# Is anyone else older then they really are?



## undergunfire (Jul 25, 2009)

That is how I feel! Sometimes it really stinks in a way, like....

Ryan and I don't have many friends, and the ones we do have are "too young" for us. They like to party all the time and don't understand why we don't want to, most are single and always scoping out the next one, they don't understand married life at all, they want to waste their money on dumb things when we can't because we have responsibilities, they don't understand why Ryan can't just pack up and go touring with a band, etc.


I think this is a tough age. I'm almost 21 and Ryan is almost 20. There isn't many people our age who live like we do (mon-fri full time jobs, looking for a house & business to buy, like to have _A_ drink {not get drunk}, etc)...so it is hard to have friendships.

For example....we can't just go over to a friend's house our age to hang out or have a movie night because most of the "friends" that we do have still live with their parents...and if they don't...they don't want to sit home, they want to party.

It is also really hard to find girl-friends that I can get along with. Most girls my age are into shopping, music, dating, and whatever else (I don't even know what girls my age are usually into)...where as I am very into animals, sewing, and husband/serious relationship type stuff.

We do have friend couple (ages 20 & 25) that live 45 minutes away that we visit once every few months (its over the mountain and our car is crap and they don't have a car)...but I get along more with the guy friend (known him as long as I've known Ryan) then I do the girl-friend (we aren't into the same stuff, so our conversations are awkward).


I get rather lonely sometimes, no matter how much I don't totally enjoy hanging out with people (I have to be in the right mood). Sometimes on Friday nights Ryan will go work on recording his album with a producer and I will be sitting home alone wishing I had a group of girl-friends to "shoot the breeze" with while getting coffee or something.


So...does anyone else have this problem :??


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## Raspberry82 (Jul 26, 2009)

I feel exactly the same way!!

I'm only 26 but grew out of going to bars, partying, drinking, etc pretty early on. So I have a hard time being friends with people who only want to do that. I feel so old sometimes, lol.

My (now) ex and I didn't have a ton of friends either and mostly kept things simple and we were our best friends. I felt the same way many nights when he would go out with a friend, wishing I had some local girlfriends. Doesn't help much that I just moved to a new city only 3 months ago and the 2 friends I had via him are now "no-mans-land" for me now that we had a really bad break up .

I actually got on match.com to try and meet some new friends.. (until he starting getting drunk a lot :?) just put in my profile that I was only looking for friends/great people in the area, but the downside with that is you'll only meet guys. Hoping my new receptionist job might bring some nice adult friends into my life, but we'll see.


"It is also really hard to find girl-friends that I can get along with. Most girls my age are into shopping, music, dating, and whatever else (I don't even know what girls my age are usually into)...where as I am very into animals, sewing, and husband/serious relationship type stuff."

Ditto!!


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## undergunfire (Jul 26, 2009)

PHEW.....glad to know that I am normal. Sometimes I just don't feel like a normal person!

Don't get me wrong, it is great being on forums and having those types of friends that share the same interests....but sometimes I just feel like a loser with no friends :expressionless. I am also the type of person who doesn't like to "go out of my way" to meet people, so that might be my issue, too. I just have way too many panic/anxiety issues to walk up to random people and start talking.....unless it is older ladies at animal conventions, lol!!


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## Raspberry82 (Jul 26, 2009)

Lol, yeah I know the feeling! My adrenals are a mess, so I get these jittery issues sometimes if I feel stressed or nervous. It sucks! but yeah, it kicks up when I meet new people sometimes or get put in intimidating situations.


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## gentle giants (Jul 26, 2009)

I am that way too, guys. I just turned 28, and my best friend is in her fifties. She and I get along great, we both are crazy about animals, etc. I went through a brief spell of the whole shopping, wearing lots of make-up and designer clothes stuff when I was about 16-17, but it wore off quickly, LOL. And I never really got into the bar/party scene at all, I was usually the DD!


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## BethM (Jul 26, 2009)

I'm in a similar situation.
I'm about to turn 34, so I'm a bit older than you, Amy. However, I've felt older than my real age for quite a while.

In my youth, I was a serial monogamist. I preferred serious long-term relationships over dating. Now I'm married, and am just fine with it. The days I envy single people, it's not because I want to date around, it's because I want to be alone!

I am a total homebody. When I was in my early 20's, I did go out a bit, but not much to bars, more to small parties. And I always had to be nudged to actually go.
I'm also a loner. I am really bad at making conversation, so even if I wanted to be social, it doesn't really work out for me. As for drinking, I don't mind sometimes drinking more than I really should, but I hate going to bars! I prefer to drink at home. I can wear my pajamas and watch a movie, and it's WAY cheaper!! I also don't need a DD to get home, LOL!

I also feel like maintaining real-life friendships is more work than I usually care for. I've got stuff to do (clean rabbit cages, clean house, read, etc.) and I don't have time to go hang out. I like shopping, but only by myself. I want to be able to take my time when I want, and I don't want to go into shops that I don't want to go into.
My best friend lives in California. She and I mostly keep in touch over email/facebook/text messaging, and the occasional phone call. So we really only "talk" about stuff that either really matters, or is special in some way.

I read the New Yorker, while most people I am acquainted with read People or Cosmo or something like that. 

I've actually been like this my whole life. I stopped watching cartoons before I finished grade school, because I thought they were childish. I get really irritated at my SIL, whose favorite movies are ALL kids movies. (BTW, she is single and has no kids, so it's not like she's stuck watching this stuff.)


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## kirbyultra (Jul 26, 2009)

I started working part time at a firm in the financial industry at 20. Bought my first home at 23. Got married last year. I'm my parents' older child (of 2) by 6 years so my life carried a lot more burden than my brother... I don't get along well with kids. I don't get along well with many people older than me either (because I have a baby face and my voice is very high pitched, older people always treat me like I'm 16 years old and it p*sses me off because they don't know anything about me and make assumptions). 

I have only 2 really good girl friends, a few other friends I can hang out with but do find too immature to hang out with too often. I enjoy the company of a few colleagues who are at least 6 years older than me. I understand what you mean about feeling sort of like a loser. My husband is more or less the same way, we don't have many friends to hang out with. We don't enjoy the bar scene. I'd go once in a while just to do "face time" but not like I really enjoy it. 

I am throwing a birthday party for Kirby but I'm only inviting my colleagues who I consider my friends... because sadly that is largest group of people I can associate with. Wow I feel like a major loser right now.


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## BethM (Jul 26, 2009)

Oh, I have a work "friend" who tries to invite me out to the bar with her every so often. She is 2 years younger than me, and the only thing she likes to do in her free time is go to the bar. The worst thing is that she has 2 kids, both under 8, but she and her husband are out at the bar at least two nights a week.
I want to hit her over the head, because she really should be home taking care of her kids and not out at the bar all the time.

I also don't get on well with kids. At all.


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## ohsnapitscharity (Jul 26, 2009)

well im 15 and ive had to grow up fast these past two years practicly raising my little sister because of my mom so...i get how you feel (except in an opposite way)...i wonder if that made since


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## kirbyultra (Jul 26, 2009)

*BethM wrote: *


> Oh, I have a work "friend" who tries to invite me out to the bar with her every so often. She is 2 years younger than me, and the only thing she likes to do in her free time is go to the bar. The worst thing is that she has 2 kids, both under 8, but she and her husband are out at the bar at least two nights a week.
> I want to hit her over the head, because she really should be home taking care of her kids and not out at the bar all the time.
> 
> I also don't get on well with kids. At all.



Yikes. I know some folks like that too. But I don't judge... I can't stand the kiddos so bless them for having kids of their own. Actually it's not that I can't stand them. I seems like they can't stand me and then they just get me so upset and annoyed as a result. :grumpy:


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## ChandieLee (Jul 26, 2009)

My boyfriend and I are going through something similar Amy.
I'm 22 and my boyfriend, Kit is 21. Most of our friends, who are about the same age, looooove to party and they don't understand why we won't go out and party with them. Since we pretty much prefer to stay home and spend time with each other and the bunnies, most of our friends have actually ditched us... I don't hang out with girls often either, mainly due to the same reasons; they love to shop and gossip, where-as that's really not my thing. I like to paint, read and sing . I also find that most of the girls that I meet are very catty and mean. :
Kit and I have actually recently moved (the reason why I haven't been on the forum) and made a friend in our 50 year old neighbor.


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## BethM (Jul 26, 2009)

*kirbyultra wrote:*


> Yikes. I know some folks like that too. But I don't judge... I can't stand the kiddos so bless them for having kids of their own. Actually it's not that I can't stand them. I seems like they can't stand me and then they just get me so upset and annoyed as a result. :grumpy:


If you don't judge people like this, you are a better person than I am!

I am the one that can't stand kids! I've got things to do, I don't have time to play kiddie games or whatever.


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## kirbyultra (Jul 26, 2009)

That's why buns are best. No time for kid psychology. I'd rather deal with a rabbit. At least buns seem to understand. 

I'm 26, btw. Forgot to mention that in the first post.


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## kirbyultra (Jul 26, 2009)

BethM wrote:


> *kirbyultra wrote:*
> 
> 
> > Yikes. I know some folks like that too. But I don't judge... I can't stand the kiddos so bless them for having kids of their own. Actually it's not that I can't stand them. I seems like they can't stand me and then they just get me so upset and annoyed as a result. :grumpy:
> ...



I mean I don't judge their decision of lifestyle. Some people don't change their lives and interests just because they have kids. As long as the children are properly cared for I wouldn't say that they're inadequate in the parental dept. Not without knowing more facts anyway. Some peopleout theredo have kids and party too much and the kids suffer as a result and that is NOT ok.


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## undergunfire (Jul 26, 2009)

*I am going to be annoying and quote everyone in different posts because I don't know how to quote in the same post :?.

BethM wrote: *


> I am really bad at making conversation, so even if I wanted to be social, it doesn't really work out for me. As for drinking, I don't mind sometimes drinking more than I really should, but I hate going to bars! I prefer to drink at home. I can wear my pajamas and watch a movie, and it's WAY cheaper!! I also don't need a DD to get home, LOL!
> *I am also bad at making conversation...I used to just make things awkward (not on purpose) by cracking a joke over something that the other person didn't end up thinking it was funny. It is sad because I am a New Yorker...I can be a loud obnoxious weirdo and these Arizona people don't have much of a sense of humor (everyone seems to stuck up here). Now I just keep my mouth shut. I hate talking to people in public...I don't even like to talk to cashiers ringing me up.
> 
> I also like to have a drink at home while watching a movie or sitting outside looking at the stars/having a conversation on the back deck with Ryan.
> *





> I also feel like maintaining real-life friendships is more work than I usually care for. I've got stuff to do (clean rabbit cages, clean house, read, etc.) and I don't have time to go hang out. I like shopping, but only by myself.
> *Exactly! I have a lot of stuff to do around the house (something always needs to be done!)*.* I also feel like if I had friendships, I would be involved in more then I want to be involved in...if that makes sense. I then will have someone else's issues to deal with. I like to keep things simple and I am not the type who will initiate an outing. It is just that sometimes I feel like I want to go out for coffee or something and have "girl talk"...but then it would need to be with the right person or else I would turn negative and want to leave. I am really odd like that. Sometimes I feel like finding a friend or two is a lot like trying to find a boyfriend...LOL!*


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## undergunfire (Jul 26, 2009)

*ChandieLee wrote: *


> Most of our friends, who are about the same age, looooove to party and they don't understand why we won't go out and party with them. Since we pretty much prefer to stay home and spend time with each other and the bunnies, most of our friends have actually ditched us...
> *We had this problem too. After the wedding a lot of Ryan's friends stopped asking him to come out because he told them that he didn't want to go party all the time (he only went rarely beforehand). By the term "party" I mean less then 20 people usually. They all used to just hang out in their band's (they aren't a band anymore for other reasons) practice space and shoot the sheet like guys do. Well, they still do it....but they don't ask Ryan to come anymore. I think it really hurt Ryan's feelings....but it was also a wake up call for Ryan because he now knows they aren't really friends.
> 
> A lot of those friends were jerks, anyway. I don't think they really liked me all that much because I "took Ryan away" when really Ryan and I had been together for longer then he knew most of these guys. Plus...they are jerk guys in bands (typical man hoes).
> ...


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## pamnock (Jul 26, 2009)

There are a lot of ways you can get out and meet people with similar interests.. .

Volunteer - food drives, literacy programs, nursing homes, helping kids

Get involved - community politics, church, local clean up/beautification, animal rescue

Sports - Mountain biking club, volley-ball, etc.

Learn - adult education classes: cooking, home repair, First-aid classes

So much to do!

Pam


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## hartleybun (Jul 26, 2009)

you ladies are me over 20 years ago - im now 43. i can sympathise with you all. even when we had children and i decided that raising them was the most important career move i could make, the amount of comments that got me. i was seen as old fashioned. to make things worse i baked, sewed, knitted etc:shock:

my kids are in their teens now and all but two of those original friends are still together. the rest are divorced or still single and trying to act like the 20 somethings they once were. sad!

we have made new friends over the years - more like us! most days in our papers you can read stories about women my age who are just waking up to the fact that husband/children/ have passed them by, and how theyre regretting it cos now they're the ones who are left out.

stick with it! you have made your choice and if others have a problem with it - tough.

hugs to you all from a sewing/baking animal lover

a thought has just occurred that some people may think im a complete frump - ,we get stereotyped over here! no way - piercings, make up, cropped hair, fashionably dressed


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## JadeIcing (Jul 26, 2009)

Not far behind. My friends are in the have fun mode not settled down work a regular job and keep house.


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## paul2641 (Jul 26, 2009)

*undergunfire wrote: *


> PHEW.....glad to know that I am normal. Sometimes I just don't feel like a normal person!
> 
> Don't get me wrong, it is great being on forums and having those types of friends that share the same interests....but sometimes I just feel like a loser with no friends :expressionless. I am also the type of person who doesn't like to "go out of my way" to meet people, so that might be my issue, too. I just have way too many panic/anxiety issues to walk up to random people and start talking.....unless it is older ladies at animal conventions, lol!!


You just summed me up right in that post, I love forums but sometimes I feel like a loser as most of my friendships are throw the internet, with people I have never seen and more then likely never will. I have a good few friends but when it comes to outside school I would rather just spend money on my animals then going to cinema with friends and because of that I rarely get asked.

Till I was like 7 we never had a stable home so we were always moving every few weeks so I never really gained the ability to make or deal with people my own age so when I got into school I was just way to mature for any of the boys so most of my friendships were with girls, And now they are all into make-up and shopping I have little to relate with them. And none of the guys want to talk to me because I'm weird because all my friends are girls. I have two really good friends but rarely get to see them as we are all in separate schools so I get to see them maybe once a year. I just went to the cinema recently with them both on separate occasions and would love to see them again before summer is out but with my ankle it is very unlikely. And plus my sense of humour is totally different to most people my age. And I don't have the get up and go to join any clubs or anything like that to start socializing because I find it very hard to start talking to someone I don't no.

Oh and in Ireland you can't be different you have to were the generic cloths like or your a freak. I would love to die my hair purple and blue and get my ears and lip pierced but if I did so I would be a complete freak and all my "friends" bar one I believe would turn there back on me.


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## undergunfire (Jul 26, 2009)

*Paul....*there isn't others out there near you who have piercings & died hair? I think it stinks because you should be able to be who you want to be and look like what you want to look like....but I definitely understand being scared to take the step.

I think it is tough for me, too, because I have piercings and tattoos. A lot of the girls around here that have piercings & tattoos think they are totally awesome and are really into music and local shows and automatically think that I am into that stuff too because of how I look or dress....where as it is totally opposite! I like music, but I don't need it to "breathe" or use it to act cool.

And it is hard trying to find friends out here that DON'T smoke pot. It seems like everyone does...and I just don't want to be friends with those people.



*Pam....*I recently signed up as a volunteer at the local animal shelter, which was a huge step for me because I dreaded signing up, orientation, and mentoring...because of my panic/anxiety attacks. Everytime I have been there there has only been older people volunteering (not any people around my age). I go to PetSmart a few times a month on adoption days and talk with the ladies who are from the local cat rescue, but they are just people to talk to about cat things...not form close friendships with because they are all much older.

No offense, but church is a no go because I don't believe in it. I also find it hard to carry on conversation/be close friends with most religious people because we have majorly different views. It just never works out past a general conversation on a certain neutral topic. Everyone is different with how extreme they are...but I just haven't found anyone who can remain calm and not tell me I am wrong or need religion in order to solve my issues.

Definitely can't do sports (that requires working out, haha), I don't like working with other peoples children, elderly people don't ever like me, I don't have the money for adult education type classes. I wish I could horseback ride again as an activity to meet people....but alas, I don't have the money for it.


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## paul2641 (Jul 26, 2009)

*undergunfire wrote: *


> *Paul....*there isn't others out there near you who have piercings & died hair? I think it stinks because you should be able to be who you want to be and look like what you want to look like....but I definitely understand being scared to take the step.
> 
> I think it is tough for me, too, because I have piercings and tattoos. A lot of the girls around here that have piercings & tattoos think they are totally awesome and are really into music and local shows and automatically think that I am into that stuff too because of how I look or dress....where as it is totally opposite! I like music, but I don't need it to "breathe" or use it to act cool.
> 
> And it is hard trying to find friends out here that DON'T smoke pot. It seems like everyone does...and I just don't want to be friends with those people.


Nope your a freak if you have any colour other then blond put into your hair. And most of my friends are anti piercings because they think they damage your body, and those that don't mind piercings don't thinks guys should have them. I would love tattoo's when I am older but if I was to dress in what I would truly feel comfortable in I wouldn't be comfortable because everyone would class me a walking freak show. Ireland is very narrow minded alot of the people are horrible it ain't that beautiful picture you are painted were everyone is ginger and is very excepting of people Ireland finds it very hard to except anything especially people or there believes. Ask any Irish person what they feel about Polish people I can tell you it won't be anything pretty. If you think America isn't excepting come to Ireland and you will get the shock of your life.

And for a guy to have rabbits there complete freaks. Oh and there is very little activities available for me because the only activities on offer are sports and I'm not really your sporty type. I'm more of your animal book worm geek.


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## undergunfire (Jul 26, 2009)

Paul....wow, I didn't know Ireland was like that! I really wanted to visit one day because it looks beautiful on the country side...but I bet I'd be a "freaky tourist" .

I went to school with a guy that was really into books, drama (plays), and his only friends were girls. He got teased sooo much...but I look at him now a days and he has more friends then any of the jerks that used to tease him and call him gay and such.


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## pinksalamander (Jul 26, 2009)

I think people your age from my experience can be a bit 'inbetween'. I'm only young at 18, but I feel I have quite a few responsibilities that people my age don't. I buy the food and cook 99% percent of the time, I have a job, do my own washing, have to worry about running a car and looking after pets etc, but then I do like to do the young things people my age do, go partying, probably shop a bit too much and laze about the house when I should be doing other tasks. On one hand I think 21 still is quite young and you should probably still enjoy the time while you can, but then on the other hand you do seem as though you are a lot more mature than 21! It scares me to think I'm moving out in 2 months! But then I think compared to other people my age moving out I'm in a far better position, at least I know how to work a washing machine and cook a decent meal!


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## paul2641 (Jul 26, 2009)

*undergunfire wrote: *


> Paul....wow, I didn't know Ireland was like that! I really wanted to visit one day because it looks beautiful on the country side...but I bet I'd be a "freaky tourist" .
> 
> I went to school with a guy that was really into books, drama (plays), and his only friends were girls. He got teased sooo much...but I look at him now a days and he has more friends then any of the jerks that used to tease him and call him gay and such.


Oh and plus Ireland is the biggest rip off ever, If I was you and wanted a culture filled holiday I would go to south Africa. 

You soon get used to the idiots who think there all so cool crowding around to watch some "videos" God they will look back on that when there married and realise how stupid they were.


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## katt (Jul 26, 2009)

i can totally understand were everyone is comming from.

although i do go out every thursday to the bar, it is an older group that hangs there. i am more often then not treated like a daughter or granddaughter by most of the regulars. i am perfectly find with that as most have at least 20 to 30 years on me. (i am 22)

my party friends joke around with me that i am "one book away from being a spinster" because i like to stay home and read on friday nights then go out.

a lot of my not going out is based on my past of anxiety problems. i still get panic attacks if i go to a new place with lots of people. sometimes big superstores like walmart even get me. so going to clubs, parties, bars is hard for me to do.

i also have the problems of not having friends that are girls. i just get along better with guys. i don't have to deal with all the drama. but it does have its cost. having only 1 or 2 girls that i consider friends leaves me with next to nobody to talk to about "girl stuff". if i am having problems with a guy i am dating and i go to my guy friends to talk about it, it normally ends up with them wanting to "hurt the guy that made me cry" lol. or try meeting a guy at a social situation when you have all your friends (who happen to be all guys) lurking all over you saying stuff like "i don't like the way hes looking at you" or "your totally worth better then that". its nice to have that comfort zone with them, but it can be a little smoothering. sometimes i want a friend, not a protective brother.

so i basically hang out at home, living the life of an old lady with my cookbooks, romance novels, rabbit, and houseplants lol. i tell myself to get out more, to meet new people, and get in contact with friends that have slipped away, i just suck at doing it. loner to the core.


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## SunnyCait (Jul 26, 2009)

Mmm, same here! I'm 20 and my soon to be wife (weird to say that) is 21. We're total homebodies. I work, keep house, look after my pets and other people's pets, look after my son and younger sister, a roommate (who is also 20, LOL, and just like me), and plus have to work in time with Lex. Meanwhile, SHE is very career oriented, and works/ is at school all the time. That alone is a huge reason we don't go out too much. 

Our old friends from HS (we live where we graduated from) aren't on the same page. A few of them ARE married and live like we do, but we can't get enough time between us and them to really get together. The others are in their "We're young, we're gonna party" phase, which, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just not me. I like to get together with a few good friends, do random stuff. Then there are some friends (actually a good chunk of them) we lost touch with in light of our chosen lifestyle, which is a no-go in such a small rural town for the most part. Probably another reason we don't go out HERE even if we DO manage to magically get out of the house or work for 3 minutes. No one wants to try and have a nice evening out while you're being stared at, and you know that as soon as you walk out of the door you'll be talked about. 

My girl, my kid, my pets, my job. I'm good. LOL


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## BethM (Jul 26, 2009)

Paul, Ireland sounds like the town I grew up in!
In high school, I dyed my hair black, and wore goth-y make up and clothes. I was the town freak for awhile! Some people did stop talking to me, but my true friends stuck around. Turned out, those people who stopped being my "friend" weren't friends at all, and not worth my time. Personally, I think those types of people are the true losers, not anyone here.


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## myLoki (Jul 26, 2009)

Well, I think I act my age. I'm 23 and a fourth grade teacher. I work hard so that I can go back to school in a couple of years with minimal debt. I go out about once a week to a bar for a couple of drinks with co-workers or friends. I have a pretty balanced group of friends. I'm not currently dating anyone. I love my pets and I adore reading. I'm kind of lazy in the organization department in my home life, but I have everything categorized and labeled in my classroom. Oh... and NO BABIES! NO BABIES FOR A LONG TIME! I feel very strongly about that. One of my best friends is currently pregnant and it is so weird to me. On the other hand we're celebrating my other best friends birthday at Disney World. We're a weird bunch.I guess I'm just in that weird middle age where you're still a kid but are getting more responsibilities. 

:balloons:

t.


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## paul2641 (Jul 27, 2009)

*BethM wrote: *


> Paul, Ireland sounds like the town I grew up in!
> In high school, I dyed my hair black, and wore goth-y make up and clothes. I was the town freak for awhile! Some people did stop talking to me, but my true friends stuck around. Turned out, those people who stopped being my "friend" weren't friends at all, and not worth my time. Personally, I think those types of people are the true losers, not anyone here.


If I did that I might be left with no one people in Ireland don't really like to stand up to the crowd they just blend in, I may just stay apart of the crowd till I finish secondary school in three years then do all the crazy stuff I want, Because at that stage I would only be with people who I like not because I'm forced to school with them.


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## Aina (Jul 27, 2009)

In highschool I felt this way, and the first year of college was the same. I was homeschooled so I didn't have any school friends. We had a homeschool group but right as I began highschool all of my friends there moved off. My sibs and I are really close, but they are siblings. I love kids and animals and work with kids at church. Because of this I didn't really get into the youth group much. I mostly just sat in the corner watching people. I don't want kids any time soon though. I'm thinking maybe 10 years, but I have to find a guy and get married first. 

Now at college I am not much into missions, hate to travel, which is what the church group is about so I usually don't have many common interest with them. But I think getting drunk is stupid and don't do the whole partying thing.
A friend and I were talking about this the other day. He met me about a year and a half ago. At the time I was so introverted. 
But then I met the business team I am apart of and I have changed a lot because of them. There was an acceptance and camaraderie there that I haven't found elsewhere. But because of the nature of the business(direct marketing) I had to become a lot better at meeting people and stuff like that. They had the mixture of support yet pushing me to get out of myself that I needed. I have become a lot more confident in myself and outgoing since then. Still shy, but I can hold a normal conversation. It is nice to be apart of a team of people around my age who are also driven and business oriented. It took a lot of books like "Small Talk" and "How to have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People" before I was comfortable. Some people think self help books are for losers, but I can guarantee you that more CEOs read them than dishwashers.


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## Becca (Jul 27, 2009)

Woah this thread is spooky i was thinking bout this like yesterday i was talking to this man about it. i was saying i think i get on better with adults because people my age don't understand me.
I feel most people my age only see whats on the outside. Don't care whats inside. I get closer with adults than I do with teenagers.
The man I was talking to about it said I was very mature for my age and hes actually trusted me with something really important that he didnt' even tell his family and I was honoured about that and would never dare betray his trust because i don't want him to not trust me again.
I guess I just enjoy adults company better they understand me more. Yeh i like to have fun and do have fun with people my age but I like talking to adults better


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## Nancy McClelland (Jul 27, 2009)

Hey. I'm a little older (59), but I know how you feel. A few decades ago when I was in the Armed Forces, my mother wrote and told me she thought it was odd that I sent so much money home while my cousin was always writing home for money. Real simple--spend it all clubbing or save it and send it. Got married and bought a house two months later. We don't hang out in bars drinking--too expensive and too many drunk morons. We both continued our educations---between us we have six degrees--we both enjoyed school and looked at what an education could do for us. Larry is now retired (an engineer) and I am in School Administration. We own several properties and have been married for 35 years. It's called maturity. Some have it at and early age and others only gain chronological enhancement, and like Peter Pan, they never grow up. There is nothing wrong with having goals and working to achieve them. Far better to have direction in life than to wander aimlessly.


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## Serious (Jul 27, 2009)

Yup. I'm 21 and didn't even bother to drink on my 21st birthday. I have one good friend besides my animals, and I chose this electively. It's not shyness, I just like having more time to myself- to create, learn, and take care of my life. I'm very... uh, well- Serious, by comparison. As a kid, I liked to read dictionaries for fun, and I was only interested in "factual books" (which was kidspeak for non-fiction). I'd rather talk about ethics and creative things than "Oh my god did you know Janie is dating Pete nooo way he is sooo weeeird!" Since I'm in college, I do make an effort to blend in, mingle and make a good impression, but as soon as I can get away from the people and back in to my happy quiet world, I do. For whatever reason, even though I'm the youngest in my family, I somehow have become something of the family head. My parents will often discuss serious financial, housing, etc decisions with me and not so much with my older siblings. It's not that they keep it secret from them, but they just don't think to bounce it off of them. I still live with them, but that's because we were hit extremely hard by the economy and none of us can afford to do anything but tread water right now. It sucks- I'm chomping at the bit to get my own independent life but can't yet (and who knows when I can) while my two older siblings also stuck at home are very content to never grow up and seem just fine with having my parents take care of them.


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