# Feeling Responsible for someone else's rabbit



## jubidyjub (May 30, 2010)

So I raise and breed Jersey Wooly rabbits for show and 4-H. I have been involved in showing the purebreds for almost two years.

*Whenever I sell a rabbit I always interview the customer and take time to decide who I trust*

So my neighbors, who we have known forever, bought two wooly sisters from me last June. The youngest girl even joined our 4-H club and is becoming active in showing ARBA.

The bunnies seemed to be doing so well until about six weeks ago...

I received a distressed phone call from Lilly (the youngest girl Age:11) she was home alone and noticed that one of her rabbits was unresponsive but still alive. We assumed it was heat stroked and, over the phone, gave her the directions to try to save her. But it was too late.

It had only gotten to 81 that afternoon which is barely on the limit. So it was very unexpected.

I am feeling so incredibly responsible and guilty of what happened. Lilly and her family and gotten over the grieving although I am still stuck in this cycle of guilt. Iris (the rabbit) was just over a year old which has hurt me so much as she was so young.

My main problems that I'm having:
1. Iris was so young. She didn't live a full life
2. Why doesn't Lilly feel as bad as I do?
3. Wait, why do I want Lilly to feel this bad?
4. When I sell a rabbit I have no control on it's health thereafter.
5. i'm a breeder. I have to learn to accept death.
6. These thoughts will eventually turn into my agnostical thoughts on the afterlife i.e. Is Iris still out there somewhere? What happens after we die etc.


Some support or advice would be nice. Especially how to get over the problems listed above.ray:


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## Nancy McClelland (May 31, 2010)

we're sorry to hear of the loss of any bunny. It always gives us pause for reflection. We do extensive interviews before we let anyone have one of our rescued babies--we go over the top because our little ones have already had a bad start. However, things do happens out of any ones control. Our youngest, around 3 years suddenly died one night showing no signs of illness whatsoever. "I don't like but I guess things happen that way"--J Cash


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## tonyshuman (May 31, 2010)

Sometimes we can't see a rabbit's illness or death coming--they are very good at hiding many things from us. Even with the best, most attentive care, a rabbit can die suddenly. It's possible that that's what happened with Iris. Also, it is hard to tell just how badly Lily is feeling--we all grieve differently. It is always hard to determine whether or not a person will be the right fit for a rabbit, and sometimes the person deceives you and there's nothing you can do but learn later not to trust them. At the shelter we have to decide whether or not someone can take home one of our beloved pets and sometimes we do get it wrong. If you know that you did the best you could for her, it is not your fault, even if the death was due to negligence on the owner's part, which it may not have been.

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## kirst3buns (Jun 3, 2010)

#2-3

I agree with tonyshuman. I have two kids ages 10 and 13 and they both grieve very differently. We have lost several beloved pets within the last couple of years so I've experienced this first hand. You may not be seeing how badly she feels and maybe she isn't grieving around you because she doesn't want you to feel guilty (kids are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for). 

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you did everything right so please don't beat yourself up over this.


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