# How to Prepare for a Loss...



## Katmais_mommy (Jul 31, 2011)

I just recently lost one of my boys, Dutch. It was devastating. 

Now, my heart bunny/best friend, Katmai, is in critical condition. Last week when I took him to the vet, Dr. Liz said to prepare for him to go if he doesn't get better, it will just progress. 

Yesterday, he was 90% better. Today, he took a turn for the worst. I don't have any money and now I am just trying to make him as comfortable as possible. The vet office is open tomorrow, and I'm going to ask about Metacam. 

Katmai is literally the love of my life. He's the reason I get out of bed every day. He's my little man. I love him to death. If I lose him, I'm never leaving the house. Or my bedroom. I'll hate myself forever if he goes. I dont want him to "binky free" on the rainbow bridge. It's not his time. 

I don't know how to or if I can prepare myself for this.


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## Nancy McClelland (Jul 31, 2011)

It's never easy saying goodbye. It doesn't matter if they've been with you a long or short time--there's never enough. We came into this knowing that they wouldn't be with us forever, so the only real thing you have control over is the "quality" of the time they have with you. One of our friends once told us, "if I die and come back I want to be one of your bunnies". So the only real prep you have is maybe a short window given by a medical professional. Other than that, give them your love everyday and take the best possible care of them that you can. We think of all our bridge bunnies everyday and have a collage of them all and a short bio in our rabbit room. Hope this helps--words are so inadequate to convey our feelings with.


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## EileenH (Jul 31, 2011)

I wish I had an answer for you, but I can tell you I completely understand what you are going through. Having just lost my first rabbit in February to lymphoma, I am now facing a fibrosarcoma with my 16 year old cat. Surgery is not possible as it is attached to his spine and rib; all I can do is watch it grow and try to prepare. How do you prepare?! I don't knowhow to do that. I've lost my share of animals, but I've had him since he was 3 weeks old. I just don't know how to wrap my head, and/or heart, around this.

I just keep reminding myself, to get myself used to the idea, and I guess we will just all be there for each other, understanding. I once read something about grief that stuck with me, that at first it is bigger than you, then every day it gets a little bit smaller until the happy memories are bigger than the hurt. The hurt will always be there, but eventually the happy memories overcome. I'm going with that hope.


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## gmas rabbit (Jul 31, 2011)

You are right there is not such thing as preparing. When you lose them the hurt and grief is overwhelming. I have prayed, begged and bargained with God over sick animals. When it is time, all you can do is know that you gave them the best possible life possible, and remember them. Then you pick up the pieces and give another animal the best possible life in their memory, and love again. As you bond with another, the grief you felt over the lost one lessens. We all go into this knowing that at some point we are going to lose them. I have had bunnies live 8 years, some 2 years. I keep thinking when I get them that this time they will live 10-12 and dread each birthday. I would not trade the love and pleasure I have gotten from sharing their lives for one minute, so I accept the loss as hard as it is, and try and bare up under the grief. Love them while they are here. Sorry I know that it is shitty and hard, but we are all here for you.


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## wawacrates (Aug 1, 2011)

as upsetting as a loss can be, you must consider all the other possible lives this rabbit could have had if not the life you provided it. it could have spent its days cooped up in a closet owned by an 8 year old, never aloud to so much as move, let alone run and jump. He could have been owned by a couple who wanted a cute and simple pet, thinking a rabbit would suffice only to see him die days after due to no knowledge of how to care for it. 

I don't know the circumstances of your meeting him, be it through a purchase or breeding, but your rabbit rolled the dice and it would seem as if he hit the jackpot in having you. You've surely given him a wonderful, luxurious life full of treats, binkies, chin markings, and affectionate (but sometimes painful!) nibbles. 

I wish there was a way to prepare for something like this, but unfortunately, there isnt. never is "now" the right time to lose someone you love, nor will it ever be. But do not attempt to draw comfort and resolve from "now"...the final destination those twisty, curvy roads take you, acquire it from "then". 

from the memories
and from the love...


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## jeanluc_pippen_merry (Aug 1, 2011)

Sorry to hear your rabbit is unwell. I lost my little Jean-luc not long ago and it was devastating. I didn't have a chance to prepare because there were no signs that he was sick. One night he was as energetic and boisterous as usual, jumping all over me and demanding my attention. He would jump on the back of my chair, climb up my back and sit on my shoulder. Then the next morning when i woke up i found him on the floor almost dead, unable to move. Even though his death was sudden and unexpected, i think that when you have a sick bunny that you can do nothing for to lengthen his life, all you can do is accept that he will only be around for a short while longer and make that time for him as comfortable as possible, and give him all your love and attention. It's a horrible thing we have to go through, whether it's our human or pet family members, but it's a natural part of life that we can't escape, unfortunately.

:cry2


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## sickbunny (Aug 10, 2011)

i've had to "prepare" twice this year. i knew my 2 bunnies had serious diseases. when one passed, i prayed that the other would make it, and she held on for 4 more months.

i "prepared" by making sure that the bunnies knew just how loved they were. i made sure every day was treat day. i held them and kissed them so much the tops of their little heads were wet. i sang endless songs to them. i prayed over them. i talked to them constantly telling them what good bunnies they were, how i loved them so much i would miss them if they left me, i comforted them over and over saying its okay. bella died this afternoon in my arms, and the last words she heard was me saying over and over "its okay bella". i told daisy jesus wants a little bunny to snuggle daisy, and he picked you cause you're the sweetest little bunny in the world. the one good thing about knowing death is coming is that it gives you that chance to say all the things you want to before the other is gone- and i did that. and it is the only comfort you have knowing that you were able to say goodbye while they could still hear you. i ditched work today to stay with bella and hold her knowing it was time. i called off last year when my dog was near the end, and i spent the whole day laying under a tree in the backyard with her. she was paralyzed by then and i carried her outside. she had stopped eating and drinking but that day she drank lots of water and laid there looking so happy watching the birds in the trees with me, and the next morning she died. i took the time to say goodbye to my animals and said screw work, if they dont like it they can fire me, its worth it to know i had the last times with them. 

if this is your time, then prepare for it by spending whatever time you can with them and talk to your pet, tell them how loved they are, how special they are, what they've meant to you, and comfort them and tell them its okay. then when they are gone, you will know at least that they knew what they meant to you, and that will undoubtably make their passing easier for them. 

it sucks, but its better than unexpected death where you think oh i didnt know, if only i had told that person or pet the last time i saw them how i felt about them- you've been given the gift of being allowed to say it. it is the only comfort you will have when your loved one is gone, knowing you told them everything in your heart, and that they knew what they meant to you. i cant stop crying over bella right now, but i know she was saying i love you too and its okay, because as i petted her head she would keep trying to lift her head and bump my hand with it the way she used to when she wanted more petting. she was telling me she loved me, and i was comforting her saying it was okay. we told each other what we wanted to say, and we both knew how the other felt. to die knowing you are loved is a whole lot better than to die thinking no one will care. it didnt make my hurt lessen any, but it didnt leave me filled with any regrets. love is the greatest gift you can give, and its the only way you can prepare for separation. 

god bless you, and hold on to the memories of the love. xox


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