# Fizz



## Flashy (Jan 12, 2011)

Dearest Fizz,

Iâm sorry I didnât do this on Monday, or yesterday, but I wasnât sure it was my place. As no one else has done one, Iâm making it my place, because you deserve one.

What to say little man.

Way back when in June last year you and your scruffy bunch of siblings came to me, more by accident (or fate as Kris said), than by design. You got your first name- Gizmo- because Krisâs mum reckoned you looked like Gizmo from The Gremlins, and she was weirdly right with that. You were a bundle of fluff.

You all looked horrendous. You all have sparse fur and bald bits (none of you looked as bad as Wish though), but yet you were all so nice! Iâve never known such a bunch of licky bunnies before. At this point though, I expected not just Wish to die, but to lose you all. You had all had such a horrid start to life and had suffered so much, with losing your mum, dad or mum giving you a rough time (that would explain your bald patches), some 4 week younger siblings, then going to a strange place (Krisâs- no offence Kris), and then travelling an hour to yet another strange place (mine). You were all VERY hardy.

I could tell you apart, and Socks and Wish, but Flame and Flare I couldnât for a couple of days until their personalities came out. You were very âin your faceâ (although not as much as Socksy boy).

This is you with Socksy boy on the second day you were here. Look at those ears!







You started to grow and you got an awesome ear. Your right one lopped, and your left one stood up like a proper uppy eared bunny. Funnily enough, we saw it do this a couple of times in the 24 hours you were here before you died. 






We had such a lovely time with you all here. I remember you sitting for ages and licking my dadâs feet (or generally just licking everything and everyone)â¦






or running and doing mega binkies everywhere, jumping out of the run with Flameâ¦






But, above everything else, you were very nosey.




































You were a real people bunny (like your siblings) and so always wanted to be âin the people actionâ and were interested in whatever we were doing (or whatever we didnât want you to do).






While you were here we checked and checked and you were a girl, so you were separated off with Flame and Wish.





















You grew and you changed and then you went to your new home. I was sad you had gone, but felt you had gone to a good home.

When you went in for your âspayâ it became clear you were a boy, although you werenât formed properly. By that time we knew more of the problems of your litter mates (Socks and his undescended testicles), Flame being a hermaphrodite, Wish and her Metabolic and severe dental issues. The only one who escaped was Flare (who was renamed Hazel). We all thought it was a bit weird, and that you were complicated, but then horror struck and Hazel died, unexpectedly, at only 5 months old. Things became more serious and sinister because it looks like potentially there may be more problems than âjustâ be anatomically deformed and âproblematicalâ. 

All the people that needed to know were made aware, and then we carried on. When your owner contacted me in November, I was SO excited to potentially have you back for a while, and when you finally came on Sunday 9[sup]th[/sup] January, I walked on Cloud 9. I was so, SO happy to see you. You were so big! Both compared to when you left me, and compared to your siblings, I just wanted to kiss you and cuddle you all the time. I didnât want to put you down.

I got to know you again as an adult on 8-9 months old and you was awesome. Still chilled, still into everything, and you had a sense of humour too. I really felt you had come home. You were finally in the right place (in my eyes).

On the Sunday, when you came in for a run, you were so funny. You seemed to remember the layout and where all the escape points were, it was astonishing. You went round the room, anti clockwise investigating all the different things. You then went back and started from the beginning, but went round a little bit faster. You kept getting faster and faster and had so much energy and life.











The next day you were more haphazard and more intent on the escape points (which you did succeed in doing). 





















No inkling to a new owner there was something wrong, but maybe your old owner might have picked something up. There were things that I did note like your variety of different shaped poo overnight (but then when you came inside on the Monday you produced some beautiful, all equal, poo) and you didnât eat all your breakfast in one sitting, but then when my bunnies get Science Selective in those amounts, they leave stuff too. Maybe those were signs and I missed them, but you seemed very âin lineâ with Wish and Flame.

When I went back out at 6pm you were so ill. You were limp and I was terrified. We rushed to the vets and you went into their Incubator. It was warm and you had oxygen pumped in. You were still pretty limp, but wriggling out from under your towels and blankets. I sat with you and talked to you, sometimes I sat in silence, but I always stroked you.

I could tell you were struggling more because you were pulling your head away from my hands into a weird position and then shoving it back under. I think you were trying to find a way to comfortably breathe. You did find comfort in my hand though, I know that. To keep coming towards me, nuzzling me, moving towards me and not moving away shows that you found comfort. I was able to keep you calm and offer you peace. I sat with you for an hour and a bit and then the on call vet arrived.

She gave you a good check over and told me that despite all the oxygen you were blue, and there was so much wrong, but she couldnât find a reason why. She said that all your organs were failing and there was nothing she could do. I asked a gazillion questions, actually, the same question, in many different ways âis there really nothing you can do?â She suggested that it would be fairer for you to be Put To Sleep, so I could only follow her advice. I wasnât going to let you suffer. I was there, holding you, until the end. You were peaceful.

Sadly, the next thing I had to do was horrendous. I needed to know what happened to you, so had to get a post mortem done on your body. Worse yet, we didnât have space in our garden for you. I took you to the vets for them to do the post mortem and as much as I wanted you cremated, and to bring you home, I couldnât afford that. I asked for a communal cremation because thatâs all I could afford, and Iâm so sorry, because I so wanted you to be here with me, with us. I hate to think of you somewhere else, thinking youâre uncared for, been abandoned, maybe with other animals who were genuinely unloved. 

The basic results have come back to show you went into spontaneous heart failure. None of us could have done anything. None of us were at fault. It doesnât feel like that though Fizz. I feel like I failed you, and now Iâve abandoned you in death. I should have seen something, I should have checked sooner. All those âshouldâsâ that I didnât do.

I donât know why this happened sweet boy. You came to me, and dropped dead a day later. I donât know if you waited until you got here, I donât know if it was unlucky, I donât know if it was stress.

Kris said some lovely things on the night you died. I donât think its appropriate to put some of them here, but I can say that I too believe it may be fate you call came my way, and maybe fate that you came to me to die.

I feel privileged Fizz. Privileged I got to know you as a baby and privileged I got the chance to know you as an adult.

Thank you so much for being in my life.

[align=center] *Binky Free Beautiful Fizz






April 2010- 10[sup]th[/sup] January 2011

*[align=left]All my love,

Tracy x
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## jujub793 (Jan 12, 2011)

=( i'm sorry....such a sad fate for him. but at least he knew love


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## Nancy McClelland (Jan 12, 2011)

We're so sorry to hear of Fizz's passing. Such a beautiful little bunny. We always hate to hear the horror stories of some bunnies start and are always so happy when they come to a loving caregiver. We've always been amazed at how loving some can be that come from the worst conditions--such sweet little creatures. Rest in peace Fizz and binky free. You are loved and will be truly missed.


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## Flashy (Jan 12, 2011)

*Nancy McClelland wrote: *


> We're so sorry to hear of Fizz's passing. Such a beautiful little bunny. We always hate to hear the horror stories of some bunnies start and are always so happy when they come to a loving caregiver. *We've always been amazed at how loving some can be that come from the worst conditions--such sweet little creatures. *Rest in peace Fizz and binky free. You are loved and will be truly missed.


You are so totally right. These animals are so amazing. I was so privileged to have had this litter (as well as the many other rescues who have stayed here) and feel truly lucky


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom (Jan 12, 2011)

So sorry to hear about Fizz's passing. Binky-free, dear boy!


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## LuvaBun (Jan 12, 2011)

I'm so sorry, Tracy. I shed a few tears at his story. Fizz and his siblings had so much going against them, and yet they knew what it was to be loved. You and the other caring people in their short lives should be proud of that.

I'm sure that Fizz held on long enough to spend his last hours with you. These little fur kids have a special knowledge and determination about them, as you know.

God Bless, you beautiful boy 

Jan


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## Nela (Jan 13, 2011)

Oh geez bah, I so remember him. I've always been quite fond of him from his pictures! I'm so sorry that he has gone over the bridge. I guess he wanted to say goodbye to you and thank you for all you've done before he went. How sad... Binky happily precious one!


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## cheryl (Jan 17, 2011)

Tracy,i'm so sorry for your loss...Fizz was just an adorable bunny..


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