# Life changes



## bunnyman666 (Sep 15, 2014)

I have been trying to get out of this funk I have been in for several years. First of all, my career has been steadily declining for the last seven years. I have ended up working in some downright regrettable situations and feel that the last three places I have worked in were HUGE mistakes. I don't know what I am doing wrong; if I did, I would make the proper adjustments and get back on track. I feel that I do all that I can to make my customers happy. As a result of my declining career, I now absolutely hate my current occupation, which is hair dressing.

I have been struggling with a lot of issues as a result of my declining career, including depression, borderline alcoholism, and constant battles at home with my wife about money. The only two things that have helped me stay sane is a newly rediscovered love of ice hockey and the love of my little Trixie. My wife is trying to be supportive, but her patience is wearing thin. I understand where she is coming from.

I am trying like mad to get into another occupation. I don't have any other education other than the technical schooling that was required for my license. What's killing me is that I have relevant skills that have been developed in my current occupation that the online resume filters don't see and it is maddening!!! I hate that these days, you can't even sell yourself in person. With thousands of applicants and only hundreds of jobs, it just feels so hopeless and I feel helpless. 

I hate that I feel like somewhere, there is a voodoo doll of me being messed with. I regularly question what I have done to deserve what I am going through. I now have a very bitter view of the world, and I take it very personally when a client seeks services elsewhere, especially when they are shady about cancelling appointments. The phone does not ring. I am so burnt out, yet I feel like I can't change my situation.

If you haven't fallen asleep after the fourth paragraph, I have a question specifically for those of you who have had to reinvent themselves: what did you do? Any advice for me? 

Thanks for reading.


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## Gordon (Oct 7, 2014)

I have to say this post really hits home with me. I don't visit RO that much, but I've been a member here for a few years, just stopping by to play a game or look at a picture or two. 

My degree is in psychology, but I've never done much with that(a B.A. doesn't really qualify you for much beyond crisis counseling, which is what I used to do, many moons ago). I've mostly worked in customer service from selling cameras, marking maps at AAA, giving out cash as a bank teller, to telemarketing health insurance(worst three months of my life). I've been a night auditor at a hotel for the past 9 years after a 4 year hiatus I took from working(I saved some money and took a long vacation, so to speak).

For me, the job is just a way to make some money, and keep point A connected to B, basically. I never was a super ambitious fellow, but in the grand scheme of things, the job thing just hasn't been something I've invested much energy of any kind into because I find that sort of soul-sucking, and I'd rather invest my emotions in stuff of my own, away from a workplace environment. 

But getting to your question ~ I think you just have to persevere and keep looking for another job, or in your case, a new career path altogether, which may involve going back to school, or some other specialized training. If you don't mind me asking, what sort of work does your wife do, and have you considered following her into that? 

If possible, I highly recommend quitting what you're doing now, and taking some time off to recharge your batteries.

You've got the right animal for dealing with the funk, though. Rabbits are great, but you already know that! :sunshine:


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 7, 2014)

Thanks for your thoughts. Ironically, when I was at a career crossroads, I thought about following my wife into mortgage lending as a loan officer; however, that would have been an even BIGGER mistake, as it was right before the downturn. More ironically, people who had interviewed me said I had been in my occupation "forever and a day", making me not suitable for the job.

I have actually been trying to leave this occupation for many years. I'd love to take time off, but we'd be homeless. We need the money.

I'm actually considering working in a warehouse or something if I could still maintain a semblance of hair business. At this point, I could fill three days per week with a condensed schedule. If I could find a somewhat high paying part time job with a stable schedule, I could probably be a bit more comfortable. 

And to whomever said "money isn't everything": it's probably because the person who said it is indepently wealthy!!!!


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## Azerane (Oct 7, 2014)

Haha, yep. Money isn't everything except when you need to eat or pay bills etc 

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through tough times. If you're in that much of a rut with hairdressing and aren't looking to continue doing it, I don't see anything wrong with applying for any sort of retail work. I work in a warehouse style hardware store, I'd never set foot in one before until I submitted my resume. To be honest, I don't like retail, and I'm not a people person (although I am polite and friendly etc). But the people I work with are great, the environment is great and best of all, they pay me. So while it's definitely not something I'm interested in keeping at (though I've been there 7 years already) I still enjoy it because of everything/everyone around me. Eventually I'll start looking more seriously into doing work that I really want to do, but for now, I'm happy where I am. So in that regard, I really don't think it matters what you're doing (I'm not sure how specifically you're looking), so long as you're not unhappy in the work environment and you get paid enough to cover the bills etc.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 7, 2014)

I used to LOVE hair dressing. I still love it, but something has gone wrong enough that I can't sustain a healthy clientele. But I am getting burnt out on people being shady about leaving and not getting enough new business to replace the clients leaving. Every time I have a client leave, I wonder which bill is going to be that much tougher to pay. I haven't gone on Holiday in NINE YEARS!!!! I can't afford to because I don't get paid and I worry who is going to be angry with me for not being there when they need me.

Maybe a retail store could be where I go next if I can't get into a warehouse job.


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## Gordon (Oct 8, 2014)

bunnyman666 said:


> But I am getting burnt out on people being shady about leaving and not getting enough new business to replace the clients leaving.


 
I'm loyal to my barber, but my hair isn't. It keeps leaving me... 



> Maybe a retail store could be where I go next if I can't get into a warehouse job.


 
As Azerane said, retail isn't for everyone, but you probably have good people skills. I liked selling cameras, but it was fun. In general, I don't like dealing with strangers.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 8, 2014)

Update:

I made my LinkedIn profile a bit more serious, including getting rid of the pic of Trix with an Angry Bird. I also decided that I had better change my title from "King" to "Master Hairstylist" on there, as well. I did apply for a job in the warehouse at my favourite hockey retailer.

Maybe by the end of the year, I will have transitioned and I will talk about rabbits more.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 8, 2014)

Gordon said:


> I'm loyal to my barber, but my hair isn't. It keeps leaving me...
> 
> 
> 
> As Azerane said, retail isn't for everyone, but you probably have good people skills. I liked selling cameras, but it was fun. In general, I don't like dealing with strangers.



I am wanting to avoid retail because I have become so weary of evenings and weekends, though I know I could nail ANY retail job. 

Oddly enough, I have actually become quite weary of dealing with people, as well. I would love a job where I only dealt with rabbits. Not a breeder, but a bunny sitter. That would be awesome. But seriously... I don't know that my people skills haven't waned a bit, as I am having trouble with client loyalty.


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## Gordon (Oct 8, 2014)

bunnyman666 said:


> I would love a job where I only dealt with rabbits. Not a breeder, but a bunny sitter. That would be awesome.




I have a friend in Ohio who runs a sitting service called, Hare Care. There aren't many places like that. If you have a big enough house, you should consider going into that.




> I don't know that my people skills haven't waned a bit, as I am having trouble with client loyalty.


People are fickle, now, more than ever.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 8, 2014)

Gordon said:


> People are fickle, now, more than ever.




No kidding!!! The only comfort that I can give myself is that the ones that get between 3-5 visits and then run do that to EVERYONE. But it seems that what is happening is that the relationships that have run their course are not being replaced. I take it personally because these relationships generally are ended in the shadiest of ways. 

Maybe I could profit from this by writing a book about how to leave your service professional whilst saving face and being seen as gracious.


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## missyscove (Oct 8, 2014)

I'm a vet student and understand your desire to work with bunnies. When we get asked what sort of vet we want to be I often say companion exotics but if I could only do bunnies, that'd be ideal!

You could certainly get involved in bunny sitting on the side. I have classmates who have had great success with care.com for petsitting gigs over breaks.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 8, 2014)

Thanks for the suggestion.


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## degrassi (Oct 9, 2014)

I have a pet sitting side business and LOVE it. I do every kind of animal, not just bunnies. But its a great way to earn extra money, even if you only do it part time. I find my clients very loyal. People are super specific on who they trust caring for their animals and house. I am also picky on who I choose to be my clients(I only go by word of mouth now and recommendations). In 10yrs I have yet to loose a client.


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## bunnyman666 (Oct 9, 2014)

degrassi said:


> I have a pet sitting side business and LOVE it. I do every kind of animal, not just bunnies. But its a great way to earn extra money, even if you only do it part time. I find my clients very loyal. People are super specific on who they trust caring for their animals and house. I am also picky on who I choose to be my clients(I only go by word of mouth now and recommendations). In 10yrs I have yet to loose a client.



You must be an EXCELLENT pet sitter. Good onya.


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## Katiedarling (Dec 1, 2014)

Hi! I totally know how you feel. Especially as far as working in a career in the beauty industry. It is a fickle one for sure! Since you still love doing hair, have you ever thought of doing it as a freelancer(on photo shoots, film/video or weddings). It would still involve a bit of dealing with other people. But perhaps it may allow you to find the joy in it again? It is something you could do in addition to whatever part time work you find. It allows you to control how & when you work, and also dictate who you choose to accept work with. Extra cash in addition to your PT work, and you also get to maintain the creative outlet. Burnout is not a happy place to be. But I suspect, since I assume it is the creative aspect of being a stylist that you still enjoy, that if you give it up altogether, your creative outlet could be stifled. I've BTDT in my career


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## Katiedarling (Dec 1, 2014)

And the need to be creative won out and I eventually realized the grass wasnt as green as I expected, so to speak. I do hope you find/found something that works in your favor! Much luck to you!


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## bunnyman666 (Dec 1, 2014)

Katiedarling-

I'm in a bit of a holding pattern at the moment. I am in the midst of trying to get my wife's health problems stabilised. Nothing life threatening, but her treatments do take one day per month that I need to be around for her.

I have other venues for creativity, as I am also a musician. Hair has become a collosal pain in the arse, and I am hoping to get a better job and do some hair on the side.

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.


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## Katiedarling (Dec 1, 2014)

Oh, Sure hope your wife gets better soon! I think it's cool that you are a musician, too. What do you play? I always wanted to learn how to play bass. I had offers from a friend to teach me I just haven't gotten the chance to start. I would also love to pick up the violin again. I only played in the middle school orchestra. I do miss it. 
Well, I hope your holding pattern opens up to something really fulfilling. Hair clients really can be fickle. My BF owns a salon, and over the last couple of years has been dealing with a major illness. Her clients don't seem to care that she is legitimately sick. It seems they expect her to come do their hair even if she were bleeding out of her eyes and dying. LOL


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## bunnyman666 (Dec 1, 2014)

Drummer, but I have fronted my own solo project. I had a somewhat cult hit in 2008 called "Holla (fo a Dolla)" that got some Youtube and Myspace action, as well as a few downloads. www.myspace.com/dougrogers is where you can take a listen. I stopped hosting my bad Youtube video because I was supposed to have a professional video produced (which didn't happen, obviously). I also stopped hosting my song on iTunes in anticipation of releasing my EP, but a few issues came along that killed the EP. The EP had a year-long shelf-life. At this rate, I would be better to release a full LP commemorating the 10 year anniversary of "Holla..."

My wife's illness is chronic, but manageable. Right now, the treatments kick her butt. Eventually, she will have a better go and be able to drive herself.

Yes, I have seen personally who customers don't give one sh** about your well-being, and if there is a whiff of the possibility of you being out for any extended time, they turn tail on you, as well. I don't envy your friend. I hope she emerges intact and propserous.


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## bunnyman666 (Aug 18, 2016)

Update:

It's been awhile since I've posted in this thread. I gave up altogether looking for new employment for a year or so, but then I had one of the most rotten July months I have EVER had. I had started applying to Amazon (which at $12.00/hour, was going to require me to continue doing some hair to survive) and other jobs, when something opened up where my wife works. We won't directly work together, but she is going to help me learn the job. The bonus? I can ditch the hair completely if I choose as I will make much more (especially this past year) money than I have in a few years. I won't be able to play daytime hockey, but that's fine with me. 

Thanks to any of you who put out a few good thoughts for me.


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## Gordon (Aug 18, 2016)

Good to hear things are going well, bunnyman. So many old-time blue collar jobs that once paid a pretty fair amount are going away entirely, or paying much less than they used to. The best paying job I ever had was as a night auditor at a hotel, but 3rd shift takes it toll.


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## bunnyman666 (Aug 19, 2016)

The big thing, Gordon, is that the recession has basically all but eliminated three week hair colour services. I made a TONNE of money from those services, and literally many people who were coming 17 times per year reduced it to 12. Multiply that by five customers, and suddenly you now have 25 more open spots in the schedule, which is roughly one spot to replace every two weeks! You would not believe the number of powders, crayons, sprays, and even root touch up kits that have made people go longer and longer between services. Again- I made several poor business decisions including going to a place that turned out to be where old hair dressers go to die. Moving to a high-end place was what I needed to do when I made my first big move ten years back, but none existed with the compensation schedule I wanted. But I wasn't going to stay where I was, which has none of the people who were there when I started (except for the owner), moved locations AGAIN and then changed their name! I just did it quicker than the other two most tenured stylists. It's a rough, rough world for hairstylists, for certain!

Oh well. I am hoping to be able to do a bit of hair on the side to get some bills paid down.


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## bunnyman666 (Dec 29, 2016)

Four months into the new job has presented new problems, none of which are money problems. I did some weeding out of problem hair customers when I started the transition, and a few others weeded themselves out. I kept a lot more than I thought I was going to keep. 

As far as the new job, it has been hard, but with monetary stability and a retirement, I will deal with the difficulty. No kid says they want to work an office job when they grow up, for certain! My boss got a little too much into her power. She is the worst boss I have EVER worked for. But I am only eight weeks away from being eligible to look into a different department.

I did burn the candle at both ends last week and paid for it with a nasty cold. I took a sick day yesterday and the boss did NOT like it. A lot of customers that have been bitterly clinging on are still doing so at this point, and I have decided that I am going to do another weeding earlier than expected as my foreseen duties at the "real" job are increasing. I am happily still doing both jobs, but it could cost me my health if I am not careful. I work 1-3 evenings per week and all day Saturday and whilst enjoying the money, it is hard on me. I don't have a lot of time to spend it, so bills are coming down. My goal is Saturday and ONE evening per week. My weeding out plan will include another increase that will put me closer to what a hair dresser with my level of experience is SUPPOSED to earn. I don't want to totally lunch the hair money, but I have to make it worth my while. 

In all- it took a little while longer for me to start into the transition, but it has finally started to happen. Despite being tired, I enjoy doing hair more than I have in a very long time. Sometimes I wonder if I got into the right type of work, but I know I can get into another department sooner than later. I am not the same, mopey guy at the beginning of this thread. Thanks for reading.


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## bunnyman666 (Apr 25, 2017)

Update: six months in, and I am feeling like I am managing things better. My boss and I get along a little better. It still bums me out that I can only play hockey once per week regularly. I really don't have time for much these days, but I am going to enjoy the ride while I can. Then I can get my little bundle of long eared, nose wiggling fun once things slow a bit.


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## Gordon (Apr 25, 2017)

Good to hear from you. I hope things continue to go well.


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## bunnyman666 (Apr 30, 2017)

Gordon said:


> Good to hear from you. I hope things continue to go well.



Thank you.

A year ago now was when I was pondering unthinkable things. I was so depressed that I was uncertain of what to do. 

Now, if I can just get this part of my life where I don't have a life better, I will be happy. Then a bunny can share our house!


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## Gordon (Apr 30, 2017)

bunnyman666 said:


> I was so depressed that I was uncertain of what to do.



I understand.


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