# Goodbye Black Jack



## NZminilops

I can't think or see properly through the tears right now, but goodbye sweet little Jack. I love you.


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## AngelnSnuffy

I am so sorry Michelle, I can't believe it.

RIP beautiful Jack :rainbow:


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## undergunfire

I am in shock. I thought he was improving .


Rest in peace and binky free, Jack :rainbow::rabbithop




Too many precious babies have been taken from us in the past weeks :cry4:.


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## TinysMom

Oh no - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I wish I had better words to say.

Peg


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## Spring

Ohgosh, Michelle..

I am so sorry.. I took a look at your blog and saw the note at the end and my heart sank, I could not believe it.. I didn't see his name on the rainbow bridge thread, and when I did I was absolutely devastated..

Jack is such a handsome little fella with an amazing spirit and an endlessly loving personality, his loss is just too terrible to express. I'm so shocked and stunned, how tragic.

Jack would always make me giggle with his little antics, he was such a doll. I can't even imagine what you are going through, and it hurts knowing I can't comfort you more than just in words.. Jack was an amazing bunny, and it's heart breaking.. I just can't grasp the terrible, terrible, reality of him being gone, it can't be happening. I know how much you love him, and I'm just devastated for you.

My love and thoughts are with you.

:tears2:


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## NZminilops

I hurt so bad. Everything feels wrong. I keep seeing black things...speakers, shoes, cables, and want to destroy them. How dare they be black when my special little black guy is gone?

I look at the other rabbits and feel numb. Why do they get to live when he doesn't?

I wonder, if I had just kissed him on his little head one last time, would that have stopped it from happening? if I had just...not eaten for a day...gone without something...would that have changed the balance in the world and Jack would be ok?

I feel such huge dispair it feels like it's eating me alive.

When I found him he was curled around his food bowl and must have been eating because he had been digging out his pellets to get to the single sultana I would hide at the bottom for him. It was a me and Jack thing.

Guys, he never got his sultana. That is the worst thing right now. All he wanted was his sultana.


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## lemonaxis

OMG!!! Michelle, are you going to be okay?
I am so so sorry for your loss!!

I live in Auckland too as you know, is there anything I can do for you?

He was so loved.
Please take care of yourself...
Lisa


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## ellissian

OMG!!!:shock: Michelle, I'm so sorry! I thought he was getting better!

I cannot believe your beautiful boy has gone.:bigtears:

I know how much he meant to you, I can't believe he has gone. 

Please take care and please feel free to PM me anytime. I know what you mean about seeing black things, everytime I saw my black cat Keyra I thought it was Milly. Or Ikept expecting him to come boundering up after her.

Binky free little Jack :rainbowlay with Milly at the bridge, 2 beautiful black loppy boys together.....life is so unfair.


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## girlzilla

my thoughts are with you during this time michelle. i can see how dearly you love your bun, and he knew it, i'm sure.

*big big hugs*


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## naturestee

Oh no! I'm so sorry Michelle. Binky free Jack. :rainbow:


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## Snuggys Mom

Oh, no, Michelle. I'm so very sorry about Jack. 

:bigtears:


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## Michaela

Oh my gosh Michelle, I can't believe this, I just saw the title and welled up...I feel numb. :cry2

Please don't blame yourself, it is not your fault at all. He had a good life with you even though it was cut short, he was loved so much, by you and many of us here.

Be strong Michelle :hug2:

Binky free Jack, you will be missed so so so much. :rainbow:


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## JimD

I'm so sorry 

...binky free little one.
ray::rainbow:

~Jim


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## JadeIcing

Oh god. I am so sorry. I am over her in tears, I want to hug you so bad.


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## Phinnsmommy

Michelle, I am so sorry.

I really dont know what else to say, im so upset.

Binky Free Jack x

:rainbow:


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## NZminilops

[align=center]*Jacks Story*
_The Velveteen Bunny_[/align] 

Some time late February this year, I was browsing the classified adverts on a lacal buy and sell website. Every single day since I can remember, I have checked out the classified ads for the bunnies without fail.

I came across an advert for a pair of bunnies needing to find new homes. They both had seperate cages and the owners were wanting to sell them for $100 each. One rabbit was white, the other was black. I didn't think too much of it, till about a week later there was a thread started on the message board of the buy/sell website. It was the owner of the bunnies lamenting that nobody was willing to give them a home. I piped up that I would love to offer one of the bunnies a home, but couldn't afford the $100 price tag at that point of time. They then told me to email them through the classified for "Velveteen"

"_Hi, it's me here from the message board  I would love to give a home to at least one of your fur babies! Velveteen in particular - I love dark coloured lops. I have two mini lops of my own, both desexed and bonded (male/female pair). I'd just have to sort out some housing. Email me ok? Michelle"_

The reply came the following day, on the 22[sup]nd[/sup] February.

âHi Michelle

_ I am so excited that Velveteen has found a good home. It definitely sounds like he will have a great new life, with some new friends too.
Its exciting, but sad too as we have been through a lot with this rabbit especially, so Iâm glad that he will be taken care of. I want to fill you in on what happened with him (we actually thought he was a she for a good 2 or 3 months!). We took him out of his hutch one day and noticed that he wasnât hopping, he was just dragging his back feet around. Immediately took him to the after hours vet. We were told that it was some sort of spinal injury, actual diagnosis is unable to be determined with out x-rays ($200 +). So the vet said to us, lets have hope and give him the benefit of the doubt that it is just a slipped disk. So we took him home, he was put into a smaller cage to restrict movement and was on anti-inflammatory for 2 weeks. Its been about a month or so since we put him back in the larger hutch and he is fine now. Some times he wobbles a bit, but generally he bounces around like a happy little bunny.
I must tell you that the photos of him are of when he was much younger, he is now a lot biggerâ¦ but still as cute!!
Ive attached a picture of what the Hutch is like (not actual hutch, ours, the base is Red and caging is yellow. Does have the house & water bottle â also have a litter tray and food bowl).
Would you like to meet him first or do you still even want him!! Lol, sorry I hope I havenât scared you off. We live in the City. I will be out most of Saturday as my best friend is going to live in Oz so will be at the airport with her. Please just let me know what you would like to do and Im happy to work in around you.
Thanks again.
Katie_â

We emailed that night back and forth a lot â I found out that Velveteen loved bok choy, hay, parsley, banana and strawberry.

We arranged for Katie to bring Velveteen over that following Sunday. I was really nervous â I felt like I was under inspection and that he was a special bunny and needed to approve of me first. I spent that weekend mowing lawns, cleaning windows, even cleaned the house with a hose and broom. I think I was chatting to someone from RO that morning on MSN about how nervous I was, if they remember it was them tell me so I can add you to the story.

Well Sunday came and Katie and her partner came over with Velveteen. I was elated! He was totally my kind of bunny. He was funny looking with long ears and a dopey expression. I took to him immediately. 

The name Velveteen didnât sit right with me â it didnât fit him at all and I knew he didnât like it, I could just tell. So I asked on here what people thought. Some of the name suggestions were a bit girly, and I liked Black Jack. Right away he seemed to know that was his name, and from then on he was Jack.

I got to know Jack well as time went on. His funny walk from his spinal injury never bothered him and he never let it get in the way of life and having fun. Jack was a very laid back bunny â even when people he had never met came to see him, he would flop out in front of them and not even bother to get up when they started petting him on the head.

Days came and went, and Luey and Annabell the bunnies joined our lives. Jack and Luey liked eachother, I wanted to get them both neutered and bond them. But that was not to be so. My partner and I had reached a critical point in our relationship, a lot of it was me not being able to let go of things and move on, and for him it was some issues with depression which were taking over him as a person and clouding his judgement. Things reached a terrible point and he wanted me gone â I guess I wanted to go too, but what about my babies? In desperation I went back to the very message board where Katie had talked about Jack and with the help of the people I knew from there, I had places for the bunnies to go. I really donât want to dredge all that up again right now, maybe one day in the future.

Jack went to stay with a girl called Lani, who took him lovingly into her heart and home, but always said I could have Jack back if I wanted. Finally the time came when I was able to have Jack again and Lani was driving up to Auckland anyway so she brought him back up with her. I was so excited! I had him back!
[line]


The rest of the story will follow at some other time, I have been awake almost all night and right now just want to fall into the bed and sleep sleep sleep. Thank you so much for all the support everyone, means the world to me.


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## Pet_Bunny

I am so sorry Michelle. :hug2:

Binky free Black Jack. :rainbow:

Rainbows ink iris:


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## somedaii

i've been very moved by your story of Jack.

he was an adorable bun, and i'm terribly sorry for your loss.:hug1
-sabrina


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## NZminilops

Memories of Jack :rose:



His first photo's I took.





























The picture I used of him when I had a one of those fancy flashing avatars.








Jack the runway model.





















































The time he did a binky onto Brewster and she didn't mind












When he came back from Lani's all suntanned








Jack and his funny run







Jack and Lucky early bonding session







A video I took for Leanne (Spring) 







Jacks final pictures, less than a week ago


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## JadeIcing

He was such a sweet boy. I hate so much that you have to go through this.


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## NZminilops

I can't get all the bad thoughts and images out of my head. I keep having the image of his body just lying there. And how when I picked him up he felt heavier in death than in life. But his fur was just as soft and his ears were still the same big old floppy ears and that felt so strange. Only thing that looked strange were his eyes wide open.

It hasn't even been 24 hours yet but it feels like forever.

These four bunnies I have now I think will be my last, that's how I feel right now.

The way I see it, I have four more rabbit deaths and two cat deaths to look forward to in the future and it's hard to see that there will be happy times before then.


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## ellissian

Michelle

I honestly felt the same way too, no more buns, no more nothing. I felt like I would never love again, like I didnt want my other pets......all I wanted was my Milly back and no one else. 

It really does take time, and everything you are feeling right now is perfectly normal. You will get your happy memories of Jack back and leave the bad ones hidden away, I'm so sorry your having to go through this, I really am.

I never thought I would start and recover but I am and have Hope and Harvey too. Jack was your heart bunny like Milly was mine, yes it's hard but I promise you....you will get there.


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## girlzilla

the grieving process is never an easy one. be kind to yourself, give yourself allowance to grieve and have some timeout so you can just focus onyourself and doing what makes you happy and relaxed. i have found this websitehas so many wonderful caring people and i am sure that there are many many members who will want to help support you through this time. you've always got us to talk to


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## lemonaxis

Its okay Michelle, only time will help you heal a bit now. My daughter recently lost her beautiful black cat, that cat was her best friend and then weeks later, her new kitten died. Last night she went to bed crying but it is getting a bit better.

Her cats got run over at her Dad's house and the whole family has found it nightmarish to cope with. My daughter is a serious serious animal lover and this may take her years to deal with but time is slowly spinning its tricks of recovery. 

Sleep as much as you can, cuddle your buns, think of their life now and the time you have now, not their deaths.

The grieving process cannot be avoided, just let it happen and you will one day soon feel better. 

Lots of hugs, kind thoughts and best wishes your way....


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## Bunnicula

Michelle,

Jack was a beautiful boy. Thank you for sharing his story and pics.

I am so sorry for your loss. There are just no words to make it better. So many of us are hurting with you. Please know we are all here for you.

Binky free, Jack! :bunnyangel:

-Mary Ellen


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## Bunnys_rule63

Omg, Michelle....I am in shock. I'm so so sorry. Jack was such a beautiful bunny, with a beautiful life with you.:cry2

I recently re-read this poem after a long time and it seems so appropriate now:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry, 
I am not there; I did not die.

Anon

Binkie free Jack.:rainbow: Thinking for you at this hard time Michelle.


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## girlzilla

that's such a beautiful poem


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## NZminilops

Thanks so so much you guys, I don't know what I would do without RO and all of you. 

I had a really strange dream last night about Jack, but it left me feeling very relaxed and peaceful. I dreamed I was Alice in Wonderland and instead of the white rabbit, Jack was there running around and yelling about being late. He kept running off and I kept chasing him saying "don't go!" and he would yell back "I'm late! They need me!" and I would keep chasing and chasing him. Eventually we came to an elevator that went way way up into the clouds and he hoped in and I ran and tried to get in too and got my foot in the door. He got really annoyed with me but I shoved my way in and we rode up in this elevator for what felt like hours and hours. Finally it stopped and he hopped out...all around were feilds and hills COVERED in bunnies.

On one hill a bunch of rabbits were having a tea party and they all waved and yelled out excitedly to Jack and called out that they were glad he was finally there. Jack turned to me and grinned and said "See? They need me!" laughed happily and ran off doing binkies with a huge grin on his face.

The dream faded and I woke up with a smile on my face .


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## lemonaxis

That is so cool, have been worried about you and I think this kind of dream means that you really needed to know that he is happy. And you found out, its very special!!
It was his time, and his life is not over.
Excuse me for being a sentimental sop but I cried lots and I hope you will feel better soon...


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## AngelnSnuffy

Wow, Michelle, that's awesome. I guess there's your closure and it's perfect:hug2:.


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## Bunnys_rule63

Michelle, there were tears in my eyes when reading about your dream.:tears2:I guess Jack wanted you to know that he was ok, and that you will be too.


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## ellissian

What an awesome dream!  :hugsquish:Wish I had a nice one of Milly. :?


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## maherwoman

My love and hugs to you, Michelle...this is such a horrible time. I'm so sorry to hear about your boy...what a handsome, sweet boy...

I hope you are doing okay...

Love and hugs,

Rosie*


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## NZminilops

Today is not a good day. Yesterday I felt like things were getting better already, and while I felt guilty to feel that spark of happiness again, it was a relief to stop crying.

Then in the late afternoon I snapped at a very good friend for no reason at all other than they were venting to me about their day and it went downhill from there.

Today I can't stop crying. I again got upset at a friend, this time a different one. She made a (valid) point about my young opposite sexed rabbits being kept in the same room and I just saw red. I was so mad! Didn't she realise I know what to do and what not to do? I burst into tears again and sobbed and sobbed till I couldn't breath. Then I realised too late that she was correct and she signed off the messenger before I could say so.

You guys know who you are and I'm so sorry for being like this .

I miss Jack so much. Way more than I could ever have imagined.


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## girlzilla

i know there is nothing anyone can say to help you feel any better, but take comfort in the knowledge that you have a big support group on RO to help you through this time and we will always be here for you to share what you're going through. i will have a chat with god and say a prayer for you, and for jack too. god'sa pretty nice fella, i'm sure he will spare some time to look after you 

make sure you snuggle your bun-buns and let them help you heal too, in their own special rabbit-y way (which usually consists of bunny kisses, binkys, and chewing stuff they aren't supposed to chew and generally making you laugh and smile!).

*big massive gigantic hugs*


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## AngelnSnuffy

I know this has to be hard, very hard. It's like you can't control your own self alot of times. Being depressed doesn't help. Maybe you could read throughPeg's thread of when she lost Gingerspice, she wrote out alot of feelings that she was having, maybe this will help you a little, maybe alot. You'll be able to relate to the feelings being expressed alot I bet. Maybe if you read a little each day, you'll see that almost everything you're going through is normal. Just give yourself some time and be nice to yourself. That's what you need right now. You'll get there, eventually.:hug::rose:


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## ellissian

Michelle

I'm sorry but you may find this happens a lot. One minute you think your ok, the next your in floods of tears. I was like that for a long time, I still feel like that everyday but don't cry half as much.

I used to feel guilty for laughing, smiling and even eating. But eventually day by day the guilt starts to fade and you begin to put your life back together.......and would our bridge babies want us to be sad......no of course they would'nt.

I know how your feeling, exactly what your going through. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make you feel better.

I'm sure the friends you think you've upset will understand, don't worry about it.


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## TinysMom

Oh man....I hope you can't relate to the feelings I expressed. I was so often in despair. I'd be ok one minute and in tears the next. I was angry at everyone else for being alive (even my husband) when I lost GingerSpice....like I'd rather lose them than her (in my more sane moments - I knew I didn't REALLY feel that way).

I'm doing better now - its taken me six months. I can mention her name without crying....most of the time. I can pet another rabbit and not feel like I'm being unfaithful to her. 

However, truth be told - I still have my days when I cry over missing her. I still have my times when I get angry at God for taking her from me. I yell at Him....and I sometimes go outside when Art's at work and yell where she's buried. I haven't done it lately....but I used to go outside and talk to her some.

I don't think I'll ever get fully over losing her. I've lost other rabbits and grieved and moved on....but when I lost her - it was like my soul shattered (please - I'm not talking in a religious sense here..so understand that). I'm still picking up the pieces that are left behind. Some are jagged and cut and hurt...while others are more rounded (by the passage of time) and I can handle them better. I'm putting the pieces back together again and hoping to move on a bit more every day.

You'll make it through this - I promise. Till then....we're all here for you.

Vent away...

Peg
*
AngelnSnuffy wrote:*


> Maybe you could read throughPeg's thread of when she lost Gingerspice, she wrote out alot of feelings that she was having, maybe this will help you a little, maybe alot. You'll be able to relate to the feelings being expressed alot I bet.


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## timetowaste

your dream made me smile so big  i looked over at nemo and just smiled at him.

i'm truly sorry for your loss. i can't imagine your pain. jack was flippin adorable, he almost looks like a stuffed animal in his very last picture. please don't cry anymore, because your other babies are probably missing jack's presence very much so too, and they can sense your grief and sadness.

let them help fill that void in your heart, but always remember no bunny will ever replace jack. but jack is in that field filled with friends and moving on. he wouldn't have liked you being so sad about his passing 

love.


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## lemonaxis

Hi Michelle

Its ALL OK to feel the way you do, a good friend will understand.
You are defensive as your defenses are down.

Breathe and concentrate on your emotions, don't try to bottle them or think that if one day is good, then the next will be better because grief is a journey of many turns and bumps, uphills and downhills.

The past two years of my personal life have been so tragic and devastating and griefstricken that I can easily relate to your sense of loss of control. You may not feel like yourself, but you are YOU, you are the YOU during grief.

I am only now starting to feel alive again after a good deal of loss. Under the waves of grief, is the beautiful, kind and loving you that is waiting to heal. 

You have Bailey, Sakura, Lucky and Bun Bun to think of now.

Many people try to dispose of grief as quickly as they can but I think its best to wrap it around you like a blanket, you will heal then from the inside out and not the other way around.
Cry, vent, laugh and love,

thinking of you...

Lisa


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## JadeIcing

*hugs*

We spoke about all this and you know you can say WHATEVER you feel like saying in no way will I EVER take it personally unless you say I am perfect.:biggrin2:

I told you what I wanted to say to people when Sam died. I didn't but feel free to say it.


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## NZminilops

The support on here has helped me so much, thank you to everyone who posted on this thread :rose: :hug:.

It's been one week now. One long, strange week. I feel like keeping my emotions to myself right now but I miss you little Jack, I hope you are ok where ever you may be.


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## ellissian

You know were we all are should you feel the need to talk. :hug:


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## JadeIcing




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## NZminilops

Thanks so much for that picture Ali, it's so cute .

Well Jack, it's been more than a month since you departed. A lot has changed since then, but my sorrow and love for you hasn't. I miss you heaps my little Jackie-man.

Sometimes when I see BunBun he looks like you for a second, and my heart skips a beat. You were brown like him, from the sun, in your final months.

I hope you know I love you, and miss you so much.

ink iris:


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## JadeIcing

Wyatt wanted to join the prayer.


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## Bunnys_rule63

I understand your pain Michelle.:hug:Hugs to you.


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