# My baby Drew is gone...



## maherwoman

I can't handle saying much...but please pray for us. I haven't lost an animal in over ten years, I don't know how to handle this...I never even got to hold my baby girl...

I never even got to kiss her...and I'll miss her so much...she never even got to meet her Mama...or pull pranks on me, or sneak treats from me, or steal things from me...

Little Drew baby...you will be missed so much...you are so loved by so many people...

Please visit me in spirit so I can at least meet you once...


----------



## TinysMom

I can't go into details right now - I will do so later. We just lost Drewsome moments ago and I'm still in shock.

Drew appeared to be healthy till just a bit ago (11 pm Friday night) when Robin said, "She didn't eat any food last night.." and she had some dampness about her nose - which was pretty common for Miss Drew.

I checked on Drew before Robin & I went out to McDonald's and she appeared to be doing good. She'd been her spunky self most of the afternoon and was fighting eating. When Robin & I returned from McDonald's I went to feed her - only to find her gasping for breath.

I rushed to the phone in my office to call Rosie while Robin held Drew..and when I returned...Drew had passed.

I've taken some pictures of her wrapped in the pink towel she will be buried in and I'm asking Art to bury her with GingerSpice and Puck - two of our most rascally rabbits we've ever had. I am thinking of getting a statue of a rabbit to place on her grave.

Rosie & I can share photos later - when the numbness wears off....but for right now all I can say is...

Drew loved to "sneakses" all the time...and one lasttime - she "sneakses" again...right into Rainbow Bridge.

While she was here, she was my darling "Drewsome" because I was always so thrilled (since she was so small) that "Drewsome...grew some". So she knew the name "Drew", "Drewsome", and probably "hey you...". 

Drew - you may be gone - but you will never EVER be forgotten.

Breeder Mama Peg



Edited to add: We may look into having Drew cremated so her ashes can go to her mommy and she'll still have her "baby" there somehow.


----------



## maherwoman

One other thing I would like to add before I go for the night:

I tell people all the time when we say goodnight, "Bye for now"

And that's what I want to say to my baby girl...

Bye for now, Sweet Baby Drew...we'll meet someday, I promise...


----------



## cheryl

Oh no,i'm so sorry Rosie and Peg,that's really sad 

cheryl


----------



## tundrakatiebean

Rosie I am so sorry



Goodbye for now sweetling


----------



## undergunfire

I am so sorry. I am in shock. I am glad that I had the pleasure of meeting Drew and seeing just how fiesty of a little lady she was.

:cry4:


Rest in Peace and Binky free, Drew :rainbow::rabbithop.



Marlin sends his bunny kisses to you. He said he will play with you again someday...


----------



## Bo B Bunny

:tears2:

What's happening with all the babies passing away? It's so sad!

I'm so sorry Rosie! She was just gorgeous!


----------



## myLoki

Oh Rosie. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I just went and gave Lily a big squeeze (which she did NOT appreciate). I cried into her fur a little so she's cleaning herself up again now. I can't believe Drew is gone. I'm so sorry. I'm just bawling right now. 



t.:bigtears:


----------



## TinysMom

*myLoki wrote: *


> I can't believe Drew is gone. I'm so sorry. I'm just bawling right now.
> 
> 
> 
> t.:bigtears:



I held her in my arms - and I still can't believe she's gone. I've been looking at her pictures and videos and asking myself where I went wrong and how I let Rosie and everyone else down. I have considered getting a necropsy done - but I can't afford it and I know it wouldn't change anything.

For those who don't know the full situation - Drew would often have a damp nose with the weather change or with the humidity, etc. Sometimes she'd have a tiny bit of clear discharge also. I would treat her for a bit and she'd get better. 

She stayed teeny tiny for the longest time and then one day a month or so ago I looked at her and she was the same size as Dusty. She had gone over 3 pounds!

Oh - and for a bit it looked like Drew had teeth problems too - then suddenly....poof...they were ok.

It was a shock on Friday night to have Robin say she hadn't eaten the night before....in fact..the night before she'd noticed she hadn't eaten as much as usual (but that isn't unusual here with the weather change). After all - Drew had been running around and binkying in her cage when I worked in here. 

So we discovered about 11 pm on Friday night that she wasn't eating...and shortly after midnight on Sunday morning (25 hours later) - she was gone.

So what happened? We don't really know - and I don't think that Rosie or I can afford a necropsy at this time.

I will share photos later- but I've been crying off and on for about 2 hours now and I just can't look at her photos or videos anymore...it just hurts.

But I guess I just wanted to say - that even after holding her little body after she passed...it is still so hard to believe that this little gal has crossed the bridge. She had so much personality and so much spunk...



Peg


----------



## TinysSis

She was so little, but so tough. I wish . . 

**hugs**


----------



## Bo B Bunny

You know, she might have had some malformed or diseased respiratory system or something - as tiny as she was, and always having the damp nose.... its' so hard to know but it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.


----------



## maherwoman

Oh my sweet baby girl...I'll miss you so much...I think I'm going to have to come here and talk to you often...

I've been crying this entire couple hours, too...and had the hardest time telling Emily. We were originally going to try to get her cremated and brought home to us to put in a little memorial urn, or something...but Em just couldn't handle the thought of it...and asked that we not do that. I respect her thoughts and feelings...so I asked Peg to just go ahead and bury her next to GingerSpice...and I'm okay with it because she'll be laying with a friend...

We're also going to be bringing home the little salt dough bunny Katie made of her and have it mounted on some sort of little memorial...she deserves a special spot in our home.

I'm so thankful, which might sound really weird at a time like this...but I'm so thankful that she was in such amazing care, with people that loved her so much, and she wasn't alone or uncared for. She was in the arms and care of loved ones...and though she was ultimately my baby...they are family, too...and I'm so thankful she was with them.

I'm so thankful she passed peacefully and wasn't alone...those two things help so much...and knowing she's with friends...that helps, too.

Of course, I'm grieving...I couldn't even talk when Peg called to say she'd passed. Peg had called just a few minutes before to say that she didn't think little Drew would make it, and the second time she called, I had to ask Danny to talk...I just knew my baby was gone.

Wow, this hurts so much...it's been so long since I lost one of my babies...oh man, guys, I just don't know what to do with myself. 

I think it'll be days before I can post about anything else or fulfill my modly duties...I feel so incredibly lost. All I could do was go over, on the way to putting Em to bed, and cuddle and cry with Flower...she got more kisses than I'm sure she wanted...but it helped so much. I'm going to just continue to do that...snuggle with my furry fanclub. I know that'll help.

Keep me and Peg in your prayers...we're grieving together...and it's so painful...

And Peg, you're right...there's not a single thing that would help with a necropsy...I just think her little body was never fully strong and healthy. I think she knew she would never make it home to us...and truthfully, I knew as well...it was one of my first thoughts...that my worse thought had come true...

Love to you all...and especially my little girl...you will never ever be forgotten...


----------



## SnowyShiloh

Oh no! I was just reading about Drew and Marlin flirting long distance in Marlin's bunny blog. I'm so sorry. Poor little baby... She was so cute and you could tell how spunky she was just by looking at her picture. I would have loved to have met her.


----------



## maherwoman

I just wanted to post something interesting...

The wind is CRAZY outside right now...I think it's my spunky little girl trying to comfort me...I just have this feeling that she's here with me..and that it's her in the wind letting me know she's home with me...


----------



## TinysSis

It doesn't sound crazy to me. I didn't know her THAT well but it seemed like, if she was going to communicate with someone, it would be through something wild and high-spirited, like the wind. . .

I'm glad she made it to you, at least in part. I was praying that she would make it to her 'heart home' with you when you need it most.

cry4::brown-bunny) = heart hugs for you


----------



## maherwoman

Thank you so so much, Robin...I really really appreciate that. It really means the world to me. I keep thinking it was her being happy to have found us, and letting me know she's okay and happy...not to worry about her anymore...

It's hard to see the pictures...but thank you for sending them my way...

So many regrets...wishing we could've brought them home sooner...etc...


----------



## polly

I am so sorry for both of you Rosie and Peg i couldn't quite believe it when i saw this thread. My heart goes out to both of you :cry1:

Binky free Drew:rose:


----------



## Leaf

Ii am so very sorry


----------



## JimD

i'm so sorry 

...binky free little one.

ray::rainbow:


----------



## BlueGiants

I am so sorry... such a bitty one.... :sad:


----------



## JadeIcing

Oh god this hurts. Rosie and I have spoken so much about Drew. We have made plans of how I was going to go stay with them once they have a house to meet all my neices and nephews. 

I love Drew. Tell Sam I said hi and to watch out for you.


----------



## SOOOSKA

Rosie I am so sorry to hear this news.

Binky Free Drew.

Susan:angelandbunny:


----------



## Phinnsmommy

Oh Rosie im so sorry. I can't imagine your sorrow. Take your time coming back to the forum, and give Emily a hug for me.

Peg, don't beat youreself up over this. It really isn't your fault. Your a good enough breeder to even notice and care she hadn't eaten. Im sure some wouldn't.

Drew, Binky Free baby girl. I remmeber the first time I heard your name was Drew even if you were a girl, and I loved it! If your as mishevious as they say, I can tell you are going to have a blast meeting and pulling pranks on all the bunnies from RO on the Bridge.


----------



## TinysMom

To some folks this may sound crazy - that is fine. I shared it with Rosie last night and I'll share it here too.

I used to hold Drew a lot and she would sit on my shoulder and I'd tell her all about her mama and California and how much she would love it in California 'cause it was the land of craisins and raisins and all sorts of good hay and stuff. She'd sort of sit there on my shoulder and look at me or sit on the desk or whatever and almost look as if she was understanding me and thinking about all of it. 

I'd also tell her about Rosie and how happy I was she was going to Rosie as her mama and how I was just her "breeder mama" but Rosie was her heart mama. Even in my heart - as much as I loved Drew (and she has got to be one of my favorites) - I always thought of her as "Rosie's Drew" from the time she was young.

There have been times here when we've lost bunnies that I was especially close to - and it felt to me as if their presence was still here - just not in their bodies. With GingerSpice - it lasted several minutes and there were things that happened that made me believe that Miss Bea and Tiny sensed this.

With Drew - it was the opposite. I walked out into the kitchen shortly after she was gone (I was on the phone w/ Rosie in the office)...and she was GONE...definitely. It almost felt like she was anxious to leave this body behind and move on....and I honestly believe it was because she had a connection with Rosie through all of my stories about her and her family and how much Drew would love it in California. 

Some may say, "Peg...you're a Christian...how can you say that?" and all I can say is...I have no problem reconciling my faith with the idea that some souls are just so connected that they seek each other out....even over the miles.

Peg



*maherwoman wrote: *


> I just wanted to post something interesting...
> 
> The wind is CRAZY outside right now...I think it's my spunky little girl trying to comfort me...I just have this feeling that she's here with me..and that it's her in the wind letting me know she's home with me...


----------



## TinysMom

I just have to share - I got up this morning and it hit me like a ton of bricks...Drew is gone....it was so raw and fresh.

Here are some pics and videos of her...the most current ones are at the top...











































































































































































Peg


and here is a link to the letters Drew & Dusty & Bun Bun sent to their new mama getting to know her better (I would often read them out loud to Drew as she sat on my desk)..



http://www.rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=20859&forum_id=28


----------



## MsBinky

Gosh I can't believe it

When I saw the title I was in shock. Not Rosie's Drew. I talk a lot with Rosie and she was always telling me about them and mostly about Drew and how she was just that special bun. She told me that Peg loved her a lot and that she couldn't wait tohold her herself.

Gosh this absolutely made me cry. I'm so sorry for the two of you. I know how much Drew was loved by both of you.

Binky free sweetheart :rainbow:


----------



## Bo B Bunny

I've always maintained that animals that ocme into our lives are supposed to be in our lives. I do believe we have a connection somehow.

I'm so sorry Drew is gone.


----------



## LuvaBun

Oh, this is just so sad - I am so sorry, Rosie and Peg 

Peg, I believe the same as you do - I think souls have to find somewhere to go, and it sounds as if Drew is blowing up a storm in California!

Hugs to you all

Jan


----------



## maherwoman

Thanks so much to everyone...including those that have sent me little notes on Messenger. Know that I love you all, but I just can't talk right now. I would call, Ali, but I just don't have a voice right now...I couldn't even answer the phone when Peg called to let me know she was gone...I had to give Danny the phone because I just didn't have a voice to answer with, nor could I hear it myself. I already knew, and was already weeping for my baby as the words came out of her mouth. I threw up right after he hung up, it was just so horrible...

I would watch those videos...but I just can't right now. I looked at some pictures of her last night...it was just too much. Danny had to pry me away from the computer...I didn't want to leave all I had left of my baby girl.

I spent last night cuddling the little SweetPea-ish bunny stuffy that we got at an auction at the BunFest a few weekends ago...trying to fool myself into thinking she was my Drew baby...but then it would hit me that she just wasn't...and I would break down all over again. I've gotten about four and a half hours' sleep...and just can't convince myself to get back to sleep again, despite how tired I am.

Danny hugged me all night...hoping it would help...but she's just gone, and there's nothing that can really take that horrible circumstance away.

The wind...I know my baby rode the wind here. They say it's the Santa Ana's...but even Danny remarked that the wind wasn't warm like the Santa Ana's are supposed to be...even he knew it was my little baby bunny, riding the crazy wind here...causing mischief along the way, as only my Drew could.

I'm so tired that right now I just feel kinda numb. So much has happened lately, that this too was such a shock...and it was so sudden...I just don't understand why it had to happen. I don't understand what I'm supposed to learn from this...

Thoughts keep hitting me...one less cage we're going to build...one less pretty little mouth that we're going to have the joy of feeding...one less sweet face giving me that expectant look for the huge bundle of hay in my hand...one less girl dancing for the boys...I just don't know what to think...but I certainly know how I feel. I feel like Peg and I were robbed, and it just isn't fair, no matter how you look at it. Why do we have to miss our sweet little baby...she was only JUST over eight months old.

I took Drew's folder out last night to write down that she'd passed...and broke down because there isn't really anything in her folder yet...I didn't even get to write down a Gotcha Day...not a scrap of paper...and I just felt as empty as that folder.

Emily wrote two little notes that she said were from Drew, saying she's here, and she loves me...I'm going to put those in her folder, so she at least has SOMETHING there...my poor sweetheart...I can't bear the thought of her folder being completely bare...it's not fair to her.

I just don't understand...


----------



## myLoki

Hi Drew, 

I got to know you through all the stories and pictures that your Breeder Momma posted of you online. You were always so spunky and overflowing with personality. Your sister was always more conservative and chilled out than you were. When she came here, I knew she missed you so much. She was lonely and Loki was being mean. Slowly she became less scared and grew to like it here a lot (at least I like to think so). She still missed you so. A mom can always tell. I would tell her stories about you and let her watch the video of you and your brothers hopping around. When I went to hug her last night and tell her what happened, she was quietly laying on her shelf and didn't even struggle when I picked her up. She probably knew you were gone way before me but I told her anyway. I used her as my little handkerchief and she didn't like it much. I think she's at peace with your passing Drew. I really do. 

In my heart I know she wants me to say that she misses you as bad as always, but that she'll see you later. 



Lily's mommy


----------



## maherwoman

Aww...T, you're so sweet...My little baby lives on in your Lily...and I know that Drew visited all her sweet siblings...it's just something my baby would do...


----------



## naturestee

I'm so sorry Rosie. And Peg too. You may have "only" been her breeder mommy but I know you cared for her so much.

Binky free little Drew.
:sad:


----------



## TinysMom

How do you explain to someone the loss of a rabbit - when they're a total stranger?

I had to go do two mystery shops today in grocery stores - so I went to do them. I did ok till I got to the baby food aisle and was reaching for the Beechnut brand (Chiquita Bananas is awesome - the rabbits just LOVE it).

I lost it - right there in the store. Art was out in the car snoozing while I shopped - and I'm standing there almost shaking and crying while I try to grab some baby food.

Another woman saw me and asked if everything is ok....did I just lose a baby or something. That made the tears worse...

I told her I'd just losta rabbit and how I use banana baby food and canned pumpkin when they're sick. She asked me why I was buying more and I explained that I had more rabbits at home so I keep it on hand.

She handed me a tissue and stood there for a minute looking at me like she was worried about if I'd be ok.

I pulled myself together and thanked her and she gave me a hug and walked on....meanwhile, I stood there staring at the jars of baby food and thinking if I could bring Drew back and give her a jar every day...how many days those jars on the shelf would represent.

I am NOT handling this well - and I'm sorry to keep adding to this thread.but I feel like my heart is breaking over this. I went to bed last night and had shooting pains up and down my arm and my chest was hurting and I almost went to ER but I knew it was from the stress and all the crying I'd been doing.

T - I'm so glad you have Lily and she's ok. I've been looking at Dusty and Bun Bun today and talking to them a bit. I may pull them out and snuggled with them - they just look so sad today - as if they know.

I do know this - Tiny knows she's gone. Earlier I was in the office and he came bounding in (as only a Flemish can run) and he went and looked at her pen area and then came over and started nuzzling me and he didn't insist on any treats (for once) - he just wanted to nuzzle me and I swear he was trying to comfort me.

As I was falling asleep last night I had a dream (sort of). I almost pictured GingerSpice greeting Drew at the bridge and saying, "So tell me...did you pee on her? Did ya?"....

Peg

P.S. GingerSpice passed away when Drew was just a few weeks old - but I would often hold Drew and talk to her about GingerSpice and how she reminded me of Ginger with her spunk, etc. So I really believe she knew who GingerSpice was. Drew often seemed to understand things..


----------



## maherwoman

Oh Peg...

I wish we could just hug and cry with each other for hours...

Know that I'm just as here for you as you are for me, ok? Know that I'm crying right along with you...and it's so hard, too, because Em's crying too. I don't think any of us understands this...why it happened...it just seems so unjust...

It was so hard to feed the buns last night...they all knew something was wrong...they all came over. Even Trixie gave me a kiss on the nose (well, a nose bump)...and that's just something she doesn't do all that often. They all gave me a nose bump, and I gave them each two raisins to as a memorial to their littlest sister. I cried as I fed them, and gave them more love than I think they wanted.

It's so bright and sunshiney and beautiful outside right now...how can it be beautiful when I feel so horrible? It should be pouring rain and awful outside...how can the sun shine when I feel like a light's been put out in my heart? 

It's all so unfair...and I just don't understand it...


----------



## AngelnSnuffy

Rosie and Peg,

I am so very sorry for your loss of Drew. It is so unfair. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you both.:hug:

I'm so sorry Drew. Have fun with Ginger.:rainbow::rip:


----------



## Pipp

:sad:

prettiest little bunny ever... 



:rip: Drew

So sorry, mommies... 



sas :tears2:


----------



## pamnock

I'm so sorry Peg and Rosie. Drew was such a cutie. . .

Pam


----------



## slavetoabunny

:bigtears:I'm so sorry you never got to hold your little boy. RIP Drew.


----------



## Crystalballl

I am sooo sorry to hear about this! 

Binky Free, Drew

Crystal


----------



## maherwoman

Today is my "distract myself with other things" day, so you'll find me aroudn the forum, trying to distract myself. I just worry about letting myself feel all this...so completely...I'd been crying for at least 24hrs almost straight...I don't want Em to see me like this.

What do I do? How do I handle this? 

I feel so horribly lost and unsure about everything now...I just don't understand WHY...that's hte main thing on my mind today...WHY?!?!


----------



## TinysMom

We had a horrible windstorm last night - and it was raining for a bit. Its been COLD (for us) too. 

I woke up during the middle of the night and couldn't help thinking about your comments about the Santa Anna winds. For a while, I laid in bed and cried over Drew....how I wish she was still here...how unfair it was that you weren't able to see her and hold her. Robin pointed out that the wind came from the NW and it was almost as if she came back to visit us and chase all the bunnies around as they were out on the backyard (and then terrorize Robin's kitty by scaring her with big wind gusts).

I'm still feeling very numb right now. I can laugh about memories of Drew....but I want to cry all the time. I wonder if my world will ever be right again.

Art came into the office today and changed some things around - Robin had already moved Drew's pen so it was in a different position. Art moved Morgan closer to Mallory & Madilyn (and no fighting - I'm in shock). I think that having the office rearranged a bit is helping - now at least I don't walk in and expect to see her in her pen because of the way things are changed...and that helps.

Rosie- we'll get through this. I don't know how - but I've been down this road this year more times than I want to count....we'll make it.

Peg


----------



## maherwoman

Oh Peg...I'm so sad...

It's been a weird day...for a couple hours, I'll be doing rather good...then it'll hit just out of the blue, and I'll be crying all over again, and want to retreat to sleep. I've already napped once today, and I'm actually resisting doing it again.

It's odd, too, because nothing really happens to spurn me into grief and sadness again...it just _happens_, and all of a sudden, I'm feeling as though my heart is being shredded all over again.

I know it'll take time, and I know that I have an issue with expecting too much from myself...but at the same time, I have to do school...and yet don't have the ability to concentrate on anything. 

I find myself getting deeply lost in thought...I go into the bathroom and don't come back out again (it's really the only place I can be really alone), and Danny has to come in and distract me to bring me back out again. I just sit and think and think and think...all these thoughts haunting me...mostly the question of WHY??

That's the thing that keeps coming back...WHY?? I just don't understand the purpose for all this sadness, for feeling so horrible and lost...I just don't get what good this could possibly serve.

This isn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to come home to me, at least for a day...just so I could say hello to her...just ONCE!!

I keep trying to read on the forum, and post this or that, but then suddenly feel so lost and upset all over again. This forum has always been such an uplifting comforting place for me...but right now, its the one place that just doesn't make me feel better, but tends to make me feel worse...and it's terribly confusing.

I'll sit and talk to people in Messenger for a bit, and then, out-of-the-blue find that I want to just leave the conversation, without any explanation at all. I just don't understand it.

I find that talking to you right now, Peg...I feel not so alone. I've talked to Leanne (Spring), Sophie (MsBinky), Ali (JadeIcing), and others...and I love ya'll to bits...but I always feel less alone when I'm talking to you about it, Peg. Laura (MyBabyBunnies) and I have talked frequently over the past couple days, and are helping each other through our pain, too.

It's just so unfair...and is so difficult to understand...she was so special and wonderful...why did she have to leave, Peg?? It's not fair!

:sad:


----------



## cheryl

Oh Rosie,i really feel awful and very sad for you..i know that it's not fair!..and i know that you must be justso sodevestated to have not gotten to meet your little girl 

I'm really so sorry Rosie,and Peg

cheryl


----------



## maherwoman

Today is weird...just like yesterday, I awake to find I'm doing okay...

But like yesterday, I'm sure the overwhelming sadness will take over...and I'll find that once again, I cannot talk to people or hold a decent conversation...or post in anyone's threads.

So I thought I would watch youtube kitty videos, look at the Can Has Cheezburger site, etc. I'm trying to keep my thoughts positive during the time period they can actually BE positive.

We have our weekly D&D game on Wed night...I told Danny, "Yeah, sure, let's go ahead and play" not because I feel I'll be stable enough emotionally, but more because I'm sick of callous comments, and will be sufficiently lacking care in my words' effects that I'll say what they need to hear. 

Danny told our friend and biz partner, Ivan, about Drew's passing...what did he do? Mere minutes later showed Danny a video game he just got where someone uses a bun to beat up someone else...graphic, senseless, and VERY rude of him...because he was showing it as a funny thing. And Danny could only say, "Do you REALIZE how insensitive you're being right now?!"

Thankfully I wasn't there...I literally would've decked him...

I cried with Danny before falling asleep last night...we just talked for a while about the whole thing. He's been such a tremendous, perfect support through this...really shows me how perfect he is for me, and how perfect a decision it was to marry this wonderful man. He's had nothing but sensitivity, respect, concern, comfort, and love for me through this...and not ONCE has he made me feel like my grief was unfounded. 

When you called, Peg, and I handed the phone to him (because I knew, and just couldn't hear that she was gone), and he grabbed a tissue and wiped some of his own tears. I'm quite sure that he's grieving for her, too...all the missed opportunities to give her love. He's bonded a lot with SweetPea, you see...and she actually quite noticably prefers his hand for pets over mine..which is something that's a first around here. Not that he doesn't love the animals...he loves them VERY much...but SweetPea has hit him in a different way than the others have. I think through that, he's come to truly understand how I feel about them.

How are you doing today, Peg?


----------



## tundrakatiebean

*maherwoman wrote: *


> Danny told our friend and biz partner, Ivan, about Drew's passing...what did he do? Mere minutes later showed Danny a video game he just got where someone uses a bun to beat up someone else...graphic, senseless, and VERY rude of him...because he was showing it as a funny thing. And Danny could only say, "Do you REALIZE how insensitive you're being right now?!"
> 
> He's been such a tremendous, perfect support through this...really shows me how perfect he is for me, and how perfect a decision it was to marry this wonderful man. He's had nothing but sensitivity, respect, concern, comfort, and love for me through this...and not ONCE has he made me feel like my grief was unfounded.



You definately have a keeper there 

:hug:hugs to both of you and let me know if I can help either of you at all.


----------



## maherwoman

Thank you so much, Katie...I really truly appreciate it. 

You guys have all been such a wonderful support...just what I need during this...


----------



## maherwoman

The healing has definitely begun for me, though I expect that the pain I feel in losing my baby girl will never fully go away.

I still mourn for my heart kitty that I lost eleven years ago, KeyKat...I suspect losing Drew will be the same...

BUT...the healing has begun, starting last night, as you can read about here.


----------



## TinysMom

I went to bed last night and fell asleep and woke up about 30 minutes later in tears and I could barely catch my breath - thinking about Drew and missing her so badly. I guess I'd been dreaming about her. 

I was suprised to have it hit me so hard.

I think her death is harder for me than Ginger's was (in some ways) because I saw Ginger's health decline. Drew just "sneakses" away from us so fast...I didn't have time to prepare.

I am still angry at myself and hurting over the fact that she passed away in Robin's lap while I was in calling Rosie. I wanted to be with her...that is hard for me to let go of (but I am trying). 

Peg


----------



## maherwoman

I don't know if it helps, but I'm right there with you, Peg.

Last night, as you know, we had our D&D game...well, Danny came home stressed from work, and asked me to order a pizza, and I guess I gave too many options, so he kinda lost it...and then I REALLY lost it...and we argued a bit, and then I just broke down, realizing just how much of this I've kept inside. Danny told me point-blank after I blew up (because of pent up energy from keeping my grief contained too much) that he would rather me just let it out than keep it all contained and BLOW UP at any little pressure.

My poor friend Aaron, who's barely 21, was here, helping Danny clean for D&D (helping Danny with his jobs...not doing my own), and was kinda shocked at seeing me just blow up at the turn of a dime. He's never seen me like that, but he understood. Danny let everyone know before they got here (when I wasn't around, so I didn't realize they knew) about Drew's passing and that I was VERY VERY upset about it, but keeping myself level in general. Our DM (basically the head person of the game) bought me some Green Machine juice (my favorite) to try to cheer me up, and out of sympathy. He's not had buns before, but he's had pets, so he understood what I'm going through...

I didn't mention Drew all night, but did ask them to be patient and warn them I might be low on patience in general...and let them know had a really really horrible week. I didn't know that by that time, Danny had already let them know about it...and asked for them to just be gentle. 

So, last night was rough...and I would up crying myself to sleep a bit, hugging my "Drew" stuffy and thinking of my baby...

I see everyday getting just a tiny bit better...but time won't bring my baby back...and even though I do have my Harley boy, I do still miss Drew and cry about my sweetie being gone...


----------



## JadeIcing

I lit this for Drew. My baby neice I will not get to hold. 

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=4609680

If you search for group RO. I have a few lit.


----------



## maherwoman

I have already lit one for my Drew baby, both in the group and in a few other places...

I am now lighting a few more...

Thank you so much, Ali...ink iris:


----------



## lemonaxis

Sorry to read all this....urplepansy::rose:
very sad....


----------



## maherwoman

Thank you so much...

I miss her so much...


----------



## browneyedgal

I haven't been online much lately.

Sorry if I had been late sending condolences.

Binky free Drew. :rainbow:


----------



## BratBunny

R.I.P Drew. Binkey Freeink iris::bunnyangel:


----------



## TinysMom

I was looking back through this thread and realized that we really hadn't posted any pics of Drew here (thanks Amy for the one you posted).

Its still sort of hard to look at her pictures and to think she's not here. Last night I burst out crying about 8 pm and I realized it was because it was EXACTLY a week ago to that moment that I'd been on the phone w/ Rosie laughing about how Drew was getting better and spitting the food out one side of her mouth as I tried to get some in the other side. She'd take about half the syringe full and then spit out some and look at me and smile and then she'd take some more - and then spit some more out. It was almost like a game with her. 

I wish I'd gotten more pictures of her while she was here...but here are some of them...
















































































I was going to add videos - but I just can't bring myself to look at them right now - I'm sorry....

Peg


----------



## maherwoman

I hope my lack of posting pictures here doesn't give the impression that I've moved on, or no longer mourn my baby...it's quite the opposite.

I still haven't been able to venture into her folder to look at her pictures. I'm afraid of my own reaction, and don't think I can handle it.

I WILL have to find my favorite picture to put on her memorial...so I will be forced to look here soon...but until then, I just can't handle it.

I still burst out crying, too, Peg. I've had so much going on to sufficiently distract me from crying all day and night, and Harley has really helped me to start healing...but I'm still so, so sad...

I've had to tell various people (bun people) I know about what happened, because a few of the things I had been involved with got dropped...but it was so hard, and they wanted to talk about it, and I found myself having to cut the conversation short because I just can't handle it yet.

I was so sad on the way home from doing the transport yesterday, because a big part of me feels like I let four beautiful babies slip through my fingers...and felt like there were four more that would never enter my family...and I know a BIG part of that was from feeling the same about Drew. I cried on the way home from dropping them off...I was so sad...

But I am reminding myself to take one day at a time.

Things with us are going so well, that I don't want to miss out. We're getting tons of work, making loads of money, doing so so well...being able to pay things off that we've had to look the other way on for so long...

Yet, there's that undeniable underlying sadness I cannot escape...that continuing thought of, "All this...and without my baby girl...she'll never get to experience this life with us..." I know that when we move, I'll be sad for a few days for leaving the home I last had the dream of her coming to us in...and I know I'll cry when the boys come home, for want of having my baby girl there with them. Heck, I'm crying RIGHT NOW just thinking about it.

She touched so many areas of our lives, didn't she, Peg? It's amazing how a little girl that never made her way here can still manage to touch so many parts of my life, and be such a big part of everything. All the planning I'd been doing for bunny-safing our future home was mostly for her, for her craftiness and ingenuity in figuring out how to get here or there to get into trouble ))...and now I feel like all that thought was wasted...even though I know that I'll still have to do it because I know Harley has her same spirit (thank GOD...I so needed to still bring home a firecracker, lol).

Harley has literally saved me...I was falling into depression so fast...I'm glad you and I talked about it, and were able to figure out who to bring home to me. I don't know what would have happened to me if we hadn't done that...it worries me slightly to think of it...but thankfully it didn't happen.

So...all that to say...I miss my Drew so much still...I haven't even been able to post those pictures of the boys. It really saddens me that they'll have to live without their little sister...

Love to all,

Rosie


----------



## TinysMom

Knowing that Harley is going to you is helping me too. I frequently will go in there in the mornings and talk to him about California and how he's going out to be with the California girls. I know he will be so good for your family.

I also go in and hug Harriet in the garage and thank him for not calling out to you in the picture....because I would have sent him to you if he did. In fact, I told Art that yesterday and he was like, 'You sent her pictures of Harriet and you would have given him up???' and he was so surprised.

Now to get used to calling "Quinn" (aka "QBall") Harley...

Peg*

maherwoman wrote: *


> Harley has literally saved me...I was falling into depression so fast...I'm glad you and I talked about it, and were able to figure out who to bring home to me. I don't know what would have happened to me if we hadn't done that...it worries me slightly to think of it...but thankfully it didn't happen.


----------



## maherwoman

I'm so happy him coming home to us is helping you, too.

And how cute...getting used to him being Harley now. 

You are such an amazing friend, Peg...I am so blessed...
*
TinysMom wrote: *


> Knowing that Harley is going to you is helping me too. I frequently will go in there in the mornings and talk to him about California and how he's going out to be with the California girls. I know he will be so good for your family.
> 
> I also go in and hug Harriet in the garage and thank him for not calling out to you in the picture....because I would have sent him to you if he did. In fact, I told Art that yesterday and he was like, 'You sent her pictures of Harriet and you would have given him up???' and he was so surprised.
> 
> Now to get used to calling "Quinn" (aka "QBall") Harley...
> 
> Peg*
> 
> maherwoman wrote: *
> 
> 
> 
> Harley has literally saved me...I was falling into depression so fast...I'm glad you and I talked about it, and were able to figure out who to bring home to me. I don't know what would have happened to me if we hadn't done that...it worries me slightly to think of it...but thankfully it didn't happen.
Click to expand...


----------



## MyBabyBunnies

I've talked to you on MSN quite a bit since the passing of our babies but I haven't posted in this thread. Despite knowing the pain that these losses bring, the words of sympathy still manage to escape me. 

I am so glad to hear that you are bring another into your life and I'm sure he will be loved.

Binky free Drew.:cry4:


----------



## NZminilops

I'm not sure what to say, just wanted to say goodbye to Drew.

urplepansy:


----------



## maherwoman

Thank you so much, you two...

You are really special friends to me...

I hope you both are doing well...

Thank you for your love.


----------



## maherwoman

Sweet Baby Drew,

I'm so sorry Mama hasn't put anything in here for a few days...but, see, I was concentrating on helping your brother, Fiver, through his neuter. The 29th I was busy making sure everything was all put together for it, and then he got neutered on the 30th. Then yesterday, I spent the whole day watching him to be sure he was recovering okay.

He's in pain a bit, and looks stressed, and he's still walkin' funny...but it's only been a couple days, so I think he's okay. He's eating and drinking like a brave little boy...so I know he'll be okay.

As for you...I hope you're having tons of fun sneaksing around with Ginger and Puck. I know you three make a wonderful trio of mischievious friends! Give Buck a huge hug from me, ok...and tell him thank you for taking care of my itty bitty girl...

Someone commented on your pictures on MySpace yesterday...and it made me cry. I haven't had the heart to put "RIP" anywhere for you, except under my avatar here...I feel like it's just too final, and just can't do it yet. I haven't been able to look at your pictures, except in different places they happen to be...and break down in tears everytime I come across one. I keep you in my head and in my heart...it's just so hard for a Mama to say goodbye, Sweetie...

Everyday, I fight the inevitable...letting you go. I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd rather think you're just sleeping somewhere, or had to stay at the vet's, or that you're with your Breeder Mama. It's hard given that I never got to hold you...hard for me to realize you're really gone, when you were never really WITH ME. I hope that makes sense.

I miss you so much, Sweetie...I wish things had turned out different, but at the same time, I know you're happy that your older brother (well, in spirit), Harley, got a home with us. I know you're happy that he's got a loving family to come home to in a few weeks (not that Breeder Mama's family isn't wonderful, too).

It's not fair, Hunny...I missed you by a mere month...I wish you could've held on a bit longer, but I do understand your reasons. I know your little body just wasn't very strong...and I have a sneaky suspicion you wouldn't have made the flight home. I knew all along, in some form or another, that you wouldn't be coming home to me...not that it makes it any easier. I never fully acknowledged it, so I still wasn't prepared.

Oh, Sweetheart...my heart aches for my itty bitty girl...so much beauty and spunk in such a teeny tiny package...there will never be anybun quite like you, Sweetie.

I hope you make your way over every now and then to hang out with us. I still feel you home with us every now and then...it's really helping me through this.

I love you, Sweet Sneaksy Drew...and will always miss you. You will always have a special place in our hearts...

Love you always,

Your Mama


----------



## maherwoman

Was rootin' around online, came to the music site for James Taylor on MySpace, for some reason felt the need to click on "Something in the Way She Moves"...and the song made me break down. It is EXACTLY how I'm feeling about Drew...here are the lyrics. Go and find a version of the song online to listen to...it's truly special to her...

James Taylor's music has always had a deep impact on me...enjoy...

 Something In The Way She Moves Lyrics
 
 Something in the way she moves, or looks my way, or calls my name
that seems to leave this troubled world behind.
And if I'm feeling down and blue or troubled by some foolish game,
she always seems to make me change my mind..

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, 
She's around me now almost all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
and I find myself careening in places where I should not let me go.
She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me
of the happiness and the good times that I know, and then I just got to go then.

It isn't what she's got to say but how she thinks and where she's been.
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound.
I like to hear them best that way, it doesn't much matter what they mean.
She says them mostly just to calm me down

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, 
She's around me now almost about all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.


----------



## Munchkin

This broke my heart for you guys. Binky free Drew...x


----------



## TinysMom

Drew,

I miss you so badly right now. I've been so angry at you since last night...as you probably know.

Your mama and I talked together and cried together (and yes, we even laughed together about you at the end...I think you would have liked that).

Why didn't you give me warnings that you were so sick? We knew that off and on you would have a damp nose - but as I told your mama last night - you NEVER had discharge from your nose - it was always just damp...

And as far as food - I've seen rabbits into stasis worse than you...and pulled them out.....why not you?

I'm so confused and befuddled. Your mama and I talked about you and how some have said I should have taken you to a vet. Baby - if I had thought you were ill enough - I WOULD have taken you to a vet. 

But we learned you were sick late Thursday night (not eating enough) and on Friday you were chowing down on the baby food/pumpkin like there was no tomorrow. You were drinking from your water bottle - we thought we'd caught the stasis in time.

You had sneezed a few times - as had half the rabbits in the rabbitry. The weather was changing and you always seemed to have a damp nose when things changed.

But you didn't seem "sick". You seemed irritated with me and maybe a bit quieter than usual. But sick?

As mama and I were talking last night - I was reminded of how I was talking to her four hours before you passed...how I was trying to give you food and it would go in one side and then you'd started to spit it right back out the other side and then give me things innocent look of "What? I had enough already...". As I shared with your mama - when I went to check on you after returning home....my plans were to video your next feeding session so your mama could see what I was talking about.

But somehow - between the time Robin & I went out to McDonald's - and the time we returned (an hour at most) - you had failed to the point that...you were gone in minutes.

So many times I've thought back to that time. What if I'd packed you up that evening and driven into San Antonio to try and find an emergency vet? Would you have made it? What would I have told them? Uh..."I'm bringing in my rabbit because she's spitting food out the side of her mouth and has a damp nose?"

WHY didn't you give me more warning? Why did you do binkies and make me think you were ok? All week long - when I'd been in my office - you were running and playing and binkying behind me - to the point that I had to ask you twice to quiet down just a bit. Were you mad that I asked you to not be quite so loud as you ran around on the tarp?

I think losing you was even harder than losing GingerSpice...and I can't believe I'm saying that. But with GingerSpice - I knew she was going...and she gave me some warning.

You...just snuck away from us...it was so quick. As your mama and I talked about last night - I couldn't have made it across town to the vet IF I could have gotten them to open up (and they won't take rabbits during office hours - let alone on a late night).

It hurts baby - it hurts so bad. You were the only rabbit who would sit on my shoulder for long periods of time. You were often the first rabbit I would greet when I'd get up (even before Tiny and Miss Bea) and you were the rabbit I talked to the most. 

I still wake up crying about you during the middle of the night. I have nightmares of trying to run through a maze catching you...and you're always just a bit ahead of me...until finally you disappear and I'm lost in the maze without you. 

If I failed you baby - I'm so sorry. I had you on meds "just in case" for your damp nose - which was what I knew to do. There was never any discharge on your paws or your nose. I fed you baby food and pumpkin as soon as we realized you weren't eating. 

I just never thought you needed a vet. Looking back on it even now - with hindsight - I still don't see where the clues might have been.

I guess it hurts that I know people are talking about this behind my back...how I "should've done this" or they would have "done that". It hurts because not only do I deal with your loss and my feelings of grief...but now I deal with rumors and how much they hurt me and your mama.

I'll just shut up baby girl - but know this - you were dearly loved - and you were indeed a "favorite" bunny to many people. Had you shown any signs of discharge - you would have gone to the vet even though I was treating you....even if it meant the 150 mile one way trip to a vet....you were oh so worth it. 

I still dream about you and I'll always love you. I'm so comforted by the thought that someone sent me about how it might possibly have been congestive heart failure and maybe you just couldn't keep going but you hid it from us till the very last few minutes of your life. 

For whatever reason...you "sneakz" ahead of me to Rainbow Bridge...but even worse...you "sneakz" into my heart in such a way that you own a big big piece of it. Between you & Ginger & others I've lost - my heart and life has been enlarged...and then broken into pieces.

I love you baby girl. 

Breeder Mama


----------



## myLoki

Peg, 

I know you did exactly what you thought was right. I had no idea anyone was faulting you for Drew's death. Lily and I don't at all. We know you did your best. 


t.


----------



## TinysMom

T - that means a lot to me...it really does. (By the way, we're keeping an eye on Dusty and Bun Bun just in case it is genetic....so you might want to keep an eye on Lily too...but I'm sure she's probably fine).

Its amazing how things can get started - a whisper here - a whisper there...kinda like the old game of telephone....things just sort of snowball.

Drew's death really really devastated me. I didn't realize how hard it hit me till I started having nightmares about running through a maze continually looking for her. I have had the nightmares several times and I always wake up in tears.

I went back through my old notes about her - and I can't find at any time where she had discharge (as in snot). I know she had a dampness with her nose many times and we assumed it was due to weather changes or some of her habits (like loving to dig in the litter box and spread it around). When I talked to other breeders - they said that oftentimes their smaller ones like that would do the same type of thing...

...and then when she did sneeze this fall - I went ahead and put her on some meds just in case she was getting an infection. We figured it was better to be safe than sorry.

It just feels like such a 'no-win' situation....and it hurts so bad. 

As crazy as it sounds, it felt so good last night to be able to cry on the phone to Rosie about it. I think we both have tried so hard to be strong and we've both beat ourselves up looking back at the past and wondering what we did wrong or what we could've done differently. I know Rosie wishes they'd had the trio sent out earlier - we almost did that and I convinced Rosie to let them stay a bit longer because we'd had the change of weather and Drew was sneezing and I wanted her on the meds for a bit just to be safe. Now I wonder...what if that was when Drew was supposed to go to Rosie?

Its just hard - the sudden loss is bad enough...but now this.

BTW - Rosie doesn't blame me. She understands that my nearest vet that will even look at rabbits during office hours is 70 miles away and the nearest emergency vet is probably in San Antonio - 150 miles one way.

I shared with Rosie about the night we knew Alex was sick and we were going to lose him. I spent over four hours that night calling vets both at home and in their offices in a 70 mile range in any direction from us. Our van was broken down w/ electrical problems and we didn't even have any headlights - but I was willing to risk a ticket if I could get him to a vet. I called home numbers - office numbers - any numbers I had listed....for over four hours straight. I never got an answer at any of the numbers....at all. That was for a cat.

I think it is wonderful that people can go to emergency vets and have that available...I really do. It just something I don't have for 150+ miles. 

But had it been available for Drew - I would have gone. As it was - we got home from McDonald's and I checked on her while Robin started feeding the garage. I called Robin out and she concurred with me that we were losing Drew and I ran to the office to call Rosie...we talked for maybe 2 minutes or 3 at the most - and when I got back to the kitchen....Drew was gone. We'd been home MAYBE 15 minutes at the most and she had appeared her spunky self an hour earlier.

Anyway...I'm sorry for dumping. I'm just hurting so bad right now - Drew had truly become a heart bunny even though my head and heart knew she was going to Rosie's. She'd often sit on my shoulder and hear me talk about her new mommy and California....

Peg*

myLoki wrote: *


> Peg,
> 
> I know you did exactly what you thought was right. I had no idea anyone was faulting you for Drew's death. Lily and I don't at all. We know you did your best.
> 
> 
> t.


----------



## cheryl

Oh Peg..i understand completely...i wish my Daisy gave me some kind of a sign,it was only when she started to drag her foot that i knew something was wrong,and then it was just to late

:hug:

Cheryl


----------



## maherwoman

I just wanted to add a few things I've had on my mind.

Peg and I love Drew SO MUCH (and that'll NEVER become past tense for me)...that I feel that ANYONE saying ANYTHING about Peg's care of her is rediculous, and just plain idiotic. They weren't there...they didn't know...and like Peg said, I have NEVER blamed her. In fact, when I heard from a friend that someone was saying that, I couldn't help but reply with a, "What?!" It just doesn't make sense to form an opinion without finding out the facts.

Bottom line: Drew was not eating all her food on Thursday, so Peg gave her meds and watched her. By Friday night, she seemed absolutely FINE...NO indicators of ANY health problems...by all accounts, she had just been in a bit of a "funk" or something of the likes. Those two days, a vet was open...and as Peg has said, it would've been silly for her to have taken Drew in for not eating all her food. She spunked right back up and was being her normal self by Friday night...all was well.

Come Saturday...still the same...spunky, and good. Saturday night was when she took that turn for the worse...and the ONLY vet she could've taken her to was 150 miles away...and once Drew took that turn for the worse, she only lived about 15mins...and would've barely made it into the car and possibly down the driveway...not a whole lot further, and certainly not to the emergency vet's.

I have to admit, I'm angry. I'm angry that anyone has the NERVE to try to say Peg didn't do all she could, and didn't give Drew the care and attention she deserved through this. If _*I*_ don't blame Peg or feel anger toward Peg or see any fault in Peg's actions...NO ONE ELSE HAS ANY RIGHT TO. This little girl was my baby...and I give my babies every single ounce of love and care and attention they deserve...to me, the sky's the limit...I'll do ANYTHING...and I know Peg is the same, which is why I trust her with my bunnies' care at all. She's the ONLY person I think I could ever trust my buns' lives to...PERIOD.

And this is to anyone who feels differently than what I've stated, and to the person that started these rumors (and I know who you are):

If you have a problem, please just talk to me about it...it's only fair to the people involved. Don't keep things behind others' backs, ok? You know that I'm willing to communicate...you know me well enough that you should have come to me and been honest and voiced this to me...not to other people. Just take the time...please...

I'm sorry to those reading this...for being so passionate...but I've lost my baby girl, and I don't think this is a fair turn of events. Peg is the most caring, compassionate, loving, bun-savvy person I know...she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.

Hugs and love,

Rosie*


----------



## TinysMom

Cheryl,

My heart has been aching so hard for you about Daisy...it was almost like reliving when I knew I was going to lose my GingerSpice...I remember the last time I wrapped her in a towel for a nap (one of our favorite pasttimes) and how I cried and cried and cried because I knew it was the last time.

As hard as it was to live through - the one gift that both Daisy and GingerSpice gave us ... was the time to prepare ourselves for their passing and the feeling like we helped towards that decision - knowing it was time. Of course it was horrid leading up to it and then horrid afterwards questioning every move...

What was so hard for me with Drew was there was no real warning......she was fine one hour - we left for a bit - and came home to find her going quickly.

In the time it took me to run to the phone, call Rosie and tell her Drew had taken a turn for the worse and cry for a moment - Drew left. She wasn't in my arms...she was in Robin's arms. I didn't get to say goodbye...by the time I made it back to the kitchen...Robin was looking up at me with tears in her eyes and saying, "She's gone".

It was that fast and that sudden and it just hurts so badly. 

Anyway - back to Daisy - I kept coming on the forum to check on things for her and when I knew you were taking her to the vet (and why) - I broke down and cried...for her...for you...for the loss of a furry friend. It just seemed so unfair.

I really think if Drew was ill - she very deliberately hid it from me - and I wonder if she did it partly because of her love for me. I wouldn't be surprised if Daisy tried to hide her illness from you - because of her love for you.

I think sometimes that those we bond with so closely...don't want to see us hurt and so they hide things...not just because they're often preyed on and that is the way nature tells them to act..but because they know our intense love for them.

Peg*

cheryl13 wrote: *


> Oh Peg..i understand completely...i wish my Daisy gave me some kind of a sign,it was only when she started to drag her foot that i knew something was wrong,and then it was just to late
> 
> :hug:
> 
> Cheryl


----------



## cheryl

*TinysMom wrote: *


> As hard as it was to live through - the one gift that both Daisy and GingerSpice gave us ... was the time to prepare ourselves for their passing and the feeling like we helped towards that decision - knowing it was time. Of course it was horrid leading up to it and then horrid afterwards questioning every move...*
> *



Oh my gosh Peg,this was the most hardest thing to go through,it really was torture,especially when i knew that there was absolutely nothing i could do,i really know that i was sounding crazy in a lot of my posts..maybe you could say just very desperate..because i was,i knew Daisy was going to leave,and as much as i tried to prepare myself,i still broke down and cried and cried and cried..gosh i'm crying as i write this as the pain is still very raw and very painful.

GingerSpice was such a special little bunny,we all loved her 

Big hugs to you Peg,and just know that i do understand :hug:

Cheryl


----------



## maherwoman

Oh Drew, I feel like I lost you all over again tonight...

:bigtears:


----------



## maherwoman

Sweet girl...

I'm so sorry Mama hasn't written in a while...it's not that I've forgotten you. How could anyone forget you? You're simply too wonderful, too amazing to forget.

By now, I'm sure you know that your sweet brother has joined you there across the Rainbow Bridge. And I know you still visit me, so I know you've heard that your other brother, Dusty, will be staying with Peg.

Sweetie...I know now why you brought Teeny and Velveteen and Cuddles into our lives...it was to ease our sadness on not being able to bring you and your brothers home.

Everything that has happened over the past couple months is finally making sense now. I know you had a hand in how things happened...us not getting the house, so we wouldn't fly your brothers (and probably lose both of them before they got here). We found the Velveteen, Teeny, and Cuddles, and I didn't know why I felt the overwhelming urge to bring them home...but now I understand that it was you seeing we needed to have them here to catch our tears. And oh, Sweetie...you couldn't have chosen a better trio. 

We miss you so much...I don't think I can describe how much Mama still misses you...I think about you every single day, and cry for you still every time I think of you. 

I'm doing okay, though...don't worry. Mama's not dwelling in pain...but it's hard with now not being able to have a small bit of you in your brothers, here for me to hug and love on. It would've helped so much, but I would rather your brother, Dusty, to live as long as he can, than force him and his fragile little self onto a plane, and miss having him at all. At least this way, I can continue to dream about you three at night...and spend time with you that way...

I know you're still with me...why, just now I went to the James Taylor MySpace profile to listen to your song "Something in the Way She Moves", and it's the last song on the list, but when his profile opened, it was the one that started playing. And anyone that knows MySpace music profiles knows that it's always the first song that plays...but it scrolled right down and started THAT SONG. Thank you for showing me you're with me...I needed that.

This song's for you, Sweet Baby:
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqDV77r8244[/ame]

Mama misses you so badly...I wish I could have buried my face in your soft, silky fur like I do with all my babies (even the kitties). Oh, just one time would have been enough for me...just once.

I love you, Sweet Baby Girl...and will always miss you...


----------



## maherwoman

I haven't written in here in quite a while, but I wanted to add a song that I hear now and then that always reminds me of my Drew baby and her brothers, and always brings me to tears...

[ame]http://youtube.com/watch?v=wsk5MJeV5Qc[/ame]

It's Cat Steven's song, "How Can I Tell You?".


----------

