bear with a sore head when I am pregnant. So if it was me, I wouldn't be able to have a calm discussion with her. It would start out that way, but it wouldn't stay that way. If you think you might just fly off the handle, ask your husband to deal with it. He'll be stressed too, but not as much as you, so he can approach it in a calmer way. Plus he knows her better. 

By the way, I absolutely LOVE the name Audrina


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## I_heart_Fraggles (Sep 19, 2012)

Aw...I do not want to even get into my MIL vs. My wedding....But it sounds like your and mine are almost the same women. Its a control thing ya know and women like this do not like another women making decisions in THERE FAMILY without there input. They just can not stand that we lead our own lives. Name your baby whatever you like and just put your foot down on the name. If she can not call him by his name then maybe she does not need to visit....I am sure you can get her to back down. You hold all the cards. Now....Go snuggle a bunny.


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## I_heart_Fraggles (Sep 19, 2012)

Honestly one of our early decisions for not having a baby of our own is because we did not want Jason's mom becoming a total fixture in our household. Jason and I are big on privacy and being on our own and if a baby had been born she would have become a total nightmare. She actually told me once that when we have a baby she was going to be a "Very active grandma".....Meaning we would never have a day without her again :shutter:


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 19, 2012)

Bethepoet, thank you. I love her name too. I have always wanted my children to have names that you don't normally hear. 
Katie, we told her that it was just going to be me and my husband during delivery and she about had a heart attack. Sorry, but that's a very vulnerable, personal moment and I don't need her all in my "business" while I'm pushing out a baby. Plus, me and the hubby want it to be just me and him. It's a bonding moment and I don't want him to have to share it with other people. He feels the same way. So I put my foot down about that.
And you will be glad to know that Gracie is sitting on my chest right now and has been the past hour or so. I love it


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## bethepoet (Sep 19, 2012)

I actually just nearly choked on my drink - she was planning to be there during labour?!


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## bethepoet (Sep 19, 2012)

*I_heart_Fraggles wrote: *


> Honestly one of our early decisions for not having a baby of our own is because we did not want Jason's mom becoming a total fixture in our household. Jason and I are big on privacy and being on our own and if a baby had been born she would have become a total nightmare. She actually told me once that when we have a baby she was going to be a "Very active grandma".....Meaning we would never have a day without her again :shutter:


I can't even tell you how much that makes me shudder too. Like, this is actually one of my worst nightmares. Parenthood is SO personal, it's just outrageous to be so pushy about someone elses kid! Makes me glad that we don't have any contact with my MIL, she would totally be like this but in a sly, sneaky way.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Yes, she said to me one night "Yall need to let me know soon what the plans are with Audrina during delivery so i know what to do with her so I can be there". I said "Its just going to be me and Nick in the delivery room, so you will be watching Audrina." She did not like that idea. She has even said that she could be in the delivery room with Audrina. Umm, that is NO PLACE for a 3 year old. One, shes too young to see all that, and two, I dont want her seeing me like that, it would scare her to death


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Well it happened, we had the talk. She emailed me this morning and asked me how i was feeling (Liam is laying on a nerve right now and it has affected my left leg)....i told her me and Audrina were eating breakfast and that I felt the same. Her response was "Eli is punishing you for all the times you are going to tell him no" so I responded and said "Can you please not call him Eli. I know you want to but Nick and I decided his name is Liam and we do not want him going by any other name unless he decides that when he gets older." her response was "Oh ok sorry"....i thought that was the end of it, so i text my husband at work and told him I had just talked to her about it and was letting him know...he responded "I already know, she called me crying and said you were rude." I told him exactly what I said and he said that wasnt what she told him I said...1, I dont think I was rude at all, 2 why does she have to lie???? He doesnt care what she has to say because he knows how she is. But i saved the emails so he can see when he gets home that she lied to him. She should know better than to do that because she has done it before and Nick has laid into her about it and didnt talk to her for a month :X


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Sorry for the double post, dont know why it did that...was I rude?


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## bethepoet (Sep 20, 2012)

You weren't rude AT ALL. Very reserved, in my opinion, actually. She just sounds like an interfering MIL who can't accept that her child is a grown man who makes his own decisions now. If she can't get what she wants by pushing and pushing and pushing until you give in, she'll just lie and say you were mean. It's a kids trick, she's trying to divide and conquer. Ignore it! You've not done anything terrible and unforgivable - you've said something that needed to be said, it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things for her to just call him by the correct name. If she chooses to blow it out of proportion, that's her issue, not yours.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Thank you. I feel a little better now that someone said I wasnt rude. i didnt think I was, i couldve said much more, but I just left it plain and simple. Hopefully this will be the end of it because next time I wont be so nice


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## bethepoet (Sep 20, 2012)

Pssh, who messes with pregnant ladies anyway?! If you're that silly you deserve to be shouted at a little bit, lol.


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## whitelop (Sep 20, 2012)

You weren't rude at all! You did what you had to do, and she just sounds crazy. Sorry to use the C word, but I know crazy. hahaha. 
I know I said something about my mom wanting my sons name to be something else, but I completely forgot/blocked out my FIL wanting us to name my son after his brother who took his own life! Can you believe that? hahha. My kid is already being born into a completely insane family (because of my in-laws) and then he wanted us to name him something that came with such a stigma. 

Anyways, I know what its like to have the lying and stuff like that. Its hard to deal with, I've dealt with it first hand. My FIL does it and its awful. We stopped talking to him and my MIL for about 8 months one time because my FIL purposely threw away my family Christmas decorations that we left in their attic with permission and lied to me about it. I had a 3 week old son and my crazy was coming through loud and clear and lost my s*it on them! 
Its better that you get it out of the way now, before your son gets here because you'll be in no mood to deal with that bs. Its a very silly thing if you think about it. Its like why do you have to control every little thing?

I'm glad your husband sticks up for you though! Thats a good thing. Hopefully she'll just get it one day! But its exhausting to deal with controlling people like that, always having to worry how they're going to handle things and always having to put your foot down on things that shouldn't even be a big to-do. 
I wish you all the luck in the world! 
Don't let her take away from the joy of having your little boy! Just punch her in the face and keep on going!


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Morgan, that last statement made me laugh uncontrollably! I seriously want to do that! She has not spoke to me since then. Usually she is blwoing my phone and facebook up ALL day...but today, nothing...oh well, if she wants to act like that then so be it.


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## whitelop (Sep 20, 2012)

Exactly, at least maybe you'll get some peace for a little while. Maybe she'll stay quiet for a few more days and you'll be able to relax and not worry! 
Put your feet up and eat an ice cream sandwich, thats what I did when I was pregnant.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 20, 2012)

Actually an ice cream sandwich sounds great. And some Oreos! Gotta go to the store now!


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## whitelop (Sep 20, 2012)

Walmart has these ice cream sandwiches that have a vanilla cookie and a chocolate cookie with chocolate and vanilla ice cream in between. They are SO good!


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## Nancy McClelland (Sep 20, 2012)

She sounds like my mother in law. Her opinion is the only one that matters, she's never done anything for anyone out of goodness, she's selfish, self centered, and I can go on as I've had over 40 years worth of her bile. She talks down to everyone and bad mouths them even when they can hear it. Imagine my suprise when she asked why no one calls or writes her--she doesn't call or write to anyone. "I never hear from any of our friend"--they were his friends not hers. No one in the family can stand her. She's been living with us for 19 months now and I can't wait till she's gone. Nothing I cook is ever good enough. I bought a condo to put her in when we moved here 5 years ago and was going over twice a day to cook, clean, do laundry, shop, etc., and not once did I ever get a "thank you" and that was 20 miles each way or 80 total 7 days a week. I had to replace the carpet as she got hair dye all over, replace the stove and microwave--guess which oven she put plastic in and which one an aluminum pan in. Also ruined the counter top. Take heart that your not alone in your plight. If she keeps on like that, none of your kids will want to be around her either--my children can't stand her. Well, I feel better, but a Black and Tan Sundae sounds best.


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## LakeCondo (Sep 21, 2012)

It sounds like if people don't do exactly what she wants, or close to it, she thinks they are rude. Just try to relax & ignore her until after the baby is born. Let her son deal with her until then.

And who goes crying to her son, who's at work? She has boundary issues. Time for a little Dr Phil.


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## audrinasmommy88 (Sep 22, 2012)

Orlena, thats what I'm saying. He works at the shipyard and cant answer his phone. I will only text him unless its an emergency. Everyone knows that. So she called him and of course his first thought "My wife is pregnant and my mom is calling, let me answer so I can make sure everything is ok"...only to hear her crap. And yes that is exactly how she is. She has barely spoke to me since then. Which I am perfectly okay with. My phone isn't giving me a headache from ringing so much


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