# Nala's tell-all blog! Quad-bonding and more! Nala, Alice, Harley Quinn and Barnaby (aka Big Bunny).



## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

My first blog, Nala and Gaz, was started in late 2012. I left the forums around 3/2014, when our beloved Gazzles died. I resurrected it on page 35 in Jan 2019 when I returned to the forums after our "son" (Layne) died of GI stasis on 1/19/19.

While JBun helped me find my old blog threads, I feel like (given the nearly 5 year gap and significant change-over in regime (only Nala remains out of our previous rabbits)), it might be better to start semi-fresh.

Just to make sure we're all on the same page... I've had some wine and I'm wearing hubby's "Jason" mask (Friday the 13th) while overseeing three "bonding in process" rabbits and insisting to cat boys that they don't need any of my cheesy onion bagel, listening to music and PMing Blue eyes to make sure she knows she'll be in trouble if she suggests to my husband that we might be getting both a degu and a corn snake, lol (I want both, too, but it's financially and cleaning-wise too big of a commitment).

If you plan to read this, I recommend catching up on my former blog from the "page 35" link above... but from now on, I'll post new stuff here .


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

Building on the three posts I made last night on my previous blog, all has been quiet on the Western front for a good two and a half hours. I have decided to make this the deciding night. I will be sleeping inside the bonding area on a twin size mattress topper with my pillow. Any significant chasing from the rabbit will require them to run directly over me, waking me up.

If I sleep until tomorrow morning without being woken up, they will have passed the test and be officially bonded. If they do wake me up, I will intervene and attempt to end things on a positive note, then separate them to their usual cages before going back to sleep. Crossing my fingers... But I feel like this is probably it for them. I think I will be able to consider them bonded after tonight, then have them live happily in the bonding room until I can build the refreshed/neutral condo this weekend.


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

They've still been in their separate corners... So I tried to agitate the situation a little bit. True to form, big bunny freaked out and exploded. I have been telling him repeatedly that there's nothing to worry about, but big bunny is just a worrier by nature. He is now inside my shirt with his head sticking out the neck hole. It is both adorable and completely ridiculous. See attached picture.


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## JBun (Apr 24, 2019)

You're brave. I gave up on difficult bonds long ago, just too stressful. If it's not love at first sight, I don't even want to try. But I guess if you fall in love with a particular bun, you just do what you have to do.

For underweight rabbits there is feeding a nice leafy alfalfa hay. It's high in protein, but the problem is it's also high in calcium, so could potentially cause bladder or kidney issues. If you don't want to risk that, there are old fashioned oats if your bun isn't prone to digestive upset and sensitive to carbs in the diet. If oats won't work, what I used for my old underweight bun(as she couldn't have oats) was black oil sunflower seeds that I picked up at the farm store. They are high in fat and low in carbs, so it didn't cause mushy poop for my bun and helped a bit with keeping weight on her. And it's easy to single out and feed them to just one particular bun. Though of course the other bun always seemed to know and beg for her share, which she was a bit chubby and definitely didn't need.

How is it that the big bunnies seem to be the biggest babies? Mine was the same.


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

I'll give the black oil sunflower seeds a try! I think the bird supply store we frequent sells them. Do I need to remove the shells, or no?

Oats were one of the very first things I tried to tempt that darn Harley Quinn with. She was excited for about half a second, ate maybe four of them and then add'd and wandered off. To be honest, that's her problem with most high calorie foods. I'm pretty sure she would wander back to them later, but of course that's assuming that no cage mate of hers has vacuumed them up in the meantime.

As for the difficult bond, I honestly have my suspicions that Alice will never truly be able to bond with the other rabbits. She has been on her own for over four years. The delay in having her spayed definitely seems to be complicating things.

Barnaby (aka Big Bunny) was originally meant to be a replacement partner for Nala. Harley Quinn basically invited herself along for the ride. What was meant to be a duo became a would-be trio without too much complication.

On the one hand, I like the challenge aspect of forming a quad because I've never had more than a trio and to me, bonding is the ultimate test of how well you know your rabbits. On the other hand, I'm going into this with open eyes, accepting of the fact that Alice may in fact never bond with the other three. I really want her to have a chance at friends, but at the same time I want to take it slowly and I don't intend to push it if things continue to go badly. All I want is for the bunns to be happy, and if it means Alice is permanently housed separately, I'm prepared to make that work.

Honestly, when HQ weaseled her way into the situation, I was well aware that adding two unbonded rabbits to two existing unbonded rabbits was a volatile situation at best that was much more likely to result in either two pairs or one trio plus a single rabbit then it was to be a successful quad (with the least likely but not impossible outcome being four single rabbits, none of whom got along). For some reason, I admit that I read Alice wrong - I would have guessed an outcome of two pairs was more likely than a trio with an odd rabbit out... Especially since Nala was initially reluctant to bond with HQ and big bunny once the "get to know you" car ride had ended.


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

I just got up to pee and, while HQ is still on the other side of the room, I caught Nala and big bunny in the adorable pose shown in the attached pictures.

On a side note, I have to say it is infinitely easier / lazier to post pictures from the cell phone then the computer if you're able to take the picture while formulating the post. Seeing as it isn't uncommon for me to get up from my chair and go take a pictures specifically to illustrate something in the moment, I will definitely have to keep this in mind.


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

One more, simply because this one was significantly cuter than the other two.


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## Imbrium (Apr 24, 2019)

After two hours of sleep on a mattress topper on the bathroom floor and being woken up numerous times by Nala using me as a jungle gym (a habit she's had since she was a baby), I was woken up by certain butthole cats and their daily crack-of-dawn insanity. While trying to get back to sleep, Nala and Big Bunny shot across the room, right over me, then slammed into the corner. I couldn't tell if it was fighting or if she startled him and it caused a chain reaction that led to a chase. Either way, that was the end of the session . On the plus side, I can lock the cats out of the bedroom and curl up in the king-size bed.

The good news is that this sort of minor altercation is how marathon bonding sessions always seem to end (where I'm trying to "bond until they're bonded" unless there's a reason to separate) and at least they never hold a grudge about it. It's not so much fighting as seeming ready to part ways for a bit. I feel like Nala still misses Layne a lot yet isn't overly eager to replace him. BB is nearly six years younger than her and I suppose if someone made me hang out with a teenage boy at my age, I'd reach a point of "ok, I've had enough, can he go home now?" too, lol.

I think instead of marathon sessions, I'm going to try more frequent but shorter sessions... pretty much, instead of taking turns having "out" time in the living room, they can have shared running around time in our bedroom. While Nala definitely gets to a point where she's ready to go home (alone), she still seems quite open to the idea of the other two rabbits, so I'm sure I can wear her down on the issue eventually . Come to think of it, Layne was a juvenile when Nala was around 3 and she initially had a bit of a "who's this young punk?" attitude about him... but they ended up the best of friends.


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## Imbrium (Apr 26, 2019)

I am laying in bed with insomnia, looking at RO on my phone. Trying to answer a couple posts using speech to text... Do you have any idea how frustrating that is to do when you have a bad case of the hiccups? Because that's where I'm at right now and it's making me a little crazy.


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## JBun (Apr 26, 2019)

No, the shells just provide extra fiber, unless you're concerned about them having pesticides on them or something(which might be possible). I just always fed them whole and people that I know that feed them do as well, but I was overly careful(in my nature) about checking each seed to make sure the shell wasn't cracked as I didn't want to give my bun a possibly decayed/moldy seed(you know those nasty ones you bite into and spit out), which actually could possibly make a bun quite sick if they were to swallow and not spit out. Though to initially tempt her with them you may need to remove the shell and just give the seed. Of course, knowing rabbits, you might then be stuck with her deciding she would much rather you dehull all her seeds 

So cute! I love seeing bunnies happily snuggled. Sounds like she just needs time to get used to this whole new situation/bunnies. Which is understandable at her age. I agree, I would need a break too.

Can't say I've ever tried speech to text when I've had hiccups. That could be interesting.


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## Imbrium (Apr 26, 2019)

Surprisingly, the hiccups didn't even register with it... but unfortunately, if I said a word right after the hiccup, it didn't register either >.>

This is not a good day. Hubby was supposed to get out of the mental hospital (after 10 days) but now the stupid doctor is screwing around and saying Monday after he was promised to get out today. Some of it is that we were late having a phone-therapy-session thingy with the therapist - it was supposed to happen yesterday, but she left work early due to a death in the family. We got it done today, but she said the doctor still has to sign off on the discharge and it probably won't happen today. That's such a load of BS! He needed to go in when he did, but now he's been in there too long and it's making him SUPER depressed. It's making ME depressed. It's making the cats absolutely INSANE. I took today off of work to deal with this, so I won't be able to get Monday off. I'm waiting for a return phone call from his case manager at the outpatient psych center we go to - I'm hoping maybe she can help get him out, but the work day is wrapping up in the next three hours, so I'm not hopeful .


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## Imbrium (May 12, 2019)

Man, did we have a day today! Took Nala, Barnaby and HQ to visit Jay's gma at her home (like a nursing home, but in a house). Didn't actually parade the rabbits around there, as she was in her room today rather than the common room, but they got lots of love and attention from one of the caregivers. Then we went to Petsmart under the guise of getting some minnows to feed the turtle. Put a folded tarp down in the bottom of the shopping cart (didn't plan ahead to bring a towel or blanket) so they had a solid(ish) surface and turned the cart into a mobile trio-bonding pen (worked *wonderfully* by the way!). They got so much love and attention in the store, lol. Unfortunately, Petsmart wasn't selling feeder fish for the next MONTH, presumably due to some sort of parasite or infection.

When we left, we had no particular plans so I asked hubby if he wanted to go do a repeat of the bonding/showing off session at Petco, again under the guise of getting minnows. Petco ALSO wasn't selling feeder fish! They must share a supplier . A shipment of feeder fish was infested with "Ich" and since all three of their feeder fish tanks share a filter, they all were under quarantine and couldn't be sold. Boo. Rabbits got even more attention at Petco! One woman told us of living in a hotel in Belgium as a little girl with a bunny, "Wabbit" - the cooks from the hotel would bring her all the "garbage" parts of the veggies they prepared and spoil him with love and food. She even moved to Iran and other places with Wabbit... and after loving on our bunnies a ton, told me that she really appreciated getting to visit with them - she needed a "rabbit" day today in particular. Two female employees agreed with me and hubby about choosing pets over kids as they, too, fawned over the trio .

We wanted to run to Walmart quick, so we came home to drop the rabbits off because of Walmart's newish, and (to us) very rude anti-pet policy. I blame dogs using carts as mobile bathrooms, as they especially emphasize no dogs in carts (including service dogs). We used to bring Nala and Layne to Walmart pretty often and when our cats were a few weeks old, we brought a couple kittens to the store. I've seen people in there with tiny puppies, even a snake! I recently saw a woman smuggling the tiniest puppy in her jacket, lol. We shared a laugh after I caught her and said "Awwwww!"

After Walmart, we stopped by Jay's mom's trailer (same property as ours) and I swiped four cherries for four cute little rabbits. I came home and sat on the floor to get the pits out and dispense the tasty flesh. On top of Alice's cage was the carrier Nala had been in... as I was giving out cherry pieces, I saw something furry and brown in the carrier and for a split second thought I'd somehow forgotten to unpack Nala! Then I realized, I'd just FED Nala. It was Pokey! One of our cats got up on top the cage, climbed into the carrier and was taking a nap, lol.

Then I stopped by the kitchen on my way to the bedroom, where Alice was (supposed to be) in a pen getting her daily exercise (she was getting extra time out because she didn't get to come on the adventures today on the grounds that she's mean to the other rabbits). As I'm turning to leave, there's a sudden chase scene involving three cats and a rabbit!!! Little Alice was tearing through the house on the warpath and cats were frantically scattering to get out of her way!


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## Imbrium (May 13, 2019)

Oh, I forgot about the funniest part on the WAY to the Walmart! My MIL had warned us about turtles crossing the road every once in a while... I saw something big lumbering across the road on the way out of the area where we live (rural area in the midst of The Woodlands area of Texas). I had thought they'd be smaller but they're HUGE (like a foot across in diameter)! Two cars going the other direction just barely reacted in time to straddle the turtle, who was 2/3 of the way across the road... no one behind me, so I stopped the car with the hazards on, hopped out and grabbed the turtle. She tucked her head into her shell and let me pick her up... I tossed her gently into the reeds on the side of the road she'd been headed towards. I think she appreciated it, heh.


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## Imbrium (May 13, 2019)

On a side note, I don't have any kids, but I feel like you shouldn't be allowed to call a cap "childproof" if my PURSE can open it. Getting pretty sick of generic ibuprofen spilling all over the place >.>


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## Imbrium (May 14, 2019)

I suppose it's over now, but today (the 13th) was me and hubby's 6 year anniversary!! 

We had a great day - I had an unexpected day off (work was cancelled); we went to Lake Conroe (though we got there after it closed and couldn't swim, we got to sit on a pier in the marina and eat a picnic lunch), among other things. We've been through a hell of a lot in the last 6 years, the worst of it involving his newly diagnosed schizophrenia and bipolar disorder... but our marriage is stronger than ever and his new meds are working out really well. As bad as any of the bad times have been, the good times have been even better... and that makes it all worthwhile, you know? After six years, my big take-away on marriage is that, if you marry your best friend, nothing is ever insurmountable!


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## Sissy (May 14, 2019)

Happy anniversary, belatedly. Life certainly sounds eventful in your household!


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## JBun (May 14, 2019)

Your life always sounds like an adventure. Alice sounds absolutely hilarious  I'm sure it's quite entertaining to see her in action. 
Happy anniversary!


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## Imbrium (May 14, 2019)

Oh, she is SO cute and terrible. Rotten to the rabbit core and equally adorable! Maybe one day I'll get some video of her chasing cats, lol.


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## Imbrium (May 21, 2019)

Okay! Mommy had a day off and was actually caught up on chores enough and had enough energy to take Daddy on a double (triple?) date with four bunnies.

Everyone had had two to three weeks to forget about Alice and her nip happy behavior... The trio trip to pet stores last time was such a success that Mommy decided to showcase her quad-in-the-making today.

We ended up spending a little over 2 hours in the car/in pet stores. Drove around to run some super quick errands, leaving hubby in the backseat with rabbits (and a/c of course).

Stopped at a Petco first where they really stole the show. I like the Petco shopping carts as they're more raised, a little smaller and give a great view of the contents. This makes it much easier to show off rabbits to eager passers-by. More than one person commented that they liked Petco better than PetSmart specifically because you only ever seem to see dogs at PetSmart while you see all sorts of crazy things at Petco. Honestly, while our four rabbit deal was awesome, I really would have loved to see the person who brought in 10 day old kits and/or the person who showed up with a goat (stories told by a Petco employee).

When we got back to The Woodlands, we stopped at the PetSmart by the house. There, most of the attention came from the employees in the grooming and boarding area, who love our rabbits.

We made it nearly two and a half hours without Alice nipping anyone! Barnaby did try to hump her once in the car but she just sat there and took it. They were all on their super best behavior... so we decided to continue the bonding session at home in the bonding area.

That isn't going quite as well, but still good. No one has fought or humped, but everyone is a little iffy. Harley Quinn has been expressing herself with so many thumps it sounds like Morse code and Nala has been thumping back at her and Barnaby a fair amount. I'm trying to push them through it, though and everybody has been eating hay and kind of chilling in their own parts of the bonding pen. When they do cross paths I make sure they keep the interaction positive or neutral. Again, the highlight of this is that Alice hasn't bitten anyone.

Hubby and I both agreed that tonight was an awesome double/triple date. Lots of fun and a great use of a day off. Now that Mommy is done chauffeuring everyone around, I've gotten into the wine and I'm sitting in the bonding pen with - for the first time - all four of our rabbits.

To help me referee, I have with me "the stick". It's some random broom stick my husband found at our first apartment complex with no broom attached. Over the years it has been spray painted and decorated and bestowed with "magical" powers... Primarily, the power to mediate over all disputes in this household. For you South Park fans out there, it has come to be known as "The Stick of Truth". The stick is the ultimate mediator, gently parting the seas when rabbits start to get a little too interested in each other in a bad way.

Anyway, we've been in the bonding area for over an hour with no significant scuffles. Harley and Barnaby are huddled together in the bottom level of a bookcase while Nala and Alice are in their own areas of the pen. Nobody has bitten, there's been literally a single hump and a lot of hay has been eaten. For a first session with four rabbits, it's hard to imagine it going any better.

The only downside for the day is that it still breaks our hearts whenever Barnaby cringes when you go to pet him. Dammit, big bunny, nobody is ever going to try to eat you and nobody is ever going to hit you. I don't know what happened to him and his first six months of life before he was found in the park and brought to the shelter, but I truly hope we can eventually heal that wound.


Edited to fix a variety of stupid typos caused by speech-to-text technology.


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## Imbrium (May 21, 2019)

Nobody wanted to respond to Alice's grooming requests, so I grabbed her and licked the top of her head repeatedly. I don't think she appreciated the gesture. Meanwhile, hubby just came in with a totino's pizza and Harley Quinn thinks she needs some of it.


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## Imbrium (May 21, 2019)

Still asking to be groomed.


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## Imbrium (May 22, 2019)

Right now, it's a bit after 11 p.m. and the rabbits have technically been together since around 5:45 p.m. I'm really excited about how the session is going - better even than we had hoped.

I guess at this point, I'm inclined to try fast-track bonding with the quad... work schedule permitting. Whether we stick with that or not remains to be seen. Because of the inherent volatility of a quad bond, even with successful fast-track bonding, the final transition from bonding to living together will take significantly longer than it would with a pair or trio, though. It's simply going to be harder to make a final, confident determination regarding the safety of moving them in together.


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## Imbrium (May 22, 2019)

7 am. I've had enough of napping in the bunny pen and am moving to our bed a few feet away. Alice has really made breakthroughs in the last 14 hours or so! Hubby says it really only took about 10 minutes into the car trip yesterday for the little lightbulb to go off that other rabbits are for making friends, hehe. So far, HQ seems to be the boss, followed by Nala (who seems to defer to HQ because it's the path of least resistance), then Alice and finally Barnaby... except when exciting food comes up, then he can get a little shovey (and I'm sure having three wifeys to chase won't slow down his circling/chasing at pellet and veggie time).

There have been a few very minor scuffles and a nip here and there, but they always work things out by themselves and there's no consistent aggressor. Honestly, I feel like we're about 2/3 of the way to being able to call them bonded... with the final third being moving everyone in together. The bad news is that I was totally unprepared for things to go this well and I've gotta wait almost 2 weeks for my next paycheck in order to be able to buy the stuff to finish/renovate the condo to make it new (then find time to do so)... so we'll have to slow things down and just do continued sessions in the meantime, but I think that's probably better anyway since there's a lot of change for them to wrap their heads around. I'll leave them together in the bonding area for most of today if things continue to go okay and then put them up before I go to work tonight.


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## Imbrium (May 22, 2019)

Spoke WAY too soon .

I was still at the computer keeping an ear on things since I suspected that not having me in the middle of the bonding pen might trigger a scuffle... but I did NOT expect a full-on, scary fight (worst I've seen, though that bar wasn't set very high). Barnaby and Alice were tumbling around like crazy wrestlers! I rushed in to separate them, making a lot of noise and commotion on my way into the pen to try to disperse them faster... when I got to them, Barnaby was upright but Alice was on her side, kind of balled up against his side... it looked like she was both biting and kicking at him. Freaking Alice. I love her to bits, but she's definitely our fire-starter. They calmed down very quickly, at least. I inspected Barnaby; his fur is very thick/dense and she didn't seem to get even remotely close to breaking the skin.

I really should've forced them to end on a positive note with each other, but it didn't happen due to being tired, overwhelmed and having ripped the pen open (meaning Nala and HQ could potentially stroll out while I was dealing with the brawlers)... plus I didn't want to wake hubby, so I was on my own putting all four rabbits back in their enclosures in the other room. I just got them calmed down and put back in their cages, which are next to each other. They both flopped out immediately, pretty close to each other at that, which seems like a positive sign. I feel like I really just pushed it too far too fast on this marathon session, as it was going quite well for nearly 14 hours. On my next day off, we'll take everyone for a reboot car trip again. Man, bonding can be an emotional roller coaster.


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## A & B (May 22, 2019)

Imbrium said:


> Man, bonding can be an emotional roller coaster.


I feel this. While I've only been bonding for only 4-5 days, it's a lot. We've gone from what I thought was love at first sight to a couple of scuffs that surprised me and then grooming, and who knows what is going to happen throughout the next couple of weeks.

I'm sorry they seemed to be getting on well and then they weren't. You're brave for even attempting a quad and I hope things go well. I just love Barnaby. He seems to be the biggest baby! I love how Alice and HQ's colorings match!


Imbrium said:


> (and I'm sure having three wifeys to chase won't slow down his circling/chasing at pellet and veggie time).


I'm sorry if this isn't appropriate, but your rabbit quad reminds me of the show "Sister Wives" on TLC, with the one husband and a ton of wives


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## Imbrium (May 22, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I'm sorry if this isn't appropriate, but your rabbit quad reminds me of the show "Sister Wives" on TLC, with the one husband and a ton of wives


LOL. Oh, and Barnaby really is the biggest baby.


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## JBun (May 22, 2019)

Yay! You may actually end up with a quad(despite their scuffle).

I love that last photo with them laying down nose to nose. So cute!


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## Imbrium (May 25, 2019)

Work got cancelled on Thurs (boo ><). We took them out in the backseat of the car again and to a couple of pet stores to ride around in the shopping cart and get attention from strangers, lol. We were out with them for an hour and a half and then had them loose in the big master bath area for about 2 1/2 hours. The whole thing was thoroughly uneventful - yay!! Got tired and put them up while things were still going very positively. All-in-all, a great session. It was like the fight the other night never rabbit happened.


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## JBun (May 25, 2019)

"never *rabbit* happened". Is that different than normal 'never happened'? 

I'm happy it's proceeding smoothly. There's hope!


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## Imbrium (May 25, 2019)

Yes, it really is different, lol... an inside joke hubby and I have. I normally feed/water the rabbits but any time I ask him to do it, when I go out there later, they SWEAR it never happened and beg me for whatever (especially when it was pellets or treats that he gave). I say "I know your daddy fed you bitches" (I use that term very affectionately when they're being brats) and they swear on their cute little ears that "It never rabbit happened."


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## Imbrium (Jul 27, 2019)

Been putting off updates for a while now, heh. First, internet was unreliable and practically unusable on the computer for at least 2-3 weeks (though at least it worked on xbox and we could stream hulu/netflix since we don't have cable)... then life got in the way and I never got around to getting caught up on my blog here. Anyway, screw getting it all caught up... bottom line is, I still don't have a quad and Alice is still a firestarter, but I'm not tripping about that.

Right now, I'm more concerned about poor Nala. Wednesday, things were fine when I fed morning pellets and evening veggies. Thursday, I gave pellets around noon and instead of running up like an addict to a pile of crack, she ignored them. I wasn't too worried, because I immediately offered a craisin which was eaten. I gave simethicone and moved her to the bonding pen for extra exercise and so that she would be in our bedroom where we could more closely monitor how much she was eating. She nibbled on hay intermittently and was very active (periscoping, running around, flopping and zero signs of pain)... we put her back in her cage overnight, and in the morning the pellets from the day before were pretty much gone... but when I went early this afternoon to give pellets, they were again ignored. I looked her in the eyes and I was pretty sure she was trying to tell me something, but I didn't know what. Activity level still normal, still pooping some, still drinking normal amount of water.

Since the situation hadn't resolved itself in over a day, the odds of it doing so had clearly decreased. Seeing as she WAS still eating, just less, her behavior was normal and she definitely did NOT look sick or pained, I booked an appointment with a vet for later in the afternoon, with a gut suspicion that the likely cause of her near-stasis might be tooth spurs. She turned 7 at the start of June, so she's a senior bunn - that can mean changes in the status quo health-wise and she hasn't had a general check-up in years because we couldn't afford it and she's never been ill or injured.

We went to a new vet, as it was our first time needing one since our move last spring. LOVE Pets Paw Animal Hospital in Conroe! They did a great job... as did Nala. I talked to the vet not just about the last couple of days, but about the fact that she HAD been overweight and her recently-ended "diet"... also, about the very faint limp/favoring of one rear hip that I had attributed to obesity and the potential for arthritis. Nala was INSANELY well-behaved! The vet *really* poked, prodded and inspected! Spent a few minutes inspecting her teeth/mouth and then a few more palpating her hips/rear end, watching her hop around, etc. She does seem to have some mild osteoarthritis in one hip. More importantly, she's got mild to moderate pointy bits on her rear molars on the left side and moderate to severe on the right side . Filing them down is going to run us nearly $300! Ugh.

Thankfully, I've been saving up for 3-4 months and had just (seriously, last week) come up with enough money to get the air conditioner in my car fixed - at a cost approximately the same as the estimate for the dental work. Not-so-thankfully, this means spending the rest of the summer driving around with NO air conditioner or even vents *cry* (the blower motor is shot). I severely chastised Nala for not eating enough hay/being too wedded to 3rd cut and costing me an air conditioner, lol... but I booked the next available surgical appointment, on Wednesday. I've also been making the switch from calling her "little girl" to "old lady" lol.

Vet recommended critical care in the meantime... they sell it for $17.50, which is nearly twice what I usually pay if I shop around online for a good deal, not that I could even afford $10 right now. Instead, I made DIY pellet slurry with some applesauce mixed in. She wouldn't eat it off the spoon, though the other three rabbits were willing to throw down for a chance at it, hehe. I left some of it in a pile on the floor of her cage. Turned around a couple mins later and she was chowing down - yay! She's eaten a good bit of her daily pellet ration that way now and she's still eating hay and fruit/non-leafy vegs. We just have to make it a few more days and hopefully things will be back to normal. I might need to come up with the cash for some 1st or 2nd cut timothy to mix in with the 3rd to help her teeth so we don't have to repeat the procedure 1-2x a year though - 3rd cut was never a problem before, but the decreased caloric needs (and therefore appetite) of a senior bunn can change that. The important thing is that the cause of her semi-stasis may be expensive but it doesn't pose imminent danger, which is a HUGE relief given my past bad experiences with stasis. I'm so glad I listened to my gut and called around until I could get her a vet appointment today!


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## JBun (Jul 27, 2019)

Yeah, just when you think everything is going good, a rabbit gets sick or has a health issue. If she'll eat it I would recommend orchard grass instead. It has a higher silica content than some of the other grasses, which is one of the primary things in grass that helps wear their teeth down as it's very abrasive. I know of someone who's bun had to have dentals every 2 months. She switched to orchard grass and her bun went a whole year before needing another dental. I'm convinced it's one of the better hays for helping prevent overgrown molars.


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## Imbrium (Jul 27, 2019)

Thanks! She definitely likes 3rd timothy better, but I could try mixing the two once I've got enough to make another big hay purchase .


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## A & B (Jul 27, 2019)

Aw, I hope Nala is okay and it doesn't cost you too much. I can't imagine having no A/C in a hot car in Texas!


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## Imbrium (Jul 28, 2019)

Yeah, the no AC sucks so much, but I'm begrudgingly accustomed to it by now, since it's been out for like 3 months .


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## Imbrium (Jul 31, 2019)

I've been having so much trouble sleeping ever since Nala first started shunning her pellets last Thursday... just worrying my butt off about whether or not she was eating enough. She only occasionally ate her pellet "oatmeal" (microwave-boiled pellets with unsweetened applesauce and canned pumpkin in it to make it more tempting) - one day's pellet ration (fluffed up from boiling and mixed with the tasty stuff) lasted like four days. She only picked at her hay, she wouldn't eat kale (her absolute favorite) and would only eat small amounts of carrot tops and curly parsley. She'd usually eat a baby carrot, but not always. Syringe feeding would work one day, but she'd put her foot down and spit it out the next. Rolled oats would get nibbled on inconsistently, as would whole grain crackers. Banana and craisins were the only things she never said no to, and those are even higher sugar/carbs than the other junk food I was feeding so I was really stingy with them and would only offer a small bite when all else had failed and it didn't look like she'd eaten anything in a few hours.

Today might be the first time I've ever been excited to drag my butt out of bed at 7 am (on four hours of sleep), lol. Ever since the vet visit Friday, I've been counting the days/hours until tooth trimming time. I dropped Nala off with a sack lunch since they want to see her eating before they release her (small ziplock bags containing a little bit of both kinds of hay I have, a small handful of pellets, a couple sprigs of curly parsley, one baby carrot and 3 craisins - a grab bag of tempting and nummy things).

Apparently it's been bunny central at the vet! The receptionist said they saw four different rabbits yesterday. I hugged and snuggled Nala and talked to her a minute about what was going to happen and then handed her over... now it's time to worry all day, heh. I really like this vet office and they're clearly bunny-savvy, but anesthesia always carries a certain risk, you know? "Routine procedure" isn't a guarantee. They're only gassing her, no injectable (why does the spell check say that's not a word? Stupid dictionary and its limited vocabulary *shakes a fist*) anesthesia, so I assume that reduces the risk of complications... but at the same time, she turned 7 about 2 months ago and risk of complications goes up with seniors.

On the one hand, she *should* be fine, but on the other hand, that little bunny is my heart and soul. I don't "play" favorites with our menagerie, but that doesn't mean I don't *have* a favorite and it's Nala by a landslide. She was the first one; without her influence, there might not even be a menagerie at all. It's eating me up that I know our time together will come to an end in the next few years - I'm nowhere near ready to say goodbye, so from now until the phone rings, I'll be driving myself crazy worrying about her.

In the meantime, one can only hope that Nala's day-long absence will somehow clue the other rabbits in that something unusual has been going on - you should see the butt-hurt faces I've been getting from the other three because she's been getting to eat junk food like a kid with strep throat eating ice cream all day and they know it. I've given them slightly more treats than usual but still strictly limited, plus I've been splitting up their pellets and veggies into multiple feedings to reduce the number of times where I bring something to Nala but the others get nothing at all.


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## Imbrium (Jul 31, 2019)

They just called, Nala did great!! Now I can nap until it's time to pick her up.


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## Imbrium (Jul 31, 2019)

So the vet tech gave me a quote last Friday... I've always heard around $200-300 is normal for standard tooth work, so I wasn't surprised when the quote was $280ish. She told me that the quote was for the maximum amount it could be and indicated that there was a good chance it might be like $30-50 less by the time it was done - it depended on how long it took the vet and how long they had to keep her under anesthesia. I was floored by the total when it came time to pay - $149! Apparently her mouth was very easy to navigate and they got the procedure done much faster than anticipated. Plus, the vet said her mouth looked so good afterward that he didn't think she needed to be sent home with pain medicine (though if I think she needs it, I can come back for it), which saved around $25.

When I picked her up, it was nothing like after her spay surgery with the injectable anesthesia (lethargic and groggy)! She was perky and happy-looking. It seems she ate the veggies from her sack lunch, but not much else. Still not eating pellets at home; I'm going to check soon to see how much of what she's eaten. I assume it can take a couple days for her to get it through her head that she can eat normally again without tooth pain.

Since it cost almost $100 less than what I'd budgeted, I think I'll delay the AC a bit longer and use the leftover funds to get her some orchard grass. I just need to decide what cut to get - 1st is best for the teeth, but she might be more inclined to eat 2nd...


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## JBun (Jul 31, 2019)

I think you can just go for which ever cut you think she is more inclined to eat well. It's not necessarily the coarseness of the hay that helps the teeth but the silica content, and the leafy parts seem to contain a lot of it. If you've ever felt fresh orchard grass, the leaves can feel a bit like sandpaper due to the silica in them. So that's what's wearing down the teeth, that rough silica in the grass leaf.


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## Butterscotch (Aug 28, 2019)

I just read in another post that you have 3 bunnies. I thought you had 4. I'm worried about Nala now, is she ok?


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## Imbrium (Sep 2, 2019)

Don't worry, she's fine!! If you're referring to the "bunnies or me" thread, that was a necro'd thread from 2014 - our zoo has grown significantly since then .

Sorry I've been slacking on updating my blog... been busy. Nala had me worried for a while - even after the dental surgery, I never saw her eat all that much and she was still reluctant/slow to eat pellets (wasn't coming running up to eat them like they were crack, but eventually she'd eat some or most). Nearly two weeks later, her appetite still didn't seem back to normal and she didn't seem all that excited about food aside from the occasional bit of "junk food" like craisins. She was still pooping and was maintaining her normal weight. I even bought some of the Sherwood Forest recovery food for her that has probiotics and other good stuff in it, but she wouldn't eat it. I did get her to eat some little biscuits from Oxbow that are for digestive health once a day, though.

One day, I glanced into her cage and her eye looked weird and I swear she looked worried and kind of miserable. I took her out for a closer look and there was a patch of skin above/beside one of her eyes that had no fur on it and the skin looked dry and scaly. I was poking around and trying to figure out what was going on when I saw a FLEA near her eye! Closer inspection revealed a lot of flea poop in the fur on her back . I felt like she most likely scratched too vigorously, causing the severe skin irritation, so I put some neosporin (without pain reliever) on the affected skin and started laying out a plan of attack. Our household has a zero-tolerance policy regarding fleas!

None of the other rabbits seemed to have any fleas (no fleas or poop seen in their white fur), but they're housed near each other so they all need to be treated anyway to guarantee they wouldn't just go from Nala to someone else. The only cat I checked was Chanel because the other four cats (oh yeah, we got a 5th cat last month!) are black and/or dark brown but she's gray and white so they're easy to spot... when I found a flea on her, there was no reason to check the other cats. Both species had fleas so I needed a 2-pronged attack. Thankfully, we have NO carpets - only hard flooring - which makes it much easier to eradicate the infestation. Getting fleas AND eggs/larval stages out of carpet is hell incarnate.

We rushed out to Walmart at like 10 pm in search of flea stuff, but they didn't have the generic versions at the first one we went to so I drug my husband to a second Walmart in hopes of getting Nala some relief. Thankfully, the second one had the generic versions of both Frontline and Advantage II for cats, though it still set us back a whopping $75! Ugh. Got a 6-pack of generic Frontline for the 5 kitties (because it's a good bit cheaper than Advantage) and a 4-pack of generic Advantage for bunnies (_because fipronil, the main ingredient in Frontline, is often fatal to rabbits and should NEVER be used on them_). They even had a "large cat" version of the Advantage that has twice as much per tube, allowing me to use a syringe to measure out doses and get two rabbits with one tube and save the other two tubes in case I need to re-treat.

I have no idea how she got the fleas. Ruby (new kitty) had come home from the shelter maybe a week prior to finding the fleas but shelters give flea treatments to their animals and I had never seen her scratching, so I doubt they came from her. My two primary suspects are a) maybe Nala got them from another animal who was stored near her at the vet or b) we get feral cats, possums and raccoons in our yard; perhaps husband and I picked up a flea or two while tromping across the lawn and unwittingly brought them indoors. Nala seemed to have the worst infestation, though, so probably some rude person brought a flea-ridden animal in for vet work.

Anyway, within 24-48 hours, her eye area was looking MUCH better and there was ZERO flea poop in her fur. She looked a lot brighter and happier in the eyes. The hunch I had about her still-reduced appetite upon finding the fleas was right, too - once her fleas were gone, she started getting excited about food again. She has been 100% back to normal ever since and absolutely destroys her pellets the second I offer them. All four rabbits have been slower to eat the orchard grass than they were 3rd cut timothy, but they do eat it when they get hungry enough and hopefully they'll get more used to it as time goes on.


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## Imbrium (Sep 14, 2019)

So... I have a job working in a call center calling people on the phone in the vain hopes of catching someone with the time and inclination to spend 15 minutes on the phone with a random stranger. I spend most of my day listening to voicemail messages and making origami.

Today, I spent the last three hours of the shift making chickens at the rate of about 20 an hour. I am now headed into Walmart, where I plan to do something weird with them. Why? Because what the hell else am I going to do with 60 something tiny origami chickens?

Here's a picture of one of the chickens. You can't tell by looking at it but if you manipulate it a little bit, it lays a tiny origami egg.




I usually make these cranes that flap their wings when you pull their tail and leave a single one in a dozen or so spots in the store, but the chickens line up so nicely and remind me of the neighbors' flock.

Darn, left the store without realizing 2 of the pics were blurry...







I had on headphones to discourage having to explain myself to passers-by... There was also a guy stocking shelves on that aisle, but thankfully he didn't give a darn.

I thought about putting the chickens by the eggs but settled on the pet section because they have a livestock section at the more rural of the two Walmarts near me... But for some reason suddenly all the sheep, goat, chicken and horse stuff is suddenly gone and all that was in the "livestock" section is small animal stuff. Anyway, here's hoping my tedious day at work provide some Walmart customer or two with amusement.


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## Imbrium (Sep 15, 2019)

On a side note... raise your hand if you've ever put a bunch of rabbits in your bed and just rolled around in a pile of them! Why have I never done that with more than two rabbits at a time before??


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## A & B (Sep 15, 2019)

Imbrium said:


> On a side note... raise your hand if you've ever put a bunch of rabbits in your bed and just rolled around in a pile of them! Why have I never done that with more than two rabbits at a time before??


Sounds like fun. Last night I tried giving both bunnies snuggles on my bed (at separate times of course) and Bugs can't sit still or behave for longer than 5 seconds. He thinks it's fun to play in my hair (which is fine because he's keeping himself entertained) but out of no where he'll start digging at my face. I'm sure I sound crazy when I explain that it was my rabbit that scratched me all down my face lol.


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## Imbrium (Sep 16, 2019)

A rabbit we had years ago, Norman, would nibble my eyelids and earlobes if he had access to me while I was sleeping. Ridiculous!

Seriously, though, wrapping your arms around 3-4 rabbits at once and burying your face in them all and giggling is better than any anti-anxiety medication! Zoning out to the sight and sound of a rabbit munching leafy greens is such a stress-reliever, too. If I wasn't too lazy, I'd get the bunnies certified as ESA's (emotional support animals) because they help SO much!


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## Imbrium (Sep 18, 2019)

Ugh. Margie, the co-worker who sits in the halficle (tiny partial cubicle) across from me in the call center, got sick with a cold or sinus infection last weekend... I love her to pieces, but darn it, I hate getting sick! Starting Sat (first day she came in sick) I've been taking 3000 mg of vitamin C twice a day and also I've been taking these echinacea/goldenseal pills... but about 24h ago, I realized I had failed to thwart said illness >.>

This is a really busy work week and there's a pay incentive for working extra days without ever being late or calling in (first time they've done that in the nearly 6 mos I've worked there), so of course I went in today anyway and will continue to do so all week. On the plus side, we did a good enough job that we finished work 45 mins early today. I came home from work and drank cough syrup and silver tequila until I didn't feel like **** anymore, lol.

Tomorrow, a tropical storm's supposed to be hitting nearby so it looks like we're in for rain. The one upside is that I was thinking all day it was Monday and it's totally Tuesday, lol... which means only two more days until I can have a day off (though I work the next 3 days after that as well and the Saturday shift starts at 10 am instead of the usual 3-4 pm). My MIL thinks I probably won't work tomorrow (and her husband is the one who referred me to my current job)... but I really doubt that's the case. The areas we've been calling won't be affected by the storm, so as long as we've got electricity in the call center then I assume we'll be working. Hours are hours, though, so I can't complain too much!

@Alyssa and Bugs♡ By the way, I swear I'm working on getting caught up on your blog!  I'm about 3 pages behind and waiting until I have the time and inclination to plow through/comment on all three pages at once, lol.


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## A & B (Sep 18, 2019)

I hope you feel better soon! Being sick sucks and I'm sure the storm coming won't help. If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious as to what your job is. 

Don't worry about catching up on my blog. Besides temporary taking in a 3rd, it hasn't been too exciting.


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## Imbrium (Sep 18, 2019)

I work for a company that does surveys over the phone (political polls and stuff about legislative proposals that might be on a ballot soon, mostly). The job can be awesome or awful depending on the survey and whether people are amenable to doing one that day... But my boss and co-workers are great, which helps a lot.

If you ever get a phone call from "Alice" at Promark Research... That's probably me, lol (unless there's an Alice at one of our other two locations). I use Alice because it's shorter than Jennifer... And also because Alice is so adorable, who could say no to that little lop face?


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## A & B (Sep 18, 2019)

I feel it would suck to have that job because there are those people who are incredibly rude when answering calls like that. There was this one company in particular who wouldn't stop calling me while I was in class a few weeks ago so I stepped into the hall to answer it and it turns out they really wanted me to try out their new car insurance plan. I don't even have a car, lol.

I love that you go by Alice at work. It would be an interesting conversation if you happened to call my phone (which isn't likely at all because with the way the country views teenager's opinions on things like that although, we can be incredibly opinionated).


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## Imbrium (Sep 18, 2019)

I used to pick up the phone, say (or scream) "---- off" and hang up when I got woken up by an unsolicited call at like 9 or 10 am after going to sleep around 6 am... So I've been the rude person on the other end, lol.

Unless we're redialing excessively because we have a very limited pool of numbers to work with, it's not too bad. Most people hang up during your intro without a word. Often when someone is rude, they inadvertently provide comedic fodder and we mock them amongst ourselves. "Do you know what day it is, Alice??" like I maybe have no clue it's Sunday. Or "why did you call me when I'm ________??" like we're able to see where they are and what they're doing before we dial.

Every once in a while you get the total opposite - someone so polite they actually ask "is it ok if I don't want to do the survey?" which I find super cute. Of course it's ok. I have no recourse if someone doesn't want to talk to me, lol, and anyway you're totally doing me a favor if you take time out of your day to do the survey. The odds of cold-calling someone and catching them when they're in a good mood and not busy are pretty low (average is 1-2% of dials resulting in a complete for cell phones).

It's the people who say yes that make the job fun. Sometimes you get a really funny respondent. Asking people their opinion about Trump is usually pretty fun because people have SUCH strong opinions about him. One lady the other day said (when I asked if she approved or disapproved of Trump) "I'd kill him myself if I didn't think God would smite me down." AOC gets similarly strong responses.

It's very important that we never share our own political beliefs with respondents or explicitly agree or disagree with their opinions... But you can laugh and say vague things like "oh, I hear ya" that insinuate camaraderie.

I'm an independent and my political views are aggressively moderate... plus I think there are some batshit crazy politicians on both sides of the aisle... so no matter what someone's political views are, I always have some common ground with them. I can laugh at Republicans with a Democrat and laugh at Democrats with a Republican because they're both right about some people on the other side having lost their freaking minds.


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## A & B (Sep 18, 2019)

Some people will instantly hang up if it sounds a bit too much like a robot (which I 100% get, talking to a robot is incredibly frustrating). In my english class last year, if someone were to get a call from a random number they'd answer it and say something incredibly random/slightly inappropriate which the person trying to do their job probably didn't see coming or deserve.


Imbrium said:


> One lady the other day said (when I asked if she approved or disapproved of Trump) "I'd kill him myself if I didn't think God would smite me down."


 I love people like this. I bet you get some pretty interesting responses when you ask that question. He's a very controversial person. I do, however, really like the ban he's placing on flavored vaping products currently. I know of many 14-18-year-olds who use these products daily (especially in the school bathrooms) and I can't imagine what it's doing to their lungs. There are so many beautiful accessories for the Juuls that a quick google search would make anyone want to try it. I think that the main issue is that it's so easy for teens to get ahold of one in the first place. I'd really like an adult perspective on this though: do you think it's fair to the adults when/if these flavors are banned?

I think that the elections have become more of a "make the other candidates look as bad as possible" versus them actually trying to win by sharing their plans.

I don't know if posting this is crossing the line and if it is I'm very sorry.


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## Imbrium (Sep 19, 2019)

Well, it's my blog and I don't think it's crossing the line... So hopefully that suffices.

I had a guy one time repeatedly make me jump through hoops as he tested to make sure I was not a robot. I feel like he's very misinformed about how sophisticated AI is these days, given the depth to which I was tested. However, it's quite common for people to interrupt during your introduction and many times I feel like they've done it just to see if I react... so I make a point to acknowledge the interruption.

I'm an adult who started smoking at 16 and didn't quit until I was 33. On the one hand, I know firsthand that if kids want cigarettes, they find a way to get them... And also that, while still far from healthy, e-cigs are still better than regular cigarettes. That said, I can very easily see from the perspective of people who worry that e-cigs glorify smoking and make it seem more accessible to teens. It's a very challenging and nuanced line to try to walk... On the one hand, I certainly wouldn't want legislation that discouraged existing adult smokers from transitioning to something that's technically less unhealthy... but on the other hand, you don't want to make it easier for kids to become smokers in the first place.

Overall, if pushed to take a side, I would rather see adult smokers take the hit then see more teens pick up the habit... if for no reason other than that discouraging teens from picking up the habit means there's less adults to lure away from cigarettes in the future.

It's definitely kind of annoying to the adult smoker that they can't take a puff from an e-cigarette indoors even though all it gives off when you exhale is water vapor... but I'm willing to tell my husband to suck it up and vape outside now that it's been brought to my attention (by a survey I administered once) that the laws against smoking an e-cigarette inside came about because of people trying to address the teen epidemic.


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## Imbrium (Sep 21, 2019)

Normal work hours for me are 4 pm - 12 am Mon-Thurs and 2 pm - 11 pm on Sun (no shift on Friday)... but the optional Saturday shift is 10 am - 6 pm. 10 am doesn't sound so bad until you realize you have to set your alarm at 8:30 in order to have time to shower, eat breakfast, get ready and make the morning rounds through the menagerie.

9 am this morning, my husband is laying there, loafed out like a happy rabbit. As I walk past the bed to tend to the birds, he opens his eyes to look at me and - with a huge grin on his face - sings me this song lyric about having a kingsize all to himself. Naturally, I called him a son of a bitch and we burst out laughing.

On a side note, Harley Quinn is in the doghouse for *eating Barnaby's whiskers right off his face!!*


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## A & B (Sep 21, 2019)

I agree 100% that if we want something, we find a way to get it. I could easily get my hands on a vape/pack of cigarettes/anything else I wanted without my parents knowing anything. I had no idea that it was illegal to smoke an e-cig indoors. They do definitely glorify smoking. You don't get that cigarette smell and they look nice.

I just want to say that you and your husband's relationship seems amazing. He shares your love of bunnies and you can affectionally call him a son of a bitch? Perfect.


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## Imbrium (Sep 22, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I just want to say that you and your husband's relationship seems amazing. He shares your love of bunnies and you can affectionally call him a son of a bitch? Perfect.



He drives me absolutely insane sometimes, but I wouldn't trade him for the world! We've been through hell and back (especially leading up to his diagnosis of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia last spring when he had to be hospitalized twice, among other turmoils we've faced (like living in a semi-haunted apartment for 3 years and being really poor)) but we always come out stronger for it. We have plenty of ups and downs, but always together.

The best advice I can give to someone your age is this: marry your best friend. We were best friends (online) for three years before we even met in person or started a romantic relationship and we've been married for over 6 years. As long as you love each other unconditionally, you can get through anything and you can always find a way to reconnect when life tries to pull you apart. Also, have no secrets and no shame (at least with each other). If you've seen each other at your absolute WORSTS and are still totally in love, even the unknown doesn't seem so scary . Being able to be 100% yourself with the person you love the most = win.


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## A & B (Sep 24, 2019)

You two really have been through hell and back. Reading that first part made me sad but I'm happy to hear you two always come out on top. Many couples don't unfortunately.

I can't wait to meet the one someday. I was talking to this guy and I liked whatever we had going on (okay, who am I kidding, he liked Bugs and Evie and that's very important to me) but he started to ask me very personal and inappropriate questions and it made me very uncomfortable. I felt like I couldn't trust him because of some things I've been told about him (that he has multiple girlfriends at once, only wants one thing and that one thing definitely isn't what I want) and I don't like secrets. He gave me a love letter today (so middle school, lol) and in it, he said he loves me and that I'm the highlight of his day, among other things. We've known each other for two weeks, you can't fall in love with someone in two weeks. The idea of someone that isn't family loving me seems so foreign. I don't even love myself.

I really struggle with being myself around everyone. It's part of the reason why I love RO so much. I'm surrounded by my kind of people and you don't have to hear me stutter every other word  although most of everything I post on here is all over the place and has more grammatical errors than I can count on one hand, which is weird because I'm the grammar police at school. I love spending time with Bugs and Evie because I know for sure they aren't judging.


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## Imbrium (Sep 26, 2019)

Well, love and infatuation can be easily confused. Coming on so strong so fast does strike me as a red flag... either he's just trying to get in your pants or he's got some warped/unhealthy expectations of romantic relationships would be my guess. Some guys fall for a girl and put her on a pedestal; they're convinced she's their everything... that's impossible to live up to in the long run (and it's not at all fun to be on said pedestal if you're not the attention-loving type). If it makes you feel any better, NO ONE knows what they're doing when it comes to love and relationships at your age - the ones who seem to are simply better at faking it .

I NEVER fit in at school. Overweight, smarter than everyone and a year younger to boot, always had my nose in a book and I had no desire to even try fitting in with the popular kids because in my experience, they were annoying jerks and my books were better company. I did what I wanted and if people didn't like me for who I was, that was their problem. Don't get me wrong, teasing and bullying still hurt like hell... but for some reason I never considered changing myself to try to stop it. I almost always had one best friend who was also a bit of a black sheep and who I could totally trust, though... for me, that was enough. I'm shy unless I really know people and feel comfortable in my surroundings (like I do here) and not big on groups.

I remember in high school, they had the "PAL" program... forget what it stands for, but their job was basically to make lonely kids feel better or something like that? I dunno. The way lunch worked at my school is it was during third period - some kids went to lunch, then class. Some went to class, then lunch. Some went to half of class, then lunch, then the other half... except every once in a while the teacher would have us take a different lunch if they didn't want it interrupting the lesson plan. More than once, I was eating by myself because lunch time was changed and my friends ate at my normal lunch time, so I'd bring a book and be happily reading and eating lunch by myself... only to be rudely interrupted by someone who thought I looked "lonely" and wanted to pretend to be "friends" so I wouldn't have to eat alone. There's no polite way of saying things like "if I wanted to talk, I wouldn't be reading a book" or "please take your pity small-talk somewhere else." The PAL kids were terribad at taking hints to bugger off, like one word responses and very generic answers.

Freshman year of college was a HUGE eye-opener for me. I went to a small liberal arts college that had about as many students total as were in just my own grade in high school (around 1200, iirc). I lived in the best dorm on campus, hands-down. It was the only co-ed dorm, located next to the two boys' dorms on one side of campus; there were three girls' dorms on the other side. The name of my dorm? Couch. It was inhabited by weirdos and outcasts - most of the gay/lesbian students were there, the oddballs, the misfits, the stoners... basically, all the best people who were more abnormal than normal . I actually had friends and hung out in the lobbies and in front of the dorm with groups of people.

Suddenly people liked me for the exact same reasons that kids in K-12 picked on me! I could do what I want and not feel constantly judged. For example, whenever I knew it was going to be a long/stressful day (tests and such, usually), I'd wear this pair of calico cat ears to class because they cheered me up and I felt that anyone who wanted to judge me for that could suck it (a lot of people stopped to tell me they were awesome). The boyfriend I ended up losing my virginity to confessed to me months after the fact that the moment he fell for me was when he was sitting in one of the lobbies and commenting to friends that he could totally see himself with the kind of girl who would wear cat ears for no reason... and right after he said that, I happened to walk past in my cat ears. Pretty trippy timing, lol.

Bottom line is that K-12 sucks. Kids suck. Bullies suck. Everyone is dysfunctional in one way or another and the social hierarchy is completely ass-backwards. All you can really do is find a friend or two who can make all the BS tolerable.

You really should work on trying to love yourself, though. It's nearly impossible to be in a healthy relationship otherwise - it's tough to be happy with another person if you can't be happy on your own. You'll always be wondering what they see in you and second-guessing yourself and probably end up sabotaging the relationship as a result, you know?

I've gotta say, from talking to you over the months, I think one of your big problems is the same as what mine always was when I was younger - being an old soul trapped in a young body! To put it in today's politically correct terms, I "self-identify" as being about 10 years older than my biological age . What I'm getting at is that you're awesome the way you are but everyone around you needs to grow up before they realize that being unique is actually better than being cookie-cutter. I'd rather four years of misery followed by a lifetime of healthy friendships and relationships than to spend decades looking back on high school as the best years of my life. Trust me, you're smart, friendly, mature, heart-felt and honest, helpful, funny and you love the bunniehs. You're like the little sister I never had. Anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are isn't worth knowing.


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## A & B (Sep 27, 2019)

I'm like 95% sure he just wanted in my pants. He said on multiple different occasions that I seemed easy (which I am definitely not, I have lots of self-respect when it comes to things like that). Why else would he want with a girl a year and a half younger than he is when there are girls his age that would gladly date him? I told him earlier today that I can't keep getting lied to so I asked him to delete my number and never text me again. I've never had a boyfriend and I'm scared that when I finally get a boyfriend, I'll have no idea about how to be a good girlfriend. My mom and step-dad aren't exactly the greatest examples.

I've always found myself in these toxic friendships that make me scared to even try making new friends. I had a friend that told me she'd kill herself if I ever stopped being friends with her. She also tried to make me lesbian for her because she couldn't get a boyfriend. She tried to kiss me multiple times but I always pulled away which upset her. I didn't want her to die so I suffered through the friendship for 2 horrible years. In those two years, I self-harmed almost daily in many different ways, I starved myself, and I even told myself I'd be dead by April. I mean it when I say that Bugs is the only reason I'm still here. I wanted to make it to his first birthday in mid-April and I did. He gave me something to keep living for. I woke up on his birthday (which also happened to be Easter) and I felt like a different person. Something changed and I threw all of my self-harm supplies away. I realized that even though most people didn't care if I died, Bugs would. My family wouldn't keep him because they wouldn't know how to take care of him. I didn't want that for him. I tried getting help (which was unsuccessful, my mom couldn't accept that I wasn't the happy person she thought I was. I don't blame her though, I did an amazing job at hiding everything). That thread I posted in February about how I wasn't happy that you probably don't remember? That thread saved me. It showed me that I was wanted and that I'll always have you guys and I'll forever be grateful for that. I reread that every time I'm having a bad day. I dropped that friend after April and I feel so much lighter. That manipulative bitch is someone else's problem now.

I was made fun of last year for my rabbit obsession. I hate starting conversations but I found it easy to talk about bunnies so whenever I felt uncomfortable I brought them up. I would do it without thinking and it got on everyone's nerves. They'd say "look at the crazy bunny lady" whenever I walked into class and it's not about what they said because I'm 100% a (proud) crazy bunny lady but they'd say it in such a bitchy tone and then laugh with their friends about it. I was suspended last year for fighting after a girl was constantly running her mouth and that didn't help me. If I'd get annoyed, they'd say things like "ooh, bunny lady's gonna hit us too" **** right I am. You wearing cat ears is almost enough to inspire me to wear my bunny shirt 

I feel incredibly older than I am. I can't stand being friends with most people my age because there's so much drama. My teachers and I are all friends lol.



Imbrium said:


> Trust me, you're smart, friendly, mature, heart-felt and honest, helpful, funny and you love the bunniehs. You're like the little sister I never had. Anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are isn't worth knowing.


Thank you. This made my morning. It makes me so happy that you consider me a sister! I'm the oldest so I don't have anyone at home to look up to. We have much more in common than I realized, I'm a complete book nerd also and we both cherish the bunniehs. I really appreciate you.


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## Imbrium (Sep 28, 2019)

Wow, you've been through a lot. I remember that thread from back in February, I'm sure I recall posting in it. I'm sorry to hear about the toxic friend you had; so glad you got rid of her and found Bugs! Reminds me of the start of sophomore year of college when my roommate (same one as freshman year) announced that over the summer, she had dumped her boyfriend and gotten rats - we both agreed that she had upgraded . Oh, and I was also friends with my teachers (and my mom's friends).

Getting someone toxic like that friend out of your life can be really hard when you're a kind-hearted and empathetic individual who hates letting people down. I struggled for a long time with my decision to cut my grandmother out of my life, but she had a truly toxic personality (due, I believe, to undiagnosed borderline personality disorder that caused her to be emotionally 13 and have an insane sibling rivalry thing going on with me). My mom trained me that the only way to win a fight with her was to walk away... but the problem was that she would chase you, screaming and ranting and doing her best to provoke you back into the fight. While my mom was alive, she ran interference for me and got in-between us so that I could make my escape... but after she died, her little sister didn't understand that I needed someone's help to escape those one-sided fights. I finally had to tell myself that, family or not, my grandmother had been systematically destroying my self-esteem for almost my entire life and that it just wasn't worth dealing with her if I didn't have at least one person I could count on to take my side and peel her off me when she got neurotic.

Anyway, I find that I talk about our animals a lot, too, for the same reason as you - they're easy to talk about and provide hilarious stories. I've had people think I was weird for talking about them so much... but that's just who I am, so if they don't like it then I feel like that's their problem. I have two really good friends at my job. One is Jackie, who is 78 and a total spit-fire. She's hilarious and really sweet; she's my best friend after my husband. The other good friend is also named Jennifer (early 40s, iirc, so maybe 8 years older than me?) and she's a crazy cat lady too, so we're always talking about cats and rabbits at work! Finding the one friend who really wants to hear your bunny stories makes everything worth it.

I graduated high school at 17; starting with the friends I made working at IHOP that summer followed by the friends I met in college is when I started to truly embrace my cynical confidence - the idea that people I met had two choices; either like me for who I am or bugger off. Seriously, other people suck (most of the time). I remember my mom freaking out when I was 15 or 16 because I made some off-hand comment about how I hate people (she thought it was a red flag or something), but seriously, a lot of people are NOT worth the breath used to talk to them and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can focus on finding those people who ARE worth your time. For me, that's my husband, his family, my co-workers and you guys here on RO. I mean, I'm nice and polite to strangers, but I have pretty low expectations so that I'm not disappointed if they turn out to be dumbasses or jerks, you know? I'd rather be pleasantly surprised when someone exceeds expectations and is totally worth befriending. I'm not mean, but I'm skeptical.

You'll really be on your way to being well-adjusted if you can wrap your head around the idea that bullies should be pitied. It sucks to be them *so much* that the only way they can cope with it is to try to make you feel as bad as they do on the inside. A lot of kids who are bullies have terrible home-lives and parents who have no business raising a child. If you can muster up the nuts to screw with their heads, try responses like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "*shrug* I wouldn't like bunnies as much if they weren't so much cooler than you." Bullies expect you to either lash out back at them or run away from the fight they're trying to pick. They're rarely equipped to handle smart-ass comments designed to reboot and derail them. Do your best to avoid becoming emotional. Be calm, collected and clever - they'll never see it coming! Sarcasm is a wonderful coping tool. It's the equivalent of high-quality trolling on the internet (not to be confused with your run-of-the-mill pathetic trolls). Trolling bullies makes me happy .


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## Imbrium (Sep 28, 2019)

I forgot to include my advice on being a good girlfriend...

Love someone unconditionally for who they are and expect the same in return. Don't try to change them and don't let them change you. Don't be afraid to risk your heart... or to ask for what you want/need. Be considerate. Be willing to compromise. Don't be domineering but don't be a doormat. When you feel hurt try to talk about it instead of pulling away (a bad habit my husband helped me break). Don't get pushed into something you're truly not ready for (like sex), yet be willing to let them nudge you to try new things (non-sex stuff that's a little bit outside your comfort zone).

When it comes to sex, know that you give a little piece of yourself every time. It's never "just" sex. Whether it's love or friendship, sex is so much better with some sort of emotional connection. If you're not ready, make that clear. Worst case scenario, you might lose a boyfriend... But relationships at your age **** near never last anyway so why compromise yourself for something fleeting? You're going to get your heart broken. You're going to break someone else's. Don't be afraid of that pain. It sucks, but that's part of growing up and it's how you learn what you want in a relationship and learn what you want to offer someone else.


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## A & B (Sep 29, 2019)

You did post in that thread and I don't know why I didn't get to know you before now. Rereading that thread makes me sad. I can't believe the thoughts I used to have. I wish I kept that journal from then, it would be interesting to read through that.

Some grandmother. She truly did act like a child. Did she only act like that towards you? I'm so sorry your mom isn't here anymore. My bio dad died when I was young also. I agree that dropping her was a great choice. Family should never make someone feel worse about themselves, especially not intentionally.

I've been considering starting a Youtube channel because I like talking about bunnies so much lol. It would be an amazing way to meet even more rabbit people! Your co-workers seem like fun people! Most of my co-workers are young moms in their late 20's and we just have nothing in common. 

I prefer to just listen to music instead of talking to people but because my wonderful rabbit son thought it would be fun to eat my earbuds so it's going to be a long day tomorrow. Gotta love being a rabbit mom.

I try to stay calm when people say things but I have a tendency to act before I think. It's something I need to work on for sure though. One of the many bad habits I need to break. 

Your girlfriend advice is very helpful! Basically all the knowledge I had was to not be like Bugs . I'm nervous that I'm going to fall for someone and we're going to have different morals and views on life. I know I don't want sex for a while but every guy my age can't wait for me to undress. My parents think it's important to give guys what they want if I want to keep the guy. I feel like that isn't fair to me. I'll gladly take him to his favorite restaurant/store but sex is a big deal to me. I don't want to necessarily wait until marriage but I don't want to sleep around either.


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## Butterscotch (Oct 19, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> My parents think it's important to give guys what they want if I want to keep the guy.


What? No. NO. Relationships are give and take, true. They require compromise, true. But they are NOT "give a guy what he wants if you want to keep him around". I hope I just misunderstood what your parents meant. Guys should want you for YOU just as you should want him for HIM. I have had men tell me everything I ever wanted to hear, tell me how beautiful and smart and wonderful I am, blah blah blah, only to disappear after getting what they wanted. (Women do this too.) If you are always true to yourself you will eventually find a guy that deserves you. You are worth the wait. You are worth getting to know. You are worth longing for and sacrificing for and soon you will find a guy who is worth all that too. I hope when it comes time for you to make certain choices that you make them because you feel ready and because you want to, not because you're afraid of losing the guy you're currently with. You will lose him eventually anyway when you run out of things to give him to keep him around.


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## A & B (Oct 19, 2019)

Just this week, I lost a chance with a guy I really liked because I told him I'm not ready for sex. Turns out this guy was trying to get into 4 different girls' pants (mine included) and his actual girlfriend is pregnant with his baby. My friends were telling me he had a girlfriend but whenever I brought it up he got mad and swore they were just friends. He led me on so strong and honestly, props to him for being such a good liar. Looking back over that whole month we talked, there were so many red flags that I feel so stupid for not recognizing. He wanted me for sex and help in English class. My class is advanced (which is where we met) so he would sit next to me and copy. We actually slow danced at Homecoming and I found it odd that he said "I missed you during English" after I hadn't talked to him at all the week before because I was suspicious. Not I missed talking to you, I missed you during class. I've already accepted that I'm never going to get a boyfriend. As I sit on my bed and watch Bugs repeatedly push his treat ball in between the corner of my room and a laundry basket then get frustrated because he's struggling to get it out, I'm realizing I'd be totally okay with this lifestyle. My bedroom alone would scare any guy away, lol. In 15-20 years when I decide I want a kid, there's always adoption or sperm donors.

On another note, you've been kind of absent from the forum lately. It's nice to see you back! It may be time for an update on your blog


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## Butterscotch (Oct 19, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> Just this week, I lost a chance with a guy I really liked because I told him I'm not ready for sex.
> 
> I've already accepted that I'm never going to get a boyfriend.



You didn't miss a chance with a guy you really liked, you dodged a bullet. Good for you!!

You're 14? I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 16. I was living with a guy at 18. You have plenty of time. I had a hard time in high school when I was finally allowed to date. My first real boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn't smoke weed with him. He was so nice about it, and very honest and I absolutely respect him for that. He said that's how he liked to relax and he wanted to be with someone who shared that desire with him. Today he is married and they live happily ever after in their pot cloud. My point is, be honest with yourself and your partners and eventually you will find one that matches your personality and desires, and you his, and you will compliment each other. You are so young and you have so much time. Have some fun along the way but be smart about it, you will eventually find the guy that stirs those butterflies within you. Lots of guys love animals and personally I don't trust any guys that don't.


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## A & B (Oct 20, 2019)

My parents haven't given my siblings a specific age other than we have to be in high school and they have to feel we're ready. It's been hard for my parents to accept that I'm not a little kid anymore and that I'm going to do some pretty adult things over the next few years. I have a job where I work around 16 hours a week at and I just got a car!!! Good job on not getting talked into smoking when you didn't want to! I think that I have too high and unrealistic expectations about the guy I'm going to end up with and I've been thinking too hard about it. Kids from my school have been telling my best guy friend that he should ask me out and I think that I may be okay with that. I never in a million years pictured myself with him but he makes me laugh when I'm mad and we have too many inside jokes that if anyone ever found out about, we'd be in trouble lol. We're actually texting now about it and as we're talking about life, he says something about our Earth and Space Science teacher and we completely forgot about what we were talking about in the first place. He also doesn't treat me like an object like most guys. If I had a penny for every time someone has called me baby or made sexual comments towards me, I'd be rich. If a guy doesn't like animals we can't be together. Ever. I believe I read something a while back about this woman who had the sweetest dogs ever but they were incredibly aggressive towards her boyfriend. Turns out, he had an interesting past.


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## Imbrium (Oct 29, 2019)

It's 4 am so I'm gonna do a drive-by for now, but I'll circle back around to the girl chat sooner or later! It's fun getting to share advice since I was an only child and my daughter (who my Aunt Laura is raising in another state, fwiw) only just turned four on October 4th. @Butterscotch has given some badass advice in my absence, though .

When I've got more time (and hubby is awake to laugh with me), I definitely want to check out more videos from this cat sanctuary! I was doing the microsoft rewards points BS for free x-box whatnots and the daily poll question was would you rather see a lion or a wolf eating a pumpkin. I picked lion and was fascinated with the correlating search results. I thought it was weird to see a cat eat a craisin, green bean or tomato... I never even considered that a jungle cat might eat a pumpkin! A couple clicks later, here I was (it gets especially good around the 3 minute mark):



Also, if your best guy friend asks you out, I say go for it! I've honest-to-god never so much as gone out on one date in my entire life with a guy that I wasn't already pretty good friends with. It's so much better that way, if you ask me. I couldn't even begin to explain the thousands of bizarre inside jokes my husband and I have... and it's always funny when they leak out around people who only know me and not him (like at work or on RO). Like earlier tonight when I used the word "demandsing," which hubby and I concluded was somehow so much more evocative than just "demanding" when describing cat and rabbit behavior (like when they're sharking your food and such).

Honestly, you'll fall in and out of love many times in your life. You'll get your heart broken and break some hearts. Every time you share your true self with someone, be it a best friend or a boyfriend or a bunny, you give a little piece of yourself to that person/bunn that you'll never get back and you get a little piece of them in exchange. The important thing is to make sure that's a fair trade . I have fond memories from friendships and relationships that are long-since in the past and I don't regret any of them.


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## Imbrium (Oct 29, 2019)

Short but cute, with great faces (though I admit I was disappointed that the water balloons weren't more explosive when popped - I thought I might get a glance at the sort of reaction I didn't get to see when Alice chewed through the water line on the back of a toilet and got a snout full of water):

I laughed so hard at the "what the heck just happened" face when the first balloon popped!

And this one is long but worth it! I watched it 3-4 years ago and then lost the open (and unbookmarked) tab along with many others in a husband-related Firefox snafu (which is a big part of why I make him use a different primary browser than me now!). That was back in our first apartment together, when we only had two cats (one of which was 17 and lazy, the other of which we honestly thought might be schizophrenic and who was outside half the time). Now, we've got FIVE cats, the oldest of which is only 3, plus three of her kids (2 years old) and... I don't even know how to describe Ruby (also 2)... imagine the most adorable demon ever. Suffice it to say, this video suddenly seems like a snapshot of our lives! In the time between the first time I saw this and now, I've personally witnessed similar or identical scenarios to SO many of the clips.

There are multiple ones of two black cats screwing around, wrassling, slamming into stuff and generally causing a hilarious ruckus. Those in particular are far too familiar to me! Ever since we got Ruby a couple months ago, she and Donatello have been bonkers together.


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## A & B (Oct 29, 2019)

I've spent the last 5 minutes reading that first bit over and over again. You have a daughter?! I'm curious to know the story because I swear you've said you don't have kids. I'm so confused, lol. You obviously don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. There's probably a reason you haven't mentioned it until now.

I told my mom about him (us?) last night and she sent me a message during first period saying "good luck at school today ". Sometimes she hates the idea of me dating and sometimes she tells me to go for it. She confuses me just as much as I confuse her. The guy is someone I've known since Preschool and my mom knows who he is. Last night I realized I've never mentioned Bugs and Evie to him so today I casually brought them up and he seemed to like the idea of them. That is until he sees my bedroom. Our teacher (who is a very chill person) was talking about how her cats hang from her curtains and I said "my rabbits think it's fun to pee on my bed after I clip their nails" and they both thought it was funny. My friend said that he still pees the bed so the buns shouldn't be ashamed. He was obviously kidding but it made me laugh. I believe I mentioned that I danced with the liar at homecoming to you guys (if not I meant to) and I told my guy friend about it. He would tease me about it because it hurt his feelings and I had no idea. At that point we still were strictly friends and I didn't know he liked me and I wouldn't have brought it up if I knew. Heck, I wouldn't have done it in the first place if I had known. Anyway, my friend and I watched those videos during class and we both enjoyed them. Thank you for sharing! 

I have no idea where to even begin on being a girlfriend though. Like what do I even do? I'm not traditional at all and if we're going on a date, I'm going to pay just as often as he is. He did buy me hot chocolate from the school coffee shop today out of nowhere so I'll do something in return.

I'm seriously considering getting a Munchkin cat. My mom's always wanted one so she might go for it. My parents probably won't say yes because we already have a cat though. It's technically my sister's cat which is why I never talk about him. My parents are considering finishing our basement and letting me move down there because I'll have more room and there won't be hay upstairs (which drives my mom's OCD nuts and I've tried almost everything I can to keep it contained). If I do I'm getting a cat of my own. My sister's cat doesn't get along with other cats so it would have to stay in my room and I'm not comfortable with a cat around the rabbits all the time. Bugs would like a cat (he likes any animal that isn't another rabbit) but Evie's too skittish for that. Either that or she's aggressive. She's pretty unpredictable and acts a lot like me 

I think I'm slowly turning into a rabbit. Bugs knows that when my alarm goes off it's time for breakfast and me hitting the snooze button is worst case scenario to him so he does everything to keep me from falling back asleep. When my alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, I pressed snooze and tried to go back to sleep because I spent way too long scrolling through the forum last night. Within two seconds of my head hitting the pillow he jumped directly on my face. Instead of my usual "Damnit Bugs, 5 more minutes please", I freaking grunted. Not in a "ow that hurt" way, I grunted like a rabbit telling another rabbit to go away. It worked but by then there was no way I was falling asleep again.

On an unrelated note, I woke up to snow today. I'm taking my youngest sister trick or treating Thursday but now I have to rethink my costume because I didn't think it would snow until after this week. It was only a couple of inches but it's supposed to snow tonight, tomorrow night, and the night after that. I can't wait to move out of Iowa.


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## Imbrium (Oct 30, 2019)

ATTN: Everyone who reads this blog...

Nala and I demand your participation in our new thread. I spent more time than I care to admit coming up with buttloads of wall-of-shame submissions. You people had better come one-up me on cuteness or die trying .


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## Lauren Kiernan (Oct 30, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I've spent the last 5 minutes reading that first bit over and over again. You have a daughter?! I'm curious to know the story because I swear you've said you don't have kids. I'm so confused, lol. You obviously don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. There's probably a reason you haven't mentioned it until now.
> 
> I told my mom about him (us?) last night and she sent me a message during first period saying "good luck at school today ". Sometimes she hates the idea of me dating and sometimes she tells me to go for it. She confuses me just as much as I confuse her. The guy is someone I've known since Preschool and my mom knows who he is. Last night I realized I've never mentioned Bugs and Evie to him so today I casually brought them up and he seemed to like the idea of them. That is until he sees my bedroom. Our teacher (who is a very chill person) was talking about how her cats hang from her curtains and I said "my rabbits think it's fun to pee on my bed after I clip their nails" and they both thought it was funny. My friend said that he still pees the bed so the buns shouldn't be ashamed. He was obviously kidding but it made me laugh. I believe I mentioned that I danced with the liar at homecoming to you guys (if not I meant to) and I told my guy friend about it. He would tease me about it because it hurt his feelings and I had no idea. At that point we still were strictly friends and I didn't know he liked me and I wouldn't have brought it up if I knew. Heck, I wouldn't have done it in the first place if I had known. Anyway, my friend and I watched those videos during class and we both enjoyed them. Thank you for sharing!
> 
> ...


I have 2 daughters now in their early 20' s. One has a boy friend, one does not. I have always emphasized to them that they do not need a boy to be complete. Be happy with you, hold yourself in high esteem and do not accept or make excuses for bad treatment. All women deserve respect. No boyfriend is better than a bad boyfriend. If the boy really likes you, then he likes the way you already are so be yourself. You sound like a smart, hardworking and thoughtful young lady. Your parents should be proud!


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## Imbrium (Oct 31, 2019)

Hiccups suck. Usually it's me that gets them from eating too fast or standing up too fast after laying down... but right now, hubby has them and they refuse to go away. Poor hubby! Alice is trying to help. When hiccups are violent and persistent, that's the worst!


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## A & B (Nov 2, 2019)

He asked me out Tuesday and we've been dating since then! Thank you guys so much for encouraging me! At first, I was convinced I was making a mistake but now it feels so right. He's definitely someone I could fall in love with. I showed him a picture of Bugs and Evie and he tried to convince me they're cats. To each their own I guess. His name is Nick btw, that's what I'll be referring to him as. It pisses my stepdad off when I call him my boyfriend instead of Nick for some reason. He's been being kind of a dick to me since we started dating even he knew he was going to ask me out. He's been dropping hurtful comments that I hope he's kidding about. Thursday was a rough day mentally and as a result, I didn't eat anything so Friday morning I was pretty nauseous and he asked my mom if I was pregnant. He asked my mom instead of me like I can't speak for myself. That's not even possible in the first place. Anyway, my mom really wants to meet him and because I finally have a day off from both school and work next weekend she gets to meet him then. I feel oddly comfortable with Nick and I never feel like that around anyone. Hell, I've known you guys on the forum longer than we've talked and I'm so scared I'm going to say the wrong thing and everyone on here is going to hate me. I'm working a 4-7 tomorrow and I have to take Snowball to his new foster mommy so I have to have him and I ready by 11 am which is why Nick has to wait until next weekend. I can't wait for our inside jokes, lol. He seems to understand girls well and doesn't bring up any of my many insecurities. He did call me crazy yesterday but if anything I found it funny. One of our friends was outside the classroom so I waved at him but when Nick looked up our friend wasn't there. His exact words were "Some guys have ugly girlfriends but not me. Mine is so crazy she waves at people that aren't even there." If he knew half the stuff that went through my head not only would he break up with me, he'd run.


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## Imbrium (Nov 3, 2019)

I got so excited when I saw you mention 'boyfriend' in another thread recently! I just didn't have time to come over here and 'squee!!' about it 'cause hubby was waiting for me to get off RO and play video games with him, lol. I'm so happy for you . Sorry your stepdad is being such an intractable buttmunch about it all. It sounds like he's got some serious psychological issues that he's currently taking out on you.

On a side note, I woke up early and looked at my phone to see what time it was... just before 2 pm, I decided to close my eyes and take a nap until my 3 pm alarm went off (on a different phone that's out of service and whose sole reason for existing is to be my alarm clock). I felt like I had - literally - closed my eyes for just a minute or two when the alarm went off. I used the phone that I set the alarm on to check the time as I got ready for work, too. Around 3:40 I went to the kitchen, threw some leftover spaghetti in a tupperware for my "lunch" and headed towards my MIL's car because we were planning to leave at 3:45. Fed turtle on the way, then got to her car, took out my real phone... and it's freaking 2:44 because the alarm clock phone didn't update for DST! Bleh. But... now I have time to catch up over here.



Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I have no idea where to even begin on being a girlfriend though. Like what do I even do? I'm not traditional at all and if we're going on a date, I'm going to pay just as often as he is. He did buy me hot chocolate from the school coffee shop today out of nowhere so I'll do something in return.



If you're doing both of them right, being a good girlfriend is pretty much the same as being a good best friend, except you also make out (well, and other stuff when you're older, of course ). Honesty is a good policy... talk to him about the fact that you've never been a 'girlfriend' before and you're nervous about it - I'm sure he's nervous, too! Take things slowly and tell him if something's really bothering you or if you're freaking out about something. It's better to get it out in the open than to have him driving himself crazy trying to figure out what's going on.



Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I've spent the last 5 minutes reading that first bit over and over again. You have a daughter?! I'm curious to know the story because I swear you've said you don't have kids. I'm so confused, lol. You obviously don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. There's probably a reason you haven't mentioned it until now.



Her name is Fiona... she turned 4 on October 4th. It was unplanned and neither one of us has ever had any desire to raise a kid (in fact, we laughed about it together 9 years ago when we were first becoming friends and made fun of "breeders," etc.). For me, it's fear of passing on bad genetics (parents dying at 49/52 years old and family history of HBP, diabetes, obesity, mental illness, etc.) and the fact that, while I love nurturing and having someone to take care of, I also need to be able to take breaks from it, which parents can't do. Also, I don't even have my own **** together and struggle with depression, OCD, etc. and physical health issues. Right before Fiona was born, Jay's mental health was a constant, daily issue for us (looking back, he was clearly having a schizophrenic break but managed to convince me that he wasn't, heh - there was some weird paranormal **** going on in that apartment, which made it very hard to tell what problems were just in his head and which were caused by outside influences). Also, we were pretty much broke. So, Fiona is being raised by my Aunt Laura (middle sister to my mom (oldest) and my Aunt Teresa) in Kentucky. We only get to see her like once a year, but she's doing great and my aunt is an amazing mom, every bit as good as mine was.

I don't really talk about it because I feel embarrassed... unplanned pregnancies where a mom or other relative ends up raising your kid for you is something that happens to teenagers, you know? Usually when someone in their 30s has a baby they didn't plan on, they just raise it. But managing someone with schizoaffective disorder is arguably as challenging as being a parent, especially when that person is also your spouse. I sort of need to fill both wife and mother roles for him, which seems to be much harder on him than it is on me. Sometimes he feels like a burden, even though I never see it that way. He's my best friend and my soul mate; no matter what extra baggage comes along with that, it's worth it to have a life together. Anyway, I want Fiona to have a better life than I could've given her and I feel like she's getting it with my Aunt Laura.


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## A & B (Nov 3, 2019)

I didn't mean to come off as nosy, I'm just a very curious person. I absolutely love the name Fiona! Your situation is certainly unique and you shouldn't be embarrassed about your decision or the pregnancy itself. An unplanned pregnancy is something I'm terrified of regardless of age. You're a very brave and strong person and I admire everything about you.

I couldn't help but laugh when you were talking about how your alarm was messed up, sorry lol. I bet you were incredibly frustrated. I didn't have to wake up early today but I did feel off all day. I wanted to clean Bugs's litter box after work but it was pitch black and I have this gut feeling I'm going to get murdered soon so I'd rather not put myself into a potentially dangerous situation.



Imbrium said:


> Sorry your stepdad is being such an intractable buttmunch about it all. It sounds like he's got some serious psychological issues that he's currently taking out on you.


He's always been a jerk to my biological sister and me. He plays favorites and doesn't bother hiding it either but if we call him out on it he gets aggressive. He's put his hands on me before just because I called him out on something. He frequently calls me an ungrateful ---- knowing **** well I pay for most of my stuff and I ask him for nothing. I've always struggled with starving/binging/purging myself because I'm the only one in my family who's slightly overweight and he makes sure I know it. He also likes to bring my dead dad (along with Bugs and Evie who have nothing to do with anything) into his and my mom's arguments saying my dad was a shitty guy and deserved to get murdered because he knows my sister and I are listening (which my dad wasn't at all). He was shot by a police officer in front of my mom, which over the last 10 years she has struggled with severe PTSD. Not to mention the cop that did it was 100% in the wrong but faced absolutely no punishments. Pretty messed up world we live in if you ask me.

Anyway, I might as well explain my siblings to help you understand my family further. My brother, Caeto, is the perfect kid and is my stepdad's, making him my stepbrother. Then there's Ani who is my full blood sister who is a couple of years younger than I am. Then there's Nala. (Yep, her name's really Nala. It's short for Anala but because of the whole anal thing, we're in the process of legally getting her name changed so she isn't bullied.) She's 7. I used to envy her because while I was cutting/suicidal/struggling mentally, my parents went through the process of getting her diagnosed with ADHD and didn't care about my issues. She's my half-sister (and Bugs is her horse because she lets her dolls ride him, lol). IMO, the whole step and half-sibling thing is a load of bs. My brother is my brother and my sisters are my sisters.

If honesty is best, should I tell him about the forum? I've been made fun of for it before and either he wouldn't care or ask more and I don't feel like explaining. He knows he's my first boyfriend and I know I'm not his first girlfriend. We had probably the most awkward hug ever Friday. He went in for a full hug and I tried to do a casual side hug. We just laughed about it and did more PDA.

I'm not sure about how caught up you are on my blog but long story short, I took in a bunny a couple of months ago with the intention of finding him a home and today I took him to his foster home. I feel like a bad bun mom because I avoided paying him any attention so it wouldn't hurt as much when he left but it didn't help and now I feel neglectful. The bunny deserved better but I'm happy he gets a forever home. He's the sweetest boy ever and he deserves the world. He kept looking at me and giving me kisses tying to tell me to not leave him and it broke my heart. I failed him.

There's more I want to say but I have to do my homework now. I've been finding every excuse not to all weekend. Whoops.


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## Lauren Kiernan (Nov 4, 2019)

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I didn't mean to come off as nosy, I'm just a very curious person. I absolutely love the name Fiona! Your situation is certainly unique and you shouldn't be embarrassed about your decision or the pregnancy itself. An unplanned pregnancy is something I'm terrified of regardless of age. You're a very brave and strong person and I admire everything about you.
> 
> I couldn't help but laugh when you were talking about how your alarm was messed up, sorry lol. I bet you were incredibly frustrated. I didn't have to wake up early today but I did feel off all day. I wanted to clean Bugs's litter box after work but it was pitch black and I have this gut feeling I'm going to get murdered soon so I'd rather not put myself into a potentially dangerous situation.
> 
> ...


You are a remarkable, mature young woman for your age. Sounds like you have a lot to handle at home. Hang in there and definitely do the homework!


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## Imbrium (Nov 5, 2019)

Man, Alyssa, your posts always make me want to give you a big hug! Sometimes happy, sometimes sad but always a big hug. I've never understood people who look back on high school as the best times of their life, because as I recall, being a teenager can be as traumatic as it can be fun!

It amazes me just how much crap you've overcome in your short life. My dad was my best friend and he died when I was nine of natural causes... But my mom was an amazing single parent even if we made each other crazy.

Bad parenting (or step-parenting) can really make a kid's life infinitely harder than it needs to be. My husband still struggles with it at times even though his mom is now really good to us and tries to make up for his childhood and his stepfather has been sober for years and is 100% a different person than the abusive alcoholic he was 20 years ago. His dad has finally grown up some too... Though he's currently a source of stress because his schizophrenia has had him in the hospital for at least a month now and he's still very delusional (normally they fix him up with new meds in a few days).

I'm still sorry your parents won't let you get mental health help... But it seems like RO has been quite therapeutic for you and sometimes that's just as good (an outside voice to help you gain perspective). It occurs to me that you might be able to ask your normal doctor about an antidepressant if you think it might help you. Mine prescribes one to me.

Please know that you deserve much better than how you're treated by your step dad. He sounds quite toxic... And like my mother-in-law was back in the day, your mom is stuck in the middle and may often choose to side with him because it's easier, not because he deserves it.

You're an amazing young woman and people worth keeping around (friends and boyfriends) will love you for who you are, won't judge you for your quirks/differences (may even love you more for them) and won't try to change you. You have every right to expect that from others as long as you're offering the same in return.

Seriously, though, *hug*. Life is shitty sometimes... It's the relationships we have with pets, friends and loved ones that makes it all worthwhile. Besides, if it weren't for the bad stuff, the good parts of life wouldn't mean as much.


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## Imbrium (Nov 5, 2019)

I will regret this for at least a week (our cats normally only get dry food and cat treats):

Plate of wet food (22 oz can)...

Plus five cats...


When that plate is empty and their wet-food binge has to end, they will become my worst nightmare.


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## Imbrium (Nov 5, 2019)

Nala is currently perched on my shoulder like a parrot while I sit at the computer and play Runescape with my husband. She's the only rabbit we have that happily does this, whether I'm driving or sitting in a chair.


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## Imbrium (Nov 5, 2019)

Spoke too soon, lol, Harley Quinn has now mastered the art of perching on my shoulder while I'm on the computer .


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## A & B (Nov 5, 2019)

I need me a Nala! Bugs can't be trusted near my face because he bites hard when he wants my attention. He also likes to dig at faces and is the sole reason why I don't have a nose piercing. Every time I consider it I see him ripping it out. Not fun. I think my mom is in love with your Nala! I was showing her some pictures from you and Nala's picture thread and she told me that I need to get one when I move out. She also asked me why Bugs and Evie look messed up. It's not their fault the temperatures went from the 60's to the 30's overnight.

If you ever find yourself in Iowa (which, considering Iowa's one of those states that no one cares about, probably isn't likely) please do let me know! I'd like to give you a big ol' hug! That goes for Jay too, from what I've gathered he's been through a lot. Poor guy 

I just want to point out that all of your cats look very similar. Not sure why I thought that was important to share lol.

Today's been an interesting day, an emotional rollercoaster for sure. I'm sitting on my bed blasting music into my poor ears and eating mini pizza rolls and realizing someone just made a thread they're undoubtingly going to get attacked over. My day started out okay, waking up at 4:30 to make myself look less ugly does get old. @Augustus&HazelGrace and I PM'd about random stuff all day as usual because she was fortunate enough to not have school. My boyfriend had to point out how I have a big forehead (which, after staring at myself in the mirror for longer than I'll ever admit to), I have concluded that my forehead isn't big but my eyebrows are wayyy too thin. My eyebrows are the reason why I do a 50ish minute long makeup routine every. single. freaking. day. I had too much homework today but I came straight home and did it all asap so I'd have time for RO. I made a new friend today and we couldn't be any more similar! She's the last person I'd expect to be friends with (or have anything in common with). She's actually the guy I talked to before Nick's on again off again girlfriend who I couldn't stand before like 4 hours ago. She said she was jealous her boyfriend liked me because I'm everything appearance-wise he likes. I'm a blonde with very light blue eyes, I'm average height, and according to her, I have nice boobs and butt. I hate even saying that because I hate my body. It's just so darn awkward looking! Anyway, we started talking and all of a sudden she mentions ferrets! Me, being the person I am, asks for pictures. When I told her they were cute, she told me to not let me the cuteness fool me because they're naughty. I told her my rabbits are the same way and she asked for pictures of them. In all of school this is the first time I've met anyone, well, like me. It's nice to have another friend even though I lost a friend because of her. I'm not going to get into it because it's just petty and I'm going to get mad and mywordsaregoingtocomeoutlikethis because that's just what happens.

RO helps a lot. A lot more than I ever thought possible. Although I do feel guilty when I post here on your blog. I've considered asking my doctor for antidepressants but my mom doesn't want me on them. I think that after almost a year and a half of just being stuck in this funk of "I'm worthless and if I died no one would really care so I might as well do everyone a favor" or telling myself how easy it would be to take every single pill I could find in my house or how I can't even successfully cut myself like how I used to be able to, I should be allowed to get some kind of help. She tried to put me in a mental hospital after she found out I was hurting myself after I told her I specifically couldn't go to one because she told me if I went she'd get rid of Bugs. She wanted to get rid of me and my issues because I was going to ruin her perfect family and not actually get me help. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom but ****, even I could be a better parent as a 14-year-old. She would ask me things like "what if you found out Bugs was intentionally hurting himself for attention?" It's been 8 months since then but every time I think of those words it still feels like she stabbed me, twisted the knife and let me bleed to death. I want the opposite of attention and always have. Plus, Bugs hurts _me_ for attention. Crazy how this post went from happy to sad in minutes.


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## Imbrium (Nov 5, 2019)

LOL... our bunns have gone through some fugly molts as well, if that's what you mean by 'messed up'... Nala usually molts without bizarrely distinct lines forming, but she's the cactus-butt queen. Barnaby gets pretty cactus-y as well. HQ has had weird, jagged lines down the middle of her face recently. Alice just poofs fur 24/7/365.

Our cats do look pretty similar. There's a long haired gray and white one, Chanel, who is mommy to three of the others. Claire is a tortie, Pokey is brown and black striped, Donnie looks like the million black cats in the shelters (but with a white spot on his tummy) and Ruby is long-haired black with white on her chest. Ruby is the only one not related to the other cats. They also had another black sibling, but with a panther face (Reginald) and a tuxedo cat brother (Alvin) - we gave those two to relatives, though Alvies got hit by a car last year and passed away .

Music is the answer to a lot of life's problems, just so you know.

Ferrets are like having 2 year old human children for a decade. I remember another girl in my dorm who knew I was animal-savvy coming to me in a panic because her (forbidden) ferret had gone through the cable-hole cutout in her desk and gotten the plastic ring stuck around his middle, lol.

I've gotta wrap this up, as hubby wants me back to playing video games with him... but don't feel guilty about posting on my blog like this! I love it! This blog is nothing like what it started out as, but I ended up with something even better than anticipated. Life is like that. I love that we have "therapy" in here! It's so liberating to be able to bare your soul without fear of judgement or scrutiny. Sometimes it's even worth pulling the wool over one's own eyes in that regard. For example, I have myself convinced that no one would ever bother to read my blog unless they were already predisposed to accept me, neuroses and all.


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## Imbrium (Nov 6, 2019)

Oh yeah, so we talked to hubby's paternal gma yesterday to see how his dad was doing. It seems he got out of the mental hospital and went to a halfway house instead of back with his mom... Where he ended up smoking crack again after 5+ years of being off it. God.

Husband and I are debating between playing rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to kick his dad's ass first and just tag-teaming the m.f.er.


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## Imbrium (Nov 6, 2019)

Why must my mornings so often involve the unwelcome discovery of puke? >.>

Naturally, I (once again) made this discovery foot-first as I'm quite blind without my glasses and just wanted a glass of ice water before returning to bed.

In this regard, rabbits are infinitely superior to cats. Unfortunately, having both means cats have far too much access to hay, which of course is a big part of why I so often wake up to puke.

On the plus side, at least we have ZERO carpeting these days!


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## Imbrium (Nov 8, 2019)

*Runs around in a panic*. It's a rabbit mutiny, run for your lives!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

The rabbit room TV is broken and they're mad enough to throw elbows!!

If you don't hear from me again, call a hostage negotiator.


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## Imbrium (Nov 8, 2019)

This is pathetic. I seriously don't know whether to laugh or cry.



I put him on the "rabbit (and cat) shelf of the computer desk to keep me company and the next thing you know he's squished up way in the back like this. Like somebody is literally coming to kill him and make rabbit stew. Poor big baby.


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## A & B (Nov 8, 2019)

Poor Barnaby  He's a cutie though.

We're reading this book in English and it used the word "thwart" and it made me think of you, lol. Until I heard you use the word a few months ago I hadn't ever heard it before. They used the word so awkwardly, although that may just be me because I'm used to seeing it on the forum.


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## Imbrium (Nov 8, 2019)

"Thwart" is one of my absolute favorite words! My mom was a linguist (had PhDs in Deaf Education and Speech Therapy) and I had a ridiculous vocabulary from a very young age... I've always really gone out of my way to find the 'perfect' word for any situation .


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## A & B (Nov 8, 2019)

I'm very advanced in English and I'm taking a writing class that I'm technically not even old enough to take but you use words that I have to look up on a daily basis. Thwart is one of those words that can be used in various situations, from rabbits to the book which was about a court case.

You do always use the perfect word [emoji14]


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## A & B (Nov 8, 2019)

*The message attached twice so I got rid of it*


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## Imbrium (Nov 8, 2019)

It's getting really serious, guys. I'm scared to go into my own living room. If you could see the faces on these rabbit girls, you'd understand. They're ready to riot in the streets. It's "all hands on deck," "terror alert red," you name it. Everybody DEMANDS an explanation and I DON'T G- D- HAVE ONE!!!

Somebody hold me. I don't have money for a new TV!


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