# depression & mania



## Orchid (Oct 30, 2009)

I had been taking what I thought was a good combination of pills to control my very severe moods...they can be danergous even...Rages hit and I explain to people it is like a train that sees the car on the tracks, but no matter what it never stops in time...

I had been taking a multi vitamin, welbutrin xr 300mg, 50mg seroquel, 1mg clozepam in the AM...and 100mg of seroquel at night with another 1mg of clozepam....

I have been in the worst depression for days....one of those dont answer the door, hide on my couch times....

I decided to drop the seroquel from my daily diet of pills ...and wow...look at me today....either I cycled on my own to manic....or dropping the sedation pills woke me back up...I feel much better....

SUCKY thing...I lost my medicaid over...are you ready? $1.34. Yes seriosly....I appealed, they denied...and so no therapist and no doc to mess with the meds and make it right again...Not sure what I will do at the moment....but it feels nice to be showered, moving and doing...feels really great....

So if I seem all over the place and sound nutty in posts...it is because I am in manic mode!

Off to mow my lawn....


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## mardigraskisses (Oct 30, 2009)

:hug: I know how draining manic episodes can be. I'm on meds for it as well, but they hardly seem to make a dent. The joys of mental illness.:grumpy:


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## TinysMom (Oct 30, 2009)

Bunnies are so good for things like that...


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## Orchid (Oct 30, 2009)

I used to say if you could bottle Simon, are put him into pills there would be no such thing as depression  miss my boy....

Isobel is acting strange...like not running or freaking, not moving.....I do not know what to make of this...



Side note....MY MOWER FINALLY DIED! CRAP!

It has been doing that arrr ARR aarrr ARR thing with black smoke and smelling badly....everyone has tried to keep it running and it just wont start back up now...and to think all that GAS I PUT IN THERE FOR NOTHING! AH


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## fuzz16 (Oct 30, 2009)

hey! smile!

i was diagnosed wit chronic depression and unable to afford pills for two years...gotta find your own happiness maker thinger...not drugs or a bottle though miss. lol...

for me...i run.  does about the same but i have horrible mood swings around 7 and sadly some friends get the brunt of it...but eh its life.


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## Orchid (Oct 30, 2009)

Yeah I feel ya....for years I went un medicated and truly was a nightmare to be around....my mood swing are just evil and I think it is a HUGE cause why I can not sustain a relationship at all...

Now that I have gotten too heavy....I feel even worse...but I know sitting on the couch is not going to fix it or drop my pants size....It is a reason I stopped the seroquel...wanted to see if I would change and man I did...problem here....I wont sleep at night....plus that med makes you want to eat like you just smoked a joint.....no great for trying to lose weight..AT ALL!

Candy corns became my addiction this year...I am ashamed how many I have eaten...sigh...


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## pla725 (Oct 30, 2009)

I would talk to your doctor anyway to see what they suggest. Perhaps you may qualify for low cost prescriptions or free prescriptions. Do you have any other insurance?

I'm with you on the candy corn. Although I'm starting to get sick of the taste.


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## DeniseJP (Oct 30, 2009)

*pla725 wrote: *


> I would talk to your doctor anyway to see what they suggest. Perhaps you may qualify for low cost prescriptions or free prescriptions. Do you have any other insurance?
> 
> I'm with you on the candy corn. Although I'm starting to get sick of the taste.



No need to suffer - that is inhumane! Hope they can help you.... I have had chronic depression for years and am on two medications...and I am still not convinced they have the diagnosis 100% - always interesting to be one's own unique chemistry experiment...best wishes to you.......

Denise


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## Orchid (Oct 30, 2009)

*pla725 wrote: *


> I would talk to your doctor anyway to see what they suggest. Perhaps you may qualify for low cost prescriptions or free prescriptions. Do you have any other insurance?
> 
> I'm with you on the candy corn. Although I'm starting to get sick of the taste.



Can no do,...no medicaid...no doc....

I talked to them before this happened...asked if they would bill a second insurance I have...but they will not and I would have to front $100 and askfor 70% back....I have no way of doing that.

I think soon things will turn...I know right now that there is no COLA for SS this coming Janurary...that might make me eligable again for medicaid, depending if they raise there COLA or not...That would mean just making it through till Jan....

OR...the X getting laid off means me and no child support....my income dropped..If I can prove it, I get my medicaid back...Hoping I can do that not this Monday but next.



Right now I am staying with my multi vitamin and welbutrin xr 300mg in the am...and I am taking 2 -1mg clozepams at night to try to help keep me mellow...

Today was a good day....I hope it continues....


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## Chickadee289 (Oct 31, 2009)

Just started paroxitine, cause my shrink didnt thik 
I was bipolr.. just depressed. So I'm super manic and anxious as hell.. yo ucan M me if yo uwanna talk. I know the feeling.


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## katt (Oct 31, 2009)

getting up and active is huge. even just taking a 15 minute walk each day (or do what i do, no matter my mood i put music on and dance for 1/2 hour every night in my pjs)

watch your diet to. lots of veggies, stay away from processed carbs. low carb it completely if you can. avoid caffine, look for it in everything (i was shocked when i had to give up my midol, but it has caffine in it). eat a nice breakfast each day.

take a great multi-vit (even a pre-natal if you can), extra b vit., and get in sunshine whenever you are able.

i have been on meds off and on for about 6 years now. i am general depressive with social/general anxiety disorder with mood disorder traits. . . trust me, i know what your feeling lol.

and i would also suggest to attempt (as best you can, cause i know its hard) to not take anything right before you go to sleep. many tranqs mess with people's REM cycles and then you walk up not feeling rested. which only adds to the nasty cycle

and it sounds odd but trying out yoga and meditation work great for lots of people that are depressed.

these are just my pointers. fallowing most of this i was off meds for about 7 months (my longest stretch) and only went back on them due to some personal stuff that happened in my life.

anyway. hope it helps a little. and please feel free to pm me if you ever need. i am great at listening and sometimes that is the best thing to do, just rant and say everything you have built up. . . so no joke, talk to me if you need to!


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## Orchid (Oct 31, 2009)

*katt wrote: *


> getting up and active is huge. even just taking a 15 minute walk each day (or do what i do, no matter my mood i put music on and dance for 1/2 hour every night in my pjs)





> Yeah see I know that and yet I let myself fall into that wallow of self pity of feeling disgusting and not wanting to do anything cause why bother etc etc etc...Horrible...I have humana via medicare which allows me a gym membership....every day I check out the shedule and say maybe today...but I dont....I like the bike riding....but the one I did by,...it actually does hurt to ride and I think it will fall apart any time my very large self gets on it.....excuses...all of them I know...
> 
> watch your diet to. lots of veggies, stay away from processed carbs. low carb it completely if you can. avoid caffine, look for it in everything (i was shocked when i had to give up my midol, but it has caffine in it). eat a nice breakfast each day.





> Money hasbeen, as it always is...tight, but worse now that my X is laid off and my CS is mia till he starts getting unemployment...but I do have a part time job thing through Vocational Rehab...and what is great...they are understanding...and even though I messed up this week, I am allowed to come back on Monday and start again...I had been drinking coffee and teas with LOTS of caffine to get going in the mornings because I was so groggy...If I could go back to my slimfast...I would be happy...but it seems to all cost so much ya know...so I scrimp and scrape and get by each day on what we can...man I know that makes me sound poor and whatever...but really we just dont have much cash flow...
> 
> take a great multi-vit (even a pre-natal if you can), extra b vit., and get in sunshine whenever you are able. I do take one every morning...
> 
> i have been on meds off and on for about 6 years now. i am general depressive with social/general anxiety disorder with mood disorder traits. . . trust me, i know what your feeling lol.





> I didn't start feeling alright till I started with meds....Neurontin worked great but it made me constantly manic...and who can deal with that....plus it did not help the train of rage get under and kind of controll....
> 
> and i would also suggest to attempt (as best you can, cause i know its hard) to not take anything right before you go to sleep. many tranqs mess with people's REM cycles and then you walk up not feeling rested. which only adds to the nasty cycle





> The way I have been.....for AS LONG...as I can remember...is I stay awake all night and sleep during the day...for instance...it is almost 3am...I should be sleeping but didnt take the pills....I have not been sleeping deeply for weeks, wake up easy, am not feeling good or rested...I think...as it happens with almost ANYTHING I take,....I have grown too used to them. It happens with every med I take..
> 
> and it sounds odd but trying out yoga and meditation work great for lots of people that are depressed. I really liked the bodyflow class....that was a great class to chill me out...I have not been there since like 40 pounds ago...
> 
> ...





> anyway. hope it helps a little. and please feel free to pm me if you ever need. i am great at listening and sometimes that is the best thing to do, just rant and say everything you have built up. . . so no joke, talk to me if you need to!





> Thanks! and know I return the favor....





> Sometimes I can not believe how nuts we all are, how medicated we have become...god how did we live to even evolve to this point....


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## katt (Oct 31, 2009)

i think that everyone is different when it comes to meds. i went off them all for a while, only keeping my script for ativan(a tranq) for when i had really bad anxiety. and for a long while things were really good. i didn't need anything, but then some stuff happened and i did. i think that by next summer i will be back off of everything, as i prefer to not take mass amounts of drugs every day.

i know how you feel about sleeping all day and up at night. i am the same way. i have a really hard time sleeping at night and for a long while had a sleep med i got from my dr. to help with that. i have found that a lot of it is just working on changing my pattern. now i am in bed before 1 am, when it used to be up till 3 or 4 am. . . it makes a big difference.

as far as the getting up and moving its hard some days, i get it, but you just have to get in the habbit of doing it. want me to send you a message each day and get you motivated? lol, cause i will happily. i feel so strongly about it because it is the one thing that helps me more then anything else, just that 15 minutes of movement.

and the food. just work on one meal. start for breakfast, it is the best one to change and the most important. first skip out on coffee. if you NEED caffine (and i understand if you do) then go for hot tea, it has way less (do green tea if you can, lots of good stuff in green tea). scrambled eggs, a slice of toast, milk/water/soymilkand an apple/orange/banana/any fruit. that is my morning start most days. it is rather healthy, and besides the slice of toast nice and low in carbs. plus not to exspencive (and i get the money issue, trust me). also have you looked into a EBT card? (it is kinda like food stamps but on a credit card formate, not sure what it is called in your state, but it might help out untill you start getting child support back.

i work as a nutrition assistant at our local hospital, so food is a big part of my every day.

anyways, i hope i am not going off here to much. i just know what it feels like to deal with all this, and how much it all sucks, so i can't help but try to help anyone dealing with it.


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## SweetSassy (Oct 31, 2009)

I go to a pyschatrist and I know when my insurance wouldn't cover the drug he put me on, he gave me samples for like 6 months. Now that I'm married, insurance covers it. Maybe you can see if doc can give you samples. 



I feel for ya. I also suffer from depression, OCD and anxiety. It's harder for me when I'm not on meds.

When I was younger I would not eat with my depressionand now that I'm older food is my comfort. And I am about 25-30 pounds over weight. So I can relate.

  April


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## Orchid (Oct 31, 2009)

wow..and thank you all for the support!

Here in NC they have funny rules...you really must be like homeless with nothing and no money to get help. Last year I received 14 in food stamps, until they took that away...(I make too much which is funny but hey)..

Katt...I might take you up on some of that if it is ok...about some diet questions and what not...perhaps later on I can ask ya some of my Q's

Thanks all...


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## bunnybunbunb (Oct 31, 2009)

*TinysMom wrote: *


> Bunnies are so good for things like that...



Not when they are making it worse. I hate to say it but I know how it is as I have terrible anger and the rabbits just agervate it. They know how to push my buttons. I was up for 2 hours this morning at day break because they would not STOP. Everytime I fell asleep someone else started something. I was so angry I wanted to break something. I got out of bed 8 times or more. Ripping, chewing, scratching, banging thumping, Dillan broke out, ect. It was a horrible morning since I had not got to bed until 4 AM. I have terrible time controling it and in the end endup slamming a book against my leg, hitting something until my hand is throbbing, ect just to get my anger out and the dazed feeling coming.


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## Orchid (Nov 1, 2009)

Well...

You know I have been a part of a few things over the course of my life that were meant to help with depression..not feeling alone and all that...and I do have to say I feel best here at RO...Maybe because we are regular people with problems who share an addiction to animals in general...but I think some of us all connect with someone here well...and I am thankful to be here....

I hope no one minds....

I feel like posting about some stuff..Beware I suppose it could trigger some...

Yesterday really was hell...Off my tranq meds...feeling strange...

I have been telling and telling and warning my 8 year old daughter to clean her room or else...She KNOWS I am not bluffing...She KNOWS I will throw out whatever...it bothers me sure...I will try to put it off and get her to clean but I hit my threshold of nonsense like we all do...

Woke her up early to clean her room so if it stopped raining we could go to the farm...I was tired and went back to bed for an hour...hour 1/2....I got up..NOTHING was done...I did start yelling...had enough..and with out a care everything on the floor period was put in a bag and thrown out....the clothes on the floor went into a basket that went into my room and she may not have them back...messed up thing here is the kid does not have a lot of clothes, barely any long sleeve or long pants....she just wont take care of her stuff...I am hoping this will teach her a lesson and she can ''earn'' the clothes in the basket back...That really just ruined my morning because I was SO upset over it all,...I mean crap she is 8...why WHY is she battling me in such a passive manner....already (dont answer there are like millions of things it could be)...

So the fosters call, want to know about picking up Is...and I say fine..so they came and that sucked....we were all crying...We still miss Is....

So after that I didnt feel like doing the whole you are timed out and grounded bit...I let it go, we hugged and cried together....we ate dinner, snacked out on some stuff...watched one of my favorite movies...older but not old..."BUDDY" I think that lady wrote a book actually...I would like to find it and read it...and of course I cried when they put buddy into the zoo...that was the start...

I cry at commercials...

So then we watched Legend and that was ok....no crying...

After that I posted some here....Got Lina to bed late.....I went into my room feeling quite bummed out....Watched this movie Australia...sp? with Hugh Jackman...and man in this movie he honestly looks a lot like my x Anthony..not the x husband...last x bf. I really cared for him, I loved him..I really did ...but between my problems and illness and his fricking probelms..things grew to such a boiling point that it all exploded...we broke...and he just disappeared one day...it is coming on to a year since I last saw him or heard his voice...but the other day while watching a vid of Simon...I heard his voice..and it brought everything back...I still have his necklace...it shouldnt be with me, it was his...I have tried to talk to him and he will not respond to anything at all. He was the closest thing my daughter knew to what it might be like to having a real father around...She used to ask to call him Daddy...We met him when she was 5...he was there for her 6th and 7th and we lost him this time last year ish..It might have been...late NOV...early Dec...that was the last time I ever saw him...Seeing Hugh looking SO much like him...Isobel going, Simon has only been gone like a month and half..and honestly the disappointment of Jason (x husband) bailing out on moving here...it all bubbled up...my feelings about myself, who I am, what I look like, where my life has come to be..all the loss I feel I have suffer lately and it was the dam that broke...the tears came and I couldnt stop..I cried and cried and cried...and even crawling into my daughters bed to hold and hug her cause I just needed that human contact...I needed to hold my baby...

I couldnt calm down though so I popped a few pills I have and calmed way down but I knew it would knock me out hard...it did..THANK YOU GOD! I slept deep and hard as I have not in a while...I woke up real late at like 3pm...randomly giving orders from my sleepy bed through out the day...Lina brought me toast for bfast...I barely recall eating it...but so sweet of her...she even played quietly so I could sleep...I needed the sleep...I feel bad I got up late and am concerned it will take me time to sleep tonight...because I am allowed to return to my Voc Rehab pt job I messed up on last week...I do not want to miss tomorrow..plus I seriously need the money...

As bad as I honestly feel...as depressed and hurting, lonely and scared as I am...I feel like my feelings are mine again and the haze is gone...I can think and figure out things like I have not in quite some time...

I have this peacful sadness to me...that is....relaxing in a way...

Lina and I have been bonding and snuggling again, where as before I felt us slipping so far apart...

I know depression is all supposed to be evil and bad...but ya know...it feels good to feel like myself..and function as I usually have...even if it is not supposed to be the best or right thing...I mean this has always been me...and in a way I dont think that will ever change.. I will keep taking the welbutrin in the mornings...maybe it will help a little but I think I need to back of the sedating drugs...if even to feel like me...to feel my pain and cry ...and let my world come back to something I know...even if just for a little while.

I functioned better today then I have in a while even though I slept late. We went food shopping and though it was hard to make myself buy some of the $$ items, and I spent over 80 bucks....(which is what we spend in a month on food)....I am glad we did...We have a big bag of fish, another steak, some veggies, some snacks for her for school ...and other stuff....I came back, I made a nice dinner, we listened to music as I cooked and we sang and danced in the kitchen. I ate well, I cleaned up and washed the dishes and I feel good about myself even if only in this one moment.

I cant really explain or understand...but this has become like the warm blanket that calms me and makes me feel safe again...


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## Orchid (Nov 1, 2009)

*katt wrote: *


> i think that everyone is different when it comes to meds. i went off them all for a while, only keeping my script for ativan(a tranq) for when i had really bad anxiety. and for a long while things were really good. i didn't need anything, but then some stuff happened and i did. i think that by next summer i will be back off of everything, as i prefer to not take mass amounts of drugs every day.
> 
> i know how you feel about sleeping all day and up at night. i am the same way. i have a really hard time sleeping at night and for a long while had a sleep med i got from my dr. to help with that. i have found that a lot of it is just working on changing my pattern. now i am in bed before 1 am, when it used to be up till 3 or 4 am. . . it makes a big difference.
> 
> ...



Hi Katt...

If we could talk about....like an actual diet plan that would be great if you do not mind...I do better when I have like rules to follow ya know?

I did get some slimfast can shakes(for on the go), the powder mix (for bfast in the morning) and some of these Special K? strawberry snack bars? and drinking stuff that is supposed to help with hunger...So like tomorrow...I plan to have the shake in the morning which I slip some low fat yogurt in, make a piece of toast with jam...

Lunch, have a shake....drink that K drink to help keep hunger away through out the day ay work, which for me is 9-3:30...have maybe a snack bar thing with lunch (which is the Slimfast shake) orwhen I get home....and have a simple dinner...Want to try to get back to good little meals...I have not really been cooking..

So like tomorrow night we might have some flounder fish over rice with a can of peas.

I would like to try...to really lose this weight.

I want to get a little mp3 player that allows me to listen to music as I walk, ride my bike or go to the gym...I would like to try to buy a bike for myself that wont hurt and is not falling apart...I found one at walmart for like a hunderd that looks good...maybe a xmas present to myself!

My self image is making everything I think and feel about myself horribly bad...and if I can just even start to make a dent, stop gaining..I know I would start to feel better...

Oh and I do takea multi vitamin with my welbutrin every morning..

Thanks for any advice and help you can offer...

Fresh fruit and fresh veggies are hard because they seem to cost so much now!


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## Yurusumaji (Nov 1, 2009)

I also have general depression/anxiety. It's nice to know you're not alone, yeah?

Katie made a good suggestion to try yoga and be active. It made me think of something that helped me: Wii Fit. If you have a way of trying it out I would definitely suggest it.

I loved Wii Fit because it encourages you and I felt great when I was on it. I was really proud of myself for doing it each day and it's a lot of fun to play. There are some super cute games on there and you can move at a very slow and steady pace if need be.

Just a thought. Not all yoga poses are hard and there are several Beginner poses on there that my incredibly off-balance body could do that I enjoyed. It really helped me calm down.

I have been thinking about trying out kick-boxing as well. Doing something that works your muscles and releases your body's chemicals can be great for depression. I have never been on meds because I have heard to many horror stories about people getting addicted and having a hard time coming off of them.


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## bunnybunbunb (Nov 1, 2009)

I love yoga, you should give it a try 

I have been biking for a few months now. I wanted a bike again and when we found one in a yardsale my aunt bought it for me. $20, it is pink but I can deal with that. Moutain bike so that is great. I try to bike everyday. I Love it, listening to music and going as fast as you can speeding down the road makes you feel free. Everything just leaves you, life stands still. The best feeling


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## Orchid (Nov 1, 2009)

I do not have the wii stuff at all...

I do have a gym membership and read for a laugh? The richard simmons videos...I do that sometimes...and I really have not been going to gym, but since I do not work on Fridays...I have thought that at least maybe go then..no worries about my daughter and care...the gym give two hours free care per day...barely enough to get there and have a class, change your clothes etc...


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## Orchid (Nov 1, 2009)

*bunnybunbunb wrote: *


> I love yoga, you should give it a try
> 
> I have been biking for a few months now. I wanted a bike again and when we found one in a yardsale my aunt bought it for me. $20, it is pink but I can deal with that. Moutain bike so that is great. I try to bike everyday. I Love it, listening to music and going as fast as you can speeding down the road makes you feel free. Everything just leaves you, life stands still. The best feeling


The very reason I loved and still do...Motorcycles...I have never been more scared, alive, happy and free then when I rode....I sold my bike however,,....


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## katt (Nov 2, 2009)

*Orchid wrote: *


> Hi Katt...
> 
> If we could talk about....like an actual diet plan that would be great if you do not mind...I do better when I have like rules to follow ya know?
> 
> ...



sure! no problem.

first i would suggest limiting your caffine toless then 100 milligrams a day. in reference to products you might use, a cup of coffee (normally about 6 ounces of black coffee) is about 146 milligrams. if you are like many people and need at least a little jolt in the morning or thru the day i would suggest a 1 minutes brew of black tea which in comparison is only about 28 milligrams per 6 ounces black, if you need a stronger brew then about5 minutes is like 46. a twelve-ounce can of soda will have between 40 and 65 milligrams (depending on brand). if you are a pop drinker, i would switch to a caffine free cola or diet cola (most brand names make them now, and even alot of off brand too).

generally speaking you want 4 ounces of a lean protien in each meal, about4 ouncesof a startch/grain, andabout 6 to 7 ouncesof veggies. or a 30% protien, 30% startch/grain, and 40% veggie. . .if you break your round plate into a pie chart (not sure if any of that makes sense lol)

i personally consider eggs to be the godsend of food. they are cheap, filling, and very healthy. an egg white has only like 20 calories in it. the yolk has about 70.

it is wise for people that have anxiety issues to lean tward a vegetarian diet. you don't have to go full to that, but just by limiting how much red meat you eat, or maybe swtiching to soy milk can help. it is kinda complicated to explain why it helps with anxiety but it has some stuff to do with meats, egg, dairy, sugar and refinedflour productsleaving an acid-residue in the body and how the body reacts to that. 

and as hinted to just a second ago. stay away from the refined flour and sugar. especially the sugar. it does take some work, but in the end it is worth it to reach for that apple to help a sweet tooth then a milky-way. after a while of just not eating junk your body changes over to not liking the candy-bars and such. don't give it up right away, just do little things. like don't by ice cream, instead by real fruit sorbet or frozen yougurt.

slim-fast is great for busy people. or just asa meal replacement. can i offer a suggestion to try? instead of putting jam on your toast (which most contain white sugar) try a drizzle of honey, or real maple syrup. these are natural sugars and while they still aren't terribly healthy to consume lots of, they are better then jelly made with white sugar.

don't go to just 3 meals, try 5 or6 small meals. in reference to anxiety again people that have blood sugar dips tend to cause many of the same symptoms as anxiety. if you eat 5 or 6 small meals during the day you aren't really giving your system a chance to crash.

also, allowing yourself to cook a healthy meal for yourself and others(like family) can have an uplifting effect on mood. its all about how it feels to acomplish something, even as small as making dinner. 

i can't say how big breakfast is. it is so huge! don't skip it or skimp on it. it is way healthier to load up for breakfast and eat light the rest of the day then skip it and gorge at dinner. but try to stay away from carb filled cereals and such. if your not much of a breakfast food person then eat chicken, or something else.

and this is all just the start. . . i could keep talking lol. thats what happens when i work around food all the time and with people that are limited on what they can and can't have. i'm not saying to be perfect, don't think that. i know that i'm not (and for talking all this healthy stuff i fully admit that i am still 40 pounds overweight, and ate pasta in a cream sauce for dinner lol) its all about just working on the little things. like i said in an earlier post, just make one change to start out with. just work twards 1 great meal a day (like breakfast), then when you have that system down and are used to it try adding another. buy frozen yougurt instead of ice cream, but don't worry if you break down and eat a candy bar.

and here is the big thing, if you really want something. . . lets say your craving a whopper and fries. . . if you really want it, then here is a great suggestion (for when you can) first, drink a big glass of water, then think about if you really need it. and wait 10 or 15 minutes. if you still want it after that, then go for it. not allowing yourself a few guilty things once in a while will only make you hate yourself for when you give up and just eat it. the trick is to let yourself induldge (like my pasta in cream sauce tonight), to not feel guilty for eating something bad for you. just remind yourself that it's back to good after that and mean it.

and BTW, this is what works for me, these are the tricks that i have found to help myself out, it might not work for you (or maybe only a little of it). but doing this i have lost about 45 pounds in the past year, and i feel lots better about myself (enough to say out loud that i bought a jeanskirt that goes just above my knees. . . its a big deal for me as i hate my chubby legs)

ok, i think i've writtin enough. and feel free to ask anything about food in relation to depression or whatnot, if i don't know it is easy for me to ask one of the 9 diatitians that are a fountian of information

hope something i've said helps


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## Happi Bun (Nov 2, 2009)

Wow, great info Katie! 

I was diagnosed a few years ago with Major Depression Disorder, I also have anxiety problems that really affect me in social situations. I take medication for my depression disorder, Lexapro once a day. I also have to take something to help me sleep because after I got control over my depression I developed serious insomnia (weird, right?). I was prescribed Seroquel for that. I recently lost my health insurance, but before I did I stocked up on both meds. My psychiatrist was kind enough to give me a bunch of samples. I worry about when I run out and what I will do. Just recently I had to stop seeing my therapist because of the dropped insurance, it's too expensive. Though she offered a payment plan, I felt I had learned enough skills to handle tough situations on my own. I had to stop seeing my psychiatrist as well.

I've taken so many different meds I lost track. For a long time I was on Risperdal, but after having blood work done it was discovered the medication was messing up my hormone level to the point I started producing breast milk! I really don't like taking medication, I would like to someday not be on any, but because my depression is from a disorder it feels like I don't have a choice but continue taking it.


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## SweetSassy (Nov 2, 2009)

Katie, thanks for the info....

and CONGRATS!! on the weight loss. That is great! :highfive:


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## katt (Nov 2, 2009)

thanks guys! a lot of the information i gave is stuff we also use for patients that are in the metal health ward of the hospital.

and i wanted to say i focused on the anxiety aspect of it because what i found is that when i worked on my anxiety it really helped with my depression too.

and i forgot how big it is to talk to someone. i am in therapy, or should i say just back in therapy. if you can afford to do so, then get in a program.

if you can't i would suggest looking into anything from hotlines, to church groups, to finding a way to afford it (like my shrink only charges me for 1 out of like every 5 visits, she lables the rest as "med reviews" and my insurance covers them completely)

and thanks for the compliment on the losing the weight. it feels great to have it gone (and i can't wait to lose the other 40 pounds). actually most of that 45 pounds i lost was weight i had gained from my meds (stupid mood stabalizers made me eat like crazy, i was always hungery).

i too have been on just about everything. i have found a very happy place with prozac (i take only 20 mg during the spring/summer/early fall and bump it up to 40 mg during the late fall and winter cause my depression is way worse then). i am even happy to say i don't have a script for a tranq anymore.

i have found that if i use the methods to cope from therapy, mix that with healthy eating and sleeping habits, and getting active (like dancing around my house), then i am good in life!


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## Orchid (Nov 2, 2009)

*katt wrote: *


> thanks guys! a lot of the information i gave is stuff we also use for patients that are in the metal health ward of the hospital.
> 
> and i wanted to say i focused on the anxiety aspect of it because what i found is that when i worked on my anxiety it really helped with my depression too.
> 
> ...



That has been MURDER on my wieght gain....and well quitting smoking...both together and here came like 90 pounds....

Wish I could write more, but I have to go for now....Thank you for everything!


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## TinysMom (Nov 2, 2009)

There is a lot of great information in this thread and I hope the discussion keeps going.

However - since it isn't mainly about rabbits - I'm moving it to the Let Your Hare Down section of the forum because the topic is a better fit for that section.

Thanks for your understanding.


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## kirbyultra (Nov 2, 2009)

I didn't know depression meds made weight fluctuate so greatly... is it scary to be on medication?


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## Orchid (Nov 2, 2009)

*kirbyultra wrote: *


> I didn't know depression meds made weight fluctuate so greatly... is it scary to be on medication?



Some do, but not all....



I would say it would vary from person to person...I mostly have had no effect from meds tried...but like abilify, couldnt eat, couldnt sleep and felt like I was going crazy...

Seroquel is great for headaches and migraines...but tranqs...and some people have very different reactions to it...

I was the only person I ever know that had a med called Neurontin help me...was great for my depression...

I think it is more scary having to admit...I have a problem...I need help...and it is worse when you need to admit it the most...and need help the most...

All of course my personal opinion...

My old friend Sam in NY..was afraid to take any sort of pill...today she is on some things and she is relieved with how it has helped her...and sorry she feared taking them for so long...thinking things could have been much better for her years ago....but I think...things happen as they are meant to....


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## degrassi (Nov 3, 2009)

> I was the only person I ever know that had a med called Neurontin help me...was great for my depression...



Ugh, I tried Neurontin 10 years ago and just recently was put on(but stopped) lyrica(the new version of neurontin). I wish it had the effect of it helping depression. I had the opposite and was one of the "1 in 500" that got *severe* depression and panick attacks as a side effect. I already have depression and anxiety so it made it 100x worse and I had to stop taking it. Sucks because the Lyrica was the first medicine that actually helped my chronic pain. 

So its been a hard 2 months with being on this new medication, getting even more depressed and then having to stop the pill and have the pain come back. Then feeling sad/hopeless because I had to stop something that was finally helping and having my 24/7 pain come back. Its F'ed up. 

I wish doctors were able to just cure you. Give you that magical pill to fix everything.


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## Orchid (Nov 3, 2009)

*degrassi wrote: *


> I wish doctors were able to just cure you. Give you that magical pill to fix everything.



Well...while we wait...I will stick with buns...lol



ONe of the problems they did not mention is Neurontin is known to be bad for anger, can cause rage attacks....DUMB BUTTS should not give a med like that, to a person like me...but hey...It is why I stopped...

I had found the neurotin at like 1200mg or so, with topomax...seemed to work well...Topamax seemed to control the overly manic part neurontin through me into and controled my hunger issues...but it was the anger issues that got me away...

I think I might try to revisit it some how..talk it over with a doc...


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## degrassi (Nov 3, 2009)

*Orchid wrote: *


> *degrassi wrote: *
> 
> 
> > I wish doctors were able to just cure you. Give you that magical pill to fix everything.
> ...


Thanks, I'll have to ask my doctor about Topamax. Sounds like its similar(seizure med that also treats headaches) but without the "suicidal though" problems that can happen with neurontin and lyrica. Plus having a med that would also help control weight would be good  I could be headache free and skinny again!


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## kirbyultra (Nov 3, 2009)

I am so afraid of the depression med stories because I always hear about how crazy they make people feel or developing sleep issues, etc. Same with sleep meds and their side effects. I kinda feel like I will get prescribed something and I'll be too chicken to take it.


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## degrassi (Nov 3, 2009)

I"m scared to try any other depression meds now too. I've taken a few and they didn't work for me and were HORRIBLE! to come off of. I was sick for a month trying to quit them(yes I tapered off super slowly). It felt like I was going through drug withdrawls(nausea,dizzy,achy,couldn't think, would cry) and I couldn't function. I wasn't even on high doses!

So now that I was able to get off them, i'm scared to try a different one. If it doesn't work will I have to go through the same horrible withdrawls trying to stop it? Its hard figuring out if the possible side effects are worth the help from the pill.

Plus I had weight gain from them. Not the funnest of side effects


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## kirbyultra (Nov 3, 2009)

:tears2:


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## Orchid (Nov 3, 2009)

*degrassi wrote: *


> I"m scared to try any other depression meds now too. I've taken a few and they didn't work for me and were HORRIBLE! to come off of. I was sick for a month trying to quit them(yes I tapered off super slowly). It felt like I was going through drug withdrawls(nausea,dizzy,achy,couldn't think, would cry) and I couldn't function. I wasn't even on high doses!
> 
> So now that I was able to get off them, i'm scared to try a different one. If it doesn't work will I have to go through the same horrible withdrawls trying to stop it? Its hard figuring out if the possible side effects are worth the help from the pill.
> 
> Plus I had weight gain from them. Not the funnest of side effects



I know people will say it is wrong...but I do not believe in the tapering off for these sorts of meds.

I would rather get it out of my system and be done with it...then suffer through a taper down...

Personal opinion...


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## degrassi (Nov 3, 2009)

*Orchid wrote: *


> *degrassi wrote: *
> 
> 
> > I"m scared to try any other depression meds now too. I've taken a few and they didn't work for me and were HORRIBLE! to come off of. I was sick for a month trying to quit them(yes I tapered off super slowly). It felt like I was going through drug withdrawls(nausea,dizzy,achy,couldn't think, would cry) and I couldn't function. I wasn't even on high doses!
> ...


The problem with stopping suddenly is you can have severe withdrawls and become quite sick. Tapering is recommended to try and reduce those withdrawls and side effects. 

But even after tapering for a month, where I felt fine during it, it was bad. Stopping the last pill was horrible. I figure I probably would have felt the same effects if I had just stopped the full dose and not tapered. 

But I'm still not against antidepresssants. They are great medications and help a lot of people, you just have to know what you are getting into. Doctors prescribe them like candy and I dont' think most patients quite understand how they work or understand the side effects/withdrawls they can have. 

Has anyone tried Cymbalta?


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## swanlake (Nov 3, 2009)

I was on cymbalta for a while. I have been on many meds for my depression! Right now I am on Prozac and abilify. It seems to be working. I did do something drastic though, I had ECT treatment last year. I think it helped a lot.


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## Orchid (Nov 3, 2009)

ooo the zac and abil..had bad reactions for me....

Horrible nightmare from the prozac and I couldnt eata nd sleep when I tried the Abilify


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## katt (Nov 20, 2009)

i wanted to bump this to see how your doing orchid?


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## Orchid (Nov 20, 2009)

Thanks for asking Kat..

Not too well to be honest. My life and meds are kind of screwed up right now...and that whole I dont care attitude has set in again...but I am trying to care lol...


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## mardigraskisses (Nov 22, 2009)

I'm going through Prozac withdrawals right now. It's definitely a lot easier than the Zoloft withdrawals I was going through a few months ago. :tears2: I just hope the boyfriend sticks around for the insane mood swings I'm going to be going through for a few weeks.


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