# RIP Ollie :,( you were the most special bun I ever met



## olliefolyfe (Feb 14, 2014)

As I type this I am having a melt down. My sweet bun Ollie passed away yesterday. He was only 2. I had to move to memphis from baltimore and my friend who had spent a lot of time with Ollie had been watching him for the past 6 or so months and I was going to pick him up next month. Yesterday my friend texted me saying Ollie had been acting lethargic early in the day then wouldn't eat. He had to take him to the emergency vet because there was a snow storm and all other vets were closed. When he got there the vet tech said the vet was in surgery and went to put him in a more comfortable cage. He died before my friend even got a chance to see him again. I'm devastated because he hasn't seen me in months and probably thought I abandoned him :,( I feel awful. The vet was busy so I don't even know the cause of death. The get tech said it could've been a stroke. We both took really good care of him so I'm shocked. I wish I could've at least seen him one last time  it's killin me. RIP Ollie, nothing or no one could ever replace your role in my life




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## olliefolyfe (Feb 14, 2014)

I meant to post these pictures


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 14, 2014)

The pictures of him at the vet are from when my friend took him to be neutered about a month ago


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## Nancy McClelland (Feb 14, 2014)

We're so sorry for your loss. We recently lost two of ours--Molly, the oldest rabbit we've ever known of and Finn who wasn't quite 3 yet. With Molly, we'd been expecting it, but Finn was fine that morning and running all over and early that evening when I went in to check on everyone, he was gone. Don't beat yourself up, it just happens. Rest in peace little man and binky free with our boy Finn.


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## juliemaye (Feb 14, 2014)

Oh no! I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet can be one of the most difficult things we, as humans, endure. The kind of unconditional love, laughter, and fun they provide us, is just undeniably one-of-a-kind. Unfortunately, each of our friends we meet, has his time. We never fully understand why they must be taken away - some so old, some so young, but I promise everything happens for a greater reason - as hard as that is to believe, right now.

Please take peace in knowing that Ollie was not abandoned, or neglected. Unlike some owners, you ensured he was in great care, and were prepared to bring him back home when circumstances were better suiting. Every move you, and your friend, made were in the best interest of Ollie.

If you need anyone to talk to, drop me a line. 

Sending you big, warm hugs to get you through this very difficult time in your life. <3 HUGS xxxx


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## Aubrisita (Feb 14, 2014)

I am so sorry to hear about your Ollie. The loss of a bun is hard, but it is doubly hard when it is so unexpected. Please don't beat yourself up about, you made sure Ollie was in good hands. He was loved and taken care of. When it is time to go, it is time to go. I have learned that recently with the unexpected loss of my boy Stache. Big, big hugs to you and your friend. Binky free Ollie. <3


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## evilhare (Feb 14, 2014)

Sorry to hear of it... sounds like a great rabbit.


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## Tammy B (Feb 14, 2014)

:imsorry: I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Ollie...He sounded like an awesome bun...I don't think you being away caused him any worry he sounds like he was doing good up to the point he got sick.Rabbits i have learned in my short time being a bunny mom is that anything can happen to these fragile lil guys and it happens very quickly.I am postive that Ollie knew you loved him and that he was your whole world.


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## lovelops (Feb 14, 2014)

I'm sorry to hear of Ollie passing. I'm in Maryland also and know how bad the snow was yesterday so it was a miracle at all anything was open even emergency vets to get him to. I would not worry about him thinking you had abandoned him. I don't think he would have thought that at all. I've had some pass on me overnight and appeared to be healthy. It really is a shock and you sit and think of all the things you think you could have done but that is a waste of time and energy. Whenever I read about someone's bun passing and it's unexpected or there had been no warning signs at all, it reminds me of the line from Blade Runner, or if your a fan of the book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep:

Deckard: [narrating] Gaff had been there, and let her live. Four years, he figured. He was wrong. Tyrell had told me Rachael was special. No termination date. *I didn't know how long we had together... Who does?*

Which although I'm not huge Sci-Fi fan I always thought that summed up our time with everyone and everything here. We never have an idea who long we have with anything or anyone including our buns.. We just try to enjoy the time we have together and make the most of it and you did that, while you couldn't be here, you had someone else keeping a careful eye on him and that was all you could do and that was the best for him. There is no guilt in that.

Another line from Blade Runner from Roy Batty/Rutger Hauer

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time... to die.

I liked the analogy that all the moments/memories were going to be lost like tears in rain, because they only lasted 4 years. There was something a bit sad about that.. 

However, the memories you had with Ollie will never be lost like tears in rain. They will be with you forever.

Vanessa 

Now for something to hopefully make you smile a stupid joke because we all need stupid jokes when our hearts are hurting to make us forget for a moment, no matter how brief:

An elephant and an alligator were walking through the swamp. Suddenly the elephant sees a turtle in front of him, grabs him with his trunk and throws him over the trees. 
The alligator asks the elephant: "Why did you do that?" 
The elephant replies, "Fifty years ago I was walking through here and that turtle bit me right on the trunk." 
The alligator says "Fifty years ago? You have some memory. Are you sure it's the same turtle?" 
"Yes," said the elephant, "I have turtle recall."


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## Tauntz (Feb 14, 2014)

I'm so sorry for your loss of your sweet Ollie. It is even harder to lose a beloved "pet" when you are away! I know it happened to me. Ollie knew you loved him & I'm sure you explained to him why you were leaving him with your friend for awhile. Believe me, animals are smarter & understand more than humans think! Maybe they don't understand the same as we do but they understand. My heart is breaking for you & I will be praying for the pain of Ollie's loss to ease & leave you with those sweet memories of your happy times with Ollie.


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 15, 2014)

Thank you all so much for your kind words, tales of your sweet bunnies, and your input. I honestly feel A LOT better now that I have read all your replies and each one truly helped me feel more at ease with this terrible situation. Especially the Blade Runner reference, lovelops! I really appreciate all the love, positivity, support, help, and knowledge this website has provided!


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 15, 2014)

As crazy as this sounds, I don't think I'd be able to get another bun. It'd just make me think of Ollie & miss him too much  He really was so special and EVERYONE he met instantly became obsessed


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 15, 2014)

Another positive way of looking at things, Ollie only lived 2 years, but he enjoyed his time on this planet to the FULLEST. I ALWAYS had him out of his cage for fear of him feeling trapped or bored. My friend did the same, both of us are homebodies therefore had Ollie out most of the day. He got plenty of hay, veggies, attention and love so I'm glad he at least had a quality life.


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## Azerane (Feb 15, 2014)

I am terrible sorry to hear of your loss. May he rest in peace.


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 15, 2014)

Thank you so much


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## lovelops (Feb 15, 2014)

olliefolyfe said:


> As crazy as this sounds, I don't think I'd be able to get another bun. It'd just make me think of Ollie & miss him too much  He really was so special and EVERYONE he met instantly became obsessed




I hope you are feeling a little bit better and there was a typo in my post, who should have been how... I'm still taking pain meds for my ribs so I'm not 100% yet so please excuse me, but...

I'm glad you understood what I was getting at.. I said the same thing when Buttons died. 

I thought I was going to get rid of ALL my animals, become a hermit, read the Bible cover to cover, chant until I reached enlightenment, etc... I would not have any more animals because my heart broken and still in some ways is.. because Buttons *was*special, in the same way you are saying Ollie was. I can't think about him now without getting misty and he died in 2010 when I was still working at Goddard. He was the joy of my life, honestly. If God came down and said, ok Buttons can come back and live as long as you live or your husband, no if ands or buts, BUTTONS is the number one choice. Hands down. He was with me before hubby... so yes, I would throw husband under the bus.. I wouldn't even have to think about it. Everyone that met Buttons loved him. Sure, he took a little bit to warm up to you, but if you were worth it, it was worth winning his trust! 

However, after a week or so after he died, and especially after sitting in bed just about neglecting all my other pets, my husband said those magic words 

'now you are NOT going to go out and get any more animals, right? After all these guys die we are not going to have any more pets, ok?' 

I was ok for a bout a week or so and then felt an odd void. Sure, I had other pets, but Buttons after all was special. He was a gem in a world of rocks and there was a void that I could feel, an itch I could not scratch. I couldn't place my finger on it. 


I suddenly found myself going on Petfinder and found Scrappy which was a dead ringer for Buttons (but sure not in anything else especially temperment..other than looks) and VOILA... I gave Scrappy a home within a week. I snuck him into the house past the dogs and hit him in the back room. I had him on the bed with me when my husband walked in and saw him and was like WTF is that on the bed with you? Another animal??????!!!!!

Same thing with Chico and Chica whose mother died with two other kits. First rabbit I had in my life. Honest!! almost two years ago. Everyone was like keep it outside so I did. (never again)

It was rabbit surprise like Tammy B on here. You get one rabbit and wind up with 4 more free! (Pregnant) After day 4 with the babies, I go to check up on them. Mother, Dead. 2 of the kits. Dead. Chico is missing half his left foot. Chica is alive no problems. I freak out and run around screaming... WTF? 

I had to raise the two that lived Chico and Chica by hand. They will be 2 years old in June.

"Now after they die we are not adding any MORE rabbits ok?" My husband said again when they are kits a month old.

"Sure" I respond, not paying him any attention as I normally do.

Fast foward to November of 2013. A friend sends me a photo of a rabbit who I've come to know as Brooke in a carrier, looking scared, there is something primal and frightened about her demeanor. I can see it in her eyes. She's terrified.

I can't get that photo of her out of my head. I feel compelled to write the people trying to get her out of the animal shelter because in 3 days the shelter is going to put her and this Broken Holland Lop named LADY to sleep.

I cross my fingers and pray and hope someone will pick them up. I mean, after all they are rabbits. Rabbits are cute and cuddly. 

I take care of my two Chico and Chica in the meantime but can't get these two out of my head. I keep checking the web page. No takers. They are about to be put down. I start getting strange feelings in my stomach. 

Down to day one. 24 hours before Lady and Brooke are going to be put down.
(Side note: Brooke was thrown in the street by who ever owned her. Lady was brought to the shelter at 8 months and told by the owner put her down or do whatever. We don't have time for her.. (ass**les..)

I breathe hard and do something I know that is going to start World War III in my house. I write the rescue and say I will take BOTH of the rabbits and please go get them before they are put down. 

I have no idea where in the hell I'm going to put them, but I'm not going to let them get killed, no way. I did not tell my husband either. I was going to let it be a surprise! November 7 2013 the transporters got Lady and Brooke to me from Tenn. I think it was good decision. Sure, maybe we are short on space, but who isn't. 

I know about the grief angle. I lived it a good couple of times. I freaked out when Buttons died and threw the biggest fit in the Emergency Vets we took him to when they said they could not bring him back and tried. I must have scared the sh*t out of everyone in there with screaming and crying. I was more composed when my mother died, believe it or not and I said the exact same thing you said when Buttons died. 

What I personally learned was never say never. TIme heals all wounds, is a bit cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason, because they have an anchor in truth... so it will heal yourself also maybe not 100%.. maybe not to the point where you were before.. but in time there is a slow steady healing that comes even though it doesn't feel like it now. And when you hit that point is when you will feel like you are ready for another animal. And if that point never comes, then it doesn't. 

But if it does it will be a great thing for the animal/s that enters your life. I can tell from how you lived and loved Ollie.

Vanessa


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 15, 2014)

I completely relate to the story you've shared about Buttons. (By the way, Ive always wanted a bun names buttons ever since I was a kid!) I just felt this really strong connection with Ollie. & it was more close than any other human or animal interaction id ever had. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was in Baltimore and I lived alone. I didn't have a tv or computer for a long portion of my time there. Ollie was my EVERYTHING. Plus, I had always wanted a rabbit as a child and my mom would say no. I researched so much about buns. I remember when learning about them how complex & fragile they are and how many things they need nutritionally & otherwise they need to stay alive. I forgot about how many sicknesses they're prone to & thought Ollie was invincible. Anywho, I think it's so sweet that you took those buns in regardless of the circumstances to keep them alive. I would do the exact same thing. It truly saddens me how many people abandon & mistreat their buns  I feel a lot better after reading your experiences and I appreciate your reply!


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## lovelops (Feb 15, 2014)

I forgot to put in my post that I wanted to let you know you got a friend down here in the Andrews AFB Area, and if you are back in the Baltimore , or whenever you are back in the area, we can get together sometime and have lunch or get together and chat. You're maybe 45 minutes away. We can get together and talk personally. It's your call.

Baltimore at times ain't too friendly, I'm sure Poe would agree with me! I had some friends that moved up there.. and know everyone can't live at Fells Point and it can appear to be very cliquish at times depening on what area of town people live in. 

I've got Lady over here hiding under the laptop table as I work on this! I'm just thinking about how different my life
would be if I had *not* taken her in. BTW, my husband the person who kept saying No more animals, no more rabbits that raised hell when Brooke and Lady got here, now talks to them in Spanish Baby talk!! (Think of a Peruvian Ricky Ricardo) So while he raised holy hell the first few days they were here, I can tell her really loves her from how he keeps waking me up every morning around 6am to show me what she is doing in the kitchen and telling me to be quiet so she won't hear us!) 
And also how he said any other rabbits we get have to get along so we can have them all play together.. so what happened to no more rabbits??? 

Feel better.. take deep breaths.. know you gave Ollie a good life.. he had a very full two years... (and Buttons was fragile also and had a blood condition, von wilderbrands disease which is rare in dogs, cats, and rabbits. ) and thinking about it
going back to Blade Runner, 4 years was all the replicants had to live!

Think about it. They thought they were human and had lived a full 20, 30, 40 years in a 4 year time period and had 'fake memoires' to back up their 'life'. 

(Just an FYI: Blade Runner was the first Betamax Tape I had, and it was on sale at a video place named Erols in Maryland. We couldn't afford many so the ones we had we would watch over and over again. I bought it because it was the only video they had for sale for the Betamax. Economy not a great love of Ridley Scott, Harrison Ford, or Philip K Dick caused me to buy the video!) 

Deckard: Leon!
Leon: How old am I?
Deckard: [after slugging Leon, to no effect] I dunno.
Leon: My birthday is April 10, 2017. How long do I live?
Deckard: Four years.
Leon: More than you! Painful to live in fear, isn't it?

Tyrell: We began to recognize in them a strange obsession. After all, they are emotionally inexperienced, with only a few years in which to store up the experiences which you and I take for granted. If we gift them with a past, we create a cushion or a pillow for their emotions, and consequently, we can control them better.
Deckard: Memories! You're talking about memories!

At least your great memories of Ollie are indeed *real* and 2 very full years of special memories of the both of you in Baltmore together!!!


( I remember watching the scene with Leon and Deckard and thinking 2017 was like 100 years in the future. Now it's almost here!!! Who would have thought!!!!!

Vanessa


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## Chrisdoc (Feb 16, 2014)

He certainly sounded like a special little guy and you must be heartbroken he's gone so quickly. I think our first reaction when we lose a beloved pet for a better word, I mean they are so much more; friend, companion, shoulder to cry on, sounding board, family and so much more. We get so used to them being there we forget their lives are so much shorter than ours. Makes me think of the film The Green Mile where Paul Edgecomb the tom hanks character looks back and says that it's hard knowing that you will have to say goodbye to everyone you love as they will all go before you and that's his curse...love that film by the way. Anyway what I'm trying to say in a bit of a long winded way is we all will probably have to say goodbye to pets we adore and even though we know it will happen it's always far too soon. That's why now I take loads of photos and videos of my boys and they will always be there when I want to spend time with them. After my little dog who I had for 17 years I said never again and here I am with my three boys. We never know when another furry bundle is going to make us change our mind, only you can decide that. I hope you feel that some day you will see another little bun who will steal your heart.


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 16, 2014)

lovelops said:


> I forgot to put in my post that I wanted to let you know you got a friend down here in the Andrews AFB Area, and if you are back in the Baltimore , or whenever you are back in the area, we can get together sometime and have lunch or get together and chat. You're maybe 45 minutes away. We can get together and talk personally. It's your call.
> 
> Baltimore at times ain't too friendly, I'm sure Poe would agree with me! I had some friends that moved up there.. and know everyone can't live at Fells Point and it can appear to be very cliquish at times depening on what area of town people live in.
> 
> ...



I would love to get coffee or lunch! It would be hard going back to Baltimore & being forced to think of all the memories of Ollie & I together. Oh lord here I go again tearing up  I keep having to fix my make up these past couple days. The only reason I was going back to MD was to pick up Ollie and bring him back. I'm thinking about going anyways just so I can visit my friend because I know this has been really hard on him. He was as close to Ollie as me and we were both probably a little too obsessed with him lol. I just feel so guilty that I never got to see him again. I remember handing him to my friend before I left in his cage feeling so guilty and sad because he probably felt like "AGAIN?" "am I not good enough for her to keep me? (I got him off craigslist from a family who didn't have time for him) I just feel awful cuz he went from place to place and I know he couldn't understand me but I used to tell him I'd always be there for him :,(

Your husband sounds sweet. It sounds like he truly cares about buns and their happiness! I also agree about Baltimore being cliquey! I gave up on meeting cool female friends at one point. Back to Blade Runner, I feel like that movie is one of the best of all time. It's funny because at one point I had to get rid of a lot of my movies and books and blade runner was one of the 5 or so DVDs I kept because I can watch it over and over & it never gets old. Theres so much great symbolism included in that movie.& I really am glad I have so many vivid memories of Ollie that are dear to my heart. Isn't it funny how different "the future" actually is from how it was once envisioned?!

Stephanie


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 16, 2014)

Chrisdoc said:


> He certainly sounded like a special little guy and you must be heartbroken he's gone so quickly. I think our first reaction when we lose a beloved pet for a better word, I mean they are so much more; friend, companion, shoulder to cry on, sounding board, family and so much more. We get so used to them being there we forget their lives are so much shorter than ours. Makes me think of the film The Green Mile where Paul Edgecomb the tom hanks character looks back and says that it's hard knowing that you will have to say goodbye to everyone you love as they will all go before you and that's his curse...love that film by the way. Anyway what I'm trying to say in a bit of a long winded way is we all will probably have to say goodbye to pets we adore and even though we know it will happen it's always far too soon. That's why now I take loads of photos and videos of my boys and they will always be there when I want to spend time with them. After my little dog who I had for 17 years I said never again and here I am with my three boys. We never know when another furry bundle is going to make us change our mind, only you can decide that. I hope you feel that some day you will see another little bun who will steal your heart.



That is very true and I tried to pretend that Ollie was different & he'd live forever.  I think I subconsciously knew this could happen though because I always tried to take as many videos and pictures as I could to try and capture every aspect of him and his cuteness. (Kind of like what you do w/ your little guys!) I love that movie too and that is such a wonderful quote. I just need to realize death is a part of life and one of the aspects of life we have no control over. It just hurts me that I wasn't there for his final moment and that he thought I just gave him away when I reality I was coming back for him and had been looking forward to it from the moment we separated :,( I hope I do get nother bun someday! But it will be hard because NOTHING (not even another person) could compare to my bond/love w/ Ollie. I am trying to stay positive though and I really appreciate your reply!


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## lovelops (Feb 16, 2014)

Stephanie,

(first off my keyboard is messed up.. and leaving off letters... so please excuse any typos... and that goes for anyone else reading this...)

Anytime you get back in the state and feel like getting together is fine with me. I'll send you my details in a PM..
And PLEASE do not feel that way about Ollie and thinking he was thinking this or that or the other. He was probably thinking
Oh boy, I get to stay with mom's friend and get away with murder and get to eat treats she won't give me! And you *were* there for him. There's a couple of quotes that come to mind:

The death of someone 
is like
reading a book,
yet
having it end, where it wasn't supposed to. 
&#8213; Cindy Vo Nguyen

I just about feel like that's what happened here.. or most if not all people would say the same thing, including myself about Buttons and the death of my mother... and I find the following quote is how I feel about Buttons, my mom, etc:

Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here's what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it's still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt. Guilt because it's been too long since you missed them last. 
&#8213; Kristin O'Donnell Tubb, The 13th Sign

Those individuals that had Ollie prior probably kept him in a back room and treated him like he was a piece of furniture. You didn't. You made him an active part of your life and when you couldn't be there, your friend was as active as you with him. I mean hell, your friend took him out in a SNOW STORM we had here to get treatment. How many people would do that? Not too **** many I know. They would be flipping quarters.. Heads we go, tails.....

You made him an active part of your life and he *enjoyed it* and you've proved it with your photos you posted. Hell, you did more with him in 2 years that I did with my bunnies I've hand raised. I can't get nary a one in a harness. You would think I was trying to string them up and cook 'em! While he might have went place to place in the past, you were his perm home and he knew it. 

He felt it in his heart. 

He knew you were there for him even when you had to be somewhere else. 
Do not doubt it. 

Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept him from you. 
&#8213; Ally Carter, Out of Sight, Out of Time

You know, and that brings me back to Chris's post which is 100% true and hits the nail on the head and reminds me of this quote:

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
From an Irish headstone 
&#8213; Richard Puz, The Carolinian

As we all write to you we feel sorry for you and how you feel about Ollie, it always brings back to us our own animals mortality and that is painful. I've had to deal with three buns passing the same day, Buttons in 2010, his sister the year before (Don't even get me on that one... me and you will both be singing there's a tear in my beer) my father in 2011, my mother in 2005, my aunt one month before my dad in 2011, etc..and it reminds me that every animal I see sleeping on the floor or in their cages I will at some point in the future have to say goodbye to them as well and bury them beside the others in the yard which to put it in high school terms.. sucks! 

However, that is the price we pay for caring and loving. 

When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him 
&#8213; Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

If we never put our necks on the line. If we never step out of our comfort zone, if we never open our heart to other humans and other animals and allow these little fuzzy animals no matter if they are dogs, cats, rats, guinea pigs, rabbits, sugar gliders, etc or in that case other individuals into our environment, we would never experience the joys that they bring to our lives in the time no matter how long or brief that they are with us. We would have a life less full from them not being with us and interacting and growing with us and to me that would be far more painful then the sting of not having them with us any more. 

Now, my family being Southern my mother had this MORBID fascination of going to cemetaries and would drag me unwillingly with her. For some reason, she could not fathom that a teenagers idea of a good time was not visiting old Baptist cemetaries off the paved road. At this one cemetary in South Carolina was this one grave stone that every time I saw it would just PISS ME OFF. If I could go back there and kick it over I would. This was the grave stone of someone who was seriously seriously mad they were dead and I remember this clearly even though it has been over 20 years plus since I have been in that graveyard:

Remember friend as you walk by
as you are now so once was I
as I am now you soon shall be
prepare for death and follow me.

and I'm thinking NO WAY IN HELL you mean a** hole just because you died doesn't mean you have to remind everyone else
that we all are going to die also!!!!

To me this was NOT a positive tombstone with some cheery poetry, like' She is with the ages.. or she sings with the Angels' NO! This was a person that was really really mad they were dead and wanted everyone else to know they were dead, and you were going to be dead also, so get over it and start reading Checkov and get unhappy. 

To the contrary, I this this sums up Ollie and is a more positive view of death : 
He Is Not Dead

I cannot say, and I will not say
That he is dead. He is just away.
With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
He has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.
And youoh you, who the wildest yearn
For an old-time step, and the glad return,
Think of him faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here.
Think of him still as the same. I say,
He is not deadhe is just away. 
&#8213; James Whitcomb Riley

On a side note, I do love the movie Blade Runner from seeing it over and over on Betamax and what struck me was even though those *crazy* replicants raised hell in leaving from that Off world in killing 23 people was that they loved life and seemed to value it more than the humans. They hung onto their memories like a life raft. It really is funny how the future is different from how I thought it was be in the 80's when I first saw the film. Hell, I'm still waiting for the Jetsons cars!! Where are they at!!! We've been had! Also the situation about the artificial animals in the book and film: "In the book, live animals are highly priced possesions, and the rarer the better. It is also considered a moral crime not to take care of and protect an animal. If you cannot afford a live animal, or the live animal you want is extinct, then a fake one is a good alternative." (also there was the fight that Ridley Scott got into with Harrison Ford as he wanted to make Ford's character a replicant also on the same level as Rachel and Ford fought him the entire time... there is the scene where both of their eyes have that gold/red glow that the replicants eyes have, Ford has blown it off saying he stepped into Sean Youngs' lighting by accident!) 

Pretty interesting! 

Hang in there, watch Blade Runner and remember the good and nothing else. To remember anything else except the good times with Ollie is just you un-necessarily torturing yourself and you don't need that...we have enought people around us to do that for us. We don't need to help them out! 


Vanessa


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## olliefolyfe (Feb 17, 2014)

lovelops said:


> Stephanie,
> 
> (first off my keyboard is messed up.. and leaving off letters... so please excuse any typos... and that goes for anyone else reading this...)
> 
> ...
















There's a couple more pics of him^^^


I'm just soo torn up that ill never see him ever again and I really do feel guilty. He and I became really close then I just handed him off. I let my friend Charlie who is a good natured hippie watch him for a couple months then my friend Josh took over until I was supposed to pick him up. (March) it was supposed to only be a month originally. Both the people who took care of him loved him very much. They both knew him well and/ or had watched him when I was out of town. He got handed to me (and spent a full year with me at 6 mo old) then my friend Charlie had him for a couple months then my friend Josh until present. 
I just feel bad that he was handed around after I had him the longest and promised him I wouldn't do that. He did have a great, enjoyable life. I appreciate what you said about me doing a lot with him. I really tried to give him a good life. I just hope I didn't cause stress by making him get attached then moving away on him :,(

Those are all wonderful quotes that truly sum up how I feel and put the situation into perspective. I am also so sorry to hear about the loss of Buttons, your other buns and the loss of your aunt, mother and father. & I really appreciate you helping me think about everything with a more healthy perspective. I understand emotions being brought up and whenever I used to read the rainbow bridge announcements I'd find myself becoming emotional thinking about what I knew I had to eventually face with Ollie. I always thought I'd be there with him when he'd pass. Holding him and giving him comfort that I was HIS owner and he would have closure. & that notion gave me a bit more relief when thinking about it. But the way it happened is just so much more terrible than I thought.  

Cemeteries have always put me on edge and I could understand that grave stone frustrating you! Way to make people uncomfortable ! That would disturb me a bit too. :O cemeteries can beautiful with all the trees and flowers so I can see someone else finding enjoyment in them. It's just not my thing lol! 

That James Whitcomb Riley quote does put a more positive spin on the situation. I am really trying my hardest to stay positive but I keep getting so **** emotional so it's difficult to put things into a healthy perspective. It's just so surreal for me. It took awhile for me to realize its really happening. I thought he'd be at least 7 or 8 when he'd pass away. I'm totally going to watch blade runner and a lot of other great movies to try and keep positive. Thank you so much for all your kind words, and your input.  it is much needed! & it has made me feel a lot better!

Stephanie


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## lovelops (Feb 17, 2014)

Stephanie

I love the pics and you can tell he was so happy! That in itself should make you feel good inside he didn't pass away sitting in some animal shelter. He was with people who loved him and cared about him. Him with the shoes is precious! 

Please Stop feeling guilty. 

I felt intense guilt when my mother died. I kept thinking if only I had taken her to Georgetown Hospital the night before she would still be around. If only... You can't keep beating yourself up. 

I know easy to say, hard to do, but it's true. You all loved him. All his caretakers. You worked out what was best.

It's much better to be around people who care then people who think you are invisable, pet or human. He was showered with love. That's all any of our pets, friends, or anyone or anything that comes into our lives needs and deserves. He got what he needed. PERIOD. 

I could do the same on Buttons and the day he died I took him back into the vet and emergency vet TWICE. So if I had taken him the third time would he have lived? Maybe, but people were starting to think I was nuts. I was starting to stress him out. That wasn't my goal. 

We do not live knowing our expiry date or anyone else's.

I know it would make life so much easier, but we have to deal with not knowing. Hindsight is always 20 20. Ollie had a great life, had some great caretakers, and died surrounded by love. That is all any of us want. I played the same head game you are doing now when Buttons died, my other buns died, and my mother. Don't do it, and don't go there. We are masters of messing up our own minds. Shake it off, remember the good, and try to function. I know it's hard. It's not easy. It hurts.. but try.

&#8220;If, as a culture, we don&#8217;t bear witness to grief, the burden of loss is placed entirely upon the bereaved, while the rest of us avert our eyes and wait for those in mourning to stop being sad, to let go, to move on, to cheer up. And if they don&#8217;t &#8212; if they have loved too deeply, if they do wake each morning thinking, I cannot continue to live &#8212; well, then we pathologize their pain; we call their suffering a disease.
We do not help them: we tell them that they need to get help.&#8221; 
&#8213; Cheryl Strayed

Remember, life has to end, but love does not.

Life doesn't always end the way we think. 

I never thought I would get a call when I was at work that my mother died. That was not in my plans. I pictured her in a white fluffy bed surrounded by those who loved her, not hospital workers trying to bring her out of a code blue.
That's not the way I pictured her going. 

I never thought I would be the last one at the hospital bed telling them it was
time to take her to the morgue. That was *not* a scene I was prepared for at all. Life and death come and go in very different ways then we ever imagine. There is no dress rehearsal for it. If there were it would be so much easier, but
there isn't. There is never a convenient time to say good bye to anyone or anything. Everything happens so much quicker, and is much more unexpected then we ever imagine. We are always off guard even though we know we have no guarantee of tomorrow. We just expect it to come and when it doesn't we are shocked. 

No graveyards are NOT my thing and I don't visit my mom much to this day but I told her that before she ever died.
"Don't think I'm going to be bringing my ass to sit around some graveyard like you do." I told her. She just smiled and laughed. Graveyards are for the dead, not the living. 

Riley really had a nice idea about death, and I liked the analogy about them going to a far off land:

With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,
He has wandered into an unknown land
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since he lingers there.

You know, I had always gotten into trouble at school and always raised questions that could never be answered.
But I asked in the religious schools I went to (and got thrown out of) If God so loved the world, how can he stand
it when even one think he created died? 

Wouldn't the pain bother him horribly? How can he stand it day in and day
out with wars and fighting, and murders? Of course no one had an answer. I mean the
pain from Buttons still hurts from 2010. You know how you feel about Ollie. That magnified from
seeing all, feeling all and knowing all that die daily?? 

I've never seen anything addressing about God's pain over anything's death only that he could not
stand to see Elijah and Enoch die. (Genesis 5:24, Second Kings 2:11) and he let the devil mess with
Job but not enough to kill him (which was really sweet... not) Really? So everyone and
everything else is chopped liver and these two don't deserve death? I always had problems with that.
Maybe he'll strike me dead some day, but until that day comes, that seems a bit unfair. IF it's good
for one it's good for all. Either all die or none die. (That reminds me of the Kang and Kodos Simpsons Episode Treehouse of Horror 7 when they were running for a political office with their abortions for all, abortions for none line)

Kang: (as Dole) Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected.
Kodos: (as Clinton) Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.
Kang: (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all!
(Crowd boos)
Kang: Very well, no abortions for anyone!
(Crowd boos again)
Kang: Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
(Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.)

No God's favorates don't die, but Jesus and the rest of us...nah..Eternal life for some, death for others! Nah! 

Another thing is the issue of pets /animals in heaven. I can tell you, I've never hung around Jesus or God, but I sure have with dogs, cats, rabbits and hamsters. If they aint' going to be there, I'm going to have to reconsider eternity, no matter how stupid that sounds. Stone me now..

I'm going to order the new edition that came out of Blade Runner. I think my Betamax days are gone, and I can't find the copy I had in my DVD library!  OH well, there are worse things that could happen. I could die tomorrow!  

Vanessa


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