# Summer



## Flashy

Well, what can I say about Summer. I guess really the best thing to do is tell you her story. It might give you some idea of why she was so special. It's really, really long though, but that's what she deserves. If you can't read it all then the video near the end is the real tribute 

In early August last year, I got a call from the RSPCA. They had to quarantine all their rabbits, but they had this rabbit that needed to come in and needed somewhere to go until they had quaratined all their rabbits (at the time they thought they had ringworm, and it turned out they never did). I told them that I had a space, but that it wasn't wonderful and would have to check with my dad as to whether or not it was inhabitable.

No one had lived there for about 6 months and it went to rack and ruin really quickly. After some careful assessing we decided it was possible to put her there. I called them back the next day, which was the Friday, and arranged that I would pick her up on the Sunday morning.

We spent the next two days working to get the accommodation good enough and clean enough.

On Sunday I poddled along to get this bunny. They told me she was called Jo and showed me her box. She was in a cardboard box (the ones with the handles that you get from pet shops), with some mint and carrot and boy was she massive! She was like a beach ball; very round and fat. 

I got her out and checked her over because I wanted to know exactly what I was taking on before I took her home. She had a horrid urine scald nearly up to her 'armpits' and horrid staining on her feet and around her tail. At the time we thought she had awful mites (hindsight tells us it was dermatitis) all around her tail. Her nails were incredibly long, and she had a lump on her right hip. I juts felt so sorry for this lump of a rabbit that she was in such a state.

I then spoke to the lady on reception at the RSPCA and found out more about her. 'Jo' had lived with an old lady. She had been an only pet, and the lady was only giving her up because she couldn't look after her anymore. She said that 'Jo' used to sit and watch EastEnders with this lady and was clearly very loved; over loved in fact. Her diet was mint, carrots and something else I can't remember; no grass, no pellets.

I said that she didn't look like a 'Jo', and could we change her name because none of the forms had yet been filled in, and so I suggested a few names, one of which was Summer, and that's what she became.

I took this lump home and put her into her new enclosure.

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For the first week I was very strict with quarantine and bundled myself up in binliners twice or three times a day to go and bathe her urine scald and 'mite scabs'. That week we went through at least 9 binliners a day, I've never known anything like it.

I had to find a way to gradually change her diet to get her to a healthier diet that she could eventually lose weight on, so I gradually introduced pellets and gradually cut down on the fresh and piled the hay in everywhere. Within two days her poos went from funny, mishapen things, to round, and then they increased nicely in size.

I had to take her to the vets early on because I couldn't sort the urine scald, so her first weekw ith me was quite hard for her, with bathing, and Baytril and other lovely things like that.

HOWEVER, within that first week she started to show herself. The first two days she was quite withdrawn, but after that she started to come out of her shell. Within a few days this little beach ball was bouncing round the run whenever someone came near because she realised she might get a dandelion leaf.

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It was this that quickly won the hearts of my parents and soon after she arrived I caught my dad sneaking up the garden to give her contraband dandelion leaves and whenever mum went out she would exclaim about how cute she was and give her a dandelion leaf. How one rabbit can be so bouncy and lively, despite so much pain on her body, I'm not sure, but she showed right here how much of a feisty lady she was.

We used to hide her fresh food (we switched away from carrots and onto limited basil and parsley with the mint) around the run, up high, down low, in things, and she gave so much energy and enthusiasm to find them. Food was showing itself to be Summer's love.

I was only supposed to have her until the RSPCA was out of quarantine, however, when that time came, I said that I'd be happy to keep her until after she was spayed.

I kept her in strict quarantine for 3 weeks, then the RSPCA booked her in for her spay. I hadn't managed to shift much of her weight at that time, and that was a concern for me, but not being my rabbit, it wasn't my choice.

She went in to be spayed on the 1st September and it all started well when the RSPCA's shambolic vets had her down as a cat. I also asked them to remove her lump.

When I went to collect her they said she had had a rough time and had been under for an additional 20 minutes longer than normal because they struggled with her weight. They said they had not removed her tumour (if only they had, things might have been so different). Little did I know at the time, that they checked her teeth, and had there been anything wrong with them, she would have been PTS there and then; no warning or contact to me.

I bought her home and she struggled, a great deal. The RSPCA don't give pain medication after speutering, but thankfully I had my own supply. She ate after a day and a bit, and only fresh grass. For that first week she lived inside, in the porch during the night, and in the living room during the day.

During the day we tried her in a run, but she jumped right out and came to sit with me. She was feeling wretched. We spent days sitting on the settee together. I would stroke her nose, and rub her nose whenever she wanted and when I did it right she got what we called her 'affectionate paw' and would put it on me. She started to lick me back. I think I gave her a great deal of comfort, and it was at this point that I couldn't stop myself from bonding with her. In addition to her spay, she then developed a UTI, presumably from all the aggravation of the spay. For a week we tried and tried to get food into her but all she would take was copious amounts of fresh grass and dandelion leaves.

She struggled and continued to struggle. She 'passed' her post spay check with the rubbish RSPCA vet, but I knew she wasn't right so took her to my vet and he agreed, and said she had a lump in her wound. We kept her on Metacam, and then put her on antibiotics too because we were unsure as to what it was, and Summer was too frail to have anything invasive done. At this point she started to lose weight and we couldn't stop it, no matter what we did. She went from being a beach ball to being pretty slender.

At this point I had taken on my next foster, who was intended to be Summer's boyfriend. He was in quarantine, which was a relief given that she was struggling so much.

After Roger's three week quarantine Summer was still ill, and still on pain medication and antibiotics, but she was holding her own weightwise and was looking less dragged down by it, so I put them together. 

It was love at first sight, and within a few minutes Roger was grooming all over her, and she was lapping it up; he could comfort her in a way that I couldn't. 

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They bonded super quick, and she continued to get better. She got her feisty back (we called her personality her 'feisty').

Around this time she started to show us her character. When she was living in the living room she had a barrier there, and all was well when I was in the living room. Whenever I left (either leaving her with other people, or on her own), and straight away she would hop her barrier and go on and explore. As soon as she heard me coming she would scamper back over the barrier and sit there like butter wouldn't melt.

We started to test what she would and wouldn't do, and she would jump only when she knew I wasn't there. One time I caught her just as she jumped and she shot back over as fast as her little legs would carry her. Another time she had jumped and was wandering around the rest of the living room, and I saw her through the hatch and said 'should you be there' and she jumped and legged it back over. Oh she knew the rules alright, but Summer did what Summer wanted.

She also used to seek out feet, slippers and socks to sleep next to. Too many evenings my parents sacrificed their slippers so she could stay snuggled where she was, when they had to move.

Oops. She had gotten us wrapped around her paws, all four of them, and her tail and ears too. We were smitten.

I told the RSPCA that I would be happy to keep Summer and Roger until they had found a new home. I told the RSPCA I thought it was better for the buns. Deep inside though, I couldn't bear to part with her, to see her at the centre, to not have her and her affectionate paw and her feisty. Basically, I'd gone head over heels and if she was with me, I had more control. I still intended to rehome her, but I just couldn't bear the thought of her being at the centre, or worse, going to a home I hadn't home visited and didn't know where she was.

Summer and Roger did famously, and Summer kept recovering. Roger was found with a wild warren and he became incredibly dependent on Summer. I knew at this point that he needed another friend because we believed Summer to be a pretty old lady. 

At the centre, they had a beautiful Sable Marten who had horrid head tilt. Unfortunately the centre were not treating it effectively (cue the rubbish vets again), and, thanks to Randy, I knew there was so much there for her that could be used to make her life better. I got my eye on her and took Summer and Roger down for a date. They didn't do wonderfully, but they did ok, so she came home with me that day. Her RSPCA name was Floppy Mary, but I couldn't be doing with that and moaned to Polly and Polly suggested Tilly, so that's what she became.

I put them in a run in my living room, and Summer was making it very clear that she was boss and wouldn't let Tilly out the litter tray, so I removed the litter tray and after a bit of chasing, within a day or so, they were all loved up. They were a real motley crew, the 'Specials' as I called them, and they would have to go to a very perfect home. 

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Soon after Tilly started on Convenia and I said to the RSPCA I would like to keep them through her treatment. Yes, that was true, I did, and Roger wasn't ready to be rehomed yet, but equally, it gave me more time with my SummerReally.

They bonded really well and came inside to play often, normally this play involved around Summer's biggest love, which was still food. We played with treat balls, carrots, hiding food, all sorts, and they all had a great time. 

On morning in late October I went out to the Fosters. I gave them their breakfast and started to clean them out. Summer jumped into the hutch, and stopped, as if she had been smacked in the face. I watched, and suddenly she gave this horrible cough and a load of fluid and mushed pellet came flying out. She coughed again and the same thing happened, and then she kept coughing up clear fluid. Summer was choking, but had thankfully shifted the blockage. It's a testament right here to how much she was in my heart because I'm phobic of vomit and whilst she obviously couldn't do that, this was the closest thing that a rabbit could do, yet I stayed with her, not freaking out about it.

I called for mum and within a few minutes I had called the vet and my mum had organised Summer and we were making a dash across town to the vets. By the time we got there she was struggling to breathe and they took her right in. A while later they called us in to explain what was going on and how she was. They said that she had cleared the blockage and that now she was being given oxygen she was doing better. She was going to be given antibiotics and diuretics and carry on with the oxygen and they wanted to watch her all day.

Thankfully, my girl came home that night, but boy did she look different. The diuretics had made her VERY slimline, but obviously she lost that over the next few days and went back to her normal, stable weight.

We'd had yet the FOURTH lucky escape (first being the spay complications, second being the potential dental issue, third being had they registered they had a tumour when she was spayed, then they would have put her to sleep there and then).

At this point, I started to think Summer had come here to die, or else to live before dying; there's no way that somebun could have had so many lucky escapes without a reason for them.

We poddled on very nicely for a few months and they were moved so they were right outside our backdoor (which is sliding) and during the winter we don't use it, so they were right outside. Summer would sit and wait for food, attention, a voice, anything at all.

Then, in January she started to lose weight again, no matter what I did, so I booked her in for x-rays, a blood panel and also to have her tumour removed. Her bloods came back as showing a degreee of liver failure but that everything else was ok. Her x-rays showed her as being ok. Her tumour, however, was close to ulcerating and, when they cut it up, they found it looked like a Melanoma. I opted not to have it biopsied because that wouldn't have changed anything, just added some extra cost. That day I spent Â£270 on a rabbit who wasn't even mine. Yet.

That afternoon I called the RSPCA and explained what I had done and why and told about the tumour and the lady at the RSPCA offered her to me. They said if they kept her on the records they would have to PTS her. So, from that day, the day we knew for pretty much certain, that she had cancer, she became mine. Summery was never going to leave here. She had indeed come here to die.

We moved them inside for the next while, until the weather got more mild. They lived in our spare room, and had a MARVELLOUS time. I used to bring Summer down for extra feeds to try and keep the weight on, and for the most part, we managed to do that.

Sometime in this time Tilly let Summer in. Tilly was seized by the RSPCA and had been through an awful time, and because of that she was very independent (well, as much as she could). Her and Summer became completely inseparable; where one was, the other was, and it was so cute to see.

She also had, what we called 'Interested Ears'. It was the lop equivalent of ears pointing forwards in interest, but all she did was cover her eyes with her ears. We knew, however, that these ears meant she was planning something and chaos generally ensued after these ears appeared, be it jumpin the barrier, stealing something off your plate, jumping up to see you, going somewhere she knew she shouldn't or something else completelt random.

Come April I noticed her breathing was heavier than normal and so off we trundled back to the vets again. I knew what he was going to say and I was right. Her Cancer seemed to have spread to her lungs and it was only a matter of time.

After that appointment I put her in the car and off we went, for home. The song that was playing was Pink's new one at the time and was called 'Please Don't Leave Me', and it was so real, so just very real. I didn't want her to leave me and cried my eyes out all the way home. Then got a grip, and yet started again when trying to tell my mum that soon SummeryUmmery would not be with us.

So we started the best regime we could of keeping her happy, keeping her stimulated, keeping her full of food and making the time left the best we could. We introduced her to the harness, which she LOVED, and gave her loads of food treats (the most important thing in her eyes), as much run time on the grass as we could in this rubbish UK weather.

She did 6 weeks really well, but then developed dermatitis, so back on antibiotics and bathing, she went.

In this time she started to lose more weight, and her breathing started to ripple most of her body, but she was still active, still eating, still very happy, so we carried on.

On Friday 19th June I got them out and put them in the run. I exclaimed to my mum about how ridiculously skinny she was compared to the day before. In the run she tucked into the food, but we less active than normal.

That night she holed herself up in mounds of hay. She didn't come for food, but would take it when you gave it directly to her. She seemed to know she was fading.

I went out at 1.15am on the Saturday morning and she was up and about and came running for food. At 4.15am she was lying again, and turned her head away from me. In the morning she dind't come for food, and I couldn't see her for all the hay around her. She knew, and I knew, and I made the call.

Just before I took her, I bought them all in, and it gave her that last rally. She had a run around, ate her favourite (mint) and had a lot of love.

I carried her all the way to the vets, stroking her all the way. I held her in the waiting room. In the room itself, she stayed mainly in my arms and then sat on a towel with her head and front paws on me.

I saw a vet I've never seen before, but I think he checked with my vet (his brother) that what I said was ok because he never checked her over, he heard what I said and allowed me to be with her and hold her (despite obvious reservations and that was was clearly used to doing this not in front of people). Summer also had a vet nurse stroking her back end, as well as me stroking her front end. She passed away peacefully at around 11.55am on Saturday 20th June 2009.

I wrapped her in a jacket of mine, and gave her a Cheer Bear Care Bear, and that was what she would be buried with.

When we got home I had to do the absolute hardest part of all of this, and that was to show Tilly and Roger that their best friend had gone. I put her in, and left them to it. After 45 mins I went back and they had covered her face with the jacket. It looked like they knew. Roger was sitting with her, but he knew, that was much was clear. So out she came.

She was then buried with a lovely rose on top. It will bloom large, bright yellow flowers, which completely fits with everything that we knew about Summer.

As usual, I have made the customary tribute video. I'm a bit gutted though, because youtube have removed the sound, and it's rubbish without it. The song is 'Young At Heart' by The BlueBells, and the silent video is here. (Update: We've now got sound! Click the red circle, and then when it changes to green, click it again to watch)

I give you 'Summer's Final Shindig' . 
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Summer taught me a lot while she was here and she shared her huge heart with so many. 

Summer gave everything she had to whatever she was doing at that moment. She was the perfect example of 'Mindfulness'. 'Mindfulness' was, at the time, a key part of a particular type of therapy I was having, and I was able to learn from Summer. It means basically living always in the present, and she certainly did that. If she was eating, nothing else mattered other than that food (apart from possible Tilly who might be stealing the food), if she was running, she would be running as fast as she could, if she was getting love she would melt into it for as long as she could. 

Essentially, she loved life.

She gave a gift to Roger and Tilly too, because they are completely different rabbits now, from those that came.

She also gave a lot to my nan. My nan is pretty depressed but Summer always cheered her up, and Summer always seemed to seek her out, probably because all she had known previously was an old lady.

I don't know why Summer chose the Friday to show she wasn't ok. Maybe she knew what was going on for me. I had that day ear marked for something less than positive, but because I had to focus on her, those plans went out the window.

Summer had such a huge personality she has left a whopping great big hole here. I think out of the other 16 I only have one who might leave a hole even half as big for everyone in the house (that being Badger); the others would leave a hole for me, but not for everyone.

Tilly and Roger are doing ok. They too give me a great example of being Mindful because they are living in the present and are doing ok with each other. Soon (maybe even today) I will start to bond them with somebunny else. They need to be at least a trio, and there must be somebun here who will bond with them. They will be fine, after all, they are staying here now, forever (Summer sorted that one out too).

On Friday night, when I knew I was losing her I cried like I haven't cried for a long time. My heart felt like it was actually breaking in two, it hurt so much, and I'm grateful that Sky let me cry all over him. On Saturday I was a bit weepy before we took her, but since losing her I have completely turned off. I know that the reason why is because it hurts, it makes me feel physically sick to think about her, it makes me feel like I'm going to suffocate with grief, so I've shut off, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her. It means I can't cope with being without her. It also means I'm trying not to be selfish.

Summer came here in a mess, and she left happy, surrounded by love, and when it was time for her. It's not sad for Summer, it was sad for Tilly and Roger, but now it is only sad for us, her human family.

Summer is free, and her memory can't ever go anywhere because it is so imprinted inside here. She's had the 'Flash affect' of trouncing all over our lives and changing so much, yet only being here for a relatively short amount of time.

She was a legend.

Binky Free My Girl

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## BlueGiants

Oh my....  I am so sorry to hear of Summer's passing. Binky free at the bridge dear... you were much loved. ink iris:

Flashy, you did wonders with her. Hugs to you for having a heart so big! :hug: You have my utmost admiration for your kindness and generosity.

I hope Roger and Tilly accept a new bun for bonding. Let us know how that goes! They are brave little buns!


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## Flashy

Well, quite simply, they didn't, lol. Maybe it's too soon, maybe just a bad match, but Tilly and Candyfloss had a pretty hefty scrap. Both are fine, but that's definitely out of character for Tilly, so I'll presume it's too soon and leave it for a while. If it doesn't work with them, it doesn't work. I have other options. Sort of.


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## BlueGiants

Have patience. They've been through a terrible change in their living status... It may take time. Give them lots of love and wait and see... 

It's a tribute to Summer that they won't just accept any one else...


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## Flashy

Yeh  I just worry about them, that's all. To be honest, if Summer were here she would probably be bullying them into accepting someone else  But yes, you're right, she has left a big hole in their life too.

I just know that some buns need another sooner than others, hence me trying today. I have all of the rest of the summer to try and find a good match (some of my options involve inside rabbits coming outside, so that will have to be done in good weather, for obvious reasons).

I just want them to be ok, that's all. If they are ok as the pair, then that's good enough for me for now.


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## anneq

I'm so sorry for Summer passing - but you definitely had a special bunny there - I'm trying not to just break down and cry - I know she's in a much better place.


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## Flashy

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=FXQ61WZU

I found a place 


Unfortunately you have to open the advert first, I think I did it twice, but the video is there, music and all 


ETA, could a mod please copy that up there and put it under the youtube link? Thanks


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## MPHF

what a beautiful tribute to Summer.ray:
i'm sure Tilly and Roger will accept somebun else in time.
on another note, didnt realise Tilly was Floppy Mary.
when we went to the centre to sign for our Floppy they got Floppy Mary's notes out. when they asked us about the head tilt we knew it was the wrong Floppy.


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## Flashy

*MPHF wrote: *


> on another note, didnt realise Tilly was Floppy Mary.
> when we went to the centre to sign for our Floppy they got Floppy Mary's notes out. when they asked us about the head tilt we knew it was the wrong Floppy.


Isn't it funny how the world works sometimes. Our buns are all pretty closely joined in some ways.


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## MPHF

very much so.


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## JimD

ray::rainbow:


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## Flashy

Please don't feel you have to keep trying Autumn. I'm happy with the link in the main post. Yes, it would be lovely like that, but please don't put yourself out.


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## Flashy

How smart are you! Thanks!


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## BlueGiants

Oh! Where didthe linkgo? I only got to watch it once! It is truely a fitting tribute to such a lovely girl... :?


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## Flashy

Its in the main tribute, where the youtube one was originally. She's a smart girl that Autumn


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## myheart

Goodness... I am sitting here with tears streaming....

Such a special little girl Summer was. Isn't it amazing how one being is able to attract others who need them into their worlds? Events happen for a reason....

I am so glad you and your family were able to experience a wonderful trio-bond. But the worst part is losing one of the bond. I do hope that Rodger and Tilly are able to accept another bun in time, unless they decide to remain a happily-wedded couple.

Such a wonderful tribute to Summer. I loved her story. It will always be on my mind as a wonderful rescue story, a love story, and a happy/sad endingstory always to be continued.You are right in that we have so much to learn from our rabbits and other critters we take guardianship over. So glad you were able to pick up on Summer's lessons that were meant just for you. 

Binky Free little Summer. :rainbow::bunnyangel::rainbow:

Healing prayers for you, your family, Rodger, and Tilly. ray:

myheart


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## NorthernAutumn

I love Summer's story; she was an exuberent gal, full of life and love for food in all of its forms 
Your video tribute was absolutely perfect, Tracy... I feel as if a bit of Summer's sunny nature reached through the screen and brightened my day!

You are a stalwart, compassionate caregiver, Tracy. I only wish that every struggling bun would be able to experience your love and support:hug:. Summer has been one of the happiest buns in the world since she came to you! 

urplepansy::rainbow:ink iris::rainbow:urplepansy:
Rest Softly, Lovely Summer

Autumn


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## BlueGiants

Thank you Autumn!


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## Luvmyzoocrew

i am so sorry, she was a very lucky bunny to have lived with you , and you were a very lucky bunny owner to have gotten to spend your time wiht her. 

Binky free


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## Maureen Las

You really gave her a wonderful life, Tracy; she looks so happy in the video. 
I am sure that you both gave each other a lot ;


She could not have had a finer home or a better owner. 

Binky Free Summer 
"Hugs"

Maureen


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## Platypusstar

im not gonna lie...i actually almost started crying when i read her whole story. T__T she sounded like an amazing bunny, i would have loved to meet her, you shouldnt shut off, you should be proud of what you did, that bunny lived life, you should remember all the good times, and not the bad. think of how much love that rabbit felt and how happy you made her. shes still there watching over you


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## Nancy McClelland

we're so sorry to hear of Summer's passing. You gave her remarkable care and love. What else can one do for our fur babies. It was very hard to read and watch the tribute without turning teary-eyed. Today is the one year anniversary of our Commander Bun-Bun's passing, so it doesn't take much to tip over the edge. Like your Summer, she was so full of life and joy. She was literally a fur covered rocket, shooting down the hall and making banked turns on the wall and furniture. She also liked laying at your feet or helping with the newspaper--by chewing it while I tried to read. Thank you for taking her in and giving her a family that had nothing but love and affection for the special little girl she was. :missyou:sad::sad::bunnyangel2:


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## Flashy

Thank you everyone. Your words are really special because it's nice to know that I've shared how special she was, in some small way, and you've heard/seen that.


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## polly

Binky free Summer


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## LuvaBun

Awesome tribute, Tracy. It was lovely to read all of Summer's story, and it's amazing how many lives (both human and bunny) that she changed. One very special girl, who, I'm sure, is racing through dandelions at The Bridge.

I love the video, especially Summer and Tilly playing with the ball , and the binky at the end.

God Bless, little girl, you were loved by so many.

Jan


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## Flashy

Hello My Good Girl,

Just wanted to drop you a line.

I'm thinking about when we let you go. On Neighbours Toad had to let Bob go and it was so sad. Reminded me of letting you go. I just miss you Girlie. Like loads.

I thought you might like to know that I saw Dodgey Rodgey do a binky today. I'd put him in the run with Tilly and he just started to run. They are doing ok, although they are probably a bit miffed they are not getting as much fresh and treats as they did when you were here.

Dusk had his dental on Tuesday and that night I went to Tesco to get him some parsley. I thought 'Oh, I can get some for Summer', but I couldn't. You have a lovely rose on your grave and that's beautiful. I wish we had other bunnies here who liked mint though, because then I could put a tub of mint there too, and the others could share in what you loved.

Please don't be fooled into thinking I don't miss you because I do. I just know that that is selfish. You were fading and you were ready to go. This isn't sad for you. This is sad for us. All of us.

I do miss you, my UmmerySummer, and I truly hope wherever you are now, your body is healed and you can enjoy all the food in the world.

Check in on us sometime?


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## Luvr of Wabbits and Polar Bears

Tracy i'm sorry for your loss of Summer. Her tribute was really nice. I was crying through her story as I know what your going through.


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## Flash

I'm so sorry Flashy you gave her a life she wouldn't have had anywhere else. 

Binky free Summer.


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## tonyshuman

What a special girl, and so beautiful. I know she was very well loved and had a wonderful life with you and her buddies. She was lucky to meet you, and I can tell that the love you had for her was returned by her. What a darling, gone too soon. I'm so sorry, Flashy. I hope knowing how special you made her life will give you some comfort.

Binky free, sweet Summer!


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## Flashy

I'm so sorry Summer, I've let you doen, I've let them down. I found a massivce wound on Tilly's neck, courtesty of Candyfloss, I'm sure. I'm just so sorry I wanted them to be ok without you and all I've done is hurt them further. UI'm so sorry for being such a rubbish rabbit owner. Maybe if I'd have got your tumour removed earlier you would have had longer. I'm sorry I fauiled you, I'm sorry I failed them. What should I do Sum? Rehome them all? Is that safest? Elt's face it, how the hell can I look after them whenI can't even look afte rmyself.


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## irishlops

well, summer is all some sepical rabbit. binky free.
sorrry tracey. i hope you are ok.


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## tonyshuman

Tracy, you didn't let any bunnies down. You're a great bunny mom who gave Summer more time to be a happy girl than she would have had otherwise. Huge hugs to you.


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## LuvaBun

*tonyshuman wrote: *


> Tracy, you didn't let any bunnies down. You're a great bunny mom who gave Summer more time to be a happy girl than she would have had otherwise. Huge hugs to you.


:yeahthat:

Tracy, I know you must be feeling rotten right now, but don't blame yourself for anything. Summer was a happy girl, loving the time you gave her. And as for Tilly's wound - we all know these things happen. Bunnies can be little bu**ers when they put their mind to it. 

All your rabbits are lucky to live with someone so caring who gives them a great life. 

Sending hugs your way :hug:

Jan


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## Flashy

Thanks guys.

I'm just on a huge downer really, exaccerabted by Summer, but definitely not caused by her.

I do just feel I'm failing them because I want the best for them and fel like I'm not giving it to them. To be fair though, if I rehomed them, that would also be a failure. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Thank you all for your support.


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## Flashy

My Dearest Lady,

I'm so confused. I look at pictures of you, I look at videos of you. I see ans feel no connection to you. It's worse than if you were someone elses bunny; far less connection. It's like you were never here, never such a huge personality, never a part of this family in such a big way. Summer, it's like you never existed. 

Yet, you must have existed. You're not a figment of my imagination unless we come back, once again, to this world not being real; in which case, that would explain why I feel so little for you.

I can't remember you. I just can't. The only way I can do it is if I watch videos of you or look at pictures, but seeing you provides no emotional response.

I feel like because I'm functioning, then you can't have been important to me. Look at what happened to me after both Moon and Flash's deaths. They were both so important to me and lead me to near death (in Moon's case, it should have been certain death). But here I am, carrying on, functioning, eating, drinking, sleeping and yet you were so amazingly special. It makes me feel like you weren't as important, like I didn't love you in that same deep way. I may not feel it now, but I know I did. I really, really did.

I have Sweeps' video on as I write this and its provoking far more emotion from me than your video did. I'm writing this to you, and crying about Sweep. I feel like such a rotten traitor Summer.

I love you more than words can ever explain, probably too much to feel right now, and yet it just looks like I'm doing fine and have gotten over you. I haven't. I promise. i' sorry you have been forgotten, but maybe with time all those memories will come back.

Just. Just be ok. Wherever you are, please. Or come back here for good, in your body. That would be better. Please.


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## Flashy

Summer! Your rose is flowering!

I'll take a picture my sweet, when it's open. It's beautiful. It's bright. Just like you!


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## LuvaBun

*Flashy wrote: *


> My Dearest Lady,
> 
> I'm so confused. I look at pictures of you, I look at videos of you. I see ans feel no connection to you. It's worse than if you were someone elses bunny; far less connection. It's like you were never here, never such a huge personality, never a part of this family in such a big way. Summer, it's like you never existed.
> 
> Yet, you must have existed. You're not a figment of my imagination unless we come back, once again, to this world not being real; in which case, that would explain why I feel so little for you.
> 
> I can't remember you. I just can't. The only way I can do it is if I watch videos of you or look at pictures, but seeing you provides no emotional response.
> 
> I feel like because I'm functioning, then you can't have been important to me. Look at what happened to me after both Moon and Flash's deaths. They were both so important to me and lead me to near death (in Moon's case, it should have been certain death). But here I am, carrying on, functioning, eating, drinking, sleeping and yet you were so amazingly special. It makes me feel like you weren't as important, like I didn't love you in that same deep way. I may not feel it now, but I know I did. I really, really did.
> 
> I have Sweeps' video on as I write this and its provoking far more emotion from me than your video did. I'm writing this to you, and crying about Sweep. I feel like such a rotten traitor Summer.


Y'know Tracy, this is just how I felt (and sometimes still do) about Pernod. I can't bring myself to think too much about her, because it hurts so much, and this makes me feel as though I'm forgetting how special she was.

I think Summer meant so much to you, that you are focusing more on the others to stop the huge pain you'd feel if you let yourself think about her(if that makes sense). And i think that the fact that you're 'functioning' shows that you have made huge steps in your own personal recovery. :hug:

And how lovely that her rose is blooming . Please, post a picture here whn you can.

Jan


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## Flashy

Thank you Jan. Sometimes I think I'm getting 'better' and more practiced at grieving. At other times I realise I'm not.

I certainly will post pics  It's going to be beautiful.


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## Flashy

Summer.

Nobody knows.
Nobody cares.
Nobody hears.
About anything.

I love you and I miss you. You better be hearing that little lady!


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## Flashy

Hey Sum,

We missed you today. I took Tilly to meet a lovely old lady. Tilly was very good with her but I know that you would have been good with her and completely thrived on it.

Missing you good girl. Thinking of all the things I wanted to do with you but never got a chance, such as take you out and about, have you sitting on my front car seat and go somewhere like Pets At Home, or for you to come to therapy with me and walk around during the session.

I miss you and I miss having such a people rabbit, well, more than a people rabbit, I think you were a person in a rabbits body. You were one in a million.

I had a nightmare about you last night and woke up really early this morning because of it, it was horrible. Given I also had a nightmare about all the bridge buns from last year I think it was connected with the video, but it was horrible. I'm just really glad it was not real. I'd hate for you to die like that.

Loving you and missing you.


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## CKGS

((((((Flashy))))))) Big, big hugs to you.


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## Flashy

Thank you.

My heart really aches for her today. I miss my Ummery Summery Girl.


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## LuvaBun

:hug:

Jan


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## Flashy

:hug:


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## Flashy

Hey Lady Girl.

I bought you something today, well, not for you, but for us, to remember you.

Dad has spent today and will spend tomorrow converting the old run. Who was the last bun to live there? Well, that would be you.

Guess when Candyfloss and Dusk will finally be able to moive in? Monday. What's Monday? It's your first gotcha day. Such a sad and tragic day and they will be moving to where you lived. That's quite poignant.

The run was always Sunshine and Sweeps place, but after having you there it feels like your place. Summer's Place.

I miss you.


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## Flashy

Ummery Summery! It's been so long, yet no time at all.

Just dropping in to say I love you. I sure hope you're looking after Tilly well, and showing her the best places to be, and teaching her how to binky now her head is straight.

If you could both visit Roge from time to time I know he would appreciate it. And I would love to see you too.

Love you sweetness.

x


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## Flashy

My Ummery Summery Girlie.

Its been one year. Tomorrow will be one year.

You're growing beautiful dandelions, and for that I thank you. You heard my plea. Thank you for saving Rosie, even though you never knew her. She owes you her life.

I miss you big girl.

Roger is happy again now. He has Sandy. He's not alone.

I'm hoping that you and Tilly are free from the physical constraints you struggled with here.

We often talk about you, and laugh about you. You're still very much loved and missed my lovely girl.

Tell Tilly that everything she went through is now helping Rosie too with her tilt, and also please tell her that one day, in the future, maybe I'll honour her even more.

Summer, you were a bright light in my life. Thank you for being here. It's a shame you weren't here longer, but I just treasure the funny days and times we had.

I hope you're happy Summer.

Love you.

x


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## Flashy

Got Sum, I just watched your video. I'd forgotten. Probably by choice.

You were simply wonderful.

One of the real specials.

Thank you for coming into my life.


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## LuvaBun

Can't believe it's been a year!

She was a very special girl!

Jan


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