# How do I deal with this?



## gentle giants (Dec 31, 2007)

I haven't been on here for close to a week, I think, just couldn't deal with talking to anyone. They say bad things happen in threes, well I'v had mine all in just over a week. 

First of all, I haven't said much about it on here, but my Sally had been very ill for a long time. I had had her to the vet several times, run different tests, tried different meds, nothing worked. Towards the last, I could see that she was in pain that the painkillers weren't stopping. I probably hung on to her longer than I should have, just out of selfishness. Finally, on Saturday December 22, I made the decision to end her pain. I knew we would be gone from the 23-25, and I didn't want her to be there suffering and mabye passing away on her own without me there. I am, of course, still dealing with the guilt and self-doubt that always goes along with a decision like that, plus going into the barn and seeing her empty hutch twice a day. I haven't even been able to clean out her cage and feed bowls yet, just couldn't bring myself to do it, especially with what else has happened.

On Christmas day while I was at my mil's house, my mother, who was caring for all my animals while we were gone, called me. She told me that my two parakeets were gone. The cat had evidently knocked the cage down, and I'm sure you know what happened after that. I hadn't had them very long at all, and they were to wild still for me to play with or anything, but I feel incredibly horrible for not thinking to shut them up in the den or something where the cats couldn't get them. 

Then, on Thursday the 27th, my beautiful little rat terrier Benzi disapeared. He went out with me to feed, as usual. When I went into the barn, he was chasing squirrels right outside the barn, which was something he did a dozen times a day. He really had some kind of vendetta against squirrels, he was always chasing them. That was the last time any of us ever saw him. It took a few hours for us to realize he was gone, because he went back and forth between my house and my parents, we live right next to each other. I assumed he was in the house with my dad, and my dad assumed he was in the house with me. He had never stayed outside for longer than 20 minutes before without one of us with him, so as soon as we found out he wasn't in either place we knew something was badly wrong. 

We have taken pics of him around to all our neighbors, and my dad, mom, my husband, and I have all taken turns going out through the woods looking for him and calling. Since he was such a small dog, and we have a very heavy population of coyotes here, we are pretty certain that he was taken by them. We have alerted the animal shelter, and he is micorchipped and all, just in case, but we really don't have much hope of seeing him again. 

So basically I have spent the last week crying and incredibly depressed. It's a helluva way to start the new year, and it really sucks that I can't even drink right now. I jsut needed to get this all off of my chest, thanks for bearing with me.


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## pla725 (Dec 31, 2007)

So much loss over a short time period is hard to bear for even the strongest person.Freak things happen. All your pets know that you loved them. Sometimes it helps to just get it all out.


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## Bo B Bunny (Dec 31, 2007)

Oh my goodness! I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what you've been through. I'm so very sorry about all of your losses. 

Sally was a beautiful girl and I just feel sick for you.

I have a soft spot for little rat and fox terriers as my mom has them. Sweet dogs and like little people in ways. 

I wish there was something I could do to help you through this horrible sorrow.

:hug:


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## pamnock (Dec 31, 2007)

I'm so sorry. It's tragic to go through just one of those losses - but to suffer so many at one time is unimaginable.

Pam :rose:


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## Bunnicula (Dec 31, 2007)

I wish that there were something that I could say or do to turn back time and change what has happened to you in the past week.

Please know that we are all here for you and that we share in your tears!

-Mary Ellen


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## Haley (Dec 31, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. No one deserves to suffer so much loss all at once. Its just heartbreaking.

Youre in my thoughts and prayers. We're here for you.

*hugs*

Haley


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## gentle giants (Dec 31, 2007)

Thanks very much, everyone. I wish if these things had to happen, that it had been at a different time of year, at least.


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## JimD (Dec 31, 2007)

:hug2:


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## TinysMom (Dec 31, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your losses. This year I've had a fairly large number of losses and it hurts like the dickens.

Some days you deal with it and you'll be ok - till something catches your eye or you think of a memory and start to tear up....

Other days you deal with it by putting one foot in front of the other and telling yourself that you CAN make it....somehow....even if it is just a minute by minute thing. 

And some days...you will find you can laugh at life again. Of course, those days feel like they're far too rare and in between the hard days.

But we're all here for you....to see you through this.

We'll help you make it through...together.

Peg


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## polly (Dec 31, 2007)

so sorry :hug:


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## gentle giants (Dec 31, 2007)

I keep coming across pics of them on the computer, and the kids have been asking about Benzi..... What do you tell a four year old about a lost pet? And I have to try so hard not to cry whenever oneof the kids asks. My daughter is very empathetic, she would be very upset if she saw me crying.


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## Ringer (Dec 31, 2007)

Poor babies, all. I loved the parakeets. Most beautiful. I have memories of mine now. Blueberry, Scooter, Fluffy and Woody. They lived quite a few years, fluffy the last at 13 years. I have fond memories but all too well remember the sadness and lonliness when they passed on.

I feel your sorrow and pain and only can say that time heals all. There will be new little ones to love another day. 

The Bunny was precious too, OH THOSE EARS! Looks as if she got along well with the cat. 

They all are happy now,sweet little dolls.

When two dogs got my son's rabbit Joker, I told him Jokes was now in heaven. When my son put the Christmas decorations uo he put a J on the roof in red and white lightsand said it was a candy cane but I always knew what it really was. An ode to Joker. He loved him so.


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## maherwoman (Jan 1, 2008)

Oh Myra...my heart hurts for you...I'm so sad to hear you're going through so much. Wish I was near...I'd ask you where you live and drive on over to give you a hug...for as long as ya needed one.

I think hugs are really one of the best therapies for loss...just the touching love of another human being can do so much...

At least I can send a virtual hug, though...:hug:...on the screen it looks so small compared to what I wish it were...

My heart is with you...

Rosie*

P.S. Feel free to write if you need someone to "dump" on or "vent" with. I'm here for you...


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## bat42072 (Jan 1, 2008)

I am sorry for all of your loss... I lost 3 dogs in one day so i know how you feel... you will just have to take it one day at a time... my thoughts and prayers are with you... I hope that you can find your puppy...


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## cheryl (Jan 1, 2008)

Oh no... i am so so sorry for all your losses 

Just know that you are in my thoughts

:hug:

Cheryl


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## LuvaBun (Jan 1, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear of all your losses - to have them happen so close to each other is just awful.

You did the right thing for Sally - it is never an easy decision, but sometimes it's the best one.

Your birds were beautiful. I love budgies - they have such great characters!

I will keep praying that Benzi turns up. Is it possible he got caught in a hole somewhere?

Thinking of you and your family

Jan


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## TreasuredFriend (Jan 1, 2008)

GG, I'm so sorry. You are in my thoughts. {{hug}}


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## naturestee (Jan 1, 2008)

I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

:hug:


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## gentle giants (Jan 2, 2008)

Thanks, guys. Luvabun, we had hopes for the first couple days that mabye we would be abel to find him, or that he would turn up at oneof the neighbor's houses. Now, though... If he isn't indoors with someone.... The temps have dropped drastically here the last couple of days, with snow and freezing rain too, and ratties have very short hair. And since it was mild the day he dissapeared, he didn't have his sweater on, either.


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## Leaf (Jan 2, 2008)

Oh no! I am so, so sorry about all of this!



I dont know how much of a help it'll be, but here's a lost/found group for IL:

http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/ILLostFoundPetReports/


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## gentle giants (Jan 2, 2008)

I posted his description, etc, jsut in case.


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## Wabbitdad12 (Jan 2, 2008)

I am sorry to learn of your losses. That is a lot to deal with all at one time, as it has been said already, I wish there were words to ease your pain.

Just to let you know, Lilly has settled in nicely and demands her attention everyday, which we are happy to give her. She is a super sweet and loving bun, thank you for letting us adopt her.


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## gentle giants (Jan 3, 2008)

I'm glad you have her, and she is in a good home. I am always glad to see the pics you post of her, too.


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom (Jan 3, 2008)

Dear GG....I just saw this post, and I'm so very sorry for your losses....how terrible to have to deal with so many in such a short time.....we'll keep you in our prayers, and keep hoping that Benzi will come home safe and sound.


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## pumpkinandwhiskersmom (Jan 3, 2008)

Dear GG....I just saw this post, and I'm so very sorry for your losses....how terrible to have to deal with so many in such a short time.....we'll keep you in our prayers, and keep hoping that Benzi will come home safe and sound.


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