# Still Greiving Chester



## bumblebunnies07 (Feb 25, 2008)

For Chester,

Why won't my heart ever stop aching over my little bun, Chester? It hurts so much and its been almost a whole year. March 23, 2007, a friday, was when he left for the rainbow bridge, less thantwo weeks after my birthday. 

He was my first bun ever and I can't tell how many things I did wrong. But he always pulled through. I just feel like since I started volunteering at the shelter, I know so much more, and I feel as if this new knowledge could have given him a longer, happier life. I feel like he deserved a better mommy; like I wasn't good enough. I can't ever stop thinking about him and I sometimes wish that I didn't feel anything. Everywhere I go, I take his picture with me, and I talk to him every night before bed. I guess to some people I seem silly; they say, "it's just a rabbit, get over it" but they just don't understand. He wasn't just a rabbit. For a long time, he was my only friend, and my best friend.

Thanks to Chester, I have found my calling to be a rabbit specializing vet. He showed me the way to the shelter. And I believe he showed me what my life was missing.

I wish I could go back and do so many things over again, but I can't. I know that he loved me. And he knew that I loved him. I still love him, and I wish that I could have him back. I will never forget you, Chester. And when we meet again, life will be back to normal. 

Thank you so much Chester. Without you, my life wouldhave beena struggle. I love you, my sweet, little Chester. :rainbow: :bunnyangel::rabbithop :bunnyheart :dutch :bunnyhug: :hearts :cry1:


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## Flashy (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm so sorry.

I can relate so much to that on a really deep level.

It's really important that you keep talking about how you feel. Have you thought about bereavement counselling? It can make the world if different.

I think the wonderings, the 'what ifs' the 'if I had's are very normal, but they do drive you crazy. I now know that had I come to the forum earlier I could have saved the lives of some of my most precious rabbits (one of who was my best ever friend), and it's horrible to know that. Try to think positive though, in that you now have the knowledge and you can now make a difference to other rabbits. That won't bring back Chester, but it might help you to know you are making a wonderful difference.

Like I said, I can deeply relate to what you said. If you need a chat or anything, then feel free to PM me. 

Don't go through this alone.

Look after yourself, take care and welcome to the forum.



RIP Chester.


X


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## Bo B Bunny (Feb 26, 2008)

I know that sometimes the hurt never seems to end.... I'm sorry you lost your little friend. :hug:


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## TreasuredFriend (Feb 26, 2008)

So many rabbits can only "dream" of knowing a wonderful human soulmate like YOU, bumblebunnies.

Your compassion to share Chester's picture with others, that you loved him, will strike a chord with humans who bond with their pets. Everyone understands. I remember visiting elder friends of my parents, and they had a picture of their son on the wall in military uniform. To commemorate his service to his country. I would understand if they chose to talk about him. Time is necessary to heal and move forward. In Chester's passing, you can change the world for another jeopardized bun.

Heck, this past Saturday we crazy WI rabbit people had a Rabbit Rendezvous supper. Lee pulls out pictures of his six buns from his wallet. :bunnyheart 

I will deeply regret taking a foster boy to a particular vet, where he died on the surgery table. The grief was overwhelming due to my inability to explore other options, get a 2nd opinion, b/c I took this vet's endorsement from the HRS for granted. When I look back, warning flags were waving in front of me. uuggh. Didn't know better back then. In reaction to my grief, two young rabbits came into the shelter a few days later, and I reached out to withdraw one from the existing cage cells. That allowed those two to have sufficient space, not be PTS.
May 23, 2005. 

We can never bring them back and we'll always lament over the what ifs. As Flashy wrote. {{Bo B Bunny >> The ache can linger for a long time}}. Everytime I glance at Beep-a-Lou's gravesite the memory is there. Comin' up on 3 years. It hurts, yet I turn to hug disabled Karla who needs me very much at this time, Tammy, and the gang of other special rescues and family.

Your actions to help others and let Chester's spirit live through your future efforts, and influence your career calling is magnificent. How lucky Chester was to be your best friend.

THANK YOU for Volunteering. RO is a great forum, and so? Please pass along his love. Touched by Chester's Love - a thought for bumblebunnie's location?!?
Nose rubs & Kisses to your Crew !!! !!:sunshine:


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## TreasuredFriend (Feb 26, 2008)

In the early sixties, the man down the street raised rabbits. My parents thought it'd be neat to get another one, baby one, put the youngen in the cage with the adult rabbit we already had. Oh how cool, ... another rabbit for us to care for. Back in the sixties, everybody got an EaSter Bunny or Chick!! Lil' whitey was put outside in the sturdy cage hutch my grandfather built. Seared on my mind is the indelible memory of coming out to the garage-side hutch when my old'r sister said, dad/mom, something's wrong! The little guy/gal's neck was chewed open. S/he was still alive. My dad put the suffering baby out of his misery.
We didn't know back then.
I'm sorry, off topic truely, but a means to reach out and Inform Others of our bunny-savvy knowledge on care for rabbits. Spay/neuter. Don't combine 2 strange rabbits as fights can be deadly.

Two thumbs up for volunteering!
Much love to you and yours,


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## momofmany (Feb 26, 2008)

It is amazing how the pain seems to linger in us when we lose a special loved one.  I am very sorry for the loss of your dear Chester.


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## EileenH (Feb 28, 2008)

I'm sorry you're still hurting...

This isn't about a bunny, but it is a similar situation.
About , goodness, could be 20 years ago now! - I was in a serious relationship with a guy who thought it would be fun to get a monkey. We had her (Peppi) for about 8 years. About 6 years into it, she would sometimes attack us; the boyfriend was not happy & looking to "get rid of her". She stopped biting, but I started looking into options in case he pulled that again, & found a wonderful monkey sanctuary and started donating to them.

Well, 2 years later...we broke up. He wasn't taking care of her (he was very busy dating new women), so I pretty much just took her one day & said he couldn't have her back.
I loved her so much. But, kind of like a kid caught in a divorce (monkeys are pretty smart), she was miserable. If I had another guy over, she'd flip out. If the old boyfriend came over to see her, she would be totaly confused and start self-mutilating.
I tried for a year to work with her, but one day she attacked me pretty badly when I was sleeping. It wasn't even that, that made me have to give her up, it was the look of confusion & hatred in her eyes she had. All I wanted was for her to be happy, and I realized then that I couldn't make her happy anymore.

I contacted the sanctuary, & they agreed to take her there. With my heart totally broken, I brought her to the airport, with a little baggie of snacks for her. I will never forget having to put her carrier onto the belt; I gave her a cookie and as she happily was opening it up to eat it, I turned and walked away forever.

To this day, I think of how terrified she must have been in the belly of that plane; being picked up by a stranger to live, instead of sleeping in my bed, outside with other monkeys.
Sadly, she didn't make it too long at the sanctuary. Despite all the workers tries to introduce her to other monkeys, not knowing the social working of primates, she would go up to the wrong one & get injured. She finally settled in with 2 lemurs, but the stress of her world changing took its toll, and she died there, 9 months after I sent her there.

I still..to this day...am tortured over this. I didn't know about imprinting and/or taming, or stress. I learned the hard way (well, it WAS forced on me by stupid selfish boyfriend) that it is wrong to have exotic pets. I know none of it was my fault, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Part of me knows I should go for therapy over this. But another part of me doesn't want to fix it - in a way, it helps me never forget her, because it still hurts.

I have, however, since that happened, quit a horrible job & have become a veterinary technician. I run a wildlife hospital, and hope on some level that some of what I do makes up for the lack of knowledge I did to her, which cost her her life. Does it? I don't know, but it's something.

So, I know how you feel. We've all made mistakes. It will get better, slowly but surely. A little piece ofChester will be in every bunny you help for the rest of your life. And in our lives too, for telling us your story about him. *hugs*


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## Becca (Feb 28, 2008)

That actually brought a massive tear to my eye :bigtears:

I feel so sorry - for you:rip:little bunbun

hugs and bunny kisses

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## EileenH (Feb 28, 2008)

I just tried to edit my post, but it's past the allowed time.

Please know there was no intent to hijack the thread - it seemed like the right thing while I was typing it, but perhaps it wasn't.

Sweet dreams, Chester, and know that we understand, bumblebunnies.


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## EileenH (Feb 28, 2008)

I just tried to edit my post, but it's past the allowed time.

Please know there was no intent to hijack the thread - it seemed like the right thing while I was typing it, but perhaps it wasn't.

Sweet dreams, Chester, and know that we understand, bumblebunnies.


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