# Bunny passed away, can’t seem to overcome grief and guilt..



## Rsjm

This is a very long post, but I need to find the words to describe the situation, I apologise if it is too lengthy.

My beloved 7 and a half year of lop passed away Wednesday noon.. i didn’t order a post mortem to find the exact cause of death, in part cause of financial constraints, and also partly cuz I didn’t want to find out the reason why (how much of my fault it was..) I just know it was due to her bloat/ GI stasis.

I have 2 rabbits, and she was a joy in my life. I can’t believe she’s gone. She’s had a few rounds of GI stasis throughout the years, and after the first few times with visits to the vet, I learnt to treat her myself with belly massages as well as syringe feeding her with water and food. 

On Tuesday around 6pm, I realised she was pooping large soft masses that stuck to her butt. She was clearly uncomfortable and did not want to eat, drink, or move. I left her for a while and waited till evening to see if it fit better/worse. At 10pm, she was still the same. So I syringe fed her some water and massages. She didn’t seem weak, the usual bunny-loaf posture and could still hop around to find her comfortable spot/position.

On Wednesday morning (about 12 hours after symptoms appeared) i woke up to find her in the same place as the night before, staying there for the whole night. I massaged her a little more, and thought that I should give it a bit more time before bringing her to the vet, since it’s only been 12 hours and her bouts usually lasted 24-36 hours before getting better with home treatment.

I went out to get some ridwind, and gave her a long belly massage before feeding her the ridwind at 1130am on wednesday. Up till that point, she was in her bunny-loaf position. She looked upset and clearly uncomfortable, but did not look weak or dying.

I went to take a shower, and was gonna take her to the vet after that. When I came out, she was sprawled on the ground looking very weak with her paws sprawled all over. I panicked, and ldrove as fast as I could to the vet （30min drive)

My beloved bunny passed away on the way to the vet, less than 24 hours after she started exhibiting symptoms, and barely 30mins after the last round of massages and ridwind. I can’t help but think that instead of helping her, I made her condition worse. The massages worsened the bloat/stasis instead of helping her. That’s the only reason I can think of that her condition worsened so quickly in less than 24 hours.

I can’t get over it, and I don’t know if I ever will. My lovely bunny had a good few more years with us, and I let her down by failing to get her to the vet on time. I had a similar situation many years ago, where my puppy passed away on the way to the vet too. Coincidentally, it was on the same date. 23rd October 2002. I blamed myself for not being faster, not catching onto the signs earlier. Tried to show my other rabbit that she’s gone, but he can’t seem to understand and it breaks my heart.

My lovely bunny only had me to count on, and I let her down. I work from home so I spend about 8 hours with my bunnies everyday running around my room. I am devastated and I’ve been telling myself this is just a bad dream, and I’ll wake up from it. No words can describe the pain and grief I feel right now. What do I do from here, how do I overcome the guilt? How do I continue living my life, cuz I can’t imagine life without her right now, especially when her life ended prematurely due to my own mistake.

please reply with pictures of your bunnies as well, it would mean a lot to me..


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## Gelly

Oh, she was gorgeous. She lived a long and happy life with an amazing bun-parent. You were in no way neglectful and you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's normal to blame yourself and fish out all the ways it was your fault. I moved out of the country a couple years ago for a little and in the 4 months I was gone, my cat passed away. When my family told me, I blamed myself completely thinking if I'd been there, she would have been alive. But the truth is, it was her time and there is no sense in blaming yourself. Remember her for all the good times instead of focusing on the end. I gave my bun an extra squeeze in her memory.

here's a picture of Rémy


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## Kittylion

I am so sorry for your loss. I can see how much you loved your precious bun and your pain and grief are overwhelming. It's normal to do, but don't beat yourself up. You did not do anything wrong, just the opposite! You lovingly cared for her and did all that you could to pull her through. Don't forget that bunnies are meant to hide illness as a survival skill, for all you know she might have had cancer or some underlying illness. You did what had worked for her in the past, but it seems it was her time to go over that Rainbow Bridge. Take comfort in all the sweet memories of the life you shared with her and from your surviving bunny. She was such a beautiful bun and I know it feels like a hole in your gut right now, I've been through it and I know. But her memory should be a blessing. And you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, truly, accept that. You did well by her, bringing her through the stasis before. The only bad thing about bunnies is that they don't live to fifty.


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## Rsjm

Gelly said:


> Oh, she was gorgeous. She lived a long and happy life with an amazing bun-parent. You were in no way neglectful and you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's normal to blame yourself and fish out all the ways it was your fault. I moved out of the country a couple years ago for a little and in the 4 months I was gone, my cat passed away. When my family told me, I blamed myself completely thinking if I'd been there, she would have been alive. But the truth is, it was her time and there is no sense in blaming yourself. Remember her for all the good times instead of focusing on the end. I gave my bun an extra squeeze in her memory.
> 
> here's a picture of Rémy



Remy looks so calm and happy to be around you. Holly was the same, always lying everywhere being happy around us. Her surviving hus-bun is a bit more wary. Standing up whenever we get close and panicking easily. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me as well, means the world to me. Please give remy a treat today on behalf of Holly  
She used to love bananas. Wish I had the chance to give her more..


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## Rsjm

Kittylion said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. I can see how much you loved your precious bun and your pain and grief are overwhelming. It's normal to do, but don't beat yourself up. You did not do anything wrong, just the opposite! You lovingly cared for her and did all that you could to pull her through. Don't forget that bunnies are meant to hide illness as a survival skill, for all you know she might have had cancer or some underlying illness. You did what had worked for her in the past, but it seems it was her time to go over that Rainbow Bridge. Take comfort in all the sweet memories of the life you shared with her and from your surviving bunny. She was such a beautiful bun and I know it feels like a hole in your gut right now, I've been through it and I know. But her memory should be a blessing. And you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, truly, accept that. You did well by her, bringing her through the stasis before. The only bad thing about bunnies is that they don't live to fifty.



It’s so hard to, but I guess it’ll just take time. Your bonded bunnies look adorable, used to have one of those cardboard houses as well before Holly destroyed it I was aware of GI stasis, but just did some reading and turns out bloating is different from stasis, and somewhat more severe and requires immediate vet intervention. Perhaps that is why her condition worsened in less than 24 hours.. hope this information can help anyone else reading. 
Thank you as well for taking the time to reply me. Treats for your bunnies on behalf of holly please


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## JenGibs

Let me start by saying I’m so sorry this happened. But you know what? You are amazing! You cared for her so much and we all can tell. Most bun parents don’t know to show their bond-mate that the other bun is gone. The fact that you gave him time with her, even though you think he didn’t understand, that was a very important process for him. A lot of times the other bun searches and searches for their friend for a long time. He will connect the dots because you gave him that gift. Also, we know he will be just fine because you are there to look after him.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Maybe it was just her time. She knows you loved her and did everything you could. I wish we could keep our fur babies forever but they are not meant to be here that long. They come and bless us in their own special way and then go off to the rainbow bridge. Though so heartbreaking, they give us an unconditional love that we all need in our lives and in return we get some of the most devoted friends we will ever have.
Let yourself grieve. Look back at your memories and spend bunches of time with your other bun. I know it’s so early to think about but if he is a friendly fellow, thinking about trying to find him a bun-mate sooner rather than later is good for him. I don’t know how long they were together. I know my Georgia chapter of House Rabbit Society has so many bunnies that need loving homes. They know their personalities so well and provide sessions with as many bunnies as it takes until your little guy would find a friend. They are truly very helpful and they want nothing but the best for their babies as you do for yours.
Take care and let us know if we can help with anything. 
Camilla (the duckie) sends her love and Wally (the football player) sends his love too.


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## A & B

I'm sorry. She was beautiful. 

Remember you did absolutely everything you could have and even if you would have taken her to the vet the very second you had suspicions she still might not have made it. Try to remember the good times and not her death. Stay strong and know we're always here.


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## Rsjm

Th


JenGibs said:


> Let me start by saying I’m so sorry this happened. But you know what? You are amazing! You cared for her so much and we all can tell. Most bun parents don’t know to show their bond-mate that the other bun is gone. The fact that you gave him time with her, even though you think he didn’t understand, that was a very important process for him. A lot of times the other bun searches and searches for their friend for a long time. He will connect the dots because you gave him that gift. Also, we know he will be just fine because you are there to look after him.
> Try not to be too hard on yourself. Maybe it was just her time. She knows you loved her and did everything you could. I wish we could keep our fur babies forever but they are not meant to be here that long. They come and bless us in their own special way and then go off to the rainbow bridge. Though so heartbreaking, they give us an unconditional love that we all need in our lives and in return we get some of the most devoted friends we will ever have.
> Let yourself grieve. Look back at your memories and spend bunches of time with your other bun. I know it’s so early to think about but if he is a friendly fellow, thinking about trying to find him a bun-mate sooner rather than later is good for him. I don’t know how long they were together. I know my Georgia chapter of House Rabbit Society has so many bunnies that need loving homes. They know their personalities so well and provide sessions with as many bunnies as it takes until your little guy would find a friend. They are truly very helpful and they want nothing but the best for their babies as you do for yours.
> Take care and let us know if we can help with anything.
> Camilla (the duckie) sends her love and Wally (the football player) sends his love too.



Yeah have been thinking of getting a bun-mate for him, but I don’t know when is it a good time to do so. 1 month? Or 3 months? On one hand I feel like I’m “betraying” her by replacing her, while on the other hand I know that she will never be replaced and I’m giving another bunny an opportunity for a better life. There are rabbit societies where I am, and will most definitely adopt one rather than purchase. Her surviving hus-bun is turning 8 next month, what age should his new partner be ideally?

I’m not located in the states, but I couldn’t find anywhere else to share my thoughts and feelings outside of this forum, since not many people where I’m from understand bunnies and the emotions that i am able to have with my bunnies. I am very, very grateful to all of you here for responding to me. Thank you Camilla, and thank you Wallie  <3


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## Rsjm

Alyssa and Bugs♡ said:


> I'm sorry. She was beautiful.
> 
> Remember you did absolutely everything you could have and even if you would have taken her to the vet the very second you had suspicions she still might not have made it. Try to remember the good times and not her death. Stay strong and know we're always here.



That’s what I’m slowly trying to accept as well, since she’s been giving us mini health scares for the longest of times. From what I read, there is not much vets can do for bloats, and even with surgery had I got there early, there would have been a high chance of failure. I guess I can only seek solace in that I gave her the best life that I hope she had. (Certainly hope she feels that way) 
Thank you very much for your reply as well. Sending love to Alyssa & Bugs too


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## cosmoluna

so so sorry for your loss <3 don’t blame yourself, it was just her time to go. hug her husbunny tight and love on him as you grieve. cosmo and luna send all their love, and i’ll give them some banana in her honor


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## Rsjm

cosmoluna said:


> so so sorry for your loss <3 don’t blame yourself, it was just her time to go. hug her husbunny tight and love on him as you grieve. cosmo and luna send all their love, and i’ll give them some banana in her honor



Thank you <3 
Cosmo & Luna look similar to my 2 buns as well. I'm feeling slightly better. Although the sight of having Hoppy alone in the room with me, without Holly, still triggers me and makes me cry. I guess this will take time. Very thankful for all your love and support, and taking the time to respond to me.


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## huffl

Sorry for your loss. We lost Annabelle 17 days ago at the vet. I was shocked when the vet called and said she passed away. This forum of friends will give you lots of love and support you need. You were in no way neglectful and you have nothing to feel guilty about. My vet said rabbits are beautiful, fragile creatures.


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## Nancy McClelland

No matter how hard we try, we all lose our babies. Some are with us a long time and others bless our lives for only a short while. Just how life is. Rest in peace little girl.


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## Toffeeandgingerx

Hi, first of all im so sorry for your loss! It’s such a hard time but she knew how loved and looked after she was and you did an amazing job with her! I lost one of my buns toffee at 7 months old and I too felt like I could have prevented it, as it was due to his neutering operation and I remember that I just felt so guilty that I chose to have him neutered and what if I hadn’t have done that? He’d still be here. I now find peace in the fact that he was loved and one spoilt little boy, even if I could only give him that for such a short period. He had a best friend ginger who went in to be neutered at the same time and ginger was left alone without his best friend( even if it was just a baby bunny buns) and everyone’s situation is different but within a month i chose to adopt a little girl so that he wasn’t lonely. I saw it as not replacing toffee but giving another bun a chance at the life he would have had. I hope that you’re ok soon and that you feel better. She was gorgeous. RIP


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## JenGibs

Rsjm said:


> Th
> 
> 
> Yeah have been thinking of getting a bun-mate for him, but I don’t know when is it a good time to do so. 1 month? Or 3 months? On one hand I feel like I’m “betraying” her by replacing her, while on the other hand I know that she will never be replaced and I’m giving another bunny an opportunity for a better life. There are rabbit societies where I am, and will most definitely adopt one rather than purchase. Her surviving hus-bun is turning 8 next month, what age should his new partner be ideally?
> 
> I’m not located in the states, but I couldn’t find anywhere else to share my thoughts and feelings outside of this forum, since not many people where I’m from understand bunnies and the emotions that i am able to have with my bunnies. I am very, very grateful to all of you here for responding to me. Thank you Camilla, and thank you Wallie  <3


You will never replace her. Each of our fur babies are different. I like that you would see it as giving another bunny an opportunity! I would reach out to a few rescues and vets to get their opinion on it. I don’t think there is a set time frame for trying to get him a friend. Just remember that it will take some time and patience to find a good match for him.


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## Rsjm

huffl said:


> Sorry for your loss. We lost Annabelle 17 days ago at the vet. I was shocked when the vet called and said she passed away. This forum of friends will give you lots of love and support you need. You were in no way neglectful and you have nothing to feel guilty about. My vet said rabbits are beautiful, fragile creatures.



Indeed they are.. I was fully expecting her to live to at least 10, if not maybe 12 given how well I thought I was looking after her. Shatters my heart thinking that I took those extra years away from her. Was not prepared for or anticipating it at all. I’m very thankful for this forum, literally joined yesterday as I couldn’t find anywhere else to share my emotions and grief. Thank you, for taking the time to reply me as well. Do send your buns my love and kisses from holly as well, she would have liked that.


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## Rsjm

Nancy McClelland said:


> No matter how hard we try, we all lose our babies. Some are with us a long time and others bless our lives for only a short while. Just how life is. Rest in peace little girl.


Thank you, it was the best 6 years I’ve ever had, and will never ever forget her. It’s so special how a bunny can make you feel. Never thought I’d feel like that.


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## Rsjm

Toffeeandgingerx said:


> Hi, first of all im so sorry for your loss! It’s such a hard time but she knew how loved and looked after she was and you did an amazing job with her! I lost one of my buns toffee at 7 months old and I too felt like I could have prevented it, as it was due to his neutering operation and I remember that I just felt so guilty that I chose to have him neutered and what if I hadn’t have done that? He’d still be here. I now find peace in the fact that he was loved and one spoilt little boy, even if I could only give him that for such a short period. He had a best friend ginger who went in to be neutered at the same time and ginger was left alone without his best friend( even if it was just a baby bunny buns) and everyone’s situation is different but within a month i chose to adopt a little girl so that he wasn’t lonely. I saw it as not replacing toffee but giving another bun a chance at the life he would have had. I hope that you’re ok soon and that you feel better. She was gorgeous. RIP



I’m so sorry to hear that. How did ginger react to it? My buns spent 6 years with his bun-mate, but now he’s acting normal/ non-Chalant, and I can’t tell if he’s okay or if he still doesn’t get it. Hurts me still. How are both your bunnies now? I’m feeling the same guilt as you had, if only I brought her to the vet sooner, if only I fed her more hay, if only I brought her for more checkups. Still beating myself up, although I’m still trying to rationalise with myself. It sucks, and I hope it gets better in time.


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## Rsjm

JenGibs said:


> You will never replace her. Each of our fur babies are different. I like that you would see it as giving another bunny an opportunity! I would reach out to a few rescues and vets to get their opinion on it. I don’t think there is a set time frame for trying to get him a friend. Just remember that it will take some time and patience to find a good match for him.



I don’t think she will ever be replaced. She was completely different from so many different bunnies that I see on Instagram/ in videos/ from friends etc, and I knew I had a very special bun. She spent a lot of her time grooming her hus-bun and he seldom reciprocated, but she still did it nonetheless. Initially she would bite me at the slightest discontent, but after a few months she never bit me anymore, no matter how much I annoyed or played with her. I guess she knew I wasn’t a threat and loved me too. Thank you for your replying me as well Jen, it really does mean the world to me. Thank you.


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## Rsjm

She was the goodest girl as well. Although she spent most of her day in my room, her litter box and playpen was about 20feet away, where her food/water/hay and litter box were. Hoppy would always pee and poo in my room as I figured it was far and he was lazy to go back to the playpen. Holly would always make the effort to travel all the way there to do her business, and come back to my room immediately after. Very seldom would she ever do it in my room. She was honestly the best and “goodest” buns ever. I had her cremated today, and have her ashes collected in a small urn. Is there anything I could do or place I could contact to turn some of the ashes into jewellery to be work, or has anyone done something similar before?


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## Toffeeandgingerx

Rsjm said:


> I’m so sorry to hear that. How did ginger react to it? My buns spent 6 years with his bun-mate, but now he’s acting normal/ non-Chalant, and I can’t tell if he’s okay or if he still doesn’t get it. Hurts me still. How are both your bunnies now? I’m feeling the same guilt as you had, if only I brought her to the vet sooner, if only I fed her more hay, if only I brought her for more checkups. Still beating myself up, although I’m still trying to rationalise with myself. It sucks, and I hope it gets better in time.


Ginger too was acting normal, it wasn’t until misty I realised he was missing toffee because of how normal he was acting. It does get better with time, it’s just different for every person, it took me time to realise I was doing what was best for toffee and that’s exactly what you did for your girl! You’ll never replace her and she’ll always be in your heart, I find myself talking about toffee alll the time. Gingers now happier than ever that he’s got a little mate again. But remember it’s your decision and what’s best for you and your bun. Plz keep us updated on everything and know you’re not alone if you need to talk


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## Allie_Bear

We had a similar situation with our last one. We had just gotten here GI back in shape after she was locked up. We had to stick syringes into her skin to feed water into her as the vet instructed. She was finally back to normal, but my wife had just left to go see her mother and I noticed our Allie-Bear "baby picture attached" lying on her side on the porch. That was not normal for her and I had just petted her while she was up in one of the spongy lounge chairs that she liked about ten minutes ago. Anyway, she was just about gone by the time I got to her. I hope that she was aware enough to feel comforted as I touched her before she passed. 
That was very unexpected though. The vet did a minimal autopsy and said she died of a brain tumor or growth in her skull. Personally, I think it's probable that she jumped off the chair and smacked her head on the metal table or chair cross-leg. She was getting older but insisted on still jumping up and off of high furniture despite that she was getting rather uncoordinated in her old age. She loved heights and used to scare us half to death climbing up high things. We had just moved into a new place one time and had a queen mattress and boxspring leaning against the wall with boxes next to them. She got on the boxes then all the way up on top of the mattress, then started hunching down and staring at the floor getting ready to jump down. I had visions of broken bunny leg before I snatched her up.
Anyway, we felt some guilt too, but it was her time. And we spoiled her and loved her every day. She had a pretty good life, like your bun's I'm sure. I miss our little monster. I love the harlequin breed as much for their playfulness as their mischief. Our first one "Booboo" had the strangest temper...very vindictive and stayed mad sometimes for days. I just have to share this ... I was remodeling virtually every room in the house, so I kept moving her cage and living area so I could work on the room she was in. She complained some depending on where I moved her, but once I chose the foyer at the front door. She hated that spot. She wouldn't eat, slammed her feet down, chewed on the cage bars and even after moving her from there she would not speak to us for almost four days. Cute, funny little creatures. Feel better...


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## Rsjm

Toffeeandgingerx said:


> Ginger too was acting normal, it wasn’t until misty I realised he was missing toffee because of how normal he was acting. It does get better with time, it’s just different for every person, it took me time to realise I was doing what was best for toffee and that’s exactly what you did for your girl! You’ll never replace her and she’ll always be in your heart, I find myself talking about toffee alll the time. Gingers now happier than ever that he’s got a little mate again. But remember it’s your decision and what’s best for you and your bun. Plz keep us updated on everything and know you’re not alone if you need to talk



Hoppy spent the past 2 days with me in my room. He seldom does this, as he usually likes to hang outside my room or in my toilet. I can really sense his loneliness and it pains me. I woke up crying for the 3rd day in a row. It does get better in the day, but it’s the waking up knowing she’s not here anymore that pains me to death. There aren’t many rabbit societies in my area, when I checked there was only 1 senior bun (5 yo, hoppy is 8) up for adoption. Have arranged a viewing first to see how he reacts. Ultimately, i want to do what’s best for him rather than me. Holly will forever be in my heart, no matter how many other bunnies I rescue in future, she really is irreplaceable. Thank you for your kind and comforting words. I’m very glad to have the support of you and the people on this forum. Will definitely keep you guys updated. Might be kinda weird, but I’m arranging to get a tattoo of her done on me. Although I have many photos and videos of her, I’m really afraid of ever forgetting how she looks (my memory is real bad). It’s also my way of doing something in her memory


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## Rsjm

Allie_Bear said:


> We had a similar situation with our last one. We had just gotten here GI back in shape after she was locked up. We had to stick syringes into her skin to feed water into her as the vet instructed. She was finally back to normal, but my wife had just left to go see her mother and I noticed our Allie-Bear "baby picture attached" lying on her side on the porch. That was not normal for her and I had just petted her while she was up in one of the spongy lounge chairs that she liked about ten minutes ago. Anyway, she was just about gone by the time I got to her. I hope that she was aware enough to feel comforted as I touched her before she passed.
> That was very unexpected though. The vet did a minimal autopsy and said she died of a brain tumor or growth in her skull. Personally, I think it's probable that she jumped off the chair and smacked her head on the metal table or chair cross-leg. She was getting older but insisted on still jumping up and off of high furniture despite that she was getting rather uncoordinated in her old age. She loved heights and used to scare us half to death climbing up high things. We had just moved into a new place one time and had a queen mattress and boxspring leaning against the wall with boxes next to them. She got on the boxes then all the way up on top of the mattress, then started hunching down and staring at the floor getting ready to jump down. I had visions of broken bunny leg before I snatched her up.
> Anyway, we felt some guilt too, but it was her time. And we spoiled her and loved her every day. She had a pretty good life, like your bun's I'm sure. I miss our little monster. I love the harlequin breed as much for their playfulness as their mischief. Our first one "Booboo" had the strangest temper...very vindictive and stayed mad sometimes for days. I just have to share this ... I was remodeling virtually every room in the house, so I kept moving her cage and living area so I could work on the room she was in. She complained some depending on where I moved her, but once I chose the foyer at the front door. She hated that spot. She wouldn't eat, slammed her feet down, chewed on the cage bars and even after moving her from there she would not speak to us for almost four days. Cute, funny little creatures. Feel better...



I completely understand what you mean. I absolutely love it when holly gets mad, not on purpose of course. When hoppy (her husbun) pees on the floor beside her, and I have to wipe it with a towel, she gets so mad at the moving towel she bites and scratches at me whilst I’m cleaning. Sometimes she gets bad dreams and wakes up suddenly and just thumps for 5 minutes. Really amuses me! She loves to jump up to high places as well! But she never does jump off after getting up. Sometimes I put her pellets on my bed, so she slowly learnt to jump up to look for food. My bed is pretty high, so she can’t jump down but will dig and scratch my blankets to show her unhappiness till we carried her off. Bunnies really are amazing and funny creatures with special personalities. I’ve a dog and a cat as well, and even though they both make great pets, a bunnies personality is so much more unique and require much more understanding, in my opinion. Allie is adorable! Looking at baby pictures never fails to amaze me at how much they’ve grown in such a short time. I feel like a proud dad when looking at hollys baby pictures, and I’m sure you feel the same way too. If Holly ever meets Allie at the rainbow bridge, pretty sure they’d be good friends climbing up high places
Thank you for your love and support. Sending love to you too


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## Allie_Bear

Rsjm said:


> I completely understand what you mean. I absolutely love it when holly gets mad, not on purpose of course. When hoppy (her husbun) pees on the floor beside her, and I have to wipe it with a towel, she gets so mad at the moving towel she bites and scratches at me whilst I’m cleaning. Sometimes she gets bad dreams and wakes up suddenly and just thumps for 5 minutes. Really amuses me! She loves to jump up to high places as well! But she never does jump off after getting up. Sometimes I put her pellets on my bed, so she slowly learnt to jump up to look for food. My bed is pretty high, so she can’t jump down but will dig and scratch my blankets to show her unhappiness till we carried her off. Bunnies really are amazing and funny creatures with special personalities. I’ve a dog and a cat as well, and even though they both make great pets, a bunnies personality is so much more unique and require much more understanding, in my opinion. Allie is adorable! Looking at baby pictures never fails to amaze me at how much they’ve grown in such a short time. I feel like a proud dad when looking at hollys baby pictures, and I’m sure you feel the same way too. If Holly ever meets Allie at the rainbow bridge, pretty sure they’d be good friends climbing up high places
> Thank you for your love and support. Sending love to you too



Thank you. Regarding the baby pictures; I used to ask my wife all the time... "when is that little head going to grow to match her ears and feet?". Teasing Mommy's little baby can get one smacked.


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## Rsjm

Allie_Bear said:


> Thank you. Regarding the baby pictures; I used to ask my wife all the time... "when is that little head going to grow to match her ears and feet?". Teasing Mommy's little baby can get one smacked.



Aww, im with Mommy on this one. My family always thought Holly was less beautiful as compared to Hoppy, but I thought she was beautiful in her own way nonetheless. Thankfully they didn't say anything to me and I didn't have to smack anyone  
Have u had any bunnies since Allie passed?


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## Allie_Bear

Allie was the beauty queen, despite my teasing. Allie was our 2nd and last as of about 2 years. That's why I was inquiring about harlequin breeders near me. My wife and I are missing our bunnies.


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## Mark Jackson

I am so sorry. I lost my beautiful Daisy on Monday after 9 years. Her back leg gave up and she was wetting herself I had to clean her and brush her wet fur every day until the inevitable Had to happen. It’s now Saturday and I’m sill upset I don’t know how long this goes on for. She looks beautiful. I’ll enclose a pic. She has left behind her bonded partner who I’m watching very closely. I’ve bought a snuggle pad so replace the warmth. Take care.


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## Allie_Bear

Mark Jackson said:


> I am so sorry. I lost my beautiful Daisy on Monday after 9 years. Her back leg gave up and she was wetting herself I had to clean her and brush her wet fur every day until the inevitable Had to happen. It’s now Saturday and I’m sill upset I don’t know how long this goes on for. She looks beautiful. I’ll enclose a pic. She has left behind her bonded partner who I’m watching very closely. I’ve bought a snuggle pad so replace the warmth. Take care.


She is beautiful. It takes some time to get past the worst of it, but time helps heal. Feel better !


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## Rsjm

Allie_Bear said:


> Allie was the beauty queen, despite my teasing. Allie was our 2nd and last as of about 2 years. That's why I was inquiring about harlequin breeders near me. My wife and I are missing our bunnies.



I feel you. No matter what, they will always be the most beautiful to us. The phrase beauty lies within you never rang so true. I sincerely hope you will be able to find another bun to bring joy to your life soon!


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## Rsjm

Mark Jackson said:


> I am so sorry. I lost my beautiful Daisy on Monday after 9 years. Her back leg gave up and she was wetting herself I had to clean her and brush her wet fur every day until the inevitable Had to happen. It’s now Saturday and I’m sill upset I don’t know how long this goes on for. She looks beautiful. I’ll enclose a pic. She has left behind her bonded partner who I’m watching very closely. I’ve bought a snuggle pad so replace the warmth. Take care.



I am sorry for your loss as well. Daisy looks beautiful as well, like Hoppy, Holly’s remaining bonded partner! Personally, I feel like shes taken a piece of my heart away with her, and things will never feel the same without her. I woke up for the 5th morning crying and filled with guilt. I will never feel the same, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s painful, but that’s life and I’ll learn to cope with it. Slowly, but surely. We give our beloved bunnies a piece of our hearts when they go, and if we don’t do it, who else will? We can’t change every bunnys life, but we can change the lives of those that we touch and love. Sending you my love and support, and may Daisy meet holly and binky free at the rainbow bridge!


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## Imbrium

I didn't have time to read this whole thread, but I read the first post...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two to stasis over the years and it's heartbreaking. Your story is almost identical to mine with my avatar bunny, Gazzles, back in 2014. She was a year and a half old with a history of GI stasis... I was treating a bout of stasis at home with simethicone (akin to ridwind), metoclopramide and metacam, plus syringe-feeding critical care and water. I ran to the store and left her home with my husband - just before I got home, he said she suddenly went limp, same as your precious lop. I tried to rush her to the emergency vet, cradling her in my arms and talking to her as I drove, but she died in my arms before I got very far. It broke my heart and I've struggled over the years with blaming myself for not catching this bout of stasis sooner... that feeling that there should be something you could've done differently to alter the outcome.

I was able to afford a necropsy at the time, so I wrapped her up, boxed her and kept her in the refrigerator overnight before driving her body to the vet the next morning. Just before I got there, the Alice in Chains song "Black gives way to blue" came on (for those unfamiliar, that song (and album) is mourning the passing of their original lead singer). Five years later, I still cry when I hear that song.

For what it's worth, Gaz died after going into shock and her necropsy revealed a blood clot in her intestines, which means there probably wasn't anything I could've done differently to change the outcome... and I suspect the same is true of your situation, no matter how hard it is for you to let yourself believe that. There's a lot of things that could've gone wrong for reasons unrelated to your massages. Clot, organ failure, cancer or who knows what else. Bunnies are terribly good at hiding symptoms until it's too late, so chances are there was a lot more to the whole picture than the bit you were able to see .

Do your best to forgive yourself for whatever you feel like you could've done differently, because she would want you to and because you do NOT deserve to carry around that guilt. You got seven wonderful years together and she died knowing she was loved and knowing that you were doing your best to help her. We've got a zoo's worth of pets and I'm convinced by my experiences that animals are aware when something is wrong with them and they definitely connect the dots between that and changes in your behavior related to caring for them - even though our beloved pets instinctively fight the syringe or whatever in the moment, they truly appreciate you tending to them when they're sick or hurt or dying.

Binky free, little one!


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## Rsjm

Imbrium said:


> I didn't have time to read this whole thread, but I read the first post...
> 
> I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two to stasis over the years and it's heartbreaking. Your story is almost identical to mine with my avatar bunny, Gazzles, back in 2014. She was a year and a half old with a history of GI stasis... I was treating a bout of stasis at home with simethicone (akin to ridwind), metoclopramide and metacam, plus syringe-feeding critical care and water. I ran to the store and left her home with my husband - just before I got home, he said she suddenly went limp, same as your precious lop. I tried to rush her to the emergency vet, cradling her in my arms and talking to her as I drove, but she died in my arms before I got very far. It broke my heart and I've struggled over the years with blaming myself for not catching this bout of stasis sooner... that feeling that there should be something you could've done differently to alter the outcome.
> 
> I was able to afford a necropsy at the time, so I wrapped her up, boxed her and kept her in the refrigerator overnight before driving her body to the vet the next morning. Just before I got there, the Alice in Chains song "Black gives way to blue" came on (for those unfamiliar, that song (and album) is mourning the passing of their original lead singer). Five years later, I still cry when I hear that song.
> 
> For what it's worth, Gaz died after going into shock and her necropsy revealed a blood clot in her intestines, which means there probably wasn't anything I could've done differently to change the outcome... and I suspect the same is true of your situation, no matter how hard it is for you to let yourself believe that. There's a lot of things that could've gone wrong for reasons unrelated to your massages. Clot, organ failure, cancer or who knows what else. Bunnies are terribly good at hiding symptoms until it's too late, so chances are there was a lot more to the whole picture than the bit you were able to see .
> 
> Do your best to forgive yourself for whatever you feel like you could've done differently, because she would want you to and because you do NOT deserve to carry around that guilt. You got seven wonderful years together and she died knowing she was loved and knowing that you were doing your best to help her. We've got a zoo's worth of pets and I'm convinced by my experiences that animals are aware when something is wrong with them and they definitely connect the dots between that and changes in your behavior related to caring for them - even though our beloved pets instinctively fight the syringe or whatever in the moment, they truly appreciate you tending to them when they're sick or hurt or dying.
> 
> Binky free, little one!



Thank you Jennifer, this means the world to me. I've been thinking of what Holly was going through in her last few moments, and what she could have been thinking of, and I kept thinking to myself, what if she thought that the massages were making her sick? what if she thought I was making her unwell and uncomfortable? those thoughts really made me so, so upset. She's always been my baby and forever will be, and I would be so upset to know that she passed on mad or angry at me for causing her discomfort or not saving her. After reading what you said, i feel slightly comforted, and I really hope that she knew she was loved and we were trying to help, even in her last few moments.

She had a few prior bouts of stasis, and to be fair she never ate much of her veggies and hay, and liked to steal her hus-bun's share pellets. So she didn't exactly have a healthiest of diets, and it could have been very possible that there was something else bothering her and she wasn't showing it. I know how everyone says i shouldn't blame myself or carry the guilt, but its so, so hard to especially when there are so many things that I feel i could have done better or changed if I could have gone back in time. I will try to though, and im really thankful for your kind words and support and what you and everyone have been doing and saying to me. It's been a rough 5 days and im still very emotional, but im working through it and trying to get on with life. I just heard the song, and indeed it is a sad song. I was looking through your photos (had to see more of gazzles as she looks so similar to Holly's widowed hus-bun), and she was really an adorable baby buns, and I can only imagine the heartbreak you went through losing her.. Im sure gazzles meant a lot to you, if the song still makes you cry and think of her 5 years on, and that you and her still share a very strong bond to this date. One of my biggest fears is that i'll forget how much Holly means to me, and i don't want that. I want to still cry over her 5, 10, maybe even 30 years from now, maybe not out of pain, but out of happiness remembering all the happy times we shared. Thank you again, for sharing your experience with me. I'm sure it wasn't easy recounting it, but I want to let you know I really do appreciate it, and i can sincerely say that it has made me feel a bit better. I hope Gazzles is binkying happily at the rainbow bridge with Holly, and sending love to you and the your current buns now <3


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## Imbrium

I'm so glad it helped to hear that they seem to know when you're trying to make them feel better . Though I have anecdotal evidence from cats, rabbits and small birds as well, one of the best stories I have in that regard is from a sugar glider, Hobbes. We hadn't had him very long at the time and while his cage-mate Hurricane has been a sweetheart from the day I got her, Hobbes was unaccustomed to being handled and was both afraid and aggressively unbonded to us (as in hand-greeted-with-lunging-teeth-that-lock-on-like-a-vice-grip unbonded).

One morning (must've been pretty early, since they were still awake), I was watching the gliders in their cage and I noticed Hobbes hunching up and making this weird hissing/clicking noise I'd never heard before. I watched for a couple minutes and it looked to me like he was constipated and trying to poop was causing him pain. So, off to the exotics vet we went. He did NOT want to go and was a real pill about everything - scared and lashing out as he got poked and prodded, the poor thing. After a physical exam, he got x-rayed, briefly sedated and got a scope shoved up his bum. He was diagnosed with enteritis (inflammation of his colon) and sent home with and Metacam (pain killer) and Flagyl (antibiotic... I put my foot down about 'no Baytril' after a previous bad experience giving it to a sugar glider).

Anyway, we get home and I've gotta medicate this sick and angry and terrified glider who would like nothing more than to see my fingers gushing blood. Thankfully, I had some feeding tips (cannula tips), which make getting a 1 ml syringe into a very small mouth infinitely easier. I kept him in his snugly fleece sleeping pouch, using it like a glove... without letting him get loose enough to attack, I had to get the feeding tip into his mouth and squeeze in a couple drops of icky medication before he could jerk away. A very nerve-wracking experience for both of us! I think it goes without saying that he was not a fan of this. At ALL.

24 hours later, I go to repeat this process... but when the tip of the syringe approached his face, his mouth popped wide open! From that day forward, he was never as vicious towards me as he had been before he got sick.

If something with a brain not much bigger than a pea can connect the dots between being force-fed nasty stuff and not feeling miserable any more... and a cat who would normally quite literally try to kill you for attempting to bathe them suddenly tolerates it when they're infested with fleas... then surely our bunnies understand the correlation between being miserable and having a human do unusual things to them.

I actually used to refer to Gaz as our 'Munchausen' bunny because she was prone to gas and the early warning signs of stasis. Sometimes she'd seem a little off and shun a treat like her appetite was reduced and I'd whip out the first aid kit to start trying home remedies... then as soon as I'd dosed her with simethicone and/or probiotics (before they could even have taken effect and without getting pain meds yet) she'd suddenly be back to normal! It seemed as though there were times when she just wanted the attention or to feel like she'd gotten something special from me .


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## Rsjm

Imbrium said:


> I'm so glad it helped to hear that they seem to know when you're trying to make them feel better . Though I have anecdotal evidence from cats, rabbits and small birds as well, one of the best stories I have in that regard is from a sugar glider, Hobbes. We hadn't had him very long at the time and while his cage-mate Hurricane has been a sweetheart from the day I got her, Hobbes was unaccustomed to being handled and was both afraid and aggressively unbonded to us (as in hand-greeted-with-lunging-teeth-that-lock-on-like-a-vice-grip unbonded).
> 
> One morning (must've been pretty early, since they were still awake), I was watching the gliders in their cage and I noticed Hobbes hunching up and making this weird hissing/clicking noise I'd never heard before. I watched for a couple minutes and it looked to me like he was constipated and trying to poop was causing him pain. So, off to the exotics vet we went. He did NOT want to go and was a real pill about everything - scared and lashing out as he got poked and prodded, the poor thing. After a physical exam, he got x-rayed, briefly sedated and got a scope shoved up his bum. He was diagnosed with enteritis (inflammation of his colon) and sent home with and Metacam (pain killer) and Flagyl (antibiotic... I put my foot down about 'no Baytril' after a previous bad experience giving it to a sugar glider).
> 
> Anyway, we get home and I've gotta medicate this sick and angry and terrified glider who would like nothing more than to see my fingers gushing blood. Thankfully, I had some feeding tips (cannula tips), which make getting a 1 ml syringe into a very small mouth infinitely easier. I kept him in his snugly fleece sleeping pouch, using it like a glove... without letting him get loose enough to attack, I had to get the feeding tip into his mouth and squeeze in a couple drops of icky medication before he could jerk away. A very nerve-wracking experience for both of us! I think it goes without saying that he was not a fan of this. At ALL.
> 
> 24 hours later, I go to repeat this process... but when the tip of the syringe approached his face, his mouth popped wide open! From that day forward, he was never as vicious towards me as he had been before he got sick.
> 
> If something with a brain not much bigger than a pea can connect the dots between being force-fed nasty stuff and not feeling miserable any more... and a cat who would normally quite literally try to kill you for attempting to bathe them suddenly tolerates it when they're infested with fleas... then surely our bunnies understand the correlation between being miserable and having a human do unusual things to them.
> 
> I actually used to refer to Gaz as our 'Munchausen' bunny because she was prone to gas and the early warning signs of stasis. Sometimes she'd seem a little off and shun a treat like her appetite was reduced and I'd whip out the first aid kit to start trying home remedies... then as soon as I'd dosed her with simethicone and/or probiotics (before they could even have taken effect and without getting pain meds yet) she'd suddenly be back to normal! It seemed as though there were times when she just wanted the attention or to feel like she'd gotten something special from me .



I agree with you completely, not just rabbits, but animals have an ability to understand care and love in ways we can't fathom.. Holly used to do the same with her all mini stasis bouts, pretty sure a few of them were for attention! My remaining buns has been hanging out in my room every single day since Holly's passing, and i brought him to the vet to get a check up to make sure hes okay. Vet said hes very healthy for a senior bun, but his tear duct was clogged and i've to apply eye drops now. Its nothing much, but he absolutely HATES being handled and would disappear from our sight for 1-2 days after we bring him to the vet or grooming. But now he seemed to have changed and hes now much more receptive to being handled, and probably gets mad for about 10 mins and all is good after. Definitely not as aggressive as Hobbes, (he had his teeth removed so im not sure if he'd bite me or not haha) but I can feel the change in his attitude towards us ever since his bun-wife passed and knowing that we're here for him.

Just to give everyone an update, i've been very busy catching up on work the last few days (since i spent the last week in pain and upset and did not do any work whatsoever...), but i've slowly begun to accept that Holly was indeed a senior bun, and it was her time. Every bun owner and vet i've spoken to all said bunnies start getting old and having health issues around age 6 onwards, but I guess i've always seen them as babies and failed to understand that they were getting on in age.. The vet said Hoppy was very healthy for an 8 year old bun, so I guess I kinda expected Holly to be that healthy as well. The pain is much less now, but I still think of her everyday imagining her in places she used to be ): I've been pondering the idea of starting a charity/social enterprise for a few months, and might be strange to say but Holly's passing was the catalyst for me taking active steps to bring it to action and life in memory of her. I hope to share more details with you guys in future, im in a different continent so it might not be applicable to you guys, but would like to say I truly appreciate all the kind words of love and support i've had the last week and I wouldn't be feeling better without each and everyone of your words and support. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.


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## D OB

Rsjm said:


> This is a very long post, but I need to find the words to describe the situation, I apologise if it is too lengthy.
> 
> My beloved 7 and a half year of lop passed away Wednesday noon.. i didn’t order a post mortem to find the exact cause of death, in part cause of financial constraints, and also partly cuz I didn’t want to find out the reason why (how much of my fault it was..) I just know it was due to her bloat/ GI stasis.
> 
> I have 2 rabbits, and she was a joy in my life. I can’t believe she’s gone. She’s had a few rounds of GI stasis throughout the years, and after the first few times with visits to the vet, I learnt to treat her myself with belly massages as well as syringe feeding her with water and food.
> 
> On Tuesday around 6pm, I realised she was pooping large soft masses that stuck to her butt. She was clearly uncomfortable and did not want to eat, drink, or move. I left her for a while and waited till evening to see if it fit better/worse. At 10pm, she was still the same. So I syringe fed her some water and massages. She didn’t seem weak, the usual bunny-loaf posture and could still hop around to find her comfortable spot/position.
> 
> On Wednesday morning (about 12 hours after symptoms appeared) i woke up to find her in the same place as the night before, staying there for the whole night. I massaged her a little more, and thought that I should give it a bit more time before bringing her to the vet, since it’s only been 12 hours and her bouts usually lasted 24-36 hours before getting better with home treatment.
> 
> I went out to get some ridwind, and gave her a long belly massage before feeding her the ridwind at 1130am on wednesday. Up till that point, she was in her bunny-loaf position. She looked upset and clearly uncomfortable, but did not look weak or dying.
> 
> I went to take a shower, and was gonna take her to the vet after that. When I came out, she was sprawled on the ground looking very weak with her paws sprawled all over. I panicked, and ldrove as fast as I could to the vet （30min drive)
> 
> My beloved bunny passed away on the way to the vet, less than 24 hours after she started exhibiting symptoms, and barely 30mins after the last round of massages and ridwind. I can’t help but think that instead of helping her, I made her condition worse. The massages worsened the bloat/stasis instead of helping her. That’s the only reason I can think of that her condition worsened so quickly in less than 24 hours.
> 
> I can’t get over it, and I don’t know if I ever will. My lovely bunny had a good few more years with us, and I let her down by failing to get her to the vet on time. I had a similar situation many years ago, where my puppy passed away on the way to the vet too. Coincidentally, it was on the same date. 23rd October 2002. I blamed myself for not being faster, not catching onto the signs earlier. Tried to show my other rabbit that she’s gone, but he can’t seem to understand and it breaks my heart.
> 
> My lovely bunny only had me to count on, and I let her down. I work from home so I spend about 8 hours with my bunnies everyday running around my room. I am devastated and I’ve been telling myself this is just a bad dream, and I’ll wake up from it. No words can describe the pain and grief I feel right now. What do I do from here, how do I overcome the guilt? How do I continue living my life, cuz I can’t imagine life without her right now, especially when her life ended prematurely due to my own mistake.
> 
> please reply with pictures of your bunnies as well, it would mean a lot to me..



I’m so sorry for loss. Shes beautiful and gave you so much. Please don’t feel bad. I’m trying to cope with loosing my 3 month old lop, Fitzgerald. He was a real source of happiness for me, we didn’t have a lot of time together, but I can’t tell you what he means to me.

Every day is a real struggle . He had GI stasis too, he was up and down and I thought he was ok, the vet did too( I took him to 2) but nothing I tried helped. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the loss. And you won’t either. Because that’s how much they meant to us. But I need you to know that you did everything right. Everything. I know you feel bad and I do too, but you did everything right. Sometimes things just happen. The loss is immeasurable. But you’re a great person, and she knew you loved and adored her, and were thing to help her. Please know that. You’re not alone. The loss is overwhelming


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## Nicole17

I lost one of my bunnies just yesterday  I hope you feel better soon and know that you’re not alone in the way you feel. We’ll get through this tough time.


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## FinnegansMom

OH MY GOODNESS, I AM SOOOOOO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS! I lost my beloved Sassafras last December and I too blamed myself. What should I have done differently, should I have taken her to the vet sooner, how did I miss this issue and why didn't I be a better bun mom. Oh yeah I blamed myself, I had just started a new job 100 miles away and wasn't spending as much time with her so I missed the signs. My husband called me at work to let me know she wasn't feeling well and he was worried. As soon as I came home and went to her I could hear her teeth grinding, not purring, grinding and I knew she was in pain. We drove an hour to the nearest emergency vet. They hydrated her and gave some medicine and we came home and I slept in her playyard with her all night stroking her and just telling her over and over I was so sorry. I also gave her syringes of water and critical care for two days. Then she started going down hill fast and I took her to an expert in rabbits in Fairfax on the way to my job near DC. 

As soon as the vet saw her I saw her face and I knew what she was going to say. She told me she had a tumor on the back of her eye and I was floored because I just took her to the vet eye specialists and they said nothing that she just had a cataract that caused her blindness in one eye. I asked was she in pain and she said yes, very much. I asked was there anyway to save her and the vet said it would take a very very long time and a lot of money and even then there is no guarantee. She would have to stay with the vet for months. I asked did she recommend to put her down and she answered yes. I burst into tears and said just do it I don't want her to suffer. So they gave me a few minutes while I held her on my chest and loved on her and told her how sorry I was that I wasn't a better mom to her but that she changed my life and I would never forget her. Then the vet gave her the injection and carefully listened to her heart while I said good bye and I loved her. They had to give her another shot because she wouldn't let go and I panicked should I try to save her but the vet said it was better to let her go so she gave her the second injection and she was gone in a few seconds.

For the next month I felt like I couldn't breath, my chest hurt constantly, I cried everyday all day on and off even while at work. She was such a part of my day and my life I just couldn't imagine living my life without her and I didn't want to. I just wanted to die too and they guilt I felt was overwhelming. After a few weeks I began to feel a little better because I began taking antidepressants. I just stayed on them until I didn't feel I needed them anymore. In January I was just looking at a breeder near me and the baby bunnies and I said I'm not sure when I will be ready to have another but when I see him I'll know it's time. So almost the end of the month she contacted me with a little guy to see if I wanted him and as soon as I saw him I knew he was my little guy. I've had Finnegan since February 15th of this year and he is the love of my life. It's a different experience because he's a different bunny in personality, gender and breed. I don't feel guilty or that I am betraying Sassy. I actually had a drawing made of Sassy that I have on my wall as a memorial and I talk to Finnegan about Sassy and I wonder if they would have gotten along. She was pretty bossy. lol 

I still miss Sassy and teared up while telling you about my precious girl, she was only 4. So young, she barely lived. I still blame myself for her deteriorating so quickly and that I let her down but I also learned from that experience so I made sure I read everything I could about nutrition, health and warning signs. My vet is actually the vet that The House Rabbit Society used to compile a list of Rabbit knowledgeable and trained vets in each state so I feel very fortunate for my Finnegan. Only the best for him.

It is going to take time....a lot of time but you will feel better and start to smile again when you think of your precious one. It's good that you have others to comfort you that should help. I suddenly didn't have any thing to take care of at all so I think that made the loss and emptiness I felt even worse. I kept hearing her or looking for her out of habit but eventually that stopped after I got Finnegan because I was listening for him.

I wish you peace in your heart and mind as you heal from this huge loss. My prayers are with you.


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## Duckfarmer1

Ok, I have just lost 14 rabbits thru GIStasis and I’ll tell you what...I thought I was prepared...but I wasn’t..next time.. I know everything now...I am an expert unfortunately now from everything I was forced to learn. We have a hobby farm and I have..had 32 bunnies..I give them away for fun...they are such a joy..please please do not beat yourself up..that disease comes on so fast..this was my third time dealing with it..each time is different..so you had no way to know it would go that fast..focus on her good years..please...and get a new bunny..do you live anywhere near NWPA. I’d love to give you one. Here some of mine there’s even a bad picture of Sally my house bunny..her litter mates died so I brought her in..she loves it but I just haven’t gotten a good picture yet..lol









I hope just one of these pictures will make you smile. Hope to hear more from you tomorrow


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## Rsjm

FinnegansMom said:


> OH MY GOODNESS, I AM SOOOOOO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS! I lost my beloved Sassafras last December and I too blamed myself. What should I have done differently, should I have taken her to the vet sooner, how did I miss this issue and why didn't I be a better bun mom. Oh yeah I blamed myself, I had just started a new job 100 miles away and wasn't spending as much time with her so I missed the signs. My husband called me at work to let me know she wasn't feeling well and he was worried. As soon as I came home and went to her I could hear her teeth grinding, not purring, grinding and I knew she was in pain. We drove an hour to the nearest emergency vet. They hydrated her and gave some medicine and we came home and I slept in her playyard with her all night stroking her and just telling her over and over I was so sorry. I also gave her syringes of water and critical care for two days. Then she started going down hill fast and I took her to an expert in rabbits in Fairfax on the way to my job near DC.
> 
> As soon as the vet saw her I saw her face and I knew what she was going to say. She told me she had a tumor on the back of her eye and I was floored because I just took her to the vet eye specialists and they said nothing that she just had a cataract that caused her blindness in one eye. I asked was she in pain and she said yes, very much. I asked was there anyway to save her and the vet said it would take a very very long time and a lot of money and even then there is no guarantee. She would have to stay with the vet for months. I asked did she recommend to put her down and she answered yes. I burst into tears and said just do it I don't want her to suffer. So they gave me a few minutes while I held her on my chest and loved on her and told her how sorry I was that I wasn't a better mom to her but that she changed my life and I would never forget her. Then the vet gave her the injection and carefully listened to her heart while I said good bye and I loved her. They had to give her another shot because she wouldn't let go and I panicked should I try to save her but the vet said it was better to let her go so she gave her the second injection and she was gone in a few seconds.
> 
> For the next month I felt like I couldn't breath, my chest hurt constantly, I cried everyday all day on and off even while at work. She was such a part of my day and my life I just couldn't imagine living my life without her and I didn't want to. I just wanted to die too and they guilt I felt was overwhelming. After a few weeks I began to feel a little better because I began taking antidepressants. I just stayed on them until I didn't feel I needed them anymore. In January I was just looking at a breeder near me and the baby bunnies and I said I'm not sure when I will be ready to have another but when I see him I'll know it's time. So almost the end of the month she contacted me with a little guy to see if I wanted him and as soon as I saw him I knew he was my little guy. I've had Finnegan since February 15th of this year and he is the love of my life. It's a different experience because he's a different bunny in personality, gender and breed. I don't feel guilty or that I am betraying Sassy. I actually had a drawing made of Sassy that I have on my wall as a memorial and I talk to Finnegan about Sassy and I wonder if they would have gotten along. She was pretty bossy. lol
> 
> I still miss Sassy and teared up while telling you about my precious girl, she was only 4. So young, she barely lived. I still blame myself for her deteriorating so quickly and that I let her down but I also learned from that experience so I made sure I read everything I could about nutrition, health and warning signs. My vet is actually the vet that The House Rabbit Society used to compile a list of Rabbit knowledgeable and trained vets in each state so I feel very fortunate for my Finnegan. Only the best for him.
> 
> It is going to take time....a lot of time but you will feel better and start to smile again when you think of your precious one. It's good that you have others to comfort you that should help. I suddenly didn't have any thing to take care of at all so I think that made the loss and emptiness I felt even worse. I kept hearing her or looking for her out of habit but eventually that stopped after I got Finnegan because I was listening for him.
> 
> I wish you peace in your heart and mind as you heal from this huge loss. My prayers are with you.View attachment 43853
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i am so, so sorry for your loss! Sassa sounded like an absolute boss! I completely understand you and feel for you. It’s been almost 2 weeks, and I still feel the pain and I’m trying to avoid things that will make me think of the experience of bringing her to the vet when she passed.. such as driving the same road etc.. I don’t know I can’t really put into words how I feel right now, have been pretty numb.. but i still see her all around the house. I get occasional sadness and just not feel like doing anything when I think of her, but apart from that the pain does seemed to have gone away a bit. 

I actually brought her surviving partner to try matchmake him with a new companion this past weekend, if anything maybe just to get him to interact and be social for a bit. He couldn’t get along with any of the other buns.. makes me appreciate and miss Holly more, and what a special relationship those 2 had. She’ll never be replaced in my heart, and I’m sure sassa would never be for you too. Like you said bunnies are so unique in their personalities and they’re all special in their own little ways.. it surprises me how such small creatures are so unique, and yet get shown so little love. I had Holly cremated and have a little urn with her ashes in my room where she likes to hang around, and I still speak to her daily, although I know she isn’t here. That might be a bit weird to others.. :/

thank you for taking the time to share sassy’s story with me, I appreciate it <3 
As bun parents we all have to one day go through the hard part of letting them go, and I’m thankful to have this community’s support, and I’m sure you have it too. Please let me know if anything, if you’d like to share more about sassy, if it makes u feel better or remember her again. I’d be more than happy too, and I’ve been recounting holly’s stories and memories with my partner and friends. It does make me a little bit happier, knowing that all we had were happy memories together. Sassy looks adorable, and that’s a really nice sketch of her!! I’ve been trying to find a good picture of holly to print/draw, but unfortunately she didn’t have any good angles for photos.. She wasn’t very photogenic sending love to Finn as well, send pictures so we can see how he looks like! :’)


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## Imbrium

Rsjm said:


> I had Holly cremated and have a little urn with her ashes in my room where she likes to hang around, and I still speak to her daily, although I know she isn’t here. That might be a bit weird to others.. :/



I literally laughed out loud when I read that last sentence and got out of our warm and comfy bed to get on the actual computer and post this picture for you:




This is Layne, who passed last January 19th during a bout with stasis. We arguably couldn't even afford cremation after the vet bill to try to save him, so I just couldn't spare the extra $15+ to upgrade to a real/fancier urn and we got stuck with the free tin. His little tin was so plain and sad, so I decorated it for him! I carried it everywhere at first (it's small enough to fit in my purse) and sometimes slept with it in my hand. We still talk to him sometimes and periodically put little "offerings" in his tin (like a craisin or a bit of hay; the ashes are in a sealed zipper bag inside, so we can put gifts to him in there and then clean it out later). We even took him to the Houston zoo on the free Tuesday in February and scattered a little pinch of his ashes by each of our favorite exhibits. He still sits on our little bedside table.


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## huffl

Sorry for your loss. I understand what your doing through as we lost Annabelle in the beginning of October this year. I miss her dearly and this community’s support has helped greatly. Remember all the good and silly times you had with your bunny.


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## Rsjm

Duckfarmer1 said:


> Ok, I have just lost 14 rabbits thru GIStasis and I’ll tell you what...I thought I was prepared...but I wasn’t..next time.. I know everything now...I am an expert unfortunately now from everything I was forced to learn. We have a hobby farm and I have..had 32 bunnies..I give them away for fun...they are such a joy..please please do not beat yourself up..that disease comes on so fast..this was my third time dealing with it..each time is different..so you had no way to know it would go that fast..focus on her good years..please...and get a new bunny..do you live anywhere near NWPA. I’d love to give you one. Here some of mine there’s even a bad picture of Sally my house bunny..her litter mates died so I brought her in..she loves it but I just haven’t gotten a good picture yet..lolView attachment 43859
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> I hope just one of these pictures will make you smile. Hope to hear more from you tomorrow



I am so sorry to hear of your experience as well.. I’m sure you loved each one of them dearly! Thanks for your offer  but unfortunately I’m not located in USA. I would love to one day own a big enough place to have many bunnies as well though.. and yes you are right, each time is different from the other, I guess what the others have said is true, Stasis is more of a symptom rather than a disease itself, so now I am more alert to subtle changes in behaviour of the bunnies, rather than waiting for stasis to occur (as that will probably be too late..) 

your bunnies are really adorable. Although they change once they grow up, I personally feel like their personality sticks with them, and it doesn’t change all that much. Wishing you and the rest of the bunnies good health and well wishes!! What a nice big happy family you have there <3


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## Rsjm

Imbrium said:


> I literally laughed out loud when I read that last sentence and got out of our warm and comfy bed to get on the actual computer and post this picture for you:
> 
> View attachment 43982
> 
> 
> This is Layne, who passed last January 19th during a bout with stasis. We arguably couldn't even afford cremation after the vet bill to try to save him, so I just couldn't spare the extra $15+ to upgrade to a real/fancier urn and we got stuck with the free tin. His little tin was so plain and sad, so I decorated it for him! I carried it everywhere at first (it's small enough to fit in my purse) and sometimes slept with it in my hand. We still talk to him sometimes and periodically put little "offerings" in his tin (like a craisin or a bit of hay; the ashes are in a sealed zipper bag inside, so we can put gifts to him in there and then clean it out later). We even took him to the Houston zoo on the free Tuesday in February and scattered a little pinch of his ashes by each of our favorite exhibits. He still sits on our little bedside table.



Haha that’s a nice enough urn!! That’s really so sweet of you. I’m sure he’d be so happy if he could see you from the rainbow bridge. I would love to bring her everywhere I go, unfortunately her urn is a little too big so she’ll have to settle with being at home at her favourite spot haha. How much is an urn where you’re at? The pet cremator actually offered the scattering off ashes at sea at no charge, but it was a definite no for me cuz Holly hated water and getting wet so she’d definitely be mad if I had agreed to that!


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## Rsjm

huffl said:


> Sorry for your loss. I understand what your doing through as we lost Annabelle in the beginning of October this year. I miss her dearly and this community’s support has helped greatly. Remember all the good and silly times you had with your bunny.



thank you for your kind words. Yeah that’s what I’ve been doing, I’m sure you’re going through the same thing and I can only hope that this community has made u feel better, just as much as it has made me. Sending love and well wishes to you! May Annabelle binky free at the rainbow bridge


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## Imbrium

We could've had them scattered for free or returned in the default urn (tin) for free. It's also tons cheaper at the place we use if you agree to a sort of group-cremation-ashes-spread-at-pet-cemetary deal, but we always cough up to get individual cremation and ashes returned.

Regardless of the urn, the ashes themselves (in my experience) are always in some variety of plastic bag. Layne's amounted to a 3'' x 2.5'' x 1.5'' (max) baggie for a nearly 8 lb rabbit.

Urns at the cremation place we use start at $15 and go up from there.


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## Rsjm

Imbrium said:


> We could've had them scattered for free or returned in the default urn (tin) for free. It's also tons cheaper at the place we use if you agree to a sort of group-cremation-ashes-spread-at-pet-cemetary deal, but we always cough up to get individual cremation and ashes returned.
> 
> Regardless of the urn, the ashes themselves (in my experience) are always in some variety of plastic bag. Layne's amounted to a 3'' x 2.5'' x 1.5'' (max) baggie for a nearly 8 lb rabbit.
> 
> Urns at the cremation place we use start at $15 and go up from there.



If you’d ever like to upgrade Layne’s urn, or do anything in his memory, I would like to contribute towards one for you. I’d like to do something to give back for all the kindness that you’ve shown me. I really do appreciate it.


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## Imbrium

Aww, that's very sweet of you! I'm happy with his decorated urn, though - it makes me giggle when I look at it and remember him fondly. If you wish to repay me for my help, then I'd love you to 'pay it forward' instead by helping out others on the forum with advice or comforting words. Give back by giving to bunnies .


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## Rsjm

T


Imbrium said:


> Aww, that's very sweet of you! I'm happy with his decorated urn, though - it makes me giggle when I look at it and remember him fondly. If you wish to repay me for my help, then I'd love you to 'pay it forward' instead by helping out others on the forum with advice or comforting words. Give back by giving to bunnies .


I will do just that. Been terribly busy recently with work, and I still think of her everyday, and the happy memories we had. Had a rough day few days back, and broke down when I remembered and thought of her last day with us. It'll take time, but i'll slowly get better, just like all of you have had. 

I've taken some of your advice and been attending adoption drives in look for a companion. My remaining bus is really picky, seems to only like females.. will be fostering a female bun for a week, and if all goes well i'll be able to give her a home :') (poor girl hasnt had a home for the past 1-1.5 years..) will update with pictures


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## MacDennis

This sounds almost identical to what happened to me and my best buddy. I'm struggling with the guilt and pain. I treated my baby several times for gut stasis over the last year. This time I just assumed it would work out the same and I would nurse him back to health. Unfortunately the meds and feeding and heat bottles didn't make this better. It was too late by the time I realised he was suffering from a GI blockage. I watched him die in agony only about 24hrs from when I noticed him hunched in pain not eating. It happened too fast and I beat myself up for not taking the day off work to take him to the vet in the morning. He wasn't even 2 years old, yet it feels like we were connected all our lives. He leaves his strongly bonded brother behind too. It's so tragic and I can't cope with this grief.


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## john.thorpe1952

I can totally sympathise. The fact that you feel this way shows that you cared a great deal,and that can never be bad.If you made an error of judgement,join the great universal club! Anyone who has cared for animals has made mistakes,it's unfortunate but inevitable and even the best vets can do it.Blaming yourself is natural too,I've done that may times,and in the end you can only do the best you can,from a standpoint of love and concern.He knew you loved him,and all you can do is learn from it and apply what the lesson taught you if you're ever in the same position again.best wishes from someone who has been there.


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