# My boyfriend is jealous of my bunny (as well as my other pets).



## BunnyLove89

I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 28. He considers himself an animal lover but he acts like he can't stand mine. We have very different views on how to treat/train an animal and get into alot of arguements about it. 
We don't live together at the moment, but we are discussing getting married in the near future. 
I have 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 goats, 2 fish, 1 horse, 7 mice, and 1 rabbit. When I move out, the dogs, cats, and goats will stay at my parents' house and my horse stays at a boarding facility. 
Whenever we hang out, I don't force him to interact with my pets. He'll greet the dogs and pet the cats if he sees them, and he'll help me with the goats if I ask. 
The mice tend to irritate him if they're being too loud, and he really can't stand Weston (my rabbit). I really think it's because I spend quite a bit of time with Weston. 
My boyfriend has said alot of hurtful things regarding me and my animals such as "Max wanted to go back in his cage because he doesn't want to be around you" and he has said multiple times that my pets don't love me (because apparently they are incapable of love), and that i'm just the hand that feeds them. 
Has anyone ever had to deal with a jealous significant other? :sigh:


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## melbaby80

Umm if he has issues with your animals then he needs to sort out whether he really wants to be married to you. You're a package deal. You come with your fur babies. My husband will joke around and say I love my bunnies more then him, but he'll pick them up and buy me the things I need for them with no issues. Sometimes SO's can get jealous if they were your center of attention prior to the animals, but if your animals were there first then he needs to learn to coexist with them peaceful and not cause mental stress for you. That's not fair to you or the animals you love.

Try having a one on one talk with him about your pets and where he see's them in your future. Let him know you love them and they are part of your life and won't be going no where because you made a commitment to them when you brought them home. Ask him how can you help him feel more comfortable around your pets and let him know the mental strain he is causing is not fair, unhealthy, and uncalled for.


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## BunnyLove89

When we first started dating I actually had alot more pets. 
If it came down to being with him or having my animals, I would choose my pets. I have talked to him about it and he'll apologize if he crosses the line with his comments.
I've had to cut back on the amount of time I spend with him because I do get stressed out. We know we have alot to work on if we're going to get married and this is a major issue.


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## melbaby80

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> When we first started dating I actually had alot more pets.
> If it came down to being with him or having my animals, I would choose my pets. I have talked to him about it and he'll apologize if he crosses the line with his comments.
> I've had to cut back on the amount of time I spend with him because I do get stressed out. We know we have alot to work on if we're going to get married and this is a major issue.


Good for you. Communication is what makes relationships thrive. Sometimes men go through this too when they have a newborn baby with their SO. They get jealous. It all has to do with attention.


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## ZRabbits

Definitely would have a sit down with your boyfriend. Just think, if he's jealous of your pets, which you treat lovingly as your children, will he be jealous of your time with real "skin" children? It does happen. 

You don't need that kind of stress in your life. As much as you might love him, is it really worth that stress of worrying about "time spent" with others, pets or people?

Believe me, know all about that kind of stress. Had to deal with it with my own family because they didn't like my Better Half or my Son. Best thing I did was cut them out of my life. Selfishness like that can sometimes be changed, but the only way to really change it is change the way YOU deal with it.

Wishing you all the luck. 

K


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## fuzz16

Thats not jealousy. Thats the beginning of an abusive relationship honestly..ive been in enough to know. How he treats your pets is prob how hell treat you. 
I think perhaps you should think bout what you want in a guy. If you love pets you should find someone who shares your love or youll be miserable.


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## BunnyLove89

We've had a few serious talks lately about what needs to change if we're going to continue being together. 
We're both in recovery for drug addiction and he thinks I should not be spending so much time thinking about my pets and instead be going to alot of meetings. I can kind of see his point, but my animals are a huge help for me. 
I get really upset when he is too rough with my animals and he doesn't seem to understand it just makes me want to kick him out and spend more time with my pets.


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## Samara

He sounds just like my father growing up; it's very hard to deal with emotionally. 

I can only advise that if this is an issue now, for the sake of your wee ones and *you*, push out the wedding planning and focus on getting this sorted. 

Before I married my husband, my last significant other was awful with my Bailey (RIP). Very insensitive, though not cruel. 

My vote is with Karen on this one; talk to him. 

Super hugs!


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## MiniLopHop

Honestly if it were me, I would get rid of him. I agree with Branda. If she's starting in being mean about the animals it is a very slippery slope. I have also gone through it and believe me, it's not a nice place. One day he's saying mean stuff about the animals, the next he's hitting you for paying too much attention to them rather than him. Once you are married there may be human children involved and it's even harder to get away.

On the other hand, my husband is so wonderful with all our fur babies. He wanted two cats, that's all. We have two cats, four rabbits, two gerbils, two turtles, eight birds, and fish. They are all rescues. All I had to do was show him their picture on petfinder and he would melt. When I was in the hospital he even tucked Becky (a bun) in at night because that is what I do. He made sure everyone got enough snuggling in addition to food, water, and cleaning.

How a man treats your pets is how he will treat you. I get all the care and attention that he lavishes on our pets. Snuggle as a group! We frequently have two cats and a few rabbits in bed with us. There's enough love to go around if everyone is open to it. Animals most certainly have the capacity to love. I believe even more so than people because they don't have hidden agendas and they don't lie.

ray:


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## gmas rabbit

I agree with all the above opinions. My husband knows just where he stands with our bunnies. He always say, rabbit, then grandkids or kids and then him. Well he is not always the bottom of the totem pole, but he loves Derby as much as I. I don't think I could live with a man that didn't like my animals or was mean to them. Trust is a huge issue in a relationship, and if you cannot trust your SO with your animals or kids, honestly the chances of this relationship working is pretty low. If that too brutually honest, sorry if it is. I have been married for 42 years, and every day I thank God for an understanding, animal and kid loving man. If this guy isn't the one, believe me there is a good guy out there for you. I would really talk to him and see if you can come to an understanding before you marry him. Much easier to walk now than later.


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## MiniLopHop

Amen Alma!

As for the addiction, I feel animals can help our hearts heal. I am a recovering food addict. When I want to over eat for emotional reasons I tell myself "hug a bunny". Becky always listens and will not judge me no matter how silly I sound when I spill out my feelings to her. She snuggles in and gives kisses no matter what. Pets can be a huge source of support for recovery.

People at meetings can judge, your animals never will. You need support and unconditional love, not shame and guilt. Love will set you free where shame and guilt will pull you down from their toxicity. *hugs*


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## ZRabbits

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> We've had a few serious talks lately about what needs to change if we're going to continue being together.
> We're both in recovery for drug addiction and he thinks I should not be spending so much time thinking about my pets and instead be going to alot of meetings. I can kind of see his point, but my animals are a huge help for me.
> I get really upset when he is too rough with my animals and he doesn't seem to understand it just makes me want to kick him out and spend more time with my pets.



Congratulations on your recovery. Wishing you continued success.After loosing our Son to leukemia, I was toldwe need to talk.We need therapy to help you through this.Our dog and nowour bunnies have been the most positive part of helping to deal withour loss. My Better Half also feels that way. We didn't need meetings to help us cope. 

Animals can be the best medicine. You can see the complete joy of having them in your life. That's a true plus to help you get through your tough times. Don't let another make you think differently. 

K


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## melbaby80

Animals are a HUGE part of a recovery addicts healing process. Its scientific fact and has been proven over and over. Maybe if he see's they are helping you in the process in addition to the meetings he will change his views. I agree with everyone though with thoughts about abuse. I was married to a verbally and physically abusive man a few years ago, but he was never mean to my pets which was weird. It's like I said if you had kids he'd probably get jealous of them too. He has some issues he needs to work out and it seems a lot of it is anger.


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## Nancy McClelland

I,m seeing some major "red flags".


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## BunnyLove89

Nancy McClelland wrote:


> I,m seeing some major "red flags".



My mom says that alot. It doesn't feel abusive. When I was 17 I was with a 28 year old. That was hell and took me months to get out of it. This is nothing compared to that. He has never laid a hand on me. If anything, he could probably claim that I abuse him because I did smack him once without thinking, because he was making fun of me. I would have completely understood if he smacked me back.
It does hurt me though when he is mean to my animals and it's gotten to the point where I don't have any pets out when he is over because I just don't feel like getting crap from him. 
I try and give him the attention he needs but he's just really clingy. 
I don't get alot out of meetings. I've lived in Arkansas for a year and a half and haven't made any friends. I'm a very quiet and anxious person (I am on meds which have helped a little bit) so I find it hard to talk to people. And when I do, I get my feelings hurt alot because I take things personally. Usually I just stick to the internet or I talk to my animals. 
I don't want to have to choose between my boyfriend and my animals but I might need to for my pets' sake...


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## HEM

Communication is key in any relationship, especially honest communication. Like others have said, you should talk to him about this and let him know how you feel about animals, especially yours and that animals are a part of your life and I'm guessing always will.
My wife and I both adore animals and Dilly, our first rabbit and first pet together, has been awesome. We have lived together for 6 years and always wanted a pet but our building doesn't allow dogs or cats. So, out of the blue she mentions a bunny and finds one to adopt. We did and it was the best thing we did.
We jokinly say things to one another, like "you'd rather be with Dilly" or "You're only concerned about Dilly now days". But, it's all in fun.
Maybe be straight up with him and let him know that you don't appreciate some of his comments.
Good luck!!


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## LakeCondo

It definitely IS abusive. Just because it's verbal abuse rather than physical doesn't mean it's ok. Name calling & insults aren't right & all the apologies don't erase them. He apologizes but isn't changing, is he? He just wants to calm you down, in my opinion. Don't isolate yourself from other people or make him the center of your world. You're certainly not the center of his [he is].


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## melbaby80

*LakeCondo wrote: *


> It definitely IS abusive. Just because it's verbal abuse rather than physical doesn't mean it's ok. Name calling & insults aren't right & all the apologies don't erase them. He apologizes but isn't changing, is he? He just wants to calm you down, in my opinion. Don't isolate yourself from other people or make him the center of your world. You're certainly not the center of his [he is].


Well said.


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## Trixie

Your boyfriend sounds very immature. I hope that you can really discuss this. If you can never have your animals out around your BF...what happens when you get married? Will he make them all move out?

As a HUGE animal lover myself, married to one as well, I wouldn't settle for anything less. Love me, love my pets!!! Good luck!!


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## blondiesmommie

I had one of those.. get rid of the bf LOL


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## Bonnie Lee

I hope you're okay with the advice you're getting. It's quite strong opinions being put out to you and it's probably hard to take in but I do think everyone is correct about this. Even though it's verbal abuse and it's not necessarily directed at you it's still abuse and it only gets worse.

Maybe you need to sit and talk and just ask why he says these things? 

My boyfriend and I got our first bunnies as a couple and it's been a really good experience for us as we've learnt to grow up and take responsibility as a couple and learn to love one another and our pets all equally and I think you deserve better 

Maybe it might even work out being that he is jealous of you having such nice pets and maybe he wants to have pets to love him the way they love you... but you won't find out unless you really talk everything over with him 

Have a beautiful day and a divine life! xx


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## PaGal

It is up to you wether this relationship continues or not but my advice is to speak openly and honestly with him and put off marriage until their are no doubts in your mind. I was married for 20 years to the wrong man. Animals are important to me. My first husband would have been happy without any and although I took care of them completely and they had as little impact on him as possible he did nothing but complain. Because of that and other things for twenty years I could not be myself or feel relaxed.

I am now married to my soul mate who also likes animals. He is more the type to take them in when they show up rather than actively search them out but he loves all of our pets. When strays show up he , like me feels we must keep them until we find the owner or a new home for them.

This one difference will not necessarily have to make or break your relationship, usually it is more than one issue that destroys a relationship but do not settle. The right person is out there wether your current BF or not. Only with the right person can your relationship be truly wonderful. Also, pay attention to those red flags. My husband married the wrong person. The red flags were tiny such as he is neat and she was not. Nothing that was a deal breaker until after they got married and had kids. We are stuck dealing with her because of the kids, we have primary custody and will be stuck dealing with her crazy until the kids are adults.


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## BunnyLove89

I just got off the phone with my boyfriend. We've been talking about taking a break but we both promised we would change for the sake of our relationship. 
Since things started to get worse, I haven't been sleeping well. It takes me over 2 hours to get to sleep, I wake up alot, and I can't sleep past 5 a.m.
I mentioned to him that I think it's stress related and I said that i've been thinking more about a break. 
He just said that I should work out, do service work, go to meetings, etc. 
I don't know how to tell him that I think I need a break without hurting his feelings.


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## MiniLopHop

*big hugs* It is hard because you care about him, but you have to do what is best for you and your fur babies. If you aren't sleeping that is not good. Your recovery should look specific for you, what works for you. It sounds like he is trying to get your recovery to look like what works for him. Everyone is different.

I would be honest, say that you need a break to reduce your stress and concentrate on what you need to do to be the best you possible.

We are all here to support you as you go through these challenging times.


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## LakeCondo

Don't put his feelings above what you feel is right for you. He doesn't get to tell you how to change when he's not changing.

You might want to get a self-help book on relationships, maybe a dvd. Dr Phil has Relationship Rescue, as I recall.


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## MiniLopHop

If you are a person of faith, I highly recommend this book:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0310585902/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

It has been extremely helpful in my life with all sorts of relationships, particularly in my marriage and with my family. I grew up with no boundries at all being respected by anyone, so essentially a doormatt because I had to be "nice". There's a way to be nice but still take care of yourself.


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## Elliot

For me, verbal abuse was far worse than any physical abuse. Reason is I put up with it far longer than I would have if it were the latter. Cuts and bruises heal, but verbal abuse cuts you down to the core until there is nothing left. I would recommend stepping aside and taking a long hard look at what attracted you to this person, and the other people in your past. Look for the common thread. It is there. It even helps to write it down, then read it. Then. decide what qualities you want in a person, and values you want in a relationship. Then settle for nothing less.
Wishing you all the best!:hugsquish:


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## Samara

:feelbetter:


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## BunnyLove89

Just had a good conversation with the BF. We talked about the animals and how he treats them and how it makes me feel. We had to agree to disagree on a couple things but he said he is willing to spend time with Weston (as long as he doesn't get peed on, lol). 
I also told him that I feel like I need a break so that I can de-stress and work on me so that if and when we get back together I will have more to give to the relationship since I have been running on empty for awhile now. We will probably go on a break within the next couple of weeks. 
One thing I am really stressing over is we're both smokers and since I haven't been able to find a job, he buys my cigarettes. And if we go on a break I will have to quit cold turkey which certainly won't help my stress level.
So I don't know... :sigh:


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## fuzz16

Smoking aids in depression. Working out, do 50 jumping jacks and your body will release happy dopamine vibes. I worked out a lot when i quit smoking. I was a bit of a nutcase too lol

And he doesnt seem to care about your feelings so you shouldnt use hurting his feelings as an excuse


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## ZRabbits

Don't stop trying to find "yourself" and a "good" relationship because of smoking. Understand the stress of quiting. Did for a while myself. Good reason too.After December, 2009, don't have any real reason now to quit. Don't care if I ever do.

But the issue is, don't worry about quiting cold turkey. There are ways to help get through that "crazy" feeling which lasts about 3 weeks. You make it that far, and it will get easier. 

Exercise, play with the critters, take walks, drink water when you get that urge to smoke, lots of different stuff to do. But don't stay with a boyfriend you have doubts about, and makes you have doubts about yourself and your feelingstowards your pets,because he supplies your cigs. 

K


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## MiniLopHop

Your pets will be healthier because of your decision to stop smoking too. Look at it as a sacrifice for their well being. Animals can get lung cancer too.


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## BunnyLove89

I don't stay with my boyfriend because he supplies my cigs. Even though I knew this, during our convo today he felt the need to say "you know, if we go on a break, i'm not going to buying you cigarettes." Just the way he said it, as if that will make me not want a break, just made me want to say "screw you".
I've tried to quit before but he was not supportive of that decision and still made me roll his cigs for him (we roll our own) which didn't help.
Oh, and as far as the animals go, I don't smoke inside the house.


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## Nancy McClelland

ray:


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## fuzz16

I quit fot both pregnancies. I social smoke now and still turn to them when badly stressed. They say nicotines more addicting than coke ect
I beleive it too


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## melbaby80

Good luck jen. It's not easy and I, just as other's have said, been through the verbal AND the physical abuse. The verbal is really a downer. It has been 3 years since my divorce and the words said to me are still burned in my memory. One thing that hurts the most was the countless times he would tell me "no one is going to want you with kids", its funny because my husband now loves my kids and helps me support them. It is good that you're wanting a break because then this will really let you see if he is indeed good for you or not. If you are losing sleep over being with him and your health starts to decline, just walk away hun. :hug1 Good luck!

My mom quit cold turkey about 19 years ago. She was a smoker from the age of 16 till I was about 12. It was tough on her, but she made it through. Her addiction now is gum! She has to have gum lol or coffee. We all have our addictions, but it's the strength you have to overcome those addictions that matter. He is thinking wrong and his words are horrible. His words are him feeding off your weakness. Don't let him. Just put his words behind you and do whats best for you!


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## ZRabbits

I'd definitely make that break. You don't need someone bringing you down. 

Regarding the cigs, got my own theory regarding lung cancer in rabbits. Until someone proves it, my theory stand strong. Lungs are completely different in rabbits or any animal other than an ape. My personal theory stands. 

Everyone is addicted to something. Food, cigs, sex, alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, and even physical or verbal abuse. It's how you deal with that addiction which makes you stronger. 

Stand on your own two feet and make your own decisions. A partner who loves you will back you up 100% and not knock you down. 

You are worth someone who loves you! 

That's all I have to say. Love is what you make it. 

K


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## Nela

I don't know your boyfriend so I do not want to judge him. However, I will say this...

You guys are talking about marriage, but you don't seem to see eye-to-eye on much right now. I think, being able to face things together, and have each other's support is the most important part of a marriage.

For me, with my boyfriend, we mentioned marriage and children and all. However, I had never really gotten to see him interact with children and I wasn't sure what his 'parenting' skills would be like. We ended up getting a puppy, because I truly felt the need for one (for many reasons, not just to 'test' things). He didn't, he didn't want one but said that if it made such a difference for me, he was okay with it. Well, that puppy allowed me to see many different things. We work together well, we had the same ideas when it came to raising him, we both were able to discipline him (prior to that, I thought he was a total softie!), we both rushed to his side if he needed to puke (I wasn't sure if he could handle the poop and puke and all that joy),both spent the nights up with him when he was ill, etc. It was truly an eye-opener. I think the way a man treats any defenseless animal, is the way he truly is inside. It gives you a good idea of what to go on.

You have to remember, that anything that goes on now, is not very likely to change all that much.Right now it's the pets, but in the future it'll be kids. The attitude will remain the same. You guys need to be able to work together, and envision yourselves together. You guys also need to see yourselves as a family, as it is now. The pets are part of that family, and you need to see it in the way that "Oh he is treating our family like this." Use the family you have now to see if he is truly the man you want to build a family with.

I am not saying he is bad, or he is good, or whatever, again I don't know him. However, it should tell you a lot about your compatibility.

On another note, I love all my pets. My pets are family and always will be. I don't bend over backwards with my allergies just for the fun of it. When I met Jeff, I made it clear to him right away that animals were part of me and a big part in my life. I made it very clear to him that I would not leave my country without taking my animals. Well, to him, the thought of them not coming had never even crossed his mind. Plus, my animals took to him right away and they liked each other from very early on. That also helped me judge him on the boyfriend material front Anyway, we have many pets now, and though he does feel we have a lot, he truly cares for each and every one of them. One thing I find important though, is to remember that Jeff is my equal. He is my other half, and together we run this household and cherish our other family members. I truly have a special bond with my dog and sometimes, I have to catch myself from greeting him first. It's not intentional, but I can see where Jeff can get a bit miffed when I do. I think it's normal since I feel the same way. So, we always try to greet each other first. For many people, it's "them first, us after" but in my opinion, I prefer the "us,for us and forthem" attitude. Jeff is part of me, and I need all of me to take care of my family properly.

The reason I say this is because I feel that if your relationship is strong, together you are a force to be reckoned with. You will have something truly worth holding on to, and with that being strong, that strength and that love only naturally spreads to your other loved ones. Like the dog for example... If I say no, but Jeff says yes, that would put Jeff and I at odds, and make the dog confused. He'd become moremanipulative and pit us against each other, knowing he would get want he wants in the end. (I have seen this, he does try when he can feel someone about to give in) This in turn, would lead Jeff and I to argue. Now, that's just a small thing, but if it's a small thing, repeated numerous times, over every little thing, it gets unpleasant and it just doesn't work.

So, use this gift of time, and try to take on a 3rd person point of view when looking at your relationship. See what you can improve and how but also why you want to improve it. The rest is up to both of you, to have the willand strengthchange it, together. And if you find yourself seeing more of 'I'or 'him' rather than 'we' or vice-versa,I think that is a pretty good indication as to whether or not the two of you are ready to talk marriage


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## BunnyLove89

Well today is the last time we will see each other for quite awhile. 
It's bittersweet. He's going back and forth being really mean and hurtful, then he'll apologize and be really nice, then he'll take back his apology.
I packed up all of his things the night before last. 
I've been in a funk and haven't wanted to do anything. I feel like i'm losing my best friend. We have the same mutual "friends"/acquaintances and he's talking to all of them about us. And since he's closer to them than I am I feel like I can't talk to them because they will take his side.
I didn't even want to do anything with my pets yesterday because I kept hearing his mean comments and I didn't want to force my animals to be with me. 
My mom is going to help with cigarettes as long as I cut back.
I knew it would be hard to not be with him but I didn't think it would be this hard... :tears2:


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## ZRabbits

You are not alone. Making big changes in life is hard, especially whenthe change affects every aspect of yourlife. Though you can't see us here, you have people who care. Talk to us, or even to me, I'll be more than glad to listen and help you through hard times like you are feeling now. Don't let the negative feelings given affect your relationshiop with your pets. They didn't bring this on, your BF did. Glad to hear Mom will help with the cigs and cutting down will help if one day you want to quit permanently. 

It's always darkest before the dawn. You are not alone. Been there when it feels like your whole world has been ripped apart. Have good listening skills and am here to offer them to you. Keep strong. This will pass and you will truly be better off.

K


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## gmas rabbit

I agree talk to us and let us be there for you. We have all had times when the people from RO have been supportive, lose of pets, illnesses whatever. This forum is not just about rabbits. Try and find yourself a divorce or grief therapy group that can help you through this. Most churches and mental health centres actual have groups for people that have not been married but living together or in a long term relationship. Also talk to your doctor, perhaps your medical will cover some therapy sessions. If you have had a drug problem, your drug counsellor should help. There is nothing weak about asking for help. Give your animals lots of attention and pets, believe me they know that you are hurting, pretty intuitive little critters. Take one day at a time, set your goals for that day only. More than that will overwhelm you. Hugs and nose bunks.


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## Paddy Ohara

Do what you feel is right and also trust what your animals are telling you. If your animals are not comfortable at all times, there is something wrong and it may be when you are away. I really loved my ex-boyfriend who didn't like my animals. We have since broken it off and I am so happy about this. FRiends and family were not happy about how jealous he was and I was told they (the animals) always come first etc...Now my sweet little old dog has behvioral problems that were related to what happened when I wasn't around. They are not real big problems but I know the source of them and I can work with them it just makes my angry and also sad that I let it get to that point. Just make yourself aware! As I look back I can see how the dislike of animals started to rub off and he also started to treat me that way when things didn't go his way-he always blamed the animals for lack of time etc... It was a struggle to take care of both and you shouldn't have to. I also feared how this behvior would translate to kids. My dog picked out my new boyfriend for me and we have been together for 7 years now-(married for 5). Just remember your animals need you to take care of them. They can't do it themselves and they deserve the best.


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## Nela

I was engaged for 5 years until I finally decided that I wanted better for myself. Not long after I packed his stuff and put him on a plane back to where he came from, I met my current boyfriend. I have never been happier. Sometimes things happen for a good reason, even if we cannot see it at the time. Maybe you just need the time away from each other to work on yourselves to come back stronger. I don't know, but try to keep your chin up and focus on making a good thing come out of a sucky situation. *Hugs*


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## LakeCondo

Best friends aren't mean & hurtful.


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## BunnyLove89

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the support. 
My boyfriend and I had a really good night. Saying goodbye (even though it may only be for awhile) was hands down the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 
My brother died when I was 16 and that was not as hard as this was. When someone dies you don't wonder if you're doing the right thing. When you choose to walk away from the person you love most, there's alot of doubt and wondering if you are making the biggest mistake of your life. 
I thought I could distract myself from the emotional pain so earlier I opted for some good old physical pain and I got my lip pierced. Well, now my mouth is throbbing and my heart feels like it's breaking into a thousand little pieces. :sad:


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## ZRabbits

Change is hard. Saying goodbye does hurt. Glad for both of you that you left on good ground. 

You made the step, truly know you are hurting, and it does get better in time. 

Keep the faith. 

And hope your lip feels better soon. 

K


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## gmas rabbit

Hang in there, if this is meant to be you will come back stronger. Take the time to work on you and spend lots of time with your animals. Animals are very healing. Hope your lip feels better soon. hugs


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## BunnyLove89

This is such a weird feeling. I'm not in a very good place mentally. I didn't sleep well so i've been drinking alot of caffeine but it's not helping.
My mom had open heart surgery so my parents have been gone for 2 months. They are coming back in 9 days, but until then I am going to have no one to talk to. I won't even see anyone unless I go to the store to get groceries. 
No one will even talk to me on facebook.
I have a feeling i'm going spend the next 9 days laying in bed while watching tv...
Since last night i've been tempted to tell my boyfriend that I am really sorry and ask him if we can forget the break and get back together. I miss him already.
Sorry if I come across as whiny. I've just never had to go through something like this before.


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## MiniLopHop

It is very hard when you feel all alone. Talk with us here. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you made the right choice. If he really loved you he would not have been nasty about the split, that just shows his true colors.
Send me a friend request on FB and we can chat later this evening when I get home from work. Brandy Condren Anderson. I have the same avetar there as here.
*big hugs*


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## fuzz16

Were here for you.
If you keep busy itll help. Just somethin to get out of the house. Reading helps too. Im thankful i always had my baby to keep me to busy to worry over personal problems


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## gmas rabbit

Try going for a walk. Walks are good therapy. If you can take a water, not more coffee and sit somewhere that you can people watch. That makes you feel like you have someone around, but you just have to watch and not make conversation. You can get hold of me anytime, just send me a PM. It will get easier.


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## BunnyLove89

Well I went to Walmart to get out of the house and I was on the verge of fainting the entire time. I was dizzy, I was sweating, and the room was spinning. I looked up causes of fainting and it can be a sign of intense emotional stress.
Once again, I really appreciate all the support. I'm really glad I found this forum. Awhile back I was a member of another forum and it was a really bad experience. One of my rats chewed through the base of her cage during the night and squeezed through the bars of my male rat's cage and she got pregnant. People were attacking me saying that I was irresponsible and a bad pet owner and when I tried to defend myself I got banned and was told that I was a nuisance and a troll. 
I had a friend who was also a member and when she tried to help me find homes for the babies she was told by the mods that I lost all privileges and no one was allowed to help me.
So I was a bit wary of this forum at first. I am pleasantly surprised!


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## fuzz16

Ditto. Just pm me. Caffeine actualy can make you depressed. Try green or black tea. Pass on carbs too they can make you depressed too. Which im sure your very upset...look at cute kitten and bunny posters. Cant help but smile at those


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## gmas rabbit

I agree , just be really careful that you actual eat. Depression can cause you not to and that could account for your dizziness and feeling of being faint. Some people are eater under stress, others not. Glad that you got out. I am sorry that you had such a bad experience on another forum. Accidents happen, nothing to do with irresponsiblity. Remember to set your goals one day at a time, it is not so overwhelming that way.


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## woahlookitsme

I have kind of been on and off reading this thread and I can hear your stress through the posts. This thread is great for making you feel better and I'm glad you can post your feelings here when no one else will listen. The photo philes is great for finding funny and cute pictures lol. I know how it feels to loose your best friend. I am a long term girlfriend and my shortest relationship was about 4mos. Longest is current and will be 4yrs in September. I have been in your shoes and I had to focus on other things instead of dwelling. You can't think about if what you did was right or not. There are plenty of animal lovers out there that you just have to find. I'm not sure if you have a dog but dog parks are a great place to find people who love animals. I'm all about using animals to help with emotions and feelings you are going through. I am not a smoker so that I don't know about but I think exercise and attending a gym is a great thing to start! I would go during school and when I was feeling stressed about an exam coming up it would definitely help me clear my mind. Find things to do other than dwelling. Take your break it sounds like you really needed it and dont question yourself. Start doing some hobbies and find what you love doing. I enjoy art in my free time and would actually love to try those pottery classes I just have no clue where I would go to do that. Find what you love to do and do it! Nothing is the limit and don't let anyone affect you. I think it will also help you find some friends who aren't mutual friends with your ex. Look forward to hearing how you do Don't do like me and jump into the past relationship or even a new one. I have yet to have time to find myself and it really affects the person you are with. Being single to clear your head is never a bad thing.


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## SnowyShiloh

Jen, how are you doing tonight? I just came across this thread and there haven't been any updates. So sorry you're having a rough time, but I promise you made the right choice! This may be hard to hear, but it sounds like you love him much more than he loves you because people who love you don't try to make you feel bad. The fact that your mom sees lots of red flags is very telling, too. Be strong, don't invite him back into your life! If you want to chat on Facebook, my sleep schedule is utterly messed up and I'm up all night so you can send me a PM with your name and I'll add you to my friends list  No pressure though.


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## BunnyLove89

SnowyShiloh wrote:


> Jen, how are you doing tonight? I just came across this thread and there haven't been any updates. So sorry you're having a rough time, but I promise you made the right choice! This may be hard to hear, but it sounds like you love him much more than he loves you because people who love you don't try to make you feel bad. The fact that your mom sees lots of red flags is very telling, too. Be strong, don't invite him back into your life! If you want to chat on Facebook, my sleep schedule is utterly messed up and I'm up all night so you can send me a PM with your name and I'll add you to my friends list  No pressure though.



My night was alright. I decided to go to this rape and abuse support group that I used to go to to deal with things in my past. I shared about what has been going on (but you're only allowed 3 minutes so I couldn't say everything I wanted to). In the past I've connected with some women there but last night no one said anything to me. They looked at me and walked right past me. 
I don't know if it's because it's at a church and I don't look and act like everyone else. They are all overly religious and clean cut. I'm borderline religious and I have 2 tattoos and 17 piercings. I feel like I have "Loser freak" stamped on my forehead. 
Then I did talk to my bf last night. He messaged me on facebook and we had a short conversation. I really miss him and I was just really desperate to have a conversation with someone. Talking to him made me feel worse tho because it made me miss him even more...


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## gmas rabbit

I am so sorry that your support group from the past didn't work out. Get hold of mental health or your doctor and see if there are any others especially for teenager or young adults. Quite often they have support groups in this area for young people and depression. Doesn't really matter what the topic is, it is the connection that is important. You are not a freak, even some of us older people have tatoos. As for the piercings what people need to remember is that every generation has another fad, and it is their right to choose. Take the offers about facebook, I am not on, but as soon as I get it hooked up would love to hear from you. My grandson who lives with us broke up with his long term girlfriend about 6 months ago. He was like you, questioning if he did the right thing, depressed as no one would talk to him. But he went of facebook and made a couple of connections that helped him through, got out after being literally pushed to go swimming, just walking etc. 6 months later he has found a new girlfriend and now wonders what he ever seen in the last. You might after a break decide that you want to get back together, that is up to you, recommend if you do that you get some couples councelling. You may not, but you have to take one day at a time, connect with your animals and people who care about you and give it time. Hugs for now.


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## BunnyLove89

I've been taking people up on their facebook offers. 
My boyfriend messaged me again this morning. I'm torn because I miss him and I keep thinking of all these things I want to tell him, but I know it's only going to make me more upset in the long run because it's a tease.
He keeps telling me to talk to people and i'm getting frustrated because i've been trying, but they won't talk to me because he got to them first. God only knows what he told them. It's also messing with me in that he's still "reminding me" to do a bunch of stuff for him. So i'm still getting stressed out because as much as I try to not think about him, I keep hearing him in the back of my mind telling me what to do and what not to do. He's asked if his messaging me bothers me and I said kind of. But I don't want to tell him to stop because the other day I told him that even though we would be on a break, I still love him and i'm here for him if he needs me. But it seems like he is taking advantage of that and is just wanting to check up on me. 
I'm still not sleeping. I've been having weird/bad dreams and have been waking up alot which is frustrating. 
I've been thinking more about the meeting last night and I remember the last time I was there I was expressing some doubts I had about my boyfriend. The main thing then was that he is a sex addict and that takes a huge toll on me. It's like they didn't hear what I was saying because afterwards a couple people told me that from everything I had been saying the past few months said it sounds like I picked a good guy (and they weren't being sarcastic). Needless to say, it really confused me. I don't know what i'm doing wrong to make me people not want to talk to me. 
The isolation is really getting to me...


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## ZRabbits

Sorry you are having trouble with something that I seriously think is for the best. It's time for a true split. You need now to take care of yourself. Truly understand the isolation feeling, so keep utilizing those Facebook connections. Good people out there that truly listen. Aren't your parents coming home soon? Then you will have family around. It will get better.

I'd stop all communication. If he really wants to make the relationship work by really thinking of you, he would back off. But it's not in an addict's nature. And they do use "false love" to get what they want. I think everyone's worth "real love". IMHO.

Keep the faith. This too shall pass. 

K


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## BunnyLove89

My parents will be home in a week, I think. It will be good to have my mom back, but I don't get along with my dad. I've only seen him for maybe 4 or 5 days so far this year. 
So there's a bit of stress that comes with having to be around him. 
My boyfriend just messaged me again on facebook and he wants me to reply to a message he sent me yesterday. He is also stopping by to bring me something that he ordered for me before the break. I'm going to try and get him to leave it in the mailbox so I won't have to see him. He's going to a friend's house tonight and i'm right on his way back. I'm kind of paranoid that he'll do what he did a few days ago and look in my window to see if i'm sleeping. 
We were really only supposed to talk if we were planning on going to a meeting so that we could make sure we wouldn't go to the same one. I feel bad telling him that it's too much, because it's nothing compared to how much we talked when we were together. I don't know, it's just easier for me to deal with the break when we're not talking.


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## gmas rabbit

I agree avoid contact for as much as possible. You need to put something over you window so that he cannot see in. That is total invasion of privacy, and he needs to stop. Will be glad when your mom and dad are home, so that you feel safer.Can you plan on being out someplace tonight or even in a different room from you bedroom, maybe sleep on the couch in the living room.


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## fuzz16

Your not together and hes still trying to control you. I think your doing the right thing and i wish i had been thisstrong when i was younger. And i agree that this could go from peeking into your window to something more. Take precautions and stay safe


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## Elliot

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> I've been taking people up on their facebook offers.
> My boyfriend messaged me again this morning. I'm torn because I miss him and I keep thinking of all these things I want to tell him, but I know it's only going to make me more upset in the long run because it's a tease.
> He keeps telling me to talk to people and i'm getting frustrated because i've been trying, but they won't talk to me because he got to them first. God only knows what he told them. It's also messing with me in that he's still "reminding me" to do a bunch of stuff for him. So i'm still getting stressed out because as much as I try to not think about him, I keep hearing him in the back of my mind telling me what to do and what not to do. He's asked if his messaging me bothers me and I said kind of. But I don't want to tell him to stop because the other day I told him that even though we would be on a break, I still love him and i'm here for him if he needs me. But it seems like he is taking advantage of that and is just wanting to check up on me.
> I'm still not sleeping. I've been having weird/bad dreams and have been waking up alot which is frustrating.
> I've been thinking more about the meeting last night and I remember the last time I was there I was expressing some doubts I had about my boyfriend. The main thing then was that he is a sex addict and that takes a huge toll on me. It's like they didn't hear what I was saying because afterwards a couple people told me that from everything I had been saying the past few months said it sounds like I picked a good guy (and they weren't being sarcastic). Needless to say, it really confused me. I don't know what i'm doing wrong to make me people not want to talk to me.
> The isolation is really getting to me...


These are not healthy feelings. Don't you have anyone to talk to? If you need someone to talk to, I am here for you. Just send me a pm. Please don't let him control you.


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## melbaby80

I'm christian, have tattoo's, and piercings. It doesn't make you a bad person at all. I go to church and love God, but hey I'm not perfect. God knows we're not perfect that's why we're humans. Jen breakups are rough, but we're resilient. We're stronger then we give ourselves credit for and never look at the true beauty staring back in a mirror. I was married for 7 years with my ex for 8. I was abused mentally and physically. In the end, I left because someone else with just words made me feel 1000x's more of woman then the man I was with for 8 years. I never cheated, just talked. My ex ended up sleeping with 4 other women before we divorced 5 months after our separation. Are we perfect? Nope. See, everyone has flaws. I regret the way I left, but I thank God I did because I am no longer under someones foot and living in this constant fear. I'm married to a wonderful man now and have our second baby coming in august. I feel blessed that through my trials I made it through and learned so much. Jen my story has a lot of hurt, loneliness, depression, and anxiety, but I am also a success. I graduated with my bachelors in business admin and I am now working on my master in teaching. I am a straight A student and proud of my accomplishments. I survived the heartache and the thoughts. So you can too! Keep your head up and remember those who spew garbage at you are miserable with their lives. Their release is to make you feel the same as they do.

You have a lot support here, from strangers you never met. We're sharing our stories with you and opening our hearts. Know you are not alone. We're all here for you.:hug2:


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## Bonnie Lee

I agree with Mel and we are all here for you.

I'm only 19 so I don't have an awful relationship experience to say iknow the feeling and you should just move on type of thing... But I dd once have had a boyfriend which we were supposed to be best friends but he would tell me I'm fat and need to lose weight or I should giveup on photography because I'm not good at it... And those words hurt me a lot as I'm only 5"3 tall and only weighed 45kg at the time so I was far from being over weight but he affected my diet a lot and I got smaller but even after I broke up with him I was scared to leave him because he was what I thought was an honest best friend but then I met my current boyfriend now who showed me nobody should ever say things like that not even to a best friend...and my current boyfriend and I have now been together for 3 years and living with on another for 2 and it's been the best experience for me. You will find someone so much nicer


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## gmas rabbit

Jen - how are you doing this morning. Hope you have made some plans for today and today only. Get out in the sunshine if possible, go someplace you can people watch. Lots of us are really concerned about you, please take the offers to pm those not on facebook and facebook the others. Alot of your symptons are a result of depression, just make sure that you eat properly and get some exercise. Remember that each day will get easier, give your little animals lots and lots of attention. Is mom home soon?? Hugs


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## BunnyLove89

I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. I dont remember the last time i was this exhausted. I take medication 3 times a day and drowsiness is a side effect of 4 out of the 5 meds. I usually need at least 8 hours of sleep in order to function. 
I only have one person that i can talk to on a regular basis. We've known each other since birth and have been friends for as long as i can remember. She lives in Colorado though so we can only talk on the phone. I have a few people that i talk to every once in awhile but i'm not close with them so it's just chatting about superficial things.
I have a hard time making friends because i'm really quiet and cynical. It's something that i work on but the people i come in contact with don't seem to have the patience. I get frustrated because i get told repeatedly by my "friends" that they are there for me but no one ever calls me or texts or anything. And when i express my frustration people tell me that its on me to reach out. So i do, and no one returns my calls. Its really discouraging and i spend alot of time wondering why.
I know that i'm depressed. Ive been diagnosed with OCD, Bipolar, Anxiety, and PTSD. I know there are things that i could be doing but i just dont have the energy. As far as eating goes, when i get stressed/depressed i have no apetite whatsoever. And i hate eating when im not hungry. I think it would be easier if i didnt have Celiac Disease, because since I do, I have to be very careful with what i eat and it takes a bit more preparation. 
And yes, my mom will be home in 1 week.


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## gmas rabbit

Pretty common not to want to eat when you are depressed. Try a tablespoon of peanut butter or a protein shake, something that you can take with your celiac disease.Protein in general helps with depression and helps you to sleep. Make it your goal this week to each day text ONE of your friends. One only,if you make that a goal then it is not so overwhelming. Have to gotten hold of your doctor? Hang in there sweetie, things will get better, you just have to hang on until mom gets home. Have you been facebooking the people from the forum?


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## BunnyLove89

I actually just deactivated my facebook for the time being. Partially because of my boyfriend and partially because i'm so frustrated with my old "friends".
I'm just going to focus my attention on my pets and chatting with the people on this forum!


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## gmas rabbit

Rather than actual deactivate your facebook, you could defriend your old friends for awhile, that way you would still have access to those from here that want to facebook you. Who knows you may end up with a whole new set of friends. If not chatting with us on here is just fine!!!!


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## SnowyShiloh

Jen, thinking of you!


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## BabyRue

I just wanted to chime in and say you are a beautiful strong person and you can pull through it. You may think you are alone but you are NEVER alone.

I sent you a pm giving you a link to a support group. Plus you always have everyone here.

I have been through a similar situation. My ex husband started out being jealous of my horse to the point I was never allowed to be at the barn without him. Then it turned into him being jealous of my friends then my job and then he got me pregnant and we moved to another part of the country and I was isolated and he controlled every moment of my life. He made me believe I could not live without him and that no one would ever want me because I was to messed in the head. 

It just got worse and worse and worse until the day he was ready to kill me and our 6 month old son.

Its now been 2 years since I have left him and I have the most amazing supportive man in my life who actually was my high school sweetheart. He loves me and loves my animals and supports me riding and my bunny and my dog. He loves me for being me and does not try to make me a person that I am not.

There is hope and there is help and you will always have wonderful "online friends" who will be here to listen to you and support you and let you rant vent and scream and we will never judge you. You obviously have a beautiful soul to have the animals you do and love them as much as you do. 

Hang in there *hugs*


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## Jynxie

Hey,

I'm actually going through a really bad break up right now as well. He moved out two weeks ago to take a break and then he really started to change. Then this Saturday he broke up with me (on our three year anniversary).

I've had a lot of good advice and if you'd like to talk, feel free to message me.

I agree that this doesn't sound healthy and I think you know it isn't working, and I definitely learned that love is blind with my past relationship and that as soon as we finally broke up and cut contact... I've been SO MUCH happier and it's literally been ONE day.


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## Cheenisowner

* Hi Jen :hug2:

You know sometimes when it comes to relationships we have to go through the bad to get to the good. Dealing with verbal abuse and healing from it is a long and tedious process and I agree with a member who wrote earlier in this topic that physical abuse heals easily but verbal lingers and dwells. I know it must be hard because you love him but by loving yourself first and getting yourself back to your happy place is worth more than the hurt he is putting you through. Seems like you have been through a lot, apart from this relationship as well, but always know that we here are here for you if you ever need to talk! There has been some GREAT advice for you, from what I've read, and I know it is always easier said than done but you will get through it I promise you. When you look back from the future you will be able to see how much strength you were able to gain for yourself. Just know you DO have the capability of healing your inner self from this stress and it'll get easier as each day passes. Message me if you would ever want to talk  *


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## Anaira

Haven't posted in here before, because I have absolutely nothing to add that people haven't already said, far better than I could, but now I just wanted to let you know I'm here too, and I'm thinking about you. :hug2: I'm horribly shy, I don't make friends easily at all either, but it's always easier online. I think it was a good thing to deactivate your facebook, and just taking a further step back from it all. Maybe start a completely new one, and just add the real friends you know will completely understand? If you do, feel free to pm me and add me; I'd love a few more bunny-loving friends.


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## gmas rabbit

Morning Jen - just checking to see how you are doing. Hope you are finally getting some sleep. Sounds like you have alot of people interested in facebooking you if reset up. Hang in there.


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## BunnyLove89

Oy. Im exhausted. I got 4 hours of sleep and I planned on doing absolutely nothing today. I was already restless by 9 this morning and even though i reeaally did not feel like getting ready, i did anyway. I ran a few errands and then relaxed for a bit. Ive been feeling bad for my dogs because i havent been doing much with them. Alot of days i dont even open the blinds so the house is dark alot. My chi-pom, Chico, is turning 9 and he is perfectly fine to relax on the recliner chewing on a bone all day. Maggie, on the other hand, is a crazy pug and she needs alot of activity. I decided to take them both for a walk. I had to take them separately because maggie hates chico. So chico and i went for a walk and then i came back for maggie and we went for a run. She and i were dead when we got back. We're both out of shape lol. I hate excercising but it was nice to see my dogs so happy. I sprained my ankle awhile back so the running was a bit rough for me but it wasnt too bad. I


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## ZRabbits

Good to hear you got out of the house! Exercise can be good for you at a time like this. Especially with a sweet companion. 

Keep strong. Lean on those sweet companions for support. They will help you through this. 

Hope you have a good day today. Keep the faith. 

K


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## gmas rabbit

Hope you have another walk planned for you and the doggies. Good to be tired from exercise, it is a healthy tired and will allow you to sleep and rest. Hang in there


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## MiniLopHop

Hi. Just checking in to see how today is going. Getting some exercise and sunshine can really help. I wore myself out in the garden yesterday and it helps with the anxiety. Have you tried a hot bath before bed? That can help with sleep. :hug:

I'm also terrible at making friends. I have lived in PA for about 10 years now and only have one friend in the area. I agree that most people tend to be much more idle chatter than really talking. It's also an introvert/extrovert difference. It's much harder as an introvert, which I'm guessing you are from what you have said, to reach out and make friends. Plus, there aren't as many of us in society so finding each other can be a challenge. I would suggest checking out "the introvert advantage" from your library. It gave me so many ah ha moments and it felt great to understand why I do things and that I'm not wrong for being this way.


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## BunnyLove89

I slept a little bit better last night. Still not enough tho. I even took sleep supplements before bed and at 4 this morning. I was quite groggy this morning! I was outside smoking and I dozed off resulting in me dropping my lit cigarette on my foot. That woke me up fast!
I called my boyfriend last night (we were texting and calling was faster) and I ranted quite a bit. It felt kind of good to talk to him because he knows me really well. I was talking to him about this forum and how it's sad that none of my "friends" who i've know for almost 2 years will talk to me or reply to anything i've written, but so many strangers are being incredibly supportive. 
This morning I got a haircut. I've been putting it off but since I have nothing else to do, I figured it was a good time. I also rented a movie to watch tonight. 
I don't know why, but i'm still getting dizzy frequently and feeling like i'm going to faint. It happened while I was driving today. 
I doubt i'll take the dogs out today. It is really hot. I'll find something else to do with them...


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## ZRabbits

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> I slept a little bit better last night. Still not enough tho. I even took sleep supplements before bed and at 4 this morning. I was quite groggy this morning! I was outside smoking and I dozed off resulting in me dropping my lit cigarette on my foot. That woke me up fast!
> I called my boyfriend last night (we were texting and calling was faster) and I ranted quite a bit. It felt kind of good to talk to him because he knows me really well. I was talking to him about this forum and how it's sad that none of my "friends" who i've know for almost 2 years will talk to me or reply to anything i've written, but so many strangers are being incredibly supportive.
> This morning I got a haircut. I've been putting it off but since I have nothing else to do, I figured it was a good time. I also rented a movie to watch tonight.
> I don't know why, but i'm still getting dizzy frequently and feeling like i'm going to faint. It happened while I was driving today.
> I doubt i'll take the dogs out today. It is really hot. I'll find something else to do with them...



I took sleep suppliments just once and never again. If you don't sleep long, as you took one at 4 am and got up in a couple hours, it will be make sleepy and dizzy. It did me. Only had 4 hours after taking the suppliment and I was dizzy and falling asleep all day. Just watch yourself with those.

A hot bath, exercise, working in a garden are so much better than sleep suppliments. 

Glad you got a haircut. Doing something nice for yourself always helps.

K


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## MiniLopHop

Lavendar is a great sleep aid, just put a little on your pillow. Or chamomile tea, you can even share it with your bunny! There's nothing cuter than sharing a nice cup of tea with a bun, mine love it. Just don't put any sugar in it and make sure it's not too hot. Also be forwarned they will quickly learn how to drink out of mugs so you have to be more careful about putting drinks where they can reach when it is not to be shared. 

If you get into a good routine it really helps. I turn down lights at 8 pm (I tend to be very sensitive to light levels). A nice warm bath at 9, chamomile tea and reading in bed snuggling a bun until 10. Then out for the night. Just make sure the book isn't too exciting or it is hard to tear yourself away. Soft music is good as well so you don't hear every little noise while you are trying to sleep. By doing the same thing every night it helps your body get used to what is expected and sleep comes easier. I would recommend against naps or sleeping in until you have a more stable night's sleep.

Caffine and alcohol are also not a good idea if you aren't sleeping well. I have fibromyalgia so have had sleep issues all my life. Missing zzzzz can make things miserable.


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## BunnyLove89

MiniLopHop wrote:


> Lavendar is a great sleep aid, just put a little on your pillow. Or chamomile tea, you can even share it with your bunny! There's nothing cuter than sharing a nice cup of tea with a bun, mine love it. Just don't put any sugar in it and make sure it's not too hot. Also be forwarned they will quickly learn how to drink out of mugs so you have to be more careful about putting drinks where they can reach when it is not to be shared.
> 
> If you get into a good routine it really helps. I turn down lights at 8 pm (I tend to be very sensitive to light levels). A nice warm bath at 9, chamomile tea and reading in bed snuggling a bun until 10. Then out for the night. Just make sure the book isn't too exciting or it is hard to tear yourself away. Soft music is good as well so you don't hear every little noise while you are trying to sleep. By doing the same thing every night it helps your body get used to what is expected and sleep comes easier. I would recommend against naps or sleeping in until you have a more stable night's sleep.
> 
> Caffine and alcohol are also not a good idea if you aren't sleeping well. I have fibromyalgia so have had sleep issues all my life. Missing zzzzz can make things miserable.



I have OCD and PTSD (as well as other mental illnesses) so I thrive on routine. Since my boyfriend and I aren't together i've been sticking with the routine I had on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (which were the days that my boyfriend didn't come over). During the day I can do whatever and it doesn't mess with me, but at night it has to go according to schedule. At 5 I get Weston (bunny) out and put him on my bed. At 7 I feed my goats. At 8:15 I turn on a 45 min. show. When that show ends, I take my meds, feed my mice, feed my dogs, put them to bed, and turn off all the lights. About 20 minutes later I put Weston back in his cage. I have to fall asleep to tv otherwise I can't sleep. I've been like that for almost 11 years. 
Haha, I'll have to try sharing some chamomile tea with Weston. He'll probably claim it as his...he claimed my dinner last night and kept sneaking over and trying to get it.:rollseyes


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## MiniLopHop

LOL Weston sounds so cute! I have found that Sophie has quite the reach when she wants something, which is usually food.

That's good that you already have a routine that you are comfortable with. You know what works for you and that is what is important.


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## BunnyLove89

So my boyfriend is really starting to irritate me. 
He called me again today and when I didn't answer, he texted until I answered. I told him that I don't want to be talking alot, and he said that I said we could text. All I said regarding texting was that he could text me if he needed me and couldn't get ahold of anyone else. But he was just calling today because he was bored. I know I probably shouldn't have talked to him last night, but still. 
I just brought my facebook back up and he messaged me on chat. He wants to come over tomorrow and talk about us. I don't really want to see him tho! And we've only been on a break for 5 days so to me it's definitely too soon to be deciding where we'll go from here. We were supposed to wait a month before talking about it. I asked if he could elaborate, but then he said that he had to go and he signed off.
I really don't know what to make of this. :?


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## gmas rabbit

He is still trying to control you. Block him from your cell phone and facebook. I would not see him,especially yet. You are still struggling to sleep and get things under control. You do not need him upsetting things more. I like your routine, ignore the boyfriend for awhile, settle in your routine, take Brandy's advice about the lavender, tea and hot bath. Get yourself settled and know where you are going and what you want before you confront the boyfriend. If it is suppose to be, it will wait. Otherwise it is just a control trip for him, especially since he texted you and got you upset and then signed off just like that. You sound so much better in just the few days. I am so glad you too time out for you and got a hair cut.


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## BunnyLove89

:banghead Oh. My. Gosh. I've gone from being irritated to really angry. I decided to switch from NA to AA hoping that not being in the same fellowship as my bf will help, since what i've been doing obviously isn't working. My boyfriend was texting me last night and I guess he has been talking to people (mostly females) from AA (he and I were both in NA). I told him that I want my recovery separate from his and I want different friends, not mutual friends so that I don't run into the same problem as before. He said that he was just trying to help. It's infuriating that he ALWAYS finds some way to get to people first. Even when I add people on facebook he asks who they are and then adds them as well. 
I've told him repeatedly that if I want help, I will ask for it. 
So now i'm starting to think that there is no point in going to AA since my boyfriend got to my potential friends within a few hours of me telling him I was switching.


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## BunMommaD

I haven't said anything here yet... But in reading through all your posts, I just wanted to tell you! 

That YOU are a beautiful person!
YOU deserve a man who will respect you and your wishes!
A man how will treat you with dignity!
Who will love you enough to give you your space!
A man who will love you MORE than himself...
Someone who want to absolute BEST for YOU!
A partner who can be your "soft place to fall"
Someone who will BETTER your day,
And lessen the stress in your life!
Someone who will out YOUR needs before his own...

I was in a really really verbally and in the end physically abusive relationship a few years before I met my husband... I didn't think I was worth anymore than what I was getting from this guy... He was so controlling and manipulative it was crazy! I never wanted me to see my family or my friends, unless he was there... He was paranoid and had serious anger issues! I knew after a month of dating him he was bad news, but I stayed because I thought he loved me and I figured having HIM loved me was better than no one... It took me 2 whole years to get up the courage to walk away... No RUN away! And he went crazy! So much so I had to move back home to parents house for safety! There were countless restraining orders, he had random people follow me for close to a year... And none of it stopped until he went to jail...

All this to say, we are here for you and understand where you are! It sounds like you are making positive steps! Stay strong! ((Hugs))


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## Bonnie Lee

I hope you are okay. I really think you should block him and stop telling him anything because it seems like he's using any bit of info to get infrint so he can keep control.

It's supposed to be a break... You need complete space from him.
I understand it's hard but you have to realize what's best for your animals ad your needs and him being like this isn't helping you which will affect your poor pets

keep strong!


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## MiniLopHop

I have to agree, a complete break is what you need. Block him on FB and anyone you find out is giving him information about you because they are not really your friends. No phone calls, no texts, NO VISITS! He needs to be compeltely out of your life. He is going to use every little bit of information against you to menipulate the system. He clearly wants to control you, which frightens me. That level of control is a precurssor for abuse. He already verbally abuses you and it's only a matter of time before the physical violence starts. Please, for your and your animals sake cut all contact.

Is there another AA or similar group you can go to that he wouldn't already know about? Perhaps support on-line if you live in a small place? Just to get out you could join a book club at your local library, he wouldn't be expecting that. You could get out and talk to people in a low stress environment and get your mind preoccupied with something positive. Take the time to build yourself up to be the best you possible. He spent enough time tearing you down, now you have to un-do the damage.

I have been there, my confidence shattered and feeling I was a horrible person that couldn't function without him. Breaking lose was the best thing I ever did. My driends confornted me when they saw bruises, eventhough I tried really hard to hide them. What would I say if it were happening to one of them? You wouldn't put up with a man hurting your friends or family members the way he is doing to you, so please don't let him do it to you anymore either. You are stronger than you think and we are here to support you.

I hope you don't think I sound preachy, I just want to help since I have been there before. My heart breaks for you. :hug:


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## BunnyLove89

He just broke up with me...he said that he isn't able to love me for who I am right now and i'm not making changes fast enough... :sad::cry4:


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## ZRabbits

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> He just broke up with me...he said that he isn't able to love me for who I am right now and i'm not making changes fast enough... :sad::cry4:



Meaning he doesn't have full control of you any more. You are not saying what he wants to hear, and you are not following the pattern you did in the past for his total control.

It's for the best. If he REALLY loved you, he would wait for you to work it out by yourself. 

K


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## Samara

ZRabbits wrote:


> If he REALLY loved you, he would wait for you to work it out by yourself.



^ Yes. 

Super hugs.


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## MiniLopHop

> ZRabbits wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> If he REALLY loved you, he would wait for you to work it out by yourself.
Click to expand...



True love is not that selfish. He wants you to come crawling back begging forgiveness and fall under his total control. You are so much better off without him dragging you down!

It hurts, but you will come out so much stronger and braver. This is for the best. :hug:


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## BunnyLove89

He also told me that he didn't want to prolong it in case I was holding onto false hope that it would work out. He said that he has already started healing. 
He also mentioned that he might start going to AA meetings as well... :sigh:
Even though we had some major issues I still feel like my dream fell apart...


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## Samara

:hug2:


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## gmas rabbit

Hugs and prayers. With a complete break you have half a chance of healing. His control is scary. My daughter was in a relationship that her ex- husband tried to run her over and then burn the house down with her & the kids in it. I begged her for years to get out, but she was scared. Not only was he physically, emotionally and spiritually abusive, he was controlling of her and the kids. Threatened her so much she just felt that staying was easier then fighting. Now years later she wonders why she stayed so long. The emotional scars on her and the kids will be with them forever. As hard as it is, a complete break is necessary. We are all here for you, believe me some of us have seen or been in similar situations. Hugs to you. PM anytime.


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## fuzz16

give it a few weeks and as you grow stronger you will look back and roll your eyes. but right now, just get ahold of me if you need to. i remember how much i cried and didnt eat...and smoked too much even though he was a horrible person to me. *hugs*


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## Nancy McClelland

:hug2:


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## BunnyLove89

Thanks everyone. I'm sure I would be feeling much worse had I not found this forum. I apologize if I've come across as whiny at all. I am usually not an emotional person.

I'm feeling a bit thrown under the bus by my now ex. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. He's been on facebook posting songs that make me look like a horrible person. This is one of them: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/a-day-to-remember-lyrics/casablanca-sucked-anyway-lyrics.html

I don't know what I did wrong or what I did to him that makes him so angry. He was the one that chose to make the break permanent, after only 6 days. He still wants to be friends but how can I even try to be friends with someone who makes me feel like I am nothing...


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## gmas rabbit

Jen - put this into prospective. He is vindictive and controlling and this is his way of trying to hurt you. Ignore it and him. He is being incredibly childish. You are better than this and so, so worth so much more than him. Onward and upward. See if you can find a dog walking group. Not necessary to hang out with just young people, some of us older ones enjoy your company. As for being whiny, we all are on occasion, that is what friends are for to vent at. Hugs and nosebonks.


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## ZRabbits

*BunnyLove89 wrote: *


> Thanks everyone. I'm sure I would be feeling much worse had I not found this forum. I apologize if I've come across as whiny at all. I am usually not an emotional person.
> 
> I'm feeling a bit thrown under the bus by my now ex. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. He's been on facebook posting songs that make me look like a horrible person. This is one of them: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/a-day-to-remember-lyrics/casablanca-sucked-anyway-lyrics.html
> 
> I don't know what I did wrong or what I did to him that makes him so angry. He was the one that chose to make the break permanent, after only 6 days. He still wants to be friends but how can I even try to be friends with someone who makes me feel like I am nothing...


Everyone has been through something like this. It's tough but an addict needs a scape goat. And this is the scape goat game. Friends? Nah, Just another form of control.

He's the nothing. Not you. He's the fool who walked away. Oh well. Didn't read the lyrics, just the title. That's a child's response to something he knows he did himself. Lost you. Shame on him. 

Now it's a full break. Don't worry about what is being said. Really, your true friends will see through this spiteful game. Don't spend time explaining what he's doing. People will know. 

I don't know if this is quoted right, but one door closes, but another always opens. That door is closed, and my advise is lock it and keep it locked, and go through that open door which is another chapter of your life. 

And btw, I don't consider what you've posted as whining. Take care! It will get better. 

K


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## MiniLopHop

Please don't let him bully you anymore. I highly recommend blocking him on FB and any "friend" that reports information either way. You are worth so much more than what value he places on you. He is not worth your time or emotions. I agree, lock that door with bolts and chains, never to be opened again. Now you can concentrate on making yourself happy and healthy as an individual, on your own. When love it right it will happen, but for now you need to take care of yourself.

You are really hurting and it is a good thing to reach out to friends. We are happy to support you, it's not whining when you are honestly hurting. :hug:


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## gmas rabbit

Sorry Jen didn't mean to imply that I actual thought you were whiny, because you sure aren't. Just wanted you to know that we have all been in a tough place and reaching out to friends is what friendship is all about. Hang in there.


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## EileenH

> I don't know what I did wrong or what I did to him that makes him so angry.


No no no!! You did nothing wrong! I just read through this whole thing and was just about to tell you that starting on page 3, there was such a change in you for the better. There is no doubt that he saw that too and decided to pull out the big gun to regain control of you. 

You did nothing wrong except try to regain some respect for you and for your animals. Never ever feel that you did anything wrong here. Everybody else has said it too but when people really care about each other, they give each other what they need to feel better, even if what that is is space.

If that one support group did not work out for you, look for another one, perhaps one less religious. If that doesn't work, just keep talking here.


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## BunnyLove89

I was just looking through my pictures from when my boyfriend and I were still together. These are my favorites:

This is when we first started dating:






The next 2 are from a year later:










This was a few days before the break:


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## MiniLopHop

You are so beautiful! He isn't as cute as you are either. You are his better in every way. I suggest you burn the old photos etc. to put the past behind you.


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## kmaben

EEK! I love your new haircut! And that looks like a real smile all of a sudden. :wink

Been reading through. Lots of good people on here. Feel free to facebook me as well. Kaley Maben. Same avatar as my shi shi avatar on here. Extrovert extraordinaire. Not the best listener (working on it) but love to laugh WITH others. Not AT others. Unless that other is my husbands dog Sam. He's always good for a laugh.

Here for you honey


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## MyBabyHasPaws

I'm really late here...
but you should really think twice about this guy.

The way I see it, you either love me AND my rabbits or you love neither and you can keep it moving! 

There is a very strict pack order in my house, it goes as follows.

My children
My rabbits
My husband

And they all know this... 

Good luck!


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## hunterbaby05

I once had a bf that didn't really like my animals and was also highly allergic to them! I met my current bf 3 years ago and he adores my animals  I let him know in the beginning, "love me, Love my pets!" He has been so great even helped me with my ailing dog who had cancer before christmas, and stayed right with My dog Hunter and I in the room when I decided to make the toughest decision in my entire life and end his pain. I told him he could wait outside but he decided to stay with me and Hunter. He loves all of my 6 bunnies and comes with me everytime they need to go to the vet for support. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I found that I needed to get out of a relationship because my SO did not like animals. My animals come first and I'm lucky that I found someone as loving as the bf I am with now. I really think that if the person you are dating really does love you with all there being and all there heart they will also love your animals as well. Good luck with your endeavors! Hope eveything works out for the better!!

Edit: Oh didn't know that you broke up! Sorry!!


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## Nancy McClelland

Just have to say that even though it hurts, you are better off. Every time I hear someone talk about change, I just have to laugh. We are who we are and no one really changes--they may hide their nature, but they don't change. Hang in there. It took me awhile to find someone that would put up with me, but I did 36 years ago this August and we're still going strong. Just a little hint--if he wasn't an ass he wouldn't be posting things that are mean. A petty person would do things like that. Good luck.


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## BunnyLove89

I've been feeling pretty good today! Woke up at 4 again which was annoying. 
But I got a good start on cleaning the house for when my parents get back. It needed it. Bad. I blame Weston. How can I possibly have time to keep the house clean when I have such an adorable bunny to play with? 
For awhile when I was cleaning I was hearing my ex in the back of my mind, especially things he's said lately. Mainly 2 lines from a song he posted on facebook about how he's feeling "Look at everything. Look at all you've become...nothing more than a memory" and "you make me sick with every move you make. when will you find your place in this world? because it will never be beside me again". Just kinda sucks knowing that's how he feels about me, the person he "loves". 
I've also been trying to park in the middle of the driveway because he hates when I do that and anytime I would forget, he would comment and have me come outside and look at my parking job. Heaven forbid he have to park in the street, like he did for over a year. 
It's just hard to undo habits...
Other than that, my mood has been pretty good. Weston has been helping. 
Oh, I did have a somewhat comical start to my morning. I wandered into the kitchen still trying to wake up and I pulled out the garbage can to throw something away and there was a mouse hopping around in it! I cautiously carried the trash out to the front yard while the mouse was jumping up almost touching my hand each time. Just as I was about to let it go, it registered that it looked exactly like one of my mice, Kassadee. So I ran inside and checked to make sure she hadn't escaped then ran back out to release the mouse. Afterwards I realized how stupid I must have looked running back and forth in my pjs (boxers and a baggy t-shirt). I was pretty awake after that!


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## fuzz16

Cleanings therapitical lol. I getupset and i lock myself in bathroom or kitchen and stsrt scrubbing teeny specs that i know wpnt come off haha. Your so pretty  
I listened to all over you and some hinder lol..the vorny songs made me feel better. Find some good moving on songs and youll find yourself smiling! 

Howd a mouse get under the trash bag? Lol.


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## BunnyLove89

fuzz16 wrote:


> Cleanings therapitical lol. I getupset and i lock myself in bathroom or kitchen and stsrt scrubbing teeny specs that i know wpnt come off haha. Your so pretty
> I listened to all over you and some hinder lol..the vorny songs made me feel better. Find some good moving on songs and youll find yourself smiling!
> 
> Howd a mouse get under the trash bag? Lol.



I hate cleaning lol. 
Yeah, i've been listening to alot of music lately. It helps.
As for the mouse, I hadn't put a new garbage bag in yet. 

I got 8 hours of sleep last night! :yahoo: I had my phone by my head and I even slept through 16 texts from my brother, and a phone call/voicemail from him.


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## SnowyShiloh

Jen, it sounds like you may be feeling a little better about things since you've been sleeping better the past couple nights! What do you think? I'm sorry you're sad he broke up with you (very understandable!!), but I'm glad he did because you really need to be free of him. The things you said he does raised a ton of red flags, but for some reason to me, the thing about him friending all of your Facebook friends and switching to your AA group was one huge, crimson red, enthusiastically waving flag!


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## MyBabyHasPaws

Cleaning always helps me! When my husband see's me with my red bandanna on, my sweats and a tank he KNOWS i mean business LOL! So glad to hear that you left him! Sooo happy for you


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## MiniLopHop

Scrubbing is therapeutic, particularly to NIN or "man hating music" as my husband calls some of my harder tunes by women (think Tori Amos). I turn it up and scrub out all my frustrations. He gives me a wide berth.

Congratulations on getting good sleep! It will help you heal and help your mood. You really are so much better off. :hug:


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## gmas rabbit

Way to go Jen, sounds like you are on the way to recovery. Nothing like a wee mouse in the garbage to wake a person up. Love your hair.


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## kmaben

Good news on the sleeping! It's a sign things are getting better for you. how's the zoo crew?


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## BunnyLove89

My zoo is good! I've spent the past 6 hours with Weston. I got him some new toys from the thrift store and he's been investigating them as well as my laptop, my pillows, my tv remote, my cell phone, my hair, etc.  He is in a goofy mood and has been in crackhead mode running laps around my bed lol. He also was doing serious plotting on how he could steal my lunch. Everytime I leaned over to get my drink, I would catch him with his paws on my plate. I had a burger and I offered him a piece of lettuce but he just sniffed it then sulked off in defeat. Before I got Weston out I had a very frustrating day, but his mood has definitely helped my mood.


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## gmas rabbit

Aren't bunnies the sweetest things. They make life fun and enjoyable. Derby does laps too. Not today as he is recovering from his neutering, but probably again soon. Last night he layed and snuggled, tell he wasn't quite himself.


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## ZRabbits

Stopped by to see how you were doing. So thrilled Weston is making you smile. Bunnies have that awesome ability to perk up my day too. 

BTW, saw your pic. All I can say is, boy did he loose out. What a loser he is. 

You are a beautiful girl and deserve the same love and commitment you put into a relationshiop. Weston is showing you just that with his sweet ways. 

Keep that chin up! 

K


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## gmas rabbit

Hey how about a photo of you and your best guy, Weston. He sounds like a real cuties and definitely loves his mom. Derby sends his love and nose bonks. Hope you have plans for another outing today.


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## BunnyLove89

This has been an interesting day. 
I didn't sleep well and once my nighttime meds wore off (around 9:30) I went to the store to get cigarettes and I wound up renting 2 movies as well. I hate watching scary/horror movies alone, so I got Weston out. He played for awhile then slept in his tube while I pet him occasionally. I've spent about 8 hours with him today. I got the house cleaned and relaxed a bit. 
A couple hours ago I was really hungry so I went to pick up something from burger king. On my way back, a motorcycle had crashed in front of me. The entire right side of the bike was pretty mangled and the guy was laying on the ground (no helmet). People were already getting out of their cars to help. I lost my apetite and really thought I was going to throw up (i don't do well with stuff like that). So that messed with me. 
My parents should be home in a couple hours so i'm trying to enjoy my last few moments of peace and quiet. I'll definitely be glad to relinquish some of the responsibilities tho, especially managing my brother.


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## BunnyLove89

gmas rabbit wrote:


> Hey how about a photo of you and your best guy, Weston. He sounds like a real cuties and definitely loves his mom. Derby sends his love and nose bonks. Hope you have plans for another outing today.



I'll try taking a pic of me and weston soon. He's not a fan of being picked up/held.


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## BunnyLove89

So I was just talking to one of my friends from back home and I was telling her about what has really been going on with my ex. She was saying "ha" and "lol" alot. 
I got pretty upset because I don't see how it's funny!
She also said that I need to look at my part and what I did wrong. I was thinking to myself "umm..that's all i ever did!"
That definitely hurt my feelings... :sigh:


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## gmas rabbit

We are a weird and insensitive species at times. Quite often more likely to joke and make fun of situations that make us uncomfortable, rather than be comforting and sensitive. Possibly it was over your friends comfort zone and she didn't know what to say to encourage you. Either way it was unfair and disturbing for you. Don't take it personally, realize that you have already analized your part and are ready to go on. Let it go and leave the past where it belongs, in the past. You are doing great and have made big advancements in the past week. Pat yourself on the back, wrap both your arms around yourself and hug tightly. That is from Derby and I.


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## BunnyLove89

I seriously want to scream and/or punch something right now. 
My ex is being such a d**k! He has been contacting me at least 3 times a day. If I ignore him, then he just keeps texting wondering what i'm doing. He wanted to talk on the phone today and I gave in. He told me that he almost stopped by the other night. When I told him that I don't want to see him yet, he basically said that even though it would hard, it would be harmless. Then he said he wanted to make sure that I wasn't still hoping we'd get back together. When I told him that I wasn't, he just said "good. because your actions lately have reaffirmed my decision to split." He keeps asking who i've talked to about us and what their opinions are. And he keeps asking about things that aren't any of his business (like if i've been keeping my room clean and if i've been behaving myself)! I really thought that the break-up would bring about some relief, but it hasn't. I feel like anything I say to him can and will be used against me. I let my guard down and I vented to him yesterday about how I feel like I can't talk to certain people. And the one person I mentioned most sent me an obligatory text last night asking how I was doing. I answered and she never got back to me. I can only assume that he told her what I said (and he most likely added some stuff too). 
I'm extremely frustrated and since my parents are back, my dad uses the laptop most of the day so I have very little time to actually talk to people online. 
My sleep was better for awhile, but it got bad again and i've been having nightmares and I wake up really sweaty from them.
Sorry for the rant...


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## BunMommaD

My opinion? Yu don't feel relief during the "break" because you haven't really broken away from him completely if you are still texting and talking... He is so desperately trying to continue to control you! Call your cell company and have his number blocked! He won't be able to call or text you anymore and you'll have some time to really get a clear head!

Big hugs!!! We are here for you!!!


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## MiniLopHop

Can you block his number on your phone? Don't give him any information because he deffinately will use it against you. He is out of your life and I hope you are starting to see that is for the best. Look at how happy Weston is with his new lovely set-up! He is still trying to control you. 

Tell him if he continues to contact you or if he ever stops by you will get a restraining order, then DO IT if he won't respect your boundaries. He is so menipulative, you are so much better without him.

:hugs:


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## Anaira

He is harassing you.  It sounds like he is out to really upset you, because he desperately needs to get control over you back; classic control freak. He needs to be able to control you and your life in any way he can; I doubt he will be stopping any time soon. I suggest you get a new phone, or at least a new number, and break with him and everyone from that past life. Sounds like you don't need them, anyway. But if you keep the old phone, too, you can still have contact with people you don't want to delete, but might be inclined to give him your new number.

It actually feels really good going through and deleting contacts.  It helps to free yourself in your mind from it all. I also suggest starting a new facebook page, and only adding non-mutual friends. Btw, if you or anyone else wants to add me, I'm Ariana Wilson; I have the poster of Reuben as my current pic.  Wouldn't mind some more rabbit friends!


p.s., he looks like a loser.  Just sayin', he does! I'm not joking when I say you actually look like you're from a higher class from him.


wow I'm in a talkative mood today.


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## gmas rabbit

Jen, I certainly agree with the advise above about blocking this guy, changing your facebook and dropping anyone who says they are your friend and then uses you to report back to him. Get your dad to let him know in no uncertain terms that he is not to contact you. If all other fails, definitely put a restraining order on him. He is dangerous. How do I know?? As I said before, my daughter's ex tried to burn the house down with her and the kids in it, and tried to run her down with the car. It is a control issue, and HE will go to any extreme to control and make your life miserable. Good for you recognizing his dangerous potential and getting out, before you were married, before you had kids. Hang in there, we are all here for you.


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## BunnyLove89

I told him yet again that i'm not ready to be friends (after he sent me 4 messages plus a song on facebook). If he doesn't respect that, than I will consider blocking his number. I'm not going to drag my dad into this, he's never been one to express interest in any of my relationships. That was always my older brother's place. My brother and I's relationship is strained at times, but he did tell me 2 days ago that he is glad i'm not with him anywhere because it didn't seem good for me and my bf was always making rules for me and making me look/feel stupid. 
Anyway, my boyfriend does seem somewhat set on hurting me. He made a comment earlier that he's tempted to go have meaningless sex with other girls. I can't tell him not to since we aren't together, but he knows saying that would hurt me. Especially since I tried SO hard to keep that from happening when we were together even though he knew it was really hard for me since I had been in a relationship a few years ago where I was raped. (Sorry if this isn't thread-appropriate. Mods, just PM me if I need to edit, or erase this last paragraph).
I just wish he would stop telling me that he loves me and is there for me.


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## Bonnie Lee

Hmm i'm a bit concerned about the fact you are having so much trouble blocking him. You should not even consider it you should just do it. Honestly you are better than that and it's obvious he doesn't want to be your friend he just wants to control you for his own twisted game.

The way he is acting I would deffinately get a restraining order and if you move on and feel like him being back in your life won't harm you mentally or physically then take the restraining order off...

But I find it a bit unfair everyone one here is really worried about you and care a lot and are giving you so much good advice but your just waving the advice away and continuing with this stressful life style.


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## BunnyLove89

Bonnie Lee wrote:


> But I find it a bit unfair everyone one here is really worried about you and care a lot and are giving you so much good advice but your just waving the advice away and continuing with this stressful life style.



I actually disagree. I've told my mom that me getting Weston was the best thing that could have happened because it brought me to this forum. If I hadn't started this thread, I know for a fact that I would still be with my ex. If you read the entire thread, you should be able to see progress. I know I see progress in myself. I didn't see how he was acting as abusive and I even defended him. I'm not doing that now. I really appreciate all the support that I have recieved. I apologize if I seem like I am dismissing anyone, because that is not my intent. I am just being honest with what is going on and how I am feeling.
It's hard to go from telling someone absolutely everything, to not being able to tell them anything. I think I am getting there tho.


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## Bonnie Lee

My apologies if I offended you, I didn't mean in anyway that you haven't progressed as I can definately see you have come a long way but having night sweats is quite worrying to hear and it must be hard but he isn't being nice in your behalf the way you have explained it and I know what it sounds hard to stop talkin to someone straight away but you will move on and feel that by keeping in contact it has slowed down your progress... I can't explain what I mean properly so I don't know if that makes sense


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## Anaira

She isn't waving the advice away, it's just hard to make changes like that.  It's a process, and I know for me, everything always takes awhile for me to adjust to. I think Jen has relied on him a lot, and it's hard to just walk away from someone when you have feelings for them, even if they aren't treating you well, especially if you're used to them having a lot of control over you. 

As for his immature 'threat'; that sure is a good way of showing how much he loves and cares for you.


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## Bonnie Lee

I can see I've hit a soft spot and I really didn't mean to in anyway if I have hurt anyones feelings. I'm really sorry.

I think it's just hard for me to relate to the situation because I handle things differently which I didn't take into consideration. sorry.


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## MiniLopHop

Bonnie Lee, I think we all know that you mean well and are trying to help :hug:

I have to admit to being a bit frustrated by the continuing contact. When I broke from an abusive bf it was cold turkey, but he had also progressed to hitting me. I think this sicko is still in the mental anguish game. When he threatens to sleep with random people just to hurt you, I would respond "good, hopefully you will get an STD for your toubles and you might learn a lesson". LOL That would sting his ears! 

Seriously though, it's great you are learning to stand on your own again. You do have friends here that care for you and won't stab you in the back by reporting back to him. You don't need thoes frenimies in your life. Weston has your back and will give you lots of love to get through this. :hug:


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## BunnyLove89

MiniLopHop wrote:


> Bonnie Lee, I think we all know that you mean well and are trying to help :hug:
> 
> I have to admit to being a bit frustrated by the continuing contact. When I broke from an abusive bf it was cold turkey, but he had also progressed to hitting me. I think this sicko is still in the mental anguish game. When he threatens to sleep with random people just to hurt you, I would respond "good, hopefully you will get an STD for your toubles and you might learn a lesson". LOL That would sting his ears!
> 
> Seriously though, it's great you are learning to stand on your own again. You do have friends here that care for you and won't stab you in the back by reporting back to him. You don't need thoes frenimies in your life. Weston has your back and will give you lots of love to get through this. :hug:



I just blocked him on my phone. I'm not sure if it is limited to just calls or what. If he is still able to text me I'm going to have my number changed. 
It's just hard because I still have that thought that maybe he isn't aware that what he is doing is hurtful. I know that i'm doing the right thing, but even though he has hurt my feelings so many times, I still don't want to hurt his. I had this dream of us getting married and having kids and living happily ever after. I'm mourning the loss of that dream.


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## gmas rabbit

Hard isn't it, to have to give up on a dream. But, you just dream about getting married and having kids with someone who respects, loves and needs to put you first. Just modify the dream abit. People who have been abused, almost always defend the abuser, it is part of the cendrum. You see it in battered spouses and kids all of the time. It takes time and effort to break that. You are doing your best, just keep at it. It is also hard for you to go from an extremely compassionate, caring person to someone who is tough. You can do it though with tact for you and your animals. Seriously think about a restraining order. Sometimes that is all these bullies need to open their eyes.


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## MiniLopHop

Congratulations on that huge step! That is wonderful you were able to get the courage and strength to block him. I'm very proud of you. :hug:

There will be a grieving process, but now you can truly start to heal rather than having somone pick at the scab all day.

Alma has been married a long time and is very smart. I agree that you can still have the dream, just with someone who is good enough for you rather than someone who would drag you down.


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## holtzchick

Hey, 

I just read through this thread... All I have to say is GOOD FOR YOU!! 

I recently got out of a 2 year relationship that towards the end, my boyfriend tried to manipulate me to stay with him giving me excuses such as "who will you hang out with, how will you get another job, who will drive you around, you don't want to live with your family again I'm better to live with etc" it was brutal! I then realized all of the things everyone has said to you in this thread.

From the sounds of it, we are both kind, honest and very thoughtful people. We deserve WAY better and someone who will respect and love you unconditionally!!! I know it's difficult, I don't have any friends either (heck I don't even have facebook) but I don't need friends really, as long as I have family to talk to since I just moved in with my mother and sister again and my animals, that's all I need. 

Seriously good for you for changing your number and blocking him out!! I am staying friends with my ex since he is not a bad guy, I just think he was manipulating me to be with him since he needs me a lot more than I need him and he knows I was the best thing that ever happened to him (even his mother thinks so and she continues to stay in contact with me!). It feels so good when he says how he misses me and all I can tell him is he will find someone that will lay down and take his crap and that I'm happy getting my life back together because I am! It's so empowering! I know it's difficult, I actually believe that I cured myself from my depression since I was taking antidepressants for a long time and this time it has not come back  Neither has my anxiety about life! 

One day at a time, one step at a time, and congrats on your recovery as well!!! Stay strong!


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## Elliot

Just checking in and I see you have made great strides!ray: You are doing fine. You will come out on the other end a stronger and wiser person. What a great and supportive bunch of people we have here! Someone on my bird forum told me "bunny people are special". She was so right!
Big hugs to you. :hug:


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## BunnyLove89

Thanks everyone. 
My boyfriend has still been writing me and sending me songs on facebook, as well as texting. I asked him to stop. If he doesn't, there will be no more asking. I will change my number and pursue a no contact order. 
Earlier today he told me to "maybe you can look back and see how i've been here for you all along" and "I haven't lost hope in you yet! don't you lose all hope!!"
Even with my doubts, if he asked to get back together I would say no. I have felt SO much better these past several days even with the lack of sleep.
And I know Weston is definitely enjoying all the time I've been spending with him!


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## gmas rabbit

Jen I am so, so proud of you. You are a brave, wonderful woman. Good for you. Someday in the future you will back at this experience and realize how you decided you deserved more and went forward with your life. It will get easier, all relationship ending whether by choice or death require a grieving period. Let yourself grieve the loss of a dream and an illusion. Pick yourself up and then go on. We are here for you.


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## BunnyLove89

Well my nightmares have progressed to night terrors. They all involve my ex. 
He is still trying to talk to me but I haven't been responding. I am in the process of setting up another facebook account. Part of his last text to me said "...life's been a roller coaster for me, I can only imagine yours...anyway, i'll try to not communicate anymore unless you initiate it. Know that this has been really rough on me too...i wish I could do more for ya, but I'm just hangin on for the ride! Doin the best I can!"
It makes me sick that he is complaining that HE is having a hard time. At least he is sleeping well and has friends still...


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## Elliot

You have friends. Ones that genuinely care about you. Please try to look at this more positively, and please know there is someone out there that will love you for who you are, and would never dream of disrespecting you in this manner. HUGSHUGSHUGS


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## BunnyLove89

Elliot wrote:


> You have friends. Ones that genuinely care about you. Please try to look at this more positively, and please know there is someone out there that will love you for who you are, and would never dream of disrespecting you in this manner. HUGSHUGSHUGS



I meant friends outside of the internet, ones that I can hang out with. 
I'm going to see if I can get in to see my psychiatrist early to get different anxiety/depression meds, otherwise i'll have to wait a little over a month. I realized as I was getting ready this morning that I cut my forehead during my night terror last night. That kind of scared me.
I did get out of the house today, after spending a few days without leaving my house. I barely even left my room during that time. My parents and I went to see my horse. My bond with my horse is one of the things I treasure most. He went through alot before I rescued him. He was abused for years and I gained his trust, and now he is the most amazing, beautiful horse. 
I might go see him again tomorrow. If I don't, i'm spending the day with Weston!


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## BunnyLove89

Grrrr! :banghead
My ex is still contacting me so today i researched no contact orders. I guess i can't get one unless he is being charged with something. I don't have any physical proof of any sort of abuse, so basically i'm screwed.


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## SApple

Contact you local police department, you might can get him for stalking. Change your phone number, do not answer any texts or messages he sends you. If he comes to your house call the police, he's trespassing. You can also contact your local shelter for women and get information from them.


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## BabyRue

You need to change your cell phone number and block his email address and block him on facebook as well as anyone else you don't want to talk to. Also lock down your account so no one can see anything unless they are a friend.

As great as no contact orders are. They are useless. They are hard to get unless you have any proof of abuse and witnesses. Even then you can get one but it wont stop him if he really wants to get to you. If anything it will make him more angry and more determined. I've been down this road with my ex husband and my Moms ex husband. 

It is best to just change everything and lock everything down. Change all your passwords. If you use a laptop/computer that he has used I would suggest taking it into a computer shop and having them to a sweep on it to make sure that he has not installed a key logger on your computer. Even if he hasn't used it I would get your computer checked because he could have installed one through an email. Its not hard. 

Good luck. With everything. Also have you checked out the depression forum I suggested to you?


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## Jynxie

Sweetie...
Believe me when I tell you ... You will get over him and you will get happy.
If someone told me a month ago that me and my ex were breaking up and I would be okay, I would have laughed and called them crazy.
I was madly in love with my ex and love truly is blind.

But after we broke up on May 26th (our three year anniversary) and it's been two weeks, I am so much happier without him and I am moving forward with my life.

One of the hardest days was deleting him and his family off my facebook - but it was for the best.

You don't need to deal with him.
Simply tell him to go away (in harsher words if you'd like), block him on facebook, don't even read his texts and don't answer the phone and especially don't answer the door!

You can talk to me if you want to rant to someone and honestly... It feels impossible now, but I feel and look so much better without him. 

Block him, delete him and try to move on from him.

(Also.. He looks like this one guy off animal hoarders - anyone else notice that?)


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## Anaira

Hey, how are things going?  I just saw This on facebook, and thought of you; you should start posting these things on your facebook wall. If he can take digs at you, then you can too! :biggrin: It's not nasty, so he can't even say you are being so. He might get the idea, too.


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## BunnyLove89

Anaira wrote:


> Hey, how are things going?  I just saw This on facebook, and thought of you; you should start posting these things on your facebook wall. If he can take digs at you, then you can too! :biggrin: It's not nasty, so he can't even say you are being so. He might get the idea, too.



Haha, that's awesome.
I'm doing really well! I've actually started talking to a couple of guys online who live in my area. I am going to meet up with one of them soon! (I know the whole meet-in-a-public-place thing) I'm looking forward to it! I made it very clear that if you don't love animals, don't waste my time. I'm scared to tell my parents, lol. They would much rather me go to church to meet guys. :rollseyes


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## MiniLopHop

Be careful not to jump into another relationship too soon. You are still healing from the last one. It's good to have friends, guys and girls, that you can hang out with. If you stand on your own emotionally you will be better off in the end because then you will know that you can do it if you need to. :hug:

Stay strong and remember that you are a beautiful young woman, inside and out.


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## BunnyLove89

Well I would want to get to know him as a friend first and have him meet my animals.


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## MiniLopHop

Good idea. My husbnad and I were friends for 6 months before we started dating, it was the best idea because then when we started dating we were on more even footing and it wasn't all hormones going crazy. The basis of friendship has helped us through the years. It's good to marry your best friend. 

Pets can be a great teller of character. I had an iguanna that had a 100% prediction rate of how a guy would turn out. If greensleves didn't like him, then he ended up being a not so nice guy. Greensleves LOVED Joshua even though Joshua is terrified of reptiles. Greensleves would run up Joshua's legs and sit on his shoulder to give him kisses. Joshua would be petrified and say get him off me. To his credit, even when we got engaged he never said I had to get rid of greensleves, but the arrangement wasn't fair to either of them. Greensleves hated being confined to a cage and Joshua lived in fear. I ended up giving him to a breeder who was thrilled to have a 6 foot, fully mature male who adored people. Apparently most of them get mean. Greensleves was my baby from a hatchling and around so many people and situations he stayed sweet.

Anyway, long story to say let Weston pick


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## gmas rabbit

Good for you, sounds like you are making positive steps forward. I agree to meet in a public place and become friends first. Now as not to totally date myself, oh well everyone knows I have been married for 42 years, when I was a young woman and dating, sex was a strict no, no until after marriage. That way people had to get to know each other and date first. Not that I am saying that you should wait until you are married to have another intimiate relationship,( I have kids and grandkids so am pretty liberal ) but to really get to know the person before you get really serious. I think that you are a wonderful caring and deeply loving person that deserves to have a friend, then boyfriend and finally spouse that thinks the same and adores you and your pets. Len has remained my best friend though all the years, and he is perfectly aware and understands the importance of animals in my life. Hey he is not stupid, he knows his place on the totem pole. lol


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## BabyRue

*MiniLopHop wrote: *


> Good idea. My husbnad and I were friends for 6 months before we started dating, it was the best idea because then when we started dating we were on more even footing and it wasn't all hormones going crazy. The basis of friendship has helped us through the years. It's good to marry your best friend.
> 
> Pets can be a great teller of character. I had an iguanna that had a 100% prediction rate of how a guy would turn out. If greensleves didn't like him, then he ended up being a not so nice guy. Greensleves LOVED Joshua even though Joshua is terrified of reptiles. Greensleves would run up Joshua's legs and sit on his shoulder to give him kisses. Joshua would be petrified and say get him off me. To his credit, even when we got engaged he never said I had to get rid of greensleves, but the arrangement wasn't fair to either of them. Greensleves hated being confined to a cage and Joshua lived in fear. I ended up giving him to a breeder who was thrilled to have a 6 foot, fully mature male who adored people. Apparently most of them get mean. Greensleves was my baby from a hatchling and around so many people and situations he stayed sweet.
> 
> Anyway, long story to say let Weston pick



This is so true. When I first introduced my now ex husband to my horse he kicked him right in the family jewels. Rusty NEVER kicked so we were all shocked.

My two cats hated him too. 

Think I would have taken this as a sign before I married the pitiful excuse of a human being *sigh*


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## BunnyLove89

I feel like I am starting to get my self-esteem back. I really believed that my ex was the only person that would ever want to be with me. But now I have guys who are interested in me even after I laid everything out there and made it very clear how I feel about my animals. I am meeting one of the guys on Thursday. He seems sweet, but kind of immature (even though he'll be turning 30) and he has already asked me to go camping with him this weekend. Then there is this other guy who I really have a good feeling about. He is my age but has been in the military for the past 4.5 years. Right now he is home and is working on his dad's farm. He feels the same as me and wants to take things slow. I have other guys interested, but if a guy sends me a pic of their abs, I don't reply. I'm not going to make a decision about someone based on their body...and i'm REALLY not going to make a decision until he meets my animals. 
My ex just texted me wanting me to explain why I'm friends with one of the guys on facebook. He said he's still jealous and is still stalking my facebook. I'm so not dealing with this before bed. I'll respond tomorrow reminding him that we are no longer dating and it is none of his business who I talk to. 
The fact that he did not respect me when we were dating is why we are no longer dating. And the fact that he is not respecting/listening to me once we broke up is sure ruining his chances of us being friends...


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## MiniLopHop

Good for you standing up for yourself! I would say skip the guy who already wants to go away for the weekend. Sounds like he just wants a booty call, and you deserve better. The second guy sounds like he could be possible. A strong work ethic generally indicates good character.

Re-building self esteem is a long process, but it is worth it in the end because then you can see all the wonderful possibilities for your life. You have so much adventure ahead of you :hug:


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## gmas rabbit

Sounds like you are sizing these guys up carefully. Good for you. Your ex will never have any idea what he lost out on. You are starting to get your self estemn back and realize what we at the forum already know. You are a wonderful person.


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## NorthernAutumn

( Just popping in to say, be safe: don't go away for the weekend with a stranger, please!)


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## BunnyLove89

I'm not going away with him this weekend. Even though it wouldn't be just us, that is WAY too soon. I am meeting him tomorrow tho. 
My ex went off on me again this morning and admitted that he is stalking my facebook. So I'm deleting him today. 
I'm feeling really good. And the past 2 nights I have slept really well! :biggrin:


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## MiniLopHop

:thumbup:weee:arty0002:inkelepht:inkbouce::clapping::woohoo:bunnydance::happyrabbit:



These even look like Weston!

:bunny16:bunny17::bunny5


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## BunnyLove89

I got back from my date 2 hours ago. I wouldn't say it was a TOTAL waste of time, because I realized that I am not ready to date again, but the entire time I was thinking about all the stuff I needed to get done and instead I was on a date. 
Lance was definitely a good ol' country boy, but he was just way too sexual for me. I know that he's a guy, but the things he was saying/doing were not 1st date appropriate. We were supposed to just go out for coffee, but we wound up going to his apartment to watch a movie. Even though it was kind of embarrassing I told him I was going to call my parents and let them know that I wasn't going to be at Starbuck's (since I did meet him online and I would want to know if that was my kid). I asked him to take me home halfway through the movie because I just wasn't enjoying myself. Oh, and he also offered me alcohol AND drugs, and it just made me wonder what his motives were. I told my parents about it when I got home, and they said they were proud of me. I'm proud of myself too. I've learned from past relationships that I have no obligation to anyone but myself (and my animals). I shouldn't feel obligated to continue seeing someone because I don't want to hurt their feelings. 
Once I got home, I let Weston out (he was acting all annoyed that I was late letting him out) and I told my dog that I'm going to stick with spending time with males with fur for awhile. 
It felt good knowing that my parents respected me enough to trust me and I respected myself enough to go with my gut and stick up for myself.


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## Jynxie

When I went on my first date after my break up, I remember just comparing him to my ex 90% of the time. My first date was a fail too though, the guy was practically going to tell me he loved me since he was so obsessed with me, on our first date! It was so inappropriate. 

It's good you stood up for yourself and even asked to go home thoughout the movie, as much as I hated my date I stuck with it till the end, and I wish I didn't LOL. Wasted like 5 hours of my weekend.


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## MiniLopHop

I'm so glad you were able to stick up for yourself! That is horrible to offer someone alcohol and drugs when they are recovering. Did he know? Either way, totally inappropriate. You are lucky he respected your wishes, you would have been safer at Starbucks.

Very wise decision to stick with males with fur, they are your best bet until you are more on your feet and settled. That's great you are able to build more trust with your parents. Every time you make good choices it will become easier.


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## gmas rabbit

Good for you. I am very proud of you. You may have to go through a lot of frogs before you find a prince. Fur boys are a good thing for now at least.


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## BunnyLove89

MiniLopHop wrote:


> I'm so glad you were able to stick up for yourself! That is horrible to offer someone alcohol and drugs when they are recovering. Did he know? Either way, totally inappropriate. You are lucky he respected your wishes, you would have been safer at Starbucks.
> 
> Very wise decision to stick with males with fur, they are your best bet until you are more on your feet and settled. That's great you are able to build more trust with your parents. Every time you make good choices it will become easier.



He does know that I have substance abuse problems. It was hard, especially since he was offering me my drug of choice. Pretty much the only thing that kept me from drinking or getting high was the fact that I did not want to be alone with someone I barely know, while under the influence.
I thought about giving him one more chance since he did tell me that he would try and tone it down, but he also said earlier in the evening that he would wait until the second date to try and get into my pants. 
There were a couple things he did that made me feel kind of violated, and it was the first time I've ever threatened to break someone's balls on the first date...


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## MiniLopHop

Looser, he doesn't get a second chance when he's that bad on a first date. You made the right choice.


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## gmas rabbit

I agree, sounds like he is more interested in getting you high and into bed than anything else. Good call on your part.


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## Toady

Unfortunately creeps seem to be dime a dozen no matter where live, gee wanting to leave it til the second date before getting in your pants what a charmer (not!) Really shows what he was interested in. 

I'm so proud of you for everything you've done and know what you mean about only wanting to spend time with 'males with fur', if they're anything like mine they don't care what you wear and give unconditional love... oh and have no balls (well mine at least)

Good luck we're all behind you!!


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## BunnyLove89

Just a quick update.
I've been doing really well! My sleep has gotten so much better, and except for a few days where I've had a tough time emotionally, i've been in a really good mood. A week ago my ex and I got into a fight which messed with me some, but I tried to not let it affect me too much.
I've been talking to this guy, Matt, and we are really hitting it off. He's really easy to talk to and we have alot in common. We're going on our first date today.


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## gmas rabbit

wooohoo, good luck, hope you find your prince and quit kissing all of those frogs.


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## LakeCondo

But don't rush into anything, even if it seems to be going well. I wouldn't go to someone's place or let them in yours for awhile [like weeks] unless it's your place & other people are there & he could meet the animals.


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## BunnyLove89

:yahoo: Success! 
I took him to the farm to meet Wildfire for our first date. Wildfire likes him! So do the other horses, the kittens, and the goat lol.
Oh, and I like him too!
He is such a sweetheart, is hilarious, and is easy to talk to. I'm cautiously optimistic. 
He's taking me out this weekend for another date. 
My parents are quite anxious to meet him, but i'm gonna wait a little while before bringing him back to the house since my parents can be very overwhelming with all of their questions. From what i've told them so far, they already like him better than my ex. 
I feel like doing a happy dance.


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## LakeCondo

He may or may not be Mr Right but he's clearly Mr Good & not you-know-who Mr Wrong.


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## Elliot

I am hoping life is treating you good now!:hug2:


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## doublebunnylove

I had that problem but i was the one who was jealous!  I live with my fiance and we had gotten our first bunny and we knew we had to get her she was sooooooo in love with my man. But after awhile it seemed like he would always be with her and she would never want to hang out with me even for a couple of minutes. Then we got a boy bun who i dearly fell in love with and even more lucky lucy (my first bun) fell in love with him as well. sometimes things just work out...


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## BunnyLove89

Things are going really well.  My new boyfriend is amazing and he makes me feel so special, something I've never felt before. He's good with the animals, and we've had a talk about the future and if we work out he would be okay with having a farm. 
I wound up changing my phone number because I was being harrassed by my ex. He was saying horrible things and basically telling me that I'm selfish and that my actions affect other people (just because I'm dating someone else and drinking occassionally!). And he says that he resents me for not living up to his expectations and that it's not his fault that I didn't work on my issues with sex while we were together and I made him do all the work (it's pretty much impossible for someone who has been abused to work on sex issues when in a relationship with a sex addict who refuses to try and change!).
I also have people on facebook reporting back to him whenever I post statuses and I have no idea who is doing it. Someone also thought it would be funny to set up a profile on a dating website in my name, with my full name and pictures. So I have guys using that to look me up on facebook. I don't know why poeple who were my friends now dislike me so much... 
I'm still hurt by what he said and i'm trying not to believe that i'm a horrible person like he insinuates I am. I'm really glad to have him out of my life now. Now I just have to get him out of my head.


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## LakeCondo

Those facebook friends, weren't friends. They might be jealous of how well you are doing. Some of it sounds like it's illegal, impersonating you. I'd start a 2nd facebook account & limit it to people you know that don't know Mr X. Then never look at the original account, but keep it as a target for these duds.


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## Bunnymom,K

Wow, I just read through this post, I hope you are doing well. Sounds like a terrible situation you were in. I am a firm believer in making it clear the things that are most important in your life at the beginning of a relationship. Animals can be a very critical part of healthy living for someone with physical, psychological or emotional issues and there is no man that can take the place of those animals.

Before my husband and I got married I had told him that I would get rid of him before I ever got rid of my dogs and if he couldn't deal with that then we couldn't continue into the next stage of our relationship. He said once that although he knew I was serious when I said it he didn't understand just how much I meant it. ;-) We've had rough times and there have been times when the animals have been the center of of the issue, but we work it out and the animals stay. My husband understands and respects my need to have animals in my life and we discuss anything that involves the addition of a new animal (well except for the couple of cats that we found in bad shape and the dog we rescued... those were discussed afterwords.


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## JjGoesBounce

I really hope everything is well! Please keep us updated, if your ex continues. report him for cyberbullying. Report your "friends" and since creating a dating profile without the actual person's permission seems as if it could break a couple rules.

You are extremely beautiful, with a wonderful personality.
Someone who truly loves you, sees you with your personality and no faults. You have one of the strongest attitudes I have ever heard of! Your persistance and common sense is incredible!

I'm sure many people could read this thread and be inspired to change their life and realize that their lives are similar to what yours were.

I wish you the best of luck ever!!

Jj


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## BunnyLove89

Things are going really well for me. Things are not that good at home, but ive been spending alot of time with my new boyfriend. Im a bit hesitant to say this just yet because i dont know the response i'll get, but...matt and i have decided to get married. We're going to wait at least a year before the actual wedding date since hes going to boot camp soon and he cant even get me a ring until he gets paid from that. We know this is what we want and it feels right. He goes to kansas city tomorrow to get sworn in and he's making me a beneficiary so if something happens to him before we get married, i'll be taken care of. Ive never been this happy. <3


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## JjGoesBounce

Congratulations! Thank you for telling us!!! I wish you the best of luck

Jj


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