# RIP Lady: May 1997 - July 14, 2013.



## Yield (Jul 21, 2013)

Yes... my lovely Lady has gone over the rainbow bridge. My dad brought her home when she was a pup, when I was four years old. She looked a lot like a pitbull puppy back then (her mom was a pitbull/chow and I think her dad might've been an Australian Cattle Dog).













She was 16 years old when she passed- 10 days before my birthday. Here's a picture of Lady a few weeks before she passed on.



For a while, she was the only dog we'd ever had long-term, at least in my household. Then we got Kiba, and he grew up- like me, only knowing a life with Lady.







And this is a pic I took literally three days before Lady passed...



Anyone interested in the story of how we knew it was time? If not.. I'm sorry- but here it is.

I was sitting at the computer, messing around on some pet forum. I heard a thump- and at first I believed it to be Lady falling a little when she got up from her bed- which is not unusual for her, with her bad hips and legs. But then I hear shuffling- and that is unusual.

I get up, rushing to the front door, and that's where I see the old girl, having a seizure- I'd never seen one in person but I knew what it was immediately. I dropped to my knees, starting to sob, and put a hand on her neck, stroking her and urging her to be okay, trying to comfort her the best I could. She wasn't flopping around or anything like some would imagine- she was stuck on her side, shaking uncontrollably, jaws snapping, back legs kicking out, and foam pouring out of her mouth.

Really- it seemed like it would never end so I left her momentarily, running to grab the home phone and dial my mom. I put her on speaker so I can continue to comfort Lady, and when she answers, she's just finished at the Meijer checkout line and starts heading home. My dad calls after he talks to my mom and she's still seizing- I tell my dad, "I don't think she's going to come out of this."

Lady stops seizing, but is having issues still. laying on her side, but flopping and trying to lay on her stomach. She tries a few times and I hold her down so she can catch her breath and calm down a bit. Once she does, she lays with her back legs out to the side and her front paws flat on the ground- head resting in between them. Her eyes are blank- staring at nothing, and she is breathing heavy. I'm stroking her head, trying to comfort her the best I can.

Suddenly- she seems to come to- snapping up at me in fear and pain most likely- surprised by the arm stretched over her head. I jerk my hand away, fear overcoming me as I realize that this was why I was having reoccurring nightmares about an aggressive Lady all my life. Because when she'd get old and senile and in pain, she would become somewhat aggressive.

I am okay- understanding, until I get up and Lady snarls and snaps at the sight of me and tries to get up- like that of a fighting dog. Tears overwhelm me again and the fear is impossible to ignore as I ring my mom, in hysterics, telling her "This is why I had those dreams! Mom! Come home, I'm scared!" She calls her best friend, Vicky, and I talk to Theresa, the friend who went with her to Meijer (she's the pure romance woman who I was wary of at first). Theresa tells me that Vicky will be there soon and I say okay and I need to hang up because Lady has gotten up.

(Side Story: Growing up, and even only a month or so ago, I was having reoccurring nightmares of Lady becoming aggressive. There'd be more than one Lady chasing me, seeming to have aggressive intentions. Stuff like that. My most recent one- I went down the stairs and slipped on some of Lady's pee -she'd been peeing in the house- and I got mad and started to yell at her. She turned her head, dazed, but didn't respond. Then another Lady walked up- looking like herself except for a blank look in her eyes. I called my parents fast, asking them to come home because I was scared. Strangely accurate to the situation- right?)

I hang up the phone, watching Lady walk around. She's panting, drool and foam dripping from her mouth. I'm worried, but also fearful that she will react negatively towards me. She starts walking towards anything that moves first- Kiba, me, the cats. I am scared she will hurt them (despite Natasha rubbing up against her without a problem) in her confusion so I grab the cats, rushing them into my bathroom- locking them in there for the time being.

Vicky pulls up then- flying like the wind, and when she comes in the house, Lady makes a "huurr" noise that sounds like growling- but she always made noises like that so I doubt it was. Vicky is scared too though (I find myself feeling a little defensive of our old girl at that point, despite my own fear)- Lady has a blank-look in her eyes and continues to pace. She's walking circles around the house, running into the furniture and walls, and whenever she sees Vicky or myself, she approaches us. When we back away, she seems to accept that and walk in another direction.

She passes Kiba and makes a noise that could have been growling or another hurr noise and when Vicky tells my mom, she says to put Kiba away. I do so, and Lady continues to pace, refusing to stop for more than a few seconds and every time she does, she nearly falls over.

My mom finally gets home with Theresa and they bring the groceries in. Lady approaches my mom and lets her pet her and then we all decide she's okay to pet- so everyone pets her when she approaches them, telling her she's a good girl and she's okay. She seems a little more herself, but she's still walking in zigzags, almost falling over, running into things, and refusing to stop pacing. Her breath smells like vomit.

We finish unloading the groceries (they were mostly stuff that needed to be put in the fridge) and Theresa has to leave, and she gives everyone a hug. I had been seemingly keeping my cool, but then she hugs me and I start crying again. She tightens her grip and lets me cry on her shoulder for a minute, but I let go because she needed to get home. She wishes us luck and we really need it at that point.

Because we know it's time. We cannot risk her having to go through another seizure at night. She's not eating or drinking. We don't want her to suffer.

We let her outside so she can use the bathroom- and watching her do so makes everything seem like nothing bad happened. But it isn't long before the old girl starts walking towards the road. I walk her back and when I go inside, my mom and Vicky have to walk her back after she goes in the field. I have suspicions- like any 'dying animal'- that she was looking for somewhere to hide to die. Sounds awful, but makes sense.

Needless to say, we couldn't leave her unsupervised, but we did not want her in the house because we were going to leave to the vet soon. And I say soon because we could not get her in the car without her snapping at us because of the pain so we had to wait for my dad to leave work and come home.

So we lock her in the garage with a fan on her, where she finally lays down to take a nap.

My dad takes forever, but eventually he gets to the house, we get her in the car after a LOT of work (she would not walk up a ramp). My mom drives, my dad is in the passenger seat, I'm behind my mom, and Lady is in the way back because it is the flattest, safest spot for her.

We all are crying- yes, even my dad. I could see him wiping his eyes and sniffing. That was hard to see- he hardly ever cries- he didn't even want to go because he doesn't do well with these kinds of things.

Lady actually naps on the way to the vet, which is crazy because usually she pants, quivers, and freaks out when she rides in the car. She lays there calmly and whenever she lifts her head because of a pothole, I stroke her head until she relaxes again and rests.

When we reach the vet- the same emergency vet that we took Sabriel (my dutch rabbit) to when he broke his leg, my mom has to go in to ask them to help us get her out. They put a giant cone around Lady's head so she cannot bite anyone, and they lift her out gently. She refuses to walk with the cone on, so they take it off and we walk inside.

My dad waits outside for a moment to smoke a cigarette, while my mom and I watch them walk Lady back. This is a strange moment- as if Lady just knew- because she usually will not walk with anyone but my mom or dad. She didn't even look back at us, seeming dazed. Definitely not the typical Lady.

We wait while they insert a catheter and the IV, and then they take us into this small room, a rug on the floor, and three comfortable chairs. The lights are dim and there are at least two tissue boxes. My dad remains in the waiting room, unable to handle it.

A woman veterinarian brought Lady in, and turned on the light. She puts a blanket on the ground for her. I ask the woman if she'll cut some fur off of Lady for me, and show her that I brought a baggie. She does so for me and is very nice and calm about it- cutting fur from the back of Lady's neck wherever I point. She then leaves us alone with her. I sit down on the floor beside Lady and she is laying comfortably. We are to press a button when we are ready to put her down.

We take our time, petting Lady's head and neck, down her back, telling her what a good dog she is. She is kind of laying there calmly while we cry, and not really looking at us, but for a moment she looks at my face, and wags her tail. We baby talk her, show her our love the best way we can, and she proceeds to wag her tail some more and even lick us. As if reassuring us.

We don't want to prolong it too long, so we press the button eventually. The experience is explained to us a bit and we nod that we understand- Lady is laying directly on the blanket, as if she knows. I have this new veterinarian cut more fur off of Lady, wanting to make sure I have enough, and once I feel content with the amount, we decide to start the process.

The sedative is inserted to the IV, and we comfort Lady, petting her head a whole lot. She rests her head on the ground between her paws- just as she had when she had stopped seizing. We pull the leash off of her, stroking her and comforting her. The veterinarian inserts a bunch of other vials, and Lady hardly moves, but I observe, noticing how her breathing slows to a stop and her paws take on that limp-appearance. It all happens so quickly, that her eyes remain open and thankfully she does not defecate or anything- but that might be because she stopped eating well.

The veterinarian checks for a heartbeat, and finds none, telling us, "She's passed," in a very genuinely heartfelt tone. We nod, crying our hearts out, stroking her still. As most bodies that cease function- Lady releases some air from her mouth- as if she was alive again. I don't react- having expected it, but my mom flinches away, as if burned.

The vet turns Lady's upper body on her side, double checking for a heartbeat, and she receives none. We continue to stroke Lady, and the woman tells us to just press the button when we are ready to leave.

We remain with Lady until her ears are cold and her body is losing the heat as well. At this point- I am pretty sure I have a migraine- my head was hurting worse than ever before. Lady releases soft puffs of air two more times, before we go. We press the button twice, before leaving the room and letting the woman at the desk know so she can alert the staff.

We leave with a clay item with an indention of Lady's paw print in it (free! They were such nice people) as well as a baggie full of Lady's fur. We are still waiting for her ashes.


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## Yield (Jul 21, 2013)

The whole family is having a hard time dealing with is. I have cried every night since the even and have struggled to not cry numerous times during the day. I sleep with Lady's old collar nect to my bed. Kiba seems to be having trouble coming to terms with the loss as well. Him and Lady used to share the numerous dog beds instead of each sleeping in one. Like this:




And now Kiba lays with just enough room for Lady.



I just can't believe I'll never see this sweet face in person again...



She was such a good dog. Even good with cats in the beginning and end.











She taught Kiba so many things- how to be a good dog, and how to love cats. She was my sister... I miss her so much.

I made a necklace out of her fur. Here are some pictures.







I will get through this. But it is very hard.


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jul 21, 2013)

Oh my gosh. This made me so sad to read. You explained everything so detailed and I felt like it was all happening and that I was there with you. What a heart breaking read. You are a really good writer. I who hardly ever cries about things actually feel my eyes wet a little. I'm truly sorry for your loss of Lady I feel for you and hopefully time will ease the pain. I wish I could be with you now and help you get through it. I hope Kiba will get through it okay as well. This really made me sad but I don't know if you believe in this kind of thing but I do. I believe in the after life you will see your sweet Lady again. Its a consoling though for me whenever I lose a pet. RIP sweet Lady. Run free over the rainbow bridge.


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## Yield (Jul 21, 2013)

Ilovemyrabbit said:


> Oh my gosh. This made me so sad to read. You explained everything so detailed and I felt like it was all happening and that I was there with you. What a heart breaking read. You are a really good writer. I who hardly ever cries about things actually feel my eyes wet a little. I'm truly sorry for your loss of Lady I feel for you and hopefully time will ease the pain. I wish I could be with you now and help you get through it. I hope Kiba will get through it okay as well. This really made me sad but I don't know if you believe in this kind of thing but I do. I believe in the after life you will see your sweet Lady again. Its a consoling though for me whenever I lose a pet. RIP sweet Lady. Run free over the rainbow bridge.



I am very sorry for making you sad :C But yeah- I tend to get really... weird- like I tend to push things from my mind and mindlessly forget the details of bad or sad experiences I have.. but this experience stuck in my mind so strongly that I had no problem writing it at all (y'know, except for the crying). Thank you very much, for the compliment, as well as the condolences.

I sure hope I see Lady again. So, thank you very much again. I am not quite sure what I believe in, but no matter what, I hope to see her again. <3


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## Ilovemyrabbit (Jul 21, 2013)

Its okay, I don't mind. I'm glad I read the post. Just know that Lady is probably having a great time right now and I'm sure you'll see each other again. This reminds me. I remember reading a nice poem that might make you feel better.

Wake up Mum, wake up quick!
I have to stop your nightmares or you'll get sick.
I'm still here Mum I've not gone
Instead I'm just in spirit; I'm now an invisible dog.
Don't cry Mum
I can't bare to see you sad,
You were my best friend
The best a dog could have.

When you sleep in the night
I'm lying by your side
I listen to your heartbeat
And I nuzzle you with pride.
Sometimes I bring my doggy friends
Just to let them see
The one who was my Mum
The special one to me.

In the morning when you wake Mum
I miss your lovely smile,
You can still wave 
You see, I can still see you, although you can't see me?

I follow you around
I'm the shadow in the corner of your eye,
I'm still your little dog
Invisible 
And I will never die.

And another one.

A heart of gold stopped beating
Four little paws at rest
God broke my heart but this I know
He only takes the best

:hug:


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## Azerane (Jul 22, 2013)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to lose the friend that you've grown up with, it's a really tough blow. Hugs to you and Kiba.


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## Nancy McClelland (Jul 23, 2013)

We're so sorry for your loss.


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## rebeccalyn7 (Jul 25, 2013)

Literally crying for you, I lost my best friend too.
And no animal has ever replaced her. 
I am literally crying reading this, 
I'm so sorry for your loss


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## Yield (Jul 29, 2013)

Thank you very much for your condolences everyone.
I am so sorry for your loss as well, rebeccalyn7


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## Bunnylova4eva (Jul 30, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear about Lady. Try to remember you gave her the best last gift ever-alleviating her suffering and letting her know you were there with her. Though it's incredibly painful and hard to work through right now, try to remember all the good times and things you did with her; she was a very sweet girl and I know she'll be greatly missed. RIP sweet pup!


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## HolyHandGrenade (Aug 1, 2013)

Sorry again for your loss (I saw on IG before here because I rarely get on a computer lately). It's hard losing any furry companion, but there's a special kind of pain when they've been around for over half of your life so far. RIP Lady


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## majorv (Aug 21, 2013)

Oh my gosh....maybe I was meant to read this now because we had to have our dog of 16 years put down last night. I know exactly how you felt! I, however, had to leave the room when the vet came in with the drugs. My husband stayed with Casey until she passed...very peacefully. I am having a hard time getting through the day today without thinking about her and wiping away a tear. I know it gets better...but it's just so hard right now. :cry1:


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## Yield (Aug 21, 2013)

HolyHandGrenade said:


> Sorry again for your loss (I saw on IG before here because I rarely get on a computer lately). It's hard losing any furry companion, but there's a special kind of pain when they've been around for over half of your life so far. RIP Lady



Thank you very much, I completely understand- I don't get on RO as often as I should. It is very hard. I still miss her a lot, but it is getting better. She has visited me in my dreams twice now!



majorv said:


> Oh my gosh....maybe I was meant to read this now because we had to have our dog of 16 years put down last night. I know exactly how you felt! I, however, had to leave the room when the vet came in with the drugs. My husband stayed with Casey until she passed...very peacefully. I am having a hard time getting through the day today without thinking about her and wiping away a tear. I know it gets better...but it's just so hard right now. :cry1:



Oh gosh, I am so sorry : ( Even though 16 years old is a very long time for a dog (why can't dogs live at least as long as cats? :c), it doesn't feel like enough. I never does. RIP sweet Casey, watch over your mommy and daddy, okay? <3

It does get better but the tears will always come- I'm close to them right now, and only holding back because I'm in the open.

I hope she visits you in your dreams, Lady has done so for me- though it wasn't right away. Ironically, one was last night. 

I wish you well, and if you ever want to talk, or need to, you can always send me a PM on here- it should go to my email so I will know and get on to reply


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## Chrisdoc (Aug 21, 2013)

I really felt all your pain reading your experience. I know exactly how you felt as I lost my little girl a few years back now around the same age and I´d also had her from 4 weeks old. Just know that she lived a full life, full of love and joy and you were with her right to the end, I think that´s so important that they have the warmth and love with them right until the last moment. I, like Elise, think that one day, I´ll get to see my little Brandy and I think you´ll see Lady again. 

Sorry for loss as well majorv, it´s always so hard to say goodbye. 

The hurt and ache will pass but they´ll always be there in your heart.


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