# To My Pretty Pernod



## LuvaBun

Oh Pernod, where to begin? I canât believe that you have gone to The Bridge â I keep expecting you to come bouncing into the room, looking to see what mischief you can get into next. I donât think it has really sunk in yet, and that makes me feel worse.

When we adopted you and Perry 5 Â½ years ago, I was determined I wasnât going to get as attached to you as I had been to Fudge â it just hurt too much when she left us. So, I thought getting two rabbits would be easier â of course, I would love you, but you would have each other, so I neednât be as âinvolvedâ. Huh, who was I trying to fool? You both imprinted yourselves on my heart, and I loved you both so much.

You and Perry were so much in love â not just bonded, it went deeper than that. You were always together, looking out for each other, creating havoc together. Perry was the quiet, sweet soul â you were the feisty bundle of trouble. Whatever we were doing, you had to be there to check it out. Whether it was me working in the house, or Daddy in the garden, you had to make sure we did things right. And, more than once, we would get a timely nip if it wasnât done the way you wanted.

You were such a vocal bunny, always grunting and chattering away. You made happy grunty noises when you were eating, and when you were being petted, and often even just when you were laying happily under the chair. You made angry grunting noises when you were stopped from doing something you shouldnât have been, or you were picked up for nail clipping or something else that you didnât approve of. Our UK vet said you were the most vocal bunny she had ever met. God, I am so going to miss that!

Your binkies were strange â either a half, head shake binky, or a 180 degree, four paws off the ground together, jump. The head shake was reserved for when we told you off for doing something â you would do this and then run off, flicking your feet as you went. The 180 degree turn was when you were happy â in the sandpit or after a cuddle.

You loved being outside. You could explore, and eat grass, and dig. You really loved the rain (silly bunny), and would sit in the middle of the garden getting wetter and wetter, but wouldnât come in. You even liked the snow, though, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), you wonât see a Canadian winter).
You werenât so keen on being dried off though â several towels bare angry Pernod teeth marks.
 
When Perry went to The Bridge, you were so lost without him. You lay beside the picture Lauren did of him, and you licked his photo. You became closer to us, but often you would stare into space, or lay in the places where you had been together. So after 2 months, we thought a new friend may cheer you up, but, again, you had your own ideas on that. You hated Shadow, and tried to take his head away from his body at every chance. Unfortunately, because he was bigger than you, you ended up coming off worst. We had several vet visits for wounds to be stitched, and you were left with a chunk taken out of your right ear. Then, we looked after Jessâs gorgeous Millie, ad she and Shadow made friends. You werenât having another doe take âyourâ man, and overnight you accepted him â 10 months after he arrived!!! You and he became close friends, but I know your heart was still with Perry.

I wondered if bringing you to Canada was the right thing to do. Perhaps, if I knew someone who would love you and spoil you the way you were used to, I may have left you in the UK, even though it would have killed me to do so. But, you and Shadow made it here. I needed (still need) you both so much. But, while Shadow is in Bunny Heaven here, and loves it, you and I struggled. You seemed to get ill shortly after, first with an ear infection. This cleared up for a few weeks. Then you stopped eating and were losing weight. You loved your food, and were always a little Piggy, so I knew something was going on. Blood tests and x rays showed you had a growth on your liver. I canât tell you how devastated I was hearing that. I would look at you, and you would look so ânormalâ and yet inside you were different. Then you got the runny nose, and the ear infection got worse. More meds seemed to work, and for a few, glorious weeks, you were back to yourself. Eating everything in sight, racing around the garden and exploring everything. I am so grateful that we had those few weeks, and I knew that you were happy here. And that I could tell you every day how much I loved you.

But, last week, your eye was swollen and started weeping. On Wednesday, when I took you to the vet, they said that you had an infection in the tube from the nose to the eye, so it was more meds, and creams and injections. They didnât work. Your sweet, pretty face became swollen, the eye worse, and you stopped eating again. I couldnât tell if the blood was from the eye or mouth, and your lips were bruised. So, straight back to the vet, more injections, different meds, fluids, and so many prayers. But, I guess whatever was wrong with your liver, you just couldnât fight this one. I could see that my little Pernod wasnât there any more â you were whimpering and didnât want anyone, or any bun, near you, and I knew it was time to let you go with Perry. And that hurts so, so much.

So, my Sweet P, you have joined the love of your life. I love to think of you two together again, you were such a perfect couple. I am completely heartbroken by your leaving, and I donât know how I will get by without you â you have been my friend and shoulder to cry on for 5 Â½ years. Thank you for all the joy you brought us, all the happy memories you leave us with. God Bless, my Pernie Poo, be happy with Perry, Fudge and Buck, and all Rainbow Bridge babies there. I will love you forever.







You loved being in your sand box







You loved being with Perry






No flowers stood a chance with you around










Kisses for mommy







You loved the rain and getting wet (taken 10 days ago)




















Goodbye, my sweet girl. Until we meet again.

Jan


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## Elf Mommy

Goodbye, Pernod. You touched my life. I'm so sorry to see you go. The love you had for Perry, and then eventually Shadow, always made me want to bond Elf. May you binky merrily with Perry over the Rainbow Bridge and always look down on your loving Mum, Jan. 

Jan, you are in my thoughts and heart.


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## Bunnys_rule63

Oh Jan, you've set me off in tears again. What a beautiful tribute to such a special girl.:sad:

I feel so lucky that I had the privilege of meeting Pernod when you lived in the UK. From the moment I first meet her I knew that she was an extra special rabbit. I still laugh when I think about how she came running out into the garden when I came to take Millie home, as if saying "HA, that horrible doe has finally gone!"

Jan, you showed Pernod the love and care that only a small handful of rabbits in the world get to see. Take comfort in that.:hug:

Binky free Pernod, you are back with your dear Perry now.:rainbow:ink iris:


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## TinysMom

OMG - what an awesome tribute....

We lost a beautiful spirit here on earth - and heaven gained one awesome bunny.

RIP sweet Pernod....and binky free.

I'm so sorry for your loss Jan - you know we're here for you....


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## tonyshuman

:cry2

What a special bunny.

ink iris::dutch

Binky free, Pernod.

:hug1


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## Maureen Las

What a wonderful tribute ....what a beautiful bunny
Binky free Pernod !..

:headflick:


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## bunbunbinkie

Pernod is a beautiful bunny, inside and out. Binkie free little girl and go be with Perry, your soul mate. :rainbow:ink iris:


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## cheryl

Jan,that was just a beautiful tribute...Pernod was one special little girl

I'm justso sorry for your loss

Rest peacefully sweet one

Cherylink iris:


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## slavetoabunny

Your tribute made me cry and then the pictures made me smile. Pernod was such a special bunny. Goodbye sweet girl.ink iris:


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## JadeIcing

[align=center]





We choose them sometimes they choose us and other times they are given to us.

We bring them home and suddenly learn there is so much more. 

We love them and care for them.

We feed them and play with them.

We watch them grow and marvel at the change.

We laugh and enjoy there every move. 

We sometimes get annoyed at some of what they do, than they look at us and it is all ok.

We do our best to keep them safe and it is not enough.

We sometimes make the choice for how there life ends and sometimes they choose it. 

We love them will all our hearts in the end they know this and that is best of all. They go to the bridge loved when so many others have never known love. They go knowing some day we will see them again and their hearts as well as ours will be whole. 




[/align]


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## Bo B Bunny

:bigtears:


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## Haley

Jan, what a beautiful tribute to such an amazing little girl. Even though we never met in person, Ive always felt so close to you and your bunny family. Maybe it was because she was dutch, and I love them so much, but I always felt a special connection with Pernod. 

This is one of my favorite pictures of her and Perry:






As devastated as I am knowing you lost your special girl, I know she is with her best friend and soulmate once again. They were truly a beautiful and special pair. 

Rest in peace our beautiful Pernod. We all loved you so much.


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## Michaela

A beautiful tribute Jan. ink iris:

Binky free Pernod. :rainbow::tears2:


_~My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today._


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## Pet_Bunny

I've gone over the Tribute several times already, and I still can't find the words... my eyes still well up.

Pernod is a forum favorite,and it was an honor and privilege to meet her.

It's not Goodbye. It's Adieu, until we meet again.


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## Alexah

I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. Reading what you shared touched me deep into my core. I don't know you well and I never had the opportunity to truly "know" Pernod, but she is in my heart today and you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Rest in peace, Pernod. Binky free ink iris:.


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## JimD

words fail me....

binky free little one.



:tears2:


I think this pic is so Pernod....so in her glory!


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom

No words.....:bigtears:ray::angelandbunny:


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## Wabbitdad12

I am so sorry for your loss, like JimD said "words fail me".ink iris: 

Your tribute was very touching...brought tears to my eyes, reading it, I could tellwhat aspecial bond you and Penrodhave.

She left for the bridge knowing how much you loved her. 

:bigtears:


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## pinksalamander

I'm so sorry i missed this. 

After losing William last month i know exactly what you are going through. Its so heartbreaking. Trust me thought, once you cry and let all your tears out you will feel so much better. I'm sure Shadow is feeling very upset at the moment too. I hope you are feeling better.

Fran  :hearts :brownbunny


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## Carolyn

Dearest Jan,

You have been on my mind since I read your email on Monday morning. I know there are really no words to ease the severing that you feel, but it is important that you know that you are in my thoughts more than you know.

My heart aches knowing the pain you are in. Unfortunately, there was nothing that could be done to avoid what happened. Lord knows you would have gone to the ends of the earth to keep her with you, and I know she would've put up with all she couldto stay with you. Unfortunately, she had to leave her body as it was just holding her back and keeping her in pain. I know in my heart that Pernod, Perry, and Fudge still are very much around you, and I know that you'll be given signs of their presence - eitherby an unexpected thought or seeing them through the corner of your eye.

As you have always known, Buck took a special shine to Pernod. He just adored her personality, the love you two shared, and was in awe of her perfection as a representative of whata Dutch markings should be. I can see him right now looking at pictures of Pernod and being so impressed. She reminded him of his dearest Maxie. They would've made a lovely couple. I'm glad that she was met at the bridge by her beloved Perry and the many rabbits and friends that she didn't actually meet until she crossed over. I can see Buck right now smiling as he saw her coming and saying, "Well Hello Ms. Pernod! It is indeed an honor and a pleasure to meet you." I know she knew who he was the minute she was in his presence. I can feel her now andshe still is as spunky, spry and spicey as ever! 

She will remain loving you and frolicking around you until the time comes when your eyes will see her again. Being human and in the physical form limits us so much. Remain open to your instincts, know that the love you shared is still very much alive, felt, and is everlasting. She, Perry and Fudge will be able to help you and love you in ways that go far beyond what they could do when they were here. They'll never leave you, Jan. You're the only mother they remember and they'll continue to protect, watch over, and love you. 

I'm here for you, Jan. I love you with all my heart and did cuddle Tucker, Fauna, and Cali for a long time last night. We're all thinking of you and Shadow and John. Please don't hesitate to call me should you need to talk or just want to cry. My thoughts and prayers remain with you during this extremely difficult time. 

All my love,

Carolyn


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## JadeIcing

Carolyn you just made me cry too.


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## BratBunny

:hug1

I am so sorry! RIP Pernod.. cross the bridge with peace! 

:rainbow:


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## SOOOSKA

Oh Jan,

I'm so sorry, honestly I really don't know what to say except that my thoughts are with you, John and Shadow.

Binky Free at the Bridge Pernod.:rainbow:

Hugs:hug1

Susan:bunnyangel2:


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## LuvaBun

Thank you all so very much. It means so much knowing others cared for Pernod too. I have pretty much been a wreck, especially Saturday and Sunday. How can such a small bundle leave such a huge gap in your life.

I wasn't sure whether to mention this, but anyways ......

I was looking for a sign - something to let me know Pernod was OK, that she and Perry were together, that she forgave me. Perhaps I was looking too hard and reading too much into coincidences, but 2 things happened.

On Saturday night, I was looking out of the window into the garden, crying and looking expecting to see Pernod hopping around, when I heard a strange bird call. Then I saw 2 baby woodpeckers in the trees in the back garden, and they flew down onto the bird feeder outside our kitchen window. They were black and white, with only a very small amount of red on their heads. They stayed for a few minutes, then were gone. We haven't had any woodpeckers in our garden since we arrived here.

Then, on Sunday, I went on my own for a walk in the park. I was walking along, talking to Pernod and telling her how much I loved her, and how I hoped she forgave us for sending her to the Bridge. I sat on a bench opposite a pond where people were boating and cried. Somewhere, they was a radio playing, but I hadn't really noticed it until I heard one line from a song. I think it was from the 1960's and I don't remember who sang it, but it was "You made me so, very happy. I'm so glad you, came in to my life". And . you know what, I smiled.

Shadow is doing OK, I think. He did look for Pernod for a while, but they would often lay in different rooms during the day. He is eating, pooping etc just fine, but doesn't seem so 'bouncy' - but it has been very hot here lately, so that could be it. He isn't really a cuddly bunny, so although we try and give him lots of love, he hops away after a few minutes.

Thanks again, everyone. You are helping so much.

Jan


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## Pet_Bunny

You've Made Me So Very Happy :whistling
Blood, Sweat & Tears


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y168CNQyO7g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y168CNQyO7g[/ame]


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## Haley

Jan, 

Im glad to hear youre doing ok. Ive been praying for you and I think of you often. I know youre going through a lot right now. Im glad you were able to think of your sweet girl and smile today. I know she and Perry and Fudge are watching over you now.

We're here for you :hug1

Haley


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## Haley

Also, I dont know if you've ever read this story but I think its really beautiful. I wanted to share it with you. It always makes me cry but smile at the same time. 

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he hopped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and mommy's image danced away in the ripples.

"Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?" The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy sighed and hopped out of the water.

"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and scratch between his ears like he liked, he started to tooth-purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said. The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen." she said. "That I was sick?"

That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or how big he was getting. "No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his mommy. "Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby. Dogs too - Sally andMorgan and Belle. Even a lizard named Clyde and someBunnies named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting. She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the Angel to help them. The Angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events. "Here are things you can love," the Angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome." "Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need." "You have chosen Pleasure," the Angel told them.

But after time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them." The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them." So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the Angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the Angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return." So the Angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to love," the Angel told them. So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the Angel said.

But after time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.

"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts." The Angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and rabbits and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked. But the Angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked. "Yes," the Angel said.
"Would they love us back?" another asked. "Yes," the Angel said.
"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked. "No," the Angel admitted. "They will love you forever." "Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said. But the Angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "You will have to feed these animals." "That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever." "We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes. "They were not programmed right," the Angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst.
"We will take our chances," they said.
"You do not understand." The Angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The Angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry." The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked. 

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His mommy was still there and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady. 

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of snuggling and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again.

As your mommy cries, she is healing. "It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby." "But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said. The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?" The kind lady nodded.

"You'll be in the eyes of every bunny she looks at. You'll be in the touch of every bunny she holds. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered how he would binky around the living room. 

"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced over at the other pets, running and playing and laughing with the butterflies.

"Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others :bunnyangel:


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## juliew19673

Oh Jan I am so sorry to hear of Pernod.. I'm so sorry I've been amiss of the group for so long as I was really championing Pernod during the illnesses that came up after the move. 

I loved your tribute, could never do better than that myself to one of my own.. Pernod was TRULY loved and hope that You and Shadow will move on without to much grief.

I really loved Pernod - had that internet connection with her and your trial moving to Canada... I think you were right in moving her with you as she would have probably had the same outcome - feeling like you left her..

Binkie free Pernod - you were lovedby many!


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## Carolyn

*LuvaBun wrote: *


> I was looking for a sign - something to let me know Pernod was OK, that she and Perry were together, that she forgave me. Perhaps I was looking too hard and reading too much into coincidences, but 2 things happened.




Dear Heart,

You'll miss the most potent signs from your babies if you take the notion that you're "...looking too hard and reading too much into coincidences". Be open and trust where yourautomatic thoughts and feelings take you. 

Last night I was about to go to sleep and I had this vision of Buck warming up to Pernod and calling her "Lovey" If you could've seen the look she shot him. She Did Not appreciate such a cutesy nickname and made it abundantly clear that, "My _Name_ is Pernod!!! 

It cracked me up because it came completely out of the blue. It's so Pernod too, isn't it? The way she's keeping those over the bridge in check as well - including Buck! Her work is never done. 

Please stop thinking that you need her forgiveness. She not only wanted to leave her body, she was extremely grateful that she didn't have to continue to lose her dignity and be in pain. She forgives you, do you forgive yourself? If the roles were reversed and she was you, and you her, wouldn't you want her to stop the maddness she was going through - especially knowing that there was no way to get better? What quality of life would she have had her last few days? Believe me, she's grateful to you for taking such tender loving care of her and not making her suffer. What would've been worse is if you didn't send her to the bridge.

It's time to forgive yourself. You absolutely did the right thing for Pernod. There was nothing you could've done to prevent or stop what happened to her. It was completely out of your control, Honey. You did what a loving mother would do.

* * * *

JadeIcing: Sending you my love and a hug. It always makes me cry to hear of a member of the family moving on, but I do completely trust that we'll all be together again and they're better off where they are. We're the ones that have pain, not them. Hope Elvis is doing well. (I went to Graceland last month and loved it! Stayed with Snuggy's Mom and The Fam. If you ever get a chance to get to the place, go! It's a lot of fun.)


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## Haley

Carolyn, what a beautiful vision- that definitely sounds like Pernod! Now Im tearing up again...


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## Marietta

Jan, Pernod's tribute is beautiful!

Please don't feel guilty, it was her time to go, I'm sure she's grateful that you helped taking her pain away. Pernod wouldn't want you to blame yourself for anything, she'll always love you.

She's happy with Perry now. She'll be so missed.

Marietta


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## ChinaBun

This is so touching. Thanks for writing through your pain. 

I learned to love Dutchies by looking at pictures of Pernod, back three years ago when I joined the forum.


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## Carolyn

*Haley wrote: *


> Carolyn, what a beautiful vision- that definitely sounds like Pernod!




No question, Pernod lets you knowexactly where you stand with her. 

Doesn't matter if she's in physical or spiritual form, there are some things that she just has to set us straight on if we step out of line or cross a boundary that we shouldn't. 

She hasn't changed one single bit!


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## Carolyn

I'll stop after this, but I have to say this.

I keep gettingsuch strong impressions of Pernod and what sheâs feeling and going through right now. I wonder if Iâm getting them because youâre in such pain and sheâs having a hard time getting through to you at this point, Jan. Don't know where they're coming from or what they're all about, would just say take what you like and leave the rest.

Today the feelings from her are how appauled she is by how thereâs no rules over the bridge. She feels that thereâs no structure â everyone/bun - animals and people alike -gets to do what they want and thereâs no order. She feels very much needed where she is as she feels that this chaos has to be put into check! She is one firm,determinedlittle one. I'm glad I didn't have her as a teacher when I was a kid.She would've scared the crap outta me.Her feeling is that everything and everyone has their place and should they step out of line, sheâll be the first to push them back in line. Sheâs funny. I donât know how God would manage without her help.

I could be way off base on all of this, but I can only tell you that these feelingscome to me completely out of the blue.It doesn't helpthat Buck keeps chuckling at her.It's not helping her credibility with the others One Bit! She loves Buck, but thinks he's a bit to laid back. She's feeling overwhelmed and goes back to your home a lot, Jan, to get some rest and recharge for the work she has ahead of her. 

As I said, take what you like and leave the rest. I trust my instincts and the feelings I'm getting because I'll be working and then I'll get these feelings eclipse me - so it's not like I'm going out searching for them. 

Again, Jan, I can only promise you that your babies are all very much alive and well. The othershave their work cut out for them in getting her to stop being so controlling!


Best for me to go take a test to see if I'm still sane, ey?! 


P.S. Some might call me nuts, that's okay because it makes no impact on me at all. I know what comes from me and what doesn't.


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## lalena2148

Jan,

I'm sorry I'm so late in replying. I just heard about Pernod a few days ago and have felt like I couldn't write you with out truly thinking of the loss.

Pernod was in my dream last night. She didn't do much. She just appeared over a hill, stood up to look around, binkied, and ran away. She seemed happy. I'd like to think she saw Perry and binkied to run towards him.

My heart truly aches for your loss, and if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to pm me or send me an email.

And always remember, you did nothing wrong when you brought her with you to Canada. I am a strong believer, and I know it's really hard to genuinely think about it now, that things happen for a reason. Animals are so pure of heart and spirit and can impact our lives in such profound, loving ways. They have the ability to truly change us. And I think they know when it is their time to go.

I will continue praying for you, your family, and Shadow as he lost a friend. Pernod was, and still is, a truly special girl.

Love, 
Lauren


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## Pipp

Jan, I've seriously thought about hopping on a plane and coming up to see you. The last week or more has been h*ll for both of us -- mine was pretty much shot long before I lost Dill. I've had no computer access, and the few times I jury-rigged a connection I couldn't post.  

I've been thinking of you constantly.

So very very sorry. 



s :sad:


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## JimD

*Carolyn wrote: *


> It doesn't helpthat Buck keeps chuckling at her.




... I get the same impression. And, Buck needs the chuckle.

I also get the feeling that Pernod is intent on controlling the chaos at the Bridge....and that Buck is fine with that....as futile as the attempt may be!
Let's just call it a controlled chaos now. 
Almost like her free spirit has come back to poke at her...:stikpoke


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## LuvaBun

Carolyn and Jim, that certainly sounds like Pernod - it was always _*her way*_ or _*no way*_. 

Haley, I had forgotten that story, but thank you for posting it - I like to think that that's the way things are when our babies leave us.

Today has been really hard. Not only is it a week since I lost Pernod, but what with Pebbles being ill, and Sas' Dill going to The Bridge ( I met the little guy, and he was the sweetest, bouncy bunny, I fell in love with him). Then I found the stray cats that 'live' under next doors deck had got into the robins nest in our tree, and the babies bodies were on our garden. So, I decided to 'lose' myself in a crowd and went to the West Edmonton Mall. But I just wandered aimlessley around, so I came back. I feel like a part of me is missing, and can't really concentrate on anything :?.

I keep telling myself I've been through this before and it'll get better, but at the moment that seems like a long way away 

Jan


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom

Oh, Jan. I can't imagine how hard this is for you....I'm keeping you and Shadow in prayer!ray::hug:


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## Nancy McClelland

We are so sorry that you lost your Pernod despite all the efforts. It was the same for us too. We thought our bun was getting better, but she took a turn for the worse, and in spite of everything our vet and we tried, she just got worse and finally went to rest. She was such a strong, stubborn bunny--she lasted longer than most would have as sick as she was. It hard to admit that she is better off--we just don't want to let go. We do have our memories of our little bundle of fur that grew into the house "boss". Once again, you have our sympathies for your loss and we thank you for the wonderful pictures. Each day is hard to deal with that empty space, but the good memeories are a help and it is nice to know we aren't really alone in our grief. Larry and Nancy


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## tailof2rabbits

Oh, Jan. I cried when I read what you wrote. I'm still crying. I'm so sorry. I still remember when you said she licked Perry's picture. That broke my heart. I'm sure they're together now, snuggling in a field of carrots.

I'd like to think Mocha gets to play with them every now and then. I always felt she and Marbles were the same way. He misses her a lot. It's almost been a year now and I still grieve so much. I wish I was there to hug you.

Perry and Pernod are together now, and there's no more pain. They were the luckiest bunnies to have ended up in your family. They couldn't have been more loved.


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## Carolyn

UPDATE: Well Pernod didn't like how things are run at the Bridge, so she cut out of there and stays with you along with Perry all the time now. 

Leave it to you, Jan, tohave a bunny refuse Heavento stay in your house instead.

Watch for signs of them. They leave them.


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## LuvaBun

Thanks again.

To2R - I often think about Mocha and Marbles - 2 of the most attractive Dutches around. How is Marbles doing on his own?

Well, I got Pernod's ashes back, so I feel she is back with us. I can't tell you how hard it is not having her under my feet, demanding what she wants all the time. I miss my little girl 

John did a Rainbow Bridge memorial picture of her, like he did for Perry and Fudge and we have hung them in the Bunny Room, to watch over Shadow





Shadow is doing OK, and has let us pet him a bit more, but I do think he misses her - probably misses being told what to do, just like us!

Jan


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## Haley

Thats absolutely beautiful, Jan. 

Im glad to hear Shadow is doing ok. I know you must all miss her so much. :cry2


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## Bunnys_rule63

Those memorials are just beautiful Jan, a wonderful tribute to your 3 gorgeous bridge bunnies.:hug:ink iris:


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## juliew19673

Jan, been thinking of you and Pebbles - haven't been around much but you've both been on my mind and was happy to see the memorial wall - Pernod would approve I am sure.. Your in my thoughts and prayers..


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## m.e.

Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry :hug:

Binky free, Pernod :rainbow:


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## LuvaBun

I received a lovely card from the vets and techs saying how sorry they were about Pernod and wished they could have saved her. They have also been in touch with a rabbit specialist in Saskatchewan about her chewing her tail off no one seems to have heard of that in rabbits :?

The culture they took showed some kind of fungus, but they have sent it to pathology to see if they can find out more. I can't praise the vets high enough, for their help and compassion.

I miss my little girl so much 

Jan


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## juliew19673

Jan, you'v reallybeen great about expressing what you've gone thourgh w/Pernod and must commend you for it.. Others will be right behind you (unfortnately) but would hope that I could be as insightful as you have been.

Hoping you and yours are happy and healthy tonight and keep posting of Pernod as she may be gone, but not forgotten in the least..


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## Haley

Jan, I just wanted to tell you Im thinking about you tonight. How have you been holding up?

Ive had that picture of Pernod outside pruning your tree as my background for months. Everytime I look at it it makes me smile. 

Hope youre doing well.

*hugs*

Haley


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## LuvaBun

Oh Haley, thank you so much for thinking of me :hug:. I am so touched that you have Pernod's picture as your background .

Things have been rough lately - I haven't posted them on the Forum. The week after we got back from Vegas, John was in a car accident. Someone smashed in to the back of him at a junction, so hard he crashed in to the car in front. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, but the car was a write off.

The same week, my mom, who was doing well after her fall here, had a mini stroke. She was slurring her words and very confused when I spoke to her on the phone. My brother and sister-in-law have been wonderful, but I felt so helpless stuck here. She also got a water infection, but after strong antibiotics, she is back to herself, and no lasting effects from the stroke - thank God.

I miss Pernod so much. She was a rock to me when I needed to cry or have a cuddle. Shadow has become more 'people' friendly, but he isn't a 'cuddly' bunny. And Jester - well, he has too much energy to sit still and be cuddled. They aren't any nearer bonding, and have had a few fights, but no major injuries, just a few cuts and scrapes. I find I really miss seeing Perry and Pernod snuggling - I really think they were a one-off couple, just made for each other.

Thanks fo asking. This forum is the only thing that keeps me going on bad days 

Jan


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## Bunnys_rule63

Oh Jan, I'm so sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. I think sometimes all the bad things in life come at once just to test us.:rollseyes


Sending you a thousand hugs missus,you know where I am if you ever need me.:hug:


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## LuvaBun

Well, Pernod, today would have been yours and Perry's 6th Gotcha Day! I so wish we were all together to share it .

I miss you so much, Pernie, I really do! The only thing that helps is knowing you and Perry are together again, as you should be.

Love you both

Mommy x


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## Pet_Bunny

Pernod and Perry. :hug:

Your Mommy misses you so much.


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## AngelnSnuffy

I am so sorry, Jan. I offer a hug to you. I know you need one now. 

You take care, and let us know how you're doing.

Crys and Snuffles:hug:


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## Bunnys_rule63

We miss you Pernod, more than you know. 

:hug:


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## Flashy

I'm so sorry Jan. I never really knew Perry, but I think of Pernod most times I buy food because I think of hunting in all the pet shops for the SS to send to you (and then trying to explain to the guy at the post office that it was a present in the package-because it's easier to say a present than anything else-, and then he asked specifically what it was and I had to conceed I was sending a present of rabbit food, lol). He's stayed in my heart more than most bunnies do, and to have that affect on someone he never knew he must have been a special guy.

Thinking of all of you, and hoping you are doing ok.

I'm just a PM away if you ever need a chat.

x


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom

:hug2: You're in my thoughts and prayers today.


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## Saffy

:cry1:


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## LuvaBun

Thanks for your replies. I was a bit weepy yesterday, missing my babies. What made it worse is that Shadow and Jester are on a major hate trip at the moment - couldn't even keep them in the same room last night, as they were fighting through the bars. Such a difference from the snuggles and cuddles Pernod and Perry shared .

Tracey, I'll never forget how you went above and beyond for Pernod. She sure loved her UK pellets, and I'm sure they kept her going for as long as she did :hug:

Something I thought I'd mentioned here but haven't. Some weeks after Pernod went to The Bridge, I got a letter from a vet school in Saskatchewan, saying that Pernod's vets in Edmonton had donated money on her behalf, to do research. I thought tht was so thoughtful of them, and nice to know that something was done in Pernod's name!

Thanks again, guys. I so miss her 

Jan


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## SOOOSKA

Jan I'm thinking about you and Johnat this time.

Hugs to both of you.

Susan:hug:


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## Pet_Bunny

*LuvaBun wrote: *


> Shadow and Jester are on a major hate trip at the moment - couldn't even keep them in the same room last night, as they were fighting through the bars.


So sorry the two aren't getting along. They need time to reacquaint themselves after their stay with me. I kept them apart to keep them safe and didn't want them to get injured while they were at my house.

Pebbles and Bebe are fine. But Pebbles misses Shadow as she would sit by herself in the run with Bebe. Bebe wouldcome by, chin Pebbles and run off again.


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## JimD

:hug1


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## Flashy

Sorry, I gender-fairied her. I was more than happy to help because it was such a simple thing that could have potentially made a world of difference, but it has definitely put Pernod into my heart.

I wonder if maybe Shadow and Jester are picking up on the sadness that you feel, and acting accordingly to that? Maybe with time they might settle again.

That's really lovely about the donation that was made in Pernod's name  I guess it means that even though she went through some really rough and horrific times, maybe some other bunny might benefit from what she went through. That's such a bittersweet thing, but maybe with time it might being you some comfort and peace inside.

Hang in there 

x


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## juliew19673

I'm so sorry to see Pernods passing - I truly feel your loss as I such a fan of Pernods. You and your bun had such a vocabulary - soul mates you were to each. What a great relationship you both had - feel good about that.. Hugs...


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## Pet_Bunny

One year ago Pernod lefther bonded mate Shadow and Mommy to join Perryand Fudge at the Bridge. ink iris:








Binky FreePernod. :headflick:


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## Flashy

I hope you're binkying free Pernod.

That's so random that it's today though because I was thinking about how long it took me to find the right pellets and send them over to you. I was very glad to hear you enjoyed them when they arrived because it made all the hunting worthwhile 

Look after yourself Pernod. And look after Perry too x


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## Pipp

:hug1 :missyou :rip: :bunnyangel2:


sas :sad:


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## Nancy McClelland

Such a cute little Dutch girl. Binky free.:sad::headflick::angel::missyou:rip:


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## Bunnys_rule63

Oh little Pernod, it still makes me sad to know that you aren't with us anymore.Iconsider it a privilege to have met such a special bunny.

I hope you are ok today, Jan.:hug:


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## LuvaBun

Thank you for remembering my special little girl :hug:

I was going to post earlier, but didn't quite feel up to it - today has been pretty rough .

I can't believe a whole year has gone by without my Pernod. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think of her, and wish she was here, being her Diva-ish self, and generally ruling the roost. 

Pernod, I miss you so much, little girl. Things just aren't the same, and I know Shadow still misses being bossed around by you. I hope you are happy, and that you found Perry at The Bridge. That's my only consolation, that you two will be back together again. Sometimes I just feel like giving up and joining you two, and Fudge, there. Please wait for me, sweetheart. Binky and play 'til your heart's content, and just remember how much you are missed and loved.

God Bless.

Love, mummy, daddy and Shadow xxx


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## DeniseJP

*slavetoabunny wrote: *


> Your tribute made me cry and then the pictures made me smile. Pernod was such a special bunny. Goodbye sweet girl.ink iris:



Same here - what a beautiful bunny she was.



Binky free with Perry... hugs to Jan...:hug:

Denise


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## Elf Mommy

Webkinz made a signature Dutch Bunny stuffed animal. I purchased one and named it Pernod. You are the first bunny that comes to my mind and heart when I think of Dutch Rabbits. You are still thought of with love, Pernod!


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## Nancy McClelland

ray:


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## LuvaBun

:hugsquish:Oh Minda, thank you so much! It's such a comfort to know that my little girl was special to others, as well as me.

There is literally not one day goes by that I don't think about her. I especially miss the way she used to 'talk' all the time, and how she always made her presence felt. And I think the relationship she and Perry had will never be matched!

I will have to check out the Webkinz bunny.

Jan

ps - I know you'll remember it's pronounced PerNO not PerNOD


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## Haley

Just wanted to drop in and say Ive been thinking of Pernod. 

I recently rescued a very sweet dutch girl for Max and Basil. She is a beautiful orange color. Every time I see a black dutch I think of sweet Pernod. She was so special to us all!


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## LuvaBun

Two years later, I still miss you, my little girl 

There isn't a day goes by when I don't think of you - and Perry and Fudge too. You will always be in my heart.

Love you, Pernod!

Mummy xxxxx


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## Pet_Bunny

It brings back so much memories, just as it was like yesterday.

I would of loved to see Pebbles giving Pernod Bunny Kisses.

:cry4: :hug2:


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## TinysMom

Two years already? Really?

Wow...it seems like it wasn't that long.

Binky Free Pernod.


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## LuvaBun

Thanks, Haley, Stan and Peg :hug:

It does help, knowing Pernod touched other people, too.

Peg, I can hardly believe it's been two years either. Sometimes, I'm sure she is lurking somewhere around, checking up on us.

Jan


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## Nancy McClelland

still sorry for your loss of your special girl. Today is two years since our little "Commander Bun-Bun" went to the bridge too.


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## LuvaBun

Well, my little girl, today it's 3 years since you left us to go to The Bridge . 

I still think of you every day, and talk to you, Perry and Fudge. I know you are watching over us, and brought Bonnie into our lives - thank you for that!

I miss you, Pernod, and always will.

Lots of Love from Mummy, Daddy and Shadow


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## Pet_Bunny

I still remember when I met you Pernod. Time just keeps marching on, but you were special to me.

Hugs Pernod. :hug:


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## Nancy McClelland

ink iris:


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